Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf.

He had kind of sunk into his mind while allowing the werewolf to take over. Sometimes when he wished to venture slightly from the interior of his mind he saw himself running and jumping over this and that, and then latter a flash of brown, then something red. But he stayed inside his mind until he heard Scott say his name, it pulled him from the interior of his mind to the real world. Scott was looking at him horrified. He wondered why for a few moments before he caught the smell in the air then he knew why. He was used to the first two smells of blood, of his own and Scott, but there was a new one mixed in. Did he hurt someone? A flash went through his mind and he had a clear image of a little brown rabbit and knew with a certainty that he had eaten a rabbit. That should have made feel horrified or disgusted, but the only thing he could think about was Scott and his conversation they had not so long ago but it felt like a lifetime. They had been in school sitting in desk but he couldn't remember which class they had been in.

"Maybe you caught a rabbit or something" he said.

"And did what?"

"Ate it."

"Raw?"

"No you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven." his voice came back sarcastically. Scott hadn't found his comment funny at the moment but Stiles did now. He started laughing and couldn't seem to stop. He couldn't even remember the last time he had laughed really laughed, not the bitter laugh that had been the closest thing he had got to a real laugh lately. He kept laughing even though it wasn't as funny as his laugh would make others think. Scott was looking at terrified, probably thinking Stiles had finally lost it, since he had no idea what he was remembering. Maybe he was right? Maybe he had finally gone insane since he couldn't seem to stop laughing. Eventually though the laughing devolved into what it had been masking all along. He was crying, he didn't know what to do how to make any of this better, and now his Dad knew. Stiles had listened as Scott had told his Dad all about his problems and the guilt was back in full force. He was so messed up, had so many problems, one of them being he couldn't eat.

He supposed his werewolf side didn't have that problem. Okay now the fact that he had just ate a rabbit was hitting him and he felt disgusted and horrified. He had eaten a rabbit, an innocent rabbit. Stiles had never killed anything larger than a spider and spiders were creepy with their long skinny legs and the way they moved….that wasn't the point. He had eaten a rabbit, a rabbit and his life had been twisted into this mess, this big mess that he didn't know how to clean up and wasn't even sure that he wanted to clean up. It seemed easier to just stop living, to just give up like he had tried to do that night. His mom words came to him though.

"Nothing worth doing is easy." she would tell him that when he would do his homework and couldn't understand it or focus enough on it before he had been put on Adderall. Everything about his life at the moment certainly wasn't easy, but he knew that his mother wouldn't want him to give up. He knew that Scott and his Dad wouldn't either, but he focused on his mother since part of him was still angry at Scott and his Dad for not rescuing him sooner. He didn't want to be angry at them but couldn't seem to help it, he couldn't seem to control his emotions at all.

He felt Scott arms around him and realized he had gone completely into his head and stopped paying attention to the outside world. He closed his eyes trying to block everything else, but the warmth of his best friend arms around him. He wanted to run, to hide to be anywhere except here but he stayed. He squeezed his eyes trying to wade through the torrent of emotions, He didn't want to deal with them, he wanted to hide, to pretend nothing had ever happened.

Nothing worth doing is easy. his mom words echoed at him. Living that was definitely the hardest thing at the moment, just living. He had to try though, he had to try keep living and the only way to do that was for the pain to go away. Which would mean dealing with it, which would mean talking and treatment and...that all sounded much too hard.

Nothing worth doing is easy his mother words came again. He nodded his head, okay, okay he would try... for his mom but he was sure that he couldn't do it alone.. he needed help. He came out of himself again to realize that Scott was still holding him tightly, saying his name every couple of seconds trying to draw him out of his own little world. Stiles met his eyes and Scott stopped saying his name and just looked in his worried.

"Scott... help me." he whispered so low it was probably beyond the human threshold but Scott heard him.

"Tell me what to do and I'll do it." Scott said instantly.

"Fix me." Stiles said no louder than his last comment.

"I don't know how" Scott admitted and his eyes were full of tears "But I promise you I will do everything in my power to." Stiles nodded then closed his eyes as the nausea began to rear it's ugly head again.

"Stay with me as I throw up?"

"I'm not going anywhere." Scott promised and helped Stiles to his knees and moved out of the way so that Stiles had room, Stiles smiled for a moment before it turned into a grimace since he knew what was coming. This time though Scott put his hand on his shoulder and he allowed himself to take some comfort in it, as he emptied his stomach yet again.

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