A/N:
OK. Uni time is here so with all the crazy there may not be updates for a while. Chapter 45 & 46 are being worked in at the minute so we do have chapters in reserve but internet access may be an issue. We'll have to see.
Also, warnings for this chapter... There is a fair bit of reference to sex and some naughty words, but there is no sexual content (they are waaay underage) as this isn't an explicit type story. Mostly I warn for the crack humour. Lots and lots of it. And idiots. As the chapter title suggests...
And sorry for the annoying A/Ns. We try to only do them when we actually have something vaguely important to say but they are becoming more and more frequent!
Please read and review and all that shebag!
36. The crazy tales of two idiots alone
After the ship had left, and Rina had polished off as many cookies as she possibly eat without throwing them back up, Flo insisted that they go back up to the house as there was a horror film she wanted to watch in her aunts DVD collection. Rina had been a little resistant – she enjoyed playing on the beach – but, since Flo had promised her that they could spend all day there the next day, she was content enough and agreed without too much complaining. Upon reaching the house, they found that Marigold had gone to watch the muscle power champions in one of the dock holds. She stated, in a short note, that she wouldn't be back until late, much to Flo's joy: it meant she could watch the film in peace and hope that Rina would become immersed in her manga and ignore the hacking off limbs in the background. Purugly glared at the pair as they entered the kitchen for disturbing its nap; it growled and stalked off into the living room for a more peaceful spot.
"I would say let your Pokémon out and eat but I don't want anything broken," Flo told Rina, expecting her to get the hint to feed her Pokémon outside.
"Huh." Thought wrinkles appeared in Rina's brow.
"You and your Pokémon are menaces and break everything." Flo glared.
"No we don't!" Rina whined angrily. "You exaggerate everything. I'll show you just how good they can be!"
Rina tossed the balls from her belt quicker than Flo could grab her hands. Wally appeared on the marble kitchen counter, being its flatulent self. Flo swore that thing farted every time it was released from its Pokéball: it was probably scared that it would actually have to do something useful. Wonky landed on the edge of the kitchen table, and fell with a crash to the cold tiled floor in seconds, while Magikarp bounced onto one of the old kitchen cupboards, which was surrounded by china plates and teapots.
"Ahhh! No! Bad fishy!" Flo screamed as its bouncing rattled and wobbled the china.
She leapt over to the cupboard in a flash and pulled the Magikarp into her arms. It was disgustingly slimy and smelly but it was better than what her aunt would do to her upon finding a single broken plate.
"See nothing happened!" Rina said smugly.
With one swift movement Flo swung Magikarp by the tail and aimed for Rina. The smelly wet fish hit her square in the face, making Rina topple over onto the floor, looking like a wide eyed Jigglypuff, before bursting into tears.
What do you know? Flo thought. This thing this thing is useful!
"You-just-slapped-me!" Rina wailed. "With-a-Magikarp!"
"Well done. You can recognise a fish slap when you see one." Flo rolled her eyes and went to go outside to put the Magikarp in the pond. It was now glaring menacingly at her, probably wishing for her death Flo thought. But at least, in the pond, it would clean off and hopefully lose the bad smell. Rina was horribly negligent!
"You're mean." Rina huffed. "I'm gonna tell Kaida." And with that she stormed out of the room.
"Kaida isn't going to be happy," Flo sang, summoning the Slowpoke to follow her. She knew that Kaida would probably be having a close relationship with the toilet and wouldn't want to be disturbed.
After feeding all the Pokémon outside, without a peep or sight of Rina, Flo headed back in with the Pokémon so she could get ready for her horror film. She found Rina's bag on the kitchen table, exactly where she left it, and recalled Rina's three Pokémon. She didn't want any smashes or disasters tonight: especially not in her aunt's house. As she was recalling her own Pokémon, Rina shuffled into the kitchen looking depressed.
"What's wrong with you" Flo asked, recalling a very excitable Wooper from the sink and turning her attention to Weepinbell as it nudged her leg, trying to get attention.
"I'm sorry," Rina recited in her childlike voice, "for whatever made you slap me with Magikarp and I am sorry for being a moron."
"I take it you phoned Kaida," Flo smirked, bemused by Rina's rehearsed speech which Kaida must have yelled at her to say. Rina nodded.
"You know, she wasn't too happy to hear from me, isn't that strange?" Rina pondered, genuinely confused as to why Kaida wouldn't want to hear her whining. "She told be to tell you one thing though, which makes no sense to me."
"What's that then?"
Everything confused Rina so Flo was interested to hear what would come out her mouth this time. Rina read the small note she had made on her hand slowly.
"She said: good job but next time do it harder."
Flo laughed, almost letting Togepi fall from her grip. Trust Kaida to give her tips on trying to kill people.
"What job is she on about?" Rina prodded Flo, who just continued laughing.
"Don't worry, Rina, don't worry your little purple head about it." Flo reached up and patted the confused girl's head. Rina really needed some socialising lessons, Flo thought. Not, of course, that she was offering. She shuddered at the thought of that and forced it from her mind. "Now, let's go watch a movie," Flo shouted joyfully, ignoring Rina's remaining expression of bewilderment.
A while later, after getting snacks and drinks from Marigold's overly packed fridge, Flo had settled down on the sofa to watch a highly rated horror film that she had found in her aunts collection. Rina had become bored of the film as soon as the opening had started, and so was hunched up with a cushion reading the end few pages of her manga. Flo shoved another handful of crisps into her mouth just as the girl on the tv screamed in pain, Flo was scared of many things but watching them on TV was a different story. A small scream from next to her distracted Flo from grabbing another handful of salted goodness.
"What is that man doing to that poor girl?" Rina squeaked, peeking out from behind the cushion that she had shoved in front of her face as soon as she had dared to look at the screen.
"He's trying to kill her," Flo answered simply, hoping that she wouldn't have to explain murder to Rina.
"But, why?" Rina asked, ducking behind the cushion again as the man swung the axe around wildly.
"Because of a reason we will probably find out later," Flo said through gritted teeth. She wanted to watch the movie in peace, not play twenty questions!
"But–" Rina started, but was sharply cut off by Flo.
"Would you shut the hell up?!" Flo roared.
It was the perfect imitation of Kaida that she had been working on: it needed a bit more practice, but she found the message seemed to sink through to Rina, who nodded and turned her eyes back to the TV screen. Flo sank back into her comfy spot, satisfied by a job well done. She watched happily as the Killer popped up out nowhere, making her jump. However, Rina took this surprise much worse. She screamed her head off and threw the cushion up to cover her face, but it had slipped from her grasp and gone hurtling back into a glass cabinet. Flo could only watch with horror as one of the china figures wobbled and, in slow motion, fell from its place and crashed to the floor.
"Nooooo!" Flo screamed, perfectly in sync with the girl who was about to be murdered on the TV. Flo's situation, however, had to be a worse horror than any film made. She flung herself over the sofa to inspect the damage; it wasn't a pleasant sight. Rina had hit a Ponyta figurine and had managed to knock off its head, its tail, and three legs.
"Damn it!" Flo screamed, realising that she could only see two of the three missing legs. "Rina!"
"Hi?" Rina plodded over, worried that Flo would fish slap her again.
"Find the other leg while I go find some glue. With any luck she will never know…" Flo dashed off towards the kitchen to start rummaging through drawers.
"Isn't that dishonest?" Rina pondered aloud.
"Hey!" Flo swung her head round the door. "You can lecture me about being dishonest when you stop stealing people's stuff!"
"It's not stealing! It's borrowing!" Rina huffed defensively.
"Whatever, house breaker!" Flo yelled back from her place in the kitchen. "Yes! Superglue, my white sticky angel!" Flo announced happily, shoving the drawer back in and darting back to the broken pieces on the floor. Ten minutes later, and after much debate over which piece went where, the Ponyta was back in one piece, apart from the missing leg.
"We have to find it!" Flo hissed, crawling around on her hands and knees desperately. There was a sudden purr from behind her as Purugly entered the room, looking extremely pleased with itself.
"You better not have eaten that leg!" Flo growled.
The cat Pokémon simply purred again as the scraping sound of keys in the door echoed throughout the house.
"Walloping Woopers!" Flo eyed the handicapped figurine, the horror movie, which was still going on in the background, and the bags of crisps and sweets littering the table. Quick as a flash, Flo placed the ponyta back in its right place, switched over to a documentary channel and stuffed the offending food behind her pillows in the sofa. Marigold entered looking quite merry. Flo reckoned that she must have had a fair bit to drink as she hadn't noticed anything was wrong yet.
"Hello, girlsss!" The merry woman hissed. Her accent still made her sound scary, despite her rather slapstick drunken face. Then, suddenly, her happy face changed into an untrusting glare. "Something in here isn't right!"
Flo gulped, praying her aunt was too drunk to notice the badly glued Ponyta.
"But now I must sleep. I'll find out what's different in morning!" With one last swooping gaze of the room, she stumbled out through the door, almost tripping over the edge of the carpet. She managed to stay up right by grabbing onto the doorframe and swaying for a few seconds. She really had had a lot to drink.
"Well, that went well," Rina chirped happily, pulling her supply of cookies from behind one of the sofa cushions.
"I think tomorrow I will die," Flo said, rocking backwards and forwards in her seat.
It was approximately seven hours left until judgement day.
-
At exactly seven o'clock that morning, Rina was awoken by a ground-shaking war cry that echoed from the living room. Flo was already awake and dressed, spinning in the computer chair with a fearful expression upon her face.
"Huh what happened?" Rina asked sleepily, asking the wall more then Flo.
"She found it. She found what you did!" Flo replied, her voice monotone. Bringing her legs up to her chest, she rested her forehead on her knees and prepared for the second wave of war screams which, as predicted, came swiftly and violently after the first.
"What did I do again?" Rina yawned and tried to pull herself up from the bed, but failed stupendously by slipping backwards and slamming her head into the wall.
"Well, that was clever." Rina heard Flo mumble.
"How do you know?" Rina asked, confused, as she rubbed the new bump on her head. Did Flo have some sort of ESP? She had read about it in her latest manga. "You weren't even looking."
"I know because you are an idiot. Plus, your head is hollow so it makes a hollow echo when you hit it."
Rina's eyes grew wide. "Really!?!" she asked excitedly.
Flo groaned as Rina started the hit her head with her hands. She then used the wall to find out if Flo was right.
"There really is no help for you, is there?" Flo sighed watching the idiot with purple hair continue to bash her head around. It was said that every time you bang your head you lost a brain cell – perhaps more. If that was true, Flo thought, then Rina must have very little or none left at all, which wouldn't be a surprise to anyone.
"Florence!" The booming voice was of the one and only Marigold.
"OK, I'm off to die."
Flo groaned at Rina, who stopped hitting her head for a few seconds to offer the comforting words of, "Have a nice time!" in her little cheery voice and, for an after thought, "I wonder if it will be sunny there."
Fifteen minutes of shouting later, Flo had been screamed at by Marigold that she and Rina would have to pay for the damage they had inflicted upon the Ponyta. It was a lot of money. This was money that Flo didn't have and only Rina's credit card possessed. Flo explained this problem to Rina on the wall outside her aunts house, after they had been driven out of the house by glares and demands of, "Where's my money girl?!"
"So we owe her one hundred Poképounds, or fifty each," Flo concluded. "Now we need a plan on how to earn that money."
Rina tilted her head, confused. "You earn money? Why don't you just use your credit card or ask your parents?"
"Well," Flo glared angrily at Rina, who was truly proving how spoilt and sheltered she actually was. "For one, my parents aren't rich and two, I don't have a credit card because I don't want you to steal it and get me in ten grand of debt buying a stupid, useless fish!" Flo let out a snarl of rage, causing Rina to stumble backwards over the low garden wall and into a bed of pansies. This only caused Flo satisfaction for so long: she had more pressing matters to attend to.
"You know." Rina appeared leaning over the wall with dirt and bits of flower in her hair. "I've heard of a way that people earn money and I think anyone can do it. I heard my parents talking about it"
"Really? What do you have to do?" Flo asked interestedly. If anyone could do it then it must be easy.
"You have to go stand on a street corner." Rina tapped her head as if trying to get her brain to work. Clearly she did not succeed.
"And…" Flo pressed, trying to coax a bit more information out of Rina's brain. It was like trying to milk a Tauros: completely impossible and definitely dangerous.
"I think that's it."
Flo was now very confused. How could anyone get paid for standing on a street corner?!
"OOOH!" Rina yelled loudly as she remembered another scrap of information. "And you have to dress up in stylish clothes. Well, I think Mum said stylish. I know it began with an 's'." Rina thumped her head again to get more thoughts to pop out.
"You know that rings a Chingling," Flo said, trying to cast her mind back to when she had last heard of these people that dressed up to go out on the street. "I think my mum said it was bad."
"How could it be bad?" Rina tilted her head in her normal confused way.
"I dunno." Flo shrugged. "But it's the best plan we have! To the clothes store!"
Flo grabbed Rina's arm and yanked her from the wall, making her stumble to find her footing as she chased after Flo, who was excited at the prospect of new clothes.
Upon reaching the town at the bottom of the hill, Flo pushed Rina into one of her favourite shops, which to be honest would have made both Kaida and Nila cry at the sight of the clothes that were being sold. The mannequins in the window were either covered from head to toe in neon, animal print, or wearing hardly anything at all. It was Flo's favourite shop to go to when visiting her aunt. She had many dear memories of sitting at the window as a little girl, staring in at all the bright colours, dreaming that one day she could wear them and look as good as the mannequins did. She froze as she entered the store. It was all she had ever dreamed of: rails upon rails of brightly coloured perfection, leggings in every colour, leggings with zips, leggings with studs, leggings that looked wet! There were even jeggings, a mix of jeans and leggings. So many choices! Her perfect moment was ruined, however, by a loud popping sound behind her. Slowly turning, she saw Rina using her tongue to scoop her popped green bubble gum back into her mouth. She then started chewing like a ravenous Miltank. Flo glared, wishing the fire of a thousand Charizard to come flaming down on Rina.
"Gum?" Rina asked, ignoring the bulging eyes of the girl in the plum-coloured hoodie.
"Die," Flo snarled.
"Huh, what you say?" Rina had gone into her daydream land in a few seconds of offering the would-be apple-flavoured treat.
"Never mind," Flo grumbled, eyeing Rina's sticky fingers. Flo decided to do what was best for everyone. "You go sit by the changing rooms while I pick out outfits for us, OK?" Flo jabbed her finger violently in the direction of the changing rooms as Rina opened her mouth to argue. However, Rina, in the end, decided not to push Flo and her deadly finger and shuffled off towards the changing rooms, muttering that no one trusted her.
Finally Flo had peace to gaze at the wonderful fabric creations.
After hours of choosing her absolute favourite outfit, Flo had finally started on picking Rina's, while Rina had fallen asleep, sitting up in the changing room chair.
"Too long," Flo muttered, shoving the hanging tops along at great speed. "Oh, that's gorgeous," she whispered, pulling out a pair of metallic blue wet-look leggings overlaid by a pair of fluorescent yellow lacy leggings. "No Flo," she scolded, slapping her own hand. "You can not own everything in this shop, although some day we will… Must be patient, must have control…" Her muttering caused a few raised eyebrows from other shoppers and staff members, who now didn't dare go to ask her if she needed assistance. A few more rails of clothes later and Flo had thrown together an outfit for Rina. Whether she would appreciate it was another matter. Rina was asleep in one of the chairs in the changing room's waiting area when Flo threw Rina's new little pile of clothes at her, making her jolt awake screaming something about the whereabouts of cheese.
"Try that on," Flo said, grinning.
She carried her own pile into a spare changing room. Rina followed sleepily: shopping was very tiring.
Ten minutes of pulling on clothes and accessorising, as well as helping Rina dress properly, the girls stood happily in their outfits. Well, Flo was happy at least. She stood proudly in her dazzling outfit. She had donned a long white t-shirt layered with a black cropped leather jacket. On her legs were fluorescent green leggings that led on to white and pink leopard print leg warmers and, to complete the ensemble, she wore luminous pink platform sandals. Flo twirled around, happily admiring herself in the mirror.
"Damn, I look good!" She grabbed her discarded arm warmers and pulled them on. The pink, only a few shades lighter, would match with her shoes and the pink chain necklace she was also wearing. Rina stomped out a moment later looking grumpy.
"It's too tight!" She huffed, pulling at the many belts around her waist. Flo had dressed her in a black tunic dress that poofed out at the waist, which Flo had accessorised with lots of little brightly coloured belts. On her legs she had black and pink leopard print leggings that matched Flo's own leg warmers and on her feet high heeled roman sandals.
"But you look so good," Flo cooed, shoving Rina at the mirror to take a look herself.
But Rina's eyes were attracted to something else.
"Shiny!" she squealed, dashing off to grab whatever it was that took her fancy.
"No helping some people," Flo scoffed, grabbing a plum baker boy hat off a nearby stand and admiring this with the rest of her outfit.
"I have to have this," came a childlike voice from behind her.
Rina stood there, clutching a blue zebra print bag made of sequins so it sparkled in the light.
"Well that's not a complete fashion disaster," Flo smiled. "You are learning, my young apprentice."
"What's an apprentice?" Rina asked her head, performing her customary head tilt.
"Never mind." Flo sighed. "Let's get out of these clothes and pay."
Upon reaching the counter, Rina promised to pay on her parents credit card as Flo had little money. This would change when their plan went ahead successfully of course. The clothes added up to a nice round number that made Flo's eyes pop but Rina merely handed over the credit card, unfazed, dreaming about her new shiny bag.
"I'm sorry, Miss, but your card has been denied," the cashier said, causing Flo's eyes to bulge even more.
"Hum, must be some mistake," Rina pondered aloud. "Oh, well, I'll call Mum and Dad in a minute. I think I have enough money in here to pay for that." If Flo's eyes could have become any wider then they would have been the size of saucepans as Rina pulled out a bulging purse from her backpack. Flo had never seen so much change in her life, each coin as shiny as the next.
"Ooh, a note." Rina plucked the note, which had been folded into a tiny square, out of its corner and unfolded it.
"Fifty!" Flo screamed. "I've never seen that kind of money in my life"
"I don't like notes. They aren't shiny." Rina placed the note on the desk for the cashier and turned back to grin at Flo, who was doing an amazing expression of a gormless Feebas. "Isn't shopping fun?! Now lets go get some ice cream!" Taking her change from the cashier, and thrusting the bags at Flo, she grabbed Flo's paralysed arm and dragged her from the shop, happily humming as she did so.
Rina left Flo on a bench, overlooking the sea, as she went to buy them ice cream. Flo was still in shock about the amount of money in Rina's purse. She had a few bones to pick with her.
"I rang my parents." Rina pouted as she handed Flo her cherry ice cream cone. "They cancelled my credit card!"
Flo snorted, causing bits of ice cream to flick everywhere.
"Did they say why?" she asked.
"Just that I wasn't being responsible enough… Like buying a Magikarp! But he's worth every penny, they are rare!"
At that precise moment a few Magikarp in the harbour took the opportunity to leap in the air, though Rina didn't seem to register this. It did, however, cause Flo to burst into a fit of giggles, which she tried to hide behind her ice cream.
Rina continued, "They just don't understand!"
"Of course not." Flo smirked, licking her ice cream. She had to admit, having Rina around was quite amusing.
While they were enjoying their ice creams, the girls decided to let out their Pokémon for some exercise, since they had been stuck in their pokeballs since the previous evening. Rina, fortunately, left Magikarp in his Pokéball but, still, the two idiotic Slowpoke were bad enough, plodding around the bench hoping that one of the girls would drop some food. While Flo tried to avoid their hungry, expectant faces, her Hoppip was on a mission of its own. After being released from its Pokéball, it had caught a glimpse of something pink and multicoloured; it was time for super Hoppip to shine!
Bobbing stealthily away from the two girls, out of sight of its nemesis, Hoppip floated over the maniacal Jigglypuff, letting a fine dusty Sleep Powder fall onto it. Jigglypuff looked up, alarmed, with its eyes starting to droop. Super Hoppip had prevailed again above evil! Then, abruptly, a large gust of wind caught Hoppip off guard and it started to tumble through the air, unable to stop itself. Jigglypuff let loose an evil chuckle before drifting off to sleep. What a stupid Pokémon, Jigglypuff thought, to be swept away by the wind. Jigglypuff was far too powerful for that, too heavy for that, and, wait… Did that mean Jigglypuff was fat…?
Hoppip felt itself getting dizzier by the moment, helplessly spiralling, until it span into warm arms.
"Useless Pokémon," Flo muttered.
-
After Hoppip's adventure, the girls decided to change into their outfits and find the perfect corner to stand on. As they walked down the street, their heels clacking against the stone, they received some concerned looks from passers-by, although Flo didn't understand why. Surely if this standing on street corners was so easy, she expected that they should be used to people doing it. They finally decided on the corner by the sweet shop so that, if it was hard work, they could always grab a few snacks, although Flo imagined it would just be boring: Rina had packed her new bag full of manga. They stood on their corner for over an hour, with Flo smiling and waving at people on the street or in their cars, hoping they would give her the money that Rina had promised they would get for doing this. Finally a car pulled up, lowered its window, and a middle aged man popped his head out, looking at the girls with some confusion.
"Children, what are you doing?" he asked.
Rina was oblivious to him and continued to read her manga, but Flo informed him happily.
"We are standing on a street corner to get money."
"Excuse me!" The man exclaimed, twitching his moustache. "But you only look about twelve!"
A small crowd had gathered behind him to watch the proceedings. One woman was heard to mutter, "That's disgusting!"
"I'm eleven!" Rina said cheerfully, not looking away from her manga.
"Eleven! Well, I say!"
The man's moustache twitched again. Flo found herself oddly fascinated: it was strangely fetching.
"Go home, girls, and never ever stand on a street corner again, especially when you don't know what it means." And, with one last twitch of the moustache, he drove off.
"What does standing on a street corner mean then?" Flo asked, helping Rina to her feet.
"I dunno." Rina shrugged, clueless. "Maybe it means that if you stand there then a new traffic light is gonna be placed there."
"Must be," Flo said, "but how are we going to get the money now?"
Rina shrugged. "Let's go up to the house and do some research."
"With what?"
"The internet!"
Rina gasped. "But my mama says the internet is just for porn!"
"Yeah, well, your mama is stupid." Flo stuck her tongue out and started to run up the hill with a fuming Rina behind her.
"My mum isn't stupid"
"She made you, didn't she?!" Flo retorted childishly.
Rina's eyes popped. Her fist now were shaking.
Flo put a hand on her chin and pretended to think. "Though she did cancel your credit card, so I guess that makes you the stupid one."
"Arrgh!" Rina screamed, chasing after Flo like a mad woman.
Flo thought that it was just like having a tamer version of Kaida around.
-
"What on earth are you wearing?!"
These were the first incredulous words out of John's mouth as Flo turned on the video call. When they had returned to the house, Flo had received a call for John, explaining how Grimer had decided to join them on their trip and to ask if he could have its Pokéball so he could send it back to them. He had just come back from retrieving the Pokémon when he noticed their odd looking outfits.
"They are amazing, aren't they?!" Flo squealed, getting up and twirling for him. Luckily – or unluckily – she missed John's grimace and remained blissfully ignorant.
"I'm sending him back to you now," John said, waving the Pokéball at the screen before putting it on the transport platform. A few seconds later and the Pokéball materialised down the girls' end and Flo put it safely back in her bag. Rina, at this point, was too engrossed with her manga to watch the computer screen.
"Thanks, John." Flo waved him off as he bid her goodbye and told her not cause too much trouble. Closing the video call, Flo noticed a pop up that had appeared behind it. 'Single woman.' Indeed I am, Flo thought and began to read on.
'Needs need to be fulfilled.' Well, she did need one hundred Poképounds…
'Can't find someone?' And everyone had been very unhelpful!
'We can help you here at . Register now and find that special someone!' Hmm, Flo thought. Perhaps someone on there would help her.
Flo clicked on the link excitedly as she was sent to something that, at the top of the page, appeared to be called a chat room. At the bottom a box flashed, asking for a username, her gender, and her body type. It also asked for her age but it was not necessary to put it. Flo chose cutiegirl12 as her user name and started to read all the chat rooms that she could enter, which were listed down the side.
One of the first said, 'Surf & Turf One Nighters.' But, Flo thought, she didn't want to surf to redo her driveway so that was a no. She continued onto 'Pussy lovers.' Aww, cute kitties. Flo thought about this and then remembered Purugly, who was an ominous presence downstairs. Perhaps not then. She moved to the next one.'Let's do it how they do on the discovery channel.' This alarmed Flo. Were they going to eat people?! She quickly scrolled down.'The Rainbow Room: for the experienced only.' That did sound like a cute, fun place but she wasn't sure it was right for her. The next was'69 lovers' and she found it a little bizarre that some weird people were worshipping a number. Then she struck gold.'Little helpers: always there to fulfil your needs.'Flo took one last glance at Rina before double clicking. Almost immediately a box popped up saying, "Hiya, Cutie," with a small wink smiley next to it. Flo spotted his name was Mr Handy. She had to be talking to the right guy.
"Hiya, handy," she typed, returning the wink. This was actually quite fun.
"So, babe, where you living at?"
"Olivine City at the moment, baby. Say, how old are you?"
"I am forty years young love and ready for action. How's about yourself?"
"Yah, I'm thirty-five." Flo giggled.
"Oooh, a younger woman," he replied.
Flo snickered. If only he knew... When Flo didn't reply immediately, Mr Handy typed something else.
"So you're young and in your prime. You like to party?"
Flo was quick to reply. "Definitely, I LOVE parties. I party all the time!"
Mr Handy did another wink.
"How about partying with me?"
"Sounds great. When do you want me?"
"Meet me at six in Rock Café. If you're lucky then I'll buy you dinner." He winked again.
Just as Flo was agreeing, Rina took that moment to look up and, seeing the screen, her eyes grew wide with alarm. This was not good!
"Ahhhh!" she screamed as Flo pressed the enter key.
Flo turned to see if Rina had seen a disturbing picture in her manga, but found Rina leaping at her to get to the computer.
"Delete the evil! Delete!" she howled, smashing the keyboard.
"Argh! Get off me, you freak!" Flo's voice was muffled by Rina's stomach as she clambered over Flo to get to the off button. Once pressed, Rina retreated, pleased with herself for saving Flo's soul. She returned to her manga.
"You are such a weirdo," Flo whispered, looking at Rina with confusion and annoyance. "Anyway, I'm still going tonight!" Flo huffed, folding her arms determinedly.
Rina lowered her manga so only her glaring eyes were showing. She had never looked so serious when she hissed, "He's going to eat your soul!"
Flo laughed.
-
After a few hours of reassuring Rina that Mr Handy wasn't going to eat her soul, Flo sat at the table that he had told her to sit at with Rina and her Slowpoke under the table still mumbling stuff like 'soul eater,' 'stranger danger,' and 'unnatural being.' Just as Flo was about to kick Rina, the bell above the door rang. In strolled a tall, plump man of around forty years of age. His gelled brown hair was greying and a there bald spot forming at the back. A handlebar moustache sat below his nose, looking nicely combed and gelled. He wore a tight white T-shirt and black leather trousers with shiny army boots. Flo smiled as he caught sight of her. He looked very confused.
"Heya, Mr Handy" Flo grinned happily.
The man gulped. She was definitely not thirty-five.
"How old are you really?" he asked nervously.
"Twelve," Flo replied.
The man gulped again. A bead of perspiration slid down his brow and he wrung his hands together nervously.
"Mr Handy…"
"Please, don't call me that," he whispered, distinctly embarrassed by the turn of events. "Just call me Andrew."
"OK, Andrew. I'm Flo."
Flo stuck out her hand for him to shake. He took it timidly.
"Why would you want to go to a chat room?" Andrew asked, bewildered.
"Because I needed a need fulfilled and the advert said I could find people to help me," Flo answered, still unperturbed by his age and his apparent fear of her.
"What need was this?" Andrew looked extremely reluctant to ask and his eyes were pinned firmly on a scratch on the wood of the table. "Well?"
Flo then told him of the crazy day that they had had. She spoke of the broken Ponyta and the backfired plan, which made him chuckle at their innocence.
"Well standing on street corners like that generally means you will sell yourself for sex," he informed her, smiling a little as her face looked horrified.
"Oh, my, Sweet Smoochum, why would anyone do that?!"
"Well, the money for one," Andrew said. He didn't want to delve into further details about the career choices of prostitutes so, instead, he said, "You know, I could come speak to that Aunt of yours. See if I can get you off the hook…?"
"Thank you!" Flo squealed. "But why would you do that when I lied to you?"
"Because you have made a very lonely man laugh for the first time in years. Now let's go see your aahh!"
"My Aahh?" Flo asked, confused. Her brow wrinkled. She didn't have an aahh.
"My boots," Andrew cried, jerking his foot from under the table and revealing a very slimy black boot that looked like it had a few teeth marks in.
"RINA!" Flo shrieked, causing Rina to pop out from under the table with one Slowpoke under each arm.
"You are a dirty man!" Rina glared at Andrew. The fact that he was offering to help them seemed to have flown over her.
"But, my boot!" He was flabbergasted. The boot was ruined! Then he sniffed. "Oh, my, what's that smell?!"
He covered his nose and Flo copied him. It was awful!
"Wally and Wonky don't like strangers!" Rina huffed, tightening her hold on the two Pokémon.
"Come on, let's get out of here," Flo said, grabbing Rina's elbow and pulling her out of the door before the other customers smelt the Slowpoke fart.
They weren't normally this gassy, Flo thought. What on earth had they been eating? Her mind flashed back to Marigold's questionable meat pies… That had to be it. Flo was cutting Rina's Slowpoke off. She couldn't put up with it anymore.
Rina followed behind the pair, glaring as they made the short journey up the hill to the house.
"So why were you in that chat room?" Flo asked breaking the silence.
"Well, I don't want you thinking I'm a dirty pervert, though sometimes dirty is good… Um…" He coughed, embarrassed by his sudden outburst. "I guess I was there because I'm lonely and I just want somebody to spend lonely nights with…"
"Sex maniac!" Rina yelled from behind, causing Andrew to blush a shocking shade of magenta.
Flo wasn't sure what had got into Rina. She wasn't aware that Rina even knew what sex was. She hurried to speak to Andrew, saying, "Just ignore her. She hasn't learnt how to socialise properly yet… Anyway," Flo pressed, "you were saying?"
Having a mature person to talk to was a nice change, Flo mused.
"Well, that's about it. I just want someone to spend my days with and make me happy."
"Yeah, I bet you would" Rina hissed.
"Would you shut up?! You are ruining his heart-wrenching story of a life without love!" Flo screamed.
"Which he wants to be filled with sex! The dirty pervert! I've read manga about guys like you! Mum gave them to me! She told me I had to watch out for creepy men because they only want one thing!"
That explained the sudden burst of knowledge then. It wasn't a burst of knowledge at all: Rina still had no clue what sex was, she had just been told it was bad by her Mum and some ridiculous manga. This made a lot more sense because Flo knew she hadn't told Rina about sex and none of the others would have willingly spoken to her about those things either. Rina was such an idiot!
"Life is more complicated then your damn manga!" Flo screamed back, even louder then before if this was even possible. Flo wouldn't have been surprised if then all of Olivine could hear the conversation. Well, that was a slight exaggeration, but the few streets around them definitely could. Luckily they had reached the door and Flo ushered Andrew in, all the while glaring at Rina, who chose to sit outside and look at the stars. Flo's aunt was sitting in her armchair in the living room with Purugly at her feet.
"Umm, Auntie?" Flo said, her voice sounding a bit shaky.
"What you want?" came her Aunt's gruff voice.
"This man has come to see you."
Her aunt turned in her seat and her eyes softened when they fell upon Andrew.
"Good evening, madam." Andrew nodded and smiled politely.
"Well, hello," Marigold smirked. "Flo, leave now, so we get acquainted."
Flo scurried out of the room, giving Andrew a good luck smile. She decided that she better go to check on Rina before she broke anything else, but found her lying peacefully on the hilly bank in the front garden. Flo flopped down beside her to stare at the stars herself.
"They're beautiful." Flo sighed.
"I wish I were a star," Rina whispered. "Then I would be free to fly in the sky and people wouldn't yell at me."
"We only yell because we care," Flo said, nudging Rina's arm so she would turn to see her reassuring smile. "And because sometimes it's the only way you listen to us."
"So you don't hate me?" Rina asked hopefully.
"Nah, we don't hate you. We get annoyed with you sometimes but never hate. But that happens in every family doesn't it?"
"We're a family" Rina repeated happily.
"Well, it's a better name than group of travelling freaks."
Flo smiled, stretching out on the grass, but her peace was ruined when a loud scream echoed through the house. The two girls sat up and watch as a very peculiar event happened. Andrew came running out screaming, clad in just his underwear; the rest of his clothes were gathered in his arms.
"What in Victreebel's name…?!" Flo asked, watching the man run down the hill.
"I still got it," came the satisfied voice of Marigold, who the girls saw was standing at the door way, smoking, wearing a bright pink, silk nightgown. "Ban on house stays, but debt cancelled." She blew out another smoke ring and smirked. "He was worth it." She walked back inside, humming what sounded like an army song.
"Well that was unexpected?" Flo said, rubbing her head.
"Maybe she tried to eat his soul," Rina offered, before lying back down to continue her star gazing.
"Maybe," Flo said absently. It was a beautiful night.
One of the Slowpoke farted loudly. Flo clenched her fists. She was burning those pies.
And it was a lot later that night, when Flo finally thought back to the recent events, that she realised that Rina had, all along, the money to pay back Marigold for the broken Ponyta. They had been through all of that for nothing! Flo certainly wouldn't be mentioning that lack of thinking to anyone else: Kaida would never let her hear the end of it.
Plus, Flo reasoned, it wasn't all for nothing. She did have her gorgeous new clothes.