Chapter 37: Nott Going to be Fine

Harry had tucked himself away rather far from prying eyes. He was seated at the edge of the Black Lake. His knees were drawn to his chest and his hands were covering his paling face. Ron and Draco came up on either side of him. They sat next to him in silence before Harry choked out a sob, "Get away from me."

"Harry," Ron began, but Harry told him to be quiet.

Draco had let out several agitated sighs as if his pouting would somehow get Harry to quit his own, but Harry had frowned and refused to look at either of them. Ron and Draco glanced over Harry's buried head and shook their own in glumness. They sat there quietly for some time again.

When Prof. McGonagall made herself present she told the two other boys to return to the school. She needed a word with Harry and Harry alone. He'd done it this time. The woman was frowning, but there was a hint of sorrow in her old eyes. "Mr. Potter?"

"Did I kill him?" Harry asked feeling the deplorable guilt consume him.

"Quite injured, but not dead, Mr. Potter," the woman asked. "What happened exactly?"

Harry rubbed at the corners of his eyes and shivered. "He grabbed me. I warned him, but he grabbed me. I got scared, Professor."

Prof. McGonagall watched him get slowly to his feet and his legs were shaking. His first thought had been that he was a murderer. McGonagall looked on him as if he were some meek and timid first year who'd accidently blown their cup to pieces rather than transfiguring it into a hat. She placed a hand on his shoulder and ran her eyes over his tear streaked face.

Now, at least he knew that Ainsley's life and blood were not on his hands. There was a bitterness to this victory and Harry did not want any part in it. He tried to gage the woman's gaze on him and saw that she was honestly and truly not angry. "It'll be alright, Mr. Potter. I think this will be further discussed with the Headmaster. Follow me."

When they made their way back to the castle, Harry did not see anyone he was well acquainted with. His eyes remained, for the most part, on the ground and his shoes. When they entered the building, Ron and Draco were standing in the Entrance Hall with differed expressions. Harry gave them a shake of the head to announce his dejection. Their eyes followed him out of the entrance hall where he continued to follow behind McGonagall to the Headmaster's office. She offered the statue a password; "Candy Puffs". Harry was amused, but not enough to snicker. They rose with the spiral stairs to the doors which were opened already and inside the room was Severus Snape talking to Albus Dumbledore.

"Oh, Harry, take a seat my boy. Lemon Drop?" Harry frowned at the words 'my boy'. Never had it been such venom to his ears. He did take a seat beside the Potions Master and then stared at the arm of the chair. Dumbledore remained seated and said, "Poppy will be joining us in a moment." His eyes lingered on Harry's downturned face, but he got no response from the young man and said, "Would you mind discussing what happened, Harry?"

He began his tale with this; "I've never gotten along with Prof. Ainsley." From there he expressed his fears and disturbances that all surrounded the man. It would not do to start with the recent offence on the man's part. There was more history to divulge that would better apprise the state of affairs. The tea time incident, the taking him over summer, and his stalking him through the school were just three of the major points. It hardly mattered that the man gave them a portkey. That had been Dumbelodre's orders—if not for that who knew where Harry would be. If Harry had not ran away he could have still been trapped in the man's flat. Ainsley was still a menace. Harry still felt threatened. "If someone grabs me… I will fight them," Harry ended his spiel brazenly. "I, however, did not mean to bring so much harm."

"It was a severing charm, yes, but most people use it for cutting things. Not people. You're a strong wizard and it is important to remember this. If you're letting your rampant emotions control your magic then people are more likely to get hurt," Dumbledore said. There was still a curious twinkle in the man's eye. Harry felt sick.

The fire burst to life in the lively effects of floo travel and Pomfrey emerged from the hearth. "Sorry, I was making sure everything was attended to."

"That's fine, Poppy. Is he stable?"

Pomfrey let out a long breath and stated, "He will make it, but he won't be able to teach for several days."

Harry's face colored as he noticed Pomfrey look at him. Still, Harry had to wonder why Snape was there. McGonagall was still there as well and they were all watching him like he was a criminal or something. Harry hung his head in blossoming shame once more.

Then, Dumbledore acknowledged the man to his left and said, "Severus, are you still interested in Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

Snape gave a curt bow of his head.

"I would like you to work with Harry on controlling his magic. Teach him to stay calm under pressure and teach him guarding spells." Snape glanced sidewise at him and nodded at Harry. Harry watched him from the corner of his eyes, but remained focused on Dumbledore. "Harry, are you willing to take private lessons with Severus?"

"Sure," Harry whispered. He had not choice in the matter so he kept his thoughts to himself. He had found that he could tolerate the man as of recent which made the situation slightly more unobjectionable.

There was a silence and McGonagall cleared her throat. "If you are done with Mr. Potter, then I shall escort him back to the Gryffindor Tower. Is that acceptable, Mr. Potter?"

As if it were even up to him, Harry sighed and got up from his seat. Before he was out of the office doors Dumbledore said that Snape would have a schedule worked out for him and their tutoring soon. Harry gave a contrived smile and left through the doors with the head of his house.

Inside the Common room he ignored the eyes of all of his fellow Gryffindors and hurried into his dorm. He had dodged punishment so far, but what would happen if something did happen to Ainsley? He decided he would visit the man in the Hospital Wing and beg forgiveness. Maybe he'd shed a tear or two for him. Harry curled up under the cover while still dressed in full robes and with his shoes on as well. He did not hear any of his friends coming into the room, because they had remained down in the common room; where their time was lost to rumors about Ainsley's fall were spreading. He was, thankfully, not even part of half of them.

The following Morning at Breakfast Harry got to hear the two most popular ideas—Death Eaters were invading or Werewolves were invading. The teachers had to quell the rioting and fear. Some girl had already passed out in a panic. Harry only heard one person mention his name and it was some Ravenclaw Prude who said; "Harry Potter is bad luck. He probably got hexed in his stead."

That was where the Harry Potter curse began to circulate. It was akin to Murphy's Law; anything that can go wrong will go wrong. The Harry Potter curse added this fact—it is all Harry Potter's fault.

Harry had leered into his goblet of pumpkin juice for a long time after hearing that one. Ron and Neville stayed at his side through the entirety of the day. It was Saturday—which was a gift and a curse. There were no classes to take speculation off of the event. Though, it meant Harry could sneak off to hide for the entire day. No one said anything to his face, but they apparently already got the memo that if it was bad then it was his fault. Harry told his friends that he wanted to go for a walk and get away from the crowd. His friends did not know if he wanted company or not. When they reluctantly stood with him and followed behind, he said nothing and kept an ample amount of distance between themselves and Harry.

Harry decided he should go made his amends to the teacher he'd harmed. At least none of the rumors were about how he had attacked. It would be a mess to clean for sure if people began to think that Golden Boy Harry Potter was allowed to get away with attacking a teacher when they weren't even allowed to duel one another. The infirmary was sparse of occupants to Harry's relief. When Ron and Neville noticed Harry entering they remained in the corridor. Madam Pomfrey had been shocked to see Harry entering. Her first instinct was to rush over and ask; "Are you alright, Dear?"

"I was wondering if I could… see Prof. Ainsley."

Madam Pomfrey knew there was not a malevolent bone in Harry Potter's body and smiled warmly at him for his concern. She could only wish that she had seen what had transpired so that she could have put a stop to it herself so the boy did not have to walk around with the heaviness of guilt that was not entirely his own. Ainsley had done something—Harry would not lash out otherwise. She pointed him toward the curtains in the back corner of the room. Harry reluctantly made his way over and disappeared behind those curtains.

Lying in bed with a look of peace was Ainsley. Harry was a little upset by this expression, but then scolded himself. Would he have really found himself content to see his face twisted in pain? Harry thought not and sat in a chair beside the bed. There was nothing he could think to do but apologized to the sleeping man. He hoped he was only sleeping. He mumbled the words, "Sorry" as quietly as possible so that he would not chance waking him if he were simply asleep and not comatose. Harry observed his face a little longer and got up from the chair.

Ω

It had been a good thing it was a weekend since Ainsley would have been unable to teach. Harry had been promised a speedy recovery. However, on Monday morning as all the students were entering to Great Hall there was something amiss. Harry noticed the saddened expression on all of the teacher's faces save for the likes of Snape who just looked irritable. Dumbledore was there and waiting patiently. The Prefects had called on them to all go to breakfast—it had hardly been a requirement before. Harry sat at the far end of the table and faced the Slytherin table. All weekend long he'd not seen Theo. His eyes scanned over the table and the boy was most certainly there next to Draco Malfoy. Harry gave a weak smile and got a wink in return. Harry blushed and was gratified.

Once everyone was inside and seated Dumbledore rose to his feet and in a very serene tone said; "I have an unfortunate announcement to make this morning. It has came to us this morning from Madam Pomfrey that Prof. Ainsley passed away last night."

Harry saw heads turn, felt the eyes probing, and heard the whispered begin. Luckily, Dumbledore silenced them and told them this was a time for silenced and all the mutterings vanished just as quickly as they'd started. Ainsley was dead. Harry had killed him. Had he been lied to? Except, why tell everyone? No, something was wrong. Harry felt his throat dry and tightened. He was crying. Was he certain he hadn't caused his death? All those incriminating eyes and voices condemning him as a monster. His heart was pounding violently in his chest and Harry wanted to flee, but there were too many people around and he would be caught instantly. He fidgeted in his seat and felt Ron's hand on his back for reassurance, but that didn't help. How had he died? Pomfrey would not assume he'd get better if he wasn't really going to. Or would she? He shook and placed his arms on the table and hid his face in the hole it left. Everyone was probably staring again.

Then there was shuffling. They'd been dismissed, but Harry could not begin to find the courage or strength to move. Ron's hand never left his back even when the sound of marching feet had dissipated. It wasn't until a little later that he heard McGonagall dismiss Ron as well. Harry wasn't going to leave. He'd sit there forever if it was allowed. McGonagall sat down beside him, which was surprising and her hand rested on his shoulder for a second time in the course of a few days. "Mr. Potter, it was not your fault."

"How could it not be my fault? I was the last person to attack him. Pomfrey said he'd be better in a few days. Maybe he'd miss a day of classes, but she promised he'd get better. Did I kill him or not!" His head snapped up and he stared into her mildly strict eyes.

"You did not, Harry."

Harry shivered and felt like this was a truth he should permit. He nodded and looked away again and stared at the empty Great Hall. There were few teachers at the head table speaking to Dumbledore, but soon the Headmaster was making his way to Harry. Harry felt his mood fall flat and now he could feel nothing at all. He was just a presence. Everything that could go wrong would go wrong as long as Harry Potter was around.

"Harry, my boy," Dumbledore began and once again Harry began to tear up, but this time he was not overcome by sobs. He let the tears roll passively over his paled cheeks. "You understand that this was not your doing do you not?"

Harry nodded with a glance at McGonagall to implicate where the idea had come from. She sat there silently and still. "If I may, Professor, what happened?"

"I think that is best left unsaid Mr. Potter."

Harry frowned and found his temper flaring. "I think I have the right to know."

Dumbledore's eyes shone down on him in such an intimidating manner that Harry pursed his lips even though it left him unsatisfied. "You may take the day off from Classes if you wish, Harry. I will encourage you to attend them however so that you are not left alone. Your mind may start to wonder and you may feel worse off."

Harry agreed to go to class, but did not guarantee that he would pay attention or work; McGonagall seemed accepting of this fact as did the Headmaster. He got up and stalked from the Great Hall. Why they were still having classes at all was beyond him.