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I APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK TO UPDATE. I ENDED UP WITH THE FLU FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS. (& don't like doing 'fake' updates just to tell you that because I know how annoying it is when author's do that). HOPE THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT! I DEDICATE THE 93 PAGES TO YOU. EPILOGUE COMING SOON.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Coming Home
The characters find the real meaning of 'home'.
(As always, songs/pics in profile.)


Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with! I worked my ass off to write this fun. Don't take what ain't yours.

My LONG-ASS Special Thanks to:
- To My readers and loyal reviewers.... Words cannot describe how much it means to me, to have you all here, sharing this partial-ending to the first chapter of these characters lives with me. You have been my constant north star, pushing me to finish this, encouraging me to stay strong, providing honest and always appreciated feedback, critique, and advice, suggestions, you name it... Thanking you for helping me get this story out, reccing it to friends, on sites, communities, threads, etc. I've grown stronger because of you, and so have these characters. I thank you for allowing this story to come into your lives for a couple of hours during the day. I am blessed to have you be just as much a part of this as I am. Without you, it would have never been possible. Thanks for understanding my complicated nature about not being able to respond to every review. Know that I read your words, and they always sink into my heart. I'm grateful for every single one of them, even the negative and critical. Thank you for everything. I cannot wait for the epilogue, and for the sequel. (Check the bottom for a/n's.) I cannot wait to see all your beautiful names on the reviews, in the pms, on the threads and boards. I cannot wait to share the second chapter of these characters with you. I pray you cannot wait either. ;) The sequel title is: True Life: The Next Factor.
- To My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn). Wow. What can I say?? You came into my life like a flash of lightening, shook me until my change fell out, and proved to me that there are people willing to fight for me and with me, for what's right. You have one of the most beautiful souls I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and a future that is very bright and endless. There are not too many people that I consider irreplaceable in my life. People come and go all of the time, for whatever reason, whether it be seasons changing or lives adjusting. But you, my dear, are irreplaceable. I adore you. Thank you for your many talents. For your trust. For everything. (And thank you for getting me through the hardest scene I have ever written in my life. I wouldn't have made it without you by my side.)
- Special shout-out to my 1st beta on TEF, Katie (Kwizbit) -- thank you for encouraging me to continue this story after chapter one. I appreciate all the effort you put into this, all the late conversations, and debates. Your energy for this story has not been forgotten, and I want to give you *hugs* and tell you thank you, thank you, thank you!
- To My Twilighted, A.T.T.E.F. Facebook, & Lexicon members -- I know, without a doubt in my mind, that you have all entered my life for reasons that cannot be defined. All of you go beyond the limit to support this story. Even if you only join, or if you pop in to say a single hello. Whether you put a banner in your story, or get the word out however you can. Voting, debating, arguing, supporting... You have all been my biggest supporters. I love the crazy (and sometimes stressful) debates and banter. I love the suggestions, the predictions, the guidance you've given me (even when you don't know you do it! Goes to show you I read EVERY SINGLE FEEDBACK and take it into consideration, wink.). There will be plenty more special treats coming for you, including sneak peeks for upcoming chapters, new character breakdowns, song samples, pictures of Masen and whatnot... You deserve everything I can try to give to you. Thank you for blessing me with your kindness.

(This song was chosen for each character, because it relates to them all, for different reasons.)

"I see myself in you... In everything you do.
And when you're all alone at night, you know I am by your side.
'Cuz I'm there too.
I see me in your eyes, ...and I'm the tears you cry.
And when you fall apart and are dying from a broken heart...
I'm there too.
I see your footsteps in the sand, as you journey on across this land.
But if you should fall on your way, then I will carry you that day.
'Cuz I'm there, I'm there too.
...Yeah, I'm there... too."

~ Michelle Featherstone, "I'm There Too"

Chapter Thirty-Six: Coming Home

EdwardPOV

After my run, I entered the house to find Bella and Aimee in my kitchen, sitting at the bar. Talking like they were old friends.

This whole entire thing just fucking weirded me out to no end. Bella wasn't friends with Aimee. Aimee wasn't friends with Bella. I understood that she wanted to help her out, and that was great. But I wish she'd understand how this was for me. Aimee was my friend, yes. But she was also the girl who'd had an extensive and strange relationship with me on the side. Not to mention that I'm her mentor at work. Both of those things I could have handled fine, but that was all before Bella came back into my life. Now it was strange.

It bothered me that Bella couldn't understand that this put me in an awkward situation. I was skittish already, known for over-thinking everything. I didn't want to talk to Aimee too much, because I was afraid it'd upset Bella. But then again, I didn't want to ignore Aimee, because she needed all the help and support she could get. Besides, I was the one who helped her fuck her whole personal life to hell. She fell into the many traps I'd placed, back before I gave a damn about anything or anyone else but myself.

I wiped my sweaty face with my shirt and met them there, tentatively standing next to the fridge.

"Hey babe, how was your run?" Bella asked as she took a sip of her coffee. Aimee held her cup between both her hands, looking from me to her cup.

"Uhhh, it was fine," I nodded. "What...are you two up to?"

No answer as they started talking to each other again.

I cleared my throat.

Obviously they didn't hear me. So I repeated my question.

"We're just discussing options," Bella smiled, before turning to Aimee again. "Trying to figure out the best move she should make."

I gave another nod as I pulled out a two-liter of seven-up and poured myself a glass. I made sure to cling to the bar. I didn't want to be too close. I'd seen Bella's wrath, and I wasn't sure just yet how far her kindness stretched.

Aimee began explaining something to Bella, both their voices so low I couldn't hear, and I suddenly felt like a third-wheel in my own house. "Where's Masen?"

Bella didn't even look at me. "Mom asked if she could take him with her into town. She's meeting your mom, and I think Esme's coming back here."

"My mom is coming here today?"

"No, I'm not sure that's the best thing," Bella was saying to Aimee, ignoring me. "Not if your mom's already upse-"

"Hello?"

"Yes, she's coming," she replied hastily.

I exhaled, clearly not making any headway. "Alright," I said, "I'm going to shower."

Neither of them acknowledged my comment.

*&*#!#$^%$^

When I finished, Bella was laying on the bed on her back, her hand covering her stomach where her shirt was pushed up. "Hey you. How was your shower?"

I purposely ignored her.

"Edward?"

"...So, now you can see me again?" I scoffed, shaking my head as I threw the damp towel behind my back. "Nice to know."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Don't be a pain. I was trying to make her feel more welcome."

"That doesn't mean you have to ignore me, Bella." I opened the closet and pulled out a shirt. "This is really fucking awkward for me as it is. I wish you could grasp that."

"How is it awkward? I thought you want to help her?"

"I do, but she's still my ex or however you want to define her. I know how you are, and I don't want to start a war if I talk to the girl when I'm not on the clock."

"You won't. I'm the one that told her to come in and stay until we figure it out."

I threw on my green Hurley t-shirt and pulled out a pair of jeans. "Bella, sometimes you get pissed when I even say hello to a girl. Especially someone I've been with. And quite frankly, Aimee's the only person that I've had in my past that I still like and hang out with, that's still my friend. And I know that drives you up a wall. I just can't understand why on earth you think that this would be an comfortable environment for me."

"What would you have me do Edward? Send her back out in the middle of the night, in the rain, in a taxi that she could barely pay for?"

I shook my head slowly, fastening my belt around my waist.

"That's what I thought."

"Then why don't you give me some rules or something. Because I don't know how to act right now. I mean, there wouldn't ever be anything you had to be threatened by. You are my wife and I love you more than my life. I am not stupid enough to fuck that up twice. But, you're nearly as bad as I am when it comes to people from our past. I don't want to feel like you're going to be pissed if I talk to her? If I try to help her out? If we're in the living room having a conversation and you're not there? What if she needed to be driven somewhere while we're figuring all of this out? What is allowed?"

"Edward, those are your issues, not mine. I'm not that prote-"

"Bullshit, Bella. You're just as protective of me as I am of you."

She sat up slowly, rounding her shoulders, "I... think that I should give her a chance."

I crossed my arms, staring down at her, "Let me ask you a question, Bella. If Aimee was never put in this type of situation, would you still want to give her a chance?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while now," she murmured with a shrug. "...I want to know what it is about her that people like... We'd only been talking for about fifteen minute before you got back, but... she seems quite gracious."

"She's humble," I agreed.

"I can tell."

Sighing, I dropped down beside her on the bed. I ducked my head so I could meet her eyes, holding them with my own. "I don't want you comparing every answer, every thing she does, to yourself. Wondering secretly what I saw in her, why we're still friends, or getting any dumb ideas in your head. I keep telling you I will spend my life trying to make up for the stupid shit I did while we were apart. The stupidest thing was to let you think I didn't love you or that you could be replaced in my life. I don't want you dwelling on that shit."

"I won't," she replied calmly. "I promise."

"And she's not moving in here."

She giggled, "I know that, Edward."

I groaned, falling back onto the covers as I ran my fingers through my wet hair. "Fine. We'll... do it your way."

"Thank you."

"But if you start turning into the Bella that I'm used to, give me some warning before you start beating ass, got it?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

Bella lay beside me, kissing my jaw line, "...I'm going to go into town with her. She has a few things at her mom's that she can get, clothes and stuff. She's going to try and see if she can stay there, but she doesn't think her mom is going to let her... So I'm going to pretend I'm the friend, just in case."

"Her mom's a bitch."

"That's what she was telling me."

"She really is, Bella."

"I can handle it, Edward."

BellaPOV

I gave Aimee some more of my clothes to wear. The great thing about being with Edward was, you never had to worry about clothes. The man likes clothes. If I ever ran out (which wasn't likely, since he somehow always conned me into getting more every time we went shopping), then I could just borrow his. Because we all knew he'd never run out. I also taught her the all-too-well-known tricks to covering bruises with make-up. Between Colleen and myself, we'd mastered that technique. I didn't want the girl showing up on her mother's doorstep with bruises. She'd never let her live it down.

Aimee was still uncomfortable. I could tell by how she'd only speak when spoken to in my car. I knew I had to break through to her if I was going to help her, but I wasn't sure exactly how. Edward put some things into perspective for me earlier. I didn't think it was easy for Aimee to speak to me, since I am his wife. But the last thing I needed was more enemies. I had much more responsibility at home, with my son and my husband. All I wanted these days was peace and quiet. No stress. Definitely drama free. Besides, the fights that Edward and I had about Ryan and Aimee were quite tiring.

We just needed to put it out there. Girl to girl. And I couldn't allow myself to be sensitive, because there were questions I'd always wanted answers to. "So," I turned down my radio as we turned onto the highway, "...I know that you must still feel awkward around me, and that's understandable. But I don't want you to feel that way. I don't want to feel that way about you either. So I think we should just clear the air, get the elephant out of the room, that way you can focus on more important things, like your next move. What do you say?"

She nodded slowly, playing with the seatbelt strap across her chest. "Okay."

"I don't know much about you and Edward," I began, cracking the ice, "other than the fact that you two were involved, that you still work together, and you're still his friend. He's never told me anything bad about you, nothing at all. I want you to know that."

She smiled sheepishly, still not looking my direction. "Thanks..."

I nodded.

"Um... He... never said anything bad about you, either."

Looking over at her, I was stunned. "He... talked to you about me before we got back together?"

She gave a nod. "Of course. People do that when they get to know one another."

I pursed my lips, watching as a truck passed us in the fast lane. "It's surprising that nothing was negative, if I'm being honest, considering that we weren't together for a lot of reasons."

"He would... only talk about you during the days when he'd reveal how down he was. Most of the time, he kept himself busy, but..." She took a deep breath, shaking her head slowly. "A few times, he'd show it. I knew he was suffering from a broken heart. Everyone at work knew it. It's not like he spent every hour in misery. Most of the time he'd laugh and do his work and go. But, I think that... it got tired, after a while, keeping up the disguise."

And, just like that, I was back there again, experiencing all those same emotions. I inhaled deeply, trying to clear my head. Unconsciously, the thumb of my left hand went to the underside of my wedding rings. "Would it be all right if I asked you a question, Aimee?"

"...Sure," she said tentatively, eyes searching my face as I drove.

"How did you... m-meet Edward?"

She bit her lip cautiously, looking out the passenger window. "Oh, um, I started just a couple weeks after him. At the time, I was still in high school, but I was enrolled in the I.C.E program, where we go to school half day, and go to work the other half. I was granted an internship at the hospital, but since I didn't have much experience, I was in a group that was called 'guineas'. Basically, we were under the interns, the very bottom of the list. That's how Edward became my mentor. It was sort of like the chain of command. They wanted to give them responsibility right out of the gate, to see who'd buckle. Quite a few did, but Edward didn't. He stayed strong, determined. Everyone saw the drive in his eyes. He wanted it."

"Did you two get along from the very beginning?"

"Yes... He was very sweet to me. He really helped me stay focused on work, when others would get me down for whatever reason. Just like any other work-place, there's always egos, people who think they're better than you. It can be very intimidating, especially in such a competitive work-place."

I exhaled slowly, not wanting to grill her too much, though I was secretly dying to. It would go against Edward's trust. Besides, my mother always told me not to ask questions I didn't want to know the answer to.

"Can I ask you a question, Bella?" she asked nervously.

"Sure," I smiled.

"I know I shouldn't, but I am curious... Off the record, I mean... Was there... something that I did? I mean, with Masen's delivery... moving me off the case..."

"Oh," I frowned. "That. Well... Edward and I had been to therapy and the subject of our pasts came up, like it usually does. This time it was more or less about people in our pasts. I was always under the impression that you two had... hooked up a few times and still worked together, nothing more. But then Alicia, our therapist, made us actually talk about it, and... Edward basically explained to me that there was a lot more to it than that. I wasn't aware that you two had dated, and I wasn't aware that you were that... close, and still are apparently, and... it made me feel awkward, with the baby and our new life together. I felt it would be just as awkward for you too."

She nodded slowly, looking out the window again.

"But," I continued, taking the exit we needed, "I don't want it to be awkward anymore. You two still have to work together, you two are still friends, and Edward and I have made it very clear that the friends we made while we were not together are not going anywhere. Edward's said nothing but good things about you, and I'd... like to give you a shot, if you're willing to give me one as well."

"That'd be nice, Bella."

Aimee gave me the instructions, and five minutes after we left the interstate, we pulled up to a petite, cute-looking, one-story brick home. Steps lead to a tiny porch in the front with white trim, and a white garage was hidden in the back to the right.

"What is your mom's name?"

"Her name is Shelly, but…you… don't have to come in." She was clearly nervous.

"It's up to you."

She inhaled slowly, as she looked toward the front door. "On second thought, it'd be... nice if you could." I gave her a nod and we climbed out, her leading to the front door. "I don't know if I should knock," she murmured to herself as she stared at the 'Home Sweet Home' mat below her feet.

"It's probably best to, just in case."

Aimee cleared her throat and knocked. The sound of tiny dogs barking and scratching behind the door, along with her mother's voice calling "Just a minute" caused Aimee to lock up in place. I felt so awful for the girl. Knowing all she'd dealt with, with her asshole boyfriend, and now having to face the mother who threw her out. It wasn't fair.

The door swung open, revealing a woman with dishwater-blonde hair, broad shoulders and Aimee's cheekbones. She wore jeans and a long black loose-fitted t-shirt. Two Yorkie Terriers barked by her feet, and she held a cigarette in her hand. She looked from me to Aimee, and her eyes turned angry when she looked at her daughter.

"Hey... Mom," Aimee said, sticking her hands in her pocket.

"What do you want?"

"This is my...friend, Bella."

She smiled at me, then turned back to Aimee, her smile disappearing. "What do you want, little girl? What did you do now?"

"I… um... was wondering if I could get... some of my things?"

Her mother scoffed and swung the door open, Aimee and I having to jump back so it wouldn't take our heads off. "Make it quick, Jeff is on his way back here, and we all know too-well how good you two get along."

I silently followed Aimee inside as her mother scooped up the dogs, closing the door behind us. The house was small, the living room tinier than Edward's and my master bathroom. The floors creaked when you walked. Aimee led me to the left, down a narrow hallway filled with tilted and uneven pictures of her growing up, then suddenly, a blank spot where a picture was missing and the frame was busted.

Aimee turned to me when she reached the door on the far end. "Um, Bella... I haven't been in here in a long time, but... there's some pictures of my friends and I on the walls, unless my mom destroyed it all. A few of them have... Edward in there.. I don't know if it'd bo-"

"It's fine," I reassured her, as she opened the door. I didn't know who Jeff was, but if they weren't getting along, the last thing we needed was to be there and cause more drama for her.

Her room had dark purple walls, with the bed made neatly, and clothes strewn around one side of the wall. The closet door was open with shirts hanging off some of the hangers, almost falling onto the dingy white carpet below our feet. She had one window, and it looked to be glued shut, with rusty looking curtains hanging on one side from it.

She quickly grabbed a bag and started shoving stuff in it, anything she could grab.

I looked around the walls at the Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, and Aubrey Hepburn posters. They were hung above her headboard with a few beads and lights hanging around them as a make-shift frame. Black and white portraits. The classics. "Those are nice," I muttered as I walked around her bed, looking for another bag to help her.

"Thanks... I love them. They're my idols. Who I used to dream I'd grow up and be and look like..."

"You wanted to be an actress?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "I think all girls want to be actresses at some point, but I... I wanted to be iconic. Now look at me."

"Everyone goes through hard patches," I reassured her. "It'll pass, trust me."

She gave me a tentative smile before returning to her task at hand. When I turned around toward the tiny book shelf that leaned more to one side, I noticed a cork-board above it with pictures and cards and letters tacked to it. Certificates, graduation, college... a picture of what I presumed to be her as a little girl. Some with a group of girlfriends, all pretty with shiny hair, her in the middle holding what appeared to be concert tickets. There was a picture of her with Justin Timberlake, and another of her with Mariah Carey. Quite a few of her with Dale. Then to the left were a few with people I recognized. One of her and Paul, him wearing a green tshirt with his arm around her while he flipped off the camera. Some of her with Anna, and Scotty, and Andrew. Then there were the ones of her and Edward.

My heart stopped as my eyes scanned over them. There were five that I noticed him in. One was a group shot of all of their coworkers behind the hospital, in front of the lake. They were side by side, their hips touching. Nothing too bad to handle. But the other four were of them solo. One where he was standing sideways and she was facing forward, his pelvis touching her hip, his arms around her body, her hands over his to hold them there. Her head was tilted toward him, while she wore a black, off the shoulder shirt. He stood tall, in his white jacket and jeans. They appeared to be on a street somewhere.

Another was of them more snuggled, him in a pea-coat, his bronzed hair perfect, and her the sideways one this time, with her body pressed up against him and her head tilted against his shoulder and neck. There was writing on it that read, 'Yo Aims. You're sexy. But I'm sexier. ~E.' I would recognize that beautiful scrawl anywhere.

The next one was of them in a bar, him in a leather jacket, her in a black shirt. They sat side by side in chairs, leaning in toward each other. His arm was thrown over her shoulder. There appeared to be a band in the background. But the last one was the hardest to look at. It was a close up, Edward in a white t-shirt and sunglasses, his hair beautifully messy, and Aimee in a colorful tank top. He stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and arms, his hands holding hers in his. Their faces pressed side by side. Edward looked content, or so I figured, since there was a slight smile. His eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, though. It was much harder seeing him smile, though that's what I wanted while we were apart. But knowing he wasn't miserable in suffering the whole time, as selfish as that may be considering I wasn't miserable and suffering the whole time either... that part sucked. Not to mention Aimee was beautiful in that shot, with her long blonde hair swept behind her shoulders and her big blue eyes still visible despite the sepia finish of the picture.

Aimee zipped up the bag, forcing my attention back to her. She worked fast, already on her third bag.

I bit my lip, glancing back at that picture again, "Where... was this taken?"

She blushed as my finger touched the picture, looking back toward the shoes she was packing. "Um... We had gone to a concert. That was taken before, though. Hinder, I think it was. A whole bunch of his friends went, Paul and Dean and some girls I didn't know. They flew in to hang out with him."

"I see."

She ran her fingers through her hair, dropping the bag on the floor. "I guess this is it. Oh, wait, I gotta get my curling iron I left here." She ran out of the room, the door hitting the back wall and making an awful ricochet noise as it bounced back.

While she was gone, her mother entered, carrying one of her Yorkies, "Where's Dale the Prick?"

"We just came to get her things," I replied, steering the question elsewhere. She didn't need to know what was going on. She didn't look like she cared at all.

"That girl, I swear, she's so damn stupid and worthless... One day, I'm afraid the police are going to show up, telling me she was found in a gutter somewhere. She has no common sense. Fucking dumb. Choosing a man over her own mother. He's an asshole."

I nodded, looking toward my shoe. "It's hard, letting your children grow up and make their own decisions."

Shelly scoffed, "Yeah. If she ever decides to grow up. Plus he never allows her to make her own decisions. I didn't think she'd go back to him, I don't get why she does. The girl had every thing going for her, then she throws it all away-"

"Mom enough," Aimee huffed as she moved past her, back into the room. "Bella doesn't need to hear your complaints. Stop bitching about me. I'm almost out of your hair."

"Good," her mother muttered as she left the room. "Acting like a fucking dumbass..."

Aimee started throwing straps over her shoulder, and I rushed to help her. "Thanks," she sighed, with a frown, fighting back tears. "For this."

"You're welcome," I whispered, following her out. They didn't say goodbye as she walked out of the house. Her mother didn't even look at her.

I knew that I was new at this whole parenting thing. But I've forgotten what my life was like before Masen had entered it. I couldn't imagine for one second not wanting to see him, or tell him that I love him, how important he is in my life.

I didn't blame Aimee for choosing to leave. It was clear her mother had other focuses in her own life. Aimee must have fallen into the trap of Dale's, 'I need you' speech, felt as if she was wanted, unlikie living here. Classic victim trap.

*&*#!#$^%$^

Aimee couldn't hold her composure for very long. As soon as we made it into downtown, her walls fell, and she began crying. She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head back and forth, muttering about how she messed up her whole life. I pulled around the back side of the lake and parked my car. I was nervous as I took off my seatbelt, but once I reached over to rub her back, I think we both felt better.

"I'm sorry," she wiped her face with the back of her hand, smearing her foundation I had put on earlier. "I just... I feel so lost. I don't know what I am doing."

"You're saving yourself," I said calmly, brushing her hair off the sticky side of her neck. "There's nothing wrong with making the right choice, no matter what you leave behind."

"But I don't have anything," she sniffled. "I'm stupid and I threw it all away, like she said. I don't have a dad, I don't have a mom, I don't have a boyfriend, he made me sell my car, made me move out of my mom's house when we got back together, I don't have any money, and I'm barely making it at my job with all the rumors and crap going on... He used to be so nice. It wasn't until we got back together, after I broke up with him then later asked him to be back together... that he turned sour. He made it out to be, be owing him for getting back together. It got insane."

"I know it's hard," I frowned, continuing to comfort, "but... at least you don't have to live through that anymore. At least you're able to walk away. Some women aren't that lucky."

"It just got worse and worse," she sobbed. "After we got back together, it began with little things. Asking became demands, demands became shouts, shouts became threats, threats became pushing, and... pushing became this. He wouldn't let me have any friends besides Anna at work. He drove me every where. He made me give him my paychecks. He bought every thing I needed. He said it was him 'taking care of me', that I didn't 'need anyone else but him', that'd he'd 'make sure of it'."

"Aimee, I'm proud of you for leaving him."

She pressed her forehead to my dashboard, "and here I am, with you, and you don't even know me. Besides Anna, Edward's the only friend I have and I'm making his life complicated and I didn't want to do that. You guys have all this new stuff, a new baby, new house and I'm in the middle, causing you problems and wrecking everything and that was never, ever my intention and if I had any other place I could go, I would go-"

"Stop," I said sharply.

She sniffled, her hands shaking as she wiped her nose.

I pulled her off of the dash and made her look at me. She was only four years younger than me. Beautifully bruised, and I didn't know if I hated her for being that way, or hated myself for never giving her a chance. It wasn't fair for me to dislike her just because she was my husband's ex, or his friend, or because she had a vagina and talked to him. She needed help. She didn't have anyone.

"Come on," I said, handing her a napkin from my glove box. "We're going to stop by Dairy Queen and get some strawberry milkshakes, and then we'll go back to my house, talk to Tommy and Edward, and see what we can figure out. Okay? You're safe, no more Dale, no more Shelly, no more anything. You'll make it work. You're strong, do you understand? They're not going to tear you down anymore."

She nodded slowly, but her face was still hopeless. She wasn't convinced. I'd make her convinced. I had to. I was sick and tired of letting idiotic people walk all over others whenever they felt like it.

It needed to stop.

JakePOV

I leaned back in my chair, staring at the clock on the wall. I hated being at work. There was no where I wanted to be more than home, now that I had Rosalie in my life.

All I ever thought about was her, and that just sickened me. A year and a half ago, I would have laughed at someone like me. Sure, I had a crush on her, always had. My infatuation with Bella began to wane when I was a junior, she a senior. That's when my friendship with Rosalie grew a bit more. Now, I wasn't one of those love-sick pups that followed the girl around. No, I had my own thing going, dated, had girlfriends. But I never did shake my feelings for her. They only intensified. And now that I had her, she consumed me.

We spent the past few days shacking up, me calling out of work. I didn't want to be here. I just wanted to be in bed with my girl, watching stupid idiotic movies and ordering delivery and nothing else. She made me feel more important than anyone or anything else.

And I love my job, even now. But it comes in second place to her. Everything does.

Because she has the best timing, the receptionist buzzed me, telling me she was on the phone. Marie knew that when Rosalie called, I didn't care what I was doing, I was taking that call.

"Hey," I said, twirling my pen between my fingers, "how was your nap?"

"Mmm fine," she replied sleepily. "Wish you were here to share it with me."

"I wish I was there too. I'll be home soon though, only a few more hours."

"Mmm, how's work?"

"Work is...," I looked around the room, trying to sound enthusiastic, "...really good. My chain went up today, so that's good. Impressed the suits."

"Good, J. That's really good," she yawned. "What do you want for supper tonight? Anything you want, you're pick."

"My pick?"

"All yours."

"Mmm, I would like... those pork chops in the freezer, baked like that last time you made them, because they were really good. And maybe some corn on the cob, potatoes, and possibly some cunilingus for dessert."

She giggled, and I listened as she stirred in the bed. My bed. Probably naked. Damn my life. "That can be arranged, if that's what you want."

"It is."

"Okay. J?"

"Yeah?"

"When... you get home tonight, there's... something I'd like to speak with you about."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's good. I just... Um... What time do you think you're going to be here?"

"Four, maybe five at the latest."

"Okay... I'll have dinner ready by four-thirty then."

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I don't want to talk about it on the phone. It can wait, trust me."

"Is it something serious?"

"Uh... I miss you."

I noticed that she was changing the subject, but she was obviously in one of her stubborn moods, and I could tell I wasn't going to shake her out of it. "I miss you too," I exhaled, before murmuring, "God, I sound like a fucking idiot."

"You do sound like a fucking idiot," my friend Colton entered, dropping in my chair. "Who you talking to, your whore of the month?"

I threw my pen at him and turned my chair around to face my bookshelf. "I gotta go, there seems to be a cockroach crawling across my other chair."

"Ew," she giggled.

"Yeah. I'll call you later, on my way home."

"Please do. Tell Colton I say hey."

I grinned, "You got it. Bye babe."

"Bye."

Once I hung up, I glared over at my buzz of a friend, "What?"

"I'm bored. Our team got pulled for the moment, so it looks like we're lingering until word comes out for us to get back down there and start hollering at the big screen again in the crowd full of people shouting the same thing."

"That's our life."

"It is a sad life."

"It is," I agreed. "But we chose it-"

"I chose it because it makes me rich," he replied. "You chose it because you want to be the best at everything."

"Doesn't everybody?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm fine just where I'm at."

I stretched out my arms, before dropping them on the arm rests and swiveling in my chair, "How's the single life?"

Colton shrugged, pursing his lips, "I got no complaints. Know Andrea, in booking?"

"Yes... Brunette, big smile."

He grinned mischievously.

I cocked my head, my mouth agape. "She's a good girl! She's been here, what, two weeks?"

"I like to break 'em in."

"You are a bastard."

"In every classic movie or book, there's the hero, and the villain. I don't mind being the devil in the red dress."

I sighed, blowing air through my lips to make them vibrate, "I gotta get out of here. If we're not doing anything, I'm going to go home early. Surprise my girl or something. This is shit."

"We may do something in an hour. You know how stock markets work."

"I don't want to be here today," I whined.

"Get over it," he mock-whined back. "Come on. We'll go grab a sandwich, sneak in a few beers. Be all relaxed to holler out our numbers when we get back."

I glared at him, before standing up and grabbing my wallet. "All of it's on you."

"Fine but you drive."

"Don't I always?" I scoffed at him. "You never want to waste your gas."

"You get better mileage than I do."

EmmettPOV

I woke up late today, after one. Alice was in the kitchen, fully dressed, face bright, making a homemade pizza.

I got excited when I saw her, like I normally would. But then I saw a bunch of new, folded, cardboard boxes leaning against my front door, and reality came crashing back to me. It wasn't a dream. She was really moving out.

I wanted to turn around and go back to bed, praying that God would slow shit down for me so I could catch my breath. But Alice saw me enter, and I knew she'd chase me down the hall and climb in my bed with me if I didn't come out and talk to her. It was bad enough I avoided her all last night.

And it didn't change shit. Like I said. She was still moving out.

I was going to be one friend less. Again.

I dropped against the counter, smelling the delicious sweet, tomato sauce. I loved her sauce. It was one of the best kept secrets.

"Hey," she said softly, tucking the hair behind her right ear, "how did you sleep?"

"Like hell."

She frowned, slumping her shoulders as she placed the pepperoni over the first layer of cheese, "I'm sorry, Emmybear. I wish there was something I could do..."

"You can. Stay."

"You know I can't."

"I want you to. You're... my best girl, you know? You're my friend and my sister and my mother and my therapist and my roommate and everything else in between. Who could replace that?"

"You won't have any trouble replacing me, believe me."

"You're really dumb if you think that," I scoffed, shaking my head.

Her phone began spinning on the counter, vibrating and buzzing. She sighed, looking at the screen, then dropping it.

"Edward again?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "Still sends a text a day. Tells me he misses me, asks me how I'm doing. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"You should consider responding to him. He needs to know that you're about to leave."

"I've already left, where he's concerned."

"To you maybe," I argued. "He misses you, Alice. I miss you, and you ain't even fucking gone yet."

She nodded, not looking at me, sprinkling cheese through her fingers, the second layer. "It's going to be really hard. We just have to be grown-ups here, accept the fate of the world, let the pieces fall where they may. We all need some individuality."

"Everyone needs friends, Alice."

"I'll always be your guys' friend-"

"You're not even talking to Edward. How can you say you're his friend?"

"Trust me. Not talking to him keeps me his friend. He knows I'm there when he really needs me."

"And me?"

She sighed, adding the mushrooms next, "You're my bishop, my knight, my rook. You're necessary in my life, the biggest pieces. That's never going to change, just because I move away. You can come visit me... anytime you want."

"It won't be the same," I shook my head, rubbing my eyes as I rest my elbows on the countertop, "you know it won't. It'll all change now. People are growing, things are fucking crazy. We'll never be this close again."

"Don't say that."

"It's true," I exhaled. It made me sad, thinking about how quick shit does change. If I didn't have the responsibility of Alyssa, I'd be half-tempted to just pack my shit and move away with her. At least I'd have something solid to hold on to, something I knew.

Her hand fell on my forearm, tiny and chilly, manicured fingernails, cheese grain on her palm, "Emmett. You mean a lot to me. I just... I have to be more healthy, more motivated, for myself."

"I know that," I frowned. "But I don't understand why you can't do that here."

"I need a fresh outlook."

"And I need my friends. Edward's got this baby, and you're doing this shit. We're all lost, we're all doing new things. Why can't we just stay and support each other, like we always have."

"Nothing ever stays the same forever, Emmett."

I growled and pushed myself off the chair, turning down the hallway. "I don't want to hear that. That's just an excuse for people to use when they're too stubborn to try and make shit work."

Alice ran around me, cutting me off in the doorway of my bedroom. "Wait. Please. Don't... shut me out because of this."

"I'm angry," I half-barked at her, "and I'm trying not to take it out on you. So stop getting in my way and making this harder on me."

"No!" she shouted, standing her ground, knuckles on hips. "I'd rather be yelled at than ignored by you, Emmett. I need you to tell me how you're feeling. It's not healthy, keeping this all in."

"You wanna know how I'm feeling?"

"Yes!"

"I. Want. You. To. Stay."

She slumped her shoulders, looking up at me. "Tell me why. Tell me why it is so important that I stay here in Seattle."

"You can mend your friendship with Edward. You can get to know my daughter. We can stay close. You can learn to not run away from your problems..." I offered, waving my hand, asking silently if she wanted me to continue.

"I don't think you want me to stay with you, Emmett," she whispered softly, wiping her palms on her jeans. "I just... think you don't want to be alone. You. Me. Edward. None of us like to be alone. But the thing is... moving away isn't running away from my problems, because being alone is one of my problems, and... I'm facing that. I have to go..."

I pushed past her, forcing her to the side, "It sounds a hell of a lot like running to me."

*&*#!#$^%$^

Colleen called me shortly after. Said if I liked, she could be on her way over, so I could see Alyssa.

I wanted to see her, but I was bummed over the whole Alice ordeal. I didn't know if I could focus. But I didn't want to push them away either, so I agreed.

I drug my feet back down the hallway to find Alice on the chair in the living room, bubble wrap in her lap, knick-knacks at her side. "Colleen's coming over with Alyssa," I sighed heavily. "Can you please pack later?"

"Sure," she said, wrapping a final piece, before standing up and placing it in the box. "Anything for you."

"Obviously not," I snapped, still bitter and pissed off. I knew she ignored me on purpose. "When did you figure out that you wanted to go to New York?"

"I've been planning this out for about two and a half months now... Known for a bit longer that it was an option."

"And you never told me," I scoffed. I went into the kitchen and pulled out a Gatorade. "Will you at least think about postponing this ridiculous move? Cut me some slack, hang out for a few more weeks?"

"I can't. I have interviews set up. I have to move the business, meet the contractors. Besides, it wouldn't make it any easier. The day would still come."

"Alice, why can't you just give me a break? I'm really trying to hold on here."

"And so am I. But you have to understand that no one is going to change my mind."

I twisted off the cap and tossed it on the counter. "The Alice I know is fearless. She'd stay and fight."

"The Alice you knew didn't have a life without you and Edward over-shadowing it all."

"Oh, is that all you think I was good for? Over-shadowing you? Just protecting you?"

"It was something easy for the two of you."

"You protected us too, Alice! We needed you, just as much!"

"Exactly!" she stomped, glaring at me. "We all needed each other when we were at unhealthy points in our lives. This isn't good for us, to keep this up!"

"Stop making the choice for everyone! You ended your friendship with Edward when he didn't want to let go. You ended your relationship with Jasper when he asked you to hang on. And now you're ending us when I'm asking you to stay. Don't fucking tell me you're not running, Alice, because you are! You're running."

"I'm growing!" she yelled back. "I'm... growing."

"You're running."

She put her hands on her hips and tightened her jaw, her eyes boring into mine. "Do you see me running now? Do you see me storming off to my room, throwing this argument out the window? No. I'm standing here and I'm fighting with you, because obviously you need this for some reason."

"I just need you! I need my friends! What else do I have?"

"A daughter?" she offered blatantly.

"I need someone who knows me, the ins and outs of me. I need that support, that reassurance. Especially now."

"You build friendships and trust by letting people in, Emmett. There's plenty of people out there. Stop locking doors on them!"

"I want you! Why is this so hard to grasp?! I want you here. I want us to stay friends. I want that to not fucking change."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest, frowning sadly at me. "You... have to let me go, Emmett. Just as I had to let Edward go."

I dropped my head back, glaring up at my kitchen ceiling. "That is such bullshit. If you really let Edward go, why has he sent you a text message every single day since he became 'unrecyleable' to you? Why haven't you written him back, at least to tell him to leave you alone, and let you grow, and let you be, just like you're asking me? Because you want him to care. You want him around, if only on text. You're just as scared of change as the rest of us. The only problem is, he and I are still fighting for you, and with you, and about you, and... and you're giving up on us."

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, sniffling quietly.

I was beyond irritated. "So, again. Don't fucking tell me that you'll always be here for us, Alice. Because you're not even fucking here now. You're... you're all ready gone."

EdwardPOV

I was laying on the couch, holding Masen on my stomach, when Bella and Aimee came home. "There you are," I exhaled, raising an eyebrow. "Why are your phones turned off? I tried calling you six times, Bella. And couldn't get through on Aimee's either. I was worried half to death."

"Sorry baby," Bella kissed my forehead, "we were handling some business."

Aimee entered slowly, quiet as a mouse, and sat on the corner of the couch, her bags in her hand still.

"Aimee, make yourself a home for now," I said while Bella stole my son from my hands. "Relax. Tommy doesn't leave patrol until after four."

She smiled sheepishly at me, before grinning bigger at Masen, who was looking at her from his mamma's arms.

"He's hungry," Bella exhaled. "You two chat. I'm going upstairs to take care of him."

My stomach rolled as I looked up at her. "Are... you sure?"

She smiled genuinely. "Absolutely." She gave me a few kisses before she went up the stairs.

I exhaled and sat up, fixing my shirt.

Aimee looked to the floor, "I... owe you an apology, Edward. For snapping the way I did yesterday. It wasn't fair for me to blindside you with guilt."

"It's all right," I exhaled, shrugging my shoulders. "I shouldn't have let the joke go on, I shouldn't have shared our information, our situation, with anyone. I broke a promise to you, a few of them. I'm very sorry as well."

She sighed. "It's okay. I have bigger issues than that now. Let's just put it behind us."

"Alright," I said simply, offering a smile.

"So... still friends?" she offered with a shrug.

I smirked and stood up. "You wouldn't be in my house if we weren't. Come on. Let's get a drink and go on the patio, talk about what you're going to do about you."

She followed me outside, and I let the dogs out with us. Spendor, of course being Spendor, started growling and barking at her, but I shooed him away. Cora sauntered around the pool and laid on the patio, beneath a shade tree. Spendor ran off.

Aimee and I sat in the seats beneath the umbrella, looking out toward the lake.

"So," I exhaled, rubbing my neck. "I'm not going to ask you for details because, frankly, it will piss me off. All I want to know is that you're not putting yourself through that ever again."

"I'm not."

"Good. It's not right and you're better than that."

"I know," she replied quietly. "On the way home, Bella put a lot into perspective for me. She... told me a few things about herself. She's strong, Edward."

"She is, and you are too. I want you to be smart."

"I know. I will be, I just... I have to figure out where to go from here."

"Stay at work, get some money saved up. Don't stress too much. You have friends who will help you."

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, "I just don't want to be an inconvenience for anyone."

"The only time you'll be an inconvenience is when you're doing stupid shit, or letting other people do stupid shit to you."

She nodded slowly, "Okay."

"Me included, all right? Don't apologize for putting me in my place the other day. I deserved it. I know we're letting it go, but I'm just saying. Don't let anyone get you down anymore."

"Okay," she said again. I'd only seen her this timid a few times since we met.

"Alright," I slapped my legs, sitting up straight, "tell me how it went with Miss Bitch earlier. She actually let you inside her house?"

Aimee scoffed. "Yeah. She was nice to Bella, but she still hates me. Her boyfriend Jeff -- I don't think she was with him when you were over there -- but he hates me even more than she does. Thankfully we left before he got there."

"Don't let her get you down. She'll never change. She's probably in need of another bottle of vodka."

"Probably. I smelled it on her when we went inside."

I rolled my eyes, breathing out my annoyance. "Go figure."

Aimee and I discussed her options for about an hour before Bella joined us. She sat on my lap, running her fingers through my hair, "Masen's asleep. And you need a haircut."

"I know. I'll get it soon enough. I'm thinking of shaving my head."

"No! Don't do that," she almost screamed. She smiled wickedly before leaning to my ear so Aimee didn't hear, "I won't have anything to tug on if you do that."

I tried not to smirk, but I couldn't help it. She was the best at making me feel desired. "Maybe I'll just get a trim."

She kissed my cheek, whispering "good boy," before sitting up again. "So, Aimee. I'm cooking my famous top-secret tacos. Wanna come inside and we'll chat some more?"

Aimee smiled. "That'd be wonderful. I'd love to help."

"Come on," Bella giggled, moving into the house. I watched them both walk away, and exhaled. This was much smoother than I had imagined.

I felt like I was living in the Twilight Zone, but still... it was going well.

*&*#!#$^%$^

My mother Esme surprised us by swinging by for dinner. I guessed Bella invited her.

I didn't mind, but my nerves came back as quickly as they had vanished earlier. My mom knew about Aimee, so this could get interesting. I would simply explain to her that we were helping a friend, and Bella was just as much a part of this process as I was, if not more so.

She gave me a long hug when I opened the door for her, dressed in simple jeans and a nice shirt. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her in jeans. It was years ago, at least. "Hey Mama," I smiled, rubbing her back as I closed the door. "You look... cozy."

"Thanks." She rubbed my cheek and smiled, "You need to shave baby. Scruff is getting visible."

"I have the day off."

"Ohhh," she grinned with a nod. "Smells good in here."

"Bella's cooking, so of course it does."

Esme threw her arm around my waist and we walked toward the kitchen. Before we got there, she suddenly stopped, and looked up at me. There was something in her eyes, a longing, a mystery of some sort. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"You all right?" I asked her, my stomach twisting in knots.

She smiled graciously and nodded, "Let's go for a walk."

"Alright..." We skipped the kitchen and went to the back door, heading toward the dock. "What's up?"

She sighed as we walked along the planks of wood, the water rippling beneath it in a steady movement. "I have something I've needed to tell you, but I didn't want to ruin the newness of Masen's arrival. It's serious, Edward."

"What is it?" We stopped at the edge of the dock, and I turned to face her, unable to hide my worry. "Mom? What is it?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself as she looked into my eyes. Our eyes were the exact same color, same intensity.

I exhaled slowly, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Tell me."

"I need you to be sensible about this."

"Then tell me."

She studied my expression, trying to read me, see what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking about anything but panic. What on earth would she have hidden from me that would 'ruin' Masen's arrival?

I couldn't stop jittering. "Mom," I growled. "Stop with this. You know I'm the most impatient fucking person on the planet. What is it?"

She bit her lip and exhaled slowly. "I left your father, Edward."

I stared at her, blinking slowly. "What?"

"Three weeks ago," she nodded nervously.

I took a step back, shaking my head slowly. "W-Why?"

She swallowed. "I've been lying to you, to everyone... but mostly myself, for years on end. It wasn't working. It hadn't been for... quite a long time now."

"What do you mean, it wasn't working? That's what marriage is; work. You have to work to make it work."

She shook her head slowly. "I worked enough for the both of us in that marriage. Trust me. I'm not the one you should be lecturing about work."

"What happened?" I growled, despite myself. I was trying to be understanding, but I just didn't get it. "Why? Why would you do that? What did he do?"

She ran her fingers through her wavy coppery locks, and steadied her eyes on mine. "I need you to be an adult about this, if I'm going to explain it to you."

"I am an adult."

"Alright," she sighed calmly, trusting that I could handle whatever she was about to throw my way. I was already assuming the worst. "I... almost... had an affair."

My eyes widened as my mouth dropped open. I couldn't even get a word out. My mother was the most faithful, loving person I had ever known. She was my role model when it came to relationships, when it came to her effort and loyalty. And her she was telling me she almost had an affair. "What do you mean, almost?! What the fuck does that mean?!"

She massaged her temples as my heart beat out of my chest. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was so fucking angry, and disgusted, and confused. This was a nightmare.

"How can someone expect a relationship to work when there's only one person involved in it," she began softly. "How could it survive? For years, I let your father ignore you and me, let him do his own thing. His priorities were always backwards. Everything else came first; his work, his career, his plans, his retirement goals. I allowed it because I had gotten pregnant at the age of sixteen, and he always took care of me. I kept telling myself, one day it'd get easier. One day he'd come back to me, and we'd be a family. We made it this far, just one more day, just one more day... But..."

She shivered, shaking her head slowly. "One day turned into one week, and then a month, and then a year, and then two decades. Nothing ever changed. Nothing ever got better. I never had any personal attention from your father, unless it was convenient for him. By the time I was twenty-seven, I was going to school for myself, getting my own degree, with my own money. And raising you. I struggled to find a routine, to make sure you always knew you were loved and needed. Even when I was at school, your father didn't show any more interest in you than he did before. In his mind, he felt by working, that he was showing you love. But it didn't work that way, and I allowed it for far too long."

I tried to speak, but she held up her hand, stopping me. "Eventually, that type of love he showed for you, he showed toward me too. I tried to make it as easy for him as possible. I knew the demands of his job. I kept everything nice, did it all myself, tried to keep your head above water, and all the bills and everything in order. But I never once, once felt appreciated. Sure, there were roses sent on anniversaries. Roses and cards, but no hugs, no love. Not until days later when he found the time or someone reminded him. And frankly, I... just grew exhausted of that type of marriage. It wasn't what I signed up for. I signed up for him, for you. For working for a better life and earning that life. But all I earned was time alone."

"Why didn't you tell him?" I asked hastily, storming toward her. "Why couldn't you open your mouth, stop making it easy on him! Why couldn't you fucking tell him you wanted more, that you needed more?!"

"I did. He promised he'd do better, and maybe he would for an hour, or if I was lucky, a full day or two. But he always fell back into the same meaningless routine. He married his job, Edward. Not me. He chose that over us, every single time."

"Don't you understand what marriage is though?!" I spat. "Marriage doesn't have divorce. Divorce doesn't fucking exist. Marriage is for better or worse, it's for life, it's for -"

"No, baby. I cannot sacrifice my soul, by being polite to your father. I've wasted too many years being kind to him, giving him whatever he wanted. I loved him so much, for more than half my life. I loved him, through all of this. It wasn't until a year ago that I started to wake up and realize how much I was missing. Just a couple of months before you and Bella got back together. I woke up one day, went into the bathroom to get ready for work, and I couldn't even stand to see my own reflection. I was... just a blob, just a faded blur in the mirror. And I realized that, in two seconds there in the bathroom, I was seeing myself how he saw me, for years. It hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of me. I was drained. Just like that, everything I knew flipped upside down, broke open, and was never going be the same again. I was the glue in that marriage. I was the standing piece, and the glue, and... I couldn't do it anymore."

I growled, squatting down so I could put my elbows on my knees. I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip my hair out. This was what I got for saying that everything was going well. It never fucking goes well. This was a sick fucking game.

"Edward, I know you're angry with mee. But please, try to understand that I did try. I tried and struggled and begged and pleaded and everything I could do. But I can't make your father fight for something that he has no interest in."

I watched as tears of anger and hurt fell onto the brown wood, splattering against my shoe, the edge of my jeans. "Tell me about the affair, Mother. What the fuck did you do?"

She knelt down beside me and raised my chin like I was two years old, forcing me to look at her. "I... found someone who was willing to give me everything that I was missing. It was simple, so easy. We never did anything that could be frowned upon. We just... got to know each other. He was constantly there for me. He was constantly complimenting me, and showering me with affection and comfort. He never once stepped over the line with me. He knew I was married, knew my values... But occasionally, we'd have drinks. Your father, he didn't care what I did obviously. He knew I went out. I would go with my partners, and hours would pass, it'd always be me and him... Five weeks ago... it became too much."

"How?"

"A person can only take so much kindness before they begin to second-guess everything they thought they knew. I knew I was unhappy. But I had almost accepted that fate, until I realized... just how happy someone else could make me. I was feeling emotions I hadn't felt since I was sixteen. The butterflies, the anxiety, the nerves, the newness... I looked forward to going to work, and I dreaded going home. Alec and I, we had drinks with friends as normal, and when it came to just me and him... I was so lonely. I was so disgusted with myself, with my life. I love you, of course. I'll always love you more than myself or anything else. But... I knew I needed to see if this part of me would stay, or if it was just a phase. So, I suggested that we make a night out of it. Give it a shot."

I scoffed, glaring at her. "You suggested it?!"

"Yes. We... got a hotel room. We drank wine while we talked on the balcony. There was no tension. We almost made love and I wanted to. But, it would go against everything I stood for. I made the mistake in crossing the line and kissing Alec that night, let him hold me romantically. I knew if I let it continue, it'd become a quick habit, and I couldn't lie to Carlisle. Even though he had pretty much abandoned me the moment I became pregnant with you. I was better than what I'd almost become that night. So, I put on my jacket, grabbed my purse, gave my apologies, and I went home. Carlisle worked a double, didn't come home for almost two days after that. I told him immediately. How I was feeling, what he did to me, what I almost did. Everything. I didn't lash out. I stayed calm, just as I am with you. I was simply... broken. And do you know what he did?"

"He blew up at you?"

She shook her head, frowning. "No. After I said everything, told him I wanted him to do the things Alec did for me but I didn't think he did, he said, 'okay'. He blinked, walked over to me, took off his wedding ring, shoved it into my palm, nodded his head once, and calmly said... 'Okay, Esme'. Then he just walked away."

I covered my mouth, felt the salt water streaming from my eyes, over my fingers. My heart was turning in every direction, my stomach flipping. I felt like I had been stabbed.

I couldn't imagine walking away from Bella. Even in high school, when we broke up. She had to force me to let her go, but... I didn't. I never could. That was the reason my life had spiraled out of control, why I had fallen so far into the dark. I tried desperately to make my heart walk away from her, but it never would. The thought of it disgusted me. I may not have been able to hold her hand for four years, but that didn't mean that I didn't share her pain, that she wasn't with me.

I was angry at my mother. But I was downright pissed off and disgusted with Carlisle. I knew growing up that he wasn't there, which is why I was so amazingly close to my mother, why it had always felt like it was her and me against the world. And now he made her do this. Now, she chose to do this, because he made her. My mind churned, whirled around. I was beyond upset and hurt. I wanted to pass out.

"Edward," she sighed, crawling over to me, across the wooden deck, and cradled my face. "This has nothing to do with you. Alright? You... are the best thing in my entire life. Not a second goes by where I love you any less than I love the moon or the stars. You will always be my baby, even when your eighty and grey. You will always be my everything, the best thing to ever happen in my life. I'm so sorry that this has broken you, but you have to understand, I've never regretted you. I've never been angry with you. This is between your father and I, not you. Do you understand?"

I shook my head, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "I can't help but think that maybe your lives would have been different if you hadn't had me. Better. Mayb-"

"Edward!" she shouted angrily, jerking my face by my jaw. "Don't you dare say that! Ever! No. Think of that baby inside your house. He's yours, and you loved him before he was even breathing. You loved him, no matter what. Can you imagine what your life would be like now, without him?! If you had chosen to not have him??"

I shook my head quickly.

"Exactly! That's how I feel about you. That's how I've always felt. A mother's love, a parent's love. That should be unconditional and irreplaceable. That person, that child... they are everything. You are everything to me, just as he is everything to you! If nothing else, you are the something wonderful that came from these past two decades. Because of you, I will never regret being with your father, trying as hard as I did. This is your chance to get it right! To be what your father could not be, was never capable of being. You can spread your love evenly between that beautiful son of yours, and your wife. Because neither of them should come before the other, Edward. They are both of equal importance. If it came down to it, you either push the both of them, side by side, in front of you, so they get whatever they need before you. Or you put the both of them, side by side, behind you, and you shield and protect them with your own body. Do you understand me?"

I buried my face in her shoulder as she hugged me. Not as a twenty-three year old man, but as the little four year old boy who fell and scraped his knee while running to the tire swing. "Yes."

"You hold them, and you love them, and you admire them every single day," she sobbed, running her fingers through my hair. "You make them believe that there is magic left in the world. That there are words like dreams and destiny. You make them believe that there is a God, and He is good, and He will do unto you as you to Him. You make them believe that your family is your life, and that they are worth fighting for, until the end of time. That you would take a bullet for them without a single thought, and that you wouldn't regret it for a single moment."

I nodded quickly, squeezing the back of her shirt, "I will."

"You tell that girl in there that she made you understand the meaning of life from the moment you met her. Tell her... that you weren't born on June 20th, 1986. No. You were born the moment that she walked into your life. You tell her that you took that first true breath the moment she kissed you. That she is your universe. She is what made that little boy in there, who holds that other half of your heart that she doesn't. All of you together, you three are a family. You three can make it right. You can make it all right, Edward. Will you do that?" Her eyes pled desperately with me.

"Promise me, Edward. Promise me that I raised you well enough to understand that there is true love out there. It is rare, but you found it. You have to grasp it with both hands."

"I promise."

"Never, ever give up on that dream. Never give up on your faith in each other. You're better than this, what I've become, what Carlisle and your friends have become. You're smarter and wiser and you can do anything you put your mind to. You're strong. I know having this family is what you want the most. Live your life to the fullest and work your ass off at your job. Be the very best doctor if that's what you want. But desire your wife and your son, and any future kids you'll have together. Love them first. Before your job, before yourself even. Be the magic that you want them to believe in. Provide that faith, that hope. Every single second."

I squeezed her tighter, shaking my head.

"Promise, baby."

"I promise."

"Okay," she exhaled, burying her face in my shoulder. I may have grown taller than her. I may be stronger than her now. But she still held me like she did back then. The only difference was that I could hold her back. Be there for her, even though we were both hurting.

I was still angry, and still confused. I wished that my father had woken up decades ago. But wishing didn't change things. People changed things. And he apparently didn't want to make it right.

We stayed out on the dock for a while longer, until we'd both calmed down and our tears dried. We were mostly silent, as she held my hand, and we watched the water ripple gently.

All I could think about, over and over again, was how much I wanted my wife, needed her with me to feel whole. How much I'll love her, even hundreds of years from now.

I was definitely not like my father.

*&*#!#$^%$^

Dinner went smoothly. Mom stayed. Aimee was more comfortable than she was earlier, and between Bella, Tommy, and his mother Vanessa, the conversation remained light.

I didn't eat much. I sat beside Bella, held her hand beneath the table, spun her wedding ring around her finger. I let that ring ground me, keep me from swaying. I let it remind me that I was better than Carlisle. Bella knew something was off with me, but she didn't ask me in front of anyone. She waited until we were alone.

I'd suggested my mother stay over. Renee had left earlier that day, gone to the apartment she'd been renting. After a quick discussion with Bella, I explained I was too tired to deal with moving Aimee to a hotel, even if we paid for it. I just wanted everyone to be comfortable, and I didn't want Bella to worry about Dale tracking down Aimee, which she said she was. So we put Aimee up in a spare room (after she stopped arguing about staying over again), and my mother in the other. I kept my composure until every one was settled in for the night, including my beautiful son, sleeping peacefully beside me on my bed.

Bella crawled in behind me and pressed her chest to my back, the feeling of her calming my breath. I had my palm gently on my son's chest as well. Their heart beats were what made me feel better.

"My mom left my father," I whispered, shaking my head slowly.

"I know."

"She told me that she told Renee, and I figured Renee told you."

"I was going to tell you, Edward."

"I'm glad you didn't," I replied softly. "I needed to hear it from her."

She kissed me between my shoulders pressing her face into my shoulder blade. Her voice was so beautiful, even with a tinge of sadness in it. "Is there anything I can do for you, baby?"

"You're doing everything I need," I whispered. "You're here. That's enough for me."

"I'll always be here for you, Edward."

"I know. I love you for that. Even more than I have every day before."

She sighed, kissing my ear, and the side of my cheek where she could reach, "We'll make it through this. It's just another stepping stone. But we'll... walk together."

"Please... promise me, if ever there comes a time when things change for you... if you become unhappy with me, for any reason... I want you to tell me, Bella, so that I can fix it immediately, and make it right. I know marriage is a long commitment. I know it's hard work, that things are going to come up, but... I cannot imagine having this life for a single second without you in it. You are my best friend."

"I will Edward. I promise."

I heard her words but knew my wife better than that. If it meant taking care of me or calming my stress, she'd lie to me about something as insignificant to her as her own feelings. That's how she was. Aimee asleep down the hall was proof enough of that, which is why I kept asking her if she was completely alright with it. I squeezed her hand in mine, holding the back of it over my heart. "No Bella. I mean it. Never ever let that shit slide. I can be an asshole and I'm the first to recognize. You know this. But I want you to swear right now that you'll call me on it every damn time it upsets you. I don't want you to be afraid to hurt my feelings. I'm not afraid to hurt yours, if something needs to be said. Please do the same. I want you to tell me that you'll always be truthful."

She sniffed and kissed my shoulder again, before squeezing me tight to her chest. "I swear I will tell you."

I nodded slowly, knowing that was the only way I'd make it. With her. With Masen.

Your life is not your father's, Edward, my mother's voice repeated in my head. You can make it right.

I would make it right.

JacobPOV

As Colton predicted, not only did our numbers pick up, but they skyrocketed.

By the time we'd returned from lunch, we were immediately swamped. The only time I caught a moment to breathe,was when I had to haul ass to the restroom to take a piss before my turn was up again.

We were facing one of biggest falls in a while and it came out of nowhere. I barely got a text in to Rose that I was going to be late.

In fact, I didn't get home until almost midnight.

Dinner was wrapped up in the fridge, place settings complete with candles still on the dining room table, untouched.

Even Caty was asleep for the night.

I dragged my sore ass up the steps and found Rosalie in a white nightgown, crashed out on her side of the bed.

A note left on my pillow read, 'Missed you tonight. Hope the dinner is good. I couldn't eat. That something important I wanted to discuss with you can wait until some other time. We have forever, ...right?'

Sighing, I jerked off my tie, pulled off my white button-down shirt, and unfastened the belt around my blue jeans, before I moved into the bathroom.

I felt like shit.

I had a great night at work, showed off in front of the bosses, but I still missed out on dinner with Rosalie, and that sucked.

I could tell she'd been looking forward to it.

I brushed my teeth and took a shower before climbing into the bed beside her. I didn't bother turning on the television, like I would most nights before bed.

All I wanted to do was wrap myself around her and listen to her sleeping, try to feel better.

Tomorrow was another day.

Four Days Later

AlicePOV

Sighing, I rolled over, and threw my arm around the warm body beside me.

I was leaving the next morning. I had a lot to do. No turning back now. Old Alice was almost completely gone.

"Are you awake?" I asked groggily, nuzzling up to the warmth.

"Mmhmm. I got to get up."

"Me too."

He pushed off the mattress and climbed to his knees, stroking along my face. "You were wonderful last night."

"So were you," I giggled. "Cheetos and movies... very romantic."

"Better than sex. It would only complicate... this. And we both know you're still leaving."

"True."

He stretched out his arms, showing a hint of his stomach, then dropped his hands to his lap, "Are you going to call Edward today?"

"Yes... I promised you I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah but I know you."

"You know a part of me," I corrected him. "I keep my promises."

He leaned down and pecked my lips. "So do I. I'm going to take a shower. Are you going to be here when I get back?"

I pouted my lips, "No. I actually think I'm going to visit Edward in person, be the strong woman and all. I think he's working, so I can swing by on my way to the UPS store."

He nodded, stroking my cheek one last time. "Alright... You'll call me before you leave though, right?"

"Yes."

"K."

He turned to walk toward the kitchen, and I climbed off of the bed after him. "Hey, J-Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

I walked over and stood on my tip-toes, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."

He gave that charming smile that used to melt me in a second. "I love you too. Be careful today. No stressing yourself out."

"I won't," I exhaled, gathering my shirt to change back into, since he let me sleep in the one he'd been wearing yesterday. I was grateful that he'd been so open-minded about my idea of spending the night together. We only kissed a few times. The majority was hugs and snuggles, movies and chips, and holding one another for that last time before I left.

I knew that things would be different when I came back. I didn't plan on living permanently in New York. But, if it came to that, it'd be okay. I didn't expect him, or Emmett, or Edward, or anyone else to sit around and wait for me to reenter their lives. I knew they'd all move on, and pieces of me would be forgotten. I had to accept that.

Jasper made a promise to me that we'd stay in touch, and I would hold him to his word. I didn't expect roses and chastity belts. We were not together. But, I wanted to still be a part of their lives, and I wanted them to still be a part of mine. I wanted us all to talk, to communicate, to keep each other posted. Not to vanish on each other.

Disappearing would not do any of us any good.

*&*#!#$^%$^

When I pulled into the parking lot of Seattle Hospital, my hands began to shake. I'd never felt so nervous before. I checked out my white frilly shirt with the wrap around belt and blue jeans and made sure my make up was in place. I wanted this to be a joyful reunion, and if this was the last time I'd see him for a while, I wanted to make sure I didn't look like a clown.

I held my breath walking to the doors. My entire body felt like sand. Any small gust would blow me away, dissolve my confidence. I had to stay calm. I smiled graciously to the passersby, made my way up to the maternity floor as quickly as possible. If I kept moving, I didn't have time to think about turning around.

I saw Edward in his bright green scrubs and white doctor's jacket, stethoscope hanging around his neck and multiple pens stuck in his breast pocket. He was sitting behind the nurses station in front of a computer beside a shinny, long-haired brunette who's name I always forgot. I noticed Aimee standing behind him, looking through a file cabinet for something. Just seeing her made my stomach curl. She was definitely the sweetest of his flings. Maybe that's why I didn't like her. Who knows? I didn't have time to care about her anymore, or anything related to her. I was here to say goodbye to someone I cared for deeply.

Edward pushed back into the chair and exhaled, tossing a stack of paperwork in front of him. He shoved his reading glasses on the top of his head and rubbed his eyes. When he reopened them, I was leaning against the counter, smiling down at him. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He looked around, seeing if I was with anyone. The girl beside him started to ask me if she could help me, but before she could get two words out, Edward popped out of the chair. "Hey. What are you doing here?!"

My smile grew wider as I shrugged nonchalantly. "I was around. Came to see how you were doing."

He cocked an eyebrow as a crooked grin spread across his face. "You came to see me?"

"Yes... Is this alright? I know you're at work-"

"Of course it is," he laughed, jogging around the station and pulling me into a hug. He smelled delicious, like spearmint and peppermint and spring weather combined. Just as I remembered. "Ohhh, I missed you."

I squeezed him tight, inhaled the comfort he brought me. I missed that the most. "I missed you too."

"You look great, Alice. You're so pretty."

Gripping his biceps, I pulled my upper body back from him so I could look in his green eyes. "Thank you. You look good too. I figured you'd have dark rings beneath your eyes, with the new baby and job and everything else in the new la vida Cullen."

"Yeah," he chuckled, rubbing my arms, "Bella pretty much lets me do nothing around the house when I get home now. Sleep, see my boy, and hang out with her. That's it."

We took a step back and freed ourselves from each other's grip, but our smiles stayed in place. "Do you have a few minutes?" I asked, looking around the halls. "Can you break away?"

"Of course I can," he smirked, before turning toward the reception. "Bree, Aims, tell Aubrey I'm taking my first, all right?"

"Sure Edward" and "Yes Doctor Cullen" fell from their lips simultaneously as he threw his arm around my shoulders and we walked toward the elevator. "God, it is so good to see you, Alice," he grinned. "I've missed the hell out of you."

"I know, it's been a while."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Too long."

Even though I was happy with our reunion, my stomach rolled around, proving to me that it wasn't going to be laughs and hugs in a few moments. I still had to tell him. And from the look of his beautiful smile as he held onto me in the elevator, I knew this was not going to go smoothly.

Grabbing my hand, he led me out of the building and down the hill, toward the lake behind the building. We dropped into the grass and stretched out our legs, like we'd done for the past two years, whenever I'd visit and bring him dinner. It was our spot.

He rubbed my back, shaking his head, smiling to himself. "I know I keep saying it, but... I really missed you. It's a great surprise, seeing you here today."

I put my head on his shoulder and gave him a side-hug. "I know. I'm sorry for... everything that's happened with you and me, this pas-"

"It's over," he shook his head. "We can move beyond it. I'm just..." He laughed, throwing his head back, his Adam's Apple bouncing in the sunlight. "God, this makes me feel better."

I chewed on my thumbnail and sat up straight, looking out at the lake. "Well, don't get too excited. It's... just me."

"Why wouldn't I get excited? Exactly, it's you, you know? I miss having you around. I saw the gift you left at our house for Masen's room. We put it up on his dresser, next to the intercom."

I smiled, remembering the silver picture frame with a glossed painting of the three of them from the day Masen was born. Renee took the picture and I borrowed the camera, sending it straight to my friend Thomas Jeffrey, who painted it for me. The sterling silver frame I purchased in the mall was decorated it with each of their birthstones, and I had it inscribed with the lyric, 'The one way that it was always meant to be...' along the bottom in old-style script letters.

"I thought it was funny that you picked Jimmy Eat World," he smirked. "That song... has a lot of meaning in it."

"Exactly. It was the song that I told you reminded me of you and Bella from the get-go. 'Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance, or only one way that it was always meant to be?' You, Bella, Masen... That's the right order, the right solution. I see that now. I always have," I exhaled with a shrug. "Even when I didn't want to, I still saw it."

He nodded, his emerald eyes glowing. "Things sure do have a way of surprising us all in the end."

"Definitely," I exhaled. "And... the surprises never stop."

"Never."

I turned to him, my heart clenching. I hoped he'd take my news smoothly. I hoped he wouldn't get upset with me, not now. He had too much in his life to worry about this. "Edward?"

He faced me and grinned, "Yes?"

I took a deep breath and tilted my head, smiling up at him. I adored him so much. "I have something I need to tell you. Another reason why I'm here."

"Okay," he chuckled. "What?"

Biting my lips, I prayed that God would make this okay. "I'm moving to New York City."

He dropped his head closer to me, his eyes filled with confusion. "What do you-"

"Tomorrow," I cut him off so I could get the rest out. "I'm... leaving tomorrow."

He turned away from me and dropped his forehead to his knees, closing his eyes. "This is not happening."

"I'm sorry."

"You've got to be kidding me, Alice," he exhaled breathlessly. "Just... knock it off. Tell me you're joking."

I shook my head slowly, my heart climbing up my throat. "I can't because I'm not."

Edward groaned and rubbed his forehead along his pants, back and forth, side to side. "Too much," he whispered. "Too, too much."

"What is?"

"Everything..." he exhaled. "My job, the move, the new house, Masen, Bella's testimony coming up... on top of dealing with other people's problems, Aimee's, mom and dad's, Emmett's... Now you, too?"

I climbed to my knees beside him and patted his back. "You don't have to deal with me though, Edward. That's what I'm saying! I'm leaving, I'm dealing with myself. I'm going to have a fresh start. I'm taking Brandon Mar'ee with me, the entire clothing line. Going to make some adjustments on that, too. New designs, new staff. I've all ready got myself an apartment. I mean... it's set. You don't have to worry about me."

He shook his head slowly and looked blankly across the water. "This isn't what I wanted, Alice. I don't want you to move away. I don't want us to stop being friends. For the love of God, Alice, you've been more than my family for our entire lives almost. For ten seconds, I watched you walk into my life again, and relief washed over me, that maybe this was proof that things could get easier for me. And then it all goes to hell again, because you're telling me that you're not here to rekindle our friendship. You're moving away."

"We'll always be friends," I whispered. "But I need this fresh start. We all do. Emmett is having a tough time with this, too. But, you two can be there for each other. You can help him with Alyssa and he can help you with Masen. You are both so intelligent and strong. You'll be fine on your own. And, I'm only a phone call away, and I can be here in a few hours, if something was to happen. You can come visit me anytime you want, bring the family. We can stay in touch."

"I can't tell you ten people I know from high school that I stay in touch with, besides Em, you, Bella, and Rose," he argued. "People move on, they change. Seasons come and go. Nothing ever stays the same."

"It can if we want it to."

"No," he shook his head, growling to himself. "I don't want you to leave, Alice."

I frowned. "It'll pass. It's what's best. I'm sorry I sprang this on you at work, but I was running out of time. I was scared to tell you."

"You should never be scared to talk to me. That's the whole point. Leaving will only distance us more."

I exhaled slowly and got to my feet, "I just wanted to say goodbye to you. Wanted to tell you that I loved you and I want nothing but wonderful thin-"

"Stop it," he shook his head. "Don't do this."

"…Wonderful things for you and your family," I continued. "And I want you to have no regrets in your life. I just want you to be happy, Edward."

He stood up beside me and dusted the grass from the back of his slacks. "Alice, please stay."

I crossed my arms over my chest and rounded my shoulders. "I'm going, Edward."

He looked up at the sky in defeat, exhaling heavily. "When's your flight?"

"Tomorrow, ten am."

"I'll take you. Say goodbye there."

"Emmett's taking me, you don't-"

"I'll go with him."

I bit my lip and nodded slowly. "Okay... if that's what you want to do."

Frowning, he grabbed my hand and jerked me to him, hugging me tightly. "I want you to be happy too, Alice, but I don't want you to leave us."

"This is the way for me to be happy. It's going to hurt like hell, and I know there's going to be days when I regret it, but... I know it will make me stronger. I need some clarity in my life too. No matter how close anyone is, we enter the world alone, and we leave it alone. We have our own paths to walk between those two days."

He put his chin to the top of my head and inhaled carefully. "I'll come by Emmett's around seven-thirty. Help you pack up."

"Most of my stuff was shipped two days ago. I only have my carry-on bag and a few others."

"I'll still be by, so we can spend some time together. Maybe grab breakfast." He sounded so sad. At least he wasn't fighting with me like Emmett was.

"That would be perfect," I whispered, fighting back tears. I had to get out of there before I really did lose my confidence. I sniffled and stood on my tip toes, giving him a kiss beside his mouth. "Love you. See you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, love you," he nodded slowly, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. "See you tomorrow."

I gave him a nod, pulled away, turned, and sped around the building. I didn't breathe again until I was safely in my car.

Half way home, I received a text from Edward that read, "I understand but that doesn't mean that I want you to go."

I sighed and closed my phone, staring at the red stop light above my car.

"I have to go," I reminded myself. "I'm going."

JasperPOV

While I was getting ready to go to the high school to register and fill out tax forms so that I could start work in a couple of months, I heard Colleen and Makin fighting in what had become their room.

Again.

Sighing, I zipped up my pants and opened my door, before looking around for Alyssa. She was on the floor in the living room with blocks and Barbies around her. Great combination. "Alyssa," I walked over to her and extended my hand, "why don't you come in my room and play with your Barbies? You can stick 'em in that helicopter you love so much."

"Tay," she agreed, tentatively taking my hand with her left and grabbing a handful of her half-naked dolls with her right.

I lifted her up on my bed, because it was too tall for her to ever manage by herself, and she dove for the bag of Cheetos Alice left on the nightstand. "Oooh, seetos! Tan I have some?"

"Sure," I opened it for her and tossed the clip on the bed, "knock yourself out."

She dug in and I pulled out a dress shirt from my closet. Something hit the wall and I heard Colleen gasp. I closed my eyes, praying Alyssa didn't get anxious. "Quit!" Collen shouted through the thin walls. "Makin, quit!" I turned toward the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't hear Makin. That made me nervous. "Makin! QUIT!"

"Alyssa," I said, brushing my finger through the back of her hair, "stay here, sweetie. I'll be right back."

Her eyes were wide but she gave me a nod, orange stain from the chips all over her lips and fingers already.

When I walked into the hallway, I heard Colleen whimper, "Makin, you're scaring me. What are you doing? Stop!"

I crossed the hall in one stride and immediately reached for the handle. It was locked. Damn it. I knocked on the door, "Makin? Let me in, man."

I heard something fall and break, and Colleen gasped again. I knew she was crying. They'd fought non-stop since he found out Emmett was Alyssa's father. Before that, there was the arguing, but now... it was worse.

"Makin?" I hollered, jiggling the doorknob. "Open the door. Now!"

"Dazz?"

"Everything's all right Alyssa," I called from the hall. "Stay where you are. Don't try to get off the bed, it's too high. You'll hurt yourself."

"Get out of my face," Colleen growled, and I heard something else break. "Makin!"

"Oh you're being such a slut, aren't you?" he growled drunkenly. He'd been drunk all week. Missed work.

"Stop! Let go of me! PLEASE!"

Taking a breath, I took a step back and kicked the door, watched a piece of the frame go flying. Another kick and the door busted open, and I saw Makin pinning Colleen up against the wall by his wide dresser, his forearm holding her by her chest so she couldn't move, his other hand pinned above her for more leverage. Her face was red, tears in her eyes. He looked possessed. Fucking out of his mind.

I crossed the room in four more strides and grabbed him by the back of his shirt with one hand, throwing my other arm around his shoulders, and jerked him back as hard as I could. He wouldn't let go of her so she came with him, and he stretched her shirt all to hell in the process. Colleen planted her feet and leaned back, and I heard sound of something ripping. She hit the wall behind her, her blue bra exposed as her shirt came off in Makin's hands.

I wrestled him to the ground and managed to twist and put my weight on him so he couldn't go anywhere. "Makin," I growled, pinning him by his shoulders, "Calm the FUCK DOWN!"

"She's a bitch!" he shouted drunkenly, tears in his own bloodshot eyes. "I can't fucking stand her anymore."

Colleen slid down the wall behind me, grasping at her throat, anxiety swarming her every breath.

"You don't ever fucking touch her like that!" I screamed at him. "You need to calm your ass down, or I swear, I will knock you the fuck out and call the cops!"

"She hit me first!" he screamed, pointing to a gash on his face. "That fucking bit-"

"I hit him because he wouldn't let go of my neck!"

"HEY!" I shouted when Makin tried to get up, "I swear to God, you better settle down, Makin. Colleen, go in my room. NOW. Alyssa's in there. Lock the door." Colleen was crying as she crawled over mine and Makin's legs, into and down the hallway. I listened for the audible click and as soon as I heard it, I grabbed Makin by his neck and stood his ass up in front of me. "You've got exactly two minutes to grab whatever the hell you need and get the fuck out of this apartment. You need to get a grip on reality, you stupid bastard. She didn't do shit to you besides love you. Why the fuck would you put your hands on her?!"

"I never hit her! I never fucking hit her!"

"You don't pin her in here against her will, dumbass! You don't fucking grab her by the throat! This is fucking confinement, what you just did! You can't force her to stay in here with you!"

"She was banging other guys when she got pregnant! And I know she's cheated on me! She's a whore!"

"You're drunk!"

"So what?!" he stumbled backward, looking like he could pass out. "People have to be fucking drunk to deal with all this bullshit. This is fucking idiocy. That's all this is. I found condom wrappers in this room today, in the trash can. I don't use fucking condoms. Se's on the pill. I work swing shift. She's fucking banging some other man, and if it ain't you, then it's somebody else! She's a whore! That's why she got knocked up on a one-night stand!"

"Enough!" I growled at him, getting in his face. "Leave. Now."

"Or is it you?" he tilted his head, his voice sing-song and slurred. "Were you fucking her in my room?"

"Get. Out," I warned. "I won't tell you again. I will physically remove you."

"Best friends since we were kids," he chuckled. "And you want to pick that tramp over me?! That tramp you've only known for a few years? The girl who's had countless men in her life, the girl who's run her game on all of us, made me fucking believe she changed and was worth my time and paycheck? What happened to loyalty around here? Does anyone believe in that shit?"

"Apparently not," I sneered, pushing him out of the broken doorway, into the living room. "Get out."

"This is my fucking apartment," he scoffed, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "My name is on this shit."

"Fine," I spat without flinching. "We'll be out of here tonight. You can come back tomorrow." The venom in my voice was unmistakable.

"Where in the hell are you going to go?" he laughed mockingly. "On this short of notice?"

"Anywhere but here, asshole. Move," I swung open the door and pushed him out.

"She'll fuck you over. She ain't foolin' nobody, Jasper. I would never fucking hurt that girl intentionally, you know me. But she slapped me and clawed at my face because I couldn't get a straight fucking answer from her when I asked her about the condoms. She's fucking crazy! You know I've never hit a girl, but I got pissed, what was I gonna do?"

"Sleep it off," I said as I slammed the door in his face and locked the deadbolt. I ignored his hollering and bitching until it faded away.

When I used my key and walked into my bedroom, I found Colleen laying in my bed, hugging her daughter while Alyssa munched on Cheetos. Alyssa seemed to be content and calm now that her mom was with her. Colleen had some marks on her arms and collar bone, but I didn't see much on her face aside from the red of her anger and tears. I sat on the edge of the bed and exhaled slowly, rubbing Colleen's calf through her jeans. "Come on," I said, motioning to the bathroom. "Come talk to me for a moment."

She closed her eyes and sat up, kissing the top of Alyssa's head. "Stay in here and watch Dora, baby. I'll be right back."

"Des mama."

Once she entered my bathroom, I closed the door and sat her up on the sink so I could wipe off the blood on her arm. "Did he hit you?"

"Not in my face. He pushed my chest right here really hard," she said, pointing between her breasts. "I think there's some... bruising that's going to develop. Again."

I poured some peroxide on a washcloth and ran it across her arm. "What happened?"

She shook her head slowly, frowning. "He found condom wrappers in the trash and went ballistic."

"Whose were they?"

"Mine."

"What do you mean?"

She scoffed and shook her head. "It's not what you think, Jazz."

"You don't know what I'm thinking."

"Just because I've thought about cheating on Makin doesn't mean I have."

"Alright, where did the condom wrappers come from then? I don't think you'd have condoms and use them on yourself."

"He used them."

I raised my eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes. "If you must know, I was on my period last week. He said he didn't want the mess, and he was drunk so of course he wouldn't remember much of it. He wore them. I tried to remind him that he was the one who asked for sex, that he was the one who suggested the condoms, and luckily I had some in my purse from way before. He's just a fucking drunken asshole."

"So you had the condoms from before, gave them to him so he could have sex with you on your period, and he doesn't remember it?"

She shook her head, scoffing. "Ahh, a story to share with my grandkids."

"So you've never cheated on Makin?"

"I told you. Just because I've thought about it doesn't mean I've done it. I only think about it when he's an ass... which has been a lot the past few months."

"Why didn't you leave him then?"

"I wanted him to change back," she exhaled. "I wanted him to... grow up and accept things. Make more time for me and my daughter."

"Makin's set in his ways."

"I can tell."

"I'm not condoning what he did, Colleen. I just wish you would have gotten out. I had no idea things were this bad. I do not want to imagine what could have happened if I had left for school already."

"I know," she frowned. "It's never been this bad. I swore to myself I'd never let another man hit me, and yet here I am, falling into the circle of doom again."

"No, you're not. We'll... pack some bags, get a hotel for the night. I'll find us another place. I have some money saved up."

"You can't take care of us, Jasper. That's not fair to you. You have your own life."

"I didn't ask you what's fair to me, Colleen. It's what I want to do. You need your friends, and I'm your friend. So you're going to let me help you whether you like it or not."

She giggled, shook her head, and wiped the tears from her eyelids, "Fine. Let's go. I'll pay for the room."

"That isn't nece-"

"It is," she hopped off the sink. "I didn't ask you what's necessary, Jazz. It's what I want to do."

"You might want to put a shirt on," I teased, following her into my bedroom. "I don't think they'll give us a free room just because you have on a pretty bra."

"Worth a shot," she sighed, scooping up her daughter.

*&*#!#$^%$^

We spent the next four hours packing up stuff and gathering clothes and needed items for the night. Colleen purchased a room for us at Pan Pacific Hotel in downtown Seattle. This place was nice. Much nicer than any hotel I'd ever stayed in before. Rich golden colors, large rooms, beautiful scenery... It was more in Jake and Edward's ballpark than my own. I was a simple guy. I didn't need much to satisfy myself. "God," I chuckled, setting my overnight bag beside the king-size bed, "I didn't say you had to rent a resort."

"It's nice," she sighed. "I needed nice after... that. Besides, it has a sauna... Mmmm, I can almost imagine being in there right now..."

"Not much of a sauna person myself," I sighed, watching Alyssa pull out her Barbies from the bag. "Don't like to sweat sitting in place. I'm more of an active, jogging type of person."

"You jog every day," she rolled her eyes. "This causes you to lose weight, and you get to read a magazine while you're doing it."

"I call that cheating."

"I call you complicated."

Alyssa wandered off into the other bedroom, dragging her bag of toys behind her. I watched as Colleen sat beside me on the mattress, and rubbed her back. "You alright?"

"Yeah... just wishing my life would some how be different than what it is. What it's always become."

"It's going to be all right. I'm here for you."

"Yep," she replied, laying back on the bed, "you're my modern-day hero. My cowboy in the flesh."

"Someone has to be," I said, laying next to her on my side. "Hungry?"

"No."

"Thirsty?"

She smiled, "Nope. I'm fine."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry you didn't get to sign up today Jazz. I'm sorry that we got in the way."

"I'd much rather you change my day around then get hurt."

"Yeah..."

"Can I ask you a question, Colleen?"

"Of course."

"When you said that you thought about cheating on Makin but didn't... why didn't you?"

"Truthfully?" she looked at me.

"Yes."

"Because the other person I was interested in, I shouldn't be. Not with my history."

"Who was it?"

"Who do you think?"

I shrugged.

"Well... one night at a bar, I thought for a second about Emmett... but that'd really be bad with my history."

Smirking, I muttered, "Emmett" to myself with a sigh. He was an enigma all to himself.

"And the other person I'd think about was you."

"Me?" I chuckled. "No one thinks about me in their fantasies."

"Don't be so naive."

"I'm not," I laughed.

"You've starred in quite a few of my fantasies," she replied, stretching her body out. "Usually shirtless and on a dark brown horse..."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Sometimes you have a piece of hay between your lips. We get down and dirty in the grass beneath the stars, beside a campfire and a worn tent..."

I fell onto my back, covering my face, "You are lying!"

"I'm not! My favorite fantasy is when you say 'ma'am' to me. Love when you say that."

"Oh God! The horror."

"Mmm... I love that fantasy," she cooed teasingly.

I blushed and looked away, up at a painting on the wall. Normally, it was the guys I knew that were cocky. Not the girls. Colleen was an interesting change.

"Oh come on!" she giggled. "Are you telling me that you've never had any crazy fantasies about me? Ever? Even when you're drunk?"

"I don't have to share that information with you."

"I'm asking you to."

"No."

She crawled next to me and dropped her chin to my chest, batting her lashes playfully, "Please? Please, Jazz? Just tell me. It'll make me feel better?"

I rolled my eyes, "No."

"PL:EASE?!" she squealed. "Come on, Jazz, please tell me!"

"Tell du what?" Alyssa called from the other room. We popped our heads up, and found her through the door, on the ground with her Barbies. "Nothing honey," Colleen giggled. "Stay in there." She turned to me and dropped her chin back down. "Please Jazz? Just tell me if you have or haven't?"

"You're my best friend's girl. Or were. So yes, I have before. But no, I don't want to tell you about them."

"One question about them?"

"What would that be?"

"Was I flexible? Most men say I'm flexible in their dreams."

"Ohhh, you were very flexible," I joked, rubbing my stomach playfully.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling with me, "Thanks Jazz... Nice to know I'm still wanted somehow... and that you were respectful enough to not... you know... encourage anything."

I frowned. "It's going to get better, Colleen. Maybe you just need some time for yourself... Time to be alone."

"Being alone is scary."

"I do it."

"I know. But you're strong. I can do it. Done it before, you know? You'll be my inspiration... my motivation to make myself better."

I dropped my hand beside hers and squeezed it a few times reassuringly. "I'll help you whenever you want. You'll make it through this. Maybe you and Makin can... patch things up, be friends again? When he gets over this bullshit, I mean. I don't know what's going on with him."

"No. No man puts his hands on me. Alyssa doesn't deserve to grow up in a house like that. It doesn't matter how much I love him, even when he's an absolute dickhead. I won't chance this again."

"See?" I shrugged. "You're getting stronger by the minute."

JacobPOV

I ran inside the house and dropped my briefcase, phone, and keys by the table beside the door.

I was late again. I'd been late for dinner every single evening for the past month.

I knew Rosalie was getting fed up with me by now, and I couldn't honestly blame her for it. I was fed up with myself.

And I was scared to death that she was going to leave me.

It was eerily quiet in the house, making me more nervous that that was, in fact, the case.

Shit.

Was she gone?

Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Rose?" I called out, taking the steps three at a time until I was in the kitchen. That was usually where I could find her when I was so late that dinner started to get cold. "Rose? You here?"

I walked through the darkened kitchen to the counter and picked up a folded piece of paper. All it had was an arrow pointing to the left.

I turned to the left, confused. There was nothing there. I flipped the paper around. Empty.

"Rose?" I walked through the hall. Please be here, please be here.

Shit, shit, shit.

"Rose?" I called out louder. I felt as if I was going to get sick. Every room, every hall, was dark. I didn't have time to turn on the lights. I just wanted to find her. "Babe? You home?"

...Silence.

My life would be over. I swear to Christ.

I ran up the steps to our bedroom and flicked on the light. The bed was made and the room was empty. Bathroom too.

She never made the bed. That made me more nervous.

I ran to the closet and yanked open the door. "Yes," I exhaled, covering my erratic heart. Her clothes were still there.

I blew out a gust of breath and backed up until my thighs hit the bed. Then I fell on the mattress for a moment. I needed to calm down. Her stuff was still here.

After a few seconds I pulled myself off the bed and made my way back downstairs, through the living and dining rooms, out the patio.

Then I froze.

There was a pathway of candles and flowers leading to the circular fire pit. A fire blazed there, lighting my beautiful girlfriend from behind.

She wore a black, knee-length, satin dress with sheer black lace covering the halter-top. Her long, blonde hair was in big, volumized curls that caressed silver dangling earrings. She wore no necklace and only a simple cuff bracelet on her left wrist.

My heart faltered. My brain signaled me to run forward and grasp her face and kiss the holy hell out of her, to tell her how thankful I was that she wasn't packing her shit and kicking me in the ass on her way out the front door.

My body began to shake.

She smiled calmly at me and waited until I took a few steps closer to her. Then she moved, and met me in the middle.

I wasn't breathing as I took her hands. I think I was still in shock that she was actually here. Either that, or I was still stunned by how amazing she looked in front of me tonight, though there was no reason I should be. Hell, I couldn't even figure it out.

Rosalie took my hands in hers and took a deep breath. "Hi."

"Hi," I replied breathlessly. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"You're always late," she smiled.

"I know... I thought you got fed up and left me."

She shook her head slowly. "No."

I relaxed a little and looked around, finding my entire back porch lit up with different candles. "What's... all this?"

"I have something to tell you, and something to ask you, Jacob. I'm going to tell you first though."

"Alright..." I replied, getting nervous again.

She laughed nervously and squeezed my hands, before kneeling down in front of me. I started to kneel down with her, but then I noticed a black box beside her leg, and froze solid in mid-crouch. Now I knew I wasn't breathing.

She picked up the box, her silver bracelet vibrating as her hand shook. I watched as she bowed her head and sniffled, not wanting to show me she was crying. The only thought in my mind was that she was in a dress, and that sidewalk had to be hurting her knees. I hoped she didn't scrape them.

Other than that, my brain was empty. I couldn't even register to wipe her tears.

Why was she crying? Was she really leaving me? What the hell was in the box?

...Oh....

...Oh.... SHIT....

Rosalie took a deep breath and looked up at me, her beautiful eyes glowing in the candlelight.

I tried again to kneel down beside her, but her hands stilled me. So I stayed half-crouched because I didn't have the strength to stand back up all the way.

It took a long while before she could even speak, and I feared the worst because I had no idea what to think. "Jacob, before you came into my life, I was invisible. I didn't care about the choices I made, and... I made a lot of them without thinking about the consequences. The only time I felt alive was when I was doing something reckless. I felt like the only way to be noticed was to be pretty on the outside; make-up, fancy designer clothes or slutty dresses. So I went with the random guys who did notice."

She took a breath. "Even when you and Bella were close, you never judged me for any of that. When your friends would say stuff, you'd fight with them. As we grew closer, I realized quickly how genuine of a person you are. You don't care what people think about you. You fight for what you believe in, and you make me want to do the same thing. Every day, I realize just how much I admire you. And I don't care if you curse like a sailor, if you hate the way I decorate your bathroom, or if you make fun of my granny-panty drawer. Because every single time that you look at me, I see how much you care. And… though sometimes I feel… like I don't deserve your love... I'm always thankful for it, and I try to never take it for granted..."

She took a second to wipe her tears. "I'm not good at speaking up like you are. I'm not as brave as you, or as confident as you are... but being with you, I feel like I don't have to be any more than what I am. You love me for me, and you remind me all the time. You're my best friend Jake, but you're much more than that. You're the brightest star in my galaxy... guiding me home each night... comforting me when the shadows of my existence try to overtake the room. And I want to be all of those things for you, too. Because I don't know how I'll ever be able to... wake up and not have you there beside me. I fear that day... I dread the mere thought of it."

Rosalie took another breath. "...I've always put up this front that I don't need anyone, screw 'em if they don't like me, who cares. But... you see right through that. You see every single part of me, even the parts I hate, and you point out there beauty even when I don't believe you. You're amazing and I'm thankful for you. But... I want more. So... my question is... Would you please... please... let me stay with you, by your side, forever? Will you let me lift you up as you've lifted me? Can I be the brightest star in your galaxy? ...I know that's a lot of questions," she chuckled nervously, swallowing hard. "Basically, will you, Jacob Allen Black, marry me?"

She opened the box, revealing a platinum band, with a thick, black marbled center going all the way around it.

I took a deep breath, stunned by how well she knew me when she chose that ring. It definitely resembled what I was about. I wore a ring that was black on my right index finger, every day. Black marble, just like that one.

I knelt beside her and shook my head slowly. The only thing that came out of my mouth was, "this wasn't supposed to happen..." and she gasped.

I realized the way it sounded.

Before she could panic, I grasped her hands in my right and pulled a box from my left pants pocket. She gasped again, louder, when I opened it, revealing the set of platinum bands. The minor band held a row of Baguette-cut diamonds, and the major band contained a similar row, with a larger "stone" in the middle made up of four small diamonds.

She stared up at me in shock, and I stared back at her in awe.

"I was going to ask you this weekend," I exhaled, pulling out the rings. "I knew you wouldn't expect it... I know you and I have discussed my fears of marriage, that I'm not necessarily a believer in it. But... I do know that I don't want to wake up one day, or come home from work late one night, and find you gone. Tonight about gave me a heart attack. But... you give me enough hope to try, so I wanted to go ahead and ask you." I inhaled deeply, maybe not sure about this, but absolutely sure of her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... Yes, I want to marry you. I hope that you want to marry me too."

Rosalie squealed and threw herself into my arms, knocking the rings and the box out of my hands as we fell back onto the hard concrete walkway. She kissed all over my face, her lavender scent swarming my senses as her warm lips met my cheek, my eyelids, my mouth, over and over and over again.

"Yes," she replied, hugging me tight. "Yes, yes, yes. I want to marry you. I've wanted to marry you since you moved me in here, probably before. Yes, yes, yes!"

I laughed and cradled her neck in my hand before I rolled us over, supporting her head so the sidewalk wouldn't hurt her. I had to reach over her body, into the grass, so I could grab the rings. She cried once I slid the minor band on her finger and tucked the other in my pants pocket. Then she slid her ring on my finger.

We were home. Together.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Black," she whispered, kissing my cheek.

I buried my face in her hair and inhaled her comfort. "I can't wait to be Mr. Dwyer."

She laughed out loud, "No! I get to take your name!"

"But you asked me first."

"It's tradition!"

"Fuck tradition!"

"Fuck me!"

I laughed and pulled her up, before throwing her over my shoulder. "That I can do."

I made sure to slap her ass as I ran into the house. The candles, the dinner out on the patio... it could all wait.

The only thing on my mind was making love to my fiancée.

The Next Day

EdwardPOV

I came downstairs to find Bella in the kitchen with Masen, nursing. It was strange, being in our house since it was so quiet. Renee went back to her apartment. We'd found Aimee a place not too far from our place. It was all about us now.

I kissed the top of her head and drug my feet to the coffee maker, turning it on.

"How did you sleep?" I asked her as I pulled out two cups.

"So so," she replied slowly with a shrug, rubbing the top of Masen's head. "Couldn't turn my brain off."

"Yeah," I whispered. "It's a big day."

"It is. But I just want to get it over with."

"Me too," I said as I leaned against the bar. "Are you sure I can't go with you?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. "I'm sure. You need to say goodbye to Alice." She hesitated for the briefest second. "…And… I need to do this on my own."

I frowned, unable to tear my eyes from hers. I wished I wouldn't have promised Alice. I'd been so caught up in the revelation of her leaving and realizing I was losing time and losing my best friend all within the matter of minutes that I declared I'd go. It was a hard realization, knowing that Bella and I had pushed the idea of the James confrontation to the back burner so completely because we weren't certain about how to discuss it or handle it. But now, it was time. I didn't want to think about her walking into that jail by herself. I didn't want to think of him being on the same planet, let alone in the same room. He didn't deserve to know she existed. Every single time I thought about it, my stomach flipped and my body shook. I couldn't imagine what was going on inside her head today, even when I tried. It seemed too painful.

"Stop looking at me like that," she chuckled nervously, situating our son against her chest. "Everything is going to be fine, Edward."

"I'd like to go with you," I argued, crossing my arms over my chest. "I really don't like the idea you being near him without me there. I want to be there so I can do somethin-"

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't be there. Edward... everything we go through, we go through together. Everything we feel, every emotion we have, is shared. You'll be with me, even if you're not physically there, every step of the way. And, yes, it would be a comfort to me if you were there. But... if I don't stand up and face him by myself, if I have someone there to hold me up... then he's still beaten me. It's not that I don't want you there, or I'm worried that you'll snap. It's just..." She sighed, frowning up at me, "...I'm sorry baby. It's something I feel I need to do by myself, so he knows that I'm not afraid to stand up to him anymore."

I nodded, unable to respond. My chest ached badly. This was not going to be a good day.

"Besides," Bella stated sweetly, "you have to give Alice a kiss and a hug for me. I know you'll regret it if you're not there to send her off. You already promised you'd be there."

"I know, but-"

"No buts, Edward. I promise. We're all going to be okay."

"I hope so."

"There's no hope about it."

"Okay Bella," I said hesitantly. There wasn't a point to arguing with her. I couldn't make her take me with her.

The next hour was spent getting ready, trying to have a normal conversation with a big fat elephant sitting in the room. After we were all dressed, we sat on the couch as a family. She held Masen in her arms with her knees over my legs, and I had both my arms wrapped completely around her and my son. I've never been a clingy person, and I had always fucking hated it with the fire of a thousand suns when women did that shit. But today... I was the oxymoron; I was clingy Edward.

I did not want to let Bella go. I did not want to let her out of the room, out of my sight, out of my arms. I could protect her here. And it wasn't that I felt she wasn't strong enough to handle all of this by herself, because she's the strongest person I'd ever met in my life. But with me here, she could be multiple times strong... multiple times protected. In my mind, it felt like letting her go was showing that I didn't care enough. And that's all I did when it came to her: Care. Love. Respect. Shelter.

Life without Bella for even the shortest of seconds was not a life that I wanted.

I watched as the clock on our wall ticked slowly, passing time, pushing us closer to a place we didn't want to be. I rested my head on her shoulder, allowing her to hold me just as much as I was holding her. We didn't say much. I knew she wanted to be there to support me and say goodbye to Alice, just as much as I wanted to be with her. But we couldn't. And since we couldn't, we just held onto each other, breathed in each other's essence, and that was it.

Before I realized it, Bella had her things gathered and was ready to go. My chest, my stomach, my head... everything hurt. But I didn't want to show her that and bring her down. Masen and I walked Bella out to my car since we'd traded vehicles for the day. Once her things were inside, she turned to me and smiled confidently. "So... I'll see you in a few hours?"

I nodded, watching as she kissed Masen and told him how much she loved him. "I want you to be safe, Bella. Don't hesitate to call me, even if it's just to hear breathing. I'll be here to comfort you, in any way you need, alright? I'm a phone call away, and I can be there quick if you want me to be."

She smiled beautifully, rose on her tip-toes, and kissed me gently. "That's why I love you," she whispered.

I kissed her mouth, her cheek, and her hair, inhaling as much of my wife as I could. I needed her comfort just as much as she needed mine. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said again.

"Call me."

"I will."

"I mean it, Bella. As soon as you get out, if nothing else. Please call me."

She kissed Masen and then the corner of my mouth once more. "I will," she said. "I promise."

I held her hand until I couldn't anymore, and then she was in my car and down the road. It felt as if my heart went right along with her. My chest was too hollow to have it there.

If I hadn't had my son with me, carrying me though I was holding him, I may have all but fallen apart right there in our driveway. I was grateful that God gave me him, a little piece of Bella that could stay with me whenever she had to go away. Masen took the place of my shelter.

*&*#!#$^%$^

My feet were like solid lead as I went about the rest of my day. I couldn't get Bella out of my mind. I knew that she would be with police officers and lawyers for the first part of her morning, so that was a little reassurance I could hold on to. I'd have at least an hour of some sort of peace, knowing she'd be safe with them. If not for that, I would probably be hunched in a corner, bald because I would have tugged out all my hair.

Not much was said at Em's house either. It seemed emptier without Alice's things there. Definitely not as bright. All she had was her carry-on luggage. We tried to make simple talk as the four of us headed to Alice's favorite restaurant so she could eat some breakfast. But again, that elephant was always present. No matter how much we tried to steer the conversation to other things going on in our lives, it went right back to either an awkward silence filled with tension, or the subject of her leaving, which was always quickly dropped.

None of us had an appetite. We mostly drank coffee and smiled when we caught a friend looking in our direction. A few rambles here and there.

The drive over wasn't any easier. All I kept thinking about has how I couldn't be with my wife, and how I was losing someone who had grown up beside me and been with me since we were three years old. It wasn't fair. My life seemed to be an abundance of shitty moments today.

Emmett excused himself from the car when we parked at the airport, so Alice and I could talk in private. She sat in the passenger seat relaxed against the head rest, and rolled her head over to look at me. I gave her a half-smile. She sent one back in return.

"So..." she said, shrugging slightly as she rubbed her palms against her jeans, "this is it..."

"It doesn't have to be," I said hoarsely, keeping my eyes on her. "We can make this work so you'll be happy here."

She shook her head slowly, frowning. "No, we can't."

"How do you know unless you try?"

Alice took a deep breath and puffed her cheeks to let the air back. "Honest truth?"

"Please."

"I'm not a hundred percent over my feelings for you. I mean, I am. But, every once in a while, I still have these random thoughts. They happen very sporadically, only when I'm around you, which thankfully hasn't been a lot. But my thoughts still upset me."

"Like what thoughts?"

"It's not fair to you, Bella, or Masen to say what my idiotic brain thinks, Edward."

"I'm asking you, Alice. It's not like you'll face anyone tomorrow. Besides... it's more unfair if you were to hide your feelings and no one ever knows the truth."

She shut her eyes and turned her face away, looking uncomfortable as hell. "After we 'cut ties', I've only allowed myself to be around you a few times, for good reason. I'm still healing. Every other day, I spend with Emmett and Jazz and my other friends. I go to therapy, design clothes, and live my life, and I don't think about you and I like that anymore. In this life, I know that you and her are supposed to make it. But, during those times…"

"But?"

"But," she exhaled, "during the times I'm around you... I find it very easy to become vulnerable enough to slip back into old habits. Adjusting to you and I, the way we were... and... I sometimes wonder if... in an alternate universe... there would ever be a day when you'd chase after me. If you would have let Bella be with Jasper, if I wouldn't have intervened between them, if you wouldn't have slept with her that night in the cabin, if Jazz and I didn't get involved... if maybe you and I would have been together by now."

It became silent in the car, the atmosphere suffocating us. My chest tightened further, squeezing my normally solid frame. I looked out to see Emmett sitting on a curb with my son, shielding him from the sunlight.

"I'm... sorry," I whispered, unsure of what to say at the moment.

"No. I'm sorry," she whispered back as she gathered her purse and grabbed for the handle. "Forget I ever said anything. How about we call it a draw? I'll just go and you won't have to wor-"

Reflex struck and I reached over and snatched Alice's wrist, holding her in her seat. "Wait."

She turned to look at me with her lips parted and eyes wide. My heart -- which I'd shut down for my own protection -- seemed to slowly start back up in my chest. "Please..." I whispered as the door clicked closed. "Just... stay here for a moment with me. I want to tell you something."

Alice trembled as she leaned against the passenger door, glancing down to my hand wrapped around her wrist, then back up to my eyes. "...Okay."

I took a deep breath, trying to ground myself. My entire universe seemed to be swaying like a boat caught in harsh seas. I knew I had to let her go, but the selfish side of me was battling.

She tapped my hand, reminding me that I still had a hold of her, and brought me back slowly to earth. "What is it Edward?"

I couldn't speak at first. I furrowed my brows, trying to concentrate, trying to figure out how to let out what I needed to without sounding a certain way and this whole thing getting more fucked up.

"Edward?" she said after a few moments of dead silence.

"I... don't know, Alice," I began. "Now that I have Bella back and Masen in my life, it's impossible for me to imagine where my life would be, in said alternate universe, had I not been with Bella that night. But... to be fair to you... yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes... I have wondered about you and me."

"Okay..."

"Before I went to the cabin, before God decided to have mercy on me and fix whatever became fucked up in my life... I thought about a lot of things. I never expected Bella and I to be friends again, let alone lovers. I honestly had it in my head that we'd suffer through the entire vacation, avoid each other when we didn't want to fight, and then we would go back to outwardly pretending the other didn't exist for all intents and purposes. There'd be times when I'd be so fed up with the way things were going and try to focus and plan my life for when I'd be able to move on from her, if that time ever came. I knew I didn't want to be with Tanya and I had permanent plans to call it quits after we got back from Colorado from the get-go. I think everyone saw how tired I was getting of her..."

"That's an understatement," she replied with a sly smile.

"And," I continued numbly, "I knew that I'd want to try and make it alone for a while, even though the thought of that absolutely killed me. But I figured when I finally regained some sort of balance in my life, with work and friends, I'd eventually begin dating again. Did I see myself with you? Yes. I'm not going to lie, Alice. There were plenty of times in the past four years that I thought about wanting to be with you. Anytime that I was alone, anytime that you and I could hang out and chill at the condo, yeah... I thought about it every once in a while. But there were several reasons why I didn't do it."

"Like what?"

"Well," I exhaled, shrugging, "most importantly, I knew I'd fail you. I knew that you'd soon realize how fucked up I was as a person, even worse than what you originally thought. The smoke and fog would clear, and you wouldn't want me around, as a boyfriend or a friend, because you found out the truth of what I was all along: I was a shitty person. And, I love you too much to fail you. Second, I knew I'd never be able to love anyone again, not powerfully and devoted to them... not since Bella. I didn't have a full heart to give anyone. As wonderful a person as you are and as devoted to me as you were, it still wouldn't be fair to let you love me and that love not be returned the same way. Yes, I would have done anything to keep you from harm. Yes, I was attracted to you, if I admitted it to myself. And, yes, there were times when I wanted to be physical and explore possibilities, but... I had nothing to offer. Because of Bella...what happened between us… I was broken. And regardless of if I could have moved on from her or not -- which I knew I couldn't -- you didn't deserve to hold the ashes, what remained of my heart, in your hands. You deserve someone's whole heart, Alice. And I didn't have that to give."

Her eyes intensified at the honesty of my words. "But wasn't that for me to decide, not you?" She sighed, moving closer to me. She took my face in her hands as her eyes welled up with tears. "Don't you get it, Edward? I've been picking up your pieces since you were three, just as you picked up mine and Emmett's. We were the trio, yes. But you and me... we had this bond that went completely beyond anyone else, and everyone knew it. I didn't have to follow you around, you didn't have to follow me... But we stuck it out together and we held each other up. We were each other's brick wall in that sense. We had an unbreakable shield."

She bit her lip. "Look, I know nothing can happen now and, like I told you, I'm fine with that. We made choices, we live with them. You chose Bella, I chose to move on . But I've always had this question lingering... and I'd really like you to answer it. Just so I'd know for sure."

"What is it?"

She hesitated momentarily. "My question is... with the time we devoted to each other, especially the last four years before the cabin... why didn't we owe it to ourselves to give it a real try? The sparks were there, they were constantly present. Every time you held me in your lap, or whenever you'd take my hand or hug me, every time we spent the night together in your bed or mine, choose each other over other friends or lovers, spend time with family... That day in the pool in the cabin, you held on to me so tight and you didn't want to let me go. And I know there was more reason than just you worrying you were going to lose me as your friend. There had to be," she said breathlessly, blinking slowly. "Right?"

I frowned and shook my head, pulling her hands from my face and squeezing them tight. "No Alice," I whispered with a frown. "It would have never worked between you and I. Even if we both tried for it."

She wiped the tears from her cheek on her shoulder, allowing me to keep hold of her hands. "I understand. Really I do. But, why not?"

My answer was simple. "Bella."

She nodded in understanding, "What if you would have gotten over-"

"Never," I sighed, finally getting it all out and in the open. "I've meant what I've always said since the first day I met Bella. I knew if I were to marry, I was going to marry her. I knew if I was going to have kids, it would be with her. I knew that my life wouldn't make one damn bit of sense without her, and it didn't. You and your feelings are proof of that. I'm sorry I've led you on. I'm sorry I was stupid and foolish and selfish for too many years and allowed you to think something that you should have never thought. But that's something that I have to live with. I love you, Alice. I want you in my life, and I want us to all grow together. But... I only want you as my friend, my sister. I'm sorry, but it cannot be anything more than that with anyone else but who I've chosen. Bella is the only person in my world besides my son that I cannot imagine ever suffering through a day without."

It became silent again as my words sank in.

We pulled away from each other and leaned against opposite doors.

I prepared myself for the worst.

But then she stunned me. .

She began to laugh. Giggling like a young girl at a boyband concert.

I rubbed my face, looking over at her like she was mad. "I'm sorry," she continued, covering her chest and holding up her other hand. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Whooo."

"...Are you... all right?"

"Mmhmm," she chuckled, wiping the corners of her eyes. "I'm great now."

I looked around the car, trying to find a hidden game show host or something. The universe kept fucking flipping around on me. I couldn't figure this shit out.

She hummed and rounded her shoulders, tall and confident again. "All better now," she stated with a reassuring smile.

"Care to tell me what the hell just happened?"

She smiled and ran her fingers through her hair. "It's the final door closing, exactly what I needed to hear. Yesterday, after I left, I started feeling discouraged about my plans to leave. It was so easy visiting you at the hospital, going back to 'our spot' in the dirt, being huggy and not worrying about things, and you asking me not to leave... Like I explained earlier, I slipped into the old habit, the old me, where I'd question my reasons for going, wonder what you'd do if we had the chance. So for you to tell me the truth, that you did consider it, it wasn't all in my head, but you just couldn't do it for your own reasons..." She took a deep breath and her eyes lit up. "Wow. Splash of cold water to wake me up, I guess. The final slap. Much needed. Thank you!"

I blinked slowly at her. I definitely didn't expect that reaction.

She giggled again. "Like I said, I didn't feel that way unless I was in your physical presence. But now I'm here, and you've completely and understandably destroyed all hope of us being together with a few quick words and some strict eye to eye contact and... I've never been more certain in my life that now, I should go. No offense to you, but... thank you for giving it to me bluntly. My therapist always told me that, once it finally came out, it'd be eye-opening, and it truly is. I love you and I thank you for being so honest with me. You're wonderful."

I turned and stared at my steering wheel and shrugged my shoulders. I was still in shock.

"Basically, I'm saying that now that you've told me the truth, I realize just how much I don't need you like that... Emmett was right."

"Emmett?"

"Yeah. He told me this morning before you got here, that I deserved someone to love me for everything that I am and not a half-percentage less. You pretty much telling me that all I'd get is ashes from what remained of your heart... Yep. That about did it for the coffin of the old Alice."

"Are you sure you're stable to get on the plane?" I asked dumbly. But it was the only thought I had that registered

"I am more than sure. I'm now looking forward to it, all over again."

I blew out a gust of wind and nodded. What could I say? What did I expect? Her to be crying and attach herself to me like some freak, despite what I told her? Or for her to run from the car, never looking back at me, never hearing from her again? The entire thing had been utterly insane madness.

"You know," she continued. "They say this happens. The epiphany. One day, people just wake up and people get out of abusive relationships, or they quit the job they've worked at for twenty years, or they blow their entire life savings and move to Tahiti and make grass skirts. Today, right here, is my epiphany. I know I look crazy and you're probably a little freaked out, but really, it just happened so fast. Something just came over me, fast like whip-lash, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. That last heavy weight. It's great!"

I nodded slowly. "Well... okay."

She laughed and pulled me over the console and gave me a tight squeeze. "Oh! I love you so much! Please take care of that baby and Bella. I want you to be happy and I really, really mean it. Call me whenever and come visit me, please. Let's try and rebuild our friendship this way, okay? Long distance is what we need. We can do it!"

"Okay."

She pulled away and clutched my shoulders, smiling proudly. "I gotta get inside now."

I nodded, hiding the sadness of losing my friend. "Okay."

"Love you," she said after she opened the door and leaned back inside to kiss my cheek. "Bunches."

"Love you."

She waved, grabbed her things, and ran over to Emmett. After they put Masen back in his seat and said their final goodbyes to us, I watched as Alice laughed and hopped on Emmett's back so he could carry her into the airport. Once they disappeared, I looked in the backseat at my son as he blinked at me.

"Masen... What... the hell... just happened there?"

He didn't do anything besides kick his feet in his white and blue striped onesie.

I took a deep breath, adjusted my shades, and started the car again. "Let's get out of here and call your mother."

JasperPOV

I smiled and rose to my feet with Mr. Turner, shaking his hand firmly over his desk.

"Welcome to the school, Mr. Whitlock," he grinned, patting me on the back.

"Thank you, Sir."

"If you'll just go to the front office, Miss Brunyett will give you everything you need. The classroom is unoccupied at the moment, so feel free to make yourself familiar with the halls, the shortcuts, get acquainted with the arrangements. If you have any questions, the buzzer to the intercom is always to the left of your door. Buzz her, and we'll be able to help."

"Thank you again sir," I said as he led me out to the front desk.

Miss Brunyett, with her mix of blonde and gray hair, lifted her eyes from the desk and smiled up at me politely. "You must be Mr. Whitlock?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Call me Janette, please," she smiled, and the riddle of Janette Brunyett repeated in my head several times. "Here's everything you need; class schedule, arrangements, program cd's to help you line up your assignments and plan everything accordingly, book lists from the school library you may gather for your students to take home and study, so on and so forth. Your class is on the second story. Take the east stairs, wind two corners, third door on the left between the red and blue lockers. Anything else you need, feel free to buzz."

"Thank you, Janette," I replied as I gathered the materials.

It felt weird, walking the halls of high school again. Like slipping back in time. I did alright in school, making honor roll and participating in sports. My biggest accomplishment back then was a cross between taking state and becoming class president both junior and senior years. People always said that you'd want to go back after you finished and lived life for a few years. As I wandered the halls and made my way up the steps, I noticed the hanging glittered banners and scuffs from shoes along the floors, and I realized just how true it was.

I belonged in a school. I wanted to teach. It had always been my dream. I couldn't believe that. in just a few short weeks, I'd be here every day. I couldn't wait.

I trailed my fingertips down the textured wall, across the lockers, until I stopped in front of the door.

Room 402. Home.

Walking into the classroom had an entire different feel. Everything seemed new... full of hope.

I smiled as I trailed the rows of empty desks. I tried to imagine the personality of the student that occupied each one. Was it a bookworm? A nerd? A jock with an attitude problem? A loner? Someone who slept through the class every day? Someone caught passing notes on a regular basis? With each personality characteristic, I imagined how I'd handle the situation. Would I be the teacher who most people learned to love, the one who was cool and let the small things slip? Or would I be the one who was over-focused on the education purpose and didn't pay attention to anyone or anything else, forcing the students to hate me?

A light tap on the door frame interrupted my thoughts, and I jerked my head toward the door to find a pretty lady wearing a pencil skirt, blazer jacket, and tiny glasses. Her black hair streamed in a low ponytail over her left shoulder and, when she smiled, my heart calmed from the quick start.

"I'm sorry," she replied softly, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, no, it's okay."

"Am I interrupting anything?"

"Oh, just... me and all my friends," I stated, waving my arm around at the emptiness.

The woman giggled and crossed her arms over her chest. "You must be Mr. Whitlock."

"I am," I replied. "You can call me Jasper. Please, come in." Her low heels clicked along the tile floor as she entered the classroom and followed me over to the desk, scattered with stacks of manila envelopes, paper dividers, staplers, pens, and a globe. "And you are?"

"My name is Angela," she replied sweetly. "Angela Weber. I teach English Lit, right across the hall, room four-thirty. I also run the photography/yearbook projects."

I shook her hand. "Pleasure meeting you."

"Pleasure's mine," she replied. "First year?"

"Yes," I exhaled, taking a seat behind the desk. "It will be my first time, also."

"It's my first year as well," she stated. "You'll do fine. The first week will be a little overwhelming, but I'm right across the hall, so if you ever need to swing by and vent, know I'm only a few steps away."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied, grinning at her. "Thank you, Angela."

"Anytime."

We smiled at each other, and for some reason, I felt my heart kickstarting. She seemed kind, so sweet and tender-hearted... and completely unaware of the way she held a room. I liked that. My conscience got the best of me and my eyes trailed to her hands. No ring. Interesting.

"May I ask how you selected teaching for your career?" she said as she took a seat in the first desk of the second row, crossing her legs beneath it.

"I've loved History since I was small," I replied as I leaned the chair back. "Everything about it. A lot of my friends didn't like it, said it was all boring, it was in the past. As I grew older, I kept trying to figure out a way to express my passion, keep people interested in all of the events that led up to where our country is today. Teaching came to mind very quickly. It seemed perfect for the road I wanted to take."

She beamed and tilted her head. "Ahhhh. A passionate teacher to boot. Those are hard to find around here, especially in a small school in the big city like this one. Teachers rank here by seniority and you'll be quickly reminded of how they don't even try to hide that fact."

"Thanks for the tip."

"You're welcome."

I grinned at her. "How about yourself?"

"I majored in Education, specializing English Literature, and minored in Photography. Hence the double position I hold now. I found that it was okay to be a 'book worm', to be a 'nerd'. Books could take me places that the television and radio couldn't. I found it... empowering... to be sitting in one room and exploring a book... and then suddenly it feels as if I'm swept away in some foreign land, living a different life for a few hours... It's incredible."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Well then," Angela smiled, "seems like we're going to get along very well."

"Yes, it does."

She stood up, wiping her hands along her skirt. "Well... I better get back. Papers to grade."

I stood up with her, wishing she could stay a little longer. I didn't know anyone here at the school yet. It would have been nice to make a friend. We shook hands again, and the smile would not leave my face. "Well... it's been great to learn a little about you, Mrs. Weber. I hope we'll learn more as time passes."

"Miss Weber," she corrected me, not missing that I had done that on purpose, as obvious from her blush. "And yes... we will."

I caught a whiff of her perfume, floral and sweet, and then she was gone, across the hall to her classroom. The door closed quietly behind her. I stared at the numbers to her room for a moment, and felt a sense of warm wash over me. Things could definitely get interesting.

My phone chirped and I pulled it out quickly so it'd stop echoing down the empty halls. "Hello?"

"Hey Jazz, it's Alice."

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you boarding now?"

"In about an hour. My phone's about to die though, so I wanted to go ahead and call you and let you know that I made it to the airport okay. Edward and Emmett took me. E said goodbye already. I didn't want him to actually come in the airport. So I have Emmett instead."

"How'd it go?"

I could almost hear her smiling through the phone. "Really well. We said goodbye, which was sad because it's one thing to imagine it and another to actually go through it. But... it was what was supposed to happen today."

"I'm proud of you, Alice. Keep getting stronger for me."

"I will," she giggled. "Just... wanted to tell you that I love you and I hope you'll stick to your promise of coming to visit me this coming summer."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, angel. Love you too. Call me when you land, even if it's from a payphone."

"K. Talk to you soon."

"Tell Emmett I say hello."

"Will do. Bye babe."

"See ya."

As I walked over to grab my belongings, another tap of knuckles came from the door. I smiled, wondering what Angela had forgotten, and turned to see... not Angela.

"Colleen," I said, walking over to her. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

She smiled and gave me a hug, "Alyssa and I were about to get some food. Wanna join?"

"Of course," I said, patting Alyssa on the top of her head. "What did you have in mind?"

"Ohhhhh, what about some onion rings?"

"Ewww," Alyssa cringed, attaching herself to her mother's left leg and sitting on her shoe. "I don't wike onion wings."

"Well, you can get something else," Colleen giggled as we entered the hallway, dragging her daughter down the hall. As we passed by Angela's room, she came outside, carrying a stack of papers. She blew her falling hair from her face and closed the door with her hands full, before catching a glimpse at us.

She blushed, straightening her body out and resituating her things. "Take care, Mr. Whitlock."

"Bye, Ms. Weber. See you soon."

She nodded, glancing from Colleen and Alyssa. We rounded the corner and Colleen nudged me, giggling. "Oooh, Jazz. Getting around fast, aren't ya?"

"Shut up," I laughed. "Come on, I'm starving."

EmmettPOV

Alice clicked along her laptop, transferring her files via satellite to the computer at her new office. I watched the folders, one by one, being sent over. Each representing how real it was.

I was about to lose my friend. Maybe not everything about her, but we'll definitely never be this close again.

I did my best to hide the constant pain in my chest, the erratic flip of my nervous system. I made her laugh, gave her a piggy back ride, joked about the people around us.

Of course, I wanted to tell her all the things I was thinking, all that I was feeling.

But I didn't want to make this any harder than it already was for her. No matter how many times she tried to smile and show confidence, I knew she was going to miss this place and us too.

It just seemed like, at this moment, her feelings were more important than my own. And if she wanted to go, I had to let her go.

I couldn't go any further than the security checkpoint, so she decided to stay and wait, and we'd time it so she'd still make her plane with no problem.

We sat by the window, her munching on chips and working quietly, and me... just trying to control myself and keep shit at bay.

I felt like a damn girl.

Alice turned and looked at me as I pulled the cap from my head and sat it on my knee. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?" she said as she reached and stole it from my leg. "Head itch?"

"Nah."

"I love this newsboy hat."

"I know " I forced a smile at her. "You tell me all the time."

"It's cute."

"Thanks." I wrapped my arm behind her on the chair. "Almost done with that file shit?"

"Yep, almost," she grinned. "I'm so glad Tammy's there, getting all of this. I still can't believe she left a day early just for me."

"She's a good assistant."

"Yeah. I think she wants a raise."

"Probably," I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck. "As if moving to New York with you isn't enough."

"It's a big adjustment," she sighed. "But she said she wanted to go."

"I understand why she would," I said, smiling at her. "She doesn't have to lose you that way."

Her bottom lip puckered . "Awww, Em. You promised you weren't going to make me sad today!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I exhaled, watching the people passed us by in quick motions.

She lay her head on my left shoulder. "It's okay. I still love you."

"That's what you keep telling me," I said as I looked down at her face. My eyes did a quick roam of her soft, creamy skin, her full lips. For such a skinny girl, she sure had some extreme features.

"You know what gets me at airports?" she said, pulling away and looking at all the passengers, back in quirky mode.

I straightened up as well. "What's that?"

"The goodbyes and hellos. Watching everyone greet someone or say goodbye to them... Most are quick, but then you get that one couple... like that one right there…" She sighed a little as she pointed to a couple caught in a deep kiss, arms wrapped completely around each other. "And they just steal the entire show away. Blow everyone else's joy out of the water."

"Why, because they over-exercise the definition of 'public display of affection'?"

"No," she rolled her eyes, nudging my ribs. "Because they're so caught up in extreme joy, or overwhelming sadness, for getting that person back or leaving them. And they can't help but show it... right there... right here, surrounded by all these people."

"The only people who act like that in real life are actors and drama queens. The rest of us wait until we're somewhere more private."

"Not always."

"The sane ones then."

"Who cares about being sane? Sane is overrated. I'd much rather be insane, and happily in love one day."

"I'm sure you'll find it in New York," I scoffed sarcastically. "All those people there are so busy, I don't know how they make time to wipe their own ass with their busy schedules and hustle-bustle. They probably get someone else to do it for them."

Alice turned and glared at me, dropping her hands to her lap. "I pity you, Emmett."

*&*#!#$^%$^

As time crept, I felt my body literally itching. I hated it. I hated every single damn thing about it.

I wasn't good with this. I wasn't good with change. I wasn't good at accepting there was no other way.

I pursed my lips and turned to Alice, who had her stuff packed away now, and was ready to go, "So... almost time, huh?"

"Yeah..."

I stood up, gathered her things for her, and extended my free hand. "Come on, I'll walk you until we can't walk any farther."

She smiled sweetly. "That'd be great."

Her tiny fingers intertwined with mine and we made our way to the back of the long line awaiting a security check point. "So," I exhaled, squeezing her hand, "are you going to miss me at all? Or are you going to jump for joy as soon as you're in that plane, knowing how long of a break you'll get from having me there to annoy you?"

She curled into my arm, pressing the side of her face against it. "Of course I'll miss you. I think you're the person I'll miss the most out of everyone."

"Whatever. Including Edward?"

"Yeah. Including Edward."

"I'm shocked. I thought he was your ultimate best friend or whatever, despite the distance."

Alice shook her head, and I could tell she was growing sad. "I love him and will always be happy for what we had. But, he hasn't been my best friend in months. You have. You've been there for everything, every step of the way."

Keeping our hands intertwined, I held hers behind her back and pulled her body into my chest, resting my chin on top of her head. "I really suck at goodbyes, Alice."

"Me too."

"I don't want you to leave. You're my best friend, too, you know?"

"I know," she said, pushing her face into my shirt. "My heart hurts more saying goodbye to you than anyone else. And I've said a lot of goodbyes this past week."

I pursed my lips, fighting my emotions. "Not real sure... how to do this," I murmured. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you by my side. You're like my wingman... with breasts."

She giggled through her tears but didn't show me her face, as she wrapped her arms around me tighter. "We've had some good times."

"Eight years of good times," I redefined, moving us up in line, even though I dreaded it.

"I'll always remember our special days... I'll always remember... pink laundry day," she giggled, thinking of when she threw her hot pink socks in my washing machine and all my white briefs faded to a nice shade of carnation pink, "...or back-packing day," she continued, remembering when she and I went hiking weeks back, and she slipped and fell and I tripped over her and we both slid down the dirt and landed in the weeds, "...and never, ever forget sexual scrabble day."

I grinned. "That was a great night."

"It was," she giggled. "From start to finish."

I nodded, tightening my grip around her even more. There wasn't an inch of space between us. I wasn't sure how we managed to walk in a straight line anymore, especially with her facing me. But I'd be damned if I let her go. For her, I'd risk a broken ankle or two.

Alice sighed, and we listened in silence as peoples' items went through the machine, beeping and scanning.

The seconds flew by, and before we knew it, we went from being sixty to fifteen people away from being forced apart.

My heart clenched and I furrowed my brows and scooped her face up in my hands, forcing her to look at me. She had tears in her eyes, her fingers locked around my wrists.

This was not going to be fucking easy at all.

I wanted to break down. I wanted to literally break down and beg her to stay here with me.

"You know," she giggled through her tears, breaking the silence between us, "strange how you're the person I've hated sometimes, and are now the person I... don't want to..." She started choking on her words and pushed away from my grip, back into my shirt. "You annoy the hell out of me Emmett," she sniffled, shaking her head. "You're loud, and obnoxious, and you think you know it all, all of the time... You never think before you say or do anything, and you've gotten Edward and I in so much trouble... But... Every day with you is eventful. Whether I laugh my ass off, which is most of the time we're together, or cry my eyes out during the sad times. You always make me feel something. You remind me that I'm real."

I bent my knees and pulled her into a tight hug, pushing my face into her neck. I motioned with my hand to let the people behind us go past us in line. Just a few... Give me a few more moments with my friend.

"And," she sobbed, tugging on the ends of my hair, "...I'm afraid that... even though moving to New York is what I think is best for me... that I won't feel as real without you. I mean... how can I, when you hold a piece of me, you know? You're my best friend. You're so wonderful."

I had to be strong for her. She couldn't do this by herself.

I kissed her neck and the side of her face a few times. "You have to do what you have to do," I whispered, forcing myself to believe it. I took her face in my hands again, and wiped her tears with the pads of my thumb. "When we were in tenth grade, you told me once that your dream was to move to New York City and be a fashion designer. This is your dream, Alice. I want you to go for it."

She looked up at me and furrowed her brows, confused. "You remember me telling you that?"

"Yeah," I whispered, my voice much more hoarse now. "You told me that your mom said you'd never make it, that people at school were teasing you because you had on those... whatchamacallit's... those bright pink leotard things under that black leather skirt... and you told me that people in New York didn't care, that it was high fashion, not something that Forks kids would understand. You told me you wanted to go there, where you'd fit in."

She giggled, sniffling, "I cannot believe you remembered that!"

I nodded, brushing the ends of her hair off her shoulders. It was getting long. It looked good on her. "Of course I remember."

Her smile turned to a frown and she jumped, throwing herself in my arms. I held her off the ground as people grumbled and pushed past us.

"I'll love you to the stars and back, a thousand times over," she whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes and reluctantly set her feet back on the ground.

"Go," I whispered, wiping her face one last time. "I'll miss you."

She held my hand until she couldn't, and stood in line while I stepped out of it. I watched as she frowned and fought back tears, just as I did. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest.

"Love you," she whispered, waving to me.

I nodded and smiled at her. I was too choked up to tell her back, though I wanted to. I knew I'd start crying. And crying is something that had happened once in my entire life. Maybe twice.

"Em?" She cried and tilted her head, looking impossibly more sad as the person in front of her stepped through the checkpoint. "Please... come here real quick."

I held my breath and walked to her with my hands in my pockets, leaning into the roped-off area. The guard took in not only my size, but also the look on my face. I must have looked as threatening as a lost child. It's how I felt

She told the person behind to hold her place, then ran over, took my face in her hands, pulled me down, and pressed her lips gently to mine. I was stunned at first, but when our lips molded together, it broke my heart even further. She tasted of watermelon and salt from her tears; everything I'd miss about her. Our lips parted and our tongues collided slowly, nothing desperate or pleading about the way we moved, just loss and love.

We wanted to savor it.

I wished I hadn't gotten out of line, so I could fully wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. I did it as much as I could, and we only broke for air when we needed to breathe. Her fingers wound in my hair, knocking off my hat, but I didn't care. I held her hair as well, pulling her closer to me by the back of her neck.

Stay, I thought to myself, my heart squeezing tightly. Tell her to fucking stay here with you.

All too soon, Alice pulled away from me, and I wasn't sure if she'd been crying or I had, since both our faces were wet.

Tell her the truth, Emmett. Speak the fuck up and tell her what you're thinking. Tell her it can be different.

I opened my mouth, but she quickly covered my lips with her fingers, smiling through the salt and water that glistened in her beautiful eyes. Alice shook her head as the tears fell, and slowly backed away, leaving me where I stood. I quickly bent down and picked up my hat, then tossed it at her. She could keep it since she loved it so much. I had plenty of them.

I watched numbly as she returned to the line and gave her things to the guard, looking back at me every few seconds. The guards scanned her body and had her walk through the machine, and then she looked back at me again.

I wasn't sure what she meant by what she did, but she chose to leave anyway. So it wouldn't matter what I said.

I stayed stiff until she collected her things and rode up the escalator until I couldn't see her anymore.

I was an idiot. I let her go.

And I hated myself for it.

BellaPOV

For the first hour and a half, I sat in silence in Darleene Meade's office, staring off into space.

For days, I had believed that, when the moment came, my mind would be overloaded with all the things I wanted to say to James. But, once there, I was a blank slate. I'd finished my testimony twenty minutes ago, given all the gory facts, dates, and details about the night it all took place and my previous relationship with him. It was easy for me to move out of my body, be a hardened, empty shell, and speak robotically.

But somehow, I knew this would be different. I'd face him. I'd have to be in close quarters with him and, not only would I see his face and hear his voice, but I'd smell him, too. I was scared to death that the smell of him would remind me of the smell of him on me, and I wouldn't be able to stomach it.

I still didn't know if I could handle it at all.

Many times, Darleene or her partners had offered me their assistance, stating they could stand behind me, show me comfort and show him that I was protected from him, remind him not to try anything. But I didn't want them there. Even if my broken mind told me that it'd be easier, I just had to do this by myself. Or else I'd never do it.

I reached down for my phone nervously, opened my messages, and glanced at the last text message Edward sent me ten minutes ago: You're so strong, baby. You remind me every minute. I'm right there with you, Masen and I. You can do it. I love you, and am extremely proud of you. I can't wait until you're back in my arms, safe and sound.

I wanted to write him back. I also wanted to pick up my phone when he called earlier. But I couldn't. I'd save it all for after.

Darleene handed me a cup of water, and I smiled graciously at her. My nerves were taut and the water felt good going down my dry throat.

"What are you thinking?" Darleene asked as she sat on the corner of her desk.

"About my son," I replied hoarsely, with a shrug. "My husband."

"Miss them?"

I nodded slowly, "Every second."

"I bet they're extremely proud of you for doing what you have to do."

I squeezed my phone. The background picture was of Edward and Masen asleep on the couch, with Spendor and Cora on Edward's legs. "I think they are too."

My eyes swelled up with tears and I blinked them away, looking up at the ceiling. "I never imagined I'd be able to do this. I never thought he'd be caught. I'm thankful that he is, but in a way, it saddens me to know that another girl, one who was much younger than me, had the strength to do what I couldn't do. She saved herself and plenty of others, being that courageous. I could never have done it."

"You'd be surprised at what you'll be able to do. Rachel may have turned him in, but she doesn't believe she'll have the strength to face him. She'd never be able to sit a few feet from him and tell him what she thought. And you can."

"I thought I could..."

"You can, Bella. You're your father's daughter. I know how much strength you have in you... It parallels Charlie's, and then some."

I nodded, looking down to my lap, "I miss him every day." My voice was so low, I barely heard the words.

"He was a wonderful man, and he raised a wonderful, brilliant daughter. He's with you forever, Bella."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She left me alone to my thoughts, which I was thankful for. I took a few deep breaths, rubbed my arms fervently, prepared myself. I told myself that even if I could only get a few words out, no matter what those words were, then that'd be enough. I'd do what I set out to do.

"Two minutes," her partner said, as he stuck his head in her office.

"Thanks Alan," she replied, returning to her typing.

My heart felt like lead, pounding down into my stomach. I inhaled and stood up, sticking my phone in my purse. "I'm ready when you are."

She pushed back from her desk and stood up, her keys jingling on her belt. "Great, Bella." She walked over to me and rubbed my arms. "Remember, chin up in there. I'm only a step away, if you need me. He cannot touch you. There will be glass between you. If it's too scary, let me know. Okay?"

"Yes," I replied softly.

Her hand on my back, she led me down the empty, echoing hall. Around corners we went, left and then right, down another stretch, a half-flight of steps, another hall, and to the left. I could take shallow breaths, but that was it. There was a part of me that knew what was coming, and a part of me that just wanted to lay down on the cold ground and breathe for a few hours.

Darleene stopped in front of a door with a tiny square window on it. I didn't dare look through. Not yet.

"Okay Bella," she said with a smile. "You ready?"

I took another deep breath, and blew it out slowly. My body was jittery, my hands clammy. I closed my eyes, gathered my thoughts, and nodded my head slowly.

"I can do this," I stated breathlessly. "I can."

"You can," she reassured me, rubbing my back. "Whenever you're ready, walk through that door. He knows you're here."

"...Okay..." I didn't know if it was a good thing, him knowing I was here. But it didn't matter. I was going to face him either way. I controlled my breathing and relaxed my arms, sticking my hands in the pockets of my black pants.

I didn't have any words of encouragement for myself, no pep talk available. I never imagined I'd be doing this. And yet... here I was. All I had to do was walk through the door.

A smothered smile fell from my lips as I turned to Darleene. "Open it." She studied my eyes for a brief moment, then the door buzzed and opened.

I kept my chin up and walked in, not looking in the direction of the glass. I wasn't breathing at all. I listened to his chair screech across the floor as he adjusted his position . I was here. In his presence.

Don't pass out, Bella.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself, then turned to my right and put my hands on the back of the chair. ...And there he sat

James.

Leaning back in a chair, one leg extended, slouched a little, his head tilted. His short blonde hair a rattled, greasy mess. His eyes were cold, blackened, and hollow as he studied me. I felt them traveling from my waist, all the way to the top of my head. I refused to cringe away, no matter how disgusted I felt.

I held my stance and fought back any sign of tears.

Time passed.

"Well?" was all he said as he stared at me. That disgusting voice brought memories flooding back in waves. Making it all the more real.

My heart dropped an inch. I knew I needed to move, but I didn't want to sit down. I settled with shifting my feet ever so slightly.

I opened my mouth to speak, and took a long breath. Then I finally met his eyes.

It was silent. The air between us was charged with animosity, revulsion and hatred.

I glared at him.

"If you're not going to say anything, Isabella, then don't waste my time. It's precious around here-"

"Just shut up," I whispered, before rounding my shoulders. "Just... shut up. You're on my time, not yours. Not now."

He stared at me intently and actually closed his mouth. He wasn't used to me talking back to him. I never had.

I couldn't rip my eyes off of him, and I could not hide my disgust. I didn't know where this strength was coming from. Two minutes ago, I wanted to cower on the ground. And now, here I was, and all I wanted to do was run through the glass and choke the life out of him. But I couldn't move. All I could do was simply stare for a minute.

My breath hitched, but I quickly found my resolve and straightened my back. I didn't want to feel defeated, no matter how much this hurt. I didn't want him to have time to think.

"I know that after I leave, you're going to do a few things. You're going to put on your stupid attitude, pretend nothing I say has phased you. Tell yourself that you're right and I'm wrong. That you don't care what you did to me, that you still think I deserved it, and you did nothing bad... And I don't give a shit if that's what you do. Because... right now... you have to listen to me."

He straightened his body and leaned closer to me, folding his hands over the half table connected to the glass between us.

He didn't reply.

Only stared.

My animosity heightened. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "You disgust me."

James chuckled and shook his head, sighing annoyingly. Then he glanced back up at me. I didn't move.

"Yeah. That's right. Fucking laugh. Pat yourself on the back for what you've done to me. To all those other girls."

His grin widened. But something flickered behind his mask. I could see the crack in facade.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, James. You're such a big man, such a strong man..."

Before I realized what I was doing, I flipped the chair back against the wall and stormed to the glass, gripping the table in front of me so hard that it made grinding noises against my fingernails. "Let me ask you something, you sick fucking asshole. What kind of redemption do you feel having to force a woman to have sex with you? Hmm? Is that what you get off on? Making them do shit when they begged you not to do it? Let me tell you something right fucking now. You are not a man. You are not strong. You are not powerful. And no matter how many times you fucking accomplished your sick and twisted goal of ruining women's lives, you DID. NOT. WIN."

I leaned closer to the glass, narrowing my eyes, seeing red now. "Do you know what a fucking man is, James? It's not you. You're nothing but a pathetic piece of skin, with no heart and no fucking brains. You pride yourself on victimizing people, so you feel power over them, because you'll never get it any other way. Well you didn't win with Rachel. That young girl turned your ass in, and here you are finally sitting behind bars, where you deserve to be. The only thing I have to tell you is that I am sorry, James."

He tilted his head in question, but didn't dare speak up.

"Yeah. I am sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't fucking kill you myself. I'm sorry that I didn't know my husband wanted to kill you, because had I known that you were there at my family's cabin and said what you said to him, I WOULD have let him fucking kill you. And most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't have the nerve back then to stand up and do what's right, report you my fucking self. Yes, the shit you did ruined a lot of things in my life, including my self-esteem. But you didn't ruin ME. Not all of me."

He was speechless. All he did was blink. No more grinning.

I couldn't tear my eyes from his sickening face. "I am standing here today, in front of your twisted, demented ass, telling you that I am not dead. The scars, the wounds, the flashbacks, I'll live through that and I'll get better. Because living through that means living, period. And that's what I'm doing. I'm free now. I'm free to fucking do what I want, when I want. I have a life, a career, a home. I have a fucking husband who loves me more than everyone else in this entire world, and I have a son who needs me with his every breath. So, yeah. Fucking sit over there and smirk. Grin and convince yourself that you did a fine job, fucking me when I told you no. Fucking those girls when they cried for help. Yeah, you're a proud man. Give yourself a high five. Do whatever it takes to get you through the fucking day, James. I don't give a shit. But you need to know that you didn't win. You didn't break me down. No, I got up. And I'm still up. I will happily struggle through any memory I have of you because no matter how much it brings me down in that moment, I will not let you have the pleasure of seeing me cry, even if you're only in my after-thoughts. Not anymore. Those days are done. And they are never coming back, no matter how many times your sick and mentally disturbed ways try to sneak back into my soul. You're never getting in again."

He tried to speak but I cut him off. "Look me in the eye, James. I want you to stand up and look me in the eye. DO IT."

It took a few minutes, but I stood there, anger rolling off me in waves, and I waited him out.

He eventually stood up and pressed his palms flat on the surface of the table, leaning in to face me. If it weren't for the glass between us, we'd almost be touching.

"I have but one last thing to say to you, and I want you to look at me when I say it. Remember this face. Remember how utterly disgusted I am with you. And remember that I stood here in front of you, with all the strength and the courage that you thought you once took from me, and that I told you, without reservation, to go fuck yourself."

With that, I pushed myself off of the table and walked out without another glance in his direction.

*&*#!#$^%$^

The feeling of opening the front door to the prison and walking down the sidewalk with the officers... it was the ultimate high.

I never expected it. Before this, part of me expected to crawl to Edward's Volvo, wrap myself in the interior, and cry my eyes out.

But there were no tears.

I inhaled the fall breeze, tasted it on my tongue, and said a silent prayer thanking God for giving me the strength and courage to do what I needed.

It was times like these that proved to me even more that He was real and was there for me.

When we crossed through the high electric fences, I shook hands with the officers and gave Darleene a tight squeeze. "I'm very proud of you," she said, still giggling. "I was watching behind the door. The look on that bastard's face was priceless. You hit him like a train, Bella. He never saw it coming."

I exhaled and pulled away.

"I almost wish there were no glass between the two of you," she continued. "I would have paid any amount to let you rip him a new one."

I squeezed her hands, "No... I'm happy it happened just the way it did. My words meant more than me knocking that fucker's head off."

She laughed and hugged me again, telling me she'd be in touch and to drive home safely. I took one final glance at the prison behind me, with all its grime and dank and disgusting, and I smiled to myself. That's where he was going to be. There was no way in hell a judge would let him off with all the evidence against him.

So there he stayed. And there I left.

I almost skipped to the car, so proud of myself. Each breath I took was a deep one, as if my lungs could never get enough. I loved the smell of air. Of car oil. Of birds, and trees, and clouds, and the asphalt below me. Everything seemed so much more beautiful now. It all had new meaning.

I was new again.

When I inched closer to my car, I noticed someone leaning against it, with his hands in his pockets and legs crossed. Dark jeans, grey vest, white shirt, dark jacket, bronzed hair spiked in every timeless direction.

My angel.

The smile on my face grew immensely.

"Edward!" I screamed in shock, running to him as quickly as I could. My heart raced as the distance grew shorter. He pushed off the car and grinned at me, and I threw myself into his arms... and I was home.

Tears leaked from my eyes, but they weren't of anger or resentment from the realities of what just happened. Instead, they were joy, and triumph, and victory, and passion.

Edward was my prize. My gift for defeating my shadows.

"What are you doing here?" I asked breathlessly, latching tighter to his body. My legs, my arms, anything I could, were wrapped around him. I thought he would still be with Alice and Emmett, or at home.

His velvet chuckle filled my ears. "How on earth could I go home or be anywhere else, knowing you'd be here?"

I breathed in his minty, fresh smell, drowned myself in him. I would happily have suffocated, right then and there.

Exhaling slowly, I kissed the side of his neck and face as he slowly lowered me back to the ground. "I love you so much, Edward. So, so much."

"I love you, too," he said calmly, his lips meeting my cheek and eyelids, his hands cupping my face. "I'm not going to ask how it went until you want to tell me. You just need to know I am so proud of you."

"Okay..." I smiled, thankful he understood me the way he did. He was a miracle. "Thank you. Where's Masen?"

"Asleep," he said, motioning beside him. My car was turned on, the air comfortable, my son's head crooked as he slept in his carseat.

I smiled at the pure sight of him and took my husband's hand.

"Home?" he asked with my special crooked grin.

...And sweeter words had never been spoken.

"Home."

AlicePOV

Flying completely across the country was exhausting. Especially by yourself. Especially with the time change.

I hated that I had a layover, and on top of being so sad that I couldn't even eat, I was mentally drained to the max by the time I landed in Chicago. I begged the guy sitting in the seat beside me to wake me up if I fell asleep. He thankfully obliged, obviously understanding the suckiness of traveling long distances.

My carryon bag slipped off the chair onto the ground and I crawled down next to it, wrapping myself in the baby blanket I brought, with the luggage beneath my head. I closed my eyes just to rest, but every time I did I saw flashes of my life. Flashes of growing up with Edward, flashes of Jasper, flashes of my friends, other ex-boyfriends, flashes of high school and college memories, of choices, decisions, mistakes, and regrets in my life,... and a lot of flashes of Emmett's expressions.

That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Leaving my friends and loved ones.

I had imagined saying that final goodbye to Edward would be the hardest I'd have to say. But after finally discussing the raw truth of our situation and, with him being so bluntly honest, I found it... refreshing to walk away. Not that I wouldn't miss the hell out of him, because I would, immensely. But I knew, without a doubt, that it was best that we separate and grow in different directions for a few years.

But Emmett... I didn't expect it to be that hard. I knew he didn't want me to leave and was sad that I was going. But I didn't expect the emotions to rile up so quickly.

I had to force myself to go. More than wanting to stay with Edward, if he had ever chosen me instead of his life with Bella... I wanted to stay with Emmett. Keep him as my best friend. Keep him around me and grow with him.

But the decision had been made, we were in the middle of the airport, and I convinced myself that the aching emotions I felt were natural, and it was truly for the best.

So I went.

And he, and everyone else that mattered to me, stayed behind.

I threw my arm over my face, crossed my ankles, and sighed hard.

It was the right decision. I knew it was. So I couldn't figure out why my body felt this heavy, as if gravity was trying to ground me here.

I didn't belong in Seattle, not like before. I needed the fresh start. It was what I had to do.

*&*#!#$^%$^

It'd been over a year and a half since the last time I visited the big city.

A year and a half since I heard the horns blaring, witnessed the crowded sidewalks, the cramped intersections, and the various hot dog stands. Those things were on every freakin' block. It was much darker here, with the time change.

I stared out my cab window, up the large buildings as far as my neck would crane. "Wow," I whispered, watching them pass by. "...So pretty."

I watched a young girl getting towed behind her mother, wearing Ugg boots, tripping over the curb. Her mother stopped talking on her cell phone to pull her up, then she was right back at it. She didn't even check for marks. The next corner had faces from every continent occupying it, standing in front of a huge tower building. It looked like a rainbow, from albino to black and all the human colors in between. I giggled at the differences and similarities they each held.

Clothes store after clothes store, strip mall after another, tattoo shops, bars, clubs, record labels, Chinese restaurants, Thai restaurants, Mexican restaurants, fancy restaurants, vegan shops, delis, fast food... They had it all. There was so much of everything, mixed all together. Every street had something different. Billboards everywhere. Up high, down the side of buildings, attached to the trash cans.

After a decent car ride, we finally made our way to Fifth Avenue and Central Park South, to the front of The Plaza, aka, my new home. I was automatically greeted, motioned inside with my carryon, signed in, and led up to my room without any wait. That's what I loved about places with money. If you had it, you could get anything with the snap of your fingers. That's what was so great about New York. They wanted to move just as quickly as you did. It was as if Earth itself had a revolving door.

After they showed me around the condominium, I noticed my belongings were already put away, I dropped down on the crisp white sofa and gawked at my beautiful penthouse view, smiling.

I was there. In the city. In my new home.

After I relaxed and took a nice, hot shower, I pulled out my phone. First, I texted Jasper, Edward, and my mom to let them know I had arrived.

Then I dialed slow and rolled my eyes at the stupid lyrics blaring through the speaker; 'Put your right hand out, give a firm hand-shake. Talk to me about that one big break... Spread your ear-pollution both far and wide... Keep your contributions by your side and stroke me, stroke me... Could be a winner boy, you move quite well... Stroke me, stroke me...'

"Yello?"

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, hey," he replied, his voice much more hoarse than when I saw him earlier. "Did you make it there okay?"

"Yep. Got in about an hour ago. How are you?"

"Fine."

I waited. "...Just fine."

"Yeah. What's it like there?"

"It's really nice. Colder than in Seattle. I saw this awesome sports shop being built down on 3rd. They have this really cool 3-D snowboarder hanging from the roof. As soon as I saw it, I thought of you, how you'd like it. The name of the place is 'Skid-Row'. Had a nice ring to it."

"...That's great, Alice."

I bit my lip, my stomach doing nervous flip-flops. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"Be fine, which means... you aren't fine now," I replied. It wasn't a question.

He cleared his throat. "I'm a big boy. No worries over here."

I frowned, trying to figure out how to change the subject, cheer him up. "Em, you really need to change that stupid ringtone thing. Although I can appreciate a good beat... it makes you sound gay."

"How's that?"

"Because, the lyrics, sung by a man, say, "'Put your left foot out, keep it all in place... Work your way right into my face. First you try to bed me you make my backbone slide, but when you found you bled me, skip on by... keep on, stroke me, stroke me...' Come on. He's asking the man to bend him over."

"Maybe I secretly play my cards that way?" he quipped.

"Never," I giggled. "I know a gay man when I see him. You ain't it. Plus, you get laid far too much."

I practically heard him roll his eyes through the phone. "I haven't been laid in weeks, Alice."

"So... are you wanting to turn gay? Is that what you're telling me?"

He sighed heavily. "No, Alice. Sucking dick doesn't appear to be anything appetizing to me. Thanks for asking though."

"I just want you to cheer up. Usually you'd be copping attitude right back at me. How many times have you teased me about being a dyke?"

"If you were, things would be a hell of a lot easier on me," he mumbled.

My chest tightened. I pretended not to hear him.

"...You still there?"

"Yeah... What did you say?"

"Nothin'. Look, I gotta get going. It's getting later, and I have to run to my dad's and grab the keys, then Colleen's bring Alyssa to the club so I can see her."

"Okay," I frowned, feeling quite sad. I didn't want to stop talking yet. "Will you call me later?"

"Yeah, maybe. If not tonight then I'll try tomorrow. Have fun over there, and be safe."

"I will. Love you, bear."

He sighed. "Love you, cat."

After I got off the phone with him, I checked my planner to see what I had to do tomorrow. Shop for a few things for the condo, go see the new building, contact clients, fill out sheets, fitting set-ups, order mannequins, meet my new therapist.... My schedule was going to be slammed for a good while. I liked that. I was going to be busy.

I walked out to my balcony and took a long look outside. The city was gorgeous at dusk. The sounds seemed to filter out, way up here.

All that was left was beauty.

Though my heart hurt because I missed my friends and wondered what could have been if I stayed, I smiled to myself.

And in the city best known for its pollution, smog, and germs, I took my first real actual breath.

I made it on my own.

EmmettPOV

After enduring a long-winded speech given by my father about how I needed to grow up, how he wasn't going to be around much longer and all the clubs were getting passed down to me and how he might be regretting that decision so I needed to prove myself to him, I drove down to Rainn, and let myself into the empty, hollow club.

Everyone knew I could handle this shit. I ran these clubs with my eyes closed. The problem with my father was that he knew I was better than him. And he was dying. And since he was dying, he had to let it all go, had to realize all of his hard work away from me growing up would... still be handed to me. And it would be taken care of without him.

No one in my family knew about Alyssa. No one knew anything about me that didn't involve these stupid investments.

I flipped on a few sets of lights and made my way up the steps, into the office, and dropped down in a chair.

Eight o'clock at night. No friends around. I tried calling Edward, but he didn't pick up. Alice wasn't going to be at my house when I got there.

I was miserable.

I rubbed my face and sighed, trying to figure out how my life got so out of hand. I was a carefree person. I tried to avoid drama.

Why was I the one that was alone?

I twirled a Sharpie pen through my fingers, trying to ignore the ache in my heart. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this depressed. Sure, breaking up with Rosalie and Heather sucked. At Phil's funeral, it was hard to see my friends in pain. But this was something else.

I'd never felt this before, and I didn't like it. It was as if I'd been shot in the chest, as if I'd been torn apart from the inside out.

Was it that my friends were in different places than I was, that I was left behind? That really wasn't their fault. They were just living their lives. I couldn't blame them for that, and I needed to stop thinking that way. I loved my friends. I'd proven time and time again that I would be there for them in a heartbeat, no matter the circumstance.

But that didn't stop me from missing them when their lives became constantly more important. Regardless of how selfish that sounded.

I just wanted someone, just something solid that I could hold onto, when my life got hectic. Because this pain in my body sucked. And no one was here to pull me out of the flood.

I sighed and threw the pen on the desk.

...I missed Alice.

That was the big one. Regardless of Edward's new adjustments, I knew that it wouldn't be hard to get to him if I wanted to see him, or vice-versa. But she was all the way across the country. And she needed time to herself.

But I still missed her. I knew this heartbreak was over her.

I had a feeling that letting her go would be hard. I wasn't aware that it'd destroy me.

For the first time in years, I felt a sullen tear fall straight from my eye, down to my hand. I looked at it, the liquid bubble next to my thumb, and exhaled through the hurt. See dad? I thought to myself. I am capable of feeling something real.

*&*#!#$^%$^

I'd thrown myself into paperwork and receipts, pressing piles and crunching numbers, trying to distract myself from feeling anything. I didn't hear anyone come in.

"Hello?" My head popped up and my heart kickstarted, until I realized it was now nine, and Colleen was there with Alyssa. "Up here," I called out from the door. "Come on up."

I listened to the clicking noise of heels on the metal steps as they made their way up to the office. The smell of orange sherbert and vanilla caught my nose, and then I turned to find Colleen and Alyssa, breathless, walking into the office. Colleen in skinny, light faded blue jeans and a frilly blue sleeveless shirt and red heels, and Alyssa wearing a brown, 'Sassy Girls Rock' hoodie with a pink heart thermal beneath it, dark brown corduroys, and flats with pink hearts on them.

"Wow," Colleen exhaled. "Hard getting up all those steps!"

"Yeah, three and a half stories gives you exercise when they wind around like that," I smirked as she took a seat across the desk from me and pulled Alyssa into her lap.

"I'd hate to fall down them."

I threw the paperwork to the side and leaned in my chair, smiling at her. "I've done it, once. Wasn't fun."

She giggled, brushing her fingers through Alyssa's long hair. "How'd that happen?"

"Edward and I were high about a year and a half ago. Thought it'd be great to chase after some tail. My father hired a bunch of girls for the sky swings, and they were hot. We were trying to be suave, and I missed a step. It wasn't fun."

She shook her head, "Serves you right."

I shrugged and turned my attention. "Hi Alyssa."

"Can you say 'hi'?" Alyssa smiled slightly then shied away, into her mom's shirt, rubbing her eyes. "She's sort of cranky today. She didn't get the toy she wanted. Threw a tantrum."

"What was the toy?"

"A Barbie pool thing... She loves Barbies."

"Barbies have pools? Like real ones?"

"Yeah, and you push this button and it squirts water in the air, like a waterfall. But someone didn't eat all her dinner, and she knew the rules. No dinner, no Barbie pool."

I frowned at Alyssa in sympathy. "Gotta start eating, Alyssa."

She hid her face completely.

"Okay," Colleen giggled. "So... are you sure you want to take her all night, considering the sassyness?"

"I'm sure."

"Well, this bag has all her overnight things she'll need. She gets scared sometimes, so there's two nightlights packed. Snacks, vitamins, toothbrush, hairbrush, bubble bath, Johnson's shampoo, you name it-"

"Colleen," I smiled. "I got it."

"Are you sick?"

"Huh?"

"Your voice... it's hoarse."

"No," I shook my head quickly and stood up. "No, I'm fine. Alice left for New York and I dealt with my dad. I'm just a little tired."

"Are you certa-"

"I'm positive," I reassured her. "I got your number. I can call you if anything happens."

"Okay. I'm not doing much tonight, so it'll be easy for you to reach me."

"Cool."

Colleen stood up and put Alyssa on her feet, before kissing her head. "Are you going to be good tonight? Hmm?"

Alyssa shrugged. I laughed.

Colleen sighed. "Okay... I'm gonna go then. Like I said, she ate a little but she might be hungry in an hour. Bedtime's usually by ten, but it's up to you. And if you're both still alive tomorrow, then I will see you around one?"

"Yep."

Colleen kissed her daughter a few times then gave me a hug. "You'll do great," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, baby."

Alyssa waved with one hand she pulled away from her face, then covered it right back up and sat in the chair. I put my hands in my pockets, and listened as Colleen exited the building. Alyssa peeked through her fingers. I smiled. "There you are." She covered her face again quickly, making me laugh out loud. Kid had humor.

"I'm wrapping up here, and then what do you say we sneak off to Sonic and get a juicy, greasy, unhealthy hamburger and a milkshake?" She nodded fast, not moving her hands. I saw her smiling behind them though. "Okay... Feel free to look around the room. Tear it up if you want."

After a few minutes of stillness, she dropped her hands and looked around the glass walls and ceiling. "Do can see frew the walls."

"Mmhmm," I said, putting stuff away in the safe. "Pretty cool huh?"

"Tould get hurt."

I looked at her, dumbfounded. What kind of kid worried about getting hurt? "Nah, the glass is thick. It would take a lot of strength to go through it."

"But su did fall down da steps."

"Oh, you heard that huh?"

"Yep."

I held out my hand for her, which she took tentatively. "Can I pick you up?" I asked. "It's much harder walking down the steps then coming up." She thought about it for a moment, then nodded. She weighed next to nothing. We made our way out of the club and out to my car. "I like dis," she said as I stuck her inside my Mustang.

"I like it too."

"Gween is my favwite color."

"I think it's my buddy Edward's too."

Alyssa blushed as I buckled her in. Then she whispered, "I wike him."

I laughed and then sighed. "Get in the back of the line, sugar."

*&*#!#$^%$^

After we got our food, we made our way to my empty house. My insides hurt as I realized just how empty it was going to be. But I tried not to think about it.

I was an adult, for Christ's sake. I needed to stop pitying myself.

It took about half an hour before Alyssa warmed up to being in my house without her mom. But once I suggested building a tent, she loosened immensely. We pulled mountains of sheets from the closet, draped them over chairs, tables, couches, end tables, lamps... anything we could. Then I designed a cool arch up to the tv, and held the sheets on top of it by the cabinet doors.

Our private theater.

We layed down on the floor and watched her favorite movie, Bambi, slurping on our milkshakes. We didn't talk too much, but that was okay. I wanted her to be comfortable and knew she'd speak when she was ready.

After Bambi was The Lion King, and then Sleeping Beauty. Alyssa didn't make it ten minutes into that one before she turned into a sleeping beauty herself. I pulled us from the covers and took her into the spare bedroom across from the one Alice used to occupy. She didn't wake up when I pulled her shoes off. I plugged in both her nightlights, one by her bed and one in the bathroom attached to her room.

Then I made my way into my room, took a quick hot shower, and crashed.

*&*#!#$^%$^

I thought I was dreaming at first when I heard sniffling. But when it didn't go away, I popped up off the pillows with a gasp and blinked around the room. There Alyssa stood, stiff as a board, holding a blanket her mom packed for her and a teddy bear. "Hey," I whispered dryly, flicking on the light. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, and her eyes welled up with tears. "Scared," she whispered

I took a deep breath and caught a glance at the clock. It was after four in the morning. There was no way I could call Colleen now.

"What were you scared of?"

She shrugged, wiping her eyes in the corner of the blanket. Every once in a while, she mumbled "mommy".

I pondered for a moment. I didn't want to cop-out and prove that I couldn't take care of her. I could. I would.

"Would you... want to sleep in here, with me? I have a pretty big bed..."

She looked around the room then walked closer to my bed. I pulled her up over the covers and moved back to give her plenty of room, and make plenty of room between us. I still didn't know the laws when it came to closeness of kids. I figured it was okay for kids to sleep in their parents rooms... But I wasn't for sure. So I pussied out and called Edward. And he laughed at me.

"Of course, dumbass," he said, still half asleep. "It's no big deal. Let her snuggle up to you. You're a big guy. She'll feel safe."

"Alright," I sighed. "I just wanted to make sure."

"You're doing fine," he yawned. "Stop overthinking shit. Call me if you need me. I'll put my phone on vibr-" His voice cut off for a second, "Hmm? Nothing baby, just Emmett. Go back to sleep... Hey, Em. Really. Breathe. Be her dad."

We hung up and I looked down at Alyssa, who lay on her side and blinked up at me. I lay down tentatively beside her and looked over at her. "It's okay," I reassured her. "I'm right here, okay? You're safe. Nothing's gonna get you."

She nodded.

"Do you like your bear? Does he protect you?"

She nodded again.

"You know, my best friend Alice, her nickname for me was 'Emmybear'. Because my first name is Emmett. So... in a way... I'm a bear too. I can help your bear protect you, if you want? Two bears can be better than one..."

She stared at me for a moment, eyes wide. And, then they slowly relaxed, and her breathing calmed, and her eyes closed.

Alyssa fell right back asleep with a little smile on her face. One that was eerily similar to a smile I often showed. She really was a mini-me.

*&*#!#$^%$^

Alyssa and I woke up late. I helped give her a bath, which turned out to be a lot of fun once I relaxed and Bella told me over the phone what I was supposed to do.

We played with her toys together, me putting on my best 'Ken' voice. She laughed a lot in the tub, and I noticed how easy-going she was around me today.

She instructed me herself on how to brush her hair. I tried really hard. It was difficult figuring out that you have to start at the top and work your way down, or it will get tangled. After a few screams and whimpers, and once scolding from her, I figured out not to brush the bottom again. I didn't like it when she yelled at me. She had a mouth on her like her mother.

After that, she watched cartoons while I did the dishes, and then, after another call from Bella, I began making blueberry waffles.

I only burned seven before one came out right. I called the morning a success.

After that, we ate at the kitchen table, and she fed a few pieces to her bear, before calling me "Emmett".

I quickly corrected her, asking her if she was alright with not calling me by my first name... unless she absolutely wanted to.

"But what do I call you den?" A fair question, but what did I tell her.

"What about daddy... if you're comfortable with it, that is?"

"Meh," she shrugged. "Boring."

"Just Dad?"

She shook her head. She started picking at her food, every once in a while, scrunching her forehead, like she was thinking very hard about something. She dropped the conversation completely, though..

It wasn't until after we straightened up her toys, got her stuff together, and Colleen was at my front door that she told me, in her own way, what she was thinking so hard about.

All she did was squeal, run over and kiss me on my cheek -- which shocked the hell out of me and her mother -- and whispered, "Bye Poppabear."

I couldn't even say goodbye, I was a frozen solid.

After they rushed out of the house, I blinked and chuckled to myself.

That little girl just won me over. Completely.

She was my new home. And I would be hers.

Two Weeks Later

BellaPOV

I watched Ryan pass by my office before he popped off of the mouth.

"Oh my fucking God! Someone! Quick! Call the fire department! Hot meat, hot meat! It's Bella Swan! Coming to save us all from a boring day at work! She reigns, she reigns!"

Of course, he had everyone's attention on the floor, who were all now watching us through the windows of my office.

Well, everyone knew I was back now. Cue blush.

He ran through the joining door of our offices, clapping his hands way too loudly. "Welcome back."

"It's Cullen," I corrected him. "And thanks."

He gave me a quick hug and sat in front of me on my desk, on top of my paperwork. "How ya been? All healed up down there?"

I glared at him. "I'm good."

"Are you sure? Need me to check things out for ya?"

I continued to stare, unphased. "You're still an ass, I see."

"You love me."

I changed the subject. "How's everything going around here?"

He sighed, rolling his head around for dramatic effect. "Boring. Bland. Abashed. But... getting warmer, now that I got my fucking partner back."

I grinned at him. "It feels good to be back."

"How's the great and wonderful doctor handling his wife being here with her entire body at work, instead of being at home with just her nipple doing it all?"

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair. "Ryan. Every time I think you're sort of sweet, you just... fall right back off the cliff."

He snapped his brilliant white teeth together and grinned wide. "I have fucking weeks of make-up time to get through. I've missed the hell out of you. Working with Colleen is draining."

"What are you talking about? Colleen's great."

He gawked at me. "She didn't even know how to use the fax machine a week ago, Bella. She's worked here way too long to be that fucking dumb."

"Piss off, Ryan. You're full of shit. And don't forget, you had to teach me how to use that damn thing once upon a time." He grinned devilishly and I bit my tongue. Shit. I knew where this conversation was heading. I just enriched his memory with Ryan and Bella moments, pre--Edward VS 2.0. Back when we used to mess around. Damn it Bella.

"We... did have some fun... tuning up and turning on that dear old fax machine, hmmm? Wanna show me that tattoo of yours again?"

"I'm a happily married woman now, Ryan. Go find someone else to annoy."

"I only enjoy annoying you."

"And I'm growing immune to your antics."

Ryan leaned closer, his bright crystal blue eyes sparkling. "No you're not. I think you secretly enjoy it. In fact... wanna go have some sex in that mail office again?"

I took a deep breath before walking around and closing my door, before I turned back and glared at him. My hands fell to my hips. "Look Ryan. I like you and you know that. You're great to work with, and you're funny, and smart. But you cannot keep this sexual innuendo going. I know you're a natural flirt and yeah, maybe sometimes I am too. But things have changed. Don't keep pushing the innuendo with me. I won't put up with it. And, the last thing that you want to do is piss off my husband, trust me. And talking about you and I having sex in the mail room -- which we did not have sex in, by the way-"

"Close enough," he shrugged. "We were right there, you know just how far we went that night, and I do believe it was you who was begging me to enter you. 'Mmmmm.... yes, Ryan... please... do it, want you'-"

"Which we did not," I sneered, continuing my statement. "Now. You can behave yourself and gain a little more perspective, drop the perversion, or... we should find different partners."

He studied my eyes, tilting his head slowly.

I didn't move, staring straight into his eyes

He straightened up. "Fine. I'll... gain some perspective, and cut back on the perversion and flirting. But I can't do it a hundred percent. And I know you don't want to work with Jay Marshall, who you'd be stuck with if you drop me. You know how he is about spitting when he talks and picking his nose when he eats Subway sandwiches. Take that or leave it."

I crossed my arms.

He crossed his.

"Fine."

"Fine."

I sighed and walked back around, dropping back into my chair.

Ryan took the next two hours getting back to business. He focused on reports, giving me break-downs, showing me slideshows on the computer of our progress and delay. He showed me the new accounts, backdrops, plans, advertising slogans, money we were getting on loan for the accounts.

This was why it was awesome working with Ryan, much better than anyone else. When he focused, he focused well, and was on top of the game. He was better than everyone else, and for good reason. He was intelligent as hell and slick as ice. He had the perfect package for advertising.

The narcissism was just an annoying bonus.

"And," he yawned, throwing a baseball in the air and catching it, "that about does it."

He sat across from my desk now, his feet propped up on the corner of it.

"Wow," I exhaled, dropping my pen on the folder. "Did I really miss that much?"

"I told you that babies change everything."

"Yeah... But that's okay. It's my life. I love my son."

"Yep."

"You should try having kids, Ryan. Might calm you down a little, kind of like when a dog gets neutered?"

He scoffed. "Please. I'm sure Edward will still flirt when he's at work. Men will never calm down. Which is why our balls stay put until the day we die. Besides, the only pet I've had is a gerbil, and it lasted two days, before it fell in my toilet. I didn't know until hours later. It was dead..." He pondered for a moment, tapping the pen cap to his chin, "...I wonder if he would have made it out alive, if I actually flushed that day."

"Ugh," I squirmed, shaking my head, "you're so sick."

He grinned and stood up, leaning over my desk. "Welcome back, Mrs. Cullen."

*&*#!#$^%$^

Being in meetings for Mozilla was hard. After Ryan told Edward and I at the house that we may be getting this account, I had dreams about it, I was so excited.

But I never imagined how much hard work it would be.

I stared at the mountain of paperwork in front of me, which also spread out evenly in front of Ryan beside me, all the way around the circular table at which sat the team who would now be working under us. There were so many documents, contracts, guidelines, and floor plans to go through, laws to abide by, meetings and press conferences and detours coming that I felt my insides twist when I realized how much responsibility, time, dedication, and sacrifice it would be, taking on this monster of an account. Overwhelming became the understatement of the century.

Ryan's eraser nudged the side of my leg, and I snapped my head to the left to find his eyes questioning me.

We were in the middle of a lecture. Mr. Collberry was hard at work, showing us the latest slideshow up on the wall.

So I mouthed, "I'm okay" to him, which he accepted with caution. I knew he didn't believe me. Hell, I didn't believe myself.

By the time the meeting wrapped up, I had less than an hour inside the building to get some sketches together, ideas mapped out, and taglines prepared to present to my team of twenty tomorrow. I was on deadline. And I had no idea where to start.

Ryan walked beside me down the hallway, and I felt my breath grow labored. I was going to start panicking. I felt it coming quickly.

I grabbed hold of Ryan's wrist and halted, leaning against the wall closest to me.

"Whoa." He caught my hips to stop me from swaying. "Bella? You all right?"

I shook my head, stirring the air in front of my hot face with my hand. "I don't know if I can handle this account, Ryan. It's too much right now."

"What do you mean?" he said, stepping closer. He pulled his water bottle from his briefcase and handed it to me, which I chugged gratefully.

"I don't know," I exhaled when I finished it. "I just... Time away from Edward... from Masen... Edward's a medical intern. His schedule's over-demanding as it is, and he can't afford to miss any days until he's completed the shadow program with Dr. Sherber. I just don-"

"Bella, do you love your job?"

"Yes."

"And did you miss it most days you were gone on maternity leave, before you had your son?"

I frowned, and nodded. "Yes."

"And every day you thought about it, dream-"

"Yes, Ryan," I sighed.

"Then don't you dare think about walking away. Remember how you told me about how pissed you were when he asked you to cut back your hours? How you said you'd gone to college for too long, how you always dreamed about this position and were upset with him when he asked you to practically give that up?"

I nodded.

"Like you said, it's your life. Masen is a part of your life, Edward is too. But this career, this dream of yours... You cannot give it up. I'm not just saying this so you'll stick around and work with me. I'm saying it because it's true. You'll regret it every day if you give this up. You'll never get it back. You're at the top of your game right now, Bella. It's just going to take some time getting back into the swing of things. But I know you can do it. I know you can. I wouldn't work with anyone who couldn't pull their own weight around here. You know you want this. You just have to adjust."

This was why I liked Ryan. He was way more than the asshole he could be at times. He was a true friend to me.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I want this. I only worry that I'm going to lose time away from Masen."

"You can do it," he reassured me, holding my shoulders. "You can, Bella. You know your strength."

I thought back through the past nine months of my life. The whirlwind I'd been through, the changes I'd made and things I had accomplished. Right now, in my life, everything I ever wanted was in my hands. Every single thing. Great husband. Great son. Great house. Great friends. Great career.

Why in the hell was I complaining again?

I nodded and pushed off the wall, giving him a triumphant smile. "I can do this."

He grinned and threw his arm over my shoulders, and walked me back toward my office, "There's the determined tiger we all know and love. Now come on, let's get this shit done so I can fill you in on the date I had last night."

EdwardPOV

I massaged the back of my neck and took a deep breath, staring at the computer before me. I missed my son. I missed my wife. Work sucked today and I did not want to be here. I just wished this idiotic punishment would go away. I understood that I did something (or a few things) wrong, but how many times do you have to stick me with the "I told you so" speech.

Someone sat down beside me and held out a Hershey's bar. "Eat up, buttercup."

I rolled my eyes and glared over at Anna, who was way to perky in the mornings, and all afternoon. "That shit hurts your teeth."

"It's really good though..." she stated, waving the bar around my face. "Chocolate makes you happy."

"Says who?"

"Says me. Eat up, Doctor Cullen. Nurse's orders."

Exhaling my annoyance, I opened the stupid package and snapped off a piece, shoving it in my mouth. "Mmm," I stated sarcastically, chewing animatedly. "This is wonderful."

"Told ya," she grinned, ignoring my sarcasm, breaking off her own piece. "It'll cheer you up in no time."

"I don't want to be cheered up," I replied after I swallowed, CTRL+Tabbing over to the field screen so I could enter some more data. "I want to go home. Bella should be getting off work soon."

"Look, Doctor C, I realize that this is your wife's first day back on the job and you're forced to leave your son with your mother for a few hours between yours and her shifts. I get it. But your mother isn't going to throw the baby off the balcony. The baby is way too young to crawl around and fall into a pool, or a lake, or a pond. The dogs are not going to eat the baby…."

"You don't know Spendor's history with things left on the floor," I mumbled under my breath, smirking a little in spite of myself.

"…so... you need to stop worrying," she continued, again ignoring my quip. "Your mother raised you alright, didn't she?"

"But, I…" I tried to answer.

"Yes, she did. So give her the benefit of the doubt and stop being so damned anal."

"Anal is what I do best."

She paused and looked over at me, holding a piece of chocolate in front of her open mouth. I replayed my words in my head and my smirk became full blown laughter.

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't," Anna rolled her eyes and grinned knowingly at me. Then she slapped some paperwork down. "For you, my darling sir."

I reached over her and grabbed another piece of chocolate, earning a smug grin. "Thanks."

Hours after we settled into a quiet routine of filing work, stamping paid-off's, and answering the non-stop, annoying phone, Bree, Aimee, and a few other nurses sat down behind us to do their own work. I twirled in my seat, needing a break, and handed Aimee the stack of reports I'd just finished entering, "For you. Second drawer, third cabinet please."

She smiled and popped off her chair, sticking them in for me. "Wanna take a smoke break?" she mouthed, so all the other nurses wouldn't see. I nodded and she left without a word. Three minutes later, we found ourselves across from each other at the picnic table in the smoke shack, me pulling in the nicotine as deep as I possibly could.

"How are you?" she asked, noticing my antsy movements.

"Good," I exhaled the smoke away from her face. "I'll be better when I can go home."

"You know, I'm off the clock now," she stated. "And you're only covering nursing duties. I can take over your shift for you, if you want to leave and see Bella and Masen."

"I appreciate the offer, but it won't look good if I leave early. I never really leave or call in."

"I know, but maybe you should? You've done most of your work anyway. I really don't mind the extra hours, now that I have a whole house payment to make myself."

"How's it going by the way?"

"Really well," she beamed. "I get to decorate it how I want -- with what little money I have left over from each check -- and I get to cook what I want and watch what I want and go to bed when I want. I don't have to answer to anyone or ask for anyone's say in anything. It's nice to really be on my own."

"You needed that, I think. You needed the liberties of freedom."

She looked down and smiled to herself. "I really owe you and Bella, a lot. If you ever need a babysitter or anything-"

I laughed, "Thank you, we appreciate it. We were simply helping out a friend. No need to get all girly emotional on me."

She snapped her head up and gawked at me. "Ugh! I hate it when you say that to me."

"Well then stop being girly emotional and I won't have to s-" My voice was cut off by a set of knuckles to my shoulder.

"I don't know why Bella married you." She rolled her eyes, trying to stab me with her words to get even. "She must have been drugged at the proposal and the wedding. You are not right."

"So a minute ago you were thanking me for being so generous and now you're insulting me?"

"Yes."

"There you are, doing it again. Girly emotional. My perfect example." She punched me harder this time and I laughed out loud. "With rage blackouts, apparently."

"I hate you sometimes."

"Most people do."

*&*#!#$^%$^

"Doctor Cullen. Please come into my office."

Scotty, Jonsen, and Andrew whistled and blew kissing noises in my direction. I threw a stack of folders at them, before walking around and entering Doctor Sherber's office.

She unbuttoned her white jacket and sat it neatly on her chair before taking a seat. "Sit, Doctor Cullen."

I sat.

Aubrey folded her hands on her desk, and studied me for a moment.

I smiled wearily at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Let me ask you a question, Doctor Cullen."

"Okay."

"Do you find me... dumb?"

"No," I answered quickly.

"Blind?"

"Unfortunately not," I chuckled. "Or people would be trying to get away with murder around here."

"Unable to do my job?"

"Uhhh... no? May I ask why you're asking-"

"No you may not. You're job is to sit there and answer questions."

I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Alright."

"You and Jonsen started the same day. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And you two talk a lot. You're pretty close, yes?"

"We're close enough for a work atmosphere. We don't really socialize outside of work as much as we used to when we first started working here..."

She nodded slowly, pursing her lips. "What about Bree?"

"Bree started nursing here a year after us. I don't talk with her at all outside of work."

"Have you witnessed them working together?"

"Occasionally, when she shadows him and he's not under supervision of his own."

"Mmhmm," she sighed. "How do you like working as a nurse, Doctor Cullen? Filing paperwork, sorting exams, dealing with stubborn computers, answering phones all day?"

I furrowed my brows at the erratic movement in this conversation, "Uhhh... I hate it?"

She smiled at my honesty. "So I'm assuming you'd like nothing more than to be back here, doing your normal shifts, handling patient cases again and progressing in your career?"

"More than anything."

"Well, I spoke with your professors, and all your paperwork, tests, everything you're doing with Skype classes are coming through with ninety-eight percent average..." Aubrey paused, inhaling slowly. "Do you feel you are ready for the responsibility and dedication that resuming your previous duties would entail?"

"I do."

She studied me. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Even with a new baby and your wife back at work?"

"Yes."

She nodded. "You are aware you'll be assigned two permanent nurse supervisees whom you will handpick yourself and be responsible for, when you resume your regular position?"

I sat a bit straighter in my chair. "I was not aware of that duty. I do not recall you bringing that up with me before my suspension. But... I'm aware now."

"Another chain of command," she shrugged. "I'm beneath someone who's under someone else. You're beneath me, they're beneath you, and volunteers are beneath them. How can you be a doctor if you cannot earn respect from the nurses that will be working under you in an emergency situation, or any situation at all?"

"I can be that doctor," I replied, probably a bit too sternly. But I was ready. Every bone in my body wanted to be back on that floor, not behind a desk. It had been months now. "I will be."

Aubrey nodded, not even bothering to smile. "Do you know who you are going to pick for your team?"

"Do you have any recommendations?"

"Are you asking me to do your job for you, Doctor Cullen?"

"No," I answered quickly, hating the mind games. "No, I am merely asking the advice of my mentor who has greater experience working with the nurses in question. I think it important to evaluate someone's opinion other than my own to get the full picture." Well, I hated the mind games I couldn't play.

She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "It will be your job to choose your team. If you can monitor all of the nurses today -- there's twenty on the floor -- and come back with two files for me, and if all your paperwork is done efficiently and there are no complains turned in about you, then tonight before you leave, you will resume your regular position in my hospital. You will be on a thirty-day watch though. No screw ups. Do you understand?"

I fought back the grin and the urge to launch myself out of the chair. "I appreciate it, Doctor Sherber. I will do my best. You won't be disappointed."

"There's just one more thing you will be doing tonight, Doctor Cullen."

"Anything."

"Jonsen and Bree are permanently dismissed from this hospital. It will be your job to inform them and escort them out."

My eyes widened and my stomach twisted erratically. "Um... May I ask why?"

"Rumors have been flying for weeks about the two of them being involved sexually, specifically instances here at the hospital. They've constantly denied it. Today I noticed they were both missing, and after going on a wild goose chase, I had someone come to me in confidence and tell me that they witnessed them... together... So," she exhaled, shaking her head in disappointment. "I reviewed tapes. They're caught."

I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, wanting to throw up. I couldn't have been more thankful that Aimee and I were careful when our affair was happening. "Wow," I exhaled raggedly. "That is... sad and unexpected. I hadn't paid attention to too many of the rumors flying around here."

"And you shouldn't, nor should anyone else but me. Look, rumors are rumors. I've heard ones about you and Aimee, Scotty and Aimee, Scotty and Anna, you and Anna, me and Scotty, Andrew and Bree, the list goes on and on. We're work very closely and under a lot of stress and friendships are expected to be born along with the babies. It's when things become more than friendship and there is solid evidence to go with it that... we have a problem. When I questioned both Jonsen and Bree about this, they both flat-out denied it. And lying and sneaking behind my back is not something I'm willing to tolerate."

"I understand completely, Doctor Sherber."

"So handle your business. Bring me two files. Then you'll have to do the jobs that I ask you to do."

I stood up, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Doctor Sherber... May I ask why you're waiting for me to dismiss them later? Why are you keeping them on the clock?"

Aubrey sighed in defeat. "Bree has a one-year old at home that she's raising alone. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, since this will be her last paycheck."

"And Jonsen?"

She shrugged, "He's your friend, and you're here to do the job you're designed for. I want to make sure you can handle all aspects of this job. Sometimes, it involves unpleasant situations with people we like."

I understood immediately and thanked her before walking out. As much as this sucked, as much as the realization of 'this could have been me at one point' swarmed over my head, it wasn't me. I had a job to do. He would have done the same thing if he were in my position back then.

The day dragged on, but I made sure everything I turned in was A+ effort. I felt energized now. Hopeful again.

It saddened me whenever I worked with Bree, knowing she had no idea what was coming. I thought a few times about telling her early, preparing her. But then she may walk out early, and I could get into more trouble. So I didn't do anything until I was told.

After my nurses were picked and everything was finished, I rejoined Aubrey in her office. After she reviewed all of my paperwork and reports, she took a long look at the files I handed her, thinking to herself. I stood there patiently and waited.

"Okay," she smiled, standing up and shaking my hand. "Welcome back, Doctor Cullen."

"Feels good to be back."

"Take tomorrow off, my treat. Return rested, and ready to see patients. I'll be supervising you, and they'll be shadowing. Be prepared. Study up if you have to."

"Certainly."

She grinned at me. "Go, do what you're supposed to do. Don't forget to inform your picks of their pay raise and new duties."

Escorting Jonsen and Bree out of the office was painful. I apologized immensely for having to do it. Bree cried. Jonsen was silent, but I saw the smoke coming from his ears, the white around his knuckles in the elevator. Bree gave me a tearful hug before she stalked off to her car in tears. I frowned at Jonsen, who unleashed a little on me on the 'could have been you' situation. I reminded him that it wasn't me, and kept my opinions about how he should have been more careful to himself. He told me to go fuck myself before he stormed to his car, punching a trash can on his way.

Anna and Aimee squealed and practically attacked me with a bearhug. I picked them for multiple reasons. I was the closest to them. I knew they both had the drive, willpower, and ability to do the job. I knew they wouldn't let me down. And I knew that, without a doubt, they'd pick me. We worked well together and I knew I could rely on them.

*

*

*

* * * Four Months Later * * *

BellaPOV

"Thank you for coming," Edward said, greeting our therapist, Alicia Parker. I adjusted Masen in my arms behind him. "Welcome to our home, finally."

"It is gorgeous," Alicia replied as Edward took her jacket and led her down the steps to our living room, where Masen's playpen and toys were scattered. "Very beautiful."

"Thank you," I replied as they both took a seat and I handed our squirming son to his father. "Would you care for something to drink?"

"That'd be wonderful. Whatever you're having is fine."

"Brewed iced tea?"

"Perfect," she smiled. I squeezed Edward's shoulders and skipped in to the kitchen, filling up three cups and a bottle. Masen definitely showed his appreciation by bouncing on his father's lap as I handed it to Edward. Edward smirked and adjusted Masen so I could sit beside him while he gave him the bottle. Masen's hands fell to Edward's, and, once he was certain of Masen's hold, Edward's hands let go, letting him hold the bottle himself.

After we got comfortable, we began our session. It made me sad, in a weird way, that this was the final one. We'd grown close with Alicia, spending so much time together at her office. She was a wonderful therapist, mainly because she didn't act like one. It was easy to talk with her.

"Okay," Alicia smiled, "Today, I just want to do a short, quick review. See what we've learned with our time spent together. Edward, to start, why don't you tell me something simple about Bella, that not a lot of people know."

Edward smirked, "She talks in her sleep. A lot. It's very interesting to listen to her."

I nudged him playfully and he wrapped his free arm around me, pulling me into his side. I was thankful that he didn't go into details about what I dreamt last night. He told me this morning while we were getting ready for work. Apparently, I was begging him to have sex with me. Good thing he woke me up, or I would have missed out on the waking version of that dream, which was so much better.

"And Bella?"

I snapped out of my daydream, blushing slightly. "Edward has a major OCD about cleanliness. Not just around the house or his car, but with his own body. Between showers, hand-washing, brushing his teeth... it's exhausting just watching how much he does it."

"I've always been like that though, you know that."

"I know, but she said something a lot of other people don't know."

Alicia grinned. "Edward, what in your opinion is Bella's best physical and emotional trait?"

"Oh God," Edward chuckled, scratching his head and adjusting Masen on his lap. "It's hard to choose. Physically, her... well, this week, I've been quite the ass man, constantly staring at hers and wanting to touch it and rub it, so I'm going to say that." He threw that crooked grin at me and the devil was in his eyes.

"And emotionally, she's very nurturing, very sweet. Always taking care of things. She's wonderful with Masen, and with me. Like... if I have a headache, she'll be right there, babying me. She doesn't forget that I'm here and it's not all about Masen. She has found an amazing balance of things." There was pride in his voice, and I smiled.

"And Bella?"

"Edward's is... his smile, definitely. There's so many things that smile can do for me. Like I come home from work and I'm tired and exhausted and want to go to bed. But then he greets me at the door with my favorite smile, and it makes my entire day. And emotionally, Edward... probably the way he puts us first. It's the little things that mean the most. Like the fact that he brings me flowers every Sunday, different colors and types of flowers. Or he'll run a hot bubble bath for me when he can sense I need to relax. He always volunteers to help with Masen, changing his diapers, feeding him, caring for him. He's very involved with him every day, and that makes me love him more."

Edward leaned in and kissed the side of my hair.

"Edward, what's the best thing about being a parent?"

"Seeing Ducky grow daily. Every day, it's something new... a new expression... a new smile," Edward smiled at our son, who stared back up at him with wide green eyes. "He's a very calm baby... I imagine him growing up and being into music, he responds so easily to it. It seems to relax him and soothe him, like it did me. And, since it is a passion of mine, I really am looking forward to teaching him."

"Ducky?"

I grinned at her. "It's Edward's nickname for Masen. He says that when he was a newborn, he sounded like a duck when he cried, because he'd use so much of his voice that his throat would get raw, and it was more like a 'quack' than a 'wah'."

Edward grinned. "He likes it." Masen pulled away from the bottle and smiled up, kicking his feet. Edward bent down and kissed him, pretending to suck on the bottle. "Mama's milk tastes gooooodddd, hmm? Will you share with me?" Edward smacked his lips together, "Mmmmm.... Thank you, buddy."

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Alica, who was giggling. "See what I have to put up with?"

"If this is what you have to deal with, I'd consider myself lucky."

I smiled wider at her, "I am very lucky."

Edward's arm around me dropped behind my back, and his hand massaged my stomach. I held it there and smiled at him. Butterflies always came when he touched me there.

"Edward, what was the hardest thing about being away from Bella before the two of you got back together? Do you remember?"

He nodded.

"What was it?" Alicia pried.

"Breathing."

I snuggled closer to him, and rubbed Masen's stomach. It still pained me when I thought about our pasts. Although I tried to forget all about the last four years of my life, one of the most valuable things Alicia had taught us both was that we wouldn't be where we were today without those four years. I didn't want to remember it, but I wouldn't forget, either.

"What was it for you, Bella?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes. If I wasn't looking down at my son who was displaying his father's crooked smile, I would have probably cried. The pain was all too familiar. "Probably... not having anything to look forward to, feeling like there was no future. Wanting to stay in bed, not wanting to go anywhere or talk to anyone. When I did have to be somewhere, it was fake conversations, pretending to pay attention, nodding robotically, and staring at faceless walls."

Edward kissed my head. "We're not there anymore, baby."

"I know," I inhaled, pushing the negative feelings aside, "it still hurts though."

"Yes," Alicia nodded in understanding, "I know. That's the thing. There's a lot of factors that come into play in our lives. Factors with work, factors with family or friends, factors with dreams, plans, and goals for your future. But, most of all, it's factors with our personal relationships. Do you know why that's the hardest, Edward?"

Edward nodded, rubbing my stomach with his fingertips beneath my shirt. "Yes. Besides the fact that you're incomplete without that person, when your personal relationships fail, the other ones seem to fail also. That's the person you go to, when you have work problems, school problems, family problems, future problems. And if that person isn't there to vent to about those things... then your life quickly begins to have no outlet. Bella is my partner, my best friend, my confidante. Not having her there to comfort me, and not being there for her as well... there's just a lot of regret, from both sides. We go over it in our minds sometimes... We both wanted to be back together, but never spoke up..."

Alicia nodded. "Makes you wonder what could have happened if you did speak up, doesn't it?"

We both nodded in unison. Masen sneezed. Edward put the empty bottle beside his leg and lifted Masen so he could burp him while I played with his tiny fists.

"Bella, if you could have spoken up, talked to Edward, without any animosity from what happened to cause the split, what do you think you would have said to him?"

"I miss you," I replied quickly, looking up at him. "I'd say that I always loved you and I'm sorry I never said it, and... that I wasn't anything without you beside me."

Edward grinned crookedly and kissed my nose. "I would have said the same things."

"Edward, what's one thing that you experienced that was good while you were split up, that you wish she could have been there for?"

Edward rubbed his fingers around his stubbly chin. "Mmm... College graduation, perhaps? My first eighty-two hours as an intern in the hospital..."

"And Bella?"

"Getting hired at Leverage Marketing. Oh, and your birthday."

"My birthday?" Edward furrowed his brows.

I blushed, "Yeah... I was in my dorm one night and I realized it was your birthday. I was going through a hard time with finals, and I couldn't concentrate. Colleen brought me some cupcake mix before she had to leave for class. I baked them and found a candle and lit one and thought about you. I said, 'Make a wish Edward...', and then I waited and blew it out myself..."

I laughed, covering my face. "It sounds so idiotic when I say it out loud, like you were dead or something, but I really felt your presence in the room with me that night... it comforted me."

"What birthday was this?"

"Two and a half years ago. Your twenty-first."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Edward thought for a moment, as Masen tried to crawl over to my lap. "...Wow."

"What?"

He chuckled and massaged my stomach again, "Everyone forgot about my twenty-first birthday."

"Huh? No way!"

"Yeah, yeah, they really did. Emmett took Alice and went to Amsterdam with a bunch of his friends for a whole month. They left two weeks before that, and completely overlooked my birthday. I couldn't go. I wasn't seeing anyone at that time, my parents were in New York... I didn't get a single phone call... I spent the night drinking by myself in my bedroom..." He looked over at me, an awed expression on his face, "but... you remembered... I thought everyone forgot about it that no one cared and... you made a cupcake and blew it out for me."

He leaned over Masen and me and hugged me as tight as possible. "You remembered."

I laughed at the odds of that and ran my fingers through the back of his hair. "How could I possibly have forgotten about your birthday? You sent me cards every year... Simple cards with a heart and 'Edward Cullen', the only thing signed on them, but... I kept them."

He pulled away and lifted my chin, tilting his head. His green eyes melted mine. "You did?"

"Of course I did, silly."

He chuckled and gave me a slow kiss. We kissed until we heard the leather seat across from us squeak.

Edward chuckled and looked over at Alicia, "Sorry. New information. Overload."

Alicia grinned at us. "It's completely understandable. I think that's the best part about the four-year break. All the little details that matter, you get to be filled in on. You can turn the negative into a positive, like that, for example. Even pain can be beautiful when you look at it from a different angle."

We cuddled closer.

"So," Alicia clapped her hands, "I think the biggest lesson we've learned is that being exes was the biggest factor of your life at one point. It was what every decision the both of you made revolved around... Every choice, every regret, every move..."

I shook my head, squeezing Edward's. "Alicia, I don't think that was the answer."

"No?"

"No. I don't think the biggest factor was Edward being my ex, or me being his. I think the biggest factor in our lives was knowing that the other was irreplaceable. There was a constant void in our lives without each other, and there will be another one when God decides to take us away. There are certain couples that work together with a lot of space between them. They divide bills and responsibilities, some even sleep in separate bedrooms. And that's okay, if that's what they want. But..."

I looked over at Edward and shivered at the calming expression in his eyes as he listened to me talk, "...Edward and I were never like that. Our relationship is different. We work better as a team... We're not suffocating each other. We give each other room to breathe and grow. But everything that's important in our lives, we've made the choice to experience it together. We operate better as a whole, and we were never whole without each other. We know that now."

"And, I don't care if people judge us, if they say we're too close and too dependant... because I know in my heart... it's the right decision for us. I wake up in the middle of the night, and find that our hands have somehow found a way to intertwine while we're dreaming. It's like... I want to take him with me everywhere, even while I dream. I can't go a second without thinking of him, without wanting to see him and tell him about my day. And I know he feels the same way. And now, we have Masen to share these things with as well as our future children. There's no doubt in my life that we're going to make it now, even with the rocky road that may pop up along the way. We're strong. We've seen the darkened road, the empty space in our lives when we were apart. Being apart and fragmented or being together and whole…. we'll always chose the latter of those options. Being without each other now is... strictly not an option."

Edward smiled. "I couldn't have said that better than myself."

Alicia nodded, glancing from Masen, to my face, to his. "That was indeed the correct answer, Bella. In fact... I think you and Edward are ready for the next factor in your life... the next step... The greatest thing about life is that it's true, and it's constantly rolling, constantly moving, changing gears. New journeys have yet to be planned, new roads are being mapped out in front of you, both together and individually... My question is... Are you ready for this? For whatever's going to come your way?"

Edward and I looked to each other as Masen held each of our hands and jiggled them around in the air, cooing happily.

I studied his eyes and quickly found my source of comfort. It made my heart skip and sputter, speed up and slow down, just looking at him. Being in his presence. I knew that feeling would never go away and I welcomed it eagerly with open arms. Always.

The genuine smile on his face, the one made only for me, said that he felt exactly the same.

We were connected, in every single way.

On the same page, the same road.

The same journey.

We took a deep breath, and our smiles for each other grew wider.

Then, at the exact same time, we replied knowingly, "We're ready."

----AUTHOR'S NOTES----

So there we go, Chapter 36!

-- "The Ex Factor" has won more awards! Thank you to everyone who voted at The Moonlight Awards. The winning categories are posted in my profile!! ALSO, we're nominated for the next round at The Moonlight Awards, for the categories of: All Human, Best OC, and Best Author. PLEASE show your support for your favs. Link is in my profile so you can vote.

-- Here is what's to come:
-- There will be one more chapter, an epilogue of sorts. It will be the middle of the jump. A 2-year mark (since the sequel is a 4-year jump from this, like TEF was 4 years from the break-up). You'll have tiny little hints of what will be happening with the characters in the sequel, where they're at... Hopefully see some changes as well as some characteristics that have stuck with them. I promise you it only gets better from here. And YES, before ANYONE asks me, the sequel will have an E/B HEA. Doesn't mean it's gonna be happy 24/7, but it is a package deal, I promise. (& I never make promises unless I can keep them!)

Schedule plans include:

-- "Two Years Epilogue" should be posted in 2 weeks. October 31st is my set goal in mind (but don't hold me to it, you know how I am!). Could be posted before.
-- My new, unrelated story "Ragweeds" will begin between "The Ex Factor" and "True Life: The Next Factor". Again, it is VERY, VERY different than this. It's more angsty, more struggles, more love and passion. It's about bringing E/B together in a world of negativity and loss, and making them fight to STAY together, not the other way around as this one has been. It will be premiering quickly. Be on the look-out for it, and be sure to show your support if it interests you!!
-- "True Life: The Next Factor" will be begin posting around middle or end of November. Not sure of the precise date, we'll see how it goes. That way your brain can adjust to the time jump. I hope you all will add me to your Author's Alert list if you haven't yet. New thread for the story will be on Twilighted, with all the fun goodies.

-- If you are a member of the TEF Twilighted Thread or Addicted To TEF Facebook Community, then you will have more sneak peeks coming your way. I will try to do at least 1 thing a week, from here until True Life begins. This includes character povs, new character breakdowns, pictures of Masen and whatnot, song recc's, siggy banners and arts, and much much more. Don't miss it. :D


Random Questions for my readers to answer at the bottom of your review:

-- What has been your favorite Edward/Bella moment from TEF thus far?
-- Besides E/B, who has been your favorite character, and why?
-- What is one thing you're looking forward to in the sequel?
-- What is one thing that worries you, makes you nervous, about the sequel?

^^^ Remember guys. I have always read every single feedback left here and on the boards, so make it count.
A few has pm'd me, telling me that they don't think reviews matter. THEY DO. It's a nice pay-off for authors for time spent.

There's still one more thing to come with this first part of their story, so stick around!! AND REVIEW because...

Reviews are better than joining them while they take the next step. ;-).