A/N: Okay, no preamble, other than to say my school work will all be done by Friday so then I'll have unfettered time for writing...yay!

Disclaimer: Don't own Castle but I'm happy to own this little world of my own making. Big thanks to AWM, the cast and crew for inspiring it.

The elevator dinged as they reached the top floor of Castle's building. Eduardo, the doorman, had already brought their bags up to the loft, and they stepped out to find them sitting outside the door. Kate found she was nervous about coming home with Rick and Alexis, unsure of how the next few days would go. Last to enter, she stepped hesitantly through the door and stopped dead as she took in the spacious, well-appointed loft. It was huge. Twice the size of her place easily. She glanced at the staircase on her left and looked up in awe. Maybe three times.

Rick moved about busily bringing in the bags and flipping through the mail that had accumulated while he'd been away. Alexis went straight for the kitchen, helping herself to a shiny red apple from the bowl on the counter.

"Richard? Is that you? Oh, you're finally home." The woman's voice caught Kate off guard. Across the loft a stunning older woman, vibrantly dressed, walked into the room through a doorway Kate hadn't yet noticed. Who was that?

"Gram!" Alexis dropped her apple unceremoniously on the counter and rushed to greet the woman. They twirled together, a swirling of red hair and big smiles.

"Oh my dear sweet Alexis. Darling how are you? Are you okay? Your father called and said you had a fall," the older woman set Alexis down gently and looked her over.

"I'm okay, Gram."

"Well, you look okay. Are you sure?" Alexis nodded vigorously.

"Mother!" Rick rushed over and lifted up his mother, twirling her around playfully and laughing.

"Oh, Richard, put me down! Seriously, I'm not as young as I once was, you know." As Rick set her down, the woman caught sight of Kate, still standing silently in the doorway, nervously watching the scene before her.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Richard...who..." Rick looked up as he followed his mother's line of sight to Kate. A wide smile broke across his face.

"Mother, may I introduce to you Officer Kate Beckett of the NYPD." He guided his mother over to Kate as the two women reached out to shake hands. "Kate, this is my mother, Martha Rodgers."

"Oh, it's so nice to meet you Ms. Rodgers," Kate smiled nervously.

"Officer Beckett...Richard, you didn't say we needed protection. Are you still in some kind of danger?" Martha looked nervously between Rick and Kate, wondering what trouble they had truly gotten into. Rick had only given her an abbreviated version of the events on the phone, so she wasn't sure just why an NYPD officer would be at their door.

"What?" Rick asked not understanding his mother's question. "Oh, no, Mother, Kate's not here for our protection, she's...a friend. She's going to be staying with us for a few days."

"Oh, a friend. Well in that case, dear, please call me Martha," she waved away the formalities with a dismissive flick of her hand. Martha took in the woman standing before her, intrigued by what sort of friend her son had made over the last three days. And a police officer, this was going to be interesting. Finally, her eyes fell to Kate's arm, still supported by the sling, and noted her somewhat dishevelled appearance. "My dear, what happened to you? You look like you've been thrown off a cliff."

Kate's face dropped as her mind flashed to just hours before when she literally was thrown off a cliff. Castle saw her expression, and once again, raced in to save her.

"Mother, why don't we go into the kitchen and get some drinks," he guided the woman away. Looking back at Kate apologetically he pointed to the living room and said, "Kate, why don't you sit down and relax. I'll be right there."

Kate found a spot on the couch and Alexis promptly plopped down beside her, snuggling into her side. She put her arm around the girl and hugged her. In the kitchen, she could hear Castle and his mother talking quietly. She could only make out a few phrases:

Rick, "saved Alexis"

Martha, "kidnapped?"

"Johnson"

"a gun?"

"ambush"

"a tranquilizer gun?"

"saved Paige"

"a cliff? Oh dear..."

Clearly Castle was speed-telling their story, rushing his mother through the Cliff's Notes version, no pun intended, to catch her up on their adventure. Finally, Castle set down a glass of iced tea for Kate on the coffee table as he sat down next to her. Martha followed behind, a little paler than she'd been, and addressed Alexis.

"Sweetheart, come, let's get you to bed. You've had a busy day and it's well past your bedtime."

"No, I want to stay with Kate," the little girl hugged her tighter.

Kate helped Alexis to stand up and walked with her over to where Martha was waiting. "I'm going to bed soon too Alexis. Why don't you go with your grandmother and get a good night's sleep? Then we can all have breakfast together in the morning."

"Okay." Alexis took her grandmother's outstretched hand.

Martha looked at Kate genuinely, "Kate, you must be tired. Don't let him keep you up too late. And maybe you can tell me your side of this incredible story tomorrow if you feel up to it. Goodnight you two," She hesitated a moment and then reached over to give Kate a hug and whispered in her ear, "Thank you Kate. Rick told me you saved our Alexis. We will be forever grateful for that."

Startled by the display of affection from this woman she had just met, Kate replied simply, "You're welcome. I'm glad I was there."

Kate stood still, watching Martha and Alexis head up the stairs. Rick stood behind her and put his arms around her protectively. "Hey, how you holding up?" he asked.

Kate leaned back into him, her head resting on the wide expanse of his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. It felt like she was wrapped tight in a warm blanket. "Hey, I'm okay. Tired."

"Well, then, let's get you to bed." Kate turned to look at him, a little unsure of his meaning. "Guest room is upstairs," he added simply, anticipating her question. She smiled in thanks and he took her hand, leading her to the stairs that Martha and Alexis had just traveled moments before.

Picking up her suitcase, they ascended the steps and made their way to the guest room. Castle put her bag down on the bed and showed Kate around the room and en suite bathroom. Not surprisingly, he had everything she needed.

"So, do you need anything else? Um...are you okay to...um...well, do you need help...uh...getting changed?" Castle shifted awkwardly. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her naked, in fact, he'd thought of it more than a few times over the last few days, but even he knew this wasn't the right time for that. But, if she needed it, he would get over his nerves enough to help her.

Kate laughed nervously, "No, I think I'll be okay. But thanks for the offer. Besides, we haven't even gone on a date yet, Castle. You're going to have to at least buy me dinner first before I let you take my clothes off." She looked away self-consciously, surprised at her brazen flirtation.

Castle moved in seductively grabbing her waist and pulling her towards him. "So, you're saying if I buy you dinner, I can help you take your clothes off?" He leaned down to kiss her but she backed away before their lips met.

"At least, Castle, I said you at least have to buy me dinner. Plus, I don't usually put out on the first date."

"Ah, second date kind of girl are you?" Castle asked playfully, swooping down and kissing her quickly before she could back away.

"Let's just take it one step at a time, shall we?" She laughed and returned his kiss.

"You know," Castle said, "we've had dinner a couple of times together now, maybe we could count this week as our first date?"

"Hmm, trying to get out of taking me out on the town, Castle?"

"Oh, no, definitely not. It's just, well, you're injured and I thought maybe it might be a while before you're actually up to going on a real date. And well," his hand moved slowly underneath her shirt around her waist, testing to see how far she'd let him go. "I just thought, well, I wouldn't want your two-date rule to prevent you from doing anything...else...that you might want to do before we have a chance to go out...officially." Castle's voice trailed off as he leaned down and kissed her neck. Kate arched into him and her breath caught as the trail of kisses he was leaving sent shivers up and down her spine.

"Mmmm...well, I see what you're saying..."

"Just...trying to make sure you don't...sacrifice your values...for me..."

Castle nipped at her ear lobe causing Kate to whimper in surprise. "I think...maybe...tomorrow...I could...we could...get a burger...or something..."

"Yeah?" Castle stopped and looked up at her. "We could go to Remy's. They have great burgers there."

Kate laughed at his about-face at the mention of food, though she suspected it might be as much about the thought of what might happen after their second date. "Sure, Castle. I love Remy's. Best fries in town."

"Great. Okay, so tomorrow night then? A real date?"

Kate nodded. "Sounds good. But now, if it's okay with you, I really do need to get some sleep."

"Yes, of course. I'm pretty tired too. If you need anything...anything..." he said suggestively, "my room's downstairs."

"Thanks, Castle. For everything."

"Always." Castle leaned in and gave her one last searing kiss before walking towards the door. Just before he left, he turned and smiled. "Sweet dreams Kate."

Light was just beginning to filter through the curtains when Kate's eyes slowly opened. The first thing her eyes focused on was a mop of flaming red hair, feathered on the pillow next to her. She blinked several times trying to remember why Alexis was now lying in her bed, nestled up close.

She could vaguely remember a middle of the night plea from the little girl to crawl in with her. Something about a bad dream. Had she fallen out of her bed? Poor thing, she must have been scared. Kate found it interesting that Alexis had come into her room instead of going to see her father, but then, maybe it didn't seem that strange considering she had been the one to save Alexis.

As she looked around the room, Kate was further surprised to see Castle passed out in the lounge chair beside the bed. Now that was something she didn't remember happening. When did he come into her room? And why? And why was he now sleeping in the chair?

Before she could whisper to him, Castle bolted upright with a start. He looked over at Kate and Alexis, and finding Kate's concerned eyes staring back at him, he grinned sheepishly.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning," she replied, her voice still rough from sleep.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"I did, though I don't think Alexis had such a good night." Kate looked down at the little girl, still passed out soundly next to her.

"I know. I went to check on her in the middle of the night but she wasn't in her bed. I came to ask you if you knew where she was, and I found the two of you cuddled together. Did she have a bad dream?"

"Yes," Kate said remembering the conversation. "She said she fell out of bed. Asked if she could sleep with me because she knew if she started to fall again I would catch her."

Castle's face softened as he looked at his little girl compassionately. "Poor kid. Thanks for taking her in. You could have sent her down to me."

"No, it's okay. I kind of liked having her here. It made me feel a little better knowing she was okay."

"I know what you mean. Once I saw she was here, well, I just couldn't bring myself to go back downstairs. I guess I just wanted to be close in case she needed anything. I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not. I'm just sorry you had to sleep in a chair."

"Well, I thought it would be a bit presumptuous of me to just climb into bed with you. I mean, we haven't had our date yet, and well, I'm not the kind of guy who puts out before the second date anyways." He winked at her jokingly.

Kate laughed as she sat up stiffly. "You know what? It's still early, why don't you come and snuggle here with Alexis for a bit." When Castle raised his eyebrows in question, she replied, "I'm going to have a bath and try to work out some of these kinks and knots."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, no sense moving Alexis and waking her. And you look like you could use a couple more hours of sleep."

"Well, this chair was pretty comfortable, but I probably could sleep another hour or so. But wake me up when you're done and we can make some breakfast."

"Okay." Kate climbed stiffly out of bed making room for Castle to slide in next to Alexis. The minute he put his head down he breathed in deeply, calmed by the scent she left on her pillow. As he put an arm protectively over his daughter, he felt Kate lean down and place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Sweet dreams." Castle smiled and drifted peacefully back to sleep.

As Kate stepped reluctantly out of the over-sized tub, she stretched to try to work out some of the more stubborn knots in her body. The bath had been so relaxing, so luxurious, and much nicer than the small shower stall in her place. She had added a small amount of bubble bath to the water and relaxed fully into the fragrant vanilla spice wafting up with the steam of the hot water.

Now, she stood in front of the mirror, wrapped in an over-sized fluffy towel examining the evidence of the previous day's adventures. Bruises were starting to show on various parts of her body, in places she hadn't even realized had been bumped. As she turned, she found the couple of wounds on her back were now an angry red color. She had managed to remove the gauze pads covering them before getting in the tub, but was now unsure of how she would redress them. She reached around in an attempt to rub some antibiotic cream along the cuts but just couldn't reach them.

"Dammit," she cursed under her breath.

"Kate?" Rick's voice came muffled through the door. "Are you okay?"

"Um...yeah, I'm okay...I just...dammit." She tried again unsuccessfully.

"Kate, I'm coming in, okay?" The bathroom door eased open a crack and Rick poked his head through, his eyes downcast to avoid seeing anything she didn't want him to see. "Are you okay? Really?"

Kate breathed out in frustration, glaring at herself angrily in the mirror. She hated asking for help. "No," she finally relented, her shoulders sagging. "I need some help."

"Can I...?"

"It's okay, you can come in. I'm, well, mostly decent." Kate pulled the towel just a little bit tighter around her body.

Rick moved into the room, but stopped dead at the sight before him. Kate stood facing away from him, her long wavy hair dripping wet down her back. The two ends of her towel were pulled up against the front of her body, but hung looser around her waist behind her. He could see the muscles in her shoulders and upper back, toned from working out at the precinct gym. He swallowed thickly as his eyes trailed down along the curve of her waist to the swell of her hips that disappeared beneath the dark brown towel. Kate's olive skin was darkened from sun and glowed in the warm light of the bathroom.

Oh my god, she's spectacular.

"Castle?"

Rick looked up to see her staring at his reflection in the mirror. He closed his mouth, which had apparently fallen open at the sight of her, and tried to regain his composure. "I...um..."

"Castle," Beckett had intended to reprimand him, but instead her voice caught in her throat and came out all breathy and seductive.

He moved a step closer and put his hands on her waist, still staring at her in the mirror. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

Kate looked down slightly embarrassed by the complement and the passion he was exuding.

"I'm a mess." She said simply.

"No, you're stunning." Castle leaned down and softly kissed her neck, his hands grazing her waist and resting warmly on her abdomen. Responding to his touch, and wanting more, Kate turned in his arms and reached up to kiss him. Keeping one hand securely on her towel, she grasped the back of his head, pulling him closer.

Castle got lost in her. The taste of her lips and tongue, mixed with the heady scent of vanilla spice coming off her skin, were like an elixir, a veritable love potion. He found himself pressing harder into her, wanting to feel all of her, wanting to take her right then and there. Second date be damned.

As his hands moved along the soft, still damp skin of her exposed back, she suddenly arched forward into him and broke their kiss, a groan and sharp intake of breath signalling sudden pain.

"Owww..."

"Kate? Kate, what's wrong, what is it?" Castle looked at her in concern.

"My back, it..." her voice trailed off as she rested her head on his chest, the stinging slowly subsiding. Castle looked around to her reflection in the mirror. Her towel had fallen loosely around her waist, and he caught sight for the first time of the cuts and bruises that were covering her body.

"Kate, oh my god!" How did I not see that before? Castle admonished himself for letting his emotions take over so completely that he hadn't even noticed the scars and discolored marks all over her body.

"No, Castle, it's okay."

"Okay? How can you say that? Look at you." Castle turned her around to inspect the damage more closely.

"No, really, it's not that bad. It's just, I think your hand rubbed against one of the cuts."

"Oh, Kate, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Castle, I'm fine. Really. I just, maybe you could just help me bandage them up?"

"Of course. Kate, I'm really so sorry."

Kate turned around sharply and took his face in her free hand. "Castle, I'm fine. It's okay." She reached up and kissed him, though he was hesitant to return it, his mind still on the evidence left from their encounter with Johnson. When she finally broke away, he reached up to gently run his finger tips down her cheek and settled them just beneath her chin.

"You're sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm fine."

Castle nodded and smiled lightly, though it didn't quite get to his eyes. He reached around and picked up the antibiotic cream and she turned and allowed the towel to fall down even further. He pushed her still dripping hair around to one side and ran his hand gently down her spine. As he rubbed the ointment into the first cut, he saw her wince from the sting of the cold cream on her raw skin.

"Sorry, sorry," he whispered apologetically. Kate just gritted her teeth and tried to breath. It felt like he was pouring lemon juice on the cuts.

When he had finally finished, Kate secured the towel more firmly around her body. Castle gently slid his hands across the top of her shoulders and kissed the back of her head. After a moment, he smiled at her in the mirror and placed his hands lightly on her waist.

Kate leaned into him, pressing her newly bandaged back against his chest and resting her head against his shoulder. She pulled his hands from her hips and wrapped them around her body. The combination of the steam still warming the air and his strong arms enveloping her helped her to relax as the pains in her body subsided.

"Better?" he asked her.

She smiled back at him and nodded. "Much. Thank you."

He laughed lightly, "Maybe I missed my calling and should have gone into medicine."

"You think so?"

"Well, I think I have a pretty good bedside manner." He turned her again in his arms and kissed her deeply, being careful not to touch her injured back.

Kate finally broke away and looked at him teasingly. "You treat all your patients like that Nurse Castle?"

"Mmmm, only the really beautiful ones," he said in between kisses as his hands trailed lower and lower on her body.

Just as they reached the swell of her hips and threatened to move lower, Kate pulled her lips away from his. "Castle, Alexis is in the next room. Maybe we should..."

Rick stopped the progress of his hands and put his forehead against hers. "You want me to lock the door?" he asked her with a deadpanned expression on his face. Though she could tell he was joking.

"Castle!" She slapped him lightly and laughed.

"No, you're right. Plus, I'm saving myself anyways."

"You are?" she asked incredulously. "For what?"

"For our date tonight. Don't tell me you've forgotten already."

"No, Castle, I haven't forgotten."

"Are you still feeling up to it? If you're not, I'd understand. We could get take out if you'd rather." Castle looked at her with a little disappointment in his eyes, hoping she wouldn't back out. He was really looking forward to it.

"No, I'm fine. I want to go. It would be nice to have some time just the two of us."

"You mean without having to chase someone through the woods?"

Kate looked down, suddenly reminded yet again of the events of the previous day.

"What, too soon?" Castle asked. "Sorry, coping mechanism."

"No, it's okay Castle. Just, it's going to take a while to get past this."

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I'm not really sure how to deal with all this. I wish none of this had happened."

"I know. But it did. We have to accept that we can't change what we went through. We can only try to move forward."

"How do we do that?"

Kate wrapped her arms around Castle's waist and snuggled her head on his chest. As she sighed into his neck, her warm breath made goose bumps appear on his flesh. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask."

"Why?"

She hesitated. Were they really doing this now? She had shared a lot of her past with him already, but she hadn't told him everything, hadn't let him see how truly broken she was. "Because in the past, I've had to fight to keep my emotions in check. I've pushed them down, hidden them, insisted to everyone around me that I was fine."

"How did that work out?"

Kate let out a hollow laugh, "Not so well."

"You know, I think we're not so different. I usually channel my emotions into my writing. I'll write non-stop for days, barely eating or sleeping, just to avoid dealing with whatever it is. A lot of times it never even ends up making it into my books because it's really just a roadmap of what I was feeling, but rarely relates to the characters I wrote it for. I'll admit it probably isn't the best way to get it out. Alexis usually has to force me to eat when I get like that."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. I go days where I never leave the precinct. I'll stare at the murder board for hours and hours just thinking about the case so I don't have to think about whatever is weighing me down. I use the job to avoid dealing with things. Sometimes I'll sleep for an hour or two in the breakroom, and I basically live on coffee and food from the vending machine, when I remember to eat."

Castle thought for a moment, let the silence fill the room. "Want to try something different?" he finally asked.

Kate pulled back from his chest and looked up into his eyes, unsure of what he was getting at. "What do you mean?"

"Well, in the past we've both essentially bottled everything up and burned ourselves to the ground to avoid feeling whatever it is. But Kate, things are different now. We have each other now. Maybe we should try to do the opposite."

Kate looked at him questioningly, so he continued. "Maybe we should make a pact that whatever we're feeling, we should share it with each other, not hide anything. I've never experienced anything like this Kate and I don't know what to do, I don't know how to deal with it. But we both went through it together, so maybe we should keep working through it together. Help each other so we don't get lost in it. Does that make sense?"

Kate hesitated and returned her head back to his chest. He was right, it was the exact opposite of what she always did. And as she thought about it, she realized that what he was proposing scared the hell out of her and she didn't know if she could do it. Panic started to inch its way up from the pit of her stomach as she frantically tried to think of what to say. "Castle, I..." she started but then she faltered.

"Kate, I know this is scary," he pressed on, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "I'm scared too. But I need to be able to figure out how to get through this so I can help get Alexis through it. And I haven't got the slightest idea how. Usually when I'm dealing with things, I barricade myself into my office for days, but I don't want to do that this time. I can't do that this time. I've got to be there for her. But it's not just her. We're all going to need help dealing with everything, and I want to be there for you too, for whatever you need. And I hope you want to be there for me..." Castle paused, hoping she would speak up. She leaned back and looked at him, trying to take solace in his deep blue eyes.

"I do, I just..." Kate let her eyes drop to the floor. She felt the weight of this challenge pull her down. She wanted to do this, wanted to change. She knew she would be able to be there for him, but allowing him to be there for her? Hell, she didn't even want to ask him to help bandage her cuts. How was she going to let go and share all of her emotions with him.

And for Kate, this was more than just one day of adventures. She wanted to talk to him about everything she had been working through, not just this week, but these last three years since her mother died. Was killed. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted him to be able to make it okay. But there was a very big part of her that knew there wasn't anything he could do to make it better.

Castle pulled her back in towards him and tilted her head up until he found her eyes. "Kate?"

She pulled away and leaned back against the counter trying to distance herself from him. She didn't want to disappoint him but she just didn't know how to do what he was asking. But he refused to let her break away from him completely. He took her hand gently in his.

"Kate," he whispered one last attempt. "I know this is going to be hard. For me too. But can't we just try?"

The simplicity of his plea seemed to strike home with her. She could try right? If it didn't work, well, then was she really any worse off? She could always go back to her old ways, bottle things up, hide from her feelings. She would be stuck, but she'd lived like that for three years now. She was used to it.

But if she tried, if they really tried, well...

Kate knew Castle wouldn't be able to make her past better, wouldn't be able to truly take that hurt away, but maybe he could help give her the future she'd always wanted. The future her mom would have wanted for her. Maybe...

Finally, Kate found strength from somewhere deep within her, or maybe it came from him, from the way Castle was looking at her with love and hope and just a little bit of pleading.

Kate looked up resolutely. "Okay Castle. Let's try."