December 08, 2012

I want to thank those of you who have been reviewing so so so much. I am going to be getting to the point where I am going to have to start writing new content for this story so your encouragement is invaluable.

Thanks.

By Christmas Eve Sara's condition had significantly improved and everyone felt as though they could breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy the Christmas season. The time that she had spent in the hepa filter room had given her the opportunity to get the upper hand on the pneumonia and build up her strength enough to be moved to another room and resume her chemo treatment. Her doctors had decided to move her treatment day up to Christmas Eve so that they could take advantage of her stabilized health.

With school over Grissom had been able to visit her more often and he spent more time at the hospital with her than he did anywhere else. Because of the support of their friends they hadn't had to worry about the house or animals. There was always someone willing to take care of things.

Now, with Sara having completed her treatment a couple of hours prior, they sat wrapped up in one another on the bed while Sara traced the diamonds on Grissom's argyle sweater. He had dressed up a little bit to celebrate Sara's final round of chemo as much as he had for the holidays. Not to mention the news that he had received from Henry via text that he hadn't shared with Sara yet.

Looking down he smiled at his wife who had begun humming silent night, very softly, slowly she began to add the occasional word to her rendition of the song. Reaching across him she picked up a Christmas cookie from the tin that Catherine and Lindsay had dropped off that morning. The particular cookie in her hand was formed into the shape of a tree, complete with tiny green and red sprinkles.

Grissom had a vague memory of Lindsay, at around aged 4, bringing cookies exactly like that to the lab one year. Catherine had told him exasperatedly that the little girl had insisted that Uncle Grissom would be sad at work if they didn't bring him any cookies. He smiled at the memory and wondered if it was a Christmas tradition for the pair to partake in baking the sweet treats. He felt happy at the image of mother and daughter sharing such a happy moment together, and wondered how many times over the years he had ruined it by scheduling Catherine to work. Because, what could possibly be more important than the lab. Looking down at his wife, he finally got it, and made a mental note to apologize to Catherine.

"What are you thinking about up there?" Sara asked, shifting a little then snuggling closer to him.

"Christmas cookies," he answered, picking up one from the tin and running a finger over the smooth edge of a Christmas ornament.

"11:58p.m.," Sara spoke up, looking at the clock on the wall. "Almost Christmas."

Nodding a little bit, he removed the cookie from her hand and placed it back in the tin. Snuggling her closer, he gently took her by the chin and guided her face up for a kiss. When they finally pulled away it was officially Christmas Day. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Grissom," He whispered, his mouth a mere hairs width away from touching hers.

"Merry Christmas, Grissom," she leaned in to kiss him again. Offering him a small smile she nodded across the room. "Your present is in the cupboard. I picked it out of a catalogue. Catherine picked it up and wrapped it. She did a really nice job." Slowly, she moved off him to let him get up and retrieve her gift. When he returned, he had two wrapped gifts in hand.

Once he was settled on the bed again she looked at him expectantly. "You first," she told him.

"Okay," carefully he inspected the wrapping paper before picking a spot and sliding his thumb under it. Carefully he peeled the paper back meticulously, being sure not to tear it. Sara made an impatient noise and so he sped up a little by not taking the time to fold the paper neatly once it was removed, as he normally would have done. He inspected the black box which was roughly the size of his hand, but much thinner. Raising his eyebrows, he lifted the lid off to reveal an intricately carved pocket watch. Inspecting it further he turned the box into the overhead light and found that the engraving was a butterfly, raised and spread wide to reveal a delicate, perfectly symmetrical pattern.

Sara shifted uncomfortably and began to stutter. "I know it's not much… there was limited choice," she explained, her voice shy and unsure. "It was a small catalogue… I will get you a real gift when I get out of here. I-"

He cut her off by pressing a kiss to her mouth. "It's perfect. It's like having you in my pocket," he whispered. "Thank you."

His wife relaxed into his side a little bit.

"Now you," he offered her gift.

Accepting the gift she tore the paper back. "What is it?" She asked, inspecting the black hardcover book. Turning it over in her hands she inspected the spine that had clearly at some point had text printed in gold on it but it was now faded away. Carefully she cracked the cover and peered inside. The first page was blotted with age and the paper felt fragile in her fingers. "The Whale," she read aloud, "By Herman Melville… 1851…Griss is this…"

"First Edition," he nodded, pushing her hair back from her forehead. "I saw it and… I thought of you."

Sara offered her a smile before turning her attention back to her gift. Very carefully she turned the pages as memories from her childhood rushed back to her. She had loved the tale of Moby Dick as a child. She couldn't even count how many times she had taken it out of the library and hidden away with it in her closet or in the backyard behind the shed. Sara paused on one page and began to read, "…Because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world…"

"… that is not what it is, merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." Grissom finished, his eyes looking directly into hers.

"Thank you Grissom," She whispered, a yawn escaping her. Dropping her head back down she buried it in his chest.

Carefully Grissom placed the wrapping paper and gifts on the table beside the bed. If she fell asleep now, maybe she would sleep through the effects of the chemo. Pulling the blanket up over her shoulders he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and turned out the light. "Merry Christmas, honey."

XXXXX

Sara slept deeply and late into the next day, skipping breakfast and her doctor's morning rounds. Grissom spent the time watching her sleep and enjoying being close to her. He could feel that things would get better from here. They simply had to. He hadn't associated himself with any kind of religion for many years, but today he believed in miracles, no matter where they were coming from.

He looked over at the time when he heard someone coming into the room. It was too early for lunch and though he didn't doubt that the team would stop in, he didn't think it would be until this evening while they were on their way to Catherine's for her annual Christmas party.

He was a little bit surprised to find Mandy being pushed into the room in a wheelchair by Henry, the newest addition to their family cradled in her arms. He knew that Mandy had gone into labour the night before but he wasn't expecting them to visit so soon.

"Congratulations," Grissom smiled, holding Sara closer.

Both parents' tired faces lit up with proud grins. "Thanks," Mandy answered when Henry parked her wheelchair beside the bed. "Merry Christmas. How is she?"

"Good, tired, I think. She slept through the night and all morning," Grissom informed the couple. "She had her last chemo treatment yesterday so she's probably in for a rough day. But," he nodded to the baby. "He'll help…" Looking back down at his wife he was torn about whether he should wake or not. Eventually he decided that she would be happy to meet James, and so he rubbed her cheek gently. "Sara, honey, you have some visitors," he informed her.

Scrunching up her nose Sara groaned and turned her face into Grissom's chest. "I had a dream that I was getting a treatment… on the EiffelTower…"

Grissom smiled. "Would you like to go to Paris? We could do that."

"Yeah," she breathed, snuggling closer to him for warmth. "But not for chemo." Sara stretched out a little then entwined their feet under the blankets. Her body began to relax into the more comfortable position and she began to drift back to sleep.

"Sara, Mandy wants you to meet someone," Gil told her, rubbing her back to wake her up a little.

"Hmm?" she asked, opening her eyes, but clearly still exhausted.

Gil wondered if he had made the right decision in waking her because she seemed so weak. He decided that they would need to keep the visit short so that she would be able to get back to sleep and build some strength. The doctor had arranged for her to have a biopsy the next day to check for remaining cancer cells. Motioning to Mandy, he encouraged her to come closer to the bed.

The other woman passed the baby to her husband while she got to her feet, then accepted him back into her arms and approached the side of the bed. For the first time, Grissom got to peer at the infant, wrapped in a blue blanket. Gil didn't have much experience with newborns, and when he had in the past it had mostly been under tragic circumstances: a suspicious case of SIDS, postpartum depression, or a kidnapping case. He hadn't realized how strange newborns looked until this moment.

"Jamie?" Sara asked, her voice cracking.

Reaching over to the bedside, Grissom picked up the gelpack that the nurses and taken to leaving for them, and pressed it against the small of his wife's back. He knew that the cooling sensation would help with any nausea she was feeling.

"It's him," Mandy responded, turning the baby in her arms so that Sara could see.

Sara craned her neck a little then dropped it back onto her husbands shoulder, feeling a little bit woozy.

"Here," Mandy said quietly as she leaned over the bed.

Grissom was surprised when she laid the baby on his chest at eyelevel with Sara. It felt unnatural to have an infant laying on him and he wasn't sure what to do, but, when James shifted his tiny leg, Gil's arm quickly moved to hold him in place. He swallowed, watching as Sara gently reached up and touched the baby's hand. A small smile crept across her face. "Hi Jamie. Merry Christmas, and… birthday?"

Henry piped in. "December 25th, 4:32a.m." The tech looked over at his wife proudly, as though the couple were sharing a secret that was theirs alone.

"His middle name should be Christopher then," Sara whispered, shifting against Gil.

Grissom wondered if she was in pain, but didn't say anything. She didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead, he adjusted his hand to rest it on the baby's back more comfortably and securely.

Mandy glanced at Henry then back to Sara. "You think so? He doesn't have a middle name yet." She looked back over at her husband, asking him silently.

"James Christopher Andrews," Henry said aloud thoughtfully. "He's a triple first namer… I like it," he nodded.

Nodding sleepily Sara shifted again and Grissom noted the beads of sweat that were breaking out on her temples and upper lip. He released James slowly as his mother lifted him back up, looking a little bit nervous herself. "Thanks Mandy. I'm sure that meant a lot to her."

Mandy nodded in response.

"Maybe you can visit again later?" Sara asked, her arm siding across Grissom's stomach and wrapping around him.

"I'd really like that Sara." Crossing the room, Mandy passed the baby over to her husband then sat back down.

Once the family had gone, Grissom turned his full attention back to Sara. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"My throat hurts. Can I get some water?" She asked, turning over so her back was pressed against him. "It's too hot."

Gil quickly climbed off the bed to relieve her of his body heat and pulled the blanket off her, leaving the sheet to keep her covered. Picking up the water bottle he helped her drink and set it to the side again. Once she seemed a bit more comfortable he tucked her in again and sat down beside her bed, using one hand to stroke her forehead.

"So what did you think of that baby?" Sara asked him, blinking sleepily.

"Uh, he's small… and, looks like them," Grissom told her awkwardly, not really sure what one could say about a baby. They didn't do much of anything.

"He's pretty cute," Sara whispered, playing with the hem on his sleeve. "Don't you think?"

Gil nodded faithfully before leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. Her eyes fluttered closed and she lay there unmoving for a few minutes. He thought she had fallen asleep, until she opened her eyes again looking much better than she had just moments before.

"So… I am assuming Catherine invited you over for Christmas dinner," she finally said, tilting her head to look at him.

"I told her thanks, but I want to spend Christmas with my wife," Gil explained, pressing a kiss to the freckles on her nose.

"You did…" Sara agreed, having already spoken to Catherine about it. "But… I want you to have a real meal, Gil. A real Christmas."

"Sara… I don't have to have good to have a real Christmas. A real Christmas means spending time with the person you love."

She smiled a little bit. "Thank you. And that is very sweet. But you should still go," she encouraged.

Gil should his head, "I don't want you to be alone."

"I don't mind, it's just one night," Sara continued. "Besides, I do expect you to come back after dinner."

Sighing, Gil rubbed his eyes and nodded. "Okay, but dinner. And that's it… anything you want me to bring back?"

Sara considered his question for a moment before nodding. "Red wine and chocolate mousse." Her smile broadened. "If Greg hasn't consumed both by the time you get there."

By the time Grissom left that evening, Sara was sleeping soundly and had been doing so for a few hours. He was sure to set up her bedside table with everything she might need while he was away. On his way out he kissed her gently and turned off her overhead light, so the nurses would know not to disturb her.

Sara woke to a perfect view of the night sky. She remembered back to her childhood, the way the sky would look at night, so deep that it appeared 3D, and packed full of stars. Now, in the city, there were only a few scattered across its expanse, the rest hidden by light pollution.

Slowly, she moved her bed into an inclined position and looked around her room, still feeling a little bit disoriented from having slept the entire day away. Gil had carefully arranged her bedside table with all of her essentials, including several puke dishes. Luckily, she wasn't feeling so bad right now and might not need them. On the other side of the bed she found another table with several gifts piled on it. Squinting, she tried to remember if that had been there earlier when she had been woken up to meet Mandy's new baby. She couldn't remember seeing it, and so, she deduced that she had probably had some visitors throughout the day. She felt a little bit disappointed that she hadn't had a chance to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

She thought about what they might be doing now. Most likely everyone in the lab who had the night off and who didn't have family had found their way over to Catherine's house.

She always did a beautiful job decorating and finding the right music and food to set the perfect ambiance. No doubt she would be the center of the party, dressed to the nines and, glancing at the time, flushed from wine, and, if Jim had his way, something harder.

Jim had probably already goaded everyone into a competition of some kind. Maybe cards or a drinking game. The gruff old detective had a way of bringing fun to any party after a few shots of whiskey.

Sara wondered what she would be doing if she was there. Probably winning at whatever game Brass had proposed while making eyes with Grissom, who would be sitting across the room keeping to himself while surrounded by a crowd of their friends. She could see his face now, silently glancing towards the door, telling her he wanted to take her home.

She looked around the room now and felt lonely in the silence and muted pastel colours.

Shrugging, Sara looked over at the gifts piled up on the table. Leaning forward, she pulled it towards her and picked up the closest package. She looked at the tag and found that it was from Catherine and Lindsay. Opening it up, Sara found several bottles of unscented creams and body gels. Enclosed in the card Catherine had included a gift certificate for a trip to the spa. Sara shook her head; it was a very thoughtful gift, but too much. She felt uncomfortable accepting it and decided to think about what she should do later. Maybe offer to take Catherine with her or something.

By the time Sara was finished opening she was stunned at how much her friends had spoiled her. Greg had given her an ipod, already loaded with her favourite music and some suggestions, as he stated in his card. And Warrick had purchased a two night stay package at the Venetian, probably after talking to Catherine. From Jim she received an antique picture frame that would be beautiful in the livingroom and several of the books that she had placed on her Amazon wish list. She was surprised that he even knew how to use the website, never mind that he had thought to look.

She hoped that the gifts that Gil had picked up for their friends were as thoughtful and generous.

Getting out of bed she carefully made her way around to the other side of the room, using the table to support herself. She opened up the cupboard and placed her gifts inside the bag that was hanging on one of the hooks so that Gil would be able to take them home easily.

She was just climbing back into bed after a quick bathroom break when she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Turning around, she found Nick standing in her doorway, watching her.

"Merry Christmas," she announced, offering him a smile.

"Merry Christmas, sugar," he grinned, coming into her room and helping her back into bed before drawing the covers up over her. Once she was settled he pecked her on the cheek and took a seat on the side of the bed beside her.

"You're not at Catherine's," Sara looked him over. "Working, then… that sucks."

"Not really," Nick told her, lifting a small box out of his pocket. "It means I get to see you." Picking up her hand, he turned it over and placed the wrapped gift in her hand.

"Slow night?" she asked, turning the box over in her hands, inspecting it curiously.

"Very, maybe people are finally in the Christmas spirit," Nick shrugged, nodding to a plastic bag on the ex-gift table. "Ma's pie. Apple, I do believe, just for you." Reaching over, he lifted a container out and opened it to show her an individual pie that was about the size of her palm. "She said I didn't need to be gettin' my grubby hands all over your portion while I was cuttin' you a piece. So there it is." Sealing the container again, he placed it on the table, still within reach.

"Thank you," Sara whispered, still holding the wrapped gift. "How much shit did you catch for not making it home?"

Nick shook his head negatively. "None at all. She understood my reasons and, well, there's always next year."

"Still, I'm surprised… I didn't think she had forgiven me for that eggplant casserole… your father either," she chuckled a little, and Nick joined in.

"Well, Mom believes a man needs his meat, and daddy believes that too, but… she didn't hesitate to ask you the recipe, did she?" He leaned in, raising his eyebrows.

"Over my dead body," Sara snorted. "But… maybe she won't have to wait so long after all…"

"Sara…" Nick warned.

Turning her face away, Sara looked out the window.

"What have I told you about thinking like that…" he asked her softly, rubbing her knee. "You're not allowed to go anywhere. You're the heart of our team."

"I'm not part of the team anymore," Sara stated obviously, shrugging.

"Of course you are. Just because you don't work at the lab anymore doesn't mean that you don't still mean a heck of a lot of us. Our team wasn't ever just a group of folks who work together. We're friends and we're there for each other." Nick took the gift from her hand and placed it to the side and took her chin, guiding her up to look at him. "That's our team, and you're the heart."

"You're just saying that," Sara mumbled, sliding down in her bed.

"No way, I mean every damn word," reaching out he caught a tear that had fallen down her cheek.

Pursing her lips, Sara cleared her throat and changed the subject. "I met Mandy's baby."

"Really?"

"You haven't?" Sara asked, surprised that he hadn't stopped off on the maternity floor first. When he shook his head she added. "You should go upstairs then."

"I will in a bit," Nick assured her, taking her hand in his. "After you open up that gift there."

Sara looked down at the small box in her hands and nodded. "What's it like outside?" She asked, slowly tearing off the paper.

"Warm," Nick smiled. "Typical Vegas…"

Sara nodded and opened the small jewelry box. Inside she found a silver bracelet with a small tag on it. With her brows knitted curiously, she lifted it and read the take. "SPCA?" she asked, looked up at him.

"Yeah… well, I didn't know what to give you. And then I realized that you probably didn't get around to making your yearly donation to the SPCA so…" he shrugged nervously. "I took care of it. They gave you that as a thank you gift."

Sara's face lit up and she leaned forward and gave him a hug. "Thank you. I love it."

Nick's arms found their way around her back too and he pecked her on the cheek again. "Merry Christmas, Sara."

Pulling back, he took the box from her hand and removed the bracelet. Carefully he clasped it around her wrist and sat back to admire it. He was distracted when his phone began to ring in his pocket. Quickly, Nick fished it out and read the text. "I gotta run, Sar. Merry Christmas, though." Getting to his feet, he gave her another hug. "Eat that pie up, alright?"

Sara nodded and waved. "Merry Christmas, have a safe night. And thank you."

She watched as he ducked out of the room.