Living in Max's Shadow – Chapter 37

By MyNameIsCAL

Gazzy is upstairs, arguing loudly with Iggy. All Iggy had done was go up there to give him food and now they're arguing, giving me a headache as if my head doesn't hurt enough.

"He's gone insane," Nudge shakes her head. "How could he do that to us? After everything we've been through? After everything you went through, Fang?"

I half expect someone to say fame and fortune, but no one does. It was easy to blame that, but also an exhausted excuse.

"We spent five year without Itex breathing down our backs," Angel says. "He doesn't want to keep running. He thinks it's best we just let Itex get to us and we fight them."

Perhaps Angel was alluding to the fact that Gazzy is mad at everyone and not just me.

"You and Fang saved his life," Ella frowns. "He didn't even thank you."

My head feels like it's going to explode. "Enough. Gazzy will cool down eventually."

Max looks surprised at my sudden outburst, but says nothing.

The yelling stops and Iggy returns to the dinner table, pulling his chair out with anger and sitting down with a very audible thud.

"Ig," Ella touches his arm and he lets out a breath. "What's wrong?"

"I used to trust him," Iggy speaks, his eyes closed with pain. "He used to be my best friend. Now I feel like I don't know him anymore. I mean, even when we got into the business he changed. It was the reason I asked Fang to be my best man instead."

There's only silence now. I had never thought of it strange that Iggy didn't ask Gazzy.

We could have stayed silent for hours, but there's a crash upstairs that sends us all running out of our seats.

"Gazzy, goddamnit!" Iggy screams.

There's glass scattered all around the floor, a shadow in the distance flying away and shrinking. It was Gazzy, running away. His food is untouched on the bedside table. I move towards the window, ready to go after him, but Max grabs my arm, "Don't…Don't go after him."

We all stare at her.

"He's on his own now," she whispers. "He knows what he's doing is dangerous. He knows if we go after him we'll endanger ourselves. I don't want to let him go, but maybe he needs to go so he can get things together."

Iggy takes a seat on the bed, his hands running through his hair. "He's going to get himself killed."

No one knows what to say to him. Maybe it's because we're all thinking that too.

I don't sleep that night. Max tries to get me to settle into bed, but after she falls asleep, I slip away and down to the kitchen, opening the cabinets in search of alcohol. Halfway through my unsuccessful search, I realize that it's wrong and that I had deliberately been searching in the wrong cabinets. After a while of staring out the window, wondering how far Gazzy had gotten, I sit at the kitchen table with a glass of milk.

"My brother is an idiot."

I turn to see Angel walk in.

"Well…" I trail off, not knowing what to say to her.

"He's sorry, deep down inside, someday, he'll forgive you," Angel continues, sitting across from me. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

I laugh. "I never sleep."

She shrugs. "I guess you should be asking me that."

"I was going to," I admit. "But you would still ask me anyway."

I thought back to those days after Max died. I had absolutely hated being around Angel. She constantly watched my thoughts back then, insisting on spending time together. But over those next five years, some kind of friendship had been made. Enough of a friendship that didn't make me hesitate to talk to her anymore.

She gives me a small smile, almost strained. It fades away though as she says, "Something bad is going to happen?"

There's a sinking feeling my chest now. "What do you mean?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know, but I just know something bad will happen."

"With me?" I continue my questions. Or Max? I think,

She thinks for a moment and shakes her head. "Not you or Max."

"Gazzy…" His name slips off my tongue slowly.

Angel shows no expression. "Maybe."

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" Max shuffles into the kitchen past me, ruffling my hair.

I sip my coffee. "Nope."

She sighs and pulls out eggs from the fridge. "Iggy's upset about last night. I just talked to Ella in the hallway. We're in charge of breakfast."

"Maybe you should let me cook the eggs." I get on my feet and take the frying pan from her.

Breakfast turns out okay. Iggy eats quietly, chewing slowly with too much thought. After a while, he mumbles, "Well, this isn't so bad. Who made them?"

I down the rest of my coffee. "I did."

"Ah, I see." He continues to eat. Iggy was the one that taught me how to make eggs.

No one dares to mention Gazzy's name to Iggy. Even Jack, perhaps the biggest reminder we have of him. He and Angel strike up conversation after breakfast, whispering quietly about Gazzy. I wonder if she tells him her prediction of the future, but then again, maybe he won't understand.

"Can you pour me more coffee?" I ask Max.

"You haven't slept for a day!" she frowns, but gives in anyway because it's better than me asking for a shot of whiskey.

Thanks for reading!