Chapter 37 Regret

Set at roughly the same time as Chapter 8 containing echoes of Chapter 7. (S3 E15)

The prison group finally plan to make a stand against the Governor and rescue Carol. But has the Governor already killed her? Who will die and who will survive?

Will they succeed?

i

It was the day after Merle left to take Michonne to the Governor in exchange for Carol. A secret deal that probably most residents of Woodbury were unaware of.

Daryl had just dozed off after lunch in his cell on his bunk with Beth, their arms around each other. Because since they were reconciled, they couldn't keep their hands off one another. But now they were sleeping innocently like babes although Dixons didn't do naps – they were for pussies - but he had to make up for lost sleep.

He started twitching in his sleep and murmuring his brother's name. 'Merle...' He muttered again. Beth stirred but didn't fully come awake to consciousness, nevertheless she started to stroke his hair comfortingly. Seemed like even in sleep, they were attuned to each other's moods and feelings.

He woke up screaming for his brother, waking her up at the same time with her eyes wide open in shock and panic. A sense of dread and imminent loss weighing in his chest like a heavy rock.

Remembering his brother's words in his dream, 'Good night, baby brother.' Before the shot rang out.

'No!' He screamed again while Beth tried to console him.

ii.

A few hours before.

Michonne didn't flinch as Merle cut her loose. ''Get out.'' He ordered her coldly. He'd finally given in to her arguments. She didn't need to be told twice as she left him without a glance back. Feeling the safe weight of the her katana on her back, he'd considerately handed it back to her.

But she did watch as he drove off.

Maybe he wasn't so different from Daryl after all – yes, he had done bad things but didn't everyone deserve a second chance? But he'd refused her suggestion that they go back together.

She understood that the is was something he needed to do alone.

For Daryl. For himself. Men like the Dixons had a strict code of honour – he was going to confront the Governor face to face. Wasn't going to hide behind Rick and the group.

She just wished he would be successful. She'd barely come out alive from her own fight with the Woodbury leader – but at least she had taken the bastard's eye. Remembered how cunning he was, his ruthless strength that seemed almost inhuman. She remembered how he kept his walker daughter locked up, keeping her alive in hope. She'd wanted to put the girl out of her misery but he'd got in the way.

She remembered the feeling of cold disgust when he had shoved her face into the tank full of snapping Walker heads. And that she could have killed him if not for Andrea who had come in at that moment and looked around at the room full of Biter tanks in shock.

Instead her friend had protected him - just because they were sleeping together. Couldn't she see him for the monster he was?

Why hadn't she seen the man for what he was? But then Andrea always believed in the best of people – would rather see their good sides than the secret selves they kept hidden.

She made her way back to the prison, killing wandering Walkers who crossed her path as she went. Ignoring the others.

Then she saw Daryl also jogging towards her. Rick had changed his mind about Michonne and wanted her back. He wasn't going to negotiate after all. He frowned as he stopped just a few feet in front of her.

'Where's my brother? Did ya kill him?' He glared at her and she knew that if he believed he had, he would murder her for it. Or at least try. So she kept her expression blank. He had typically got straight down to business without greeting her while aiming his crossbow at her heart. She drew out her katana in response, ready to defend herself if the hunter attacked.

They stood at an uneasy standoff. Funny, Michonne liked Daryl, he seemed like a decent person despite his rough edges. Maybe they could even be friends when this was all over.

If it was ever over. She thought tiredly.

The black warrior shrugged. 'He let me go.' The younger Dixon eye-balled her some more before he convinced himself that she was telling the truth. He lowered his weapon first and the she followed suit. She sighed. 'Look, sorry I don't know where he went. I think he's going to go after the Governor.'

'By himself? You let him go?' Daryl's voice started to rise in anxiety and accusation.

'Didn't want me with him.' She countered.

'I got to go find him!' He started to jog away then, without even saying goodbye in his haste and Michonne continued walking. Maybe she would be lucky and find a working vehicle on the way.

iii.

Daryl and Rick returned back to prison, lagging behind the others. Rick had his arm around his friend, supporting him until they came in sight of the walls and then the Dixon shrugged him off. Last thing he wanted the others to see after witnessing his pathetic breakdown at his brother's death. But then Rick was the only one he'd allowed to touch him, comfort him. Beth hadn't been there anyway – was back at the prison looking after the baby. He especially hadn't wanted her to see him like that.

So weak. He was a pussy just like the bastard always said he was. He shuddered.

Rick noticed. 'Ya OK?'

'What's done, is done.' He replied stoically, eyes dry and hard now. Pushing aside his own guilt and regret that he hadn't gone with Merle or that he hadn't tried to fight Rick harder about betraying Michonne. 'No excuses now, let's go get the bastard. Rescue Carol. We ain't losin' anyone else.'

'We gotta plan, have strategy...' Rick, always careful, replied noticing how Daryl's body hummed with restless energy.

Daryl rounded on him, fury plain in his eyes and Rick noticed that there was a ruthlessness, an implacability that wasn't in them before Merle's death. 'Fuck plans and strategy! Ain't we waited long enough? Maybe if we'd attacked sooner instead of tryin' to negotiate with that sick fuck, my brother would still be alive! Ya sent him off on a suicide mission! It's all ya fault!' He shoved Rick away hard, clenching his fists at his sides. Wanting to punch him his face bloody but holding back. 'But then ya never did want him around, did ya? Jus' like everyone else.' He accused bitterly.

Rick didn't deny this. 'I guess I deserved that one.' He conceded. 'But that's exactly what the Governor expected – he was waiting for us, setting a trap. Go ahead and hit me if it makes ya feel better.'

Daryl snarled at him but turned away. 'Won't bring Merle back. Ain't nothin' can.'

Rick laid a cautious hand on his shoulder. 'I'm sorry.' He said sincerely because he wasn't going to miss Merle but he was sorry for Daryl who had lost the only family he had left.

But the other man shook it off furiously. 'Don't fuckin' touch me again. Ever.' And Rick knew that he was referring to the time in the cabin when they'd got close. But Daryl was back with Beth now.

The remaining Dixon strode off, leaving Rick feeling guilt-stricken in his wake. Feeling like he'd lost a friend – no more than that – a brother. Not just his second-in-command. But there was nothing he could do and he would have welcomed Merle back now with wide open arms if it made Daryl whole and happy again.

iv.

At the next day's council of war meeting, Daryl paced up and down in front of everyone. Had already brushed off their sympathies and platitudes – he only wanted action now.

'We gotta move now and we gotta move fast because maybe he'll kill Carol when he realises Merle's not coming with Michonne.'

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Rick took the floor back again. 'Our 'friends' in Woodbury want the Governor gone. No, more than that – they want him dead. He's been doin' things – I won't say what here in front of the ladies (Daryl sniggered at Rick's old-fashioned courtesy) but suffice to say, he's made a lot of enemies.'

'And I want him for myself. For Merle – so ya all leave him to me.' Daryl glared round.

Everyone looked at him in surprise.

'I know the Governor killed him.' He explained. 'Don't ask how.'

'We're makin' our move today! As soon as it gets dark!' Rick announced while everyone gasped and looked warily at each other. But truth be told, most people who knew her were worried about Carol and they'd all had enough of sitting around and waiting.

Rick distributed orders for the weapons and divided everyone into teams.

It was time to take a stand against Woodbury.

Some would fall. But some would live.