Hello, readers! I hope you enjoy this chapter set... Heads-up: There will be blood.

Chapter 19

The lights flashed on with a loud tone.

Finally.

I got out of bed and assembled my uniform. Seven and a half hours of thinking hadn't solved anything, but I'd determined three things.

One: Evading questions and telling half-truths weren't doing any good. From here on out, I would blatantly lie if asked about my past.

Two: I needed to know every possible scrap of information about Shinra and its building. When the time came, I could blackmail them into not following me and make a quick exit.

Three: No more than two people were going to die.

\

Jake caught up with me on the way to the History of Midgar classroom. "Ready for the test?"

Act natural. I nodded. "Yeah, but I still don't know how they managed to cram the class into two weeks." Our schedules completely changed tomorrow—we would lose our Study Hall and exchange the History of Midgar for courses that would better prepare us for life-or-death situations. "You?"

"The same. I can't wait for gun safety."

"As long as we cover the guidelines before we hand out any sort of real, this-could-kill-you kind of weapon," I countered drily. "Wouldn't it suck to die by bullet in a gun-safety classroom?"

\

After the History of Midgar test and then Tactics, I headed straight for the Shinra section of the library.

Technically, the entire library was dedicated to Shinra in one way or another; even the materia book had an entire chapter on the esteemed Shinra scientists who had discovered how to synthetically create materia for Shinra employees to use for Shinra's purposes. It didn't really detail the exact process, opting instead to mention that it mimicked the natural version, but the influence was clear nonetheless.

When I'd first stumbled across some sort of Shinra reference in everything, it had been moderately annoying. Now, it was my advantage.

I pulled out the first book and started flipping through it. The only tricky part about this would be finding something that wasn't singing Shinra's praises.

\

The bell rang for lunch, and I put yet another unhelpful book back on the shelf. So far, Shinra was simply a benevolent force. Maybe some food would revive my brain and the laps during Training would give me time to think of other places to look.

\

To signal that the two-hour workout was over, the Training instructor yelled, "Who wants to learn how to throw knives?"

I nearly tripped instead of stopping, my thoughts of blackmailing Shinra abruptly vanishing.

Knife-throwing?

After today, our one-day units of assorted weapons would be over. I'd passed every previous weapon, but why knives? Why now?

I hung back slightly as everyone else rushed over to the door end of the Gym Level, landing myself a spot at the back and slightly off to the side near Jake and Dustin. I could just see over the shoulder pauldrons in front of me, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to.

The instructor held a sheathed knife in his hand. "This is how knives are stored. The sheath prevents it from getting scratched, dulled, or rusted while also protecting your boot or whatever else you might have it in. You pull it out of the sheath like so—" He demonstrated, unsheathing the knife with a flourish. The heartless steel reflected in the overhead lights, glinting its shiny, hungry grin.

I couldn't do this. I fixed my gaze on someone's shoulder pauldron and focused on taking controlled breaths. At some point, I tuned back in to what he was saying in the hope that he was done and we were moving on to the real weapon of the day.

"…demonstrate how it all comes together."

Thunk.

—knife flashed inches away from me and embedded itself into the bark of—

No. I forced myself back to the present but couldn't slow my breathing.

Thunk.

—pressed my back harder against the tree between—

—glanced around for an exit—

—ran for it—

Thunk.

—the next knife found its target.

I choked and cried out in pain as I tripped, crashing into the tree in front of me face-first. I felt the bark rip skin open as I fell, and my right shoulder was a mass of burning agony as I hit the layer of snow covering the ground.

I gritted my teeth and started forcing myself to my feet, ignoring how it was getting difficult to breathe and trying to avoid looking at the splotch of bright red discoloring the snow. I was barely standing and still struggling to breathe when I heard him right behind me. I turned to fight him off, blood partially-blinding me as it streamed down my face, but he grabbed me by the arm despite my efforts. Before I could react, he let loose a punch that whacked against my jaw and threw me down onto the ground.

He ripped the knife out of my shoulder, eliciting a strangled yelp of pain that almost immediately turned into a wet cough. His foot slammed into my side, turning me onto my back as I coughed once more and tasted blood. I saw him heading for me, a murderous glint in his eye as he knelt down and brought the bloodied knife back.

My arms shot up instinctively and managed to hold the knife inches away from my heart despite my injured shoulder's burning pain. Thinking fast, I kicked him in the side, forcing him away from me. I got to my feet as fast as I could, my balance impaired by a dizzy spell brought on by my increasing oxygen deficit. He grabbed me, and I looked up to see that the blade was suddenly about to hit me as it descended once more at the same time that my right knee gave out. The tip sank into my left hip before it slid down, slicing past my knee.

That hurt by far the worst, and I screamed without even realizing it as he released me and sent me back down to the ground. I could feel blood pulsing out over the cut nerves and muscles and just horrendous pain that I couldn't have imagined as I reflexively coughed up more blood and consciousness ebbed away.

He raised the knife again. My eyes slid closed. My lungs refused to inflate.

So this is what it's like to die.

The world abruptly returned, and I sharply inhaled.

With both of my lungs.

The man standing in front of me—the Training instructor—looked at me, concern on his face. "Are you okay?"

Fingers twitched against the leather gloves. I glanced around, desperate for a cue to my surroundings, and recognized them.

Gym Level.

Shinra.

Midgar.

But I'd just been in the woods outside—

"Do you need to sit down?"

I felt cold. Was that why I was shaking?

I can't do this anymore.

"What can't you do anymore?"

My heart punched my throat. He can read minds?

No. I'm thinking out loud.

"Everything."

Why did I answer him?

"What specifically?"

My arms folded into myself as my throat closed.

I can't do this.

"Tanik, look at me."

No.

I somehow found myself meeting his eyes.

"Why don't you want to tell me?"

You'll die. Everyone's going to die.

Of course everyone is going to die. No one lives forever.

It'll be my fault.

"Have you told anyone anything about this?"

No. She'd be dead.

She might be. I should have warned her.

She lied.

I shook my head.

"What is it you're so afraid of?"

The backs of my eyes prickled. I was cracking. Any moment, I would break. Once I broke, everything would spill out, and nothing could possibly put me back together.

"Can I go?" The words somehow emerged, forced past the secret I was choking on, the secret that was breaking me.

The skin around his eyes tightened slightly. "Sure."

I ripped my gaze away and headed for the door, which bled into its watery surroundings as I drew closer.

Escape. I needed to escape.