Thanks a lot to my beta-reader, Orodruin, for correcting my mistakes.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

I'm not a native speaker of English!

Dear readers,

don't get used to such quick updates. This should have been the last chapter of this story IF I would have made it a series and started a sequel. The majority voted for letting it stay as long chaptered story and I also prefer this way. So it will go on!!!

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Chapter 36 – Too Exhausted

When Harry woke up, he still felt very exhausted. He needed one of James' potions and then he would be fit for the detention. Looking at his night table, he didn't see one.

Oh, Merlin, I only get one potion a day? I will never manage a whole day of school with that small amount, Harry thought desperately. But if I tell James about it he won't let me go to school at all. I have to try without it then.

Groaning, he stood up. It was only 2:30, but falling asleep now wouldn't help with his problems because he would be even more tried after an additional half an hour of sleep. Harry decided to have a cold shower instead, even though he had showered before lunch.

When he had dragged himself into the bathroom, Paul appeared in front of him. "Young Master Harry doesn't look well. Can Paul help him?"

"No, Paul, I just want to have a shower." Harry ignored the worried look on the creature and started to undress tiredly.

Paul eyed Harry. "The Young Master has already had a shower before lunch. Paul is worried. Maybe Paul should inform Mistress Snape."

"No, Paul. I just want to have a cold shower to wake up completely, okay? There is nothing wrong. I'm okay."

"No, Master Harry isn't okay. I will keep an eye on Young Master Harry," Paul said and disappeared with a pop.

Harry just shook his head. He had no energy to think about Paul now.

After the cold shower he hardly felt better. Damn, I will fall asleep over the essay and Malfoy will have a good laugh about me, Harry thought tiredly.

When he came into the living room, he saw Remus approaching Ivy. "Severus asked me to come. Where is he?"

"In his office, you can use the portrait," Ivy said and looked at him worriedly. "Have you called Narcissa?"

"Yes, she is on her way, but she also thinks we meet here," Remus replied.

"No, Severus thought it would best to stay in his office because of—" She stopped because at that moment she saw Harry standing at the stairs.

"You?" Harry said between shock and anger. "You are stealing Draco's mother?"

Remus looked at Harry with shock.

"How dense are you, Lupin, to come through my private quarters?" Severus, who at that moment came to the portrait, spat at the DADA teacher.

"The note just said I should come to see you and Narcissa since it is concerning Draco. You didn't write where to meet you. It's the weekend, Severus, so where did you think I would go to look for you?"

Severus shook his head angrily as he quickly passed Remus while going in Harry's direction. He waved his hand at the portrait. "Go to my office. I will be there in a few minutes. Ivy and I must speak with, Harry, first."

Harry was still staring at Remus and just realized that Severus was in front of him when he ran his hand through his hair. "Why is you hair wet?"

"I had a shower," Harry said, distracted, seeing Remus disappear through the portrait hole.

"You had a shower before lunch, Harry," Ivy said worriedly when she reached his side.

"A cold shower to wake up completely."

"You don't look as if you are completely awake," Severus said worriedly, and tilted Harry's head to have a close look at his eyes.

"I am. I can start with the essay, now," Harry said. He had again these confusing feelings. He would like to pull his head out of Severus' grasp to prevent him from having a closer look at him, but at the same time he enjoyed the closeness and worry.

"The detention is cancelled for today," Severus said. "You need more rest."

"No, please, Severus," Harry started to plea.

"That's my last word. Back to bed with you, son. I will go and check on you when I have made sure the wolf and my stubborn godson aren't ripping each other's throats out."

"Come on, Harry, I will bring you to your room. The twins are still sleeping, so I have time to sit with you for a while."

"But the essay," Harry protested weakly while he was gently guided to his room by Ivy. Severus was already on his way to the portrait.

"—Can wait until you and Draco are ready for it," Ivy replied sternly. "What do you want to do, Harry," Ivy asked while tucking Harry into his bed. "Do you want me to read something to you or do you want to talk with me?"

"James has already told you, right?"

"About your problems at night? Yes, he has, and you could have told us as well. We are a family now, and when you feel bad we would like to know so that we can help you, Harry." She stroked his head affectionately, and Harry leaned into the touch. "Why can't you see that you can speak with us about your problems?"

"I'm not used to speaking about anything. Not even with Hermione and Ron. I don't want to speak about my nightmares. They are all about my past. It has nothing to do with you or Severus."

Ivy shook sadly her head. "All that concerns you has to do with us, Harry. You are our son."

"But I just want to forget what happened. I like it here, and I've never felt as safe and happy as here. I don't want to speak about my past and those damn nightmares; I just want to forget them!"

"I know, but it isn't that easy, Harry. It will take some time and repressing it will just make it worse. You don't have to speak with us about it, but at least try to speak with James and let him help you." Ivy took Harry's hand and looked gently at him.

"Can you read something now?" Harry asked to distract Ivy from the displeasing topic.

Ivy smiled. "Of course. Do you have something here or shall I get something from the library?"

"I haven't anything here."

"Then I'll go and get a book." With that Ivy left the room.

Only a few minutes later Severus came into the room. "Where is Ivy?"

"She is looking for a book," Harry explained. "I can still write the essay, Severus."

"You are exhausted Harry, and you should have told us about it. It's not that important that you write it today. I want you to write it together with Draco, and he isn't capable of doing it right now, either."

"So he told you about… Remus is the one his mother is seeing, right?"

"Yes, but I think you should hear about this from Draco, it should be his decision what all to tell you," Severus said seriously.

"Okay," Harry said, disappointed. He had hoped to hear more about Remus and why he was seeing Narcissa, but he wouldn't want Severus to tell Draco things about him and so he had no right to get private information about Draco from Severus.

"Have you already spoken with Ivy about what James told us?" Severus asked, eyeing Harry closely.

"Yes," Harry said sullenly and stared at the ceiling.

"And what was the result of this conversation?" Severus prodded.

"That I will speak with James."

"What about the sleeping spells, Harry? I really would like you to trust Albus and let him put you to sleep. The Sleeping Potions are very addictive, and I would prefer if James wouldn't try them on you. I would choose to sit beside your bed all night before I give my okay for him to use those potions on you. Speaking about it helps much more than any potion, anyway. The potions just defer the problem. I had to learn the hard way that problems like this are able to swim in the potion and that they just wait until the potion is gone and are still really there. Sometimes they come back worse than before. I forbad James from giving you a Sleeping Potion, Harry. I hope you can accept my decision."

"But I don't want to speak about it, Severus." Harry turned his face away.

"I know how hard it is, but I also know how much it can help. The first step is the hardest and then it will become easier. James is a great listener, Harry. Just give it a try. Albus' spells can help you to bridge a bit of time, but only when you speak with James about your nightmares it is useful. Otherwise it's the same as with the Potions; you won't get addicted to it, but the problems and nightmares will still be there when Albus stops working the spells. I doubt you want Albus to come put you into sleep when you are living in your own house with Hermione and all the annoying children you two will have." Severus grinned.

"Hermione isn't my girlfriend and never will be. She is just a friend." Harry explained, annoyed.

"I know," Severus chuckled and ruffled Harry's hair. "But it's such a fun to tease you with it."

"I'm glad I can entertain you so easily," Harry said sarcastically and grinned back.

"What's so funny? Did I miss something?" Ivy said while coming into the room.

"Just a man thing," Severus said and winked at Harry.

"Oh, great, now that I have four men in my family I have absolutely no chance." She sat down on Harry's bed, and when she saw Harry glance at the book, she said, "Moby Dick, I thought you would like it."

"I'm sure I will, but I can't promise to stay awake for a long time. I fear I'm really very exhausted," Harry said and snuggled closer into the bed covers.

"No problem, Harry. Just do what feels good." With that she opened the book and started reading.

After ten minutes Harry was asleep and Severus laid a hand on his wife's shoulder. "You can stop now, Ivy."

She looked up and her face became sad and worried. The mask she had held up for Harry was gone. A tear rolled over her cheek and fell down on the still open book.

"He will be okay, Ivy." Severus gently cupped her cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "James will get him to speak, and he will recover."

"It's so unfair, Severus. Why didn't we see it earlier?"

"We can't change what has happened; we can only try to give him a good and safe life now. It will be a long and stony way but we will go it together."

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