It's Monday, and you know what that means! Well, it means my break is officially over at midnight, sadness...

But we shall move on. Enjoy the Rules, remember to review. If you have suggestions, send them in a PM!

"Kyle, you have clam chowder on your nose."

Lt. Sorren sat up and rubbed his nose. O'Shea's snickers caused him to pause. "Damn it, Grant, not funny!"

O'Shea grinned. "Was too!"

Billings elbowed the Navigator. "Knock it off. Or do you not remember he outranks you?"

"I hate it when you use that against me," O'Shea grumbled.

"Maybe we should set up some Rules for you two," West said as she pulled out her PADD. "But first, we have the ship-wide edition."

721. *Chekov is not "Russian awesomeness in a can".

722. You are not allowed to send someone to Sickbay because they "have a case of the Mondays".

723. You are not allowed to turn the warp generator into a rock climbing wall.

724. Stop asking the Catian officers if they have a neighbor called Totoro.

725a. *Seriously people, do not call Mr. Spock a "green-blooded hobgoblin". You'd be asking for a nerve pinch.

725b. *Same goes with calling other Vulcans a "green-blooded hobgoblin".

725c. *And Romulans.

726a. Dr. McCoy is the only exception to Rule #725a-725c.

726b. Damn right I am!

727. Stop challenging Lt. Arax to three-legged races. He will always win.

728. There is no such thing as "Space Marines". At least the kind you are describing.

729. *Stop playing Afternoons in Utopia and/or Fantastic Dream over the ship-wide speakers. Mr. Spock is still trying to figure them out.

730. Stop calling Chekov "Piglet".

731. You are not allowed to play "Minnie the Moocher" over the ship's speakers just so you can slink around the corridors.

732. Stop yelling "Get'er done!"

733. Stop calling Lt. George Weston "Michael". It's getting on his nerves.

734. Enough with the chain letters already!

735. Do not yell/say/whisper "Falcon Punch" whenever Captain Kirk takes someone out with a right hook.

736. Mr. Scott will not build you a "dual portal gun". He's not exactly sure what it is, and is pretty sure it breaks several laws of physics.

737. Dr. McCoy does not have a bird named Archimedes.

738. *Stop asking Lt. Uhura to page Mike Hunt on the ship's intercom. She is going to stun the next person to ask her that.

739a. *Whoever you are, stop stealing Lt. Uhura's red uniform dresses and Mr. Scott's red uniform shirts and replacing them with yellow ones. Just because they (and you) are wearing red does not mean they (and/or you) have a higher chance of getting killed (besides, Mr. Scott already died once).

739b. NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE I TELL YOU!

740. *In regards to Rule #739, please stop programming the Computer to replicate target signs on the back of red uniform shirts/dresses. Security really doesn't appreciate it. Nor does Engineering.

"Nice!" Billings said as they finished reading the Rules.

Sorren reached down and pulled out his own PADD. "That's strange, I never got the notification…"

"But you always get it," West said.

"Yeah, everyone gets it!" O'Shea added.

"But I didn't," Sorren said. "It's not in my inbox."

"Weird," Billings muttered.

Three tables away, they failed to notice an intense discussion underway.

"This messager address shouldn't be here!"

"How is it you only noticed now?"

"It was late last night when I put the thing together! But now that I'm looking at them, there is no one on this ship or who was on this ship who has this address."

"An outsider has the Rules?"

"Yeah..."

Rule #721 is from a story by Darkwood Princess titled From TOS with Love. I recommend you go check it out. Rule #725a-c is from Addonex, #729 is from Werepanther33, #738 is from NorthStar51, and Rules #739a and #740 are from Jedi Ani Unduli. Thank you!