Summer Adventures

Chapter 37

Linda … Again

XXX

"Pony, you need anything?" Two-Bit asked.

I looked up, shaking my head. "No, thanks." I had a headache, but was afraid if I asked for even the smallest type of pain medicine for my head, that doggone nurse would knock me out again. I was tired of sleeping.

"Okay then, I gotta go call home. Let Ma know I'm still kicking. Looks like Karen's gotta stay with her girlies again tonight when Ma goes to work. Ain't no way I'm gonna be back to make sure she don't find trouble. Then again," he chuckled, "maybe it's to make sure trouble don't come crawling in her window after ten. Be back in a while."

"Tell her 'hey' for me." I called. Everyone sort of stopped and looked, I guess they weren't expecting that. I shrugged. Karen wasn't that bad.

"Will do, Pone." He closed the door behind him.

Nearly fifteen minutes later, Steve and Soda were playing cards, Darry was half asleep in the chair. I was lost in my thoughts. Troubled thoughts.

"Kid, there an auto shop around here anywhere?" Steve asked out of the blue.

I shrugged. "Dunno. Mrs. Nixon lives near Hollis. There's two that I know of there, but I haven't got the faintest idea where I'm at right now."

Darry looked at me, wiped the sleep from his eyes and sat up. "Sorry, Ponyboy. This is Chickarde. It's about a half hour's drive west of Hollis."

"West? But, that'd put us in Texas." I looked at him, confused.

"Yep. Texas." He nodded.

Texas ... wow. "I, um. I haven't got any idea about auto shops here. Sorry." Why was I in Texas? I absentmindedly rubbed my temple where my headache was gnawing at me. I knew it was only going to get worse unless I either had some medicine or slept.

"Your head hurting?" Should'a known Darry'd see it.

"Just a little. Don't go getting a nurse for it though. Some simple aspirin will fix it. If you go fetching her, she'd knock me back down until sun-up tomorrow."

"Maybe not." Soda tried.

"I'm not willing to bet on it." I mumbled.

"Stress is not what you need. I'll be right back." Soda folded his hand and got up. Steve looked at his cards as he walked to the door, whistled low and put his hand down too.

"Traitor." I sighed as Soda left the room. Still, I wasn't mad.

"You need rest, Ponyboy. Doc said so, you heard him. That's exactly what you're going to get." Darry argued, some insistence in his tone. I had neither the strength nor the inclination to fight him. I already knew I wasn't going to win.

"I don't want to just sleep all day." I said a little louder, arguing my only point; then quickly moved my hand to my head as it gave a throb in sync with my louder pitch.

"My point exactly." Darry said, smugly.

Soda came back with the nurse just then, who eyed me warily.

"Headache?" she asked.

"Just a small one. I only want aspirin. I don't want to be out for the rest of the day."

"Well, aspirin wasn't ordered. I do have some Tylenol for you." She handed me a cup with two white pills in it. I looked at her, suspicious. "It's only Tylenol. Nothing else." She assured. I took the pills, swallowed them and she left after that.

Darry pushed the button on the bed, laying it down some and forcing me down with it.

"I don't want to sleep, Dar."

"I know. But I want you to rest." Darry made a quick glance at Soda. "We gotta go out for a while anyway ..."

My eyes flew wide open, looking at him in panic, thinking he was leaving me... for good. Maybe those weren't Tylenol. Maybe they were sleeping pills and I wasn't going to see any of them again after I woke up. He'd told me he'd wanted me to choose, but maybe he changed his mind. This, after all, wasn't a choice... it was … it was... a catastrophic debacle! I was certain if they left, I would never see them again. Two-Bit had already left even, under the guise of a phone call home. Now the others were suddenly leaving too? I wasn't ready for the last goodbyes. Not yet!

"... but we'll be back. Promise." He took my hand and squeezed it, and I squeezed him back but desperately held on. I was a bit stronger than I was this morning, yet still not strong enough. I'd never match Darry's strength, not even on my best days. "Pony, I promise you, I'm just going to the auto store with Steve and Soda to get a battery for the truck. We'll be back in a few hours. You lay back and let your headache go away."

Nooo, I thought plaintively. Please don't go.

"Ponyboy, you know if your headache gets worse, the nurse will give you something to really put you down. Lay back and go to sleep." Soda insisted.

Steve just looked at me, reading my expression. "We're coming back, kid. Now shut it and rest."

I looked at the three sets of eyes facing me. If they were lying, they wouldn't all be able to look me in the eye like they were.

"Swear you're coming back?"

"Yes, Ponyboy Michael Curtis! I swear on everything you hold dear. We are coming back. For the last time, lay back and rest. Please!" Soda gently ran his fingers through my hair along the side of my head, smiling some at me. He knew his touch comforted me.

"Okay then. You promised." I nodded. There was nothing more I could do. They left, and the room was silent again.

I listened to the sounds of the hospital, the intermittent beeps of machines, of carts being rolled in the halls, of staff chatting at the desk somewhere outside my door. I dozed some but never really slept. My headache receded then eventually was gone. I felt along where the concussion was, but I still couldn't find the crack in my skull. The whole side of my head just felt like one really bad tender area, a tad swollen, and I thought maybe I should just leave it alone.

I drummed my fingers on the bed rail, hating the silence. I wished I could reach the television - just so there'd be noise in the room, but was too apathetic to actually get out of bed to turn it on. So, I lay there in silence, figuring I may as well sleep - there wasn't anything else better to do.

Then someone knocked on my door.

"Yeah?" I called out, expecting it to be one of the aides, wanting to refill my water jug or offer me yet another magazine that had been out of print since before I was born.

"You bored out of your mind yet, or could you stand a little company?"

I looked over and to my surprise, saw Linda standing there, smiling at me.

"What breeze brought you here?" I asked, a grin of my own taking hold.

"I take it you're not asking me to leave then?"

"Heck no. Come in, have a seat."

She smiled and came in. The door shut but didn't fully close. I noticed she had something big with her. A guitar case.

"What is that?" I asked, as if I didn't already know.

"I stopped by Mrs. Nixon's late yesterday and picked it up. She told me what had happened, with Alex and all. Said you were here but hadn't woken up yet. I see that's changed."

She sat the guitar case down on the bed by my feet. I nudged it through the bedding with my toe.

"Yeah, a whole lot's changed." I said softly.

"Uh oh. That don't sound good." Her tone matched my mood.

I shrugged. We were quiet a moment.

"You cut your hair."

I looked at her.

"It was longer when I last saw you. Looks good."

I smiled. Compliments from girls were not something I was used to. "Thanks. It was getting shaggy."

"So have your brothers been up to see you yet? I can't imagine Mrs. Nixon wouldn't call to tell them you were in the hospital."

She remembered what I'd told her that one night last month. I was impressed. "Yeah, they've been here. They had to go out for a bit." I hoped they were coming back. I had to believe they were coming back. I hoped Linda couldn't feel the fear I felt that they weren't.

She sat a little closer, leaning in on her elbows, looking at me. "What's the matter, Ponyboy? I can see it in your eyes. You're hiding something. Spill it."

I nudged the guitar case more. This wasn't something I wanted to talk about. Hell, I didn't even know how to talk about it.

"Where did the case come from?" I asked, swallowing hard and blinking back what I knew would eventually show up if I continued to think about it.

She sighed. "Got it for a dollar at the pawn shop. I knew you didn't have a case for it. That guitar he gave you wasn't a cheap one. Not the most expensive one on the market, mind you, but not cheap either. Johnny Smith guitars are pretty good quality guitars overall. You should at least have a case for it, and not leave it laying on a towel."

She must have found the guitar propped up in the corner in my room at Mrs. Nixon's. I didn't want the bottom scuffed, so I had a towel under it. It was all I could do at the time.

"Johnny?" I repeated, softly.

"Mmh Hmm. Johnny Smith. He's some musician. That's the maker." She opened the case to show me the mark on the guitar.

I softly ran my finger over the mark and closed my eyes; thinking, remembering. It had been so long ago. She'd never understand the irony. I put the guitar down.

"You gonna play it?" she asked.

"Now?" I asked, taken aback at her request.

"Sure, why not? I didn't lug it all the way out here just to give it a tour of Chickarde!"

"You're still very sassy, Linda. Don't laugh," I warned. She grinned.

I sat the bed up, gave her a wary glance, and strummed some, glad the door was mostly closed. I was better at the piano by miles, but I did manage to get something out that sounded … well, at least not too painful.

"Pretty bad, huh?" I asked when I was done, smiling from embarrassment.

"Not that bad. It was pretty good, for a song I didn't recognize. You just need practice. Don't forget to practice after you get back to Tulsa."

My smile faded. I fingered the strings a moment longer then lay the guitar back in the case, not able to look up. It was as if the issue was there, facing me, not letting me escape it. I knew I would be upset, but wasn't sure how to get her to leave when I really just needed to get this off me. Give it to someone else to deal with. Hot tears fell, and I couldn't stop it. I loathed myself for starting to bawl in front of a girl.

"Ponyboy, I'm... sorry. What did I say?" she asked softly.

Hell, I'm such a weak idiot.

"It ain't you. I just uh... well I don't know..... I um... I don't sort of have a … home... now." I stumbled over my words so badly, I knew I didn't make sense. She pulled her chair up to the edge of the bed and looked at me harder, and as much as I wanted to avoid her eyes, I couldn't. She wasn't judging, she wasn't pulling one way or the other. I felt her hand gently take hold of mine, and for once didn't think about it as a girl holding my hand. It was just someone who was willing to listen. I hadn't had that a very, very long time.

I told her of what a stupid thing I had done, how I had asked Mrs. Nixon to take custody of me if Darry'd lost. I thought that would stay between us until the case was decided in court. "But it didn't stay between us. Somehow, Mrs. Nixon told our social worker, and our social worker told Darry. Now, even though the court has returned custody to Darry, he wants me to decide who I should go live with. I can't believe Darry.... that he would …. give me up... like that!" The tears knew no end. Thankfully, Linda didn't seem to find my blubber fit funny.

She looked at me and cleared her throat. "Who do you want to live with?" she quietly asked.

"That isn't a fair question! Jesus Christ! I feel like this is out of the Bible, where Solomon had both those mothers saying that was their kid. Only I'm the kid, but I have to choose. This is killing me. I'd never give up my brothers. Never! But now, it seems like Darry don't want me.

"So I have to choose.... my family who's ready to give me up, whom I have cost them their very own blood, sweat and tears over, created more anguish and heartache for, who have given up their very lives for me time and time again, yet through it all - I love more than life itself; or Mrs. Nixon, who's been nothing but good to me, has helped me get through this calamity in one piece mentally and physically, and has treated me more like a son than I have felt since my own mother last held me in her arms.

"She's ready to give me a home, a room, and a future that looks pretty good. Better than anyone in East Tulsa could dare to dream to have it. My life or my happiness. How do I choose? Flip a coin? Heads - Darry, tails - Mrs, Nixon? Is that how this is supposed to work? But the choice has to be made tonight! The doctor is releasing me tomorrow to go home. But which home? Who's going to claim me? A brother who's ready to give me away, or a woman who's ready to take me in? I can't make this decision! What do I do?"

Somehow in the middle of all this, she had made it out of the chair and was sitting in front of me on the bed. Her arms wrapped around me, rocking me some. I didn't even realize I'd had my own arms around her too, my head on her shoulder. I let out another muffled sob and let her go, feeling so stupid, so embarrassed and so ashamed that I was once again tripping over my words.

"Sorry about the waterworks. Getting your shirt all.... wet." I looked over and found a box of tissues on the small table by the bed, mopping my face and trying to get back to normal. "So anyway, that's my dilemma. Where is home. Who is home? I don't even know how to answer that anymore."

"Oh please! Sounds like my shirt is the last thing you need to worry about." She smiled and moved back into her chair, but still held my hand. It wasn't like Darry's hand; large and calloused, or Soda's with a strong grip. Hers was soft, with strength belying the smoothness of her skin. I was glad, sort of, that she was here. "Ponyboy, it seems you answered that question a few times while you were talking. You know the answer. You've said it already."

I looked at her. Huh? When did I answer the question?

"What?" I looked at her stupidly. I had to have looked stupid anyway; eyes red, face blotchy, voice shot – all from bawling. I should be an attraction at a carnival. Make some dough for a change.

She smiled, but not one that said she was laughing at me. "You didn't hear yourself during that whole spiel? You know who you want to be with."

"Mind telling me? I wasn't taking notes." I said dryly, back to my regular self again.

"Nope." She got up, slinging her purse strap over her shoulder. "But you'll figure it out."

"I doubt it." I said glumly.

She stood up, leaned over and kissed me quickly when I wasn't expecting it. Hell, I never saw it coming. She turned to leave.

"I don't. You should have more faith in yourself. You'll get it. See ya, Ponyboy." She opened the door, just in time to run into Two-Bit. Literally.

"Well, hello there, Senorita ! Pardon me! And here I thought all the worthy ladies were contained in Oklahoma! Seems I need to branch out some, see what's in these parts!"

"In your dreams, gringo!" She said mockingly as she passed by him. "I'm not your type."

Two-Bit watched her with an odd look on his face, then closed the door. He turned to look at me, all pretense at humor suddenly gone.

"Ponyboy Curtis, we need to have a talk."

Shit.

XXX

Calla Lily Rose