November 2008
It had been almost four months since Marisol´s grandmother Clara had passed away. Marisol still had difficulties getting passed her death. She was getting better but it was going very slowly. Both of them knew that it took time, but it took even more time if you were still somehow resisting the grief. That was something Marisol had done for almost two months. Horatio knew that she had lost 4 grand-parents in 5 years and that she was still struggling with all their deaths.
No matter how many years have passed it still hard for her to talk about her grand-parents. It was even still hard for her to talk about her great-grandparents who had died a long time ago, between 1991 and 1998. She probably had never really grieved their deaths, something her sister Isabella had assumed some time ago. She was presumably right and that meant the hard end would probably come some day and hit her full force.
To help her heal at least a little bit, he had organized for them to go away over the weekend to just have some time alone as a couple and to give them time to talk. Because Isabella had three children, Sophia, Carlos and Maria and Dolores also had three children Victoria, Carmen and Antonio they could not leave the kids there.
Calleigh and Eric had four children, Rose, Chloé, Grace and Pavel and had even less space. The only other option they had was Ray, who himself had three children, Raymond jr., Matthew and little Chloe. Ray and Yelina had no problem with having the children over and so it was settled. Now he just had to break the news to his wife.
When he returned home in the evening he arrived at the same time she did and she was surprised that the children were not with him."Sweetheart I will explain everything inside. I promise."
When they were seated in the living-room he explained everything to her. "Why Horatio?" He took her hand in his and looked at her. "You have lived through so much during the past months and it has been a long time since we had time to ourselves. Just the two of us, Marisol. Please sweetheart. We need this. You need this." He was begging her to understand that she needed it and that it would be good for both of them. She got up and started walking up and down in the living-room. "Where are we going Horatio?" He looked at her and could read her unanswered question.
"The girls will be with Ray and we are going to a secluded beach house. It will be secluded and only Ray and Yelina know where to find us." He walked up to her and pulled her into his arms. "You have nothing to worry about. You will be safe." She knew that Horatio meant that emotionally speaking but also physically. He knew that she had also tried very hard to make this whole thing easier on their daughters because they had loved their great-grandmother Clare very much and she hardly thought about herself. Instead she had thought about her mother, their daughters and about her family.
"I will go with you, but I want you to promise me that there will be no dead people and not tragedy." He pushed her back a little and looked directly into her eyes. "Sweetheart I promise you that there will be no dead people and no tragedy. We will enjoy our time together and try to relax. We will return on Sunday evening, so we have three nights and three days. Our things are already in my car. Are you ready?" she just nodded and he led her to the car, grabbing her purse and jacket on the way out.
During the drive to the beach house he had rented she was quiet and after a while she drifted off to sleep. He knew that he had to find out if his and Isabella´s suspicion, that the grief she had buried for ten to 18 years and returned, because she had never grieved. Yes it was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, but he also wanted to know who her great-grandparents were, as she had never really talked about them. At the beach house he had, someone set up a nice dinner for the two of them, something she did not know about.
When they arrived he carefully woke her up. They brought their things into the house. "It is beautiful Horatio." "I am glad you like it. You deserve it." They packed their things away and then walked back to the living-room. Horatio led her to the porch. "Where are we going?" "It is a surprise." She saw it a minute later when they walked to the beach. "Horatio, how did you do that?" "I organized it. I wanted us to have a date with a nice romantic dinner together. We haven´t had that in a long time, and we need." He led her to the table, helped her to her chair and sat down himself and then they ate their dinner.
They were sitting on the recliner on the porch some time later with Marisol snuggled into Horatio´s side, and both of them covered with a blanket."Marisol there are things we never talk about with each other." She looked up at him, "like what?" He ran his hands up and down her back seeing her unsure and insecure look. There it was again her insecurity. "Things, that happened in our past. Like my parents, my grand-parents, your great-grandparents, my time in New York." "What are you saying Horatio?" he could hear fear in her voice and some of it was also written across her face."
"Sweetheart, we have been married for six years, we have three beautiful daughters, and we survived so much together but we hardly talked about each other´s past. You know who my parents were. You know almost everything there is to say about them. Well you do not know much about my time in New York or about my grand-parents, but I sometimes have the feeling, that you are trying to deny your past and the things that happened. Sweetheart I can feel it in your body sometimes. I can sometimes literally feel the emotions and feelings you are trying to deny and ignore."
She looked at him fearful and got up from the recliner. "Horatio those things were a long time ago and there is no purpose in bringing them up again. I buried my great-grandparents and lived past it. It is over." He knew she was lying to herself and he could see it in her eyes. He could see the pain, the grief, the fear and the hurt in her eyes and knew that she did not want to talk about it. She is scared of the feelings that are going to come up when she talks about these things.
"It cannot hurt to talk about it." "Are you crazy?" she all but shouted. She was pacing the porch back and forth and he knew that she was somehow relieving the emotions she had buried deep down for a very long time. When she stopped at the stairs leading to the beach with her arms wrapped around herself and her back to him he knew that he had to act. He stood up and walked to her and stopped right behind her. "Marisol" he said in his softest and most gentle voice. "Please talk to me." "I cannot, Horatio. Please." When she was about to take a step down the stairs leading to the beach, he gently but purposefully grabbed her arms and held her back and turned her around to face him.
He looked deep into her eyes, and he could see fear, pain, hurt, insecurity and grief screaming at him. He could easily see how deep those emotions were running and she was still trying to put on a straight face and was still trying to ignore everything. "Please do not run and hide from, me." She looked at him pleading to let her go. "Horatio this is useless. Drop it." She said in a pretty agitated voice.
He wrapped his second arm around her to keep her from escaping. He immediately could see the change in her face when he wrapped his arm around her. With a little force he led her back to the recliner and pulled her down with him. She was still fighting him, but after he moved his hands up and down her back a while she slowly relaxed under his hands.
After a few minutes she started talking. "What do you want me to say Horatio?" "What do you want to say sweetheart?" he waited a minutes for her to answer. "I do not want to talk about it at all. I just want to relax with you." He had expected her to resist his attempts but he had not really expected her to block everything of that bad. He kissed her head. "Marisol I just want to help you. It is clear that you have emotions deep inside, which you have never dealt with. I can feel it in your body right now that you are battling these emotions at the moment. Please sweetheart let me help you."