Chapter 35
"Congratulations on your upcoming marriage."
Suleiman stiffened as he greeted the latest guests who had arrived at the palace. None of them really cared that he was going to be married. They only wanted to make an impression they somehow added value. Most were trying to keep the Ottomans at bay, fearful that the sultan would continue to expand his territory.
"I am blessed," replied Suleiman formally.
"Indeed," spoke a tall, thin man. He had black hair and shrewd eyes. Suleiman remembered this was one of the nobles appointed in one of the provinces the Ottomans used to collect taxes from neighboring lands. The man smiled. "Still, it is surprising as she has no political ties. Certainly, you will choose your second wife to strengthen your alliances with us Christians."
Suleiman's eyes narrowed. "I am not even married to my first wife! And here you are already moving in like the vultures you are to bribe me with your daughters."
The man bowed his head. "Forgive me, Prince Suleiman. I am only seeking what will be beneficial for our future."
"I do not believe the sultan would take kindly to your inappropriate timing of trying to benefit your territory," interrupted the sultan's chief eunuch. "I suggest you hold your tongue when you go before him."
"Of course," murmured the man, now appearing as the humble servant.
Suleiman scowled as the man gave him an insincere smile and left with the others to be escorted to see the sultan.
"Why will you not see her?"
Suleiman whirled around to find his mother standing before him. He bowed respectfully to her. "Mother…"
"You have been avoiding me. Will you not answer my question? You tell me that you love the girl and then act cruelly toward her. What is the reason for this?"
Suleiman shrugged indifferently. "You know she is from another world. She must learn our ways."
"That does not mean the Ottomans are cruel. You have not seen her since the presentation to the sultan."
"Ah yes, I am sure she wants to see me after I punished her," replied Suleiman in a sarcastic voice.
"It is my understanding she insulted the sultan in front of many."
"And so she is responsible for receiving such a punishment," he said in a soft voice.
His mother walked closer to him. "I see. The Ottoman tradition; that a woman only brings punishment upon herself."
Suleiman swallowed hard. "Yes."
She studied his face. "Then why are you regretting such a thing?"
"I…regret nothing."
"Yes you do," she said quietly. "I am your mother. I see it in your eyes."
Suleiman's hands tightened into fists. "Excuse me; I must be ready for other guests." He bowed his head and quickly walked around her, hurrying to his apartment. He slammed the door shut and his slaves cringed in terror at his temper.
"Away with you!" Suleiman snapped at the slaves. "I wish to be alone!"
The slaves scattered, leaving to their nearby rooms in case they were needed. Suleiman sat down and held his head in his hands.
"You are miserable."
Suleiman's head snapped up to find his mother in the doorway. Damn it, he should have locked the door. Slowly, she approached him and he grew tense.
"Why do you deny your heart?" she asked. "You must at least try."
"She does not understand our ways! She will never accept me now!" Suleiman shook his head. "Rashid believes I betrayed her, that I led my father's soldiers to her. But the truth is I had no idea they were following me! I am angry at myself for being so ignorant. I thought I was protecting her when she instead ended up being caged!"
"And the whip?" asked his mother in a quiet voice. "Why did you not let someone else administer the punishment?"
Suleiman looked up at her. "Because your husband threatened to take her as his fourth wife unless I did it! I had no choice!"
"So what your brother said was true," came a sweet voice he knew all too well.
Suleiman's mother stepped aside as Rashida appeared in the doorway.
"You…brought her here?" asked Suleiman in a strained voice.
"How else can I have her hear that my son truly loves her despite such a punishment or his anger?" She glanced at Rashida. "Now there is only the truth between you," she said with a smile. His mother reached down and kissed him on the cheek.
After his mother left, Suleiman's heart was beating so hard, he swore it was going to come out of his damn chest. Allah! Why did Rashida affect him like this? But he already knew the answer.
There was an awkward silence between them and Suleiman finally cleared his throat. "Would you…like to sit?"
Rashida slowly nodded but did not meet his eyes. He stood and motioned for her to follow him over to a large couch. There were so many pillows he had to clear a space for her. After she sat down, Suleiman hesitated. Now with at least five pillows in his arms, he was not quite sure what to do with them. He could not place them on the couch as he wanted to sit with her. If he threw them on the floor, what message did that send her as to how he treated things?
Suleiman considered slamming his head into a nearby wall to knock his mind back into place. Why was he thinking of such ridiculous things?
But Rashida gave him a small smile. "Just throw them on the floor."
Oh great, she knew what he had been thinking. Then again, how could she not as he stood there like an idiot?
"Um…are you going to sit down?" she asked.
Suleiman dropped the pillows and stepped over them. He sat down and was reminded of his heart beating when she looked right at him. She was more beautiful than he had words for…
"Ahmed told me about…," she hesitated.
"So my brother visited you?" Why was he seeking her company? His brother had more than enough women…
"Yes."
"Alone?"
"Um…yes."
"Where?" he demanded. Rashida looked at him with puzzlement and Suleiman cursed under his breath. He was being overbearing as hell but he could not help himself.
"Ah…in your mother's court…the room where I sleep…"
"Your bedroom?" growled Suleiman. "Were you dressed?"
"Of course I was!" she snapped.
Suleiman had to put a chain on himself. "I am sorry…I am not used to…" What was he going to say? That he was not used to being so hopelessly in love that he could not even stand the thought of his brother alone with her?
"Jealousy?"
Suleiman looked at her. "Excuse me?"
"I am sure it is a new emotion for you. You can have any woman you wish."
He swallowed. "Yes…"
"Such as Nicole?"
Suleiman hesitated. His mother had been able to make him admit his real feelings for Rashida to overhear. His plan was to keep Rashida angry at him so she did not associate him with any type of escape. If his father found out he had any part, Suleiman was extremely worried what the sultan would do to her.
"Well?" she asked with her eyes suddenly blazing.
"I already told you that I had her. It was…only the one time. Suleiman looked down at his hands. "I am not Christian. Such a thing is acceptable for the Ottomans. You know this."
"Yes, your brother told me of the countless women he has in his bed. I am sure you are no different."
He raised his eyes to look at her. His mother was right. Suleiman was miserable without her. Stupidly, he gave into his heart. "I want no other woman, Rashida."
"I find that very hard to believe when you had sex with Nicole! And then you justify it by saying it is acceptable because you are an Ottoman!"
To his shock, she suddenly burst into tears. His heart broke that he upset her. "Please…Rashida…do not cry. I swear to you that I took her out of anger. It was not love. It was not like when you and I…"
Rashida wiped away her tears and crossed her arms over her chest.
He tried again. "I am sorry that I hurt you. I should have been more sensitive to how you would feel. I have not even had another woman since the night you and I spent together in the desert. Please…you must believe me."
"I do believe you," Rashida said as she sniffed. She wiped her eyes again.
"You do?" Damn it, he should find a handkerchief or something for her. But he did not want to call a slave to interrupt what she wanted to say.
"Yes, Ahmed told me," she said in ragged breaths as she tried to control her tears again.
"He did? So…why do you cry now?"
"I-I am afraid."
"I am sorry I punished you. If I could have done anything to stop it, I would have."
"It…it is not that." She gave a bitter laugh. "Not that I enjoyed it or anything."
Suleiman smiled sadly at her. "Never again, Rashida. I swear to you. I will never do such a thing ever again." She continued to cry and he looked down at his robe. His hands went to the bottom of it, ripping the material with his hands.
"What are you doing?" asked Rashida in alarm. "Oh…"
He handed her a piece of the cloth in the form of a handkerchief.
Rashida gave a slight laugh. "You did not have to do that," she said as she took the cloth to wipe her eyes and then her nose.
He looked at her and knew he could no longer hold back. "I would do anything for you," he whispered.
--
Rashida's hand froze with the cloth. "You…would?"
"Yes," he said in a firm voice.
She blinked and looked down. Could she trust him? Would he be able to help her?
"Why are you afraid?"
"What?"
"You said you are afraid of me but not because of the punishment."
Rashida felt butterflies in her stomach. "I am afraid of you because…"
Damn it. She was going to burst into tears again. Her emotions were uncontrollable at this point. Her head was spinning from the conversation with Ahmed. And her visit with the sultan had been terrifying.
"Rashida?" he whispered.
New tears emerged no matter how hard she tried. Oh hell. "Because…I am afraid I will fall in love with you!" Rashida turned away from him, trying to hide her face that by now must have looked awful with streaks from her tears.
She heard him mummer something in his native tongue and then his hand touched her shoulder.
"What…what did you say?" she said in between breaths. Rashida hated that she could not understand what he said when he spoke in another language.
"I said I already…love you," Suleiman replied softly.
She slowly turned around. "I-I cannot stay here. Please...I…," she gulped for air. "I will eventually…die if I stay here. You know it is true," she said in a strained voice.
"Even if you loved me?"
Damn it, she wanted to cry yet again. "I-I cannot…make that sacrifice. So it can only mean…"
"You do not love me," he finished, looking at her with sad eyes.
Actually that was not true. Rashida knew deep down she did love him. Even if she managed to escape, he would haunt her heart for the rest of her days. But remaining in his world, sharing him with other women, being unable to read…her very soul wept at the possibility. Even with Suleiman's love, she would never be happy in these lands. Her spirit would die.
She actually for the first time in her life silently cursed her father. The man had taught her too well…she was not naïve like most other women, even in Paris. Truly, ignorance was bliss.
He took hold of her hands. "What if we found ways to allow you more freedom? What if you could read?"
"Your brother said the same thing…"
"He did?" asked Ahmed looking truly surprised.
"I think he is willing to do whatever is necessary to keep me because…of how you feel."
"Rashida, if Ahmed agrees, then perhaps we can find a way-"
"No…" she said tearfully. "You said at one time that would be dangerous. That people could question a ruler's strength if such a thing happened!"
"But if it were to remain secret…"
"And what of other women? You will be forced to marry! You know as well as I that such marriages are needed for political alliances and wealth."
His face fell. "Yes," he said softly.
"Please…Raja," she whispered.
Suleiman closed his eyes and squeezed her hands. When he finally looked at her again, she braced herself for his response.
"I wish I was still Raja. Then I would be free as well." He reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I was serious when I told that night in Paris about pretending to die, making the Ottomans believe I was truly gone so that I could be with you." Suleiman shook his head. "But it is far more difficult to plan such a thing for both of us now that we are here. We are constantly watched."
"Maybe…maybe there is a way if we just think…" said Rashida as hope filled in her chest.
"No, Rashida. If I truly love you, it is I who must make the sacrifice for the good of my people."
She stiffened, wondering if he was going to declare that she would be forced to marry him; that his sacrifice would be to endure her unhappiness for the good of his people.
Suleiman's fingers now traced her cheek, trailing downward until they brushed her lips. He drew a deep breath and his answer was a complete surprise.
"I will find a way for you to escape…and set you free."
--
"I am not giving her up!"
"Hamid, will you calm down?" asked Raoul. They were alone in the dining area. But neither of them had touched the food on their plates.
"Well, stop saying that the shah wants her!"
"I was only trying to reiterate that we have something of value and-"
"She is not a thing!"
Raoul sighed. "God, you really love her."
"What of it?" snapped Hamid. "You were the one who has even hinted at such a thing all along!"
"Yes, but I did not think it would go this far," he admitted. Raoul narrowed his eyes. "Speaking of that…just how far are we talking about?"
"What?" asked Hamid, growing uncomfortable.
"You were kissing her when I interrupted. But you have…not gone any further, have you?"
Hamid felt his face grow hot. "It is none of your business."
"Surely she is a virgin."
"How do you know?"
"Well it is quite common in these lands for that to be a condition of marriage. If a woman is touched before she is married, it disgraces not only her but her family."
Shit. Hamid looked down at the food on his plate.
Raoul tilted his head. "It was a good thing I stopped you."
Silence.
"Hamid," said Raoul in a stern voice. "You had better not bed with the girl or it will make things far worse."
Now Hamid's stomach felt sick. He had to tell the truth. "Then things are worse."
"What?"
"I love her, so it does not matter," muttered Hamid.
"What the hell do you mean things are worse?" asked Raoul in a loud voice. "When did you have the opportunity to-,"
"You left the room," Hamid reminded him.
"Apparently I made an error in that decision," replied Raoul dryly. "I thought you would have had a lot of talking to do after it was discovered she belongs to the shah."
"For the final time, she does not belong to him!" exclaimed Hamid as he pounded his fist on the table.
"Obviously," said Raoul in a disapproving voice.
"I suppose you waited until marriage."
"Yes."
"Erik certainly did not."
"Erik and Alexandria have nothing to do with this situation and you know it!" Raoul shot back.
"My lord?"
Hamid looked up to find Muti in the doorway. Trying to recompose himself, Hamid straightened.
"Yes?"
"You have not touched your food. Is it not pleasing to you?"
"Ah…no. The food is fine."
"But you are not eating. Are you still not feeling well?"
Hamid shook his head. "I am just tired."
Muti nodded. "You are letting yourself become too stressed. If you take one of the harem girls, you may find the release you need."
Hamid picked up a fork and stabbed the meat on his plate. "No."
"The families are quite upset that none of their daughters have yet pleased you." Before Hamid could refuse again, the old man looked thoughtfully at him. "I have an idea. I will not pressure you any further if you agree to a massage."
"A massage?" Hamid eyed him suspiciously. "What kind of massage?"
Muti laughed. "Just to rub your shoulders, neck…the muscles that are tense. It may relax you."
"What is he saying?" asked Raoul. When Hamid translated for him, Raoul nodded. "It is probably wise for you to agree. You need to at least make some use of these girls. We cannot avoid the situation much longer."
"If you think one of them is going to take my mind off of Sevdi, you can think again."
"I did not say that. Look, you need to be with them somehow, so this is the best solution in the meantime."
Muttering to himself, Hamid finally nodded at Muti. He glared at Raoul. "Fine, but you better tell Sevdi there is nothing else going on."
Raoul shrugged. "I will tell her but I do not think she expects you to be true only to her. It was not how she was raised."
"Tell her," Hamid demanded. He stood up and followed Muti down the hall. Entering a room, Hamid saw a small bed.
"Please undress."
Hamid looked at Muti blankly.
The old man smiled. "Unless you would rather have the girls do it for you?"
Hamid frowned and quickly got undressed. He got on top of the bed and lay face down. Muti covered his lower half with a blanket, bowed, and left.
Maybe this was a good idea. A massage might relax him and give him and clear his mind. The door opened and Hamid turned his head toward it.
Oh shit. The small harem filed through the doorway…each of them completely naked.
"Wait," he said in a hoarse voice. The girls stopped. "Put…put some clothes on first." The girls dropped their heads…as if they should be ashamed of their bodies. "Oh for God's sake," grumbled Hamid for a moment in French. He switched back to their language. "It has nothing to do with…" How could he explain to them he only wanted Sevdi? Whatever. He had to do something with these girls to please them. He closed his eyes, determined not to look at them. "Go ahead. But you are not to touch my…lower half."
The girls giggled.
How the hell did he get into this mess? He was certain Muti insisted the girls be nude so he would be tempted. But Hamid knew he would not give in to such a thing as he eagerly wanted to be with Sevdi again. It had actually been a few days since he took her virginity. Hamid had only been able to see glimpses of her because he had been so damn busy.
Men wanting to serve as soldiers were showing up at the palace constantly. Their first attack on a unit of Ottoman soldiers was successful, capturing a few of them alive. Hamid hoped to get more information from them but dreaded the thought of torture. He was hoping bribery might work.
Hamid at least earlier in the day managed to whisper in Sevdi's ear that he wanted to see her tonight. Her eyes gave away her answer and he was thrilled that Sevdi now gave into her heart. He had to find a way to keep her with him…
Hamid felt numerous fingers on his shoulders, arms, and back. Christ, this felt fantastic! He was thoroughly beginning to relax and enjoy their warm hands on his aching muscles when a low voice cut into the pleasure he felt.
"How easily you forget about your sister."
Hamid snapped his head up and the girls gave little cries of fright when they looked in the direction of the voice.
Erik now stood in the doorway.