Hey everyone. I'm sorry it took awhile to get this out. I wanted to have it out on the weekend but things were too crazy. Anyway, the next chapter I will probably have out in a few days. I have half of it on the go already. So we'll see :)
Disclaimer: FFVII not mine.
Chapter XXXV
Zack's eyes shut themselves instinctively a split second before hearing the strange sound of a slap mixed with a thud followed up by a pained cry. He opened them once again to see his young friend straining in his bonds, his body desperate to get out of the incoming attack. His arms were secured two posts on either side of him, keeping them extended and out from his body. A ball canon was aimed at his torso, more specifically a place on the side of his rib cage. Hojo had rigged the canon so that, instead of shooting tennis balls or baseballs, it shot balls made of iron. The professor hadn't been satisfied with knowing how much pressure was needed to crush the bones of his specimens. He needed to know if results would change when taking into account force of propulsion.
Cloud had been chosen as first test subject. He was still in shock having just had his arm broken in a press only an hour earlier. He felt sick as he stood shakily, trying to keep himself from collapsing. His nerves were choking him as he kept his eyes locked on the machine that was firing spheres of pure hurt at him every ten seconds or so. Each time he was hit, shockwaves of heat went through him, firing up his pain receptors. Every time he heard the sound of the machine firing, he would try to lower his arms, to shield himself instinctively, but he was met only with restraint. Hot tears squeezed from the corners of his tightly shut eyes as the same patch of flesh was battered repeatedly. He tried not to cry out but the sounds seemed to come from someone else. Someone deep inside him.
Finally, after what seemed like the longest eternity imaginable, there was an audible cracking sound as one of Cloud's ribs gave way. Zack found himself letting out a sigh of relief, without really meaning to. He was just happy that the torture was finished for his friend. He was wrong. Hojo inspected Cloud's injury, pressing and prodding at it, drawing deep groans from Cloud as he gritted his teeth.
"Only a crack, keep going," Hojo instructed then. Zack looked at him in shock before turning back to his friend's sad eyes. Sad and pleading. They spoke the words Cloud would never utter himself.
It took three more hits for the cracked rib to break fully. The only indication at first that it had was Cloud's piercing cry. But his cries continued and he began struggling hard to get out of his bonds. He seemed to have lost ability to keep himself standing any longer, his knees giving out under him. Hojo and his assistants glared at Cloud as though his reaction was over-dramatic. Cloud knew what they didn't. He could feel the splintered bone in his torso pushing through his heavily bruised flesh. Hojo seemed to realize a moment before the bone broke surface, what was about to happen. But he only smiled. He's fucking smiling! Zack thought in horror as he glanced back and forth from him to Cloud. A line of blood began trailing down Cloud's naked side, getting absorbed by the waist of his pants.
"Are you gonna let him the hell down, you fucking psycho?!" Zack yelled at Hojo then, his voice trembling a little with a mix of emotion and fury.
Hojo nodded at two of his assistants. They removed Cloud from his bonds, letting him fall to his back where he clutched his bleeding side. He felt like screaming, over and over until he couldn't anymore. But he didn't. He ground his teeth, bit his tongue, did anything to keep from screaming. The pain was so incredible. He could feel the protruding, jagged edged bone pressing against the palm of his hand. He felt like he was going to throw up but he swallowed back the little vomit that did find its way to his throat. He waited to be taken to the med sector where he hoped he'd be put out with anesthetic before the doctor attempted to repair him. He didn't even make it that long. The force of being lifted to a gurney sent a rush to his head and pushed darkness to his eyes, blocking out everything around him and dragging him down into unconsciousness.
000
From somewhere in the darkness, the void of sense deprivation, there was a hand caressing his face. It was soft to the touch. There was something familiar about it though it gave him an odd sensation. Moving into the hand he sighed lightly before opening his mouth to speak.
"Mother?" he questioned in a tone just barely above a whisper.
"Yesss," a voice hissed back at him. That wasn't his mother's voice. His eyes shot open and he sat up straight, shielding his eyes from a blinding, bright green light.
"Ah—who are you?" he strained to question. The light was so powerful, it burned the backs of his eyes. It felt heavy, like it was weighing down on him.
"You know who I am, child," the voice responded like an echo from far away.
"Jenova," a different voice spoke from right at his ear. He knew the voice well. It was Sephiroth's voice. Cloud turned fast but was met with open space. "Over here," Sephiroth spoke again from his other side. Cloud shook his head and climbed to his feet, squinting hard against the overwhelming light. He turned a few times, trying to make out anything around him. He could see nothing. Nothing but bright green.
"What's happening?" he questioned frantically.
"Fear not, Cloud," Sephiroth spoke again as two firm hands closed around his shoulders. "You're not alone. Not anymore." Cloud jerked his shoulders to get away from Sephiroth but the general kept a tight grip on him.
"You're dead you son of a bitch," Cloud replied then, feeling anger heating his blood. "Get out of my head!"
"Ohh…we aren't just in your head, Cloud," Sephiroth spoke slowly. Though he couldn't see the man, Cloud could feel him there behind him. He could feel his face close to the side of his, the fallen general's lips close to his ear. The feeling of the man's breath against his neck sent a chill down his spine. "We're in every part of you," Sephiroth concluded.
"We?" Cloud questioned in annoyance, trying again to pull away from the invisible man. The hands moved from his shoulders suddenly then, gripping his head on either side and holding it tightly.
"Look," Sephiroth demanded. Cloud focused on the space ahead of him. Slowly a shadow was forming in the green. It was coming closer to him, its features beginning to take shape. After a moment, he was looking upon a creature he'd seen before. It was her. Jenova. Cloud felt paralyzed as he watched her approaching. He told himself to move but his body wouldn't comply. He couldn't even blink.
"My newest child," Jenova breathed. "Your brother speaks truth. We're with you now. In here," she said as she motioned to Cloud's forehead "and here." She moved her hand over his heart. Without warning, she thrust her hand through his chest and broke his silence. He screamed against the pain. He could feel Jenova's cold hand wrapping around his heart, squeezing it and twisting.
As quick as the pain had come, it stopped. Cloud opened his eyes to see a mass of watery shapes before him. He realized quite quickly that he was in one of the cylinders in Hojo's lab. Several of the assistants were moving around outside his tank. He spotted Hojo coming toward him, saw the look of deep interest on his face. Standing mere inches from the glass, he spoke. "Whatever were you dreaming about, C4?" he questioned. Cloud could just barely make out his words through the water. "Whatever it was, it must have been quite distressing…" Something else must have caught Hojo's attention. He leaned in closer to the glass, pressing his hands against it. "Drain the cell," he demanded sharply.
Cloud inhaled deeply before the air mask detached from his face and the water began to drain. Hojo barely wasted any time punching in the code to open the door before he stepped up in front of Cloud, trapping him against the glass at his back. He clutched Cloud's dripping face harshly.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Cloud asked, his voice coming out hoarse and unsure.
"Don't talk," Hojo snapped, placing his other hand on Cloud's forehead. Hojo was looking at his eyes. He had no clue why. His sight as far as he could tell had returned to normal. The fact that Hojo seemed to be so interested in them now had him feeling very uneasy. "Give me a light," the professor demanded and one of his assistants handed him a penlight. He clicked it on and shone it in Cloud's left eye. He stepped back after a moment, seeming a little confused.
"What is it professor?" one of the assistants asked.
"Nothing," he said lowly. "Take him to the med sector so Gunan can have a look at him," he added as he stepped away.
Cloud looked toward Zack before being led away. They shared equally puzzled expressions before Cloud exited the lab. He walked along silently, shaking from the cold air on his damp body with a goon attached to his arm. His left forearm had been casted. It was wrapped in some sort of plastic to keep it from getting wet. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in the cylinder in the lab but it couldn't have been very long. His left side ached unbelievably where his rib had been fractured and the spot was still heavily bruised, though the bone must have been repaired and the wound stitched.
In the med-sector, the doctor inspected him before wrapping his rib cage tightly in a white bandage. He was dragged off to his and Zack's cell to await his friend's return. Left alone in silence, his thoughts were swirling. He'd dreamed of Jenova. Why would he dream of her? The dream was more than a dream. It felt real. Jenova's cells were somewhere inside him. Didn't that mean he was no longer his own person? That thought scared him.
Not long after he'd returned to the cell, Zack was brought in. They resembled each other in several ways. The large bandages, the casts, the tired, still shocked expressions over the literal blows they'd been dealt recently. Still Zack smiled. His sad eyes, once so vibrant, glimmered a little brighter when he entered and looked at Cloud.
"Hey, buddy," he said with a sigh as he reached for the clothes laid out for him. After a painful first attempt at bending to reach them, he decided to crouch down for them. "It's pretty crazy shit, huh? We got some superman bone structure now. Just think of all the reckless fun we could have," he joked.
Cloud's expression didn't change. No way Zack was feeling as casual about what was happening to them as he was trying to seem. But that was Zack. Cloud was never good at faking a sense of humour. He didn't have much of one to begin with.
"What the hell was Hojo looking at your eyes for anyway," Zack's muffled voice asked as he pulled his shirt down over his head. "Your sight isn't going again is it?" His tone grew several degrees more concerned.
"No," Cloud replied shortly. He exhaled heavily when he saw Zack's expectant gaze. "I dunno what his problem was."
Zack shrugged lightly before leaning back on the wall behind him. "Man, my head hurts," he said softly, tipping his head back against the cold concrete.
"Just your head?" Cloud asked skeptically.
"Well actually my everything hurts, but my head seems to be competing in the biggest pain in the ass competition to win."
There was a moment of heavy silence then before Zack spoke again. "Somethin' on your mind, kid?"
"I dunno," Cloud answered solemnly. "Just thinking about things I miss…"
It wasn't a complete lie. He was never far from thinking about something from his life he missed. But it wasn't what he was thinking about at that exact moment. He didn't want to get in a discussion about Sephiroth and Jenova with Zack at that moment in time so he didn't bother to tell him about the dream he had.
"Yeah. I miss French toast," Zack responded.
"Just French toast?"
"Course not. I miss orange juice. I miss hash browns. I miss eggs. Oh boy, do I miss bacon," he said with a wide nostalgic grin.
"You miss anything that's not food?"
Zack's expression straightened. "Yeah. Lots of things. Everything really. Goddamn it, I miss the things I never liked to begin with."
"You have a lot to miss," Cloud commented.
"You don't?" Zack asked in confusion.
"I miss my mom. I miss freedom. I never had anything else," Cloud explained softly. "I just don't wanna be afraid anymore. I don't wanna hurt anymore," he added.
Zack gazed downwards, trying to decide how he should respond, or if he should at all. Cloud spoke again before he had the chance to decide.
"You pretend a lot around me." It was a statement, not a question. Zack threw his gaze at him, surprised at his accusation.
"What?"
"You pretend that a lot of what bothers you doesn't. That you aren't hurting as much as you are, that you aren't as afraid as you are. Why do you do that?"
"Uh…" Zack struggled with what to say. He ran a hand over his head out of habit, feeling the growing fuzz of hair under his fingers. When he took too long to come up with something Cloud went on.
"I mean, were you like that with Angeal too? Anyone who you get closer to?"
Zack winced at the mention of his former mentor's name. The last image he had of him was a distorted one, brought on by one of Hojo's horrific simulations.
"No…" Zack began slowly. "Uh, with Angeal…it was different. Angeal was…" he trailed off as he thought about the deep bond he'd shared with the man. He felt his emotions choking him just thinking about it. "It was just different," he concluded. It drew an unsatisfied expression from Cloud. "Look, Spike, I'll try to explain it better sometime. Sometime, when my head ain't killing me," he spoke uneasily as he lay down on his mattress.
Cloud sighed unhappily before turning over on his side, ignoring the incredible pain it gave him from resting on his injured ribs so that he wouldn't have to face Zack's direction.
000
"It's good to see you…Cloud."
Those icy words splintered up his back as he pivoted fast to face the silver-maned general. The man was walking toward him, taking slow, light steps that barely echoed off the walls in the giant room. Where are we? Cloud wondered as he glanced from side to side. It didn't take him too long to realize they were in the reactor, the very reactor that had seemed to seal his and Zack's fate three years ago.
"Why are you tormenting me?" Cloud questioned heatedly, frustration and anger sparking in him fast.
The general chuckled. "Some would think it your own doing. You did kill me, after all. Perhaps your guilt is becoming too much for you."
"You're insane. I don't feel one ounce of guilt for destroying a monster like you," Cloud spat at him.
"A monster? Ouch. Such harsh words from such a pretty face," he said with amusement as he reached out to stroke Cloud's left cheek with the back of his hand. Cloud batted it out of the way. "You should watch what you say, young Cloud," Sephiroth advised sharply. "Over time I will be a mirror to you. All the things you see in me…will be in you. Well…maybe not everything," he said crudely as he eyed Cloud up and down. "Come, tell me, why do you hate me so?" he asked as he began circling Cloud.
"You know why. You destroyed nearly everything in the world that matters to me!" Cloud shouted angrily.
"Oh, come now, Cloud. That's not why you hate me."
"You killed my mother mercilessly," Cloud barely spoke above a whisper, tears striking his eyes as he thought of how horrible her death must have been.
"Your mother is not dead," Sephiroth said pointedly. Cloud looked up at him with a confused hope in his eyes. "Mother is here," the man added, extending an arm to his left. Cloud looked to where he was gesturing. It was Jenova, encased in a tank of mako.
"That thing is not my mother!" Cloud said sharply. There was a violent shattering of glass that drew back Cloud's attention to the tank. In the same stomach-plummeting second, he noticed Jenova was gone just before feeling someone grab him from behind. An arm circled his torso and pinned his arms to his body while a hand gripped his neck causing him to choke on an inhale.
"You are my child," a crisp, piercing voice said close to his right ear. "And you will do what I ask of you."
Cloud struggled hard in the iron-grip of the arms holding him. The pressure increased in his neck, cutting off his breathing completely.
"You have much to learn, young one," Jenova spoke again. Sephiroth stepped up in front of Cloud then. He removed his gloves slowly, dropping them to the floor before reaching out toward him. Cloud was trying hard to take air into his chest. His lungs were screaming for oxygen. The pain of it forced tears from his eyes. He wanted to close his eyes as Sephiroth's cold hands clasped the sides of his face but he couldn't. He was paralyzed beyond will. He kept his focus on the general's eyes as he leaned in close. He pressed his forehead to Cloud's and a wave of hot pain fell over him. His paralysis was broken and he shut his eyes, opening his mouth wide in a scream that he couldn't get out past Jenova's hand on his throat.
Suddenly, the pain stopped. The hold on his neck was gone. He took in the first of a series of deep, heaving breaths, opening his eyes to see Zack kneeling over him, a look of deep relief spreading over a concerned and fearful expression. He could feel Zack's hands on the sides of his face.
"That's it, buddy, breathe," Zack urged him as he struggled to intake enough air to satisfy his depraved lungs. His body was shuddering each time he exhaled. Cloud was confused then. He didn't understand what was happening. He'd been dreaming a minute ago, hadn't he? So why was Zack telling him to breathe?
"Za—Zack. Wha?" he uttered between pants, trying to understand what was going on.
"Shh, just relax, you stopped breathing in your sleep," Zack explained softly. Cloud felt his heart skip a beat.
"What? But I—it was a dream," he choked out in disbelief.
"Well whatever it was, you scared the shit out of me. I thought…"
"What?" Cloud questioned Zack when he didn't finish his sentence. He was staring at Cloud with a look of confusion. "Zack, what?"
"It's…your eyes—" he started to explain slowly.
"My eyes?"
"The mako rings. It's like they're…pulsing."
All Cloud could do was stare back at Zack. He felt sick suddenly and struggled to get to the bathroom before losing control of his stomach contents. There was no mirror in the bathroom. No way for him to see what Zack was talking about. As he was splashing water on his face at the sink, he looked down at the tap. Stainless steel. Leaning in close, he gazed at the distorted reflection of himself. He focused on his eyes. It was hard to see but what Zack had said was truth. The thin green circles of mako in his eyes seemed to be pulsing, brightening and then dimming quickly, following something of a rhythm.
"Jesus," he whispered to himself. "What's happening to me?"