Wow! Thanks to everyone for the reviews and support!
BrightWatcher - Thanks for the constant support and editing! It amazes me how I still miss simple errors, no matter how many times I proofread! The abruptness was intentional but I'll let you figure out why as the chapters continue! :D Thanks for the support!
katnor – I know! I was so not even trying for a cliffhanger! I expected a cliffhanger-free chapter!
Natski – Awww! Thanks for reading!
Anonymous guest –I know but give Gandalf a break! He's caught in a tough situation too!
ZabuzasGirl – Hope you like the update! Thanks for the constant support!
"I'm sorry, my dear. But I am not the salvation of your people. I can do nothing to aid the Harad. The age of Elves and wizards is ending." Mchawi locked his gaze on her face but Enzi could not meet his eyes. She looked back at the landscape, a dark cloud wafting to the left of one of the mountains, settling herself on a bench away from the wizard. For a while neither of them spoke and the only sound came from those still celebrating in the hall. When he spoke his voice was barely a whisper. "I could not give Aragorn his kingdom. I could not save Rohan from the coming assault of the Uruk-Hai. I could not save Théoden from his fate, or protect your mother …. or your father … or Boromir. I could not even save Frodo from the burden he had to bear….. and still bears." There was pain in his voice blending with regret that made her want to face him. She found the same blending in his features as she finally met his eyes. "To force my will on any people would go against the wishes of the Valar and I would be no better than the Dark Lord himself. But there is still hope." He walked towards her as he spoke now. "Elrond saw it in Rivendell. Galadriel saw it in the forests of Lothlórien. I saw it in the large curious eyes of a little girl I knew long ago."
Enzi looked down for a moment, studying the cobbled walkway before returning his gaze. "I am no healer, Mchawi….." She heard the heavy gates open and quickly composed herself, wiping her eyes and smoothing her hands down her face and gown.
When she looked back up, his eyes were piercing. "Are you so sure?" The wizard walked away after this, and Enzi met the eyes of the person who had entered the courtyard, quickly averting her eyes once she knew who it was.
He sat down slowly as she watched Mchawi disappear behind the gate. He studied her face for a while, his eyebrows knitting together in concentration. She, on the other hand, studied her hands as she twisted them in her lap, completely silent. He looked at the closed gates then back at Enzi, leaning a bit closer towards her. Still, she said nothing. He gestured to her, trying to hand her a large clay mug. She had taken to biting her lips now and shook her head in refusal. Her gaze was still far from him and he followed it to the landscape, watching it and her quietly. One of her eyes had begun to water slightly and she looked up to the sky, blinking and fighting to keep the tear in its home. His voice was unusually soft. "What did-?"
She shook her head fiercely, still biting her lips as if some secret would spill out of them. His gaze wandered to the courtyard until her sigh brought his attention back to her face. "You did not enjoy the celebration?" Her voice quivered a bit and she was now focused on the ground, feigning a smile as she spoke that couldn't quite reach her eyes.
Éomer chuckled a bit. "I am not comfortable with foreign nobility." She nodded, then shot him a glance. "Those foreign to me," he corrected. "There is only so much you can say to people who are determined to compliment you and avoid offending you. I prefer that people share honest conversations with me than prattle about saying what they think I would like to hear."
She forced another smile, this time more genuine and untwisted her hands, taking the mug he still held in his hands. She took a drink quickly. "Of course!" she said grandly. "Who would offend the great Lord of Rohan?" Her face settled into another smile and her eyes ghosted over to his before returning her attention to the mug. "You remembered?" she asked softly.
Éomer let out a laugh. "I am no fool! I have angered you once and would not dare do so again!"
A sincere laugh escaped her lips. "I am not that bad," she defended, giving him a side-glance.
"So you say, Haradress," Éomer said shaking his head. "So you say." He softened his voice again and dared to touch her arm. "I make a good listener, Enzi."
She looked into his eyes for the first time, noting their earnestness. He was studying her, locking her in his gaze, following her eyes no matter where they moved. No grand protestations or demands. Just a simple avowal. She felt her mind slipping back to that dark place and he seemed to note the change, moving his hand to her shoulder then her back. She felt small, alone and most importantly, exposed. She didn't like this feeling and shook her head, sliding from his gentle grasp. "No, Éomer. I am appreciative but I do not wish to continue dwelling on this."
He nodded understanding, moving his hand back to his lap and they settled into an uncomfortable silence. Her attention began to wane again and he spoke quickly to reclaim it, slapping his hands on his legs. "I have decided to take your advice, woman."
She turned to him, slightly confused. "What advice?"
"I will give Faramir a chance to prove himself." This solicited a small smile and an arch of her eyebrow. "I will not make it easy for him, mind you," he added quickly, " but I will give him an opportunity to prove himself."
"I am sure Éowyn will be very appreciative," Enzi said, nodding her head as she spoke. "Besides, you have much more important things to handle than one suitor. You must see to the restoration of your borders, appoint a council to assist you, solidify your alliance with Gondor-"
"What do you plan to do now that the war is over?" Éomer asked calmly, picking up his own mug from its place on the ground to drink from it.
She looked again at the landscape and shook the nagging feeling, lest she crumble into tears again. There was a significant difference between weeping on the shoulder of the Mchawi and weeping in front of Éomer. The very fact that he had asked burned her, though she knew she had no right to be angry with him. Did he not know how slim her options were? "The hobbits have mentioned the Shire to me, but I doubt I would fit into their homes. Legolas has offered to show Gimli and I Mirkwood, his father's land. And with Mchawi leaving soon….. I have thought of asking Aragorn for permission to stay a while longer. Perhaps in Osgiliath to assist with the rebuilding."
"You would be contented here?" he asked thoughtfully, giving her a side glance.
"No," she said honestly, looking at Éomer, "but I would be close …..."
"You will always have a place in Rohan," he said simply again to which she shook her head.
"No, Éomer. You and Éowyn have done much too much already. I will find my own way."
"A perfect punishment for betraying your people…" he said quietly, echoing her thoughts. "Everyone else is contented and at peace, and you must pay the price for your betrayal by standing vigil over the border." Her grin faltered a bit and she looked down at her hands. "The weight of the world need not rest squarely upon your shoulders; rather, it is equally divided among those of us who have accompanied you on this journey. So also is the weight of guilt and sorrow over the wounding of your people. " Another pause. "Aragorn will not allow you to stay, Enzi." She looked at him incredulously as he continued. "If he cares a morsel for you, he could not allow it. You deserve your time of rest as well. You deserve peace. And you will find no peace here."
"While my people die of sickness?!" Enzi screamed. She wasn't angry at Éomer. Not really. But she felt exposed, as if all her feelings and thoughts were laid bare for his scrutiny. And in her haste to hide them the words would come no quieter. "While they claw each other to pieces for the pleasure of living?!"
Éomer studied her again, taking a breath before continuing. "Do you remember my coronation?" He did not wait for a response. "I was still grieving for Théoden. We all were. Yet the citizens of the city planned an immense celebration. I was determined to avoid it, to offer the excuse of duty and service to the people but you stopped me. You told me something your father said to you. Do you remember what it was?"
Enzi took a knowing breath. "That sometimes happiness is a duty as well, a cloak you must place on yourself to cover their sadness. Their hurt. Their pain. That a king is sometimes a symbol of someone stronger than the people can be at the moment. And so you must push back the pain so you can truly serve them." Enzi pursed her lips together and was quiet a while. The sun was setting now, small embers of light streaking across the sky as pink and orange hues shaded the horizon. When she looked at him again there was a small bit of mirth in her eyes. "When did you become so smart, barbarian?"
"When you required it," Éomer said matter-of-factly.
"I will not just surrender the thought of helping them-"
"Of that I can be sure," Éomer declared, "but you can't just sacrifice yourself, just walk to the border alone and unaided to pay penance for what you did." He paused for a moment. "You are afterall, merely a woman." He added this with a smile and Enzi was forced to offer him a similar one. "Besides, I will need all of the wisdom you can provide on the council if I am to be successful in rebuilding Rohan." He stood, taking her arm in his as he did so and they began to walk back to the gate.
"A member of your council?" Enzi whispered. "I believed northern and western kingdoms prohibit women from serving in such a manner unless they are nobility."
"You are nobility."
"But not to your people. I- This is a wonderful privilege, but-"
"Nonsense. It is an act of selfishness at best. With Éowyn's preoccupation, I will need aide and I've come to trust your insight."
"You don't have to do this, Éomer."
"I know," Éomer chuckled, "but I want to. An Eamfelmme is permitted to be selfish from time to time."
Enzi smiled, then guffawed at the Éomer's attempt to use her language. He laughed as well and before she could stop herself, she slid her arms around his in an embrace. She felt Éomer stiffen, then quickly draw his massive arms around her as well, squeezing her to the point of lifting her off the ground a bit. Éomer's embrace was soothing, his hands massaging her back slightly. It touched her that he had been so willing (if not so stubborn) that he refused to leave her to bear this alone. "Thank you, Éomer," she said, her voice muffled a bit.
Éomer said nothing for a moment. "Be sure to remember your gratitude the next time I foolishly anger you, woman," he chuckled, the motion of his speaking inadvertently tickling her flesh. She wiggled in his grip, and he settled her down quickly lest the constant wiggling cause him to drop her. The two looked at each other a long while, each one drinking in the other's features.
"S-Shall we?" Enzi said, quickly feeling uncomfortable and the two reentered the hall.
They remained in Minas Tirith till after Aragorn's wedding ceremony. Enzi had never witnessed an elvish wedding, though she was sure there were elements of the marriage rites that honored Gondorian custom as well. It had been a beautiful, but now that the ceremony was over, Enzi felt a combination of emotions. Everyone would be returning to their former lives or preparing for a new adventure. The hobbits were given horses and provisions for their journey back to the Shire. Legolas and Gimli prepared to travel to Mirkwood, symbols that the long hatred between elves and dwarves could be softened into friendship. Aragorn was wed and now king. He would have his own responsibilities. Mchawi said he had business with someone named Bombadil but would leave Middle Earth soon after that. The Fellowship had become family to her and now was separating. This had happened before but now there was such finality to this separation. They would probably never assemble as one group again.
They all departed Minas Tirith on the same day, saying their farewells with a mixture of joy and sadness. Enzi gifted Sam with a few of her clips she'd saved from her blessing in Engoli. The hobbit's eyes grew wide and he poured the golden clips in his satchel gently. "Thank you milady," he said excitedly. His grin dropped slightly. "But I have nothing to give you."
"Well how else will you prove to the others in Hobbiton that you've met a Harad savage!" she joked, rubbing the small hobbit on the head.
It was meant to bring a smile to all of the hobbits faces, but instead Sam frowned. "Don't worry, milady," he said. "He'll be back. He promised he would."
"Who?" she asked, looking at him curiously.
Frodo spoke up quickly. "When we were in Mordor, a Harad man came to our aide. He got us through the army and to the great mountain." He paused and pointed to her maisha. "He didn't say his name but wore a necklace like yours. He bid us to tell you he would be back. He promised to come back for you."
"Dingane!" Enzi whispered, covering her mouth with her hands. "Where did he go?"
"Didn't see completely," Sam offered. "When we parted he was heading south, away from the Black Gates. Heading towards the southern mountain range."
"He was leaving Mordor? You're sure of this?"
Sam nodded. "He headed south. I watched him walk in that direction till I could see him no more. This I'm sure of."
Enzi released a deep breath she had not known she was holding. He was heading away from the gates! Their homeland was near the other side of the southern mountain range. He had not been killed by the mountain's fire. Perhaps he'd even made it near Engoli before the sickness! "Thank you, Frodo, Sam," she beamed, hugging both of them fiercely. "You have given me a gift greater than any I could ever give you."
Sam eyed her a moment. "He was your kin?" Enzi offered a nod. "Then I am confident that he will return safely."
"Aye!" Pippin declared, his horse trotting up towards them. "If four hobbits can save all of Middle Earth he can certainly make it to a simple mountain range!"
The thought of her last conversation with the four made her smile, even now as she neared Edoras. She'd been so grief stricken before but news of her brother seemed to renew her dwindling optimism. News of Dingane encouraged her. Perhaps things were not as bleak as she first believed. Éowyn commented on this as they rode. "It is good to see you in good spirits again, to see you filled with hope. And with Faramir's men scouting the border as Osgiliath is rebuilt, you will have first-hand knowledge of all the happenings in your country."
Éomer had been right. Aragorn had gently refused her request to remain in Minas Tirith or Osgiliath, but pledged to inform her of any changes observed at the border. Faramir was steward of the city but had assured the woman, at the behest of Éowyn she was sure, that he would stay in contact with Edoras, providing any information he could about the Harad lands, as well as Mordor. She felt calmer at his assurance and joined Éomer and Éowyn on their journey home to Edoras.
"I still don't know how helpful I will be to your brother," Enzi said as they rode, eyeing Éomer, who rode ahead of the convoy.
"You will be wonderful!" Éowyn insisted. "He listens to you and that itself is high praise. My brother listens to no one."
"That is no great accomplishment," Enzi reasoned. "Éomer can be reasonable when he chooses to be."
Éowyn only laughed. "Spoken as a person that never grew up with him!" The two shared a snicker and Éowyn changed the subject. "I am glad you chose to wear the dress to Aragorn's wedding. You looked beautiful!" Enzi nodded thanks as she continued. "He was certain you wouldn't."
"Éomer?" she asked. Éowyn nodded, her carefree demeanor offset by Enzi's now confused one. "Your brother gave me the gown?" Éowyn began a response but stopped as Enzi was gone in a flash, quickly driving her horse to the front of the column, riding side-by-side with the young king.
She wasted no time with pleasantries. "You gave me the gown?!" she asked abruptly, half-expecting denial or a laugh to escape his lips.
Neither came. "I did," he said simply, taking no time to look at her or change his horses stride.
"You?" She repeated, scarcely believing her ears. She hadn't even considered him. Not really. The man was quiet as her mind searched for probable motivation. She did not know much of the customs of the North and West so perhaps it had been a mere token of appreciation. A gift of thanks. Oh, why did this vex her so? If the gift had been from Éowyn or even Arwen, she would have bid them thanks and taken it graciously. An unsettling feeling stretched in her stomach. "But this is too kingly a gift, even for a friend."
"Agreed," he replied evenly, his gaze locking with hers as they rode. On his lips there was the barest of smiles.
"Then why would you endow me with such a thing? I am not your kin."
He stopped his horse, and Enzi did as well. They gazed at each other quietly, all the while a cluster of butterflies fought inside Enzi's stomach. She stared into those honest eyes. The same ones that had begged for forgiveness when they'd argued before the Battle of Pelennor. The same ones that had promised to give Faramir a chance. The same ones that had advised her about biding her time before going back home. He took her hand in both of his, studying each finger before bringing it to his lips, kissing each knuckle. When he finally spoke it was a bare whisper. "Call it another act of selfishness."
No long message this time! I hope you like the new chapter. Reviews are not only welcomed, they are appreciated! THANKS AGAIN FOR READING! :D
P.S. Let me know if you see whole sections italicized again. For some reason, I had trouble with the last chapter as well as this one. Thanks!