"Yes. Yes, I think. As would anyone. It's just the way it goes."
"Man, that's not good…what do you think Tom-san thinks?"
"No clue. But it seems he's joined this crazy caravan so it's not just the two of us anymore."
"Yeah…"
"I know! We'll bring him over to our side!"
Izaya bounced in bed as if suddenly cured.
"Our side? We got a side?"
"Yes, we do. If we can get Tom-san to convince Dr. Phil and co. that there is nothing going on between us then we are off the hook."
"That's a great idea, you really are smart."
Shizuo convinced Tom to join them but it was obvious he would rather be anywhere but here. Izaya had changed into a kimono and looked quite feverish but all the more menacing for that. Tom thought of a yakuza lord, the pillows his faithful attendants and Shizuo as something of the right hand man.
"Tom-san, welcome. We wish to correct a certain misunderstanding. Shizu-chan and I are not involved in a sexual way and we believe that you can set it right. It would mean so much to us and especially to Shizu-chan here, he would forgive you for telling about that dream."
By now Tom knew that the dream issue would come back to haunt him no matter what he did.
"Yeah that was not cool. That kind of stuff is private."
"So, Orihara-san, just what am I supposed to do?"
Izaya lit up.
"Simple. No matter what happens or what you see and hear – or think you saw and heard – you'll say nothing about it. And if asked you'll tell about how Shizu-chan and I most definitely do not engage in sexual activity. Neh?"
Tom was more worried than ever. The yakuza boss analogy was not completely off, Izaya worked closely with such people and he had picked up some of their habits. Tom feared that his final destination might be the bottom of Tokyo Bay. Much more so since Shizuo held a grudge and as such would probably approve.
"Okay…I didn't think you guys did that, anyway."
And now he was sure they did. But Izaya was not too troubled, he needed to invest in damage control first and foremost and if that meant convincing a person that the status of their relationship was of that sort in order to keep millions from thinking the same then so be it. It was about priorities.
Shizuo nodded grimly. Then he blew on some newly heated milk and tested it with a finger anew.
"You can drink it now."
Izaya was in a trollish mood so he took it to himself to suck on the milk soaked finger.
"What the!"
Tom made a hasty exit and made sure he settled for the other end of the caravan, as far away from the bedroom as possible.
"You crazy flea…!"
But Shizuo sounded more dazed than anything else. Izaya giggled and flung himself on top of a big pillow as if suddenly drained of energy. The kimono swept open to show plenty of leg.
"Sick…and why is it so cold."
Izaya made a very weak attempt at pulling up the blankets but gave up with a sigh. Shizuo did it for him and then helped him sit.
"Finish your milk."
"Do I have to-"
"Finish your milk, damn you!"
Izaya had no other choice but to obey. Being sick made him careless and he tossed aside the covers, rolling on his back, kimono coming undone.
"Too hot…"
"First it's cold, then it's too hot, will you make up your mind already!"
"Stop shouting, you're giving me a headache."
"What do you when you get sick?"
"I cure everything with miso soup and sex."
Shizuo started.
"There's no miso soup around…!"
"And no sex either."
Izaya's eyes were closed so he did not see Shizuo blushing.
"What kind of a person uses sex for that, hot milk cures. And rice porridge."
"Rice porridge…nice…and milk…hmm, milk…"
Shizuo did not care for Izaya's dreamy tone. Apparently his lucid reasoning skills had been exhausted by his negotiation with Tom.
"Hey, are you getting worse or something?"
Shizuo got very close to compare Izaya's temperature to his own. Izaya laced his hands at the back of Shizuo's neck and took Shizuo completely by surprise by kissing him on the lips. Shizuo froze on the spot.
"It's got be sex to cure me, Shizu-chan~"
"What! The! I don't even!"
"Shi-zu-chan, we can't win…so we might as well go ahead and do it. Neh?"
Shizuo was pretty certain that the fever was clouding Izaya's mind more than a bit. At the same time he couldn't deny the stirring below the waist at the proposal.
"'Neh' my ass!"
"But there's no miso soup…"