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John woke up wrapped in a wonderful warm feeling. He felt shy thinking that Greg hadn't let him go after their climax last night. With a faint blush and hint of smile he turned around to look at the man wrapped around him from behind.
"How long have you been awake?"
Greg didn't reply, he kept looking deeply into John's eyes. A sadness over his face.
"What's wrong? Have you been called to the office early?" John said with a frown and genuine concern.
Yet Greg didn't reply. He came over John swiftly covering John completely with his body. He started stroking John's messy hair.
John held Greg with both his hands and asked again "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking my fill of the day." For the first time came a husky reply from Greg that morning.
He reached down and kissed John's eyes, nose and lips with tenderness and resumed stroking.
"You want me to fall asleep again?" John inquired with a smile.
Greg smiled and put his face in the crook of John's neck to place warm kisses. John shivered and in an attempt to dissuade Greg he tried to push him to side and be on top.
Greg held him down with full force and the passion in his half lidded eyes made John shiver some more. He lay helplessly beneath the man he loved.
That sadness again came over Greg's appearance and he bent down to put his head on John's bare chest. He held on to John so hard that it felt like his head will dissolve into John sometime soon. John stroked Greg.
After long moments of silence passed and John started getting worried, Greg abruptly got up and took John with him.
"Let's have a shower first."
John had no inhibition with Greg. He stood confidently under the shower as Greg gently, thoroughly soaped him. Greg touched every scar on John's body. John discovered the scars on Greg. His trained eyes knew which were from playing games and which from combat. He took the liberty of soaping Greg too. The entire time they kept quiet and let their actions talk for themselves.
"I'll make some tea." Greg said while drying off John's hair.
"Okay."
John was in a dilemma, whether he should put on his clothes and be ready to get out with Greg or should he wait for instructions. While thinking John looked into the kitchen to find a very morose looking Greg standing with his hands on the countertop, leaning over the kettle.
John decided he had had enough of silence. He went in and encircled Greg's waist from behind. He hid his face in the neck of the bathrobe that Greg was wearing.
"What's wrong?"
Greg turned around and hugged him back with a tired sigh.
"I don't want you to leave."
"Now?"
"Ever."
John was taken aback. He loved Greg but this was indeed a big decision.
"Don't you think we should spend more time together before…"
"That's the problem." Greg said exasperatedly letting John go. He pinched the bridge of his nose and started speaking.
"Look, the moment I walk out of that door is the moment I lose control over my life. My job takes over. It always has, always will. And having said that I can't, I absolutely can't promise you when I'll be home or when I'll be able to talk to you again. Now everything seems rosy and fine but that won't be the case for long. I may not be able to see you like this for a long time. Maybe a week or maybe more. I need a solution to this."
"Greg..!" John said sliding his hands on Greg's arms "We had a discussion about this. You told me and I know that…"
"Knowing and going through are not the same John." Greg turned to put out the oven and then walked to the living area. He stood with his back to John. Two hands resting on his neck.
"It feels so empty after I come home every night. Not just the nights I can't make it to see you. But also on those nights that I do."
"I know I'm not a great man John." He turned to look at the man. "And most certainly not the one worth waiting for all the time."
John felt something start to give away within him.
"But I too hope to see a familiar face when I come home. And even if I don't, I want to know that there will be someone when I do." He looked up at John imploringly.
"Is that too much to ask for?"