I really hope youu all believe i have done this chapter justice, i have been working on it since the last update, enjoy
Dixie remained crying and shaking on the cold tiled floor, she didn't have the strength to pick her body up. She was to defeated, Jeff was right, she had done wrong in agreeing to the surgery. She should have just let Chantelle go peacefully, she was going to be in so much pain and it was all her fault.
She didn't notice the office door click open, Jeff knew it would the office that Dixie went to, she was always there when she wanted to be alone. The door had been locked, but he knew she would use their wedding date as the pin for the door, she used the same pin for everything.
He went in the office and looked around the room, he couldn't see Dixie but he could hear her. He could hear her sobs. He had his own tears streaming down his face, walking further in the room, his knee's threatened to buckle. All those things Dixie had said made him feel even more guilty. Why did he have to be such an idiot? Out of all the things he could have said to Dixie he questioned her judgement.
He saw the private toilet door slightly open, that's where the sobbing was coming from. Closing his eyes, he plucked up the courage to get closer.
Once he did he put his hand on the door handle, pulling it towards him, revealing Dixie crouched on the floor in floods of tears and shaking. He felt ashamed looking at her like that, he had caused that, him and his big gob. Why was it he never thought before he opened his mouth?
"I'm sorry" Jeff managed to muster, his voice was croaky. Dixie didn't even look up from the ground, she knew the only reason Jeff would come to her is to tell her that Chantelle was dead. Why else would he be there?
"She...she's dead... Isn't she?" Dixie whispered quietly, she was instantly fearing the worst.
"I don't know..." Jeff crouched down opposite her, so much he wanted to hold her, to comfort her, but Dixie wasn't allowing him anywhere near her.
"Why else would you be here?" Dixie looked up from the floor at Jeff, shaking. She saw his eyes swimming in tears, showing the same guilt that she felt at that moment in time.
"I'm sorry Dixie. I really am" Jeff held out his hand, brushing his thumb against her cheek, but Dixie just shuffled backwards and looked at the floor once more.
"Go away..." She mumbled,
"Dix I..."
"Jeff just please go!" Dixie shouted, she couldn't bare it no longer, she couldn't stand being with Jeff after he said those things. She still needed time to think.
Jeff bit his tongue to stop him saying something, then stood up, Dixie remained on the floor. She didn't look up at Jeff, but she saw from the corner of her eye him standing and beginning to walk away. She relaxed herself as much as she could and rubbed her cheek against the wall, staring at the sink. What had she done? It was all her fault.
Jeff left the office, and went into the rec room, burying himself in the rec room sofa. It was killing him inside that Dixie was pushing him away like she was, he wanted so desperately to hold her, he hated it when she cried.
Another few hours passed, Dixie hadn't moved from the floor, all she could do was sit there and sob. Her sobbing almost sounded out the ring tone of her mobile. She heard it go off in her pocket, she immediately struggled trying to find it. She saw it was an unknown caller, she knew then it was the hospital. Calling to tell her about Chantelle.
She looked at the phone for a while, thinking, she knew she had to answer it. But she was scared to, part of her knew it was going to be bad news. After taking a shallow breath she managed to press the answer button and weakly put her hand to her ear.
"Hello?..." She croaked,
"Is this Mrs Collier?"
"Speaking..." Dixie whispered,
"Chantelle has come out of recovery and is in the intensive care unit ward"
"Is she ok?"
"Perhaps it's best if you came up, instead of discussing it over the phone" Dixie held her breath, this couldn't be a good sign Surely.
"Ok" Dixie mumbled, she then hung up the phone, taking deep breaths. She tried to get the strength to pick herself up from the floor but it was hard, her body felt heavy and weak, she was exhausted. Somehow she managed to pick herself up, she shuffled out of her office, she saw Jeff in the rec room laid out on the sofa, he had actually managed to cry himself to sleep.
She didn't want to wake him, so just walked out the station and back into the hospital. She used a different entry than the ED, she didn't want all the sympathy. People offering hugs or free coffee wasn't going to make Chantelle better.
Dixie got in the lift by herself, pressing the 4th floor, it seemed forever she was in there. Staring at the metal doors waiting for them open. Her nails were digging into her palms, cutting into her palms deeper and deeper as the lift went up.
As the lift doors finally opened, she remembered the ward from last time. Her mind was on auto pilot, she knew this ward on the back of her hand, she could go to the reception desk with her eyes closed. At the reception desk she said Chantelle's name, and was lead down the corridor, until she came into a totally different side of the ward. She didn't remember this from last time. The walls were painted light blue and it smelled highly of anaesthetic and plastic.
She found herself staring at the pine door, then at the doctor that was approaching her. He put his clipboard to the side, then took of his glasses. Dixie stared at him, trying to figure out what he was going to say.
"Kathleen I..."
"Its Dixie..." She interrupted him quickly,
"I'm sorry Dixie. Can we take this somewhere more private?" Dixie nodded, and followed him into a small office, she took the chair that he gestured to, and waited until he sat behind his desk.
Her heart was racing, and she thought it was going to jump out of her rib cage. Her eyes were red from crying, but she was trying to stay strong in front of the doctor, the last thing he would want is her breaking down in his office.
"Dixie. Chantelle came to us barely alive, we weren't able to fully perform the surgery. She would have died on the table if we continued" that's when he stopped, and stared at Dixie.
"Go on..." Dixie gulped, she was shaking, maybe she should have woken Jeff.
"She has a long list of injuries, most of them untreatable. Her right lung was completely punctured, I'm not sure how she managed to stay breathing alone for so long. Her pelvic bones have been broken from the force of intercourse, as well as the whole right side of her rib cage" The doctor was looking directly at Dixie,
"I get it... She isn't going to make it is she?" Dixie looked at him. She saw that look in his eyes, the same look that doctors always shared when telling a relative bad news.
"If she was stronger she may have had more of a chance, she was hypothermic, and just weighing 7 stone 2 pounds, that's nearly two stone underweight for someone of her height. We are trying to make her comfortable, making sure she can't feel no pain"
"How long?..." Dixie sniffed, she wiped away some of her tears with her sleeve.
"It's hard to say..."
"In... In your professional judgement" Dixie repeated, she needed to know how long Chantelle had left.
"She is currently on life support, as soon as it is turned off, that is when she will..."
"Can I see her?" Dixie's voice broke, her whole body was shaking, she needed to say goodbye. But could she do it? Was she strong enough to let Chantelle go?
"Of course" The doctor stood up. Opening the door for Dixie to be let out, Dixie felt tears rolling down her face, she couldn't be strong anymore.
They came outside another door, Dixie plucked up the courage to open the door. When she did, she saw Chantelle lying on the bed. It was a proper bed, with a big duvet wrapped around her, she looked so little after being wrapped up like she had been.
"Oh sweetheart" Dixie whispered, she closed her eyes then took some steps forward. Perching herself on the side of Chantelle's bed, taking her hand in her own. Being careful, she was so scared of breaking her, she was so delicate. She couldn't believe David had some so much damage in so little time, he had actually broken her. Broken her bones from the force of him slamming his body at her tiny frame, Dixie cringed thinking about it.
"I'm sorry darling... I really am, please forgive me... You mean so much to me and I let you down, you shouldn't be here..." Dixie looked down at her hand interlocked with Chantelle's, looking up she saw Chantelle's necklace placed on the beside table in a small plastic wallet, along with some hair clips and ear rings. Dixie took a deep breath before talking again,
"Goodbye sweetheart, I'll never forget you, never..." Dixie broke down into tears then looked behind her, the doctor was stood there staring at her. Dixie nodded at him, indicating she was ready to let Chantelle go.
She moved herself so she was lying next to Chantelle. She noticed the lack of wires in Chantelle's body, she then realised it was because most of her veins had shut down. Dixie gently wrapped her arms around Chantelle, and rested the young woman's head on her chest, stroking her hair as the doctor turned off the life support.
"I love you sweetheart... We'll meet again one day... I promise... You can be at peace now" Dixie whispered, she felt the warmth from Chantelle. She kissed the top of her head softly and continued stroking her hair holding her body close, feeling Chantelle's chest get slower and slower, she could hear her fighting for breath before she stopped and was silent.
Dixie rested her forehead in Chantelle's hair, sobbing weakly. Chantelle was gone, there was no getting her back and it was all her fault. After a few moments of holding Chantelle, she moved herself, resting Chantelle's limp body back carefully on the bed. Then tucking her in, trying to make it look as if she was sleeping.
She kissed her cheek softly, whispering goodbye once again. "Goodbye my sweetheart, I will never forget you, I promise" Dixie then took the small plastic wallet containing Chantelle's jewellery and left the room, she couldn't take it no more. She couldn't look at Chantelle's body, knowing she was the reason she was gone. Tears were building up in her eyes, a tough lump in the back of her throat.
Leaving the room, Dixie immediately broke down into sobs, breaking down into tears against the wall. Shaking. Realising that Chantelle was gone, she could never hear her voice again, or see her sweet innocent smile, she was just gone.
Dixie couldn't help herself being violently sick over the the floor, she felt everything get darker before her whole vision went black and she just collapsed onto the floor.