Chapter fourteen

The cottage far up north in Keswick was shrouded in peace on a sunny winter's day. The snow had melted and the world around the house had turned back to normal, but inside the owners had not moved on. Days had passed since the alien invasion, a week even by now. Gwaine wasn't even aware of how much time had passed, for to him every second was one too long he spend in utter worry for his friend. In spite of Gabriel's healing sessions Merlin stayed far out of it. There was no sign that he would wake up any time soon, but Gwaine was unwilling to give up hope and so was Arthur. The two of them had spent every waking hour at their friend's side since Jack drove them back home.

Often Gwaine talked to Merlin just to avoid thinking. Memories of the past fell from his lips in the hope that they would somehow raise his friend from his deep slumber. He recalled pranks he played on his fellow knights in the past, but his jokes fell flat even to his own ears. Today he no longer had any words left, so he just sat in silence, taking in the unmoving form on the bed. Behind his eyelids Merlin's eyes kept moving in restless jitters, as if he was trying to break free from the dreams which plagued him. Gwaine wished that he could take away his pain; anything to see Merlin burst with life and joy again. Resting his hand on one of Merlin's shoulders Gwaine laid his head on the bed beside the lanky frame, just to be near him.

Shuffling footsteps coming over announced that Arthur had returned from talking to Jack. The Torchwood three remained nearby, staying over at the local pub just to be there for them after everything they'd been through. Ianto visited more often than the other two, a serious expression on his face each time he did. Gwaine knew that the Welshman had many questions about what he had become, but no one dared to speak of his unlimited future just yet for it reminded them of how much Merlin had sacrificed for them all.

In silence Arthur joined him in his vigil and he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Get something to eat, Gwaine. I will watch him for a while", it almost sounded like an order but there was no real force behind it. They both accepted that he wasn't going to listen anyway. The dull eyes which met his when he looked up were filled with pain. "How has he been?" Gwaine only shrugged his answer, because he no longer wanted to say out loud how there was no change.

"I think Jack is getting restless. All this waiting, it isn't him", Arthur continued to break the silence. Gwaine grimaced, but he remained silent. The truth was that none of them were good without action. "I told him it is alright if they head back…" The voice trailed off when Arthur realised Gwaine wasn't in any sort of talkative mood.

For a while they both sat in silence, each lost in their thoughts. Every now and then Arthur got up to pace, or to straighten sheets that barely needed readjusting. When he made to rise a fourth time Gwaine stopped him with a firm grip around a wrist. "All this waiting isn't you either, Arthur."

The former King rose an eyebrow at his remark, "Nor is it you, or Merlin. We should be out there riding our horses, or walk across the fields listening to his insistent prattling. I don't know if I can bear this much longer, Gwaine."

The serious admission at the end of the heartfelt words made Gwaine look at his friend more closely. "Nor can I, but if waiting is what we must do, then so be it. Even if it breaks my heart doing so."

"You care for him." The remark itself was simple, but Gwaine saw in the blue eyes that Arthur meant more than just friendship. After he nodded his friend looked to the ground and admitted softly, "As do I." Lifting his head again Arthur gave him a wry smile, "How did he worm his way into our hearts like this?"

Gwaine grinned at the disbelief in his voice, because to him it was very clear. From the day he had met Merlin there had been something about him. No one was as kind hearted and open minded as the former servant was. The way he cared for others at the cost of his own wellbeing had always impressed Gwaine, while at the same time he worried about it. Merlin had taken his destiny to heart and he'd been there for Arthur every step along the way. Gwaine had watched the two be no more than brothers on the outside, but be so much more in their hearts.

In a way he had been jealous of their relationship, but not anymore. Since they had come to this time Merlin had taken them both into his heart even though he had guarded it with the walls he had built up over the centuries. Gwaine wondered if they were pulled down far enough by now, because he needed the truth to be out there. All he hoped was that his friends were as ready to own up as he was.

For days now he'd been pondering to talk to Arthur, but his friend had closed everyone out with his need to stay in control of a situation no one had any control over. Something Jack said must have touched him, Gwaine realised, because the former King had stepped down before he walked into the bedroom and back was his friend. His remarks had given Gwaine an opening, but was he brave enough to break the silence?

Arthur's eyes were still on his when Gwaine shook the thoughts from his mind. The raw emotions lingering inside the blue eyes made the decision for him. More than anything he wanted to kiss the hurt away and make Arthur smile again. Before he was even aware they'd moved closer to each other Gwaine's lips found the other pair. For a breathtaking second they were kissing and for one moment all felt right with the world.

Startled Arthur pulled away to catch his eyes. Gwaine didn't waver while the former King made his choice. When lips found his in an eager to speak words neither knew how to say out loud his heart found its old strength again. The thrill of it made Gwaine smile deep inside. Parting for air he let his forehead rest against Arthur's for a few seconds. It was his way to show that all would be alright between them. He startled though when an unused voice croaked into the silence, "Can I join in?"

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed their surprise. They both turned towards the bed with blushing cheeks, where they were met with a cheeky smile from the man they loved. It took them less than a second to carefully pull him tight against them in a hug that said everything about how much they had missed him.

Down in the kitchen an unaware Jack decided not to leave for the day just yet. Instead he called Gwen and Ianto over as well. "We need to intervene", he explained. For days now he had watched as Arthur and Gwaine pushed themselves too far in their vigil over their fallen friend. Jack wasn't an all too optimistic person and as time passed he doubted that Merlin would wake again. Of course he never admitted it, because the one time he'd come even close to suggesting it his head got bitten off by Arthur. It was on that day he fully saw the King the man had once been. The only one able to rein the anger back in was Gwaine, who had come running down from upstairs when he had heard raised voices rise even higher.

Since then neither of the two men had spoken much to Jack. Only earlier today when Arthur opened the door for him did he show a softer side, his anger had clearly died down. The time was finally there to talk about the aftermath of the invasion. Jack explained to Arthur how a slim number of people were allergic to the metal killers and that they had sadly fallen victim before the cure even touched them. A final search for patient zero, the person who'd fallen at the hands of the scout cube at the Valley of the Fallen Kings, had shown them this truth. The old man walking his dog had seemingly died of a heart attack, but the truth was that his heart had given up the minute the nanites infiltrated it, or so Martha had concluded. He was buried two months before the invasion, so it was no wonder Torchwood was unable to find him for so long.

Arthur's reaction had been a quiet and sad, "Merlin won't like this. Every soul lost is one too many…" Before Jack could even react Arthur had walked up the stairs again, leaving him behind in the kitchen with the pot of old coffee and a pile of untouched biscuits. The dullness in his eyes had Jack worried to the point where he knew they had to knock some sense in the two friends, who were forgetting to live in their wake for the one they'd lost.

Once the Torchwood three had gathered they headed up the stairs only to find the others smiling and talking, including Merlin. Jack could not believe his eyes when he saw that the raven haired man was sitting up. He looked as pale as the white sheets around him, but he smiled with a joy that made everyone feel alive with him. Jack waited until Gwen was done hugging him and Ianto had given his half shy version of one. Stepping forwards he clasped Merlin's hand as he had seen him do with his friends. It was his way to say thanks without words for all the warlock had done.

"Thank you", Merlin answered out loud. "All of you. Without each one of you I could not have done it."

For a moment it was silent. It was clear to Jack that the other man had exhausted himself already. Retreating he ushered Gwen and Ianto out of the room. "We will check up on you tomorrow morning before we return to Cardiff to fight some aliens. It is good to see you alive, Merlin." Winking to Gwaine he added, "And you two, start taking care of yourselves too. That is an order."

Gwaine looked mock impressed, "Yes, sir." His sloppy salute made Jack grin as he closed the bedroom door behind him on his way out.

Woken by the light of dawn Arthur lifted his head. Slowly opening his eyes he realised that he had fallen asleep on top of the blankets and with his head on Merlin's chest. The even movement of the chest below him was a sure sign that his friend was still sleeping sound, something he figured was probably for the best. Behind Merlin a mess of dark hair rested on the bed, while Gwaine's lower half was still in the chair because there wasn't enough space for three on the single bed. The awkward position was bound to leave the former knight with some aches, but Arthur had a feeling that Gwaine wouldn't care.

Careful and silent Arthur got up. He tiptoed around the bed to gently shake Gwaine awake. Blinking upwards the brown eyes slowly focussed on him. Arthur held his finger to his lips, "Come downstairs with me. We will let Merlin sleep a bit longer. He needs to get his strength up." Nodding Gwaine stretched and got up on his feet. After he kissed Merlin on his forehead the knight followed Arthur out of the room.

Arthur was the first to walk into the kitchen and at once he smelled the aroma of coffee. He wasn't surprised when Gwaine brushed passed him to pour two mugs full of the welcome dark fluid. Yawning Arthur noticed that the table was filled with plates of bread, cheeses and glasses of orange juice. His stomach growled at the smell of fresh breakfast and he was eager to find out if it tasted as good as it looked.

A polite cough behind him announced the presence of the three culprits. Arthur turned around to meet their smiling faces and he smiled back in thanks. When he caught sight of Jack glancing passed him he realised that the captain was still awaiting Merlin. With a wince he admitted, "We didn't have the heart to wake him."

Jack smiled knowingly, "We will leave some for Merlin then, but before we head home we wanted to make sure that you two handsome men ate something for once to get your strength back up." The accompanying wink was almost too cheesy, but all the same Arthur smiled at the way Jack was still Jack even after everything they had seen and done. Nodding his acceptance he pulled back a chair to take a seat.

No one wasted time and the five of them sat down to enjoy the elaborate breakfast. They talked and joked, but Arthur found that his heart was not in it. More than anything he wished for Merlin to join them. Once he had finished his last piece of toast he excused himself with a glance over at Gwaine, who helped him fill a plate with toast and a glass of orange juice for their lover.

Armed with the breakfast tray Arthur walked up the stairs, trying not to spill anything on his way over. Part of him grinned at the way their roles seemed to have reversed, but the part of him which no longer felt the need to uphold his once royal status was glad to be able to do this for Merlin. With some effort he made it inside, only to falter at the sight of the empty bed awaiting him. In shock he dropped the breakfast tray; the glass of orange juice tumbling to the floor while he shouted, "Merlin? Merlin!" His voice echoed in the cottage, alarming the others to the fact something was wrong.

Gwaine arrived at his side first, followed close by the others. "What happened? Arthur, what's wrong?" Worry laced his voice and his manners.

Near speechless Arthur was forced to admit that he had no answers. Once more he glanced over at the empty bed and it was only then that he saw the folded note lying on the pillow. Picking it up with trembling hands he opened it to read out loud the curled, still somewhat old fashioned handwriting. "I am sorry to leave without a word, but there is somewhere I need to be. Do not be scared, my friends. I will be fine once I know who I am and how much I have lost of my old self. I will be back as soon as I can. It is time we talked, no more secrets I promise. Love you both, Merlin."

In his worry Arthur was unaware of the fact he had revealed the latest turn his relationship with Merlin and Gwaine had taken. He failed to see the smile Jack shared with his teammates while he mouthed, "Told you so." All he could focus on was the tumble his emotions were taking in his head. He pushed it aside though to try and make sense of what Merlin had written. Where could his friend be? What place could give him the answer he sought?

With sudden clarity Arthur realised that he had been an idiot not to connect the dots sooner. "Oh of course! I know where he went", he said before he rushed down the stairs and ran out of the door closely followed by the others.

Two miles east of the cottage Merlin passed through a kissing gate. While it thudded shut behind him he walked further out onto the field of grass. The sight of the ancient stones, lying in a wide circle around him made him smile even though he shook a little from the effort to make it here. This was the place for answers. Sure he was happy to wake up after all that had happened, but deep down inside of him he feared that he completely lost who he once was. He did not care about his immortality and the way it helped him heal faster. No, he was actually more than happy he could grow old with his friends and die when he was tired of living. What he did care about was his magic. How could he be Merlin without it?

His fear of what he would do if he lost it after so many centuries of living had driven him to sneak out beyond his friends' eyes. Though he was done with keeping secrets Merlin needed some space to call upon the ancient druid spirits dwelling among the stones. If he could bring them forward to join him then he had the answer he wanted. Standing in the centre of the stone circle he faltered. What if they did not appear to him? "No", he chastised himself. "I need to do this."

Closing his eyes Merlin focussed on the stones and what they stood for. So long ago the ancient druids who had lived here were free to embrace their faith in this roofless temple. Fires had burned here at the various pagan holidays of the year. These particular druids called Silurians had danced for every time the Goddess had blessed them. It were their oldest of pagan ways which were never quite forgotten by the Earth itself and they still seemed to echo in his blood. Could it be that he had not lost the power of the Silurians? Had their raw energy separated from his birth magic by the force of the crystals like he had deep down hoped?

A bright smile graced his face when on his deepest emotions the druid spirits came to life between the stones around him. He saw the younger men dance in the light of the fires burning while their elders stood at the side to whisper prayers for life and a plentiful season to come. It was Imbolc today, something Merlin had felt in his heart in the moment he'd woken up. The Old Religion marked it as the beginning of spring, which seemed almost poetic to him when he realised he, like the sun, almost felt reborn.

It filled Merlin with hope that his magic still reacted to this tribe's presence. While overall the power in his veins did not burn as bright as it once did he cherished the fact he had not lost his touch with the old elements. Yes, he was a different man, but that was only because he was no longer a caretaker or so powerful that everyone was in awe of him. In truth a part of him felt liberated… though it too felt sad for what he had handed down to Ianto.

In his trance and unaware dance along with the druids Merlin did not hear the kissing gate close shut a few times more. Nor did he hear the happy shout of his name tumble from Arthur's lips. For a while the five newcomers stood watching the dancing man with confusion and amusement. "What are you doing?" Arthur's incredulous question went by equally unnoticed by Merlin.

But somewhere in the distance he heard Gwaine's happy laughter and remark of, "His magic… Arthur, he hasn't lost it. Look, his eyes are glowing. This is why he had to come, don't you see?"

Merlin danced on while Ianto tried to make sense of it. "I can feel magic in the air here… it's strange how I can't see what Merlin brought forth and yet I know that the druids are out there."

The deep voice faded into the distance while Gwaine pulled Arthur along to join Merlin in the dance to the rhythm only he could hear. The warlock finally sensed their presence and he laughed as he embraced them. They'd come home, all three of them and if he had it his way they would never be parted again, not in this life or the next.

Once more the kissing gate thudded closed as the Torchwood three let them be in their reunion with life and magic. Their ways parted here again, but they would always be connected in some way, because Ianto had taken over Merlin's place in the world of magic for the centuries of time still to come…

THE END

Author note:

To be continued in "Old Friends", which is still in the writing stage. Bear with me as I figure out where to take their story next. ;)