Girl Talk

Bella

After Emmett left me alone I crawled into bed, but got very little sleep. I think perhaps the normal human reaction would be to totally freak out and then to run for the hills screaming. I have come to the conclusion that I'm not normal. The only close acquaintance in my life that is even remotely normal is Walter.

Am I freaked out that they are all vampires? Yes, maybe a little. But I had long ago subconsciously figured out that they were something other than human. Well, actually I thought they were some kind of superhero human's. All the clues were there from the beginning. I guess the reason I'm not completely terrified of the Cullens is that I had grown to love and trust them before I learned the truth about what they are.

There is only one thing that I am really upset about. No, make that two. First, and surprisingly it's at the bottom of the list, is the supposed threat from James. That is terrifying, but it's been months now. I can't help but believe if he really wanted to kill me, it would have already happened. But I find comfort that the Cullens are protecting me and I trust them to keep me safe. I've lost count on how many times already that Edward has saved me.

The thing that tortures me the most is Edward. When Emmett told me he wasn't ever going to come back I felt this huge hole open up in my heart. I know that I'm to blame. I was so mad at the time, and sometimes my temper gets the best of me. He even said he would take me away if it would protect me from James. And I responded with I wouldn't go anywhere with you, Edward. I hate you. I want you to leave me alone. Get over your feelings of protection and don't come around here again. Just stay away from me

As soon as I said it, I regretted it, but I was too proud to apologize. If I could I would take those words back. Honestly, I know that I would follow him to the ends of the earth if he would take me, if he only wanted me.

I finally fell into a very troubled sleep. When the alarm rang a couple hours later my first thought was, Vampires. Did I dream that? No, I don't think so. I've had many crazy dreams recently, but none of them answered every one of my questions.

I pulled back the curtain and looked out on the balcony. Emmett was gone, but I knew he or someone else would be close by. I opened the door and stepped out. I know that if I called, he would hear.

"Em, are you out here? I need to talk to you."

A couple seconds later I heard a sound behind me; I turned around slowly and jumped back. "Oh, you scared me." Carlisle was standing there.

"Sorry, Bella. Emmett has gone home and today it's my turn. He told me that he explained everything to you. Do you have some more questions?"

"Um, not really. I just needed to talk to someone. And I'm glad it's you, I think I would feel uncomfortable to talk to Emmett about this."

"Why don't we go inside? While I'm here I would like to look at your arm."

"Good idea." I followed him inside and we went to the living room and sat down on the couch. Carlisle took my arm and started to remove the bandage.

"You've been taking the antibiotics I left?"

"Yes." I was happy for the interruption. I was nervous and unsure if I should even say anything to Carlisle.

Carlisle seemed pleased with how my arm was healing. "I see no signs of infection. But don't stop taking those antibiotics, finish them all." He replaced the bandage, sat back and looked at me as if waiting for me to proceed. When I didn't say anything he broke the silence. "Emmett told me you took the truth about us and didn't faint or scream. But, I'm sure that you had to be somewhat shocked."

"Somewhat," I answered. "But really, I already knew something was different."

"So, what did you want to talk about?" He looked at me suspiciously. "Is this about what happened the other night?"

"Yes… um no. Not really. Well, I guess it is." I sputtered like a idiot.

Carlisle chuckled. "Bella, there's no reason to be nervous, I'm the same Carlisle I always was."

"I'm not nervous," I lied.

"I know you are, I can hear your increased heart rate and you're starting to perspire."

"Huh?"

"Bella, it's nearly impossible for a human to lie to a vampire and get away with it. You could probably pass a lie detector test easier than to try and pull the wool over a vampires' eyes."

"Okay, but I'm not nervous because you're here. I'm not scared of you. If you were going to kill me, I think that would have happened months ago. I'm just so confused."

"I'm glad you're not scared. But what are you confused about?" He asked patiently.

Just say it Bella. "Edward," I blurted out.

"What about Edward?" He asked calmly.

"I said some really mean things to him, I even told him I hated him. I don't hate him, I feel really horrible."

Carlisle had a stunned look on his face; this was clearly not what he expected. "You're not mad at him?"

"I was mad when I said it; he was rude and I just lost it."

"Bella, I know Edward was not himself that night. He was furious that you were in danger and then he struggled with the smell of your blood."

"Why doesn't my blood bother you? How can you be a doctor?"

"Years and years of discipline. And I want to help people."

"Wow, that really is amazing. I guess if I had known about the vampire and blood thing I would have been more careful around Edward." I turned away from Carlisle in shame. "I threw his bloody jacket at him, it got blood on his hands and he freaked out." I laughed without humor. "And I thought he had some kind of a blood phobia. I'm such an idiot."

Carlisle put his cold hand on my shoulder. "You're not an idiot, Bella. You are lucky that Edward has a lot of control, if you had done that to Jasper or Emmett we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

"I want to talk to him and apologize."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I think you should wait a couple days. He's very upset with himself right now. He needs to calm down."

"Upset with himself? Why? He saved my life. I'm that one that acted like an ungrateful idiot."

"Bella, he almost bit you that night."

"He's a vampire, it's not his fault. I provoked him. I threw my blood right in his face, literally."

He smiled and shook his head at my words. "You'll never convince him that it's not his fault. Edward tends to take the weight of the world on his shoulders."

"I know that he can read your mind, is there a way you can you keep this conversation from him? I would like to tell him that I'm sorry for myself."

"I should be able to do that for you. Now, don't you need to get ready for work?"

"Oh, yes. I forgot. I better hurry. Thanks, Carlisle." I gave him a hug and ran for my closet.

"Bella, one other thing. Since you know that we are watching over you, I'll get you a schedule of who will be here and then if you want to go somewhere like the pier or a movie you can call us and we can just go with you. You don't need to be tied to your apartment anymore. We want you to go out and enjoy life. We just need to be close to keep you safe."

"Thanks, Carlisle, I'll do that."

I quickly got ready, grabbed a Pop Tart and a glass of milk and ran downstairs to open the store. I was a couple of minutes late, but no customer was there to beat the door down.

It actually was a slow morning as it was the first day of school. I didn't have one customer all morning. I swept and dusted then washed the windows. By two o'clock, the store was spotless and still not one customer had come in.

I pulled out my cell phone and looked at the list of numbers. I resisted the urge to call Edward. I would wait a while like Carlisle advised. But I couldn't resist sending a text to Emmett.

Em, missed you this morning. Please have Alice and Rosalie call me. I really would like to talk to them.

Then I sent him a second message.

Thanks for being brutally honest with me. I really appreciate it. Surprisingly, I feel better just knowing the truth.

I instantly received a text reply.

Hey, little sis, glad you didn't freak out, I'm sure it's because you have such a wonderful big bro. Ha. Give us a few minutes and I'll have the girls give you a call.

I responded with a brief, K.

I was so excited, I felt like jumping up and down like a little kid on their birthday. I just know we can continue our friendship even though it won't be in person. I have confidence that in a few years we can meet and hang out again. I know they are both strong girls and will overcome the desire to drink my blood as the Cullens have done.

I bounced around the shop with the phone in my hand. Please, please, please don't let a customer come in right now.

I waited for what seemed forever, but actually it was only a couple of minutes. When the phone rang I was so excited I nearly dropped it. It was an unknown number, but I knew it was one of my best friends. I barely squeaked out a ' hello '.

"Bella." It was Alice, not the bloodsucking monster that tried to kill me; it was my sweet and lovable Alice. I never had expected to hear that singsong voice again. I couldn't help it. I was jumping up and down laughing like a hyena and had tears flowing down my cheeks.

"Alice!" I screamed.

"Wow, Bella. I'm not deaf you know."

"Hey, Bella."

"Rosalie!" I screamed again.

I heard laughter on the other line. And as suddenly as it started it stopped. Then I heard Alice speak.

"Bella, we are so sorry about…"

"Enough, I don't want to hear another thing about that. I know you couldn't help it. So, please, let's drop it and never talk about it again," I chastised them.

"Em's right, Bella, you are a crazy little human," Rosalie said.

"I'm not so crazy; I'm wearing a garlic necklace right now," I joked.

I heard a snort and a laugh, "Like that would stop us." We fell right back into the old teasing routine; it was like we never parted.

"So, Bella..." Alice sang. "Have you met any cute boys?"

"Well, yes I have," I choked. "But no one special."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it," she replied.

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason."

"You are such a liar," I replied.

"Maybe." She laughed.

"So what are you guys up to?" I asked.

"If we told you we would have to kill you," Rosalie answered.

"Ha ha, Bite me." There was roaring laughter on the other end of the phone. "Besides I have a big brother that will protect me against the really bad monsters. He has already promised me."

"I would like to see him try. I'll fight with him later and let you know how it turns out."

I heard Emmett in the background, "No fair." And then more laughing.

"Why did he say that?" I asked.

"He is just upset, cuz he knows right now I can so totally whip his butt," Rosalie bragged.

"What?"

"It's a newborn thing, we are really strong. He hates it. But I'm loving it and I take advantage whenever I can."

"Emmett did tell me that you are super strong, but you better not hurt my big brother, or I'll mail you my garlic necklace. I'm sure you'll love it. It'll make a nice addition to your accessories."

"Trust me, Bella, when I hurt your big brother, he likes it," she laughed.

"Okay, maybe that's too much information. So, you never answered my question, what are you guys up to?"

"Well, we've been helping Esme in her garden, but better than that we've discovered Internet shopping. Do you need anything?" Alice joked.

"No, please. I live in a small apartment and my closet is already packed."

Rosalie joined back in, "Come on, Bella, I know you can use more shoes. I know you only have tennis shoes."

Our conversation continued along that vein for another half an hour. It was so good to talk with them again. Just like old times. I loaded both of their phone numbers on my cell phone and we promised each other to talk every day. When I hung up with them, I felt like I was on top of the world. Just one missing ingredient and my world would be perfect. Well, almost. It kind of sucked that everyone in the world that I loved would potentially kill me if I got a paper cut around him or her.

It was three in the afternoon before I finally had customers. School must be out. I had to get my head out of the clouds and get busy. The closer it got to five o'clock the more excited I got. I'm not going to wait until tomorrow to talk to my friends, I'm gonna call them back tonight.

About an hour before closing time Jake walked through the door. I was really happy to see him.

"Hey, Jake, you gonna buy something today, or did you just come to hassle the hired help?" I teased.

He looked slightly embarrassed, "Umm, I need a book for school. I actually meant to buy it the first time I came in, but you got me side tracked and I forgot."

"Sure, blame it on me. What book do you need?"

"I think its called Tell-Tail Liver."

I raised my eyebrows and asked, "Do you mean The Tell-Tale Heart?"

"Yeah, that's it," he admitted. "I knew it was some body part."

"That's a little heavy. Are you sure you don't want the audio version?"

"You have it in audio?" He got all excited. "That would be great. I checked the library and it's already been checked out."

I walked him over to the audio books section and crossed my fingers that we had it in stock. Bingo. I took one off the shelf and handed it to him. "Don't listen to it when you go to sleep."

"Why not?"

"Have you ever read Poe before?"

"I never heard of Poe before. What's that about?"

"Poe is the author. He wrote the poem, The Raven. Did you ever read it?"

"Poetry, ugh. I hate poetry. I either ditch or sleep in class when we study poetry."

I had a feeling I should steer away from this subject with Jake. Just let him experience it for himself. He'll probably be back in a couple of weeks to ask me what The Tell-Tale Heart was about. He'll probably sleep through the audio version.

"So reading is not your thing. What subjects do you like in school?"

"Well…" He thought. "I like PE and History a little. But other than that, I really like to work on cars. I love tearing them apart and putting them back together. I don't need poetry for that."

"No, I guess you wouldn't." I looked at the clock; it was a quarter till five. I had to get rid of him. "So, you need anything else?" He looked at me and shook his head, no. I grabbed the audio book from him, walked to the cash register and rang up his purchase.

He looked at me like he wanted to talk to me, but I shut him down. I was very polite as I handed him his bag and told him I would see him next time. He took the hint and walked out the door.

Ten more minutes and I could lock up. I started to balance the cash register and prayed that no more customers would walk in the door. I just finished the register when the store phone rang. Ugh, its time to close and the stupid phone rings. But I didn't want to take a chance and not answer it. It could be Walter so I walked to the back of the store and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Port Angeles New and Used Book Store, how may I help you?"

"Hello, I repeated." There was no one on the phone. I hung it up and rushed to the front door. I locked it and flipped the sign. CLOSED

I took out my cell phone and headed to my apartment.

I was just about the hit the dial button when I heard a noise behind me.

I turned around to my worst nightmare. I never thought this day would come. James was standing there with a big grin on his face and he had his camera pointed at me.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again. Long time no see." He reached for my cell phone and took it out of my hand. "We don't want to lose this."