Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any other copyrighted material.

Tell Yourself

By: Princess Kitty1

Peanut Gallery II

It was a beautiful summer day; nice enough for Rukia, Tatsuki and Chizuru to have lunch at a park with their friends Michiru Ogawa, Ryo Kunieda, and Mahana Natsui. They were waiting for Orihime to join them, as she was still tutoring at the school a few blocks away.

And the conversation had been going quite normally until…

"Hey guys," said Mahana, turning a sheepish yet curious look on the three who knew Inoue best, "does Orihime have a boyfriend?"

Rukia choked on her lunch, frantically clawing at her throat with one hand and hitting herself in the gut with the other until her airways were clear and she could breathe again, albeit in a raspy way. Chizuru sent Tatsuki a panicked look. So she was the elected leader, eh?

"What makes you say that?" Tatsuki asked patiently.

Mahana went on as Ryo handed Rukia a napkin. "It's really nothing. I mean, I think it's nothing, that's why I'm asking. But… I've seen her with someone," she said, dropping her voice to a near whisper. "A guy."

"Obviously," Ryo muttered.

Rukia sucked down a gulp of juice from the small box in her hand. "What did he look like?"

"Dark hair. Really pale, too, like he'd never been out in the sun. A little bit taller than her, and I'm not sure because I was kind of far away, but it looked like he had tattoos on his face."

Michiru gasped. "Wait a minute! That sounds like the guy who works at the candy store now!" She let her chopsticks fall back onto her lunch and leaned in closer to the others. "Please, tell me it's not that guy. I've heard things about him. A friend that I went to middle school with said that this kogal at her high school was attacked by the guy in broad daylight!"

"Face tattoos, eh?" Ryo mused quietly.

"You know who we're talking about, right Ryo?" Michiru asked her.

"Now that you mention it," Ryo took a sip of water from her bottle, the other two watching her with wide eyes. Tatsuki, Chizuru and Rukia had gone mysteriously silent. "My cousin works at the library. She says that guy comes in a lot, and that Orihime's been there with him."

"No way!" Michiru screamed, borderline hysterical.

"She also said that he's almost always in a bad mood, hasn't seen him crack a single smile, and that once, Ishida came out of nowhere and tackled him to the floor. It was a huge commotion."

"Ishida tackled him?"

"Shit," Tatsuki hissed, giving Rukia a pointed look.

"Oh my God, what are we going to do? I mean, what if she's dating this guy and he's a yakuza or something? I mean, tattoos on his face? That sounds like trouble!"

"I thought Orihime was saner than that, but since Kurosaki started dating Kuchiki – no offense, Rukia-chan – I've been kind of worried."

"None taken," Rukia said absently, digging through her purse.

"Do you really think she's gone nutty enough to date a yakuza? Though knowing Orihime, she could probably take him in a fight if things got ugly. But if she makes him mad and he sends his goons after her – "

"What if he tries to have Kurosaki whacked? Or Ishida, because he tackled him?"

"Tatsuki, Chizuru, you two are Orihime's best friends! You have to talk some sense into her!" Michiru said, practically in tears. "She could be in great danger!"

There was a beat of silence, and then to the complete shock of the oblivious three, Chizuru and Tatsuki burst out laughing. Rukia was grinning, too, though she continued to search her bag. "Orihime – in danger – because of him?" Tatsuki managed, holding onto Chizuru's shoulder for support, though Chizuru herself was doubled over with glee.

"What's so…?" Ryo began, but Mahana interrupted her.

"So she is dating him!"

Chizuru waved her hand. "Oh no, it's nothing that drastic. Not yet."

"Well, the living arrangement is kind of…"

"Huh?" the other three cried.

"Anyway, don't worry about Orihime's safety. Cifer would never lay a finger on her."

"Though he's broken the fingers of people who have tried. The poor bastards."

"Found it!" Rukia cried triumphantly, producing a small object from her bag. She gestured to her bewildered friends. "You three, look here please. Arisawa-san, Honsho-san, why don't you get us some more drinks?"

Tatsuki and Chizuru stood from their bench, straightening their clothes. "More drinks? Sure thing!" And a moment later, they heard Michiru ask,

"Kuchiki-san, is that a Pez dispenser?"

…

When Orihime got out of school later that afternoon, she went straight to Urahara's shop to pick up Ulquiorra, as he had informed her via a slowly written text message that he had finished his work early that day. Ururu was outside sweeping, and flashed her a tentative smile as she entered.

Ulquiorra was leaning against the counter, drinking something green and icy. "Is that a new flavor?" Orihime asked him, waving at Yoruichi, who for some reason was watching them from the office with a funny look on her face.

"Green apple," Ulquiorra replied.

"Let me try!" Orihime took the plastic cup from him and stuck the straw in her mouth, oblivious to the widening of Ulquiorra's eyes. "You know, lunch was kinda weird today – mmm, that's good!" She handed it back to him. "I got there and Ryo-kun, Michiru-chan and Mahana-chan were all asleep on the grass!"

Ulquiorra stared at the straw as if he weren't quite sure what to do with it.

"Isn't that weird? Chizuru-chan thought so too, but Tatsuki-chan said that it was so nice and warm outside that she didn't blame them for dozing off. I suppose she's right, huh? Kuchiki-san thought so too. But then when they woke up they couldn't remember what they'd been talking about."

Ulquiorra poked the straw uncertainly.

"Ulquiorra-kun?"

"There is nothing odd about being disoriented upon waking up somewhere unfamiliar," he said, before slowly sticking the straw back into his mouth, his heart turning in weird circles.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

/TBC/

A/N: The memory chikan totally looks like a Pez dispenser… and oh my! Fandom calls that an indirect kiss, Mister Ulquiorra-kun.