Soul Society - Captain's Meeting

Byakuya's POV

"It has come to my attention that Orihime Inoue, and the one called Raven are in Hueco Mundo. With the evidence that was first presented to us, it would seem that they went willingly. However, Shinigami Rukia Kuchiki and Lieutenant Renji Abarai have discovered new evidence. With the word of Substitute Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki and the Ryoka Sephiroth and Sesshomaru, that Raven left a letter that mentions they were taken. However most of this evidence was destroyed." Captain Commander said. "Sixth Squad Captain Kuchiki, do you have any information that would help bring light to this matter?"

I stepped forward. The night before Raven's trip to the Human World, she found me in the gardens during one of my late night walks.

{Flashback}

"Hey Byakuya!" Raven called before she tripped over a rock and fell to the ground. "Ow."

"What is it? You are going to the World of the Living tomorrow, you need your rest." I chastised her while offering her a hand to help her up. She grabbed mine and began hoisting herself off the ground.

"I can sleep when I am dead." She giggled as she got up. I glared at her for saying such a ridiculous thing. She pointed at me and frowned. "Hey don't look at me like that. You are technically dead, so being dead isn't that bad. So anyway. Um, there is something I need to tell you. Er, depending on how many attacks Ichigo has to defend off...I may not be coming back. Aizen wants Orihime as bait and well I want to go with her. Though they are technically 'evil', I want to see the Espada before they are defeated and cleansed. So can I please go? PLEASE!"

"You want my permission to travel to Hueco Mundo, the land of the Hollow, to visit our known enemy? Have you COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND!" I yelled.

"You gotta have one to lose one." She argued. "Look, Orihime will need someone to have her back. If you send Shinigami to protect her, they are going to die, if you send me I won't die and you have someone on the inside. Like a awesome spy! Besides I wasn't going to leave Seretei totally empty handed. I go, you have an excuse to protect your sister. Like Rukia is going to sit by and let Ichigo go head long into enemy territory alone, and neither is Renji for that matter. If you are going after me...you can still save face, not having to admit that you totally have her back, and keep Rukia safe, while I use my good ol' talent for causing trouble to weaken and demoralize the Espada. Plus, when I leave, I just so happened to copy down a few notes for specific people to hand out that has hints to what to expect. I saw it in a movie once, this guy left instructions for his friends to follow and erased his own memory so the bad guys couldn't track them...and it worked. Though I am not erasing my memory.

Nothing like, oh attack here, this is an Achilles Heel, but stuff like watch out for. While playing games you are allowed a strategy guide, but I am not going so far to leave the cheat codes. That way, you have some info and when Aizen asks me about divulging information, I can truthfully say I didn't say anything about his little Espada. Like he will be smart enough to ask: "Did you in any way, shape, or form give out any beneficial information to any of the Shinigami?" Psht, he is too overconfident for that. Besides, it is better for me to go, that way Sesshomaru and Sephiroth can go to Las Noches."

"Even if I locked you in the Maggot's Nest to prevent your departure, you would eventually find your way out there regardless." I sighed.

{End Flashback}

"She wasn't specific on the details, but she did leave notes for certain Captains." I informed Captain Commander. "She anticipated the events and left me the responsibility of delivering them."

After opening the letters, Captain Kenpachi was the first to break the silence. "What is this nonsense?"

Hueco Mundo

Raven's POV

It was 'morning' and was smiling intently, intent with evil that is. Aizen asked me about my abilities, but I did leave my secret one out of the conversation. He never did ask how evil I was. By the gods, I was going to prove it. My first victims, the ex-Shinigami traitors, Aizen, Tosen, and Gin. Since I spent all night thinking of ways to do this and gathering information. Aizen was going to be first on my list since he denied me my coffee, that is never a good thing to do. Luckily I had my chocolate covered espresso beans Ukitake gave me, though I still have no idea how he had them. Deciding it was my best interest to prank Gin first, who had a sense of humor, before moving on to more dangerous targets, I hit his room first.

Upon reaching his room, I carefully opened the door and silently closed it and looked around for something I could do to him. He had a good sense of humor, but most of the evil I could use against him was not around. So I decided to snoop. First thing I came across, a closet. It stuck me as odd that they would keep spare clothing but I suppose though they were dead and didn't sweat, they did still need the clean feeling. Opening up the closet, I blushed and quickly closed the doors, and heard a voice behind me.

"So what'cha doin'?" Gin said with a 'rape face' on. That just added to the creepy.

I had two options, fake idiocy, or since he had a suspicious closet, get him in on this. Option two seemed like a good idea. "I was searching for ways to prank the Arrancar. More specifically the Espada and Aizen and Tosen and I was going to prank you, but I am willing to grant ye diplomatic immunity. You made me blush, that my friend is the hardest thing someone can do to me, save for three people, but that is for an entirely different reason. Your mission, if you choose to accept, to keep all of them busy while I get my task done. Rat me out, and I will extend my evil your way."

Gin looked at me and laughed. "I have no idea how this will work for ya, if you believe tha' the Arrancar won't kill ya' when they find out ya did it. However, ya keep that closet secret and I will jus' pretend I never saw ya. I find Hueco Mundo dull. Ya seem ta be able to make this intrestin' "

"Bless you." I said. "So, erm, that closet..."

"Out." He snapped. "Before ya leave, who was next on ya list?"

"Tosen. Then as the day progresses, you will find how evil I can be." I winked. "So your sword. I have been dying to know how far it extends?"

"As far as I want it to. An' if you don't leave, I will run ya through with my zanpaktou." He said, smiling wider.

"Oh and here I thought that little event was for Matsumoto only, but hey hunny. I have had three years of frustration pent up...pulse is optional at this point." I shot back, my perverse smile obvious. "I mean technically everyone is dead, other than Orihime and myself, and Chizuru would kill me if I got to Orihime and by now, doing it myself wouldn't dent the frustration."

Gin actually opened his eyes at me and blinked. "My, my, aren't ya a fun one?"

"Perverse, evil, impish, and willing to act out your certain grudges, if ya have any?" I bowing before walking past him. "Er, keep everyone busy for a few hours, Shinigami, Espada, and Fraccion. Anyway, if you need anymore fun in your day, I will be around."

"Be seein' ya soon." Gin said, while smiling. "Bye. Bye."

After the incident with Gin, I just laughed just like Kenpachi did when he was fighting Ichigo for the first time as I set my plans for Tosen in motion. An hour later I was thanking all the gods on the separate worlds for giving demonic like strength. I had successfully moved his entire room around and I was careful not to use my Aura, that way if they could trace me, he wouldn't know I did this. With my work finished I left the room and sprinted my way toward the Meeting Hall. As I got there they had just started.

"What is that doing here?" Barrigan asked.

"Well you wanted to make sure I didn't leave, well I thought me appearing before all of you would suffice and well now that I see you are all busy...I will find another place to practice." I said instantly advancing in the other direction. When the door closed, I smiled. That meeting would take a few hours. I had plenty of time. So in a mad dash, I headed to Szayel's little laboratory, after I found my bag that I had Orihime pack. While I didn't stuff myself in there, I had a few minor and harmless objects added instead.

In Szayel Aporro Granz's lab, I noticed that there were a few people inside working. I also knew that Aizen had cameras all over the place. I floated around and avoided the silly lab rats and helpers while I took some bubble gum, popped it in my mouth and went to work. When the coast was clear to pop down, I grabbed some vials and began mixing up flavor packets for water in the vials and making sure the colors were right before putting on gloves and replacing the vials. When I had all the caustic stuff, I stashed them carefully in an alcove behind one of the cameras. I was about to leave before I heard a minion talking about a new sleep agent they were making for use on the Shinigami invaders. Smiling waited until they showed me where it was stashed and knocked them out before grabbing me some.

Next prank was on Yammy Llargo. While I could never hope to defeat him on his size, I had the new chemical for my disposal. So baking was in order. I ran into Gin and asked where the kitchen was, if there was one, and what it had stocked. For some reason they had simple baking ingrediants, and I was able to make cookies. Aizen had one installed and had low ranked Hollow go to the Human World and shop for food stuffs for the he and the others, with help from Szayel, they managed to convert the food stuffs into food for the Arrancar and Shinigami to eat. Perfect. When I went to the kitchen I began baking chocolate chip cookies for Yammy. When they were finished I went and had them delivered to them by some poor Hollow. I was about to leave before I saw another little Hollow begin making tea. Upon asking it was for Aizen and the Espada. I watched it finish making tea and begin to put away the tea leaves. As it was busy I opened a small vial of ink and sniffed the tea, recognizing it as Earl Grey before pouring the vial into the pot.

Even after those two pranks were accomplished, the meeting was not over. Sighing, I had to rearrange my order of who was going to get pranked. Well since Las Noches had bathrooms and running water, I had a funny feeling the Espada had baths, or showers. Either way, I was not going to miss this chance to act out another prank. Making my way down the hall, I entered the first room I came to. I looked around and frowned. Everything was white, and boring. Sneaking around, and hoping that whomever this room belonged to didn't have Fraccion. However when opening the dresser, I found I was in none other than Tier Harribel's room. Swallowing hard, I grabbed a spare uniform and dashed out. I then went around the corner and found another room, this one belonged to Coyote Starrk. Lilynette Gingerbuck was already inside and saw me before I saw her.

As I was tackled to the floor I used my Aura to create a shield around me and expanded it to deflect whatever hit me as I checked for blood. I levitated up in the air to get out of her reach when I felt her bounce against my shield. "Hey. I am not here to hurt you."

"You are not supposed to be here!" She said while charging up a Cero.

"Whoa! Lily, I am not going to hurt you or Starrk. I am actually here to play a game!" I defended myself and lowered my shield but replaced it with the invisible Barrier spell in case she didn't belive me. "I am bored...and Aizen knows I am not going to run off."

"I thought you were going to help that Human girl?" She asked me.

"Oh Orihime will be fine, give or take how long it takes Aizen to drink his tea." I said giggling.

"Why?" She asked again.

"Oh his teeth are going to be stained black for a while." I informed her before she lept at me.

"Are you crazy! Aizen is going to punish all of us!" She shrieked.

"Hold, ye horses little wolf. He is not going to punish all of you, just me. When he asks, I am going to tell him it was all me. Nobody else was involved. However, if you don't mind me asking. Could you do me a favor? Since you look bored out of your mind, I will offer the invitation of my game to you. No Arrancar will be hurt I assure you." I said, making sure to keep out of her reach.

"Fun?" She blinked up at me for a moment. "On one condition. If I help you and you are found out-"

"I was on my own and you were trying to stop me." I smiled. Apparently that was enough to convince the child-like Espada to join my game.

"What do I have to do?" She asked.

"Well, take these clothes and tie-dye them. I will show you how and you can finish it. I mean seriously, who doesn't like arts and crafts? Don't answer that. Secondly, I want you to gorilla glue him to his chair. It will not hurt him and he can stay asleep for as long as he wants and if he wants to get up, then come see me and I will un-stick him for you." I told her with a Cheshire cat grin. "That is as far as your part goes. The less you know about this, the better. You are half of Starrk after all missy."

She pouted for a moment but she understood where I was coming from. "You are afraid of what I know he knows. Well...When you finish. Could you come back and play some more?"

"Yes, I would like that very much. I can show you a bunch of human games that I played when I was a kid." I smiled while ruffling her hair.

She swatted my hand away. "Do that again and you will regret it."

I wished her the best of luck and headed down the corridors. The next room I found was Zommari Rureau's mediation room. I reached into my bag and brought out on of my favorite incense, Love Potion. It was extremely girly smelling, and this would be my payback for him injuring my Byakuya with his stupid 'Love' attack. That evil pink, flower looking, pansy, pumpkin thing! I thought as I went around the room and began to light said incense and then I took out a small vial of, the same smell, scented oil. I poured a little on the floor and then I soaked a small cloth in the rest of it and booby trapped the door so that he would step in and be hit with the rag in the face. When the trap was set, I left the room to find the next victim of my evil.

Walking down the hallway I could hear some commotion coming from farther down the hall. I rushed down to find Ulquiorra shoving Nnoitra up against the wall. They were probably having that argument over Orihime. However, as I got closer I could hear my name mentioned. Ulquiorra saw me but did not release Nnoitra. I walked up to them, not wanting to miss this opportunity, and smiled up at Nnoitra.

"So, for all that you are boasting about guy power, a man who is half your height, give or take has you pinned. Now I am not shrink but that smile on your face suggests you are the mailbox in whatever relationship you are currently in, and if I would have to guess, Szayel is the postman." I said cackling at the fact they obviously didn't get my joke. "Out manned by someone half your height. Silly man. Oh before I forget, how many channels does that satellite dish get? It is Saturday night and I am wanting to see what is on Cinnemax. Er well, Skin-I-max." Though it was hilarious to me, neither of them got the whole joke. I was losing my touch in the humor department, or I just had to be able to crack jokes in terms they would understand.

River: I am sorry, I couldn't resist the Szayel being the postman...I mean he is so flamboyant...Anyway. Part two is next. I had to split the chapter, it would have been too long otherwise.

As for what kinda hints Raven left? Oh you are going to wait on that...

Oh and I don't own in any way shape or form, Inuyasha, Bleach, or Final Fantasy 7 or affiliates. This is for my own amusement.