DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANYTHING I SAY… NOT EVEN ONE WORD I OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAD ISN'T IT

Chapter 36

APOV

I had been in this asylum for weeks; I was starting to lose my sanity. I was in a cell. Surrounded by insane people, I swear they were edging closer every minute. Crazy Chris' eyes swivelled to me; I took an involuntary step back. He came towards me, he pulled out a knife. Oh sh*t. He squinted his eyes.

"I WILL EAT YOU!" He screamed. He would try to kill me with the knife, but it would bend, and then he would feast on my-still alive- human remains, so everyone would either think I have a really hard body, or he tried to kill me with a foam knife. Crazy Chris came closer and closer, this is how he was given his name.

"You fat filled thing!" He shouted. Too far Chris, Too far.

"I AM NOT FAT! THESE ARE CURVES! I AM A PETITE 5 STONE" I shouted, feeling my tummy. He looked at me like I was crazy, Me, crazy…! Has he met himself yet..? He was really close to me now, he then walked straight past me, I turned around,

"Are you going to eat that?" He asked, pointing to a half eaten chocolate bar. I shook my head, I picked it up and handed it to him, my hands trembling, I looked at the knife in his hand,

"Why do you need a knife for?" I asked, he looked at me, eyes wide,

"DO I ASK WHAT THE HELL YOU DO WHEN YOU ZONE OUT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES?! NO, but it's so I can kill Peppy Pete later," He explained, I nodded, I noticed there was blood on his knife,
"Why is there blood already on there?" I asked,

"Well, Stacey looks A LOT like Pete!" I nodded,

"It's the strong jaw line isn't it?"

"Yeah, and the arms, I mean like muscles!," He added

"You know what, could you kill Psycho Phil, he is really annoying!" I said, Chris nodded. He was about to put the chocolate bar in his mouth, it had been on the toilet,

"Chris that---" I started, but he had put it in his mouth, "Don't worry," I said inwardly vomiting. I saw Maniac Martin sitting in the corner, with a piece of A4 paper, He had wrote things on it, I walked up to him,

"What you doing?" I asked,

"Planning to break out, wanna help?" He asked. I nodded, and I went and sat beside him,

"What you come up with so far?" I asked,

"Dig out, with a spoon, Don't worry, it will only take, 25 years, 30 days and 5 seconds," I got up,

"Sorry, but I have something to do in my life!" I said,

"When I am on the other side off that wall, you will not be laughing! You will be crying, thinking why didn't I go with Martin.!" He said

"You got to stop thinking that will happen, because it won't…!" I said. Snapping him back into reality. He shook his head and muttered,
"Just you wait."

JacobPOV

We were on our way to set up Bella's prank, I couldn't wait. I should record this, so when me and Bella are married, we could look back at our funny times together. We would be married one day, Even if I have to kill Edward.

For the prank we first had to go to their hotel room, and steal Bella's keys, Bella was with Edward, traitor. I snuck in,

"Is it getting hot in here?" Bella asked soon-to-be dead Edward, but of course, I am quite hot…OH she meant physically, not visually. We will work on that later.

"I smell dog," Edward said, sticking his nose in the air, I placed my hand in her pocket, and ran out of the house.

BPOV

Where the fudge is my car keys?!

JacobPOV

"HOW COULD HE SMELL ME, I WASHED, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES!" I screamed, "I AM WEARING A NEW COLGNE! CALVEIN KLEIN," Mike looked at me,

"Smells lovely, do you have any spares," Mike asked

"Yeah, sure drop by mine later, I have plenty." I said. I waited for the car to start.

I ran into the car,

"DRIVE, DRIVE," I commanded, Mike started the engine, "FASTER MIKE FASTER!" I screamed. Mike scrambled.

"I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!!!" He said shaking; Lauren shoved him out of the seat, causing him to fall out the car door, falling to the ground with a loud thud. Lauren started it in seconds,

"COME ON DRIVE," I shouted, everyone looked at me,

"I need to do my make up," She whined,

"HEARD OF MULTITASKING?! I THOUGHT SO! And trust me darling, make-up doesn't make you look any better…" I advised

"What about Mike?" They all asked, I shook my head,

"He was just a burden, leave him," By the time I finished Mike had crawled back into the car. Damn. I thought.

We drove to Bella's house, I jumped in her car, Mike followed,

"Holy hell Mike, why oh why did you come in this car?!" I asked, he shrugged. I ignored him and started driving to our destination,

"82 BOTTLES OF BEER ON A WALL IF ONE FELL OF THERE WOULD 81 BOTTLES OF BEER." He sang, he had started on 500,

"MIKE SAY ONE MORE THING, YOUR HEAD, WILL COME IN CONTACT WITH THAT CAR DOOR!" I threatened; Mike straightened up, leaning away from me. We reached our destination in a few minutes; I stepped out the car,

"Thank God, high school musical starts to get annoying after 2 hours!" I said, everyone laughed. Mike blushed,

"You were only in the car for 10 minutes," Lauren pointed out,

"one minute is like and hour with Mike! Have you met him?!" I said, Lauren looked down,

"Yes, I have unfortunately have." Lauren stated Mike blushed,

"It's not my fault my sister watched it repetitively anyway," He defended,

"Mike you don't have a sister…" Lauren said giggling. Mike scowled.

"Okay, guys, we need to decorate Bella's car, has anyone got any glitter?" I asked, Mike lifted up his top, he had a belt with thousands of glitter bottles,

"What colour, white, blue, green, pink, I have lots of pink, turquoise, burgundy…" He trailed off, shoving his shirt down quickly, "It's my sisters…" He said. We used his glitter, to write and customise Bella's car.

"Lauren did you just spill pink paint on the green side?" I asked. She looked at me,

"Umm—Well" She started. I shook my head,

"No it's good, do some more." I praised. Mike looked at me,

"It was all my idea!" He shouted. I nodded. He smiled back. I stuck my middle finger up at him.

MikePOV

"Hey, Lauren what does that mean?" I said pointing to Jacob's hand,

JacobPOV

We had finished Bella's car, it was now bright pink, with green splodges, red stripes, and a drippy rainbow, with hippy flowers, we had written in bright orange glitter,

MAKE LOVE NOT WAR! This was genius; we drove back to the house. And ordered a crane to be put outside our house, we suspended Bella's remodelled car above the house. Mike held the camera, he was shaking, violently,

"MIKE WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR HAND?!" I asked.

"I am scared."

"Of what, poisonous squirrels?" I asked sarcastically, he looked around frantically,

"There are poisonous squirrels?" He asked jumping up, I pulled him down. Bella walked out the door,

BPOV

I walked out the hotel, and Edward ran me back to my house, I was about to enter. Edward was by my side. Edward entered first, gallons of pink paint, green feathers and silver glitter came gushing down, covering him, from head to toe. He was furious. I decided not to enter. I looked up, the sun was bouncing off, something metal, I looked closely, HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP…

"Edward!" I shouted, he had disappeared.

"WHOEVER DID THIS, YOU BETTER RUN!!!"

MikePOV

"Crap, RUN" I shouted.

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