Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Pairing(s): Natsu Dragneal x Zeref

WARNINGS: violence, alternative history, shounan ai (boy/boy pairing); you have been warned so don't like, don't read

The Will to Live

By V. Shalyr

35. Our Fairytale

They were gone.

Zeref lay beneath a tree by the river with his arms folded behind his head, gazing up through the leaves at the sky—blue today with faint streaks of white cloud. It was the kind of sky that got reproduced in cheerful paintings and in children's books, but looking at it, Zeref just felt numb.

The dragons were gone. Most of the ones remaining anyway. Gone about three hundred years into the future where Igneal had decided that they would all start life over as human beings—more or less—in an era when the scars of the past would have had time to heal. An era where the existence of dragons would become but the stuff of stories. The healer woman had gone with them too, curious to see what changes three hundred years would make to the world. Unlike Zeref, she wasn't immortal and couldn't wait around to find out the normal way.

The wizard wished he could have left with them, but someone had to stay behind to destroy the time gate and he was the only one who could. Besides, Igneal thought it would be wiser for him and Natsu to spend some time apart while the younger dragon got over the effects of Zeref's tainted magic. He trusted the older dragon's judgment, even if the thought was a little painful. He may not have been the one who actually carried out the deed, but the Black Wizard still considered all the deaths from that day to be part of his already overly long guilt list.

Zeref lifted a hand, looking at the clouds through his spread fingers. He bet none of the people who came after him ever thought about just how troublesome it was at times to be a powerful wizard. Was it really okay for him to be happy?

"I shouldn't be thinking this way, should I?" he said aloud, asking no one in particular.

"Of course not," he could imagine Natsu saying. "I'm gone for two days, and you're already getting all depressed again?"

"It's difficult to be positive when I'm alone."

"But you're not alone. You have me."

Natsu hadn't actually said these things, but Zeref was fairly sure he would have if he'd known what was on the wizard's mind. Natsu still hadn't recognized him, even though it had been weeks since the dragon's rampage in the mountains. Zeref could only hope that Igneal was right and things would settle down and Natsu would return to being himself.

"You are too young to lose hope so easily."

"Young? To a dragon, perhaps."

"No." Igneal had shaken his head. "I do not mean your years. You are young, even for a human, because you have not allowed yourself to really live. You do not have the experiences that come with age, for all that you have acquired wisdom beyond your years. You still have far too much life ahead of you, and my son loves you. He will not let that life be an unhappy one."

Zeref let his hand drop to his side and sat up. Right, that was enough feeling sorry for himself. Beating himself up over what had happened wasn't going to change anything, and when he got depressed, a lot of things just died. It was a vicious cycle that he really should try to stave off for as long as possible.

Besides, there was someone that he had to see.

.

Rune Knight captain Edrik Ghalice was surprised to glance out the window of his small, country home to see a familiar figure dressed in black standing by the garden gate. That couldn't be... But he knew it was. He'd been around magic enough to know the difference between realities and illusions, and the person inspecting his flower beds was definitely very real.

The last time he'd seen the Black Wizard had been after the incident at the Mieye Library. The boy had found him and his team unconscious in the white chamber and woken him to ask what had happened to Dierce. Edrik could still remember every word of their conversation.

"We sealed him away."

"I see. I'm sorry about your other companions."

"What do you mean?"

The boy gestured towards the ceiling,. "The others who came with you... There was a dragon attack. I... was unable to save them. I'm not sure if any of them are still alive."

This was shocking news, but not the most unexpected thing that had ever happened to him.

"I am going to leave now," Zeref told him. "You and your men should remain down here for awhile, until you can be sure that the dragons have gone."

"There's more than one?"

"Yes."

"And you?"

"The dragons have asked me to do something for them. I am going to do it."

Edrik hadn't asked for any more details, because he doubted that the dark wizard would say much more. In fact, he was surprised that Zeref had shared even that much of his plans.

Now, four months later, Edrik was still recuperating from the backlash of the incident in the bowels of the library with no idea when he would be able to return to active duty. The unnatural pain and stiffness in his limbs that had plagued him since that day had eased up some, but the recovery process was proving to be slow—another reason why people shouldn't fool around with powerful spells.

So what was the Black Wizard doing here? What possible reason could he have for seeking Edrik out? It couldn't be an accident. It was simply too coincidental.

Zeref glanced up when Edrik left the house and made his slow way down the brick path, stopping some paces away from the gate.

"What are you doing here?" Edrik asked, getting straight to the point. He'd never been one for beating around the bush.

To his credit, the dark wizard didn't appear to be either.

"I intend to disappear, once I find somewhere suitable," he said, his voice quiet but clear. "But I need to leave something for someone—so that he will be able to reach me if—when—he starts to look for me."

The knight captain raised his eyebrows. "And you're choosing to leave this clue with me?"

"You strike me as an honorable man. What better place to hide a secret about a dark wizard than with a member of the Rune Knights?"

"You might be right about that." Edrik considered this. "Can I ask what you've done with the Mieye Library? I took some men back there, but we were unable to enter it. We couldn't even find the original doors."

"I've sealed it off."

"Maybe you should have destroyed it."

The dark wizard thought this over seriously. "Maybe I should have. But... the place holds too many memories for me. I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"You're very sentimental."

"I suppose I am." Zeref shrugged. "So will you do it?"

"You haven't really explained what you're asking for," Edrik pointed out.

Zeref hesitated for a moment then slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out a maroon cube only slightly larger than the dice people used in gambling houses. The cube had a squirrel carved on one face and flowers on all the others. How... odd.

"I'd like you to hold on to this for awhile, and to find some way to get it to a Fire Dragon Slayer—when one shows up."

"If one shows up."

"He will. But... not for a few lifetimes."

"Do you have a name to go with that description?"

"Natsu. His name will be Natsu."

"I see." Edrik frowned. "But if you're not expecting him for a few lifetimes, I won't be around."

The dark wizard lowered his head. "I know, but I was hoping you could think of something. Leave instructions for your family, perhaps, or leave your own clues around Mieye Library. I'm afraid that if I do it myself, it will be found too easily by the other people who want to find me."

"What other people?"

The boy's lips quirked in a humorless smile. "I don't know yet, but there's always someone—if not now, then later. So will you do it?"

It was strange, Edrik thought, but... he found himself inclined to accept. He wasn't on duty right now, and anyway, it could only be a good thing for the Black Wizard to disappear for awhile, right? With this in mind, the knight captain nodded slowly and held out his hand.

"All right. I'll do it."

The wizard's smile was relieved but also incredibly weary. The captain didn't think he'd ever seen anyone look so exhausted.

"Thank you."

It was the last time Edrik saw him.

.

Zeref lost track of time after that. It was easy to do when wandering the wilderness alone, and it wasn't like he had any reason to try and remember what day of what year it was.

Finding "somewhere suitable" was taking longer than he had hoped. There didn't seem to be anywhere that was safe or secure enough, and he couldn't afford to compromise.

Zeref struggled not to fall back into the haze of depression that had plagued him in the days before he'd met Natsu. He only managed it because of their link, although their separation across time as well as space made the feeling more of a painful ache than anything. He clung to that pain as evidence that it had not all just been a dream, a reminder that what he'd had—still had—with Natsu was real and could not be taken away.

On the surface, his life had gone back to the way it had been for most of the past century, but it was not the same. He was not the same, and that was important.

And so he went back to wandering, letting his feet take him where they would and generally steering clear of towns and villages. A few times, he detoured into a bakery or restaurant when he spotted something through the windows that he'd eaten while with Natsu. It was incredibly sentimental of him, but he was completely terrified of forgetting how it had felt when they were traveling together. He needed those memories.

Zeref used to talk aloud to himself when he'd been alone. Now, he talked to Natsu, even though the dragon wasn't around to hear him. He spoke about his thoughts, shared observations of the things that he saw, and imagined what Natsu might have said in response. At times, he felt as though he could almost hear him, and he'd stop and wonder what kind of life his partner was—would be—living. It helped pass the time while he searched for somewhere to hide himself away, although part of him was beginning to despair of ever finding such a place.

These were the thoughts weighing on his mind when a girl with absurdly long waves of pale blond hair stumbled upon him in the woods. She was an illusionist, and she asked him an unexpected question.

"It's obvious that you're a powerful wizard. Could you teach me and my friends? We need to become stronger so we can help the town. There are some people we have to defeat."

The woods around them were silent, although there was a human settlement not that far away. That was probably the town she was talking about. Zeref looked at her, weighing the emotions in her voice with the expression on her face. She seemed sincere, and her motives did not appear to be selfish.

Perhaps he had been going about this all the wrong way. Perhaps it wasn't about finding a suitable place to rest, but about creating one.

"I am tired," he said, watching her expression carefully. "I will teach you and your friends, butt in exchange, I want you to help me find somewhere to sleep where I will not be disturbed."

"To sleep?" she repeated, confused.

He couldn't blame her. It had to sound like an odd request.

"That's right. I'm waiting for someone, but I'm not expecting him for awhile yet and I am very, very tired."

And that was how he found his way to a small island surrounded by ocean. Tenrou, the girl Mavis had called it. There used to be people living there, but the settlement had been wiped out by Dark Guilds several years ago, leaving Mavis herself as the only survivor. Now, the island was mostly forgotten, just a ghost from a dark past that the world didn't want to remember.

Rather fitting really.

Zeref wandered up from the shore where the fishing boat had dropped him off. He'd find his own way back, he'd told the fisherman, neglecting to explain that really, he had no intention of returning to the mainland anytime soon.

The island seemed quiet. Dense forests covered large parts of it, although here and there, he would glimpse traces of past human habitation. No one was here now though, and that was what mattered. Yes, he thought, this place would do.

"My guild will protect the island," she had said. "It was my home after all. No one will bother you. You can stay there for as long as you like."

Zeref believed her, although he wasn't certain that he should. Still, it wasn't like he planned on sleeping out in the open, so it didn't matter too much if she kept her word. He hadn't told her his name either, and almost nobody knew what he looked like these days. Years had passed since he'd seen the last wanted poster put out by the knights, and he rather suspected that Edrik had had a hand in stopping their circulation. If the Black Wizard wanted to disappear, they could minimize casualties by not trying to root him out. With the steady rise in dark wizard activity, the knights had other priorities.

Zeref wondered if the stoic captain was still alive. How long had it been since he'd made that visit to the man? A decade? More?

Shaking his head, Zeref pushed those musings away and focused on finding a path through the trees. He could hear running water nearby, and he was fairly certain he'd seen potential caves. If he was lucky, there might even be underground tunnels, and if there weren't, he could always make some. It wasn't like he didn't have time.

As he picked his way through drifts of fallen leaves left over from past autumns, Zeref thought wryly of the conversation he and Natsu had had over sandwiches and pastries in the library of Xander's old house in Sage Town. They had picked apart the story of the girl who'd slept a hundred years until finally woken by a kiss from someone who loved her. It was boring, they'd agreed, and impractical, not to mention implausible. Now though, the idea of sleeping for a couple hundred years while he waited for the person he loved to return to him didn't sound so bad at all.

He would have to set up the spell in such a way so that Natsu—and Natsu only—would be able to break it. Hmmm, he didn't want to be woken by a kiss though. That was creepy. He didn't want any strangers manhandling his body either if he could help it, hence the key to the spell he intended to cast that he had left with the Rune Knight captain.

Zeref pushed his way past a curtain of vines and blinked rapidly in the sudden flood of sunlight. Before him, the forest temporarily gave way to a clear pool with a waterfall cascading into it on one side and a stream flowing out of it on the other. A dark crevice was visible through the cloudy spray of the waterfall, cut into the rocky cliff face. The crevice was wide enough for one person to step through, provided that person wasn't too obese, and beyond it was a narrow passageway leading into the heart of the island.

Well, that looked promising.

Zeref paused for a moment with his hand on the cold rock wall and glanced back over his shoulder at the sky. It was clear for now, but he could sense a storm on its way, a sign that this year's summer was drawing to a close. The wizard smiled a little and stepped through the crevice into the cool darkness, thinking about a different, grander waterfall and reading with Natsu while listening to the rain.

He didn't know if they would have their happily ever after. Their story wasn't exactly a fairytale, for all that it had turned out, after all, to be about love and dreams. But if they were a fairytale and they did get their ever after, Zeref supposed that this would be their once upon a time.

TBC...

(End of part one)

AN: And that brings us to the end of part one.

The library story arc is not over, but that'll come later.

.