As the initial days passed and everything seemed to have settled down (save for our almost collective nightmares every night), a routine was established. Daniel used to get up in the morning, work part time at the local clinic (while the residents of Crabapple Cove asked for personal appointments with the other side of the house reserved for them alone) and watch Shannon at the same time. I didn't know how he did it, but he managed without exhausting himself. So, after Hawkeye and I came home, more time was freed up for him and the locals of Crabapple Cove.
In the meantime, the residents of the town, upon hearing that the local womanizer had married, gawked at me as if I was some circus freak as they came in and out of their appointments on the other side of the house. It was as if I was on a show to watch when I played, fed or disciplined Shannon. It annoyed me deeply, especially after they referred to me by my maiden name for some weeks and snubbed me while I was shopping. After a while though, the excitement slowed down and I was once free to walk outside without someone whispering or laughing at me.
In the first days Hawkeye and I started living together, I mostly took care of the baby (Shannon would always be that to me, although she was almost two years old). I was tired of being a nurse and always on the run and actually took to be the stay-at-home wife and mother thing pretty well. I didn't adjust as quickly as I thought I was going to, but I tried to stay as calm as possible for Shannon's sake. Nightmares came and went for me, whether they were during the day or night. I would always remember this thing or that and be reminded of Korea. When I did, I tried my hardest not to break down and cry, counting my blessings. I decided to try and try control and took solace in my child, husband and father-in-law. It took most of the pain away, but never all of it.
Hawkeye needed more time and space. He helped me around the house and with Shannon of course, but there were times when he was frightened and when he could not look at Shannon without wanting to cry. He would always leave when he wanted to be alone, with me explaining to our daughter that all Daddy needed was peace and quiet. She accepted it, sometimes creeping upstairs to our room and slipping inside, cuddling with Hawkeye as he slept off his tears or, less often, a bottle. He, as well as I, drank less and less, although our end of the day always involved a drink or three.
Calls from the people from the 4077th helped us a lot. BJ was the first to call, then Colonel Potter (Sherman), Margaret, Sidney (checking in, as always), Kellye, Radar, Klinger and Soon-Lee (from a military post in Pusan), Father Mulcahy and his sister the sister, Charles and sometimes Trapper. We all agreed to meet up in the spring and summer in the next year, suggestions as to where we would meet up in the air. However, when Radar suggested Crabapple Cove, Daniel was ecstatic. He prepared making room in the house (it was a huge three-story house with an uncountable number of rooms and the attic as the top floor), whistling happily and saying how much he couldn't wait until he met with our friends from Korea, the same people we wrote about as we fought in a war that we all had no business in.
We had more to celebrate though. Before the M*A*S*H 4077th reunion (scheduled for May into June 1954, with us and all of our families on board), our family was going to host our first civilian Christmas together with BJ and his family coming. He and Hawkeye were missing each other and were talking of the holidays by October. Then, Peg suggested that they just fly out so we could all meet each other. Erin and Shannon were almost the same age (Erin was two months older), so the two would get along perfectly. And us adults…well, as always, we had much to talk about and to catch up. I actually could not wait to meet Peg and Erin.
The rest came easily. Best of all, after a few months of adjustment, Hawkeye started going back to work with Daniel at the clinic (the hospital being an hour drive away and several towns away) in November 1953. It was another celebration for all of us, with reassurances from Hawkeye that he was ready to move on. However, this left me alone in the house about half the day, taking messages, making silly appointments (I had a list of who could and could not and under what circumstances), cleaning the house for the holidays and watching Shannon. Of course, I had another reason to celebrate, but did not want to tell anybody just yet. I was having my own period of adjustment and wanted to wait for the perfect moment to tell everybody, to put my own wartime demons behind me as the civilian ones took me. I have to say though, Daniel almost blew my cover at Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving 1953, most of the Pierce family came over, slept over and cooed over us. I met so many people from Hawkeye's family – my new in-laws – that my head spun. I mean, Hawkeye had several aunts and uncles and their children (his cousins) and their grandchildren. His cousin Dolly was the only person who lived locally in Crabapple Cove and bothered to come over when it was convenient for her (gossip that she is). From there, it wasn't long before she started talking to me. It took her a few months to come over, knowing to give us time to recuperate, but when she started stopping by while I was cleaning, I learned many things about the family, scandals and the like. I also learned more about Hawkeye through another person's eyes, family stories that sometimes made me laugh, cry or just bug my eyes out. I already knew about Carlye, so was interested to hear more of his girlfriends and other silly antics.
With Dolly and Daniel's help, Thanksgiving dinner was a hit. After we all ate, I went into the kitchen to bring out the bottles of wine that Hawkeye wanted served with dessert. Nobody was with me on this errand, so I took a moment to stretch out my legs and arms, happy that I helped to cook (and not burn anything like I normally did) and smiling about my new in-laws, who were all very kind and sincere. I sighed, about to reach up into the top cabinet standing on a chair, when I heard a voice behind me.
"Do you want me to get those?" It was Daniel I saw as I swerved around. He moved passed me to grab the wine from the top cabinet shelf. "I don't want you hurting yourself." He took two wine bottles from the top with ease, his height an obvious asset.
"Oh, I don't mind," I replied as I hopped down from the chair, feeling nervous all of a sudden as the dark bottles gleaned in the light, staring at me.
"As the mother of my grandchildren, I expect you to take it easy," Daniel said plainly to me, putting the wine down on the counter next to the sink and crossing his arms. "When are you due this time?"
"How did you know?" I hissed, looking to see if anybody else was listening to our conversation. I had wanted to keep it a secret until Christmas, when BJ and his family showed up, and make it a gift to Hawkeye. It would be our first peacetime child and something I did not want to burden him with just yet.
"Nobody's here to listen to us, Jeanie, if you're that worried about it." Daniel paused. "To answer your question, all I can say is that you can hide things from my ass of a son well, but you can't hide a lot from me. He's still learning about being a family man and having a wife. He'll learn, but he has ways to go." He then smiled at me, as if to tell me that he was joking, and shook his head, so much like Hawkeye.
I didn't even ask how Daniel knew, but figured it was because he was a doctor too and had seen a lot of cases over the years. And I had thought that I had hid my morning sickness and swollen belly so well too. I noted to myself that I wasn't as sneaky as I used to be and someone could beat me at my own game.
Hard as it was, I smiled as sweetly as I could. "I'm supposed to be due in June, but please, Daniel, keep it secret for a little while more. I want this as a Christmas present for you, Hawkeye and Shannon. Now you know, I guess, so Merry Early Christmas."
Daniel embraced me quickly and then took the wine from the counter. "Should we get going, then?" he asked, winking at me.
"Sure." I followed behind him as we went back into the dining room full of jolly relatives, wiping the sweat from my forehead. The secret was safe for the time being.
For the time being was a long time indeed. The surprise was kept, but it didn't stop Daniel from checking on me from time to time during the next month. That particular pregnancy was harder than my last one and it had taken a lot of effort to hide it. Although I thought I did a good job (as did Daniel), I still had to make it through Christmas and I barely did. The wait was worth it, although the fainting, vomiting and dizziness were barely welcome. By then, it became harder to conceal everything from Hawkeye, who would ask me why I was always up before him, and at four in the morning no less.
Christmas finally came upon us, with all of its trimmings, joy and festivities and was beautiful. It was our first real truce. BJ, Peg and Erin arrived on Christmas Eve Day, much to Hawkeye's pleasure. We all caught up on everything and even laughed (with no Pierce relatives in sight, since they were told to keep away from this holiday until January, when we would have our own dinner). Peg was wonderful and we hit it off well, talking well into the night, Hawkeye and BJ upstairs in the "bachelor" room (someplace akin to the Swamp). The two old Swampmen were having pillow fights and wrestling matches, playfully rolling out of the room and then bumping down the stairs as we drank our coffee in the living room, laughing at our husbands being childish.
The next day was the day to end it all, the day I had to tell Hawkeye about our next baby. While Daniel did warn me that if I didn't tell Hawkeye, he would, I still had to wait until everybody had breakfast and then opened their presents, the children first and the adults last. Shannon and Erin had become playmates fast, just like Hawkeye and BJ took to each other, and shared what they received pretty well, but it took an hour for the adults to get through everything. Finally, when we all had thanked the others for the gifts and the wonderful holiday so far, I stood up, bringing out the last package from deep under the tree that I told nobody about.
"What's in there, Jeanie?" BJ asked, seeing the tiny box in my hands.
"I think we've missed something," Daniel added, the only person who knew what was the present was.
"Uh-oh, trouble!" Shannon giggled.
"Jeanie, you've given me everything and more. What else do you have to give?" Hawkeye sat on the couch, sighing, but smiling. He knew that the gift was for him.
"More to love." Peg laughed. She knew because I told her the night before and I swore her to secrecy, telling her not to even tell BJ about child number two. I would have killed her if she said more!
"Shush," I finally said without strangling anybody, sitting down next to Hawkeye and handing him the box, kissing him on the forehead. "Merry Christmas, Love."
Hawkeye shook his head and undid the bow, ribbons and wrapping paper, lifting the box's lid and gasping when he pulled out the item I had made for him. It was a tiny green, blue and white baby cap I had knitted while he was working at the clinic. He showed it to everybody, listening to the laughter, congratulations and clapping that came from it. Nervously and gently, Hawkeye took me into his arms and kissed me merrily, gathering Shannon into his lap, telling her that she was going to have a baby brother or sister soon.
"Merry Christmas," Hawkeye finally replied as Shannon got off his lap, grinning. "When are we expecting?"
"June," I answered, laughing, thinking of how wonderful things were already, how terrific we were mending from this awful thing called war. "Our baby will be born in June."