Entry 35

December 18,

Exams are over!! Halleluiah Jesus! I want to sing to the world. No more studying for at least 3 weeks!

December 20,

I'm currently on the train back to James's. I'm really depressed about this whole thing. I don't know if I can look out to the window and see my old house, where my parents last few days were. I don't know if I can do it.

I'm leaning against the window; James is next to me with his hand on my knee and its making me want to scream, because he is rubbing it in circles, tantalizing me. Lupin is next to him. Charlotte and Melanie are across of us, talking in whispers. We're about half way into our journey. Sirius is on an exposition to find some grub.

Oh and Peter is lying on the floor.

"So Pete, I saw that hufflepuff girl checking you out." James said, giving him a kick.

"Who?"

"Lisa Bones, I think she's pretty cute. You should go for it."

"I kinda like someone else though…"

"Oh really who?" Melanie said, finally finishing her conversation with Charlotte.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Oh what, do you want a Slytherin?"

He was silent. "You do!?" Charlotte said, in horror.

"They're not all bad. If I do recall you dated one last year."

Silence.

Charlotte flushed a rarity for her.

"Who dated a Slytherin?" Sirius said in the doorway, a bundle of food in his arms.

Wow, bad timing.

Melanie recovered first. "You—you dated a Slytherin?"

She nodded.

I gasped.

"Why didn't you tell us??" I asked, the hand on my knee was stilled, the fingers tightened.

"It was Josh. It was only like a few dates."

"That's not how I heard it." Peter said in a snide voice.

"I think you've said enough." Charlotte said in a snarl.

"I didn't think you'd understand." She said turning to us.

"I don't." James said in a tight voice.

"Look, it was just a few dates, and then we broke it off. We knew it would never work, and we didn't have hardly anything in common."

"They way he told it you two were together for ages."

Charlotte turned to Peter, fire in her eyes. "He told it wrong. And why would you be talking to him anyway? Are you part of the death eater wanna be club now too?"

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing? You dated one."

"Before I understood everything!"

"Just think—one of his friends, or even him, could have killed your best friends' parents!"

She slapped him.

She walked out of the compartment, past Sirius who was stilled stunned at against the door. Peter left moments later, slamming the door and stalking off in the opposite direction. Sirius came in and sat next to Melanie, still looking dazed.

We were all silent for a moment.

"I'm going to go find her."

Sirius left, leaving us looking around the room.

"Is anyone else a little nervous that Peter knew this information…from the other side?" I murmured. We all just sat here for a few moments, while I wrote it all in this journal, until we knew Sirius had found Charlotte.

"How could you do this?!"

"It was like 3 dates Sirius, get over it!"

"He's best friends with my brother!"

"So??"

"I knew you had a lot of guys in the past—"

"Oh that's rich! Coming from Sirius Black! Didn't you loose your virginity at some ridiculous age of 12?!"

"It looks like you were just born a whore! Get out of my sight."

"Fine Sirius! Fine. Just go find some stupid blonde bitch to fuck away your problems!"

"Fuck you."

I saw Charlotte zip past our compartment, her face smeared with black make-up, her black shinny hair whipping past her, flying in all directions.

"I'll go find her…" Melanie said, excusing herself away. She didn't like sitting her with Remus either, they still hadn't made up.

"I'll erm, go find Sirius." James said, giving my knee one last squeeze.

I looked at Lupin for a moment. "Did you tell her?" I had to know if he told he was a werewolf or not.

"You know?"

"Of course."

He sighed, and put his tired face in his hands. "I royally fucked up."

I chuckled, "looks like a lot of that is going around."

"I couldn't tell her."

"Why not Remus?"

"I—I stood there, and she was looking at me with this big blue eyes, they trusted me. Trusting me to tell her the truth and save the relationship, but I couldn't, I couldn't do it."

"Did you ask for more time?"

"No. I didn't think of that. I just said that it wasn't her right to know."

"Remus…" That was the worst thing he could have said…

"I know, I know. I told you I royally fucked up."

"You need to talk to her." He nodded, "Tell her the truth Remus."

"She won't want me."

"She doesn't want you now."

He chuckled, "No, she doesn't. But, the rejection right now is accepted. But if she were to reject me for who I am, what makes me, me, I don't know if I could handle it. I—think it would…."He trailed off. I scouted closer to him, and put a hand on his and squeezed it.

"Remus, I'm going to tell you something and I want you to hear me. Do you understand?" He nodded at me, "Being a werewolf is a part of you. But it is, in no way, what makes you, you. You are an amazing human being. You are special. You would still be this wonderful if you were a mermaid. You deserve a girl that will love you no matter what you are, what you do, or anything you choose to do. Having this part of you is something that happened to you, it has changed you yes, but it did not make you. You have a beautiful soul, and no full moon could ever change that."

He smiled, "Thank you." His face looked less strained and more relaxed than I'd see it in quite some time.

"You are so loved Remus, by every one. Just let them in every once and a while, ok?"

James returned with Sirius later, Charlotte and Melanie apparently went and sat with Alice and Mary.

I wanted to go join them but James and I had prefect duties. We caught first years in a compartment completely making out.

In my day, when you were eleven you thought boys were icky.

Ok, maybe not, but we certainly weren't doing that with them….

"So Lily?"

"Yes,"

"No one is looking."

"Ok…?"

He leaned down and kissed me quickly, his taste lingered on my lips after they had left.

"I've wanted to do that for ages."

I giggled, yes giggled, and shook my head.

"I have a surprise for you."

"James, it's almost Christmas, can't you just wait until then? I feel quilt enough with this hanging on my neck." The emerald really did look beautiful against my pale skin and red hair.

"It looks beautiful."

"So what's this surprise?"

"Well, it's about where we're going actually…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mentioned to mom and dad about how hard it would be for you to see your old house—"

"Oh my god, you didn't actually move did you?!"

"No, no," He laughed, "I just suggested that we go to a vacation house."

"Oh."

"I don't know exactly where we are going, I just hope there are a lot of things to do there…I don't exactly want to be in a log cabin with those two 'couples' back there."

"I don't think it'd really matter." His eye browns rose, "Well, I don't plan on spending much time with them, do you?" He grinned.

"Did tell you parents we were together?"

"I didn't think I was supposed to…"

"You weren't."

"Lily….Are you…are you implying what I think you're implying…?"

"Sash, come on I think I hear some suspicious activity in that compartment."

"Suspicious behavior…a lot of that around here…"

I jibed him in the ribs.

A Shafer picked us up.

He was wearing a hat and everything. Even had a sign on it that read "Potters"

He wouldn't tell us where we were going, it was very frustrating.

The car was magically enhanced so we all fit comfortably. James and I sat as buffers with the unhappy couples.

"So…" I attempted a conversation.

It died.

A very awkward, very slow death.

It was a long car ride.

We pulled up to a long drive way about two hours later. I sat up straighter in my chair; my curiosity had been eating me alive.

It was a castle.

No, a mansion.

I thought their house had been a manor.

This damn thing had tower bedrooms.

I called one of those.

Not that I'd be in there very often if things went according to plan.

"Love?"

"What?" I answered James.

"This is the Potter Manor."

"But—But—What??"

"Well, everyone in the family gets to use this. But my family owns it."

"Thank god they didn't take us to our cabin up north, boring as hell." Charlotte said.

"Wait, when you said you didn't know where we were going…"

"I didn't know which house they chose."

I stared at him in awe.

We got out and his parents were waiting for us, smiles on their warm faces.

"Welcome home, darlings!" Mrs. Potter said.

They ushered us inside, giving us a tour of the west wing.

I didn't even wanna know what the other wings looked like. The west wing was almost as big as their house back on Joy Lane.

And that is really saying something.

James showed me a room, saying he wanted me to stay here. There was a huge fireplace and a balcony; it was painted a soothing green with all white linens. There was an attached bathroom was a creamy yellow.

Then he showed me that the next room over was his.

"This room always reminded me of you. It's so calming, yet beautiful. It's so…happy and fresh."

I walked up to him, toying with the collar of his shirt. "And just think how close you'll be when I'm in the shower, completely naked, the water running down my body…"

"Let's go join the others!" He grabbed my hand and dragged me downstairs.

There had to be a 12 foot tree in the living room. The house was so beautifully decorated.

Remus, Sirius, Charlotte and Melanie all sat on different chairs, staring at the chairs.

"Melanie, Remus, it's so nice you could join us for Christmas this year,"

"Yeah, maybe they'll have a right to know about you; maybe they'll be good enough for you." Melanie said in the most disdainful tone I'd ever heard her use.

"So when is the rest of the family coming over?"

"I don't know if they can handle this party…." Mr. Potter said sarcastically.

Well, it was the Holidays.

See you next Sunday! In James POV!

Lots of Love,

Jenna