A love lost and loves sacrifice.

Chapter 36

I do… again.

Chakotay slowly placed his wood carving on the table where he sat; somebody was knocking loudly on his front door. He had tried to ignore the unwanted visitor at first but they had persisted in knocking and were seemingly not about to go away. Angrily he stomped to the front door to pull it firmly open in order to give the intruding visitor a piece of his mind. As he angrily opened the door and looked out to see who dared disturb him when he was in a such a foul mood he was met by a the very beautiful face of none other than the tiny woman who had put him in his foul mood. Looking up at him with her desperate blue eyes she asked softly and slightly sheepishly, "May I come in?"

"You're supposed to be resting." He told her slightly sternly to show his disapproving of her being up and about.

"Yes well, I got board with that." She shrugged a little to casually for his liking as she told him "beside I wanted to see you and you never came to see me."

"You told me to get out." He reminded her, folding his arms in protest. If there was one thing Kathryn Janeway would do it was twist everything around so it was everybody else's fault and never her own, this time he was not going to let her do it.

"That was six hours ago Chakotay." She glared at him as though this explained it all.

"Right of course." He said softly was he simply stood by and watched her pushed past him and walk confidently into his sitting room without an invite. "Coffee?" he asked with a slight smile as he closed the front door.

"Yes, thanks." He heard her husky voice call from his sitting room.

A few seconds later he returned to his sitting room with two mugs in his hand. He was confronted with a very determined looking Kathryn pacing the floor looking at all the things on his extremely perfect looking walls and shelves. "Kathryn" I sighed heavily as he placed his own tea mug down and moved towards her with her coffee mug "will you do my nerves a favour and sit down?"

"Your nerves?" clearly confused as she turned to look at him.

"Yes my dear, you're supposed to be resting." He insisted as she reached out for the coffee and he refused to give it to her with a slight mischievous twinkle in his jet-black eyes.

"Oh right, sorry." She sighed slipping herself into the nearest armchair and telling him "you know resting is very boring when one had nobody to rest with."

"I imagine it is yes." He agreed slightly to nonchalantly for her liking.

"You imagine?" she snapped eyeing him with her narrowed eyes and folding her arms.

"Ok fine I know." He laughed handing her the coffee mug and turning to sit in his own chair and return to his carving in a pretence of being nonchalant at her arrival "So what do I owe this very beautiful pleasure?" he asked simply as he risked a glance at her sipping her coffee.

Kathryn took a long pause in which she deeply examined the contents of her coffee mug while he busied himself with his carving while he waited for her answer. Slowly and softly she raised her head and told him. "I wanted to say sorry."

Chakotay slowly placed his carving once more on the table and turned to face her, he found her eyes darting almost uncontrollably and slightly agitatedly around the room. "Kathryn?" he asked watching her with concern "Are you ok are you looking for something?"

Almost as though snapping from a trace she snapped "no!"

"Kathryn?" he asked still watching her closely.

"Look I came to say-" she began softly and not meeting his eyes.

"Your sorry, I know it's ok." She told her moving to sit on the soft arm of the armchair where she sat to show her he understood and to reassure him.

"Well yes that, but that wasn't what I was going to say." She sighed as she let her eyes meet with his silently begging him to let her finish.

"Sorry Kathryn, go on." he said gently looking into her eyes and stroking her soft hair.

"I came to say, yes." She said slightly heavily as she looked down at her feet.

"Yes?" he asked feeling confused.

"I would very much love to marry you," she whispered with watery eyes as she looked up once more to meet his eyes to gauge their reaction "if you will still have me."

"Are you serious Kathryn?" he gasped.

"Chakotay, I do, I really I do! I want to be your wife" she insisted as she searched deep into his eyes. "Again." As his eyes filled with love and the tears began to form there she placed the palm of her hand on his hand "but please promise me one thing?"

"Anything." He told her as he shifted his fingers to grasp her hand lovingly in his not breaking eye contact with her.

"Can we get it right this time?" she said with a slight smile as she watched him break into a huge smile with his dimples flashing.

"I intend to." He told her as he leaned in and silenced her smile with his. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and almost lifted her from her seat onto his lap. His tongue invaded her mouth and she wrapped her hands deep into his thick grey hair. Chakotay's hands found her bottom and squeezing them hard she writhed into him, the two felt young again. There kiss was one of passion, the most passionate they had shared in nearly twenty five years, the two who had always loved each other but been pulled so far apart but were now permitted and back together again.