Change

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: I realise I am posting these chapters quickly but they are written and I want to get to catch up to the other site I'm posting on. I do appreciate those who have stuck around, it's a decreasing number, but I'm glad you're with me.

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After a hugely successful birthday weekend, Harm awoke on Monday morning ready to face the reality of life in DC and the next event in Mac's challenges. Despite her meltdown on Friday night, Mac felt in enough control herself to contact Dr Mollison and speak to her about the situation. Harm had offered to do it, not wanting anything to distress his wife but Mac was insistent. So, as per their usual routine, Mac dropped Lily off with Harriet before heading to The Pentagon while Harm dropped the twins off at day care before heading to JAG Headquarters.

With a day of meetings and paperwork, Harm waited patiently for Mac to call him, as she had promised she would do. Every time the phone rang his heart sped up at the thought of the state he'd find his wife in, but the call wouldn't come.

After a brief impromptu meeting with Bud in the break room, Harm returned to find he had a missed call. Playing the message he was surprised to find it was from Dr Mollison and he quickly phoned her back.

"Ah, thanks for getting back to me so quickly, Harm. I wanted to discuss a phone call I had from Sarah about thirty minutes ago," she said, shuffling some papers.

"Yes," he replied. "Is she alright?"

"Sarah was adamant she wanted the surgery done as soon as possible and she seemed to be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions," Dr Mollison explained.

Over the next ten minutes Harm put forward his views in regards to Mac's physical and emotional wellbeing and the toll it was taking on every aspect of her life. He had stated that while counselling was a beneficial option, he didn't feel Mac was receptive to it any longer and it may be counterproductive. Faced with Dr Mollison's final question as to whether he was wanting the surgery to take place, Harm had sighed before explaining that he just wanted his wife back and he would support any course of action Mac wanted to take.

Dr Mollison had accepted what he had to say and informed him that she would be calling Mac back to schedule the surgery; she'd just wanted to make sure this wasn't a spur of the moment decision on Mac's behalf.

For the next half an hour, Harm waited by the phone and when it finally rang he knew it was Mac. After sharing her news, Mac added that she knew the doctor had spoken to Harm and that she was grateful for his support. Harm told her he loved her and would support any decision she made.

By the time he arrived home that night with the twins, Mac already had a date for the surgery, Tuesday the following week. She also had an appointment for her pre-op tests, the coming Wednesday. Given her arrangements, Mac was happier than she had been in a long time. Harm could only smile at her relief and newfound calmness; he hoped this was a sign of how things would be in the post operative phase of their lives together.

When Wednesday rolled around, Mac went to work, as normal, but finished early to head to Bethesda for her battery of pre-operative tests and scans. Heading to Harriet's earlier than usual; she was surprised to find a teary little girl curled up on Harriet's sofa.

"What's wrong, baby?" she said making her way over and feeling the child's forehead.

"Don't feel well, mommy," she whimpered, as she climbed into Mac's arms.

"Really?" she questioned, kissing her forehead. "You were okay this morning."

"I know," she said, resting her head on Mac's shoulder. "I felt sick after that."

"I'm so sorry, Harriet, I would never have left her if I knew she was sick," Mac apologised, rubbing her daughter's back. "You should have called."

"It's alright," Harriet reassured her. "I knew what you had on today." She turned her attention to Lily. "Sweetie, are you okay to lie here a bit longer so your mommy and I can have coffee or do you want to go home right now?"

"I'm okay here, Aunty Harriet," she said, lying back down on the sofa.

Moving her chair back from the kitchen table so she could still see Lily in the living room, Mac sat down before taking the coffee mug Harriet was handing her.

"I'm sorry about this," she said, tilting her head towards the living room.

"It's okay," she replied. "She was fine when she arrived this morning but seemed to get quieter as the day went on. I'm not sure if she's actually unwell or whether she's worried about you. I do know though, she's asked about you a dozen times today."

Mac pouted, she hated that her daughter was so in tune with her pain.

"I think an afternoon with mommy and some extra TLC will do her good then," Mac said, looking towards her daughter.

"I think it will too," Harriet agreed.

Home by three, Mac left the afternoon plans up to Lily. All Lily wanted to do was cuddle up to Mac and watch a DVD, which is what they did...or tried to do. Both were asleep by the end of the movie and Mac didn't wake until Harm put his key in the front door.

"Hey, gorgeous," he said, as he ushered the twins into the room. "Everything alright?"

"Lily's not feeling too well today," Mac said as she slid out from around her daughter. "Hello, angels," she said, crouching down and hugging the twins.

"What sort of not well?" Harm asked as he caressed his sleeping daughter's face.

"Not sure," she replied. "No fever, but no appetite, and quite clingy."

"And how are you?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

"I'm okay," she said. "Tests went alright so now we just wait for next week."

The following morning, Lily was still not herself so Mac decided that, as she had nothing pressing at the office, she would take the day off and keep the child at home with her. For the first few hours, Lily slept while Mac did the housework. About eleven, Mac woke her daughter as she hadn't had anything to eat or drink. Lily had some juice and a toasted cheese sandwich before curling up on the sofa. Mac had decided that if the child wasn't any better by later that evening she would take her to the local clinic which was opened until midnight.

It was the early afternoon when Mac got a call from Bethesda to say some of the tests needed to be repeated and could she come in right away. Not wanting to wake Lily or distress her any further, Mac called Harriet and had AJ come over and watch Lily for the hour or so it would take.

Once at Bethesda, Mac demanded the answer to the simple question of 'what went wrong?'

With the technician not prepared to give her an answer and with Dr Mollison unavailable, Mac had more blood drawn and another urine test completed.

"If you'd like to wait, Dr Mollison will be available in about an hour," the OBGYN receptionist had told her.

"Any other time I would," Mac had replied. "But my daughter is sick at home and I have to get back. Please have the doctor to call me."

Upon returning home, Mac was surprised to find Lily was still asleep and so AJ left with the child none the wiser that he'd been there. Putting laundry away in her bedroom, Mac's cell phone rang and she answered it quickly.

It was Dr Mollison.

The call lasted four minutes and thirteen seconds and turned Mac's life upside down.

Lily woke up and stretched before looking around for her mother, she couldn't see her. Frightened at the thought of being alone, Lily headed to the kitchen before looking out to the yard but still not finding her mother. Thinking she may be in the bathroom or the bedroom, Lily headed towards the room but froze at the door when she heard Mac crying.

Slowly opening the door, Lily peeked in and found Mac curled up on the floor sobbing.

"Mommy?" she called tearfully but Mac didn't respond. "Mommy?" she called a bit louder but the response was the same.

Running back to the living room, Lily picked up the receiver and hit one on the speed dial for Harm's cell. It went to voice mail. Hanging up, Lily tried again, pressing three, the one for Harm's office. Once again it went to voice mail. Looking at the list of speed dial numbers, Lily hit number seven which only indicated 'JAG'.

"Judge Advocate General's office, Petty Officer Jennifer Coates speaking?" came a familiar voice.

"Jenny? Lily asked quietly. "Jenny, is that you?"

Jennifer put the call on speaker phone, there was only one person who called her Jenny and that was Lily Rabb.

"Lily, honey, is that you?" she asked quickly.

"Yes, Jenny," she said tearfully. "I need my daddy."

"What's wrong, honey?" Jennifer asked, knowing Harm was in court at the moment.

"Jenny, it's mommy...we need daddy," she sobbed.

Not getting a response to his intercom, General Cresswell had opened his door to catch Lily's plea.

"What's up?" he whispered and Jennifer shrugged.

"Lily, what's wrong with your mommy?" Jennifer asked, looking at the General.

"I think it's her uterus. She's lying on the floor and crying and crying and I went in and she didn't even hear me and I need my daddy to come home. He knows how to fix things, Jenny. Please..." she begged and Jennifer's eyes filled with tears at the pain of the little girl.

"Lily, it's General Cresswell, honey," the General replied. "Does your mommy need an ambulance?"

"No, sir," she replied. "I don't think so...she just needs my daddy."

"Your daddy's in court," Jennifer started to explain but the General shook his head.

"Your daddy will be home soon, honey," he said soothingly. "I'm going to find him now. You just stay on the line with Jenny."

For a couple of moments, General Cresswell stood in the back of the courtroom until there was an appropriate pause in proceedings. When the defence counsel asked for a ten minute recess, Cresswell knew it was the perfect opportunity to get Harm away for the afternoon. Approaching the bench, with permission, Cresswell explained the situation to the judge in hushed tones and the minute they both looked over at him, Harm knew there was something seriously wrong.

With the judge seeing fit to call a conclusion to proceedings for the day, and after the formalities that brought with it had been completed, General Cresswell made his way over to Harm and Harm drew a deep breath.

"What's wrong, sir?" Harm asked not able to wait any longer.

"We've just had a phone call from Lily who is quite upset," he said, packing Harm's briefcase as he spoke. "By the sounds of it, Mac is in some distress and they need you to come home."

"Distressed in what way?" he asked as the General lead him from the courtroom.

"Lily says she thinks it's her uterus but that she doesn't need an ambulance, just you," he continued to explain as they made their way back to the bullpen. "Now, Coates is still on the line with Lily so I think you should just head straight home and let Lily continue with her." His reasoning for this was so Harm didn't delay in his return home nor did Lily become more distressed at the sound of her father's voice.

Heading for home as fast as he could safely manage, Harm had the front door opened before Lily realised her daddy was home. Hanging up without saying goodbye, she dropped the receiver back on its cradle and flew into her daddy's arms, breaking her heart crying.

"It's okay, it's okay, baby," he soothed, scooping her up and smothering her in kisses. "Daddy's home now, it's okay."

"Daddy," she whispered through her tears. "Mommy's so sad."

"What happened, Lil?" he asked, using his hand to dry her tears.

"I don't know...I was asleep ...and when I... woke up ...she's lying on her floor ...crying.... and I went in ...and called her name ...but ...she won't answer ...me," she said, her tears still tumbling.

"Okay, baby, okay," he soothed, kissing her forehead once more. "Stop crying, baby, it's alright now."

"But daddy she's so upset," she said desperately. She didn't know why he couldn't understand just how bad it was for her mother.

"I know," he soothed. "But I can't go and see if mommy's okay until I know you are."

"I'm okay, daddy," she said quickly, climbing down from his safe arms. "Go see mommy."

With Lily on the sofa once more, clutching a cushion to her chest, Harm drew a deep breath before heading to his bedroom the fear gnawing at him since Cresswell had appeared in the courtroom growing exponentially as he neared his destination.

Opening the door he found Mac curled up on the floor, just as Lily had. While the loud painful sobbing had subsided, it started the moment she laid eyes upon her husband. Quickly dropping onto his knees on the floor beside her, Harm wasn't sure whether his wife's current condition was caused by something physical or something emotional. Thus, he wasn't sure whether he could pick her up or not. Mac took that decision from him when she stretched out one arm towards him.

With ease, Harm sat down while simultaneously pulling her into his lap. While she tried to control her crying and breathing, Harm rubbed her back and stroked her hair, whispering his love as he did so. Eventually, Mac was in a state where she could actually think and speak.

"You're home early," she said, wrapping her arms around him.

"Lily called," he replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "She was quite distressed about you being so upset."

"Oh no," she replied, her tears bubbling over once more. "I thought she was still asleep."

"It's okay," he said, caressing her face. "What happened?"

"The hospital called this morning to say I needed go back in today to have some of the tests from yesterday repeated," she said, before taking a deep breath.

"Why?" he questioned, his thumb rubbing back and forth across the swell of her cheek.

"Technician wouldn't tell me why and Mollison wasn't available and as I'd left Lily asleep here with AJ, I couldn't wait around," she explained quietly.

"Okay," Harm said nodding. So far, nothing she said would account for the level distress she'd obviously been experiencing.

"So, I came home and Lily was still asleep and AJ went home," she reported, trying to get her thoughts into order.

"Okay," Harm repeated, not sure what else he should say.

"Then Dr Mollison called and well, she said I couldn't have the surgery and I just lost it," she said, her tears starting once more. "Harm, I've spent the last months convincing myself that this surgery is the way to go...that I don't want to spend my life as an emotional and physical wreck."

"I know, I know," he soothed; he'd been focused on the surgery too. It seemed the best, the only, way to deal with this deteriorating situation. Even he would admit his heart skipped a beat when Mac had said the doctor had said no.

After a few moments, Harm realised he'd missed asking the most pressing question.

"Did she say why she'd changed her mind?" he asked, pulling her closer.

"Said some of yesterday's tests suggested there was something else happening and she had ordered the retests just to be sure," she reported in a breathless manner; her lungs not seeming to have enough air for this conversation.

"And what did today's tests prove?" he asked, using his thumb and forefinger to raise his wife's face to his.

"Pregnant," she mouthed and Harm's eyes opened wide.

"You're pregnant?" he repeated and she nodded.

In that moment, Harm didn't know whether to laugh or cry but looking at the expression of pure distress on Mac's face he quickly realised laughter was not the way to go.

"And how do you feel about that?" he questioned, wanting this to be about her emotions and not his.

"I'm absolutely terrified," she said, a sob catching in her throat.

"Why?" he asked, cradling her head to him as he saw she was about to lose it once more.

"Because the tests I've had over recent months show my uterus isn't in the best condition so I don't know if I can even carry a baby to term and I don't want to terminate the pregnancy but I don't want to go ahead with it and lose him because I don't think I could survive that and I don't want to ...I don't know what I don't want... I just wanted a hysterectomy, I was counting on it...I was sure that was what was wrong with me in the last weeks...I don't feel pregnant..." she rambled and Harm let her. He knew she'd have a million and one thoughts racing through her addled mind.

"You said 'him'," Harm observed, picking the one positive aspect of her rambling."You think this one's a boy?"

"Aha," she replied, using his shirt to dry her face.

"What did Dr Mollison say about the pregnancy?" he asked, keeping her close and fighting every swirling emotion within him.

"That it would be considered a high risk pregnancy given my age, history and current condition but that she believed I could do this if I wanted to," she said, exhaustion creeping into her voice.

"And do you want to do it?" he asked, caressing her face.

"I don't believe in abortion," she said quietly.

"I know," he said, stroking her face. "But that's not what I asked."

"When I started along this path I had spent many nights convincing myself that it was alright that there would be no more children...not that I wanted any more but, you know, it's something that was playing on my mind," she said.

"I know," he said, knowing there was a huge difference between not wanting more children and not being able to have more.

"I mean we have three amazing kids and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise my life with them," she said, knowing a high risk pregnancy was high risk for both her and the baby.

"I don't want you to do anything to jeopardise that either," he concurred, kissing her temple. He didn't want to even imagine what a life for him and the children would be like if Mac didn't survive the pregnancy.

"But this little one is in there, despite all the odds and I feel I owe him a chance..." she said, her hand running over her abdomen. "After all, he has to be a fighter to make a home in such a crappy place."

It was then Harm knew that they would be proceeding with this pregnancy. The term 'little one' showed she had already accepted the child and termination wouldn't be an option. While he would warmly welcome any child that came their way, he couldn't help but feel pained at the challenges this pregnancy would present them and he could only hope and pray that at the end he would have both his wife and his child with him.

Thanks for reading! Love to hear from you!

AN: I'm currently writing ch 48 and hope to finish on 50.