Scene 37
I told myself there is no way that rumor is true. There is no way Rachel would be seen in public with St. Jackass much less go to freaking prom with him. There has to be some mistake. Just another rumor like the one about Quinn and Sam. She would never forgive Jesse. He made a freaking omelet on her head. So I feel like I just got hit by a truck when she tells me it's true. Sure she tried to make it sound like he's just tagging along on their real fun prom on a budget thing, but there would be no reason for Jesse to attend prom at McKinley High unless he was going with Rachel!
Its crap, how can she just forgive him? How can she just trust him again after everything he did to her? He lied about her mom, he freaking lied about why he was dating her, and he was just using her. So when she tells me that she's dying inside about Quinn and me it really hits me. I did the same thing I'm angry at her about. I forgave Quinn after she lied to me. After she was just using me to be her baby daddy and I forgave her and dated her again. What if Rachel dates Jesse again? No, this can't be happening. She's not supposed to get over me. She's supposed to wait until I figure all this crap out for myself. She's supposed to just WAIT!
But I haven't figured things out, hell all I know right now is that I don't want to even go to prom anymore. Quinn is driving me insane. I really don't know why I'm dating her. I still haven't decided if I'm relieved or sad that she wasn't cheating on me. I think a part of me thought that at least if she was cheating on me I would have my answer. Now I'm back to square one and figuring out why I'm dating her in the first place. I don't care about being prom king. I know she does, but I just don't care. If I'm honest, I don't really want to go to prom with Quinn. Especially now that I know Jesse and Rachel are going together. I need to be around to keep an eye on that jackass to make sure he isn't here to hurt her again.
Quinn's just going to yell at me anyway when I screw up the flowers or my tux. It wouldn't have been that way with Rachel. She would have been happy with anything I got her. I always loved how her eyes would light up when I got her a present. Even if it was just a daisy from the front lawn, she acted like I bought her a whole flower store. She's always so great about everything, which is why I'm not surprised that she would help me figure out what flowers to get Quinn. She's just awesome like that. But as she's talking all I can think about is how beautiful she is and how I really just can't wait to see what she looks like all dressed up at prom. And it breaks me a little when she walks away and I can tell she's just trying to be strong so she doesn't cry in front of me and it takes everything I have not to run after her and hug her.
But I can't. It's not fair to her. I'm still with Quinn and I need to sort out whatever we have going on first. Instead I'll just make sure that I keep an eye on Rachel at prom. I'm not going to let Jesse hurt her again. I still care about her too much to see her hurt. So watch out St. James, I'll be watching you. If he even orders eggs I'm kicking his ass.