Cruel Love Anthology
Previously: The chapter V is for Virgin starts with Kathryn having talked Sebastian into dumping Annette. He asks her to come along so he doesn't chicken out. Before they can leave they get into a fight about the true nature of is feelings for Annette. To prove he's willing to move on, he decides to collect his winnings from Kathryn. After a titillating round of sex, Annette calls and Sebastian, feeling guilty, decides to go back to her. Once again Sebastian and Kathryn fight and when he initiates anal sex he realizes she's never done it before. Wanting to be her first, he gently takes this last remaining piece of her virginity. Afterwords he confesses he loves her, but admits he doesn't trust her and he still has strong feelings for Annette. When Annette calls once again Sebastian is torn between the two girls.
Author's Note: Alright, settle in, for this is the longest chapter yet. I wasn't going to write any sort of summary, but I realized it might be necessary since this is sort of complicated. Ever see the film Sliding Doors? It's the same concept. In it a woman misses her train and then the story rewinds to shows what would happen if she didn't miss her train. The film follows the two parallel universes. In this chapter we find out what happens if Sebastian chooses a life with Annette and in a parallel universe what happens if he decided to stay with Kathryn. Got it? Here we go.
V is for Verse
I.
"So what's it going to be Sebastian?"
He draws a deep breath and looks away, avoiding her questioning face as it hovers over him. "I'm sorry Kathryn."
Rolling off the bed he can sees her expression, twisted in quiet fury, out of the corner of his eye. Sebastian tries not to think about it and the inevitable consequences that come with blowing a woman as formidable as his stepsister off. Instead, he concentrates on the phone. He's across the room in two long strides and snatches it from it's cradle.
"Hello?"
It's Annette of course. She's striving for casual and perky as she asks after his whereabouts, but he can hear the nervous strain in her voice. Guilt stabs at him as he apologizes, spinning some lie about being held up at dinner with his parents. Sebastian's only half paying attention to his own words as his attention is on Kathryn who's out of bed, snatching up articles of clothing from the floor, her back to him. Her movements are shaky reminding him of the vigorous pounding her body received from him. Once again his stomach turns with guilt and he wants to call out to her to wait, hold on, stop, but he knows he can't. If he wants to hold on to Annette, and he realizes when he hears the unwavering trust in her voice that he does want a future with her, he has to make a clean break from Kathryn.
His step-sister doesn't finish dressing and she doesn't look at him as she storms out the door then slams it loudly behind her. Sebastian slumps back against his desk and sighs.
"I'll see you soon Annette."
.
.
"So what's it going to be Sebastian?"
He cups her face and studies her expression. Kathryn's ever present mask is in place, but just around the edges he can see something else. Vulnerability, or as close to vulnerability as he's ever likely to find in her and he knows. He knows just as he knows his own name that for once she's not going to screw him over. Sebastian drops a kiss on her forehead then gets out of bed.
Crossing the room he picks up the ringing phone only to drop the receiver back in the cradle. The ringing ceases. He then picks it up again and rests it on the desk. The bedroom fills with the sound of a dial tone. Sebastian leans against his desk, arms folded to his chest. "So," he addresses her, "Are you still interested in that bath?"
Kathryn smiles.
.
II.
It's safe to say the night is an unmitigated disaster. They return from the Manchester formal like a couple of war refugees, shell shocked and exhausted. Sebastian ushers Annette into the sanctuary of his bedroom. She's wearing his suit jacket over her pretty pink dress, clutching the labels in her small fist. Her whole body is trembling and her eyes are red from crying. Gazing at his broken girlfriend as she sags down to the bed he feels helpless.
He should have seen this coming. Things had been too quiet for too long, but he let himself get trapped in the bubble with Annette. He got swept up in the romanticism of the night. Annette looked so beautiful and she was practically glowing all night thanks to the new found attention from their peers. Sebastian started to grow suspicious as the night wore on, but at that point it was too late.
The pictures were already circulating.
Those fucking pictures. There were fairly innocent by his own standards, but looked through the eyes of Annette they were dirty and pornographic. Sebastian's gaze swept over his bedroom. He would have to do a thorough inspection later after Annette left. He didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was. Then again knowing Kathryn, she already had the camera removed.
Sebastian caresses her hair and struggles for the right words. "Annette I know this seems bad, but trust me, give it a week or two and everyone will forget those pictures."
"My father won't," she whispers sadly. "You should have seen the way he looked at me Sebastian."
Oh he had seen it alright, but it was nothing compared to the way he looked at him. Sebastian thought he was going to take a swing at him. If that hadn't been in public and at a school function he just might have.
Annette looks up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "I don't understand, why does she hate me so much Sebastian? I've never done anything to her."
He swallows thickly at the question. Kathryn might have had most of the adults fooled, but her mean girl tactics were one of Manchester's worst kept secrets. Even if they weren't, Annette had seen right through his stepsister's act on their first meeting. Of course she never called her out on it, she just casually remarked that his sister seemed 'nice' with a wry smile. At the time he had been so fucking proud of her for seeing Kathryn's bullshit for what it was. Now however, as she looked up at him questioningly he kind of wished his girlfriend was a little less clever.
"It's not you Annette," he quickly assured her taking a seat beside her. "It has nothing to do with you."
Her gaze seemed to study him a moment before she spoke, her voice hesitant. "Sebastian did you two ever...did something happen between you and Kathryn?"
This wasn't the first time the question had come up before, but in the past Annette had never asked so frankly. Just like before he quickly shut it down. "Of course not Annette. There are some lines even I won't cross."
He couldn't be sure if she believed him or not because she started crying again. Sebastian held her in his arms and let her cry, trying and failing to come up with the right comforting words. Then he heard it. The distinct sound of his stepsister's purposeful steps in the hallway. Apparently she ditched the after parties in favor of soaking in her victory. Kathryn had always been much more into the carnage of a good kill than he was.
"Annette how about a bath? It might make you feel better."
When she nodded in agreement he took her to the bathroom and drew a hot bath. Once she was soaking in bubbles, already appearing more calm and relaxed, he slipped out of the room under the guise of getting them something to eat. Closing the door gently behind him, he turned around to find Kathryn leaning against the opposite wall, a self satisfied grin on her face.
Sebastian stepped towards her, righteous anger hot and electric coursing through him. Then he stopped, remembering Annette was nearby and he wouldn't want Kathryn to draw attention.
"Are you pleased with yourself?" he snarls menacingly at her. "You completely destroyed her."
Kathryn's smile deepens as she pushes off the wall and closes the gap between them. Her nails press against his chest and she bats her eyelashes up at him almost flirtatiously. "Mmm, this was nothing. This was me clearing my throat." Her hand slips down to press against his groin. "Wait until I really get started."
Sebastian quickly snatches her wrists then slams her back against the wall. Kathryn winces when her head hits the wall and she struggles against his grip. He wants to scream at her, threaten her, but instead he finds himself gritting out between clenched teeth, "You're making me hate you."
Kathryn tosses her hair out of her face and huffs, "Like I care. Now let me go before I scream so loud your little milk maid will come running."
Reluctantly he lets go and she pushes away, sending one last withering glare over her shoulder before heading to her own bedroom. He just about let's her escape before calling out, "You know you're not the only one with incriminating pictures sis." She pauses and turns back to face him, arching a questioning eyebrow. "If you recall I took a couple of my own."
He is of course referring to their infamous night together, but he won't acknowledge it unless he absolutely has to. Kathryn appears a little uneasy, but she holds her head up calling his bluff. "I destroyed that camera."
"The camera yes, but not the film. Unless you want me to do a little circulating of my own I suggest you leave Annette the hell alone."
"You show her those pictures and she'll hate you"
"Maybe," he agreed as he swaggers up to her, hands in pockets. Standing before her he drank in her spiteful expression. She really did loath him. He supposed in some ways he did deserve it, but he would be damned if he let Annette pay the price for his crimes. Fingering a tendril of her hair he mused, "But at least if I go down, you'll go down with me. Is it really worth sacrificing your reputation just to wound me?"
Kathryn slaps his hand away and something flashs in her eyes. For a second he though she might actually call his bluff, but he knew her, he knew her better then anyone. There was nothing she held more dear than her precious reputation, not even her thirst for revenge. Therefore, he wasn't surprised in the least when she caved. However he'd be lying if he said he wasn't the tiniest bit disappointed.
"Fine. You win. I'll leave her alone," she replies her voice flat and emotionless.
Sebastian nods. "Good. I-
She slams the door in his face before he can finish his thought and doesn't speak to him for two months.
.
.
"Kathryn let me in"
Sebastian loiters outside her bedroom door waiting for a response that doesn't come. He knows she's there, the maid confirmed as much after he sweet talked his way inside. No simple feat seeing as his former stepmother had him banned.
"Kathryn?" he demands growing irritated, "Kathryn?!"
When he goes for the door he's surprised to find it open. He hadn't even tried figuring she locked him out. Stepping inside he discovers the room quiet and empty. Kathryn's new bedroom is vastly different from her old one. The walls are a dark gray, the furniture is white and the accents are all crystal. It feels softer than the former ice chamber she called a bedroom.
Two weeks after they first slept together, their parents came home from their summer in Bali only to announce they were separating. Sebastian later found out this was Kathryn's doing after she sent her mother some incriminating photos of his father. At first this was taken as good news. As much as it amused Sebastian to be fucking his 'sister' he'd prefer not to have the taboo attached to them. Not that it mattered anyway, Kathryn was insistent they keep it quiet which he was fine with. She wasn't the only one with a reputation to protect.
It soon became clear however, that separate homes made sneaking around difficult even with absentee parents. When Tiffany found him sneaking out of her daughter's room one night half dressed it made it damn near impossible. All of this could be dealt with however. They were both clever and deceptive enough that if they wanted to see each other they would, it was the fact that Kathryn seemed to be going out of her way to avoid him the past couple of days that concerned him.
As he steps further into the room he hears someone in the bathroom. Without knocking he opens the door and finds her soaking in the claw foot tub. Her pretty face is twisted in a scowl. "Fuck off Sebastian."
Ignoring her he leans against the doorway, arms folded, his gaze dropping to her tits hovering above the water. "You're avoiding me. I think I deserve to know why."
"You deserve shit," she spits out looking away from him.
"I know I haven't done anything wrong-
"Yes, because you never do, right?"
Sebastian's gaze narrows at her and he pushes off the wall, striding over to the tub. "What the fuck is up your ass? Is this about your mother because I-
"I'm pregnant Sebastian"
He looks down at her in utter disbelief thinking at first she might be fucking with him, but there's no triumphant smile, no gotcha. Kathryn just looks sick as she sinks further into the tub. Sebastian swallows past the lump in his throat and asks, "Are you sure? Did you take a test?"
"I took six," she sighs. "All positive."
Sebastian runs a hand over his face. "Shit. I thought we were protected." He's very careful not to place the blame on her, but they almost never use condoms and she supposedly was on the pill.
"Nothing's a hundred percent, you know that"
He did now. Sebastian struggles for the right response, but his mind is too busy trying to process all this. As he's silently freaking out Kathryn speaks up her voice tiny but firm, "I cannot have a baby Sebastian."
As soon as he hears that a wave of relief washes over him, then he feels immediately guilty. It must show on his face because she rolls her eyes at him. "Jesus, you didn't actually think I'd go through with it did you?"
Realistically no, but he can never be sure with her. She could have told him right off the bat that she wasn't going to keep it, but he imagines she drew a certain pleasure in making him squirm. Sebastian doesn't call her on it figuring she's likely been through enough. He takes a seat on the edge of the porcelain tub and reaches for her hand. "I'll make the arrangements," he assures her rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "You won't have to go through this alone."
Kathryn flicks her hand away. "I can take care of it on my own."
She of course will never admit to needing anyone, even when she does. Part of him respected that even though her unrelenting pride could be fucking annoying. "I imagine you can, but that won't stop me none the less."
They stare each other down a moment then he gets to his feet and begins unbuttoning his shirt. Kathryn rolls her eyes and remarks dryly, "I'm not really in the mood Valmont."
"Shut up," he orders toeing off his shoes, "And move over."
She stays where she is looking back at him unimpressed. Sebastian strips everything off then climbs in behind her. Sliding a hand up her shoulder he guides her back to lean against his chest. She reluctantly complies, but she's stiff against him as if she doesn't quite trust it. He wraps an arms around her holding her close. "Are you alright?" he whispers against her temple.
There's a long beat of silence before she replies, her voice soft. "I'll be fine."
Sebastian kisses the side of her face. "Yes, you will be."
Kathryn finally relaxes against him, letting the weight of her body rest atop him and pressing her face against his shoulder. They sit in the water until it grows cold and then he carries her out and dries her off.
After she terminates the pregnancy she'll tell him she thinks they should put some space between them. Sebastian will fight her on it of course. She'll be aloof and bitchy to him for a few days, before crawling into bed with him one night, a little drunk and sorrowful. She'll whisper she loves him and in the morning they will both pretend she never said it.
.
III.
"To the bride and groom!"
Sebastian raises his glass in the air, toasting his father and new stepmother. The crowd follows suit before erupting in applause and laughter. He finishes off his glass of champagne in two long sips, his eyes meeting his father's across the ballroom. Edward was as smug as he's ever seen him with one arm wrapped around his new bride and the other wrapped around a glass of scotch.
Sabrina Heart (now Valmont) was a B-list television actress who was closer in age to Sebastian than she was to his father. She was beautiful and vapid as hell, but if she made the old man happy who was he to complain? Besides, it could have been worse. He could have married another Tiffany.
Just thinking about his former stepmother makes Sebastian eager for another drink. He heads off the dance floor where he delivered his best man toast and makes his way over towards his table. Annette greets him with a smile. "You were so good!" she coos with laughter. "I almost cried."
"Yeah, yeah," he grouses dropping into his seat beside her then leaning over for a kiss. When they break away he admires her beauty. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are warm and slightly glassy from the champagne. Sebastian laughs nuzzling his nose against her neck. "You're drunk."
"No!" she exclaims horrified before erupting in giggles. "I'm just happy and that was a really good speech."
He nods charmed by her earnestness. He loves her when she's like this, light, smiling and goofy. She reminds him so much of the girl he fell in love with. They just finished their first semester at Yale and it had been tough. Well for Annette. Sebastian didn't really care one way or another about school, he was only attending to be with her. She had been stressed during finals so it was nice to see her finally relax.
"I can't believe your father found someone so quickly after the divorce," she mused finishing off her drink.
"Yes that is a wonder," he remarks dryly.
Annette had always been fairly susceptible to the Valmont charm and had never seen his father for the sleaze he could sometimes be. He supposes he should be thankful for this.
Wrapping her arms around his neck her gaze finds his. The levity leaves her face for a moment. "Speaking of your former family...have you seen her recently?"
Of course he knows who she's referring to, but he plays dumb. "Who Tiffany? Hell no."
Annette shakes her head. "Um, no, Kathryn."
Her face pales as she murmurs her name. His stepsister kept her promise to leave Annette alone after that night, but the damage was already done. Annette still carried the emotional scars. They almost never discussed Kathryn. Everyday Sebastian thanks god or whoever it is who looks after fuck-up's like him, that she never found out about the bet or anything about his past with his former stepsister. There was no question in his mind he would have lost her for good.
Sebastian sighs and brushes the hair off her face. "No, I haven't seen her since graduation and the truth is I'll probably never see her again."
As he says it something settles in the pit of his stomach that makes him shift uncomfortably against his girlfriend. For once he isn't full of shit. The last time he spoke to Kathryn was at graduation right after her mother left his father. They had passed in the hallway and she had barely acknowledged him. Sebastian hadn't been surprised. Their relationship had gone from strained to non-existent ever since he threatened her reputation. He knew it was for the best, just one look at the relief on Annette's face told him as much. However it didn't make him miss her any less.
Kathryn was at Harvard now, likely ruling over the underclassman. Occasionally, late at night if he was by himself and maybe drunk he'd stalk her online or get an update from Blaine when he saw him, which wasn't often. Otherwise she was no longer a part of his life. Which was fine. He doesn't think of her much anyway.
Except when he does.
.
.
"What are you writing?"
"It's none of your concern"
Sebastian, dressed in boxers and a silk print robe, is propped up against the shitty oak dorm bed. A leather notebook is on his lap and a ballpoint pen hovers above the page as he scrambles for his misplaced thought. Besides him Kathryn laid in his favorite blue Prada dress shirt unbuttoned to reveal her black matching bra and panties. It's miserable and hot for early April and the dorm's barely functional air conditioner isn't providing any relief. Not for the first time Sebastian cursed his decision to spend the first year of college in a dorm. You would think at fucking Harvard they could at least provide better amenities than a third world youth hostel.
Bored and unable to get comfortable Kathryn keeps flipping from her back to her side. She let's out a huff of annoyance as she rolls over to face him. "I thought you gave up that queer journal of yours in high school?"
"This is something else," he grumbles. He does still keep a journal and he updates it frequently, though privately. What he was currently working on was the first chapter of a novel. He keeps that to himself however not wanting to incite any ridicule from her. Besides, he could barely get through the first sentence, completing a whole book was starting to look like a pipe dream.
Especially when she kept distracting him.
Running two fingers up his leg Kathryn announced, "I'm bored. Let's play."
Sebastian doesn't bother to look up from his writing as she slips her hand up his boxers. He let's her get almost there before removing it. "Play with yourself Kathryn I'm in the middle of something."
This is of course was the absolute wrong thing to say to her. Kathryn's never learned to take rejection. He kind of assumes she'll stomp out of there all pissy which is fine with him, as he'll be able to get some work done, then maybe afterwords he'd hunt her down for some epic make-up sex. As usual however, she had other ideas.
Grabbing his book she tosses it aside and straddles his waist with catlike grace. She flicks her tongue over his lips. "Valmont I'm bored and horny," she coos.
"You're always bored and horny," he retorts amused. "I'm pretty sure someday it will be the title of your autobiography."
He can feel the heat radiating from her cunt so he knows her desire is genuine and not some manufactured game to regain his interest. It makes his dick stir with interest, but he needs to get back to work. "Isn't there some lowly underclassman around you can amuse yourself with? What about that sophomore that was following you around? He would probably be quite thankful to spend an hour or two under your expert tutelage."
She cocks an eyebrow by way of answer then unhooks her bra revealing her perfect, pale, tits. "You're suggesting I waste this on him?"
Sebastian purses his lips and considers his breasts. Leaning forward he takes one of her pink, puckered nipples into his mouth and sucks on it hard. Kathryn squirms on top of him seeking friction. When he feels her rub up against his burgeoning hard-on he has to will himself not to react. Pulling away from her he sighs. "As lovely as this is I really have to get back to work."
Annoyance flashes in her eyes but she keeps cool. "Fine. Perhaps I'll go see if Conner Mathews is interested." Her lips curve into a devilish grin.
Conner Mathews was Harvard's recent Hollywood movie star transplant and everyone was trying to get to him. Sebastian noticed him flirting with his former step-sister a few days prior. What she (and most of the campus) didn't know however was that the guy was a closeted homosexual. Sebastian considered letting her find this out for herself, but he was too eager to rub it in her face. Teasing two fingers against her panties he smiles as he explains, "Unless you have a penis hiding in here I doubt he'll be very interested."
Her expression morphs into comic disbelief."Seriously?"
"Afraid so." Kathryn rolls her eyes in annoyance and Sebastian takes this opportunity to remove her from his lap. He tossed her down beside him and retrieved his writing materials. "Now Kathryn,this is what I like to call quite time," he speaks in the same condescending manor he once used with Cecile Caldwell. "So if you're going to insist on staying keep your trap shut."
"Asshole," she hisses under her breath, but says nothing more.
She's quiet for a few minutes and that alone is enough to distract him because Kathryn is rarely ever quiet unless she's plotting. He decides to let it go until he notices out of the corner of his eye her reach for something is the bedside drawer. Sebastian thinks nothing of it and tries to focus on his writing. He doesn't get very far—not when he hears that familiar buzzing sound. His eyes drift away from the page to find Kathryn rubbing a vibrator over her breasts.
"You got to be kidding me," he grumbles.
"What?" she asks all faux innocence as she shimmy's out of her panties, "You told me to play with myself."
He can feel the retort on his tongue but he curbs it, knowing that's what she wants. In truth he should have just gotten the hell out of there, but why should he? This was his room and he wasn't about to be chased out by his psychotic quasi-girlfriend. He wasn't about to give in either—no matter what his rapidly hardening cock was telling him.
Letting out an annoyed sigh he shakes his head and returns to his writing, scribbling down what he's sure is nonsense as he struggles to ignore what she's doing with that toy. Sebastian gets two paragraphs written and nearly forgets all about the girl masturbating in his bed until she starts moaning. Soft little kitten whimpers at first, barely audible really, before morphing into pornographic shrieks of pleasure. It's at least partly theatrical, but he finds himself side eyeing her all the same.
The vibrator, turned at the highest setting (if his ears are correct) is pressed between her splayed legs, the tip buzzing against her hyper sensitive clit. Kathryn is trembling with pleasure, this much he knows isn't an act. Neither is the wetness coating the plastic purple toy. If he allowed himself to give into her he would have removed the vibrator from her greedy cunt and made her suck it clean, just like he made her do with his fingers and his cock. Then he thinking about it. Fucking her mouth, fucking her pussy, her ass...
"Oh god," she pants, her eyes fluttering shut her hips jerking and rocking against her hand. "Shit yes, fuck me...Conner..."
There's the smallest hint of a smile on her lips, but he's past caring. Rising up on his knees he tosses his forgotten writing aside and angrily removes his robe. "That's it," he huffs grabbing the toy from her hand and throwing it away. It hits the opposite wall and immediately stops buzzing. Kathryn's eyes shoot open, surprised and excited. Before she can crow victory over him he grabs her by the ankle and yanks her to the center of the bed. Mounting her he warns menacingly, "Now you're in for it."
.
IV.
Two weeks into their junior year of college, Annette finds out she's pregnant.
They are renting an apartment off campus that year. When Sebastian's art history class gets out early he decides to head home to catch some sleep. He expects Annette's at school so he's surprised when he hears her in the bedroom. "Baby?"
She's sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest and tears in her eyes. There's three pregnancy tests in her hand. Thinking she's hurt, Sebastian quickly goes to her only to stop in his tracks when he spots the tests. He wavers on his feet as if he's going to pass out. "Are those what I think they are?"
Annette sniffles and wipes her nose. "If you're thinking three positive pregnancy tests, otherwise known as a wrecking ball through our entire future, then yes."
"Shit." Feeling as though he's just been socked in the gun, Sebastian sinks down on his knees in front of her and places a hand on her leg.
Annette covers his hand with hers as her eyes fill with fresh tears. "Sebastian what are we going to do?"
For once he doesn't have an answer.
.
.
Everything goes to shit one afternoon in June. They're back in the city, visiting a college acquaintance who recently bought his first town home. Everyone's gathered in the small garden, drinking good wine and bullshitting each other the way only twenty-something wasps can. Sebastian's sharing a joint with their host when he asks if he knows who Kathryn is fucking these days. "Yeah," he snickers in between hits, "Me."
Maybe it's the drugs but he doesn't really think anything of it until he catches Kathryn glaring at him from across the patio. Evidently their conversation hadn't been as private as he thought.
Sebastian doesn't see what the big deal is. They had been together on and off for nearly three years at that point, sometimes monogamous sometimes not, as they stumbled their way through their version of a relationship. For the most part they kept it to themselves. Sure they didn't announce it to their family or friends and they didn't attend things as a 'couple' but it wasn't like a secret—or so he thought. Judging by the look on her face he was clearly mistaken.
Kathryn ices him out the whole way home. The longer they sit in silence the more annoyed Sebastian grows until he finds himself just as pissed off as her. So he admitted publicly they were fucking, so what? Was she seriously ashamed of it even after all these years?
By the time they arrive at the apartment they are renting that summer (a loft in Tribeca overlooking the Hudson, his choice of course, not hers) they are both spoiling for a fight. It's easily one of the most vicious rows they've ever had which is saying something seeing as they consider fighting a form of foreplay. Sebastian's rather surprised one of their neighbors doesn't alert the authorities—especially when Kathryn starts throwing things.
It boils down to this: Kathryn wants to keep their private life private fearing if word gets out that she's fucking her former step-brother (not to mention a notorious womanizer) her precious reputation will be shot to shit. Sebastian thinks she should get over it. They weren't in high school anymore, who gives a fuck? He was sick of this undercover bullshit. Enough was enough.
"Funny you didn't seem to mind when I looked the other way while you screwed anything in a skirt just so you could remain the stud of the upper east side," she snarls, hands wrapped around the back of an arm chair like she's considering picking it up and hurling it at him.
"That was high school!"
"That was last semester!"
Sebastian throws his hands up in frustration. "So you want to be monogamous, is that what this is about? Fine. From now on I fuck only you."
"Maybe not even that," she huffs under her breath as she begins to pace.
He's not sure if he was meant to catch that, but he calls her on it. "Meaning what?"
Kathryn stops in her tracks and stares at him a long second before announcing, "Perhaps we should give it a rest for the time being."
Sighing he collapses on the couch. Figuring she means fighting he agrees, "That's fine I'm exhausted. Do you want to get something to eat?"
She shakes her head. "No Sebastian, I mean us. I think we should take a break for a little while."
He's genuinely thrown by this. They've fought a lot through the years, threatened to never speak to each other, promised to hate one another for all eternity, but never this. She never threatened to leave him before. It doesn't take long for Sebastian's shock to turn to anger. Rising to his feet he growls, "Are you shitting me with this? You want to break up? After everything we've...after Annette and the baby, high school, college..."
She shrugs elegantly as if all of that means nothing to her. Maybe it doesn't. "This isn't going anywhere Valmont. If you stand back and look at this realistically you know I'm right. We can't keep on like this forever." She sighs, "Everything ends eventually."
"Jesus, is there another cliché you want to add to that pile?" he snarls. "How about, it's not you it's me?"
"Sebastian-"
"I love you!" he blurts out, desperate and a little embarrassed. He can count on one hand the number of times he's told her that and during half the instances he was wasted. They never said it, but they knew it. At least he did. When she only stared back at him with that perfect mask of indifference he exploded. "God dammit Kathryn! This is all about your fucking reputation isn't it? You're so fucking worried mommy won't love you anymore if you toe one step out of line-
"Fuck you!" she snarled back with renewed energy. "I'm done with this."
She makes to storm out of the room, but he grabs her before she can. Clutching her forearms fiercely he snarls down at her, realizing humiliatingly enough he was on the brink of tears, "I always fought for you Kathryn. I was the only one who never dumped you for the innocent twit. I choose you!"
For a second he thinks he's finally gotten through to her when he sees her face crumble slightly, but then like a switch she's stone faced once again, head held in defiance, eyes cold and blank. "Perhaps you choose wrong," she replies her voice as icy as he's ever heard it. Kathryn shakes him off and heads to the door. This time he lets her leave.
Later that night he's considering getting shit faced when he stumbles across a better idea. Actually he just opens his door and there she is—Alana or Elena or something like that, he's not sure. He does know she's an underwear model though and that when Kathryn first laid eyes on her she declared her a second rate whore.
Sebastian introduces himself and it doesn't take much to get her in his bed. Apparently Kathryn hadn't been too far off in her assumptions. It's not pity sex or fuck-someone-else-to-forget-the-one-you-really-want sex. No, it's revenge sex. See Sebastian knows his girl well. He knows even though she claimed to want to end things, Kathryn will still show up at his door at two in the morning (maybe a little drunk or high) and want to make up or at least fuck until they pass out.
Sure enough she doesn't disappoint him.
At a quarter after three in the morning he hears the heavy metal door to the loft slide open followed by the sounds of her Louboutins echoing off the hardwood floor. Soon she's standing in the doorway, dressed in a short black dress, with glassy, slightly intoxicated eyes and a small smile that quickly vanishes when she realizes he isn't alone. Alana-Elena-Whatever, is straddling him, her big tits bobbing wildly as they fuck. Sebastian doesn't slow down right away, allowing her to get a full visual before he addresses her. Kathryn of course isn't one to wait. "What the hell is this?" she demands.
Sebastian collapses against the mattress, one hand on his bedmates generous breasts the other on her hip. "What does it look like? You wanted to end things. This is me agreeing with you."
Kathryn shifts uneasily in her heels looking a little lost. For a second he feels a tug of remorse and reconsiders his actions before quickly shutting it down. Fuck her. She wanted this.
"Sebastian I-
"You choose your reputation over me Kathryn. Well I hope you enjoy it." Gripping whats-her-names hip he resumes his thrusting not bothering to look at her as he sneers, "Close the door on your way out."
Sebastian is done fighting. Not for her. Not for anything.
.
V.
A month before Annette's due date, Sebastian finds himself alone in his new brownstone. He's a little drunk and more than a little bored. Annette is visiting her parents for the weekend and they both thought it best he didn't come along. Needless to say after knocking up their twenty year old daughter, Sebastian is not their favorite person.
Slumped on the couch he's watching bad TV, with a glass of jack in his hand, aimlessly flipping through channels. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the newspaper sitting on the coffee table in front of him, folded to the society section. Sebastian tries to ignore it, but he can't help himself. Tossing the remote down he snatches up the paper and looks at it for the umpteenth time that day. There's Kathryn, dressed up for some benefit on the arm of another blue blood who Sebastian vaguely recognizes from high school. Her hair is longer, he notes as his eyes desperately search for any sort of change to her appearance. She's not smiling, but then again Kathryn rarely ever smiled when photographed. In fact the only picture he can recall her smiling in was one he took during their infamous night together.
He had been doing a good job as of late not thinking about her. In all fairness though his mind had been on other things, mainly his impending fatherhood and all the ways he could fuck it up. Then, just when he thinks he's forgotten her for good and he can let that part of his life go, he opens up the New York Times style section and there she is. Sometimes Sebastian thinks Kathryn will forever be the cipher living just out of the corner of his eye, torturing him with what could have been and almost was. Always there, but never fully realized. Forever out of grasp.
Well maybe not.
Sebastian reaches into his jacket pocket and removes a phone number. Blaine had scribbled down his former step-sister's number and practically forced it on him after he had stupidly brought up the article in the paper that afternoon. Good old Tuttle was never happier than when he was stirring shit up.
He of course had no intentions of calling her, but after consuming three quarters of a bottle of whiskey his judgment was a little impaired and he thought, fuck it. Before he can give it a second (or really any) thought he's dialing. As he waits for her to pick up he is uncomfortably aware of his own heart pounding against his chest. She picks up on the fifth ring.
"Hello?"
The sound of her voice after three years is a like a jolt making him feel suddenly sober and alert. Her usually high pitched melodic tone sounds husky like she just woke up or he just caught her in the middle of some less than wholesome activities. He waits a beat before asking as much.
"Did I wake you or am I interrupting something?"
There's a long stretch of silence during which Sebastian finds himself holding his breath wondering if she'll hang up on him. He wouldn't really blame her if she did. There's a sigh and when she speaks she sounds like her old self, her voice a caustic purr.
"Neither actually. You on the other hand sound loaded."
Sebastian stares at the amber liquid in his glass before setting it down. They both know there's no way he could make this call without being at least a little inebriated, but he plays it off.
"Not really."
"Uh huh"
Another stretch of silence and he knows she's waiting for him to make the first move. Sebastian picks up the paper and taps his fingers restlessly against it. "I saw you in the Times this morning. I didn't know you were back from London."
"Why would you?" He had heard through various sources that she had gone abroad last year to live. There had been no more information other than that. It was odd to think there was a time he knew everything that went on in her life and now he didn't even know what continent she lived on. Judging from her tone she clearly didn't think it was any of his business anymore and perhaps she was right.
"So who's the guy?"
Kathryn sighs and he can hear the sound of a lighter on the other end. He wonders what she's smoking, desperately wishing he had his own joint right about now. Unfortunately all recreational drugs were off limits with the baby on the way—per Annette's instructions.
"Anderson Van Ryan," she explains.
"Van Ryan? Wasn't he dating that Amanda girl, the one you did a number on in high school?"
She hums in agreement. "Yes. That dumb cunt caught me snorting up in the ladies room junior year and threatened to go to the headmaster. She actually attempted to blackmail me," she remarked with disbelief.
Sebastian smiled as he recalled the story. "So you spread that rumor around that she was actually born a boy and her parents forced her to have gender reassignment surgery because her mother always wanted a girl-
"But unfortunately the doctors didn't do such a thorough job and there was still a hint of a penis," she finished her tone filled with phony sympathy. "You very generously seduced her and of course confirmed the rumors."
"Well in all fairness she did have a rather large clitoris"
Kathryn's responding laugh made him smile into the receiver. "She was completely humiliated," she crowed, "And had to transfer to that school out of state. Apparently she's living in Canada now. How tragic."
"That was some of your best work," he acknowledged with a laugh.
"Yours too"
Their mutual amusement dissolves into a comfortable silence and Sebastian takes this opportunity to reveal his reason for the phone call. "I'm going to be a father," he tells her in a rush.
There's a long second of silence before she responds. "I know"
He's not sure why he's surprised by this because of course, of course she knows. Here he was scrapping by on the tiniest details of her life whereas she probably knew everything that was going on with him. Kathryn always knew.
When she says nothing else he finds himself growing annoyed. "Well? Aren't you going to say something? I would think you of all people would have something to say."
"Are you sure it's yours?"
"Very funny"
"What would you like to hear Valmont?" she asks all her earlier amusement morphing into hard steel. "You're barely out of your teens. Would you like me to tell you it's a good idea?"
"We didn't exactly plan this-
"I would hope not," she huffs.
Honestly he's not sure what he expected from her. He supposes he should just be happy she didn't laugh and hang up on him. Sebastian shifts restlessly on the couch and moved the phone to his left ear. "I'm going to be a father Kathryn," he repeats as if he can't quite believe it himself.
"Yes," she agrees and something about the way she says that one word sounds almost sympathetic, but then she asks with a sardonic lilt, "When's the wedding?"
"What makes you think there will be one?"
"Because there's no way in hell headmaster daddy would let you knock up his only child and not marry her."
Sebastian sighs. She made an excellent point. "It's going to be after the baby's born, it's a girl by the way in case you're wondering."
"I'm not," she replies not missing a beat. "So a child out of wedlock...how scandalous."
Ignoring her mocking tone he explains, "There was just too much to get done before the baby comes and plan a wedding. Annette wants a big one, in Kansas with all her family and friends. I figure it was the least I could do. She had to put med school on the back burner, but she thinking maybe teaching instead. I don't know," he finds himself uncharacteristically rambling. "We just bought a new place, everything will work out." Even to his own ears it sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than her. "I'm really happy Kathryn."
There's a dismissive snort on her end. "Well that's wonderful Sebastian. I'm sure this will all work out splendidly for you," she tells him, derision dripping with every syllable.
"You're a bitch"
Kathryn sighs and it could be the alcohol fogging his brain, but she sounds almost wistful as she tells him, "I never claimed otherwise darling."
.
.
Well wishers flock around Sebastian like eager moths to a flame. All lavishing him with praise and questions as they thrust their books into his hands asking for autographs. He tosses off some clever retort and flashes a roguish smile as he signs their books and participates in their interviews. He's charming, witty and wise. He's also kind of over it.
It's the book launch party for his first novel and as far as these things go it's fairly spectacular. All of New York's elite movers and shakers, along with the insatiable literati are there toasting his impending success. Although the book isn't even officially out yet it's already getting heaps of praise. Everyone agrees that Sebastian Valmont is a BIG DEAL. He's not sure if it's on account of his prose (although that review in the New York Times didn't hurt) or the PR magic his publicist has managed to conjure up ("Upper East Side bad boy is the next Salinger!"), but either way he's satisfied.
He shakes hands with a famous musician and kisses the cheek of his trophy wife before heading to the bar for some much needed spirits. Before he can reach the chrome and glass structure at the center of the party, he's cut off at the pass by Libby Horowitz, his publicist. Her bright blue eyes are are lit with excitement and most likely cocaine as she practically vibrates out of her slinky sequin dress. "Oh my god Sebastian, you are a complete fucking success!"
"So I've been told," he deadpans before moving around her to get to the bar.
Libby quickly falls into step beside him, clutching his arm as she squeals. "This party is amazing. Everyone is here!" When he does nothing more than nod she squeezes his arm. "How are you not more excited!?"
Maybe because he wasn't rolling on half a gram of coke, he thinks snidely to himself. "I assure you I'm happy on the inside," he remarks with a low drawl as he signals the bartender.
He orders a scotch neat and as he's doing so he feels Libby slip something into his pocket. Before he can investigate she whispers in his ear, "My room key. I was thinking maybe we could have a private celebration later."
She nips at his earlobe and he's sure it's meant to be enticing, but Sebastian's not impressed. They've been fucking semi-regularly for a month now and it's growing tedious. He's ready to cut the cord with her but this isn't the right place so instead he kisses her cheek and promises to talk to her later before walking off. Luckily she doesn't follow after him.
Leaning over the railing he gazes down at the lower level of the deck. The party was being held at the rooftop deck of a chic downtown hotel. They were surrounded by the breathtaking New York skyline, but everyone took it for granted as they were all too busy talking and gossiping among themselves. Sebastian himself found his attention diverted by the sea of gorgeous women decked out in skimpy, but sophisticated attire. It was an impossibly warm night for early spring.
He's so deep in his search for his next conquest that he doesn't hear when someone approaches him from behind until she speaks.
"Even more treacherous than he is attractive, he has never uttered a single word without some dishonorable intention. Every woman he has successfully pursued has regretted it. Stay away from him."
Upon hearing that all too familiar refrain he slowly turns and comes face to face with Annette Hargrove. As lovely and winsome as ever, she's wearing a pale yellow dress and a wry expression, his book in one hand and a cocktail in the other. Sebastian's so knocked-out-surprised to see her he's momentarily stumped for a witty reply. He hasn't seen the girl since graduation and hasn't spoken to her even longer than that.
None the less he finds himself smiling. "Annette Hargrove," he marvels, "You should have taken that advice."
"Probably," she agrees sounding almost bemused. "But you live and you learn."
Sebastian's smile widens as he drinks her in. She's even better looking than she was in high school and much more effervescent—there's no traces of the self-righteous girl who's virginity and heart he stole. "You look amazing," he praises.
She blushes just slightly as she sips her drink. "Thank you."
They end up gravitating to a quiet corner of the party, Sebastian leaning back against the balcony as Annette animatedly tells him stories of med school while he wonders at her transformation. The last time they'd spoken was when he broke up with her the morning following his night with Kathryn. He had tossed off something about them not being right for each other, how he was completely fucked up. Annette had been a mess. When she asked if there was someone else he talked in circles until she slapped him and asked him to leave. The break-up was one of the hardest things he had ever done and Annette had completely avoided him the rest of senior year, but now as she stood before him bright and successful he couldn't help but realize he had done the right thing.
That said, he wouldn't mind having another go at it with her. Sebastian's contemplating how to make his move when he notices the diamond ring on her finger. When he inquires about it she blushes and tells him about her fiance Paul or Peter or something like that. He works in publishing, hence why she was there that evening.
"I read your book," she informs him brightly.
"And?"
She smiles warm and sincere. "It's really great Sebastian. Who knew under all that swagger and arrogance lied a man capable of writing such deeply thought prose."
He smiles at the dig. "I suppose I deserved that."
He probably deserved a lot worse and they both knew it. Annette's gaze lingers on his face and she seems to be contemplating something. When she speaks her tone is careful. "So the girl in the book, Katarina...she's based on Kathryn right?"
Sebastian's thrown off guard by the question. He shifts uncomfortably against the railing and looks away from her. Schooling his features into a look of indifference he asks, "What makes you say that?"
"Oh come on Sebastian," she snickers mirroring his pose, "Everyone knew about you two in high school."
He looks up at her in surprise—this is news to him. "Everyone knew what exactly?"
"That you two were, I don't know," she fumbles for the right word, "attached, I guess? You were always together, even when you weren't and the way you looked at her..."
When she trails off with a small knowing smile Sebastian winces inwardly. He always assumed they were much more discreet then that. Apparently not. Exhaling sharply he tells her, "It's not what you think it was."
"Is she who you dumped me for?"
Sebastian meets her questioning stare and considers lying, but doesn't see the point. He answers her with a brisk nod. She sighs. "That's what I thought." She stares out at the night sky and muses, "You know I never really got to know Kathryn in school. She always seems sort of...complicated."
He smirks figuring that was Annette's polite way of saying bitch. Once Kathryn had tried to make overtures towards Annette, but Sebastian had quickly shut it down realizing she was likely setting her up for some sort of ruination.
"Are you two still-
"No," he replies quickly cutting her off. "That's over with." Even as he says it he feels a little sick. It had been eight months since they broken up and in that time he's gotten better at forgetting her—or at least pretending as much. Now he only thinks of her several times a day rather than every five minutes. That was improvement in his eyes.
"Did she read the book?"
"Who knows?"
He had Libby send her a copy, but he never heard anything back, not that he was expecting to. They hadn't spoken since that night she caught him with the model. Kathryn then went about removing all traces of herself from his life.
"Maybe you should call her," she offers.
Sebastian's head shoots up in surprise at the suggestion. If it was anyone other than Annette he would think they were playing him. "Are you seriously trying to reunite me with my ex? After everything I did to you?"
She shrugs and offers him a genuine smile. "Life is short Sebastian and everyone deserves happiness. Even you." She bumps his shoulder playfully with her own before walking off and disappearing back into the party.
Later that night he's back in his apartment after having boring sex with a Victoria Secret's model in the coat closet of his party and he can't get Annette's advice out of his head. Maybe it's the scotch or the bump of coke he did with the model, but he's feeling uninhibited and perhaps ballsy enough to reach for his phone. He stares at Kathryn's number for ten minutes before finally deciding to hell with it.
She picks up on the fourth ring and doesn't even bother with a greeting. "Took you long enough."
Sebastian finds himself grinning into the receiver. "Did you read it?"
She sighs. "Just finished it actually."
"And?"
There's a long pause and he just knows she's savoring making him wait. "It's not bad, although you do tend to ramble on quite a bit. I mean Jesus Christ Valmont, you drag a simple description of a flower out for a page and half. You need to learn to pare it down."
"Thanks for the tip," he grumbles. "What did you think of the heroine?"
"Oh I found her fascinating"
"I thought you would"
Kathryn laughs and then there's a lull of silence. Sebastian's contemplating how best to reveal that he misses her without sounding like a total pussy when she remarks, "You left it kind of open ended. Will there be a sequel?"
He can't help but catch the double meaning of the question and something within him swells in anticipation, but he plays it cool. "I don't know, you tell me."
There's another long stretch of silence and when she speaks there's tentativeness in her tone. "You should know I'm seeing someone."
Sebastian isn't daunted. "You always are. I need to talk to you."
"Oh? I'm confused. What have we been doing for the last few minutes."
"I mean in person."
"It's late"
It doesn't matter. Filled with a sudden rush of adrenaline Sebastian is on his feet, already heading for the door. "Is he there with you now?"
"No."
"Good then I'm coming over"
"You don't even know where I live," she argues but he can hear the undercurrent of excitement in her voice.
He scoffs at her assumption. "Kathryn of course I know where you live."
"How?"
"Baby if I were deaf, blind and dumb I would know where you were"
There's a hum of approval on the other end and he can just picture that chesire cat smile of satisfaction on her face. "Alright I'll leave the door open for you. See you soon Sebastian."
.
VI.
At twenty five Sebastian is the happiest he's ever been in his life. He's deliriously in love with his daughter. Olivia Elizabeth Valmont is unequivocally the best thing that has ever happened to him. It's like all of his and Annette's best characteristics have been fused inside this one tiny bundle of loveable perfection. It wasn't until she was born that he realized he could love someone so unconditionally.
His marriage to Annette is stronger than ever. They have somehow managed to overcome all obstacles that have been throw in their path and he finds with each passing day something new to love about her. Sebastian marvels at the way she takes care of their daughter and takes care of him while at the same time graduating from college and becoming a first rate teacher.
Sebastian himself is working as a fashion photographer. It's not exactly deep and it's maybe not where he saw himself. but it's creative and he makes a lot of good contacts. Eventually he'd like to get in to something more substantial whatever that may be, but for right now he is content.
Content. That was currently the thesis of his life. Gone were the days of restless, uninhibited excess. The old Sebastian Valmont is dead and buried. Most days he's glad for this. He doesn't know what would have become of him if he hadn't met Annette.
His life wasn't perfect of course. There were compromises both big and small, but over all he's happy in the choices he's made.
And then one day he opens up the paper and reads Kathryn Merteuil's wedding announcement.
.
.
Sebastian decides to propose to Kathryn when he's going down on her. Say what you will about him, but he doesn't lack originality.
They had just returned from some charity event Tiffany had spearheaded. His former stepmother spent most of the night staring daggers at him when she wasn't hissing barely veiled barbs in his direction. Sebastian didn't care and in fact took great pleasure in rubbing his relationship with Kathryn in her face when ever the situation presented itself.
For her part Kathryn had let go of most of her hang up's concerning their relationship. She was still Kathryn, meaning she still prized status and reputation above everything, but she no longer felt the need to hide what they were to each other—even from her mother. It took awhile to get there but everything they had gone through had been worth it.
Which was why he knew he had to marry her.
Laying horizontally across the bed, her blood red gown is pushed up around her hips and her legs are spread lewdly in invitation while Sebastian kneels on the ground in front of her, his face buried in her pussy. He was eating her like a man men, using his stiff tongue like a cock as he burrowed inside her and she squirmed against his face. Replacing his tongue with his fingers, her began lavishing attention to her swollen clit, inciting erotic, helpless moans of pleasure that made his cock swell and pulse with need. When he looks up from his space between her legs and finds her lost in her own pleasure he is overcome by not only his love for this insane, complicated woman, but also the deep sated desire to state the ultimate claim on her. He had planned on asking her later that evening, after he made her cum a few times, but he couldn't wait.
Sebastian kisses the inside of her thigh then murmurs against her skin, "I think you should marry me."
He's not sure why he phrases it that way, but that's how it comes out. At first he can't be sure she even heard him, but then she stops squirming against his mouth and he hears her breath hitch. Grabbing him by the hair she forces his head up. Her expression is one of comic befuddlement.
Her voice rough and breathless Kathryn demands, "Excuse me?"
"I think we should get married"
She blinks several times and her mouth hangs open a little like he just suggested they run off and join the peace corps or something. Her gaze then darts around the room like she expects to find someone else in the room. She sits up on her elbows. "Are you seriously proposing to me while you eat me out?"
"It would appear so," he replies dryly. Sebastian nuzzles his nose against her wet mound, luxuriating in her smell then hums. "Would you prefer it if I got down on one knee, with roses and candles? Do you want romance?" he asks his voice dripping with sarcasm. Kathryn never had any use for romance and sentiment.
"No," she huffs, "But you don't even have a ring."
"Au' contraire," he retorts with a knowing smirk, "Look under your pillow."
Her eyebrows knit in confusion, but she does what he asks, reaching under her pillow and producing the ring box he left there earlier. She opens up the small velvet box and her expression goes from annoyance to one of awe as she takes in the sizable diamond. There's no need to ask if she likes it.
He gives her a moment to take it in before asking, "Well, will you marry me?"
Kathryn removes the ring from it's box and slips it on her finger, the sight of which makes his heart jump in his chest. However she plays it cool. "I'm not sure." Her gaze finds his and a teasing smile curves around her lips. "Outside of this beautiful ring I haven't heard a reason I should yet."
Sebastian lets out a long breath and rolls his eyes, but he's smiling none the less. "Because I'm the only one who will have you?"
She yanks hard on his hair in response and bites out, "Try again."
He drops a kiss on the inside of her left thigh. "How about because you make me happy." He kisses the right thigh. "And you make me miserable." Sebastian's mouth hovers above her cunt as he speaks. "You're a pain in the ass most days, but I love you madly, even when I want to strangle you. You challenge me, you fight me, you make me better Kathryn and I want you. Always."
Her green eyes are wide in her face and he can tell she's a little overwhelmed by his words. Neither of them were much for sharing their feelings, but if ever there was a time for it, it was now. Sebastian watches a little bemused as she swallows thickly and struggles to remain indifferent to his sentiments. "Well," she clears her throat, "I suppose you make a solid argument. So yes Valmont, I'll marry you."
Smiling he makes his way up her body and captures her mouth in a kiss. She returns it with more vigor than he expects telling him that for all her aloofness she was just as excited as him. When they break apart her eyes are shinning and there's a stupid smile on her face.
"Shall I fetch some champagne?"
"Later," she chirps. Grasping him by the hair she guides him back between her legs. "After you make me cum."
.
VII.
When Annette's mother gets breast cancer, they decide to move to Kansas to help take care of her. The Hargroves had moved back to Kansas City the previous year when Annette's father retired from teaching. Sebastian knew she had been missing her parents desperately, specifically her mother, so when she heard she was sick and insisted on being there for her, he doesn't fight her on it. Besides, he tells himself, it's only temporary.
Temporary. He repeats that word like a daily mantra. Everyday when he wakes up and every night before he goes to sleep.
Sebastian fucking hates Kansas. He hates the suburban neighborhood they live in, he hates the Mcmansion they rent and he hates their cloying noisy neighbors. However, if that was the worst of it he could deal, but there was also his father-in-law he had to contend with. Hargrove never approved of their relationship and he never thought Sebastian was good enough for his daughter. This was fine, Sebastian himself didn't think he was good enough for her most days. It was the fact that he never let him forget it. Every time he saw the man (which was daily now) he made some sort of jab or dig against him, while Annette just smiled or giggled like she found it adorable. It was infuriating.
To top it off he wasn't working. Being out of the city meant there was little opportunity for jobs. On the few occasions he flew back, he'd always return a few days later to an exhausted wife and growling in-laws who complained about his lack of commitment to his family.
Sebastian was miserable, but he wasn't the only one. Livvie, all of five years old, also seemed to hate Kansas just as much as he did. Always a social child she didn't seem to like any of the neighbor kids, choosing to play with herself during play dates than with the other children. When Annette enrolled her in kindergarten she'd cry when they dropped her off even though she had never been clingy before. And at least once a day she would ask when they were going home.
Annette would just smile and respond, "We are home baby."
Sebastian would hear that, then quietly say to himself, temporary. Temporary, temporary, temporary...
Of course the problem was Annette loved Kansas and the longer they stayed the more attached she seemed to grow to her home town. She appeared completely oblivious to his and Livvie's unhappiness, occasionally dropping hints about moving there permanently. She missed her family. They had a wonderful school district. Wouldn't this be a great environment to raise Olivia in as opposed to the dangerous city? Jesus Christ.
Through it all Sebastian bites his tongue. He knows his wife is going through a lot with the prospect of losing her mother. So he says nothing, he plays the part of the dutiful husband and goes along with whatever Annette asks of him. Inside though he feels like he's slowly suffocating. He can't breath and he can't call out for help because no one's paying attention.
Late at night when he's waiting for sleep to take hold of him his mind sometimes wanders to things he knows he shouldn't be thinking about. He feels Annette laying beside him and guilt punctures his insides, but he can't help it. He falls asleep thinking about chestnut hair, green eyes, and devious smiles.
.
.
Their wedding is a huge affair, nearly bordering on ostentatious. Sebastian always assumed when he married Kathryn it would be a small and intimate ceremony with just them and few close friends. That is far from case. Instead, Kathryn plans an elaborate spectacle of a wedding which confuses him at first. It isn't until a few weeks before they're to walk down the isle that he figures it out: she's doing this for him. After hiding their relationship for years this was her way of admitting, quite publicly mind you, how much she wanted to be with him. Sebastian couldn't really begrudge her that.
They marry at St. Peter's cathedral in front of hundreds of guests before heading down the street to The Plaza for a lavish reception. Several high profile magazines and newspapers cover the event while various blogs dedicated to such nonsense declare it the wedding of the year. Somehow Kathryn is able to spin their relationship into some sort of epic fairytale and everyone eats it up.
Celebrities, politicians, royalty, and members of all the most prominent families in the city attend. A famous singer croons an old standard as they share their first dance. Afterwords, Kathryn throws the bouquet and Cecile Caldwell of all people catches it. Through it all his former stepmother turned mother-in-law sits tight lipped on the side lines looking for all the world like she wished to flay him alive. Sebastian loves every second of it.
Half way into the reception they sneak off to the ladies powder room and fuck against the sink. Kathryn tells him she loves him then in the same breath threatens to rip his balls off if he comes on her dress. Sebastian laughs so hard he doesn't think he'll ever stop.
Afterwords they retire for the night to the honeymoon suite upstairs. They are both thoroughly wasted, drunk and laughing, high on their own happiness. When they attempt to have sex it goes comically wrong, both of them far too inebriated and uncoordinated to make it happen. They end up sprawled side by side on the bedroom floor staring up at the ceiling.
"I'm so goddamn happy," his wife declares and it's a startling enough statement that he sobers up for a moment and looks at her. Kathryn's wearing a big smile and her eyes are wide and wondrous. Never in his life has he seen her look so radiant, so unencumbered. She's breathtaking.
Sebastian kisses her cheek. "I love you," he tells her.
She runs her finger across his face and her smile widens. "I know"
It's the best day of his life.
.
VIII.
Sebastian sees Kathryn for the first time in seven years at a birthday party.
The honoree is a famous model who he has photographed many times over the years, but most recently for the cover of Vogue. The setting is a club in Chelsea that once upon a time used to be a department story before going bankrupt and taken over by developers. It's large and carnivorous with two levels crammed full of beautiful people. The whole atmosphere is very Studio 54. Everyone is stunning and half dressed. There are exotic animals being led around the dance floor on leashes. Everywhere you look is someone famous or semi-famous doing something vaguely inappropriate. Women is sexy black and white bellhop uniforms are circling the party with mirrors held up like h'orderves plates only instead of food they are offering up lines of cocaine.
Needless to say he leaves Annette at home.
They had returned from Kansas over a month ago and while Sebastian was happy to be back after almost two years spent in purgatory Annette was miserable. Her mother ended up pulling through chemo and once the cancer went into remission there was no longer a viable reason to stay. Well, not one Sebastian agreed with anyway. When Annette suggested they make it a permanent move he had finally had enough. He told her in no uncertain terms would he (or their daughter for that matter) be moving to Kansas. She had been upset of course, but once he pointed out how Olivia wasn't any happier there then he was she didn't really have a leg to stand on in the argument.
Sebastian naively believed that if they came back to New York everything would magically become like it once was. It didn't take long to realize that was a ridiculous assumption. They fought all the time now. His wife once easy going and fun had somehow turned into a nagging shrew who was set off by the tiniest thing. Their connection which had once been so strong was now damaged and deteriorating little by little each day.
It wasn't all Annette's fault however, he knows that. The restless unhappiness that had plagued him in Kansas had somehow followed him home to New York. Sebastian found himself deeply unsatisfied with everything from his marriage to his job. More and more he felt as if he was a square peg continually being jammed into a round hole. Nothing fit, nothing seemed right.
Which was how he found himself at Dante's disco inferno that night, feeling edgy and restless and itching to do something destructive.
Enter Kathryn Merteuil.
He had just extracted himself from an increasingly bizarre conversation with a downtown art dealer and her model boyfriend when he turned and nearly bumped into one of the sexy bellhops carting around blow. He apologizes and she offers up a sexy smile before holding out her tray. "Party favor?" she purrs.
Sebastian's about to beg off, but then thinks better of it. He shrugs. "What the hell?"
He snorts a line, then another, his first since college. As the drug asserts itself into his system and he's considering doing a third he realizes someone else is standing in front of him. He hears her before he even looks up.
"I guess it's true what they say. You can take the boy out of the Upper East Side, but you can't take the Upper East Side out of the boy."
Sebastian rights himself so quickly he gets a head rush. He blinks several times as if she might be some sort of hallucination, but no, it's really her. "Holy shit," he marvels like she's some sort of unicorn. "Kathryn Merteuil."
She grins at him with smug satisfaction, clearly pleased that she caught him so unaware. "Hello stepbrother," she purrs.
"Former step-brother," he corrects her as his gaze drinks her in. She looks better than he could have imagined decked out in a black halter dress that accentuated her tits. Her chestnut colored hair was now long and slicked back. She had on smokey eye makeup and dark red lips fixed in a knowing smirk. To put it bluntly she looked sexy as fuck.
Sebastian tries to pull himself together reminding himself that he was married and well, she was Kathryn. He clears his throat and fixes his own sardonic grin to match hers. "For the record I still live on the Upper East Side," he drawls.
"Yes, but it's not really the same thing now is it?" He shrugs by way of answer not sure how to respond to that. When the server still standing before him swings her tray in Kathryn's direction she waves her off earning a raised eyebrow from him. He's going to question it when she continues, "I heard the most disconcerting rumor that you were living in Kansas?"
She says Kansas like it was some third world country and not an hour and a half plane ride away. He sighs as he takes a seat on a plush velvet couch and Kathryn follows slinking down into the arm chair beside him. She crosses her legs and he tries not to get caught staring at them, but doesn't succeed.
He clears his throat. "Yes, we were living there while Annette's mother recovered from chemo and yes, it's just as awful as you've likely imagined."
Her smile widens at this, but she doesn't press for details. "I take it you left the little wife at home?" she asks her eyes roaming the party.
"It's not really Annette's scene," he explains. "How about your husband?"
Kathryn briefly glances at the second floor of the club and shrugs indifferently. "He's around here somewhere."
Sebastian still can't get over the fact that she's someone's wife. Girlfriend, sure, but wife? Kathryn had never been loyal to anything in her life, including him. By his estimation she had been married over two years. He wants to ask her about it, but once again she beats him to it. Leaning in close so she doesn't have to compete over the music she asks, "So, is happily ever after everything it's cracked up to be?"
His eyes meet hers as they stare at each other for one long heated second before he replies, "Is anything?"
They spend the next two hours getting reacquainted while simultaneously indulging in a bottle of Cristal and more cocaine, their inhibitions loosening with every bump and every sip. At one point Kathryn moves from her arm chair to squeeze beside him on the couch. He doesn't mind at all. They talk and bullshit about their parents, their mutual acquaintances and their spouses. At one point his hand in on her knee and the more they talk, the further in slides until it's practically under her dress. She's warm and he can feel the heat radiating from her pussy like a sirens call. It makes her cock thump and stiffen with need. Suddenly all he can think about is stripping her down and fucking her senseless. Sebastian's mouth is at her ear and at some point it's on her neck and he's telling her how much he wants her.
"I need to fuck you over this couch," he pants, his inebriated brain wondering if that's at all possible.
Kathryn laughs, deep and husky and then she wets her lips calling to mind a host of pornographic images, some real some imagined. Even in his less then stellar state he can still recall with striking clarity their night together. How she felt, how she tasted, the sounds she made...if was far and away the best sex of his life.
Before he gets a chance to mull her publicly, Kathryn gets to her feet and takes his hand. Sebastian follows after, his hand locking around her waist and his face buried in her neck. "Walk Sebastian," she orders sternly, but she sounds like she's laughing at him.
Somehow they make it up the stairs and he's following her down a semi-vacant corridor. Kathryn peaks in a few rooms, all occupied before pushing open one to find it empty. The walls are dark and there's a makeshift bed/lounge area set up in the center of the room, with deep red sheets and too large pillows. Big framed black and white portraits of topples men and women cover the room.
They stumble inside and before they can get the door closed he launches his mouth against hers, attacking her mouth with violent need. Kathryn moans against him, her hands fumbling to undue his belt as she kisses him back with matching ferocity. Using his body to maneuver her to the bed, they land in a messy heap of entangled limbs.
It's messy, drunk sex and it's fantastic. Somehow he had forgotten how exhilarating recklessness could be. Sebastian doesn't think of his wife. He doesn't think of his daughter. He thinks of nothing but loosing himself in the most dangerous thing he's ever known, Kathryn.
Yanking down the top of her dress, he bites her tits through her bra and she laughs then thrusts her pelvis against him searching for friction. Sebastian moves against her, his rock hard dick pressing against her needy sex, giving her what she was searching for. She moans and digs her fingers into his scalp. "When was the last time you fucked on cocaine?" she asks as if she doesn't already know the answer.
"Before Annette," he pants, snapping open the front clasp of her bra. "Way before Annette. Jesus, I'm going to fuck you into next week."
She laughs again. "We'll see, I bet you cum in your pants before you even get it inside me."
Sebastian pulls his attention from her breasts to meet her mocking gaze. "Is that a challenge?"
"Maybe," she replies with a lazy grin.
He nods, then with more grace than is probably fair given his current condition, he jumps up on his knees and violently flips her on her stomach. Kathryn let's out a shriek of surprise that dissolves into laughter. Yanking up her dress he rips her flimsy panties away and gawks at her perfect pert ass before slapping it. Hard. She yelps. "Fuck," she gasps, "Do that again."
Sebastian complies slapping her twice more until her butt is pink with his hand print. It's finally too much and he knows, he has to get inside her before her little prediction comes true. He fumbles to remove his cock out of it's confines, his hands too eager and his coordination all off. When he manages to free himself he gasps in relief then guides his pulsating dick to her entrance. He can already feel her wetness gathering in anticipation. With little fineness or thought to her own comfort he enters her brutally, forcing himself balls deep inside. Kathryn gasps, surging forward on the bed. Clutching her hips Sebastian pins her to the mattress and proceeds to fuck her. Hard.
In the back of his mind he wants to take this slow, savor it after all these years. He wants to commit to memory every gasp and every thrust but he's too far gone for that. The cocaine has made him eager and aggressive and now all he wants to do is fuck.
He's too rough, his motions too violent. Tomorrow they will both be bruised but he doesn't care. Judging by the sounds she's making he doesn't think Kathryn minds either as she squirms against the mattress, desperately seeking friction for her needy clit that the position doesn't allow. Sebastian's hand is gripping her long hair while his other squeezes and slaps her hip. He slams into her over and over again, grunting and cursing, muttering nonsense about how good she feels, how much he needs her. When he comes it's quick and sudden and he can't remember the last time he's felt this good.
Gasping her name he folds over her, nipping at her neck as a last tremor of pleasure works it's way through his body. He's not sure if it's the drugs and alcohol that make him say what he does next or perhaps some other long suppressed emotion, but he finds the words tumbling from his mouth before he can give it any real thought.
"It was a mistake," he breaths, his face buried in her hair. "I should have chosen you."
Kathryn says nothing for a long moment before turning around. Her face is red from being pushed into the mattress, but her eyes are wide and startlingly alert. Sebastian repeats himself. "I should have chosen you."
With surprising force she turns and pushes him off. Sebastian winces when his cock somehow still hard, dislodges from the warm confines of her sex. He watches perplexed as Kathryn moves away from him to sit at the edge of the bed, her back to him. Flinching rapidly he tries to figure out what's going on. Gently he touches her quaking back. "Kathryn?"
She shakes him off. "Don't fucking touch me Sebastian," she snaps sounding surprisingly sober.
He removes his hand and sits up. Rubbing a hand against his face he tries to make sense of what set her off. "I'm sorry. Is it...are you worried about your husband or something?"
"You're an idiot"
His patients having reached it's limit he replies, "What the fuck is your problem?"
"This was a mistake. We shouldn't have done this."
Even though he thinks she might be right he can't bring himself to agree with her. "Well I don't think so," he drawls. "If we're being honest this was a long time coming."
Kathryn scoffs but says nothing for awhile. When she does speak her tone is almost robotic. "I was pregnant you know."
Sebastian's eyes knit together in confusion at the sudden shift in topic. He scratches the back of his head. "What, you and your husband-
"No in high school." He freezes upon hearing this suddenly feeling way too sober. Before he can ask she tells him matter-of-factly, "It was yours in case you're wondering."
Jolting upright he grabs her arm, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes are glassy and sad. She suddenly looks younger that her twenty seven years. Sebastian swallows thickly. "You were...how can you be sure it was mine?"
Kathryn's eyes narrow at the insinuation and she yanks her arm out of his grip. "Fuck you Sebastian."
She gets to her feet and starts fixing her clothes, her movements are jerky and not terribly coordinated. Sebastian tries to wrap his mind around this. "Kathryn I'm sorry I didn't mean that." He attempts to reach out for her but she jerks away. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What for?" she demands, "It wasn't like I was going to keep it anyway."
"You should have told me."
She stops for a moment and looks at him with anger and disappointment swimming in her eyes. Kathryn shakes her head. "You wanted her Sebastian, you choose her."
He thinks back to that time and how angry she had been at him. He had just assumed rightly or not that she was pissed because of Annette. It had never occurred to him something else could have been going on with her. Thinking about Kathryn at seventeen going through that by herself makes him a little sick. Then he recalls that telephone call with her when he told her about becoming a father and he feels worse. Sebastian looks away ashamed. "I'm so sorry Kathryn."
"Right," she huffs before turning around to find her shoes.
As he watches her he tells her once again. "I should have chosen you. I mean I wouldn't give up my daughter for the world but-
"Shut up Valmont," she snaps with sharp viciousness. "I'm don't know what's going on with you and frankly I don't really care. I have no interest in being your mid-life crisis."
"I'm 27!"
"Then act like it!"
Kathryn slips her shoes on and stalks over to the door. Pausing at the threshold she looks over her shoulder at him. Her anger having dissipated she now just looks sad. "You chose her Sebastian, you chose this life. Now you have to live in it. Without me."
She exits slamming the door behind her and leaving Sebastian with a disconcerting sense of deja vu.
.
.
They don't have children.
They never really discuss having children before marriage. It just never comes up. Sebastian always assumed he'd have kids in that vague, maybe-someday kind of way, but that was it. Kathryn, not exactly the maternal sort never mentions it and he thinks nothing of it.
They're spending the summer in the Hamptons. Sebastian's working on his latest book and Kathryn is commuting to work on the weekdays. One weekend they visit the house of one of his publishers where he and his partner are hosting a barbecue. Sebastian is discussing stock options with a broker while the man's wife half listens, bouncing their baby daughter on her hip. When she announces she has to make a phone call she moves to hand the kid over to it's father before pausing with a conspirator smile and thrusting her into Sebastian's arms.
Momentarily flummoxed he tries to hold her in a more comfortable manor while her mother and a few other ladies coo and laugh, teasing him about what a great father he'd make. Sebastian doesn't really think anything of it. It wasn't the first time he's had women force their babies on him as if he'd immediately turn to mush. He just laughs and makes a few jokes. When he looks up he spots Kathryn watching him from across the yard, her expression pensive and a little uneasy.
Sebastian forgets the whole matter until later that night. They had just finished dinner followed by a rousing bought of sex on the hallway steps that will leave some interesting bruises in the morning. They're both in the large glass enclosed shower. Kathryn is oddly quiet.
In an effort to loosen her up he pinches her ass and she shrieks then scowls at him. Sebastian cocks an eyebrow. "What's your problem?"
She exhales loudly and turns her back to him. "Nothing," she insists.
Sliding his hands down her wet back he rests them on her hips and brings her back against him. He kisses her neck and coaxes, "What is it? You've been acting strange all night."
"It didn't seem to concern you on the stairs"
"Well when I'm balls deep in my sexy wife very little concerns me," he murmurs against her skin. When this fails to make her smile he pushes, "Out with it Valmont."
Kathryn says nothing for a while and he starts to think she won't say anything. When she finally speaks it's in a rush, her words almost tripping over each other. "I don't want children Sebastian." She turns in his arms and he's surprised when he sees trepidation looking back at him.
Before he can respond she breaks out of his arms and leaves the shower. Sebastian stands there a moment absorbing her words before turning the water off. Turning around he watches his wife as she drys herself off and slips into a black silk robe. Stepping out of the shower stall he grabs a towel.
"You know if we had had that kid in high school, it would have been ten years old by now," he muses drying off. "Can you imagine how different our lives would have been?"
"Well yes, for one you would be dead after my mother found out and killed you," Kathryn remarks dryly.
Sebastian laughs and she smiles for the first time that night. Dropping the towel he closes the distance between them, his hands sliding up her arms to cradle her face. Her expression turns serious. "Sebastian I wouldn't make a good mother. I don't have the instincts for it. I'm selfish, and impatient and more than a little fucked up." When he nods in agreement her eyes narrow in annoyance. "Feel free to jump in at any time."
He smiles and kisses her forehead. "Kathryn do you want children?" Her eyes fall away and she shakes her head no. Sebastian nods. "Well alright then, no kids."
She looks up at him surprised. "What about you? I saw you this afternoon you were a natural. Don't you want them?"
Sebastian considers his parents and the less then stellar job they did raising him. Then he thinks about Tiffany Merteuil and the number she did on her daughter. Kathryn would never be a fully functional, emotionally healthy woman thanks to her. Taking this all into consideration it occurs to him that not having children might be for the best.
"All I want in you Kathryn and our life together."
He realizes with quiet satisfaction that he has everything he needs.
.
IX.
The incident with Kathryn is not the last time he cheats on Annette. Far from it.
It starts out with a model at a shoot on location. They're in Bali, she's in a bikini and shit happens. Afterwords he's surprised when there's no crushing sense of guilt when Annette welcomes his home. Truth is he feels numb. So it happens again, this time at his studio with a model and a make-up assistant. Things progress from there. Business colleges. A stripper. Olivia's nanny. Sebastian grows less and less discerning with each encounter.
He tries to see Kathryn again, but she seems to vanish into thin air. She won't take his calls and her servants tell him she left the country with her husband. He considers hiring a professional to hunt her down, before realizing he's just asking to get caught. Still he can't shake her. His need for her is stronger than ever.
Maybe this was why he was allowing his marriage to crumble. Things between him and Annette had gone from bad to unbearable. They fought constantly and when they weren't fighting they weren't speaking at all. Sebastian had taken to spending the night in the guest room. His marriage was basically running on fumes at this point, just waiting to be put out of it's misery.
The thing of it was, Sebastian knew he could fix his marriage he wanted to. He could stop screwing around, stop going out, stop fighting with his wife. He could stop being such a miserable prick. He could try.
He just doesn't want to.
With the exception of his daughter he's sick of everything in his life. He's restless and bored and edgy. When he's in a particularly dark mood he thinks Kathryn might not have been wrong when she suggested he was going through a mid-life crisis.
It's with that thought in mind that he decides to kamikaze himself out of his marriage.
They are attending his father's anniversary party. It's rather a small miracle that his father has managed to stay married this long considering his roving eye and his stepmother's habit of going off the rails every now and again. Despite that they seemed strangely compatible.
The same couldn't be said for him and his wife. Annette barely speaks to him all evening with the exception of clipped one word answers. As soon as they get to the party they separate and keep to their own side's of the room.
Sebastian's at the bar getting a drink when Sabrina slides up behind him, her hand lingering on his back longer than appropriate. He grins. "Hello stepmother."
"Sebastian," she coo's her gaze sliding down his body, "Don't you look handsome."
She flirts with him like she usually does and he flirts back. Most of the time it's harmless, but not tonight. Then she propositions him. This isn't the first time she's done it, but it is the first time he's said yes.
They end up in one of the back bedrooms. Sabrina is bent over the desk, her tits falling out of the dress, his hands at her waist as he plows her from behind. They aren't quiet and he couldn't care less.
Until they get caught that is.
Sebastian is so engaged in what he's doing he doesn't notice at first when the door opens. He doesn't even realize they have company until he looks up and finds his wife standing on the other side of the desk, her mouth hanging open in shock as her eyes fill with tears. She stumbles back on her feet, her hand flying to her mouth. "Sebastian?"
"Annette," he says carefully as if trying to calm a small, frightened animal, "Look I-
"Oh my god, you son of a bitch!" she snarls her eyes flashing with rage. "I knew it! I knew you were cheating on me."
He pulls out of his stepmother who at least has the grace to look embarrassed as some of the other party goers are peaking into the room. Sebastian pays them little mind his attention focused on his angry wife. Upon hearing the self-righteousness in her voice something within him snaps and suddenly he's itching for a fight.
Fixing his pants he growls back at her, "If you knew already why are you so fucking surprised?!"
She jerks back as if getting slapped and fresh tears fill her eyes. "I thought you were better than this," she cries. "I thought you were the man I fell in love with but you're not. You're not a man at all. You're a fucking child!"
"Annette-
"I've had enough Sebastian." She swings back on her heel and heads for the door calling out behind her as she departs, "Stay the hell away from me."
Realizing that perhaps he went too far he zips up his pants and chases after her, pushing past curious guests. Out of the corner of his eye he thinks he spots his father but he'll deal with him later. At the moments all he cares about is getting to his wife before she does something stupid like pack up his daughter and move to Kansas.
Somehow Annette manages to grab her coat and get out the door and he still can't catch up with her. Foregoing his coat he follows her outside. This isn't smart as it's freezing out, and a light snowfall is blanketing everything. Annette is crossing 77th street when he spots her. "Annette!" he calls out.
She coolly ignores him calling over her shoulder, "Go to hell Sebastian."
He chases her across the street when a taxi rounding the corner, side swipes him, sending him skidding across the icy road on his ass. He lands in a heap against the curb or more appropriately the gutter.
That sounds about right, he thinks darkly to himself.
Annette shrieks calling out his name before rushes towards him. When Sebastian sits up, startled but alright she stops in her tracks as if she's afraid to get too close to him. The taxi stops as well and the cabby gets out. "You all right?" he calls out to him.
"I'll live," Sebastian grumbles. His side hurts as does his ass but otherwise he's fine.
Realizing he's free and clear the cab driver climbs back in his cab and takes off. Annette stands in the middle of the street looking torn and concern as the snow falls around her. "Are you really alright?"
He nods.
She bites her bottom lip. "We can't keep going on like this," she tells him her voice breaking.
"I know that"
"I kind of hate you right now"
He huffs out a laugh, his side hurting more than he initially thought. He winces then tells her, "I don't blame you."
Annette takes two steps closer and kneels down in front of him. She wipes at her wet eyes and looks back at him hopeless and lost. "Sebastian what are we going to do?"
.
.
Sebastian was running late for dinner with his wife. He had been at a meeting with his publisher that had run unexpectedly late. They were putting the finishing touches on the artwork for the third 'Katarina' book. It was exhausting, but with the book already in the can the hard part was done. It would be released next month.
Not that it mattered. He'd likely be dead anyway once Kathryn got a hold of him. This was the third dinner he'd been late to in a month. Most women of course would be understanding, but then again Kathryn Valmont wasn't most women.
Exiting the building he attempts to flag a cab, but it's snowing and it's rush hour so it's not happening. Briskly he heads down fifth, pushing past pokey tourists and women slowly teetering in their heels as they attempted to navigate the slippery snow. He fishes around his pockets for his phone. As he does so Sebastian looks up and spots a florist. For a moment he considers popping in and grabbing something. Kathryn doesn't really care for flowers or their cheap sentiment, but the ironic gesture might make her smile or at the very least not go for his balls when he gets in the door.
He pauses at the storefront staring in the window when his phone goes off. "Speak of the devil," he mutters to himself before answering. "Hey baby, sorry the meeting ran late."
"That's what I figured," she answers her voice sounding off. "Are you on your way home now?"
"Uh yeah, if I can catch a goddamn cab," he growls as he lifts his hand to signal an oncoming car only for it to switch it's light off. "I'm sorry Kathryn, I'll be there shortly.
"That's okay. I, um, have some news," she remarks her voice soundly oddly hesitant.
"Good news or bad news?"
There's a pause on her end. "I'm not sure. Just get here soon."
He sighs. "I'm trying."
"I love you Sebastian," she tells him, her tone bordering on earnest.
The sentiment makes him stop and smile. They didn't say it often but when they did it meant something. He wondered what this news of hers could be. "I love you too," he replies. "I'll see you soon."
Sebastian hangs up the phone, more eager than ever to get home to his wife. With that thought he crosses the street not paying attention when a cab rounds the corner too fast and skids on the ice. The last thing Sebastian ever hears is the sound of squealing tires, shattered glass and his wife's voice telling him she loves him.
.
X.
"See you later daddy"
Olivia kisses his cheek and hoists her backpack higher on her shoulder. Sebastian watches from the front steps of his former home as his nine year old daughter tosses her long blonde hair over her shoulder, ducks under her mother's arm and disappears into the house. He feels the usual tug of pain in his chest when she leaves him.
Annette standing at the entrance of the door steps out to greet him with a warm smile. "How are you doing Sebastian?"
He offers up his usual sardonic grin, shoving his hands in his over coat. "Oh you know me, I'm keeping myself busy."
She smiles back knowingly at him. There's no bitterness in her voice when she wryly replies, "I'll bet."
They had been divorced for a little over a year now. Somehow, against all odds it, had been fairly civil. After that night in the snow, they had both come to the realization that they could no longer continue on as they were while at the same time admitting there was nothing left to save of their marriage. It had been a painful, but necessary break. They had both been concerned how Livvie would handle it, but while she was sad she didn't seem surprised. Apparently she had seen the writing on the wall much sooner then they had.
While they shared joint custody, their daughter spent her weekdays mostly at her mother's and weekends were spent with him. He had also given Annette the house figuring it was the least he could do after everything he put her thorough.
As she stood before him now, eyes sparkling and warm he couldn't help but be reminded of the girl he fell in love with all those years ago. Being with him had drained some of that natural spark from her and he realized once again how much better off she was without him in her life. She was happy now, teaching at a private girl's school and dating a fellow teacher.
"So how's the writing going?"
Not well. Growing restless with photography he had decided to take up writing at Annette's suggestion. He had kept a journal for years of course and he loved to read so why not? Turns out it is more difficult than anticipated. Still, wanting to save face in front of his ex he lied. "It's coming along."
They say goodbye, a ritual that gets less and less awkward the more they do it. Sebastian considers heading home to his new apartment a few blocks away, but thinks better of it. It's a beautiful day for late fall and surprisingly warm so he decides to head to the park instead.
He ends up sitting on a bench on the edge of the Literary walk, a leather journal Livvie bought him open on his lap as he struggles for some inspiration. He people watches for a little while hoping for some spark of creativity, but come up frustratingly short. This used to be so much easier he thinks to himself.
After a little while he starts writing down random musings and it helps to loosen him up a little. Soon he's caught up enough that he doesn't notice when someone approaches him.
"After all this time you're still carrying that thing around," a darkly amused voice calls out to him. Sebastian's pen pauses on the page and when he looks down and spots a pair of pointy heeled stilettos in front of him he can't repress his smile. Slowly his gaze wanders up her familiar body clad in a black wrap around dress and meets his former stepsister's bemused expression half hidden behind a pair of black shades. She cocks an eyebrow over the rim of her sunglasses and sneers, "Could you be more queer?"
"Could you be more desperate to read it?" he replies not missing a beat.
They share a smile and Sebastian's whole boy comes to life with her presence, but he's careful not to show it, remaining poised on his bench as he greets her. "Hello Kathryn."
"Valmont"
She takes a seat beside him, sliding her glasses up to rest on top of her head. Sebastian closes his book and informs her. "For the record this isn't my journal."
"Oh?" She examines the nondescript cover. "Aren't you a little young to be writing your memoirs?"
"It's not exactly that." He's a little embarrassed to tell her what it really is so he lets the subject drop and he slides the journal under his arm. "So what are you doing here?"
Sebastian hasn't seen her since that night of the party when she ran out on him. All his earlier attempts to contact here were ignored and after he found out from a couple mutual friends that she indeed had left the country (Geneva) he decided to let her be for the time being. He hadn't realized until now that she was back.
Answering his question with her typical snide response she replies, "I live here idiot."
"In the park?" he remarks with faux wonder. "I must say Kathryn you look remarkably well for a homeless woman."
She rolls her eyes at him. "You're a moron."
"I meant when did you get back to the city?"
"Six months ago," she sighs examining her nails.
"Geneva grow dull?"
"No, more like Gregory did." When he stares her down she finally looks at him and admits, "I got divorced. I would have thought you would have heard about it."
He shakes his head, this is news to him. "No, I didn't I'm sorry."
Kathryn shrugs. "It's fine. He served his purpose and I got a penthouse on Park and shares in his company out of it." Her mouth curves into a wicked grin as she reveals, "I plan on having him voted out of the company next month."
Sebastian smiles in appreciation of her deviousness. "Still a ruthless little bitch after all these years."
"I try." Turning her quizzical stare on him she asks, "What about you?"
He has a sneaking suspicion she already knows all about the divorce because Kathryn somehow always knows everything, but he's still hesitant to confess it out loud. Instead he hedges, "What have you heard?"
"There might have been a story floating around about you causing a scene at your father's anniversary party." Sebastian rolls his eyes and Kathryn shifts her body closer to him, her eyes lit with excitement. Leaning in close she asks with barely concealed glee, "Did you really get caught fucking your stepmother?"
With a lazy grin he shrugs and remarks, "Well I already fucked my stepsister I figured why not round out the depravity."
Sighing Sebastian launches into the cliff notes version of his divorce, mentioning his infidelities and the Kansas disaster before wrapping up with the infamous 'stepmother' incident. "So that's it," he remarks waiting for her response that doesn't come. When she stares back at him blankly he prompts, "Well don't you have anything to say?"
"Such as?"
"I told you so maybe"
Kathryn pouts. "Well it's not as much fun if you're expecting it."
He almost laughs at the disappointed look on her face. A comfortable silence falls between them and Sebastian thinks back on the last time he saw her. Truth be told he didn't remember much of it, just the important parts really. He swallows uneasily and remarks, "I'm sorry about that night Kathryn. I was a total mess."
"We both were," she sighs looking away. "Don't worry about it."
"Well I'm sorry about everything really. I should have known, back then that something else was going on. I should have been there for you." Reaching for her hand clenched on her lap he rubs his fingers over her knuckles. "I hate that you went through that alone."
Kathryn stares at their hands then back at him. "I'm fine Sebastian," she assures him. "It's over with and in the past where it belongs. Truth is everything worked out as it should."
"For better or worse," he remarks dryly.
She nods then slips her sunglasses back on. "Jesus," she grumbles, "when did we get so maudlin?"
"I think it comes with age."
Shifting against the bench he studies her out of the corner of his eye and wonders not for the first time how things might have been different if he hadn't picked up that phone all those years ago. Would things really have turned out better if he had stayed with Kathryn? He'd never know. He couldn't change the past, but he could change his future.
"So are you staying in New York I take it?"
"Yes, for the time being"
"Good"
Kathryn crosses her legs towards him and wets her lips. He thinks she's going to makes some sort of suggestion but instead she tells him, "You should know I'm seeing someone."
"You're always seeing someone," he replies undaunted.
Then the strangest thing happens. Sebastian is suddenly overcome with the strangest sense of deja vu. He could have sworn he had this same conversation with her before, but he knows for a fact he hasn't. The odd thing is a strange look comes over Kathryn's face as well and he realizes whatever it is she feels it too. Neither of them comment on it.
Instead Sebastian considers his next coarse of action. He knows they'll see each other again. They run in too many of the same circles not to bump into one another at some point in time. They'll both be at the same party, she'll introduce him to her boring boyfriend of the moment with a coy smile, hoping to make him jealous. It will work and eventually Sebastian will weasel his way back into her life. First with friendship then possibly sex. Depending on how Kathryn wants to play this it could be another year before he got anywhere with her.
That was just too long to wait.
Sebastian gracefully leaps to his feet. "Let's go somewhere," he suggests feeling spontaneous.
Over the rim of her sunglasses her eyebrows jump in surprise. "Now?" She looks at her watch. "I have an appointment to get to."
He shrugs. "Cancel it."
"Just like that?
"Just like that"
She opens her mouth as if to argue with him but them promptly closes it. Kathryn gets to her feet. "Alright," she sighs. "Where are we going?"
Sebastian slips his hand into hers and smiles. "It's a surprise."
THE END
Author's Note: Whew! That was one of the more difficult chapters I've written but I'll admit it is probably my favorite from this anthology. I'll be curious to hear your thoughts.
Like I said in a previous AN I am going to be posting a few more chapters to this, but they won't be sequels to any of the earlier chapters. I also am going to try to update Blood On Your Hands at some point, maybe soon.
Until then please drop a review if you can and thanks for reading!