Chapter 36

Tony and Ziva easily caught up with Tim, and while they could have easily held him back, something about the expression on his face kept them from trying.

"Tim, you don't know who it could be out there," Tony said. "This is crazy!"

"I know who it could be," Tim said. "I don't know who it is, but I'm not letting this happen again. I keep getting taken by surprise. I keep letting other people dictate what happens. That's not happening this time."

"What will you do?" Ziva asked.

Tim's energy was already flagging and he was stumbling over the rough ground, but he was giving off such an independent vibe that neither Tony nor Ziva had seen in him for ages. They had no chance of stopping him...or even giving him physical assistance. For the first time, he was walking alone and he wasn't stopping.

Tim tripped over a large clump and cursed as he fell to the ground...but he got to his feet again and kept on his way. Slowly, but surely.

The small light vanished, and Tim stopped walking.

"I saw you!" he shouted. "I saw you and I'm right here! Do me the courtesy of showing yourselves!"

He didn't look at Tony or Ziva. He just stared into the darkness, waiting for an answer.

"What is it, this time?" Tim shouted. "More terrorists? Cowards who hide in the darkness? Supposed patriots who have no respect for the law? Who?"

Tony looked at Ziva who shook her head. They had no idea who would come to them...if anyone would at all. Tim didn't move. He just waited.

After a minute, five figures came out of the darkness. None of their features could be discerned, only their shapes.

"Who are you?" Tim demanded.

"We're not terrorists."

The voice had no accent.

"Who are you?" he asked again. "I'm not kidding."

Tony and Ziva were hanging back a little, ready to get involved if needed, but willing to let Tim have his say.

"FBI."

Tim laughed cynically. "Figures. What are you doing? Or what is it that you think you're doing?"

"Taking you into protective custody."

Tim laughed outright. "I don't think so," he said.

"We were told it's in your best interest."

"Well, whoever told you that is wrong. It is not in my best interest. It's in your employer's best interest...or they think it is."

"Are you going to resist?"

"Yes," Tim said simply. "Yes, I am. You're not listening to me. It is not in my best interest to be forcibly taken from a place of sanctuary and removed from my life. Do you have any idea what I have been doing with my time? I've been trying to walk again after being tortured. I've been trying to reconnect with my life again. I will not go with you. I will not allow you to take me over."

"We do out number you. Five to one." The speaker didn't sound angry or even threatening. He was simply giving information.

"Five to three," Tony said, stepping forward with Ziva.

"There are more on this side than there are of the FBI," came another voice out of the darkness.

"Who are you?" the FBI agent asked.

"CIA."

Tim looked back over his shoulder, took a deep breath and let it out slowly but said nothing about the revelation of yet more CIA presence in his life.

"The FBI is outnumbered."

Tim shook his head.

"No! This is not going to turn into a fight! I am not allowing that either." He looked from the FBI toward the still-concealed CIA agents. "This is not about fighting for supremacy. This is about what I am saying, what I am going to accept. You will not be taking me with you."

"We have our orders."

"I don't care. You can go back to DC and tell your bosses that I'll be back there in about a week. They have that much time to be ready for me. They won't be winning, but I'll give them the chance to try. This is not a fight for control of information. This is my life. I have done nothing wrong, and I am not letting you spirit me away like I'm a criminal you're arresting. I don't care what you try to say to pretend it's anything else. I will be treated like a criminal, and I won't accept that. I don't want this to turn into a fight. We should be on the same side, but if you force me into a fight, you will lose. You are outnumbered, and you are wrong."

Silence. A number of figures in the darkness. No one was moving. The wind had picked up and it was cold...but no one moved.

"What are you going to do?" Tim asked.

The dark figures of the FBI pulled back and vanished from the area without saying a word. Tim then turned to where the voice of the CIA agent had come.

"And you?" he asked.

"I wouldn't have said anything if it hadn't been necessary."

"How long?"

"As long as you've been here."

"Okay." Tim paused. "...I think you can leave now."

"I'll leave you alone, but we're not leaving until you leave."

"Understood."

Tim heard footsteps walking away.

Finally, he was alone with Tony and Ziva on the hill.

Tim turned and looked at them.

"Wow, Tim," Tony said.

Tony thought he could see a slight smile on Tim's face as it was illuminated slightly by the distant lights in the house.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me back to the house?"

Tim's knees started to buckle. Tony and Ziva leapt forward and caught him before he could fall.

"How did you manage to stand for so long?" Ziva asked, feeling how much pressure Tim was putting on her shoulders.

"I had to. So I did."

They started to make their awkward way back to the house, Tim leaning on them both.

"Way to go, Probie," Tony said. "Haven't heard you talk like that...maybe ever."

"I have to deal with things. I can't let them control me anymore. I have to take control of my own life."

"How long have you felt like that?"

Tim chuckled a little. "How long have we been out here?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. That's how long. I didn't know that...that I could do this until I had to."

"Are you really going back?"

"Yeah. I guess it's time. I would have liked to stay a bit longer. ...did you know about the CIA being out here?"

"No," Tony said. "It doesn't really surprise me, but I didn't know they were there."

"The house...CIA?"

"Yes," Ziva said. "Gibbs asked Carew for help."

"Gibbs asked for help?"

"Yes. He felt it was more important to get you safe than to avoid the CIA."

"He didn't...promise anything?"

"He says he did not. He simply demanded that Carew help."

They walked in silence for a few moments.

"What are you going to do back in DC?" Tony asked.

"I'm going to get my life back and I'm not going to let anyone take it away from me again."

"And Carew?"

"He can't take it from me if I don't let him. I still owe him, and I'll have to pay that back, but I don't have to give him my life...my soul. I can keep that. Dr. Hicks has helped me see it. I can still...be who I am and face the world as it is. I'm...not very good at it yet, but I'll have time. I'll make sure I have time. ...and I have a week to get ready."

"What will you do?" Ziva asked.

"Talk to Dr. Hicks."

"Tim, you can ask us for help, you know."

Tim just smiled and shook his head. "No. Not about this. Dr. Hicks can help. You can't."

"Why not?"

Tim stopped walked and straightened, testing his feet on the ground.

"I know what you're thinking, but it's not what you're thinking. This is something you genuinely cannot help with. I'm really glad you guys were here tonight. It helped, even if I had to make a threat I didn't want to make."

"It worked."

"Yeah, but...but I meant what I said. We should all be on the same side, and I am tired of people dying for me. I don't want them fighting for me either."

"You can't control them, Tim," Tony said. "If you could..."

"This wouldn't be happening, but I can do what I can to keep it from ever happening again."

"And you need Dr. Hicks for that?"

"I need information Dr. Hicks can give me...and I'll make my plan...and then..."

"Then, you will tell us," Ziva said. "You will, and you will not try to protect us from these things. It is impossible, and we have all seen the problems you have been facing, even if you refuse to tell us more. You will not try to do this on your own. Understand?"

Tim started to protest.

"You will not force us to face another disappearance with no idea of what has happened. You were not here to see what happened to us when you vanished, Tim. Every time you have gone away, we have been hurt by it, too. You have no control over most of those things, but you have control this time, and you will not put us through that again."

"I won't," Tim said softly. "...but you can't assume that you'll be part of everything. I won't leave you behind."

"Good," Tony said. "Then, you won't mind that I'm going to call DC and tell them you're coming back."

Tim smiled. "No. I don't mind. I've missed everyone."

"Good because I am willing to bet that Abby is going nuts."

"Probably. I think...I can walk again."

"Are you sure? We can help," Ziva said.

"I know you can, but I need to walk on my own if I can."

Tim took a few faltering steps and then got his bearings and walked very slowly back to the house. Tony helped him up the stairs and into his room. Then, Tim actually fell asleep. Tony and Ziva, however, set up a vigil. It was one thing to acknowledge that there were CIA people watching them, but it was another to accept that no one else was going to try and penetrate Tim's sanctuary.

No one came during the night and Tony and Ziva both fell asleep near dawn. Tim woke up before them, and he smiled at their caution when he hobbled out of his room. He wondered when he had suddenly felt safe knowing that the CIA was watching him. When had that gone from being nearly unbearable to be something he could actually want? Tim didn't know, but he was okay with having that sick feeling gone from his stomach. Maybe it was the fact that he'd been watched for a long period of time already without knowing about it...he'd felt safe and he hadn't even realized he had watchers. Maybe that was it. ...or maybe it was an awareness of what Dr. Hicks had been trying to hammer into his brain: he had to learn to trust again. Funny that it was the CIA...and those FBI agents that he had trusted.

His feet started aching, a signal that he'd been standing for too long. He limped to the kitchen and got the chair Tony had purchased for him. It was high enough that he could sit on it and reach the counters, and it had casters. It allowed him to work in the kitchen even if he couldn't stand for long periods of time.

That was something that still worried him. While he was definitely better than he had been before, it was taking a long time for his feet to heal. What if they never healed all the way? The only thing that kept him from panicking about it was the fact that his doctor and David had both said he'd likely fully recover. He'd deal with the pain for now if it would go away later. He just hoped that it would...and that he'd have the chance for it.

Quietly, he started getting out ingredients for breakfast. There was a really fun waffle iron, and waffles were easy to make. So Tim got out the eggs and milk and started mixing things together. Then, he plugged in the waffle iron and set the first cup of batter cooking. The first beep signaling that Tim needed to turn the iron over woke up his companions.

Tony and Ziva walked into the kitchen, yawning a little bit.

"Tim, what's up?"

"Breakfast," Tim said with a smile. "You guys looked tired. Did you stay up all night?"

"Obviously not the entire night," Ziva said, smiling back at him. "As much as we could."

Tim looked at them and felt a bit of a lump in his throat. "Thanks, you guys," he said softly.

"Our pleasure, Probie," Tony said.

Tim rolled his chair to one of the cupboards and pulled out the plates. He turned around and held them out to Tony.

"Set the table?" he suggested.

"Sure thing, Tim."

Ziva walked over to Tim and cupped a hand on his cheek. Tim reached up and pulled it down and then silently ran his fingers over the scars on her wrists from her imprisonment. Ziva shook her head.

"There is no need to think of it any longer, Tim," she whispered. "Let it go as you have been letting other feelings go."

Tim smiled back at her but didn't reply. Ziva leaned in and kissed him on the cheek and then grabbed some utensils and helped Tony set the table. Tim focused on the waffles.

Breakfast was a light affair. They decided not to talk about anything important. They cleaned up together, and then David came to give Tim his therapy for the day. Tim informed him that they would all be leaving soon and expressed his gratitude for all David's help. David promised to get recommendations ready for Tim's future therapy wherever he ended up.

After David left, there was a wait for Dr. Hicks to arrive. Tim asked Tony and Ziva to wait to call DC until after he'd spoken with Dr. Hicks. A lot was riding on what Dr. Hicks could tell him.

...about Carew.