Advice & Trust
Chapter 9.10
Everything I Do...
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"There are three separate surveillance teams watching us right now. One has a sniper rifle aimed at me."
Rei glanced at him. She raised one eyebrow minutely. "Unsurprising. Commander Ikari is aware of what you are. I would have told him automatically before, so it would be suspicious if I had not now. I apologize for the... watchers."
Nagisa shrugged. "At the very least, he suspected I was a spy for SEELE from the start, if he did not know of my true nature before I even arrived. He would have them watching me regardless."
"And how do you know all that with such certainty? I expect Section 2 to be watching us at all times, and our residence always has a security perimeter, but you are not guessing, are you?" Rei stopped outside her door.
He shrugged again. "A facet of my loneliness. I can tell when any other being is observing me. The act of looking at me causes subtle vibrations in my AT-Field. With that, it is easy to extend my perceptions out to feel who it is and what they are doing."
Rei continued to stare at him. "Fascinating. And what does this have to do with why you have followed me to my apartment? The party is over. Depart, and leave me to enjoy observing the light of their souls in peace."
"Following you out was a convenient excuse to leave the party. We both know what they will be doing soon, and do not wish to impede that, yes?" His questioning look at her won a tight nod. "Also... I wanted to thank you."
She eyed him a little suspiciously. She turned to swipe her keycard through the lock and opened her door. "Enter. Briefly."
He smiled, and stepped inside. The door hissed shut behind him. Rei was already removing her shoes and heading down the hall. He took off his own and followed.
She stopped in the kitchen area, which had a table like Misato's. She pointed to a chair and ordered, "Sit."
She vanished around the corner into the kitchen proper, and emerged a moment later with tea and an electric hot water pot. "You have until the tea is ready. Talk. What do you want to thank me for?"
"It was your request that I assist you and Shinji-kun in practicing for the performance at the party, and teaching you viola in a hurry that brought me in to all this. And... playing music with Shinji-kun and you for the last two weeks has been... the best time of my life. The party... the way they both shine when they look at each other..." Nagisa trailed off, a serene smile on his face. "It is good to see him so happy. And I understand more now, that she is what makes him happy. It is... a glorious feedback cycle..."
Rei nodded, then froze. "Stop it."
He blinked at her. "Stop what?"
"That. Being friendly. Stop it."
"I don't underst-"
"Stop being a friend!" Rei almost shouted at him. "I feel a Call too, and Lilith's Call tells me to fight the invader, kill the threat! You are a threat just by living! I don't want to have to kill a friend! This only has two ways this ends; you die or everyone dies! And I will not let you harm them, Tabris!" she finished, panting. She hung her head. "I don't want to have to kill a friend."
He rocked back in his seat, blasted by her emotions. It took him a moment to form a response. "…You are my friend, Ayanami. I feel the same instinctive hostility to you as you do to me. But I keep it suppressed. I do not want to be your enemy."
Rei looked away. "This was easier before you came here. Everything was easier. An Angel comes, we destroy it. My loves are protected. Everything was simple. Then you showed up… you stupid, dangerous… fish." She sighed. "I just want to enjoy their happiness tonight, not… not think about how I have to kill you."
Nagisa looked towards the wall separating them from Misato's apartment, staring at the same point Rei was. The glow they could both see was strong. "They are... beautiful. I read about him before I came. I expected… he would be the purest Lilim heart, fragile and beautiful as a crystal sculpture… but he's more, they're more. I have never seen such beauty. They are separate, alone behind their AT-Fields… but not. They are separate but together, always. I don't… how do they do that?" he asked her, almost begging.
"I don't know."
Nagisa kept staring. "He is happy. I have never seen that before. It's never been like this before. He is not alone. Neither is she." His voice was full of raw pain.
Rei looked back at him, the shift in his tone breaking her attention away from the glow.
A single tear trailed slowly down his cheek as he met her gaze again. "I don't want to be alone, Ayanami-san. It hurts."
Rei stared back at him, sudden realization slamming into her like a lightning bolt. "...You are just like me."
"Please be my friend."
Rei sucked in a sharp breath. "No no no no no no no! Do not do this! Just... I… I don't… stupid fish…"
She stood up, ignoring the now boiling pot of water. He reflexively stood up too, as she came closer, haltingly. "We can't… I can't…" Her hands gripped his shirt again. But no blows or shouts followed. He just went rigid as her arms slid around him and she hugged him.
"I don't want to have to kill a friend," she said barely loud enough to hear. She squeezed him tight for a second, then pushed him away, back towards the door. "Just... just go. Please." She turned and fled deeper into the apartment, sliding her bedroom door closed behind her with a loud clap of wood.
Kaworu numbly stumbled to the door, put his shoes back on, and exited the suddenly oppressive apartment. His feet automatically walked him down the row of doors, into the elevator, and out into the night once he reached the ground floor. He had the vague feeling he should turn around, but thinking was pain right now, so he just let his feet go as they would.
It was therefore several minutes before he consciously noted he was walking directly for the nearest access train to the Geofront. He forced himself to stop. "No... No! I will not!" he growled at himself, fists clenching. His heart hammered in his chest, and he could feel the near onset of panic breathing.
He turned around. He could still see the apartment building he'd just left in the distance. He could see the lesser blaze of Major Katsuragi and Inspector Kaji lighting up their floor, indicating they had already made it to the Major's bedchamber, but his eyes and ears were drawn to the far greater light coming from the other end of the same apartment.
The light of their souls sang to him. That was a secret he had not shared with Ayanami. He did not quite see the light of Lilim souls the way she did, but he could a bit... and much more, he could hear them.
And Shinji and Asuka made... the most incredible harmony he had ever experienced. The finest symphonies he'd ever heard paled into mere squeaking in comparison. It was like the music of the spheres itself, enough that even at this distance it nearly made him weep in envy and longing and need.
'And I have never told Ayanami-san that her light resonates in tune with theirs when she is near them. When she watches them, and I can see that she wishes she was with them.'
He focused on that. The way her face looked when she watched them, the way it made her already ethereal beauty even more alluring. How even at her angriest, she still fascinated him so much. The feel of her body against his just a little while ago. He held that memory tight. Not for any lewd reasons... simply because no one had ever done that before.
He wished his first hug had lasted longer.
His panting slowed, easing. He took a step away from the Geofront access point. Another. Another. He let his fists unclench. "No… not yet. Not tonight. He is happy. She is happy. I…I will not. I choose. I choose. Not tonight."
He wiped way the tears and sweat. The Call was strong tonight. But he could still choose.
'Ayanami-san... Rei... you... you are just like me?'
His apartment beckoned. He hoped thinking of them... or of her, would let sleep come.
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"This is stupid this is stupid this is so stupid we shouldn't be doing this this is stupid..."
Ritsuko jittered from foot to foot in her apartment's living room, the smooth tile cool and slick under her bare feet. She shot another look at the clock. It had only been 90 seconds since she last looked, but her tension kept ratcheting up.
"This is beyond stupid..."
'And you want this so bad you can taste it, Ritsuko,' her brain argued back at her. 'This literally saved your life and you need this.'
"This could get us both killed. This could expose Rei and get her killed. This could blow up so badly because I'm stupid and needy and I shouldn't even have thought about this let alone asked her and oh god she said yes what was I thinking oh god..." she rambled off again. Her pacing got faster.
'You need this. Bad. How long has it been? How long has it been since you were held by someone you know cares about you? Ten years? More? It's not like Mother was all that affectionate after Father ran off with his 'secretary'.'
'How long has it been since you've honestly felt loved?'
"I know!" she almost shouted at herself. "This is still stupid! The whole reason we haven't gone out in public together is that bastard could have us both shot the moment he figures out I'm not dancing to his tune anymore! And fuck whatever happens to me, but he could hurt Maya!"
It had been a stupid idea from the start. She and Maya were cooling down from yet another intense make-out session in her private lab, barely managing to keep their skirts on, when Ritsuko bemoaned the fact Maya couldn't stay the night with her, because she'd be seen coming or going, and that would give them both away, since there could be no explanation for Lieutenant Ibuki spending the night at Doctor Akagi's place.
Maya had lit up at the suggestion. She rapidly confided to her new girlfriend that she'd harbored eager thoughts of the same thing, and how she wished they could do it that night... and finally go all the way.
Ritsuko's worry-spiral diverted for a moment back into erotic fantasyland. Maya, topless, bouncing up and down, practically wriggling with eagerness as she described how much she wanted Ritsuko to 'be her first' had proved her undoing. Ritsuko had stared at Maya's chest and distractedly started to mutter about how she could loop a few of the public corridor surveillance cameras, divert some guards with directed room checks, and order one checkpoint unmanned for 'clear-environment electronics checks'... and give Maya a narrow window where she could move from her apartment to Ritsuko's unseen by any MAGI-connected camera or human guard.
Maya had given her the most blazing grin, followed by an equally hot kiss, rapidly whispering eager, vivid promises to be there as soon as the window was activated, and do everything they'd been wishing for but had had to put off.
Ritsuko had the MAGI programmed and the whole operation set up before terrified common sense had set back in. But Maya had already departed for her place, gathering up supplies and some groceries for a romantic meal to enhance the evening.
Which left one Metaphysical Biology expert now anxiously pacing her living room rug in a silk robe, working herself into a nervous, self-loathing fit.
"You're stupid and needy and weak and you know you shouldn't be going this fast! It's only been a few weeks since you even talked to her and even then you said you knew you were emotionally vulnerable and it was stupid stupid stupid to jump right into a new relationship especially right after a half-assed suicide attempt oh GOD DAMN IT, RITSUKO!"
She dropped heavily onto her leather couch, holding the sides of her head.
"And she's willing to forgive you for being so stupid that you were helping a heartless bastard try to end the world. That's how needy you are. You were willing to do it all for him. Torment Rei, end the world, pick out new kids to get shoved into giant abominations powered by their mother's souls..." She rubbed helplessly at the tears flowing down her face. "You're falling in love with this... this cute, sexy saint you don't deserve. And you're so pathetically desperate for someone to hold you you're willing to risk her life and yours for it. God, you're worthless."
'She likes you, despite everything you've done. And she's willing to risk her life to help you and be with you. What have you done to earn this sort of forgiveness?'
She should just... keep Maya away, keep her far from her, before Gendo inevitably finds out she's not going to be his tool anymore, and... and...
'You can't even just walk into his office and empty that R-92 revolver you keep in the lab into his face. That will just let SEELE complete their plan unhindered by anyone who knows anything about it, and Maya dies anyway. Kill yourself, same problem. The best you can do is figure out how to stop them both, and try to earn the right to love someone as good as she is.'
Ritsuko shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "You're so pathetic. You can't even face your own sins without her anymore. And she forgives you. You're so stupid..."
The soft knock at the door made her jump. 'Oh shit, she's already here!'
Ritsuko unsteadily rose from the couch and nearly ran to the door. She'd had to keep the disruption of the cameras to a minimum to reduce the chance anyone would notice, and this meant she had to let Maya in quickly. She hit the 'open' button as soon as she reached the door.
The door slid aside with a hiss, revealing a smiling Maya Ibuki, wearing a long coat and carrying a couple bags of food. Her smile widened and her eyes lit up as Ritsuko opened the door and she dashed inside. She put the bags down and turned around while Ritsuko threw a worried look out into the hallway before shutting and locking the door.
"Ristuko-se-, I mean Ritsuko!" Maya threw her arms around Ritsuko and hugged her. "I can't believe this is really happening!" Her smile dimmed as she took in Ritsuko's tear-streaked face and pained look. "What's wrong?"
Ritsuko tried to steady her breathing. She looked Maya right in the eye and softly said, "I love you."
Maya's eyes got very wide. "W-what?"
"I don't deserve you and I'm terrible and pathetic but you like me and forgive me and help me and I'm so stupid this is a horrible risk I have no right to ask this of you and I need you and you're so good and wonderful and I want you so much and I-" Ritsuko babbled until Maya halted her with a kiss.
"Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Calm down! I'm here, I'm here, it's ok!" Maya rubbed her hands up and down Ritsuko's back. "I'm right here. I wanted to come. It's alright. Now... go back to the part where...um... you said you love me?" She sounded hopeful, if confused.
It was a phrase neither of them had dared use before. They'd been together mere weeks. Ritsuko had stressed often enough to herself that she needed to be careful, to go slow. That right after leaving the hollow relationship with Gendo was no time to... to really fall in love. Her brain knew all this.
Her heart hadn't listened.
"I was... nervous. Waiting for you," she began. "I... got... got into this depressive spiral, worrying that I was risking both our lives just because I was horny and needy and... wanted to wake up being held. And... and despite all the things I've done you still like me and are willing to help me..." Ritsuko sniffled. "Th-that I could get us both killed if I fuck up, b-but... if we live through this... that I've still got a shot at... being happy because of you." Her eyes dropped away from Maya's. "And... I don't deserve that. But you're here anyway. So... I love you."
Gentle, cool fingers pressed up under her chin, lifting her face back up. Maya stared at her, eyes searching, but expressionless. "Say it again."
"I love you. You're cute and sweet and forgiving and warm and sexy and I don't know how I'd go on without you and mmph!"
It suddenly became hard to talk. Maya's tongue was halfway down her throat. Ritsuko closed her eyes and let her arms wrap around Maya's warmth.
It was a long moment before either of them came up for air. Maya was shaking. "R-ritsuko... I'm so scared! I... I wanted you for so long, and this has felt like a dream... and a nightmare. I... I know you... you've done bad things, and there's... um... a vast conspiracy to end the world that could squash us like bugs... but... I love you too."
It was Ritsuko's turn to blink. "W-what?! Me? I... no no no no you shouldn't you can't this is stupid I'll get you killed and I'll never be able to forgive myself!" she babbled again.
"I do." Maya hugged her close, burying her face in Ritsuko's neck. "I'm terrified and want to freak out and have no idea how we're supposed to stop SEELE and Commander Ikari... but I'm with you. I've always admired you, wanted you, and wanted to be like you... and... that you need me so much doesn't feel... bad, it feels... like I have to be... be strong enough to help you. You... you told me there'd be no going back if I let you tell me. But... that's ok. I mean... if you hadn't told me, I'd be in almost the same danger, and blind. I would feel safer, but... the world could end and I'd never know why. At least now I can fight it, and... be with you. It's worth it."
"I don't deserve you," Ritsuko sniffled again. "You're... pure sunshine, Maya."
Maya gave a laugh into her neck, a note of hysteria in it. "I'm terrified and worried that you need me so much, but... it's you and me against the forces of evil. I'm the heroine of a story all of a sudden. Why shouldn't I get the gorgeous girlfriend to go with it?"
Ritsuko laughed a little in her tears. "You are such a cute little dork, Maya." She hugged her tighter. "How did you get to be the strong one in this relationship? I'm supposed to be the tough older sempai."
Maya pulled her head back and gave Ritsuko a kiss. "Because you need me to be. And I will always give my sempai everything she needs. I can... freak out later. Like, after we defeat the global conspiracy of evil. Then you and I can have a nice long vacation to Hawai'i or something."
"What if we lose?"
Maya shrugged. "Then we're all dead and it doesn't matter? I want to be with you on a sunny beach, rubbing tanning lotion into your back. I've imagined it a lot. So... we don't fail. I want my happy-ever-after with you."
Ritsuko blushed a little. "You... you've thought about this a lot?"
Maya blushed back. "Um... I did mention I had a raging crush on you for months, vainly hoping you were into girls, remember? I thought about you a lot."
Ritsuko's blush faded a bit, but her nervousness went up. "And... happy-ever-after? You... you mean..." She swallowed. "Y-you want something... long-term?"
Maya's blush deepened. "W-well... either we'll be together until the end of the world or... um... e-ever after." Blush still accelerating. "S-so... um... I... um... love you. You're brilliant and beautiful and you need me and I want you so much..." Blush approaching incandescent. "A-and... you love me. I... I used to fantasize about you saying that to me. I would cu-" Maya suddenly slammed her mouth shut and squeaked.
Ritsuko blinked again. "You... you'd touch yourself and fantasize about us being in love? And that would set you off?"
Maya nodded jerkily, looking like a shy tomato.
"But you've never actually had sex with anyone?"
An even tinier nod.
A laugh escaped Ritsuko's lips that was almost a hiccup, or a sob. "Maya... Pick up those bags. We're going to make the best romantic dinner either of us have ever had, then I'm taking you to bed. I'm going to show you just how much reality is better than fantasy. And then we're going to wake up together..." Ritsuko's smile started to grow. "For the first, but absolutely not the last time."
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Misato stared at the phone. This should be easy. She'd done it literally hundreds of times in just the last year.
"But it's not the same now... we know too much. Too many lies..." she muttered. "And I still can't understand why."
She sighed, and picked up the phone.
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"Shh! Shh! I need to answer this!" Ritsuko slapped Maya's hand away from continuing to play with her earlobe and spun her chair back around to pick up the phone. Maya giggled and reached for her blouse. Back to work. "Doctor Akagi."
"Hey, Rits."
Ritsuko blinked and sat up straighter. They hadn't spoken outside the most necessary, clipped professionalisms since the incident with Unit-00. And for the last two weeks, she'd been both too busy and, she was forced to admit, too afraid to even try to call her old friend up and talk. Even Maya's occasional gentle prodding on the topic had produced nothing but mounting guilt over how she'd snapped at Misato, one of her only friends. "Ah... hello, Misato. Um... what can I do for you?"
"It's my birthday tomorrow."
Ritsuko flinched. She'd actually forgotten. "Oh? Not so scared of getting old now?"
"I'm only turning 29, and you're still older than me." Misato's voice was still kind of cool, but at least a ghost of her old humor was filtering back in. "Anyway, Kaji and I were going to go out on some pre-birthday drinking tonight, and wanted to invite you along. Like old times."
Ritsuko's throat tightened. "Like old times," she repeated. Old times. Before she was complicit in crimes that would dwarf Hitler, Stalin, and Mao combined. Did she even deserve to hang out with them anymore? Did she-
Maya finished zipping up her uniform blouse and stepped closer to plant a kiss on Ritsuko's cheek.
Ritsuko's mind snapped back into gear. "Ah, of course, Misato. I'd love to. I've been... meaning to call you and apologize for being a bitch. I'm... sorry I snapped at you like that."
"Oh, that was a month ago, Rits. We've been friends a long time. Apology accepted. So... you're coming?" Misato sounded... hopeful?
"Yeah, I've been.. working too much lately. I could use a night out with friends." She caught Maya's hand before she could turn to leave and held it. Maya turned back around, giving her a curious look. "Maya and I have both been working overtime on this project. She could use the break too. Do you mind if my poor overworked kouhai comes along too?" She winked at her girlfriend... no, her lover.
Maya grinned like sunshine and clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle more giggles.
"Sure, the more the merrier!" Misato replied. "Pick you up at 1830 at Surface Train Station #2?"
"It's a date," she said, winking at Maya again.
"Great. See you later!" Misato hung up.
Maya let her hand drop away and giggled madly. "Ritsuko, is this how you're arranging our first public date? Sneaking it along with drinks with Inspector Kaji and Major Katsuragi?" She leaned over to give the seated woman a hug. "This is great!"
"Anything to make you happy, Maya. I owe you." 'Until maybe I feel like I deserve you.'
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Lieutenant Ibuki smiled as she accepted the drink from Misato."It's really nice of you to let me come along, Major Katsuragi. I know you've all been friends a long time."
The vastness of the Geofront at night sparkled outside the windows of the Tokyo-3 Crystal Cave Bar, offering them a spectacular view as they leaned on the counter. The background hum of the bar made a nice counterpoint to Misato's slowly growing buzz.
Misato resumed her place at the center of their claimed slice of prime viewing territory. It had been her turn to hit the bar for this round. She grinned and took another sip of her cocktail. "It's fine, Lieutenant. Like I told Ritsuko, the more the merrier. This is my pre-birthday party, in theory." She raised her Chocolate Pirate. "See? I have ice cream."
"And I am left bereft of liquor, so that you might enjoy yourself," Kaji mock-moaned from her left. "Well, mostly bereft." He took a tiny sip of the one cocktail he was permitting himself to nurse all night, then a larger one of the accompanying soft drink.
Misato stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm sure your sacrifice will be made good later, you big baby."
"Yup, you're sure a grown, mature woman of almost 29 now, Misato." Ritsuko snarked from the other side of Maya. "You haven't changed a bit since college."
"Neither have you, Miss Fussy Britches," Misato shot back with a smirk. "I can still out-drink you, and I'm a better dancer."
Ritsuko rolled her eyes. She looked to Kaji. "When are you going to stop hanging out with this lunatic? She's clearly a bad influence on you."
Kaji smiled, then looked at Misato, who gave him a wicked look full of promises. "Oh, I think I might stick around a bit longer. Well, after I go to the bathroom. Be back in a moment." He saluted them with his martini, then headed off to the bathrooms.
Misato watched him walk off with an unconcealed ogle. "Yum yum yum..." she said quietly, and took another sip of her drink. 'Fricking amazing that he's just gotten hotter since college. Hell, we all look pretty damn good.' She eyed Ritsuko and Lieutenant Ibuki. They'd both appeared for their pickup in very fine and fancy dresses. Ritsuko was dressed to impress in a slinky green silk number accented with gold jewelry. Lieutenant Ibuki had turned out in a daring royal blue satin dress that had one shoulder bare, with the dress clasped off with a gold brooch on the other. 'I think that's the first time I've seen Lieutenant Ibuki in civvies, too. She's not looking bad either. The men in this club have sure been staring enough. I don't think either of them have noticed, though.'
Lieutenant Ibuki's sunny smile at them dimmed for a moment into a grimace. "Nnng."
Misato cocked her head in concern. "You alright, Lieutenant?"
Ibuki shook her head, her smile returning. "It's nothing, I'm just a little sore. I think I need to hit the bathroom too. I'll be right back." This last was directed at Ritsuko with a even bigger smile.
Misato took another drink, savoring the bite of the 151-proof rum. 'This isn't that bad an evening.'
Ritsuko smiled as Lieutenant Ibuki turned to leave, brushing her hand across Ritsuko's as she left.
Misato discovered that 151-proof rum and Kahlua is not nearly as pleasant when you snort an entire mouthful of it out your nose.
"Ow~! Ow! Ow! Ow! Sunnavabitch!" She frantically grabbed for some napkins and tried to clean her face and top.
Ritsuko turned back to face her, worried. "Are you alright, Misato?"
Misato waved at her. "I'm fine, I'm fine, just... had a little tickle in the back of my throat when I had a mouthful."
'Holy fucking backflipping Buddhas on bicycles. Rits and her minion are... are... That was no friendly hand-pass, and...' Misato watched Lieutenant Ibuki walk away. Now that she was looking for it, the distinctive hitch in her stride was blatantly visible. 'Yup, Maya's walking like someone spent last night drilling her like West Texas. Holy shit, they're fucking. I know it.'
"Soooo..." Ritsuko drawled suggestively. "How long have you and Kaji been back together? Don't bother denying it, I can see from the way you leered at him when he walked away. And didn't you swear 'never again' with 'that guy', hmmm?" she smirked at Misato.
Misato gave her a vengeful glare as she finished wiping her face. Her sinuses were still on fire, but the pain was momentary. She was going to savor this moment for ages. "Oh, a while. We had a good talk a month or two ago. So, how long have you and Lieutenant Ibuki been sleeping together?"
Ritsuko went death-pale. She fumbled her drink badly putting it down on the counter, and it slipped over the edge. It hit the floor with a sharp crash that was almost like a gunshot above the soft background music of the bar. "W-w-what are you talking about, Misato? We...we're just co-workers."
Misato gave her old friend an amused look, but her mind raced behind her mask. 'Ok, what the fuck? I expected a reaction, but she looks like I just threatened to murder her parents in front of her.' "Co-workers, huh? Rits, we've known each other how long now? Ten years? I was your roommate. I know better than anyone you like girls too, not that we're mentioning that one night, and more importantly, I know what you look like when you're dating one. And you," Misato pointed at her, "And she," she pointed off after the departed Lieutenant, "Are definitely a thing. She hasn't managed to stop smiling at you all night, she's walking like she's sore in a particular way, she just brushed her hand across yours as she left, ...and you lit up when she did."
Ritsuko looked around furtively, almost desperately confirming no one else they knew was here. She finally looked back at Misato, still extremely pale. "D-don't... don't tell anyone. We...we can't... can't..."
"Jesus, relax, Rits. I've known you like girls too since forever. Have I ever said anything bad about it? And I will admit, I did enjoy our one drunk night." Misato's weak joke didn't seem to calm Ritsuko much. 'She still looks like she expected someone to come in the door with a gun any second. What the Hell?'
"I... I... just... Maya's got very strict parents, and... and... I don't want this to get out at work, ok?" Ritsuko stuttered. "I... I don't want anything bad to happen to Maya."
'That's the first true thing I think you've said, Rits...' Misato blinked. That was it. 'Ibuki doesn't know. Rits is terrified she'll find out, or Commander Ikari will... ah. Yeah. If people find out Rits and Ibuki are together, they can threaten Ibuki to get at Rits. I get it now.' Misato squashed a nasty thought that she and Kaji could try using the young Lieutenant to weasel information out of her about what Rits was up to themselves, and would if they had to.
"Relax, Rits. I won't say a thing to anyone but Kaji." She held up a hand when Ritsuko looked like she was about to object. "Come on, he knows you used to date girls too, and he's going to figure it out just from watching you two. You both are... it's not hard to see, once you look. You're... a cute couple, actually. I mean, she looks like she's over the moon, and you look... you look happy for the first time in I don't know how long."
Ritsuko's shoulders slumped. "I know. I am. She's... I feel like I've been holding my breath for years, and she's my first taste of air in forever. I feel so much better with her..."
Misato smiled again. "So... what happened? I could tell she was crushing on you since I got to Tokoy-3, but I thought you were ignoring her."
Ritsuko shrugged. "I... she saved me, when I froze up during Unit-00's berserking. She stayed with me until I woke up. And... we talked, the next day. Decided... we'd give it a shot."
Misato's eye's narrowed a hair. 'You were telling the truth... then not. Why lie about it? Need to discuss it with Kaji. If she's lying about how or why they hooked up, it's probably related to Ritsuko's secrets. If she hasn't told Maya what she's up to for NERV... hmmm.'
Aloud, Misato said, "Well, you both look happy, so... good luck, treat her nice, and... I think Kaji and I are going to head home. Not that we're leaving to do a little 'after party' of our own or anything... but it's a convenient excuse that just so happens to leave you both here, totally not on a date, right?" She winked.
Ritsuko smiled wanly, but it brightened when she spotted Kaji and Maya returning. "That's... that's nice of you, Misato. I'm... really sorry for being a bitch before."
Misato smiled, downing what was left of her drink. "It's alright, Rits. We've been friends a long time. We still are."
She took Kaji's arm as he walked up, prompting him to shoot her a curious look. "You and I are leaving," she told him. "We've got an appointment with my futon. Early birthday present."
"For me or for you?" Kaji said amusedly, but shot a 'we doing this in front of them?' look at her.
Misato gave him a tiny nod, and an equally tiny 'look at them both' look. Kaji's eyes didn't widen when he gave Lieutenant Ibuki and Ritsuko a brief look, but Misato could tell he'd seen it.
Lieutenant Ibuki had sat down close to Ritsuko, and grinned at her. Ritsuko couldn't meet Misato's eye, and was faintly blushing.
Kaji's next look at Misato was full of understanding, but he still asked out loud, "You good to grab a taxi home, ladies? Misato seems to want to call it a night already. Getting old must be getting to her."
Ritsuko waved a hand. "We're fine, Kaji. Lieutenant Ibuki and I will get along alright by ourselves. We're responsible adults." Ritsuko cocked her head. "Hey, before you go, Misato..."
"Hmm?"
"How come we're out here tonight, instead of on your actual birthday?"
"Oh, Shinji has a special dinner and a cake for me planned for that night, and I didn't want to disappoint him. So, a little party at home. There may or may not be funny paper hats." 'I wanted to spend my birthday with my family,' she didn't say. Ritsuko wouldn't understand that she really meant it.
Ritsuko snorted. "You and Daddy have to go home so you can tuck your kids in to bed? So ollllld, Misato."
"Blow it out your ass, you old hag," Misato shot back with a grin. She waved goodnight to Lieutenant Ibuki, who was just starting to go a little wide-eyed at the realization she and Doctor Akagi were being left alone together at a bar. Misato chuckled at her expression, and savored it as they left.
.
.
"So... those two, huh?" Kaji rumbled quietly as he drove them towards her apartment. "Called it."
Misato snorted.
"No, really. Saw the way Ibuki looked at Rits, saw it coming. I'd have bet on it happening sooner, but..."
"But what?"
"I was half-convinced Ritsuko was sleeping with Commander Ikari."
Misato left off her staring out the window to give her ex-ex-boyfriend an 'are you crazy?' stare. "Say what? Prince-Not-Even-Close-To-Charming? Mister 'I make Darth Vader look like a great dad'? You think he had Ritsuko on the string?"
Kaji shrugged. "I had some moderately convincing stuff about their movements, and such. And It would explain why Rits never seemed to respond to Ibuki's crush."
"So why now?"
He shrugged again. "Dunno. Need to think about it for a bit. But you think Ibuki doesn't know?"
"Mostly sure. Ritsuko was way more scared at people figuring out they were dating than she should have been. I'm guessing it has something to do with that."
Kaji sighed. "So we might have to look at working on her or them both ourselves. Blackmail, threats, etc... To our friend and her girlfriend."
"We don't have a lot of choice. We know how high the stakes are."
He nodded. "I'll see if I can get into her lab or something. Her file encryption is too good for remote access, but if I can plant something in her lab, or into her network directly..."
Misato nodded. "I can clone my access card, get you in that way, if you can avoid the cameras normally."
He smiled. "I love you. A woman after my own heart."
"Flatterer. Now get us home. I've got a good buzz, and I want you making me feel even better soon."
.
.
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Author's Note, 16SEP16: Kaworu's having a bad night. Ritsuko and Maya a better one. But now Kaji and Misato know they're a couple, and things will change.
Kaworu's in for another serious talk with Rei in the next scene… and then the Angel of Birds comes to call. No one's going to enjoy that. Place your bets for how it goes and who gets hit. All I'll say is canon is no longer a guide here.