04/25/2015

Dear Evie,

We've started decorating your nursery. We settled on elephants finally and your dad is taking it to extreme measures. He always does everything in extravagance and excess. I had to stop him from buying a 4 foot elephant stuffed animal. It just wouldn't fit in the room. We began with painting the walls a friendly yellow, like the sun rising on a summer morning. Alexis has been practicing drawing elephants for a few weeks now, trying to get the perfect depiction of one for the walls. The first one she managed to paint on the wall is cute and very well done. She wants to do an elephant family with a grandma and grandpa, mommy and daddy, and two little elephants that represent you and Alexis. I can't wait to see the finished product. We still have a lot of work to do on it, but we are getting there.

I told you that I would continue with the story of true love so I will. I'll jump a few years in the story though to when your dad and I met for a second time, but this time your dad actually remembers. At this point it was 2009 and I had basically read every single one of your dad's books, several times. Because of my knowledge of his work, I noticed a connection to a murder that I was working. I decided to locate your dad to ask him a few questions about the case. I walked into the book launch party for the last Derrick Storm book and found him talking with your grandma and Alexis. I got his attention and he turned to me with this smarmy look that frankly pissed me off. He was the exact opposite of when I first met him, but when I looked into his sparkling blue eyes I'd be lying if I didn't say my heart jumped. Despite his demeanor, I couldn't help but feel drawn to him. I pushed all feelings of attraction deep down, not wanting to acknowledge them because, as I said, he came off as a pompous ass. Despite the conflicting feelings I was experiencing, when your dad kissed my cheek during that first case, I had to fight the urge to grab him and plant a big one on his lips.

The attraction was there from the beginning, no doubt, but it wasn't until about a year after working together that I found myself longing to see him when he was away, thinking about him at all hours of the night, and having dreams about him that made my heart race. I continued to push every new feeling down, smother it as best I could. I was in deep denial. In May 2010, I finally had enough with the flirting and dancing around each other and was about to tell your dad that I wanted to start something with him, but then his ex-wife walked into the precinct and ruined all chances of that happening.

Another year of unresolved tension, boyfriends, and girlfriends led your dad and me to one fateful afternoon in a cemetery. I was shot in the chest, fighting for my life. Your dad was cradling me, telling me not to leave him and then he said those three words that changed everything. He told me he loved me, twice to be exact. I looked up at him, fear in my eyes and longed to repeat the words back, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready.

Your dad visited me in the hospital after I had surgery. He looked so hopeful, so in love, but I ended up breaking his heart when I told him I didn't remember anything, when in fact I remembered everything. I wanted him to say them again so I knew for sure that he really meant it, but he didn't. I pushed him away and three months later I finally reconnected with him.

The tension was still there, there was no way to deny that. My heart fluttered and my fingertips would tingle every time he looked at me. I was so in love with him but too scared to do anything about it. After a fight and confessions of secrets we kept from one another, I found myself at his doorstep, hoping he could forgive me, hoping he could love me. He opened the door and I told him he was all I ever wanted. Just him. I kissed him, pouring everything I felt for him in that kiss without actually saying the words. I was a goner. I was completely in love with him.

So, that is the story of how we came to be. I want to tell you more about this love story, how we finally got married. I'll save that for another day.

Remember I will love you for always.

Love, Mom