A/N: S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders. The Killers own "When You Were Young."

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

May 26, 1969

When Dally tried to sneak out from under her arm in the morning, it woke Ellie up. He seemed to freeze when she lifted her head. He sank back down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling but didn't make another motion to get out of bed. For a minute she snuggled up to him and just soaked him in, knowing all of this couldn't last.

It was Monday and even though she wanted to, she couldn't stay in Windrixville any longer.

"I should probably go home today," she said, also looking at the ceiling just so she didn't have to see his face.

"Gotta get back to the boyfriend?"

She closed her eyes, hyper-aware of his body warm against hers, and she sat up, careful to keep her back to him. The one thing she couldn't talk about with him was Wade.

After a long moment of silence, she glanced over her shoulder at him. She expected a smug grin, but he just looked at her with a mostly blank expression. He almost looked bored.

"What about you?" she asked.

He sat up and found his cigarettes on the floor near the bed. He lit up with a match. "What about me?"

"Are you coming back?" She turned and faced him completely.

Dally shook out the match and dropped it on the floor. He studied her as he smoked and said, "No."

"Why not?"

"Everything I need, I got here."

She could feel herself starting to get upset. Deep down, her stomach started to hurt at the thought of him not coming home with her. She had nothing figured out. She had no idea where he would stay or what he would do, but after the whole weekend, she realized everything she had been hoping. Going home without him really wasn't an option.

"So what was this?" she asked, motioning toward herself. "What was the point of this?"

Looking at him for answers, she wondered if he was cold enough to pick her up just to see how far she would go with him. She probably lived up to his every expectation.

"I didn't ask you to come along."

"Then why were you there?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes.

No one had to tell her that she acted on behalf of her heart most of the time. It was no different two nights ago. Just the sight of Dally made her heart beat faster, and not having seen him in so long made it that much worse.

He sat there for so long without saying anything that she gave up and got out of bed. Sniffing back tears, she put the dress from his uncle on over her slip and gathered up her prom dress and tossed it on the bed.

It shouldn't have surprised her that he didn't open up and tell her why he was there, but it didn't change the fact that it still hurt. It hurt her, and it made her hurt Wade.

"It's almost been three years, you know? That's a really long time, Dally. Why can't you just talk to me? Why couldn't you have just written me a damn letter?"

Now he looked at her. The way he just sat there silently staring at her forced her to realize the edge she'd been standing on for years. Wade was the only one holding her back from it, and she had pushed him away.

"You could have sent a blank piece of paper and I would have understood."

But he just sat there looking at her. Who was this person? Why wasn't he arguing with her? Dally gave into every opportunity to pick a fight, no matter how small. As far as she was concerned, this was a pretty big deal and was silent.

"You coulda come seen me," he said finally.

Ellie opened her mouth to protest that she had, but she sealed her lips shut.

Dally went on, "But you came and saw Shepard instead."

He stared her down, and she stared right back. He would never believe her that she visited Tim on a whim. There was no way she could convince him that he was really the one she wanted to see, but she had been too scared to ask.

"Didn't think I knew about that?" he asked. "Yeah, I figured that out real quick. I still don't get it - you and Shepard."

And he never would.

"There is no me and Shepard. And I did go to see you."

"Funny, since my name ain't Tim Shepard. Or did you figure that out too late when it was his ugly mug sitting across from you instead of this one?"

His tone kept her from answering for a long while. He wasn't angry. He seemed genuinely interesting in knowing why she went all the way there to see Tim. He even had a half-hearted smirk on his face.

"I wrote you all those letters, Dally. You didn't answer one of them. You wouldn't have seen me if I went to visit you."

His expression changed and he started to answer, but she cut him off.

"Don't lie to me. You wouldn't have."

"So you just saw him instead?"

She felt her throat swell up a little bit, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"Why couldn't you have just written me a letter? Was it really that hard for you?"

Again, she got nothing from him. Just a blank stare that she was not accustomed to from him.

"You don't care, do you?" she snapped. "You used me, and I let you."

"Come here," he said quietly, but she stayed standing at the foot of the bed. "Please?"

Something in his face changed. His eyes were suddenly sympathetic and he stubbed his cigarette out on the headboard and dropped it on the floor.

"Come here, dollface."

She caved, just like she always caved, and sat on the bed in front of him. His fingers moved through her hair, brushing it to one side of her neck. He leaned in and kissed along her jaw, sending shivers down her spine. She suddenly remembered him when they were younger, when she knew she loved him.

"Please come home," she whispered.

All he did was stop, resting his head on her shoulder for a brief second and then walked out of the room.

XXX

Dally fed and watered the horse while Ellie took a shower. He figured it would be a big fight to make her go home, but she seemed ready to be on her way. It wasn't that he wanted her gone; it had actually surprised him how much he liked having her around that weekend. The thing was that he didn't know how to talk to her. Hell, he didn't know how to talk to anybody. That had always been his problem. That was why he didn't want her to stay either.

He tossed his work gloves on the porch and went back into the house. Ellie was already in the kitchen, her fancy dress piled in her arms.

"I can send this dress back with Dally," she was telling Lane.

He shook his head and gave her a smile. "Don't worry about it, honey. It's just been gathering dust in the attic."

"Thank you for everything."

"'Course."

"Ready?" Dally asked.

She slowly nodded and headed out the door.

"Hopefully we'll see you around, Ellie," Lane called after her.

Dally couldn't tell if the look on her face was a smile or a grimace as she closed the door behind her, and he frowned.

"I'm gonna run her back to Tulsa, then I'll be back."

Lane smiled a little. "She what all those Tulsa runs were about lately?"

He shook his head. "What're you getting at?"

"Kid, you ain't exactly subtle about the girls you bring around here, and it don't take a genius to notice she's the only one you ain't booted out come sun-up. That's the one, huh?"

He scoffed a little. The old man always thought he was so damn smart. "Be back in a few hours."

XXX

Ellie was quiet for a long time, her dress still bundled in her arms. Going back to Tulsa meant she was going to have to deal with everything that happened Saturday night. She was going to have to actually face all those things she had forced herself not to think about. The idea of even seeing Wade tied her stomach in knots until she thought she was going to be sick.

"Why won't you come back home?" she blurted.

"How many times are you gonna ask me the same damn question?" he finally responded.

"Until I get a straight answer."

He just shook his head. She should have known she'd never get a direct answer out of him. Maybe years ago, before everything went to hell, she could have annoyed him enough until he finally told her something, but now was different.

"You need to stop the car," she said suddenly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Stop. Pull over. I need to get out."

"Are you sick or something?"

"Just pull over or I'm gonna scream."

That seemed to do the trick. Dally slowed down and pulled the truck over to the shoulder of the country road, kicking up dust and rocks. They had barely stopped moving when Ellie threw her prom dress to the floor of the truck and climbed out.

"What the hell's going on?" Dally muttered, meeting her at the front of the truck.

Ellie had spent at least two years crying over him because she didn't know where he was, and she had stupidly told herself that she wasn't going to cry now that he was standing right in front of her. She couldn't help it anymore.

"How can you act like nothing happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Everything! Johnny, robbing that store, getting shot. Are you just going to ignore that all of that happened?"

His face stiffened. "Sure. You should too."

She wiped at the tears on her cheeks, angrier than she remembered ever being. "No. I'm not ignoring it anymore. Do you remember anything from that night? Because I do. I remember every bit of it."

"There ain't much to remember, dollface. Johnny died. I didn't. That's all there is to it."

"No it isn't," she snapped. "Do you remember pointing that gun in my face? Do you remember calling your friends to come help you out? We were there. We were right there when you pulled out that gun and got yourself shot to hell. Why'd you even call? Did you just want an audience or something? Because you sure as hell got one."

He reached for her, and she put up her hands to stop him.

"I want an answer."

"Don't know what to tell you, sweetheart. I ain't got one."

He closed the distance between them in one step. She tried to shove him away, but he didn't budge.

"You have to come home. Your friends are there."

There was a smirk on his face, a shadow of the old Dally she knew so well. "From my conversation with Darry, it didn't sound like I got too many friends left."

"He didn't know what he was talking about."

"So you're telling me everything's the way it was when I left?"

His smirk turned to a scowl, and part of her was so happy to have that old Dally back, standing right in front of her.

"Yeah," she lied.

"Soda and Steve ain't headed for Vietnam? Nothing like that?"

She sniffed back tears but didn't answer him.

"It's just like Johnny, you know. Everybody leaves, everybody dies. It's just what happens."

It dawned on her that he was afraid.

"But I'm not going anywhere."

He smirked again, and he was that new Dally, the one she didn't know anymore. "Yet."

"How can you stand there and say that? You did the same exact thing to all of us. You left, and I didn't know if you were dead or alive."

"I'm here, ain't I?"

She fought back a sob. "For how long?"

He had a smug look on his face. "Didn't you hear, baby? I'm invincible."

Suddenly, she remembered what Tim told her when she saw him in prison back in the fall. Let's just say, I don't think he's good with the fact that he didn't die that night. Something told her he knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Take me home," she whispered, trying not to cry but the tears fell anyway. She didn't want to hear anything about the things Dally had done to figure out he was so invincible. "Just take me home."

He got back into the truck without a word, and she did the same. She picked her wrinkled dress back up and held onto it like it were a lifeline until they were parked in front of her house.

She had some grand illusions when she was getting ready back in Windrixville. She imagined Dally grabbing his few belongings out of that old farmhouse, tossing them in the truck, and coming back to Tulsa to stay. She imagined him saying he missed her, he was sorry to be gone for so long, he loved her. She imagined so many things, but the only thing she saw when she got out of that truck were the taillights.

XXX

When Darry got home from work, the last person he expected to see was Ellie sitting alone on the front porch steps. They made eye contact, but she didn't say anything when he said hey. She barely acknowledged him when he sat down beside her.

"When did you get back?" he asked.

"Little while ago," she said. "I came over looking for Pony, I guess."

Something told him she was probably pretty happy she didn't find him. Pony was still real sore about prom night and judging by her body language, she was feeling pretty bad too.

"He's working."

"I figured."

He debated whether or not to say anything, wondering if it really was any of his business. He had made it his, though, when Dally came around, and he told him to stay away.

"What happened?"

For the first time she really looked at him, almost gauging him. "I went with him, and he brought me back."

Darry crept carefully around his questions.

"And he didn't stay?"

"No."

"What happens now?"

She shook her head. "What does that even mean?"

"He's not coming back, is he?"

Ellie winced like she received a physical blow, and she gave him a look from the corners of her eyes he knew he should be scared of.

"How come you didn't tell me you saw him?"

With a sigh, he said, "What good would that have done?"

"I don't know. Maybe if you would have told me he was okay and somewhere close, I could have quit worrying about whether or not he was alive."

It never would have made a difference if he would have told her, Darry knew that. For all he was concerned, it would have just lit some fire under her to go to Windrixville to seek him out.

"I didn't think about that, all I know about you and him is that I've watched you fall completely apart over him for no reason and –"

She cut him off, her ponytail swinging with how sharply she turned to face him.

"No reason? You weren't there when Johnny died. You have no idea what it was like to watch him go to pieces like that and have no way to stop him."

"No, but I saw the rest," he shot back. Part of him felt like he was dealing with Pony, trying to talk sense into someone that just wasn't interested. "And all the stupid things he did? I saw what they did to you. He was gone but the rest of us watched you do some pretty dumb things because of him anyway."

Now she wouldn't look at him. Her jaw was set firmly and her lips were pursed.

"I ain't aiming to chase you down when he decides to get himself shot up again, Ellie. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you ran faster than me. Doing all that once is all I'm ever gonna do."

Darry studied his own hands and tried to not remember the way everything felt when Dally nearly got himself killed. Her elbows were propped on her knees and her forehead in her hands. Gently, he set his hand on her shoulder just for her to shrug it off.

"Have you talked to Wade yet?"

The sharpness in her voice was gone when she said, "What makes you think he's ever going to want to talk to me again?"

"You should try anyway. That boy's the best thing that's happened to you in a long time."

"Thanks for noticing how much I screw up."

"I didn't mean it like that, El. You can't deny that Wade is really good for you. I think he makes you happy."

"I'm not going to get him back."

"Because he won't, or because you don't want him to?"

She didn't answer him. Instead, she stood up and walked down to the yard and looked back up at him.

"I don't know what I want anymore."

Turning away, she headed to the gate, but Darry stopped her before she went out.

"Is Dally coming back?"

"I doubt it."

Darry went down to the gate and stopped her from leaving. He shut it and put a hand on her arm.

"It's not your job to make sure he's okay. He's capable of making his own choices about where he goes in life. You don't have to babysit him. I just don't want to see you end up like your mom. You deserve a chance to be happy."

She stepped back so she was out of his grasp and walked out to the sidewalk, slamming the gate behind her. "But Dally doesn't?"

Without another word, she crossed the street and headed toward home. Darry let out a sigh and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched her go. There wasn't much he could say to her, and even less he could say to help her make up her mind. It drove him nuts how much she punished herself. He wondered if she had the ability to let him go, even after all this.

XXX

Ellie walked into her empty living room and sat down on the couch beside the phone. Danny had been excited to see her when she got home earlier, but her mom hadn't said a word. Ellie wasn't even sure she noticed she hadn't been home the last couple of days. She was dreading to see Jimmy because he had most likely known from the get-go she wasn't there if Danny had cried at all. She was going to get an earful, and a lecture from Darry was all she could handle for one day.

She sat with her hand on the phone for a long time before she picked it up. Dally would have been back in Windrixville by now, but she realized she didn't even know the phone number. She considered connecting to the operator to figure it out before finally putting the receiver back down.

She had tossed just about every bit of progress she made in the last two and a half years down the drain in two and a half seconds, all for a boy she didn't know anymore. And now she wasn't sure she even wanted to talk to him again.

XXX

It was well past midnight, but Dally still lay awake staring at the ceiling. Two creased letters were in his hand and the scent of Ellie's perfume still on the pillow beside him.

Even though it was dark, he unfolded the first letter and squinted to read the words he mostly knew by heart. The last line was always the one that got him. I miss you a lot, and you still owe me a night out. You made me promise. She would remember something like that, something from a lifetime ago, back when he made her promise not to make any plans because they had some catching up to do since he had just gotten out of the cooler. Something that was tainted by Windrixville and a fire and Johnny dying. She would still hold on to something like that.

Carefully, he folded the letter and set it aside with the last one, and lay there breathing in her soft scent until he couldn't smell it anymore. It was stupid to go to Tulsa and seek her out. It was even dumber to bring her all the way to his uncle's farm. It was down right idiotic to bring her so close to him and expect to not miss her. Idiotic and impossible.

We're burning down the highway skylines
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young.