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Julia stared at her friend for what seemed like forever before giving any kind of an answer. She was dumbfounded at what she had just read.
Angel, on the other hand, was worried when she didn't say anything. "Jules? Is something wrong? Was it that bad?" It was the first time he'd let anybody read his work and the wait was nerve-wracking.
"That…that really happened? All of it?" she asked.
He nodded his head. "Yeah, for the most part. Everything except for the ending is completely true. I couldn't have made it up if I'd tried."
"All of it…wow. I never thought that could happen to anyone. It was like something out of Days of Our Lives or some show like that. A guy and a girl from opposite sides of town falling in love, even though everyone else wanted them to break up. Did your parents actually go out back in high school or was that for dramatic effect?"
"Really happened. Dated for a month or two when they were eighteen. It's a small world after all."
"It amazes me, though. Buffy was in love with you for years and she dumps all of it - her hopes and dreams for half her life - after being away from you for only a month? There's a fly in that logic ointment somewhere. Maybe her dad got to her and convinced her to go out with that guy and Melissa saw it and took it to mean she wanted it to be over."
With a shake of his head, Angel disagreed. He'd gone over every possible reason for Buffy leaving him, and none of them made any sense. "I don't think so. If that were the case, Buffy wouldn't have been telling anyone who'd listen that it was over between us. It's not like her."
"You're probably right. You know her better than I do." She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "That book, it reads like fiction. You'd never think it really happened. It grips you and doesn't let go. You have an amazing talent, Angel. I couldn't put it down. I could tell it was written from the heart and not the mind."
Angel frowned. "It's what you told me to do. Now it's time for the next step in the healing process."
"What next step?" Julia wanted to know.
"Letting go of the past. I'm going to burn it."
Julia picked up the three hundred pages he had written, holding them against her breast. "You can't do that. I won't let you do it. Forget what I said about taking the next step."
"What are you doing? Give me the pages so I can end this once and for all."
She shook her head. "Not on your life. You poured your heart and soul into this book and now that it's done, you want to destroy all of your hard work? It's not gonna happen. This is too good to end up in a wastebasket."
"What do you expect me to do with it? Keep it? No, I lived it, thank you very much. Every last word is etched into my memory. I have no need for it, now let me burn the pages," Angel said to her.
"I want to keep it."
"Excuse me? Why?"
"Because I want to, okay?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "I want to re-read it. Is that okay with you?"
He relented. "Go right ahead. Just don't mention it to me. I'd kinda like to forget it, if at all possible. Promise me you'll burn it when you're done."
"Deal. What do you say you and I got out to celebrate? It's not every day one of my friends writes his first novel. Come on, it'll be my treat."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
She glanced curiously into his eyes. "You know, Angel, it's been over a year. Don't you think the mourning period is over? It's time to go out there and meet someone."
"I don't feel like going out."
"Well, you certainly aren't going to meet anyone when you're in your room, brooding twenty-four/seven, are you?" she asked pointedly.
"I don't want to meet anyone."
With an aggravated sigh, Julia placed her hand on his shoulder. "You still love her, don't you? Never mind, don't answer that, because I already know the answer to that question. I want you to listen to me. I'm your friend and I care about you too much to see you like this. You and Buffy broke up fifteen months ago. You're going to have to face the world sometime."
"I'm not ready to."
"You're stuck in limbo, do you realize that? Angel, you haven't even been home to see your family since the breakup. You took summer courses and stayed here for winter break. Don't you think you should face your demons back in Sunnydale? Lay the past to rest, so to speak."
"I'm a hell of a lot happier here by myself. Besides, my mom and sister came here to visit me for Christmas. I've seen them," he stated.
"You're miserable, though. Don't pretend I don't see it, 'cause I do. What you need is to get out of here and meet someone who'll take your mind off of her."
"Julia, you don't get it. I've had two girlfriends my entire life, starting from the age of fourteen. I loved them both and gave them everything I possibly could. And do you know where that got me? Nowhere. They both fucked me over. So, pardon me for wanting a little time to myself," Angel exclaimed.
"I'm sorry. I-I won't bring it up again," she apologized.
***
Angel knocked on the open door to Professor Lockley's office. "Professor? You wanted to see me?"
The young, pretty, blonde-haired professor looked up from the papers she was grading. "Yes. Please, come in and have a seat. Would you mind closing the door behind you?"
He did as the professor asked of him. "I got the message you left for me on my answering machine. Is there something I can do for you?" It had seemed strange to Angel that she had called him. He'd never taken a single one of her courses.
"It's more along the lines of the other way around, Angel. I believe I can do something for you," Professor Lockley told him.
"I'm afraid I'm not following."
"A friend of yours is in my Creative Fiction course on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Julia Michalek."
Angel nodded. "Yeah, she's one of my good friends."
"A few weeks ago, she stopped by my office and asked me to read something one of her friends had written. I could never turn down the opportunity to read something fresh and new, so I, of course, agreed." She picked up the stack of pages in the corner of her desk, holding them up for him to see. "Do you recognize it, Angel?"
He saw the title page. FIRE AND ICE by Angel Riches. It was his book. "It's mine, that's the book I wrote. Julia gave it to you?"
"She wanted me to read it, as I said."
"I'm gonna kill her," he muttered.
"When I read it, I was in awe that a nineteen-year old could write something this brilliant. You have a colorful imagination and quite a way with words for someone so young. Which is why I sent it to a friend of mine at Pocket Books. He's a literary agent who is always on the lookout for new talent. Quite often, when I am impressed with a student's work, I'll send it to him. I certainly hope you don't mind that I have let him read it."
Angel's jaw dropped. "You sent him my story?" 'That story is so personal and private…now people I don't even know are reading it. They're reading my thoughts and feelings, reading about my love for Buffy.'
"Like I said before, I hope you don't mind. You are a very talented writer, which I'm sure is why you were accepted here at Emerson. A great number of graduates have gone on to become award-winning authors. That being the case, I figured you wouldn't mind. Perhaps that was your goal all along."
"It is. One of my dreams has always been to be a writer. And no, I don't mind. It's just a little disconcerting, that's all."
Professor Lockley smiled. "I don't doubt it. Anyway, I received a call from him last night. He's interested in publishing your book, Angel."
"What?" Angel wasn't sure if he'd heard correctly.
"He wants to publish it. His name is Daniel Markins." She handed him a business card. "This is his phone number. Daniel wants you to call him and set up a meeting so you can go over the specifics of the publication."
"I…I'm speechless, Professor Lockley."
"This type of thing doesn't happen every day. You're one of the few, one of the lucky. Angel, this might very well be it. You are truly on your way."
'A published author by nineteen years old,' he thought. 'If only I could tell Buffy. She'd be so proud that I achieved my goal. She really did make my dreams come true. Except for one. I can't share it with her.'
***