-1Disclaimer: Don't own any of it. These are so unnecessary. FF provides a universal disclaimer. Oh well.
EPOV
I woke up to the blaring of my alarm clock at ten past nine in the morning.
Fuck.
I was already ten minutes late for my nine o'clock class. Not to mention the 8 a.m. run I hoped to fit in.
Fuck that.
I threw on the first pair of pants and shirt I found on the floor, hopped to my ensuite bathroom while pulling on my socks, arrived at the sink and splashed cold water on my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror; death looked me back in the face. I had bags under my eyes and gross eye crusty stuff on the inner parts of my eye from still being half asleep, not to mention my hair was in absolute disarray.
Sex hair.
I still couldn't recall how I came to arrive back here last night and not in some random girl's pants. I remember a bar, and then another bar, and then a sports bar (why the fuck I'd show my face in one of those repugnant joints I'll never know, although I'm sure the frat brothers had something to do with it) and then a few more bars. I remember chicks and more chicks and the twins and grinding and fighting off guys who wanted to have a threesome with my twins... my twins, the twins I promised to protect from the evils that are Ivy League frat boys, and then I remember Bella.
No... no that can't be right.
Bella's at Harvard. This is Brown. Bella was not at the bar. Bella was not one of the chicks I encountered last night.
And it's a good fucking thing too because I must have been wasted out of my mind and I'd be damned if she saw me acting belligerent and self-destructive like I'd recently been behaving under the influence of my recent favourite, Johnnie Walker Blue Label.
I hobbled back to my bedroom and noticed my bed was empty, which was for once in my life a relief. I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if I went out and fucked some college broad after putting Bella on a pedestal for months and not even so much as looking at another girl because my mind was in tunnel vision, and the vision it was focused on was Bella.
I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and began flipping through photos of the night; me and Jasper, me and Alice, a group photo of all of us, a photo of myself and my roommates, one of me, Rose and Emmett.... cool... Rose and Emmett came by?
My phone flickered and died before I could get through the rest of the photos but that didn't matter. I had fucking Introduction to Business to hustle my ass to and I'd be fucked if I missed the first day on account of being hungover and still a little wasted. That shit wouldn't land me a job on Wall Street.
I popped about six mints and grabbed my laptop and threw it in my bag and practically flew down the stairs. Cardboard boxes were strewn across the room and shit was just carelessly thrown everywhere. I made a mental note to call the cleaners in for some serious damage control before my epic "back to school" bash of the century which was happening this Friday, only three days away.
The guys I was living with were in some random fraternity and insisted on bringing their pals over which bumped the guest list up some hundred or so and on top of that anyone who was anyone was coming, but since it was a Cullen party it was invite only, as usual. The location may have changed but the rules did not, thus there'd be no riff-raff walking through the doors of this exclusive residence.
The twins were heading out the door, dressed as skanky as possible and did they really need to be drawing so much attention to themselves? They were already European supermodels which bumped them up a few notches in most people's books, tanned as hell and practically glistening, but they had to wear all this clingy revealing couture shit on top of the aforementioned fact, which just wasn't sitting right with me.
"Gee, Jules, hold up," I called out. They whipped around and a huge smile grew on Gigi who was thrilled to see me up at this obscene hour of the morning. Crack of fucking dawn...
"Bonjour Eddie," she purred, and damnit these girls didn't even have to try and they sounded seductive and exotic. Those accents that made each word roll off the tip of their lips didn't hurt, either.
"Ladies, are you really wearing that?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at their barely-there outfits. Gigi wore some sad excuse for jean cut-offs that barely skimmed her thighs with a skimpy loose white tank top while Juli wore beige shorts and a flowy see-through blouse with a camisole or some shit underneath but it barely covered her better assets, if you get my drift. To top it off they had their jewels and fancy sandals and all that shit so if the fact that they weren't supermodels that exuded sex out of every single pore didn't capture the attention of every man and woman, the fact that they dressed to the nines certainly made them stand out, demanding the attention of any innocent passersby.
"Yes we are!!" Juli exclaimed, "Now hurry up Eddie, or you're going to be muchos late."
Great. A third language. "Spanish Jules? Really?" I teased, hoping they weren't going to start conversing in tri-lingual conversations with me and actually expect me to keep up. I should've majored in modern languages for fuck sakes.
After moments of deliberation and a lot of hesitation from the girls (because hell, they wanted to look 'super cute' for their first day of class) they both threw cardigans over their clothing making them somewhat less of a feast for the hungry freshman eyes.
Satisfied with even the slightest victory, I linked arms with the girls and the three of us headed off to main campus, each splitting off to our respective classes at the V in the road; Juli and Gigi went to some anthropology lecture, while I headed to business.
As soon as I found my lecture hall I did a quick scan of the room for any familiar Forks faces and found none. I was slightly relieved by this revelation, which meant I wouldn't get the asshole treatment that would surely come my way from any Forks people who were still under the impression I ditched Bella because I wanted other ass. The thought of her thinking that still made me sick, so many months later.
I felt the familiar twinge in my stomach that I got from feeling that emptiness... that void in my life I felt when thinking about Bella. It felt like a haste sucker-punch to the gut followed by hunger and fear and sadness – all sorts of terrible emotions bottled up in one big package that hit me like the wind.
I shook the thoughts out of my head and was soon distracted by my own real-life sucker punch, being thrown at my gut. I barely had time to react when I looked and saw the face of a familiar douchebag.
"So turns out you were smart enough for Brown, eh Emmett?" I joked. What the fuck was he doing here in my first year business course at Brown?
"I'm enrolled for the year bitches," Emmett boomed, earning a bunch of irate glares from the group of keeners who were quietly seated, laptops open, pens in hand and ready for some early morning learning.
I rolled my eyes at their reaction. Seriously kids, take it easy.
"Well it's great to see you," I replied earnestly, "What happened to Harvard or wherever you were headed?" I asked.
"Fuck Harvard," Emmett bellowed again; this time he was interrupted by the professor clearing his throat loudly, which was clearly directed at us.
"Tell me 'bout it later bro," I said, lowering my voice noticeably and patting him on the shoulder, "for now, let's take a seat before this group of nerds gang up and kick both our asses."
We grabbed two seats at the back of the classroom and about twenty-five minutes into lecture I had to kick Emmett's leg to wake him up from his slumber; his snoring had become obtrusive and actually made it impossible to hear Prof Dompfelmeyer's lecture on Business Ethics.
In my personal, highly regarded opinion, fuck business ethics, but judging by the group of eager beavers sitting in the front row pushing their glasses up the bridge of their nose, not everyone felt the same way as Emmett and I.
"Mister Cullen, I suggest you and your steroid-jacked football playing buddy take your nap outside, or otherwise shut up and pay attention," Prof Dompfelmeyer said loudly, and fuck it, he knew my name already.
Deciding this lecture was useless anyway, Emmett and I deked out the back of the room, causing more commotion than if we had actually stayed for the lecture.
Once outside, Emmett continued his bellowing. "As I was saying," he began, clearing his throat intentionally as if to make a point, "Harvard. Sucks. Ass," he articulated the words perfectly for effect.
I laughed and motioned for him to continue, for this would be good to hear.
"Fuck the pretentious faculty there, fuck the pretentious rules, fuck the team colors, and most of all," he said, his voice growing louder with intensity as he established his argument, "Most of all, fuck the chicks there."
"Really?" I said incredulously. "I'd have thought Harvard chicks were hot? You know, good breeding, wealthy families and the like. The American tradition. Wholesome chicks, like Natalie Portman. Definitely no Jessica Stanleys hanging around that neck of the woods."
The discussion of women was one topic Emmett loved with a passion, could never get enough of and took very seriously so I was in for a fully detailed account of how chicks at Harvard paled in comparison to Brown chicks.
"First of all, they're not like that at all. Fuck, you'd think Natalie Portmans would be running around, all scholarly with tight white blouses buttoned down a little too much, sinfully short skirts, and tortoise shell reading glasses, but no, not at all," he said, genuinely shocked with his findings.
"Really eh? No sexy schoolgirls running around in short skirts?" I replied, full of sarcasm because hell, who the fuck would expect that of Harvard chicks but Emmett.
"No man. No way. I know you think this is a big joke but seriously..... so far at Brown I've seen all eights, or plus even. Fucking eight-point-somethings and shit. Harvard was all fives and below. It was downright disgraceful. I should contact the Dean regarding the lack of good looking women and how it cost them the best wide receiver in all of America."
"Not to mention a senator's son," I added.
"Not to mention is right. Damnit I need to send them a letter ASAP. Tell them to shove it where it counts."
"Emmett man, you raise some valid points," I began, taking a seat outside the campus coffee shop. "But you forgot the most important detail of all. You're dating the fucking hottest chick there is in our beautiful chick-filled country of America."
Emmett frowned slightly and took a seat beside me. "That very well may be Cullen, but a guy can look can't he? And what the fuck is the point of going to fuckin Harvard if there aren't any chicks to check out while I'm in class?"
I nodded in agreement, not really caring about the calibre of women here, or at Harvard, or anywhere for that matter. All I could think of was Bella.
"Anyway, you and those fucking hot and hilarious twins are here, and damnit man, the way they roll their R's when they speak, I can't even begin to imagine what else they use those talented tongues for..."
I shook my head, not really wanting to hear about what he was alluding to, and hoping he'd drop the subject.
"You know, since they're lesbians and all-"
"Yes, I get it Emmett," I interrupted. Those girls were like sisters to me, or cousins at the very least, but mostly sisters, and man I didn't want to hear about that shit. "Yes they're very attractive girls but damnit McCarty, I've been living with them for months and months and I don't want to hear about that kinda shit. They're my pals, alright?"
Emmett was taken aback by my spiel but he agreed nonetheless. "Sorry dude. That was uncool of me."
Thing about Emmett was he was fucking blunt, and took things straight-up when you said them bluntly. He wasn't one for subtle hints, so if I ever had a problem with it I had to say it outright, and he'd back right off. He was cool like that.
"So what's Rose doing?"
"Rose is taking something or other to pass the time, but you know she doesn't really want to do anything with it. She's into modelling and is just taking courses to breeze by and get a degree because Esme's been driving her nuts over it. And in case you're wondering," he lowered his voice, looking around as if to see if anyone were listening; "Bella pretty well cut off Rose too. Rose and I were just trying to help and when that didn't do shit, I backed off, but Rose kept trying until that also proved to be fucking pointless as shit. So it's best you guys never speak again because she's messed up as is."
I shrugged off what he said nonchalantly and stored it away for more in-depth contemplation when I was on my own and could think about what the implications of this might be.
"But yeah, Rose, you know she's bright as fuck but she doesn't care to do anything academic so why push her, right? She's a great girl, gonna make a great wife, and if she wants to be a trophy wife I'm more than fine with that. She doesn't have to prove to me that she's smart; I know she's smart by how witty she is and how she talks about things, you know?"
I nodded in agreement. Hearing Emmett talk about Rosalie so affectionately made me realize what I had given up in Bella. If only I could talk about someone I wanted to spend my life with and be with forever... it was sappy as shit but it was the only thing I could think of when I thought of Bella – our future together that was meant to be and that I was missing out on.
"Plus, what's nice about Brown," Emmett had been talking the whole time and I'd actually tuned him out thinking about Bella. "Is that you can pick your courses and don't really gotta commit to a program, you know?"
"Uh.. yah," I replied absentmindedly, "Yeah, that's true eh? It's pretty bomb."
"So I'm thinking I'll do football while I'm here and see how that goes, and do economics or poli sci or some shit and go to law school after... maybe follow in my dad's footsteps if I'm ambitious enough, and if not, he'll get me a cushy job as a partner in a law firm somewhere," he concluded, quite content with his life plan.
"She could look into RISD programs, do something useful such as interior design or cooking to learn how to be a good little housewife," I joked, and Emmett laughed heartily in response. He knew I wouldn't actually take a serious jab at his girlfriend's potential, or that would result in me getting my ass kicked by the Brown football team and himself.
"She's enrolled in cognitive psych right now, but we'll see how that goes," he said, his mind seemingly consumed with the love of his life. "Rose is... Rose." He shook his head in amazement. He was right. Nothing quite summed up the wonder that was the self-assured Rosalie Hale.
"Rose is doing just fine and you will too man," I said reassuringly. "I'm happy to have you here at Brown. Now we're all together, the five of us." The only thing missing was Bella.
--
After a particularly wallowy day I managed to get my ass into second gear, go for a jog with Emmett (who led us to the side of campus where the cheerleader try-outs were being held, no less) and start getting my pep squad of party planners on the go.
I picked up my phone and dialled Alice's number, hoping she'd be around because nobody was capable of hosting a party quite like her.
She picked up on the second ring, and sounded overly excited about something. "Hello Edward!" she exclaimed loudly, "How are you this fine afternoon?" She spoke so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ears to prevent deafness by screeching pixie voice.
"Fine, fine," I replied monotonously, "Hey listen, I'm hosting the shitshow of the century, first annual Brown 'anyone who's anyone' gathering to celebrate being wealthy and elite, and I was wondering-"
"Of course I'll come, Edward! You know I'm always up for a party, and you know what? Hell, let me plan the whole thing!" She made some awkward squealing noise; "It'll be way better if you just let me do everything, ok? I'll start right now."
Bingo.
"Aw, really?" I tried to act surprised but obviously wasn't in the least. "You're the greatest, cuz. Now there's a hundred and fifty people showing, so make it good. I'll give you my AmEx and you can go from there."
After going over a few other details with Alice I was in dire need of getting my mind off shit. I was tempted to resort to the old habit of blow, but ever since that nearly fatal overdose I promised Bella I would never, in my entire life, do anything like that again. The terms still stood, and although I'll never see her again, I would never break a promise with Bella.
The idea of just "happening" to visit Harvard for some random trip or another and then "bumping" into her occurred once or twice, though I'll admit even I thought that was taking things a bit too far. Besides, she was in a rough place, and no matter how badly I wanted to see her, no matter how much I needed to see for myself that small shred of my Bella that was left in her, I couldn't do that to her. She didn't need to see me. She needed to move on with her life, date other guys who hopefully wouldn't have a crazy mob after them, hoping to serve their head on a platter to her. I felt that familiar and unfriendly twinge in my stomach and lied to myself by deciding a smoke would ease the feeling... or perhaps a Valium.
I kept trying to deny the fact that I was still one hundred percent in love with Bella, which just made my inner anguish so much more painful than it needed to be. Every fucking thing reminded me of her, not to mention these apparitions or whatever the fuck I was having. I'd be in a crowded place, such as the campus cafeteria, and swear to god I see Bella in my periphery. I look, and she's gone.
Don't get me wrong; I know how this fucking looks. I'm clearly a nutcase. I'm undoubtedly losing my mind, and every single shred of sanity I had left.
I tried to convince myself I was a perfectly sane individual but it kept happening and happening and I just couldn't reason my way out of this. It tempted me to go to Harvard to satisfy my curiosity once and for all; I would look her up, see that she was in Boston the whole time, and then lock myself in the nearest psych ward.
--
Friday
I spent the last two days hanging out at every campus bar and drinking away my sorrows while trying to still get to my classes.
Fuck class.
I knew all the shit we were talking about anyway. I ditched all my first year classes and signed up for advanced second and third year classes hoping I'd learn a thing or two but I knew most of that shit too.
I decided since I was going to get epically wasted tonight it was a good idea to lay off the sauce and opt out of my mid-afternoon scotch with the frat brothers and settle for a jog with the twins instead. They took up running in order to keep toned or whatever the hell they said it was for, but believe me, two girls couldn't get any more toned. Rose was supposed to come along for the jog so I sent her a quick text hoping she'd get her shit together and we could do this already.
I suggested we bring the poodle, Bob (and hopefully 'lose him' along the way) but the girls didn't think he'd be capable of running and I had to agree with that. He was a lazy fucker who just pissed on my leather couches all day and lounged around like he didn't have a care in the world.
Before I could get my jog on, my phone beeped impatiently on my dresser and I went over to see what the fuck was going on now.
A text from Alice; no surprise there. That girl had little to no patience and she'd labelled the subject as "urgent!" so I couldn't very well ignore it, especially since she was doing all the planning and shit for my party – not that she'd have it any other way.
I opened the message and it simply read: "And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but the truth in a masquerade" – Alexander Pope.
"You have my attention..." I texted back, wondering where she was going with this.
"I'll be over in five," she replied.
I looked out my bedroom window, overlooking a huge front yard and part of main campus and noticed a shit load of utility vans parked on our lawn.
"What the-" I jogged down two flights of stairs to the main floor and saw absolute chaos; caterers, decorators, and what looked like movers – bringing shit in and taking stuff out – filled the entire first floor.
"Hey- hey buddy!" I hollered out to the very flamboyant looking balding man wearing a pink sweater and white leisure pants, who looked to be in charge of this circus act.
"Hello sir, how may I be of your assistance?" he replied cheerfully, dramatically taking a bow and reaching out his hand for me to shake.
I just looked at it and dismissed the gesture, and he frowned. "You must be the booze boy we ordered up, to load up the fridges with Cristal," he said, grabbing one of three BlackBerry's he had strapped to his belt and began typing away on it. "Very well, chop chop," he snapped, "we don't have all day."
"Right, well I don't know about you, but I own the place," I replied dryly, and just as I was about to tell them all they had the wrong address, Alice fluttered into the room, gracefully introducing herself to all the employees in sight.
"Alice Brandon, it is so very nice of you all to come on such short notice. Now, we are doing a masquerade theme, a la Romeo and Juliet –"
"Alice, what the?" I motioned for her to come in the kitchen and she followed behind, looking a little disheartened.
"What's wrong Edward? I thought you'd like a masquerade theme?" she said, looking innocent as all get out which meant there was definitely something going on.
"What's with the circus act? I thought the shit show of the century was just going to be drinks and debauchery, not a fuckin royal gala!"
"Oh Edward, stop interfering. Just nevermind. I've taken the necessary steps to ensure your party is absolutely unforgettable. Believe me, dear cousin, it will be grand," she said, gesturing into the abyss.
I frowned. "Well alright then, but good luck getting the frat boys into wearing a mask. And me too, for that matter."
"Already been taken care of," she replied confidently. "I've arranged a mask for you, and believe it or not, Rosalie already took the frat boys mask shopping with a little gentle persuasion," she boasted, ruffling around in her purse for something. "Ah hah! Here we are," she handed me a gold Phantom of the Opera mask, and I looked at her hesitantly.
"Alice, really?"
"Oh come on, suck it up! Just wear it with a suit and you'll look like a million bucks. Really. It'll be worth it to see..." she suddenly got flushed and I knew she was up to something.
"See.....??" I persisted, not wanting to put up with any bullshit from Alice today.
"....All those hot chicks in slinky dresses and glittery masks" she asserted. "Now knock it off, you're ruining my party planning committee. You're bringing down their morale. Go on, get!" she shooed me out of the house, practically pushing me out the door. "Go bother someone else in your spare time. Come back by eight o'clock promptly. Don't be late! The host can't be late for his own party!" she hollered out the door behind me, then slammed it shut.
--
The twins were in my room helping me with the finishing touches of my outfit for the masquerade of the century I was allegedly hosting.
I wore that random mask Alice insisted on me wearing, a black tuxedo, and an expensive evening cape that I owned for some godforsaken reason.
The girls giggled as they did a once-over of my outfit, then began bickering in French.
"Is it good ladies?" I asked, not really giving a damn, and just wanting a drink already.
"Oui, oui, vraiment very good," Gigi purred, then made this "meow" sound since she was supposed to be a cat, apparently. She sure fooled me. She was wearing some slinky black dress, stilettos, and a small fluffy black mask so I suppose she somewhat resembled a cat, but that's certainly not what first came to mind upon looking at her.
Juli wore an elaborate looking bright pink dress with ruffles that reached the hem, right above her knees, and a matching pink mask. She was supposed to be a butterfly. Right.
I sauntered over to my closet and grabbed the bottle of Cristal I had hidden up in my stash and cracked it open, then poured us each a glass in a champagne flute.
Juli and Gigi took a sip and then linked their arms in mine, and we headed down into the party.
"Thanks so much to Leon for his awesomeness in every aspect of this
story. Go and read his other work in the meantime, it's all wicked
stuff.
So sorry about the prolonged update period this time.. I am really,
really sorry. Was bogged down with work and so much other crap and I
just wasn't feeling the writing so I had to wait until inspiration
found me once again. Thanks to everyone for sticking with us this far
-- you guys are what made FA such an enjoyable story.
Next update will be sooner than this. It's Leon's turn so you know you
have something really amazing to look forward to!
Love, Grey. xox"