[-]
You fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time
But that's okay, I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine
I'm driving, here I sit, cursing my government
For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement
Tear in My Heart – twenty one pilots
[-[-]-]
Jack couldn't help but take a glimpse every now and then at Piper. From what he had seen, she had been beaten up badly, yet she was taking it so well. Aside from the occasional grip of her jaw, she seemed to be doing just fine. He had many thoughts running rampant in his head about what he just did, but right now, he was more concerned for Piper.
Piper chuckled, stopping dead in her tracks as Jack took another look at her. "Alright, what is it?"
He stopped as well, turning to face her. "Hmm," Jack began, eyeing her jaw. There was an obvious bruise along the side. He wasn't sure how she could still be talking after the hard hits she got. "…nothing. Don't worry about it." Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm the worrying one here.
"If you say so," Piper returned. She gave a small smile, and started forward. Jack always enjoyed that easy, small smile that she did so often. After about a half hour of hiking later, Jack couldn't take it anymore. He stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. When she turned her head towards him, Jack took her chin in his gloved hand.
"Alright, I lied. Are you alright, Piper? You took quite a beating back at the gallery," Jack said, concern in his tone of voice.
"Jack, I'm fine," Piper told him. He wasn't convinced; not one bit. He ran his finger along the bruise on her jaw, putting a little force. She winced, but quickly regained her composure.
"You feel that? There's a decent sized bruise there, Piper. And I'm assuming both your back and your knee don't feel any better," Jack informed her, letting his hand fall to his side. Piper looked down, fidgeting with her fingers and then the buttons on her trench coat. He looked down at her hands as she did, noticing the blood, and grabbed them. "Piper, your hands are all bloody. When we get back, we're stitching those cuts."
"Blue, I told you, I'm alright," Piper told him, slowly pulled her hands from his. Why is she trying to hide that she is obviously in pain? Jack thought. "Why are you worrying so much anyways?"
It's Jack's turn to look down at his own feet. He wants to just tell her, because I love you, or because I always worry about you. But it's not enough. He took the courage to look back up and into her eyes. "Piper, listen. I know I shouldn't worry so much. But everyone I've ever loved has either died, or left me. And I'll be damned if your name is added to that list." As he finished his sentence, he dipped his hand into his pocket, gripping the two rings that could burn through the fabric.
Piper frowned, but never let her eyes fall from his. "I get that, Jack. But I promise, I'm alright," Piper told him.
"Sure," Jack said, pulling his hand out of his pocket and crossing his arms. The sarcasm was obvious in his voice. "I'm sure you're absolutely all sunshine and rainbows." At that remark, Piper playfully punched his arm.
"Would you be happier if I allowed you to give me a piggyback ride?" Piper joked around, not expecting him to say yes to her question. Jack told her I don't care, get on when Piper had tried to explain that she was just joking.
"You've got to be kidding me, Jackson," Piper replied.
"You're going to ask sooner or later, so just get on," Jack protested. With a sigh, Piper climbed onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jack tucked his arms around her legs, and continued forward. "See, this is fun."
Blowing a strand of hair out of her face, Piper retorted with, "You're having fun just because I'm on your back." Jack nearly dropped her at hearing that, but quickly regained his composure and readjusted his one arm that kept Piper in place. He laughed, and then fired back another comment.
"That's far from the truth, my love. I'm having fun because I don't have to worry about you being uncomfortable," he explained as Piper snuggled her head into his shoulder.
"Well," Piper initiated, reaching her hand down to place it on his armored chest. "I can't complain; your shoulder makes a damn decent pillow."
Jack smiled. "Nora said the same thing." For once, Jack could mention Nora and not feel heaviness in his chest. The days where they did nothing but lay down and rest their heads on each other's shoulders quickly flooded his memories, but this time, they brought great delight instead of overwhelming agony. The pair continued down the broken road, leaving each other to their thoughts. As Jack's thoughts began to wander, Piper pressed a silent kiss to his cheek. His mind filled with several things he could say about how much he treasured Piper, and his chest filled with a giddy feeling. He had let that feeling escape him when he left those two weeks ago, and he swore he'd never let it escape again.
The lingering trace of her lips on Jack's cheek slowly faded away. The stillness of the afternoon gradually made him and his thoughts uneasy. The reality hit him that he put a finish to the one individual that added fuel to the flame that was his suffering. He had already begun to heal, what with Piper by his side once more, but killing Pickman? It made him feel somewhat lousy, almost. It was nearly the same realization he gathered after he slaughtered Kellogg. Mama Murphy had explained the outcome; if you kill the pariah who took your son, know that it won't dull the ache of what's to come, and what has come. Jack never listened to her words, but she was right. It never resolved anything. It only made him feel more irritated with himself and at the world he found himself in when he figured out that Shaun was the big head honcho of the Institute.
And now, it was happening all over again.
"Jack."
Piper's sudden uttering of his name startled him, pulling him out of his mind. "Yeah?"
"You're thinking, aren't you?" Piper questioned, tapping him lightly on the chest.
"How'd you know?"
"For one," Piper started. "I've accidently kicked you in the leg numerous times and you haven't said anything. And two, you zone out when you think. We went a little bit off the path."
Jack blinked a few times, observing their surroundings. The road had curved, and Jack must have walked straight off it. "Shit, uh, hold on," he told her, turning around and hurrying back onto the road. "Sorry, just kinda… spaced out."
Piper laughed, pressing her lips to his neck this time. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Jack returned the three words that summed up everything he has ever felt for her. After about ten more minutes of traveling, the pair approached the outer alleys outside the wall of Diamond City. Piper hopped off his back, feet crunching in the snow.
"I should go check up on Nat," Piper said. The tone in her voice told Jack that she didn't want to leave him. "You can go ahead and head home, if you want."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll stock up on supplies while I'm here," she explained.
"Alright, please, be safe," Jack said, drawing her closer by the scarf that matched the exact color of her lovely green eyes and pressed his lips to hers. Piper's hand snuck up his arm and eventually reached his neck, deepening the kiss. He went to pull away, but she clawed her way back to him, clutching his hands in hers as their lips met once more. By the time they pulled apart, they were left breathless. Jack smiled, staring into her gleaming, starry eyes. He could drown in the pools of her eyes. He loved how every time they pulled away from a kiss, it would almost render the two of them speechless. He loved even more that her eyes always glistened afterwards.
Piper patted his chest plate. "One hell of a g-goodbye kiss, ain't it?"
/\/\/\/\
I've been thinking too much, help me
I've been thinking too much, help me
I've been thinking too much, I've been thinking too much
I've been thinking too much
Help me
Ride – twenty one pilots
[-[-]-]
Jack never broke that promise he made back out on the road; he would stitch up Piper's cuts on her hands when they got home. Piper sighed, closely watching Jack as he worked on the stitches. She didn't even realize that she fought hard enough to cut her hands open. Curie stood behind Jack, handing him whatever he needed, when he needed it. "Fighting is so unnecessary," she spoke, wincing at the pain momentarily.
"Says the woman who beat the ever-loving shit out of Pickman," Jack said, looking up at her for a second before returning to the task at hand. Within a few moments, he finished up the stitches. "All good. Thanks for the help, Curie."
"Of course, monsieur! Glad to be of assistance," Curie replied before whirring out of the room. She watched her Blue stand up and walk over to his workbench, leaning his hands on it. Piper watched him with a keen eye, never allowing herself to look away from him. Piper was never a stranger to seeing him stand idly at his workbench. Since the two started traveling together, Jack would always be at his workbench, either working on something, or just fiddling with the tools that he used so often. She knew by now that the workbench was a place for him to think, and thinking was not something that was usually pleasant for him.
She crept up behind him, wrapping him up in her embrace. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Just… sharpening my knife," Jack answered Piper's question, looking over his shoulder at her. As their gazes met, Piper smiled. She could be captivated by his hazy blue eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul. She saw gentleness, faith, and strength within his eyes. She could see a world where everything was perfect; a world where they could settle down and not have any lingering problems, a world with no threat of impending doom. But that wasn't the world they lived in, and this time, Piper saw confusion and dissatisfaction.
Thinking was not something that was usually pleasant for him.
Jack tapped the edge of the blade against the workbench. "I thought it would help."
There it is. "I know," Piper added. She slid in between him and the workbench and squeezed him in her arms. "You were angry. I don't blame you for killing him."
"I just… I wish I listened to Mama Murphy about that before I killed Kellogg. You'd think I would have learned by now," Jack said, gently running nimble fingers through her hair. "But here I am, feeling worse than I did before we went after Pickman. God, I hate myself sometimes." Piper willingly allowed him to ramble on about oh, how much of an idiot I am and I should have got the goddamn memo. What else could she do? No amount of reassurance would change his mind, Piper knew. Because he was a destroyer of worlds and destroy his own world, he would do. Piper didn't know how to handle such self-destructive behavior. She herself was the same way. She never had anyone to tell her that she was an acceptable human being, save her sister. All Piper knew was to just tell him that he was valid and that he was worth something. Both were true, but no matter how hard she tried to convince him, he'd always say otherwise. Her words stopped working. And she was ashamed of that.
It amazed Piper how such little things could set him off like this. "Blue…"
"I know. I know I'm worth so much more than I give myself credit for. But it's so hard to convince myself that I am worth it," her Blue muttered.
"Blue, I'm sorry I don't have any words that can really help you but… it's worth it. Everything we've been through, for better or for worse, has been worth it."
Jack pressed his lips to her forehead. "I'm trying."
"I know you are," Piper said, running her thumb across his cheek. "You can do it."
"Thank you," Jack said, looking down for a moment as his hand searched his pocket. When he pulled his hand out, he opened his closed fist to reveal his two rings. Piper's heart skipped a beat. "I want you to have one of them. I'm not proposing and it doesn't really mean we're married, I just… I want you to have it. If anything is to happen between us like it did two weeks ago, or if we get lost and can't find each other, you'll have the ring. To, you know, keep your faith intact." He gently slipped the ring onto her finger. It fit her finger almost perfectly, only being a tad loose. Piper launched herself into his arms, face snuggled into her chest.
"I'm not worthy of this, Jack," Piper said, her voice muffled by his shirt. She pulled away from the embrace and twisted the ring on her finger. "Isn't this Nora's ring, or…?"
"Nope," Jack started, twisting his ring onto his own finger. "The original rings are gone. Destroyed. The only thing left of the old rings is just a pile of dust that has probably blown away by now."
"Why did you…"
"It hurt too much to keep the old ones. I made these ones… they're special," Jack explained. "Take me giving one of the new rings to you now as symbolism. For now, at least."
Piper couldn't process any words. Words. What are words? "I... Blue, I…"
"I love you, too," Jack says with a smile. Piper loves this man.