"Oh God, Donnie..." He thrusted hard into his brother's hand. "God, that feels good—hey, you're squeezin' too tight—"

Smack!

Raphael shook his head from the smack and he looked to Mikey, confused. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Did you seriously just say Donnie's name while getting it on with me?" Mikey asked as he continued to give Raphael a slow tight jerk with his right hand.

Raphael blushed but couldn't recall his mistake. "Uh..." He swallowed and shook his head. "I don't remember."

"Serious rule breaker, dude." Mikey surprisingly didn't look very upset about it though. He was smirking and looking at Raphael with a lustful gaze. "So much for Mr. Romance sticking around, huh."

"It was an accident." Raphael sighed in relief as Mikey loosened his grip on his cock but the pace was kept with agonizingly slow strokes.

"An accident, sure." Mikey chuckled then watched himself thumb at Raphael's erection. "Oh, Leo, you have such a big cock."

"Hey." Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Mine was an accident; you can't do that shit on purpose."

Mikey let go of his brother and rolled onto his shell, pulling Raphael on top of him. "I'm just having fun." He shrugged with a carefree smile and raised his knees up so that Raphael was laying between his legs. "I don't want you to forget who you're fucking here."

"As if I could really forget." Raphael hovered over Mikey and stared back at him, suddenly becoming lost in what to do. They stayed in that position for thirty seconds, waiting for someone to make the next move.

Mikey swayed his hips slightly, blushing hard. "Don't start freaking out now, dude." He said in a soft voice.

"I'm not." However Raphael's tone was unsure.

"Then why aren't you blinking?" Mikey poked Raphael cheek.

Raphael pulled back his head. "Shut up, Mikey." He sighed and looked over his younger brother's face. "It's just...hard not to think about what happened before."

"I know but I don't want you to stop. It's okay now because we both want this." Mikey gave Raphael's cheek a gentle stroke before resting his hands onto his shoulders and swaying his hips again. "I really do want this, Raph."

"Then how about you top again."

"No, Raph. I want you to top."

"Why? You like topping don't you?"

"I don't want you to be afraid of this."

Raphael looked back down and noticed he wasn't as hard as he was a few minutes ago. This was seriously messing with his mind and it was embarrassing. "I really don't think I can, Mikey."

Mikey followed Raphael's eyes and slumped in defeat. "Would it help if you called me Donnie again?" He joked.

"I told you that was an accident." Raphael growled, looking back up at Mikey. "I saw him in the showers and we talked about some stuff. I didn't mean to say his name."

"What did you talk about?"

"That's not important right now." Raphael moved to get off of Mikey but Mikey pulled Raphael back on top.

"Don't give up, please." Mikey whined.

"I'm not going to be able to fuck you if I can't even get it up, Mike."

"It's all that mind over body bullcrap that Splinter talks about in our lessons, right? That's what it is. Clear your mind, Raph. I can help you." Mikey reached down and began to stroke Raphael again. "Don't think about that room. Think about how much we love each other."

"I'd rather you be on top." Raphael repeated in a grunt. He arched in response to Mikey's strokes and tucked his face against Mikey's neck. "It's not going to work, Mike. I'm out of the mood so just give it up. I can't stop thinking about that room."

Mikey stopped stroking when he realized that it wasn't working as great as he planned. He let go of Raphael and he kissed his cheek. "Would it help if I told you how much I really want you inside of me?"

"No.."

Mikey kissed his cheek again then sighed. "Stubborn. Alright, I'll be on top." Mikey gently nudged Raphael off then smirked and rolled over, straddling him. "Ha! Now you can't stop me." He grinned.

"From what?" Raphael held Mikey's hips.

"From forcing you inside of me." He made an excellent villain's laugh then yelped when Raphael knocked him off. "Aw, Raph." Mikey whined, curling up against his brother's side and nuzzling his shoulder. "I was just joking."

Raphael stared up at the ceiling and he took in a deep breath then let it out slowly. "I know, Mikey." He wasn't mad at Mikey, he was just feeling distant and unsure of himself.

"I bet you'd do it with Donnie." He pouted.

"Doesn't matter which one of you guys I try to sleep with, it'll turn out the same." Raphael said. Mikey still pouted and Raphael looked over and snorted. "You've never won us over with those big puppy dog eyes."

"Sometimes it works."

"Yeah then you do something stupid like—"

"—shake up all the Orange Crush sodas." Mikey grinned again.

Raphael answered with a smile and so Mikey nuzzled Raphael's arm once more as they went into another quiet moment. Mikey moved to lay his head against Raphael's plastron and felt his chest expand and detract from a large sigh.

"...I know all of this is new and awesome," Raphael began slowly.

"The sex?" Mikey smiled again. "Yeah, it's very awesome." He rubbed his hand against Raphael's plastron and churred.

"Yeah. And I know it helps you cope with what happened but it's not how I cope."

"You cope by smashing things." Mikey curled up closer against Raphael's side.

"How many times have you had sex with Leo besides when I watched you two in his bedroom." Raph asked.

"We've done stuff but...we haven't gone all the way except that one time. We exchanged Bjs and we both went inside of you." He smiled warily. "Did that feel good?"

"A little..."

Mikey frowned. "I don't want you to use us to hurt you. It doesn't make things fair, Raph."

"Do you want to play a video game?" He asked, changing the subject.

Mikey continued to rub Raphael's stomach. "No. Laying here with you is nice. Besides you always ask to play videogames when we talk deep like this."

"Maybe you should take the hint." he smirked.

"You talk to Leo about stuff. Why not me?"

"Leo practically forces me to talk about things...he thinks it's good to get things off the chest and brags about being such a great listener."

"Then you two fight the whole day."

"Because I don't need to talk it out. He doesn't give me a chance to figure things out before he wants me to start opening up to him."

Mikey climbed back on top of Raphael and crossed his arms over his plastron so to rest his chin down. "He cares."

"I know."

"I care, too."

"I know."

Mikey smiled as Raphael reached up and stroked his head.

"Let's just not talk for a bit."

Mikey frowned again, thinking everything had been going so well and now it was crap again. "Okay." he sighed.

Raphael continued to stroke Mikey's head then looked back at the ceiling, growing distant once more.

Mikey uncrossed his arms and hugged Raphael. He turned his head and listened to his brother's slow and steady heartbeat.