Chapter 37 – In the Harsh Light of Day

Previously - Rick's moved out of ICU and ready to settle into his new location complete with gadgets and lots more visitors. Meanwhile outside the hospital...

Disclaimer – even in my wildest dreams I don't own Castle or any of the characters. If I did, you'd see way more than primetime TV allows! All the other legal stuff applies too.

The Loft

Tidying away the few breakfast dishes, something felt out of place. No that wasn't quite it. Missing. Something was missing.

Ah, it was too quiet in here. The Loft was Home and that meant familial warmth, familiar sounds and endless conversation. After all living with two larger than life personalities in the form of her Dad and Grams was never quiet. One alone was enough to fill the space with life.

"Gram?" she calls loud enough to carry upstairs.

Alexis had called twice before with no answer.

Heading back upstairs, she approached her grandmother's room. Knocking, she waited for the acknowledgement.

After hearing nothing, Alexis reaches for the handle but pauses not wishing to enter her grandmother's room uninvited. Last time she did Gram was getting ready for date night and hadn't progressed past the lingerie stage – eewwww!

Summoning some courage and with eyes averted she cautiously opens the door.

"Gram?" Nothing. "Gram?" As she repeats her inquiry she spots the light in the en-suite come on.

"Just a minute Alexis."

Sure enough her Gram emerges from the bathroom. Her makeup is in place but the face beneath is still raw. Tear tracts glisten on her cheeks, and the eyes are red and puffing.

"Oh Gram!" Alexis doesn't need to voice her concern further.

"Oh Darling, it's nothing."

"It's not 'nothing' Gram. You're crying. Or you've been crying. That's not nothing. You're the first person to tell us not to hide our emotions."

"I'm sorry dear. I woke up this morning feeling so morbid and nothing I do seems to be able to shake that feeling."

"But Dad's getting better. He's out of ICU and will be hospital maybe another ten days, maybe a fortnight. Then he'll be able to come home. Sure he's got a lot of recovery after that but he'll do it. We'll all help him."

Martha sniffed, finally getting the tears under control.

"Look at me, my perfect granddaughter is more in touch with her feelings regarding her father than I am." The tears pool again at the elder red head's eyes. Alexis has hustles into her and wraps her up in a hug.

"Well that's because you're his Mom. That's a pretty big responsibility and let's face it Dad's never quite grown up."

Martha nods.

"Alexis, how did you make peace with your father's choice?"

Alexis paused. Chewing her lower lip, another Beckett trait she had subconsciously adopted.

It wasn't easy. I'm not sure I have entirely." Still chewing at that lower lip she adds "Yet."

"She has hurt him before. Many times. And I know he's hurt her too. But ultimately I came to accept their choice to be in this relationship because he's happy. So happy. That's all he's ever really wanted for me, and I guess that's what I want for him."

"I've thought it through quite a few times over the years they have been together either as colleagues or now as a couple. Not so much before Kate was shot, but especially after. And then when they finally acknowledged what they wanted. A lot of it was me being selfish. Not wanting to share him. And an element of that is fine, good even. But I'm an adult, I'm going to college, living outside of home for most of the year. I don't want him to be lonely. He deserves to be happy.

"Gram, just growing up, all that time when it was just the two of us. After Gina, he told me. Told me how growing up it was like that with you and him. Just the two of you against the world. About how you made sure he understood he was the most important thing in the world to you. Even when times were tough, or rather especially when times were not so good. He promised me he would always be that for me.

"And he has been. I know it. Gram, I know you and Dad don't talk about it but I have few memories of being taken from a mall and locked away in dark room for days. I don't remember much else except the loud bangs, light and then my Dad was there and I was safe. I know he'd do anything for me. Give up anything including Kate if it was what I told him I needed. I've been tempted. But it wouldn't make him happy.

Martha pulled Alexis in tighter and then releasing her granddaughter kissed Alexis' forehead.

"Oh my dear. We're all so terribly grateful that you've turned out so well. We all think the world of you and I don't think there is a single thing any one of us – your father, myself or Kate wouldn't do for you.

"Now I think this little tête-à-tête has helped considerably. Why don't you go relax for a few minutes whilst I fix myself up properly? Then perhaps we can go get an earlier lunch before visiting your father in his new room. Disturb the lovebirds too. That's always fun."

With that she shoos Alexis from the room, and heads back into the bathroom to make good her repairs. She loves her hair and complexion but it is awful for covering up emotional outbursts.

Clare Dunne ended her session into the video conference call between Taylor Matthews in LA and New York, the DEA field office in LA, and the LA County Sheriff's office.

'Ouch!' They had just been ripped a metaphorical new one by the Senior DEA agent. Apparently this operation of Jesus Agraz's was on the radar for a new task force from DEA, and Homeland Security and some bureaucratic snafu in the DEA hadn't flagged Taylor Matthew's interest fast enough. The blown observation from Sunday had nearly derailed an ongoing investigation.

Sass and Mitchell Belmont had taken the heat directly on the chin. The mouth from the DEA – Hillary Huston, a definite career desk jockey if ever Clare had seen one – had seemed satisfied by that, and had even indirectly credited them with not opening fire despite the imminent danger. She made great play of reluctantly letting them remain on the case.

Aside from not being kicked to touch about their only win was the footage from Marty's weapon cam – still freaking amazing that a small wireless camera could capture such detail. It had enabled them to identify at least one of the shooters positively and possibly hook in some known associates.

Still it had not been a good couple of days and with investigations in New York drawing a blank too, Sass had not been her usual upbeat self. Clare shared her good friend's disappointment and planned to go work off her frustrations in the gym and possibly in bed.

Park View Suite, Mandarin Oriental.

Bleary eyed and not a little hung over, she didn't feel like going out today. The chances of being ambushed by the increasingly hostile press or worse some of Rick and Kate Beckett's fans was more than sufficient deterrent. New Yorkers were proud of their local heroes - which was exactly how Rick and Detective Beckett were being portrayed by most of the local media. She was well aware that she was being portrayed as the interloper from the West Coast. Plus a quick check of her available finances the other night had made it clear to her that shopping, especially in the haute couture boutiques, was an indulgence she couldn't afford right now.

There were the remains of the late breakfast on the trolley awaiting collection. Toast and pastries untouched, the omelette half-eaten. Beside them was a copy of today's New York Ledger with Page two and Page Six coverage of Ricky. He was coming out Intensive Care and onto a general surgical ward.

She didn't even bother to wonder if she could visit. Alexis and the lawyers had made it perfectly clear when she should remain. She'd get herself presentable and arrange another in-room massage. The therapist from the other day had magic hands and she really had been quite relaxed afterwards.

What had started with a chance of securing her financial future looked distinctly dim right now. She had known it was a gamble but she hadn't appreciated until after Alexis' stormed out of the suite that night just how much of a risk the gamble was.

She wasn't stupid. She knew now she had been played by several parties. The cable channel to get her fixated on her career and publicity. Well more than normal. Harry Rokkman, her agent - ex-agent she corrected herself – had warned her against getting involved with them.

Then there were the drug runners and loan sharks who had moved when she was in need. The more she reviewed the events the more she realised it was a setup form the beginning. However, her puppeteers didn't know her. They might think she was under their thumb but she hadn't survived as long as she had by being mere passive road-kill.

She had known for some time that there was no way back to Rick for her. Their last ex-sex session was five years ago not long after he started at his involvement with the Police and HER. She had merely offered her body after that because it made Rick all the more eager to give her the agreed money and sometimes extra. Also the off chance that he might agree was not disagreeable. After all he was extremely gifted and talented.

She had also taken some perverse delight in teasing him about his continued history of failed relationships and repeated mistakes. But for the last three years nothing. He had even hooked up again with his other ex-wife, that fake blonde publisher. She and Gina had met accidentally at a party in LA not long after Gina's divorce from Rick. She had seemed disappointed but more so at a professional level than a personal one. Meredith tried to convince herself that she was only envious because of the big pile of loot Gina had received for being married to him, and she didn't even have to bear him a child.

She wanted to ask Harry, her agent – sorry ex-agent - his advice. He had been a steady and reliable presence in her life – one of the few - for more than a decade. She did actually feel regret that their professional relationship appeared to be over.

She wonders if she should try and contact Alexis. Her daughter was amazing. She didn't tell her this often enough but she truly was, and she had to give credit to Ricky for that. Of course her genes were a significant factor as well!

No Alexis wouldn't do. She needed a way out of this and she needed to do it fast. She also needed an impartial party that wouldn't be judgemental. Also some of what she had to tell wasn't really suitable for a teenager no matter how mature.

Making a decision she picked up the business card that Clare Dunne had left. She had more information than her shadowy manipulators had suspected. It was time to trade that in for some credit from the people she should have trusted in the first place.

Beesley, Wax & Drummond Lawyers

Jim Beckett carefully replaced the receiver of his office phone. Except it wasn't really a phone, actually some IT telecommunications integrated device with VOIP – whatever that was. He could cope with computers and the legal software and Office, hell even email and the Internet. But the social media and chat stuff was beyond him. He had no interest. It all seemed so vacuous and shallow. He preferred face-to-face as did most of his regular, loyal clients.

With that thought in mind he wondered why Jeff Beesley, Chief Operations Officer, wanted a word, and whatever it was about, it was serious enough that Jeff was coming to him rather than he being summoned to the younger man's office.

Jim missed Max Drummond, the former head partner who had retired almost a year ago. A near contemporary he and Max had shared their hopes, aspirations and fears for their children. After Katie had been shot Max Drummond had called him and told him to take as much time as he needed and to not worry about the job. Jim was forever grateful to the man who had taken a chance on a recovering alcoholic giving him a job, purpose and an opportunity to earn back some measure of self-respect. He had finally made it into an office of his own some five years ago. To celebrate the event, Max had thrown a small party and even invited Katie who surprisingly had turned up muttering something about needing to escape from the attentions of nine-year old on a sugar rush. Jim chuckled to himself and with a wry smile realised that it was almost the first, but definitely by no means the last, time his daughter had talked, usually without prompting, about Richard Castle to him. He had left out the 'told you so' - that was always Jo's department with Katie - when they had finally seen sense and started what looked like a lifelong relationship.

Since Jeff had taken the reigns, announcing that he was now the COO and not Head Partner, a number of the staff had left including some senior associates. The partners hung in there as the economy continued to drag and the buy-out terms lagged too. Jim was sure that was part of the plan to revitalise and remake this mid-sized law firm into something it wasn't. He was glad he wouldn't be here to experience whatever it was. He simply carried on with his job, dealing with his long term clients and assisting with others where requested. He had no need to showboat or strive for extra attention. He was nearing retirement but regardless of that fact, the offers from Richard Castle of as much involvement as he wanted in the charities and other trusts meant he could afford to ignore the office politics. Except of course when it was about to confront him directly.

The meeting with Jeff had been short and to the point. BWD as Jeff liked to call the firm would be taking on political work. Jeff wanted the firm's senior lawyers to step up and assist with the transformation. Jim had declined. He had a suspicion a large number of the others had too. He knew of at least one partner who would have opposed the move too.

"I don't think so Jeff. I'm a commercial lawyer. I'm too old to change and I know my strengths. If I leave plenty of the clients - well enough certainly – may follow."

Jeff had blustered and bullshitted but had not advanced any positive points. How could such an ineffective individual lead the firm especially in challenging times like now? Rick's lawyer - Steve Mathers - apparently knew Jeff from grad school. It had been the solitary occasion Steve had sworn in his presence when Jim mentioned his boss's name. 'Wanker' was term the younger lawyer had used. He liked Steve. Refreshingly direct and without the element of juvenile demeanour that could potentially make Richard Castle grate on you.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the edge of his open door. Glancing up he spots his colleague and friend, Val.

Valerie Woods was a senior partner at the firm. Just two years younger than Jim she had been married to Hennie Wax before divorcing him four years ago but despite that her ex-husband had left his share of the firm to her in his will when he died suddenly from pancreatic cancer a year later. She was one of the few who consistently and vocally opposed Jeff Beesley's plans for the firm.

"So I understand Jeff made his way down here to pitch his master plan to you. Looks like they're getting pretty desperate." She's smirking as her earthy, husky voice lilts and teases.

"Gee thanks Val! You know how to make a guy feel special."

"Yes, I do." Oh she's looking at him and there's nothing but honesty and affection. He feels it too. Wishes he could do more, be more for her.

In the last two years they had been on several nearly-dates as they called them. Then earlier this year one work party left both comfortably inebriated – her by alcohol and him simply from the endorphins - sufficiently enough to overcome their mutual mental objections to their mutual attraction. They had gone to her place and it was the furthest he had been since, well since. Until he half moaned "Jo" into Val's mouth as they were kissing and disrobing. Mortified he had stammered an apology and immediately broken down in tears of pain, humiliation and contrition. Half-naked Val had held Jim whilst he cried bitter tears of regret and loss. Neither had wanted to be alone and they had slept in the same bed. Since then things had been a curious détente between them. Neither was willing to risk another nearly date yet but they met for coffee and were gradually finding their way forward and discussing things openly.

"So coffee later, say around 5?" He propositions her and she nods her agreement. "Before I leave for the hospital and go see Rick."

"So how is your future son-in-law?" Oh God, for once in his life could he possibly not be attracted to a woman with a sharp mind and equally sharp tongue?

Author's Note

Whoops this chapter sort of popped out and jumped in front of Appreciation – Part II. That will be up next for some more Rick and Kate time plus the gang from the Precinct.

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