Chapter 34 Glimmervoid

Ark World ~ Glimmervoid

Whatever blood might flow through these veins, it is cursed. For each breath, each step, each lingering moment after the last is a labored existence, please forgive me for what comes next.

For I fear my children, surely they too will have this accursed blood in their hearts and their minds. And it will taint them, as it has I, and then they too will fall to madness. And the madness will take them all too willingly.

And they will lie where I have lain, and they will stand where I have stood, and they will glimpse what I once saw. And they will die, like I have died, screaming as they are dragged into the dark folded place of the void; from whence we sprang.

This grand birth canal; this wide womb of imperishable night, this is where sin festers and dreams die. Never again will the sun shine, the moon is dead, and all is wrought from salt and shadow.

Tomorrow will never come. This night is eternal. This dark immortal stretch; clawing at the door and whispering in the cold, it is always ever vigilant against the dying candle light.

Forgive me god, for all my sins. Forgive me for every slight, for every fake, for every moment of doubt.

Forgive me for my transgression into that land of higher beings. I cannot bask in the glow of a higher power, for I will be burned to dust. The angel that lies beneath the ground with eyes softly shut is screaming.

The ark is in my hands.

Upon the alter I lay my fate, whatever end it might be.

It was cold here, the high winds stripping the warmth from my body like some ghastly spirit was trying to steal my soul. Perhaps then, there are shades of the damned lingering on this forsaken land, surely one is already my companion.

I speak lightly of the radiant form that stands next to me; blazing white hot even against the freezing rains that chilled me to the bone. She was quiet now, a silent watcher. Her charcoal black skin etched with lines, glowing like the darkest veins of fire from an active volcano.

It was fascinating to watch, the changing face of her body was a wonder to me. A miracle, or perhaps a curse, from a time I cannot even imagine. She caught me looking, a dismissive look, we had to keep moving.

I could hear my teeth chattering, strange that I could not even feel the rest of my jaw. Even though triple layers I could feel the bite of the cold, if I took even a moments rest; I fear I might close my eyes and never wake again.

The silent torch sucked in air, there was silence now on the mountain. I could see it now; these eyes could pick out his form easily amidst the backdrop of pure white.

The giant-like man was the worst possible enemy right now. We both understood this, but still.

This is not a fight that either of us can retreat from.

I am broken, I cannot fight like this, this cold has taken its toll on me far worse than I could ever have predicted. The strain of long drawn out battles has weighed heavily on us both. But I can at least be of some support.

Her eyes blaze, and then the rain stopped. All around us I could feel warmth, the rain turning to steam. It was a relief in a way, and then she was gone like a hazardous firework, speeding through the air like a comet. And then the rain was back, I hate the rain.

I rubbed my hands together; I couldn't even feel them anymore. With a grimace I removed the fabric that was tenderly wrapped around my hands. There was a long deep cut across my left palm that I could not remember receiving, the skin around it was an inflamed angry red with purple blotches stretching up my arm.

I knew this was going to be a gamble, but my arm was practically useless now. With the other hand I cleaned what I could of the wound, it looked bad. It still moved, but I think that was because all my nerves were shot and a signal had not yet reached my brain.

Across the ridge I could hear the sounds of battle, and the snap-hiss of explosive fire. This was a losing battle, a pattern we have repeated a dozen times now.

This was insanity, I plunge my hand into the frozen ground. All at once a thousand volts exploded through each of my exposed nerves as I formed the connection. Everything was sparks and blotches in my vision, in the distance I could barely make out a ball of fire exploding across the towering behemoth of a man's chest, a fireball that he simple shrugged off like it had been made of foam.

"Prometheus"

I felt her mental acknowledgement of my voice, even from this distance I could feel the gentle strum of the string that bound us together and reached her. Like always it felt like there was a bright light in my mind, like being touched by a tender flame.

Beneath me I could feel the beating heart of the world; my arm was the channel, all the vessels filled to the brim. My entire arm had turned a violent sky-like color, raging through the broken skin and into open circuits. Like a storm cloud moving across the sky of my skin, bringing with it the wind, rain, and fire.

It felt like I was holding onto what I imagine was the core of a nuclear reactor. Each moment that passed was another second that would lead to my death. Radiating out of my arm was an awesome power, but it was not something that I could hold. Not something any mortal hand should hold.

I strummed the strings of our connection again, foolhardy choices are meant to be made, and we survive off of the mistakes we have made. I plant my feet down firmly, this was a shot in the dark that will leave me with nothing.

But I meant every word I said.

I have already bet my life, doing this much is to be expected.

I rip my hand out of the ground; I can't even see I am in so much pain. My mind is reeling, I can't retain the fundamentals of breathing, and it is like my lungs will burst in my chest if I try to take another breath. I can see my broken arm leaking, liquid crystalline blue spraying from cuts and open wounds.

On the other side she was waiting, I was the anchor. All at once I let everything go, my head was brilliant white as every circuit in my body connected to hers, for a moment we were a single being, and then connection faded briefly to almost nothing as I fell to the ground.

I didn't feel like much of anything, I glanced to my left; my arm was disintegrated into a mass of tissue and blood. It was strange to acknowledge that it was gone. I couldn't even feel the absence of a limb. I couldn't even acknowledge the passing of time. I have done what I set out to do, a step further and a might have grasped eternity.

The ground beneath me rocked with an explosion. I could hear a roaring scream somewhere, it sounded like it was coming from everywhere around me. The wind was just playing tricks, that sort of thing is impossible.

I look up at the sky, the dark clouds blocked my view but up above there would be bright stars, I am sure of it.

At least the cursed rain has stopped. That was my last thought before I closed my eyes.

I awoke sometime later to the sound of crackling fire. The sound surprises me less than I thought it would, I had concluded that my death was a high probability, but my predictions had a way of failing to come true.

I briefly relished in the fact that I had survived somehow and then the pain hit me all at once. It was rolling through my body like a thousand hammers trying to break my skin apart from the inside and rattling all around in my skull, a million goblin miners, searching for a way out of a collapsing husk.

"Stay still, you are still very weak" Prometheus spoke to me.

Her soft voice sounded so frail compared to her form, I could feel a warm hand touch my face. And then the pain receded, I took a long ragged breath and opened my eyes. We were in a small cave somewhere on the mountain side, it wasn't much but it was sheltered from the raging weather outside. It was snowing now, I hate the snow.

"Did you win?" I ask her. Even thought it pained me to speak.

She looks at me, with those bright orange eyes and then looks away, almost embarrassed like. It was moments like these that made her seem so human.

"It was a tie" she said softly.

"Your life took priority" she said more assertively.

I silently wondered what constituted as a tie and then realized I was stroking my chin with my left arm. Both my arms seemed to be in working condition, as well as the rest of my body. She was silent, but it was surely her doing. The clay-maker who formed life, apparently she shaped me a new arm as well.

"What happened?" my next question was an obvious one; from a tactical standpoint alone we should have lost the battle. I am not sure there was any one good tactic for fighting that monster; it was a losing battle that we had been waging for the better half of a week now.

Even using my trump card, generations of compounded knowledge barely resulted in what could be called a victory. And that only worked once.

"Knocked him off the mountain" she responded in monotone.

I didn't ask any further questions, part of me was hoping that he had died from the impact but I doubt that was the case. I think we both had a sense of wounded pride, against that relentless pursuer we could barely put up a fight anymore.

In the cold night I thought I could hear a distant roar.

The berserker was climbing the mountain; it would only be a matter of time before we would have to face off against impossibility again.

Probability of success was virtually zero.

I just hope I am wrong again.

We trudged through the newly laid snow, the wind was silent now, but there was another storm on the horizon. I could only hope that we would reach the summit before it hit, I don't want to spend another day on this blasted rock if I can help it.

But lady luck is a cruel mistress.

I bit my cheek, I could taste blood. My leg hurt, I was lying on top of it at a weird angle. I couldn't tell if it was broken, no time to check. I pushed myself off the ground with my hands, my foot caught the ground and I stumbled, and then I fell to the ground as my other leg gave out under my weight.

I heard a sickening crack, which was my shoulder, shattering like glass as I struck the ground. My cry of pain was muffled by the crackle of thunder that exploded above me in a shower of sparks and fire.

In the distance I could see the clashing lights, and the deafening booms that would lead to the blooming of an avalanche of newly laid snow. And here I am huddled under this rock broken and beaten, once again unable to come to grips with my own helplessness.

I barely managed to make it back to that cave we came upon by chance. The fire had long gone out, but it was still warm here and safe from the elements. I couldn't even feel my body anymore as I fell to the ground; it felt so soft on the ground that I almost felt like I was home.

But home is a far off place.

Am I going to die up here? In this cold lonely place, I don't fear death. But I don't care to travel with its cloying embrace wrapped around me like a sheath. I felt my eyes close, and wondered one last time if I would never wake up.

And there she was in my dreams, there were a thousand ways she could hush my voice, and now there was just the warmth of embers. I don't understand what this kiss means to you.

Maybe I am a fool, maybe you are perfection, but in this moment you healed my thoughts. And for a moment I felt whole, as my dreams died away into this dark sandman's embrace.

"What kind of miracle are you waiting for?"

It would take a lot more than words to convey, whatever feelings might still linger in the dark of my heart. But I don't need to words to say, what cannot be spoken. You simply understand in that moment of clarity, when the wind touches your face and the earth seems so small.

My spirit could float in the vastness space for a thousand ages and never come to terms with my understanding. But I don't need to comprehend, I don't need to understand. I came here in search of answers, to a question I don't care to tell.

So then why do I care?

This rabbit heart inside of my chest is rattling in its cage.

I can't feel her anymore. No one knows my heart, not even I. I don't know if this feeling is one of anguish or one of anger. I am alone now.

The silence serves to strike this feeling home.

Across the face of the world I can see the smoke embers where she smote her ruin. The deep scars of earth and fire like the claws of an animal bearing fangs against its captor. And there lying before me, the crater where she fell like a meteorite.

If I had a symbol of faith, I might speak a prayer. But I am a coward who looked away; I have no words that can be spoken. I have no right to forgiveness.

"…goodnight"

That is all I can muster to say. Surely she understood, as she held the gate. I understand that she saved me again, but all I feel is a bitter regret.

Do I leave this place now…?

I will take this night and make it my home. Dwelling in the darkness like a child who has forgotten all, I fear not the light and shadows, nor the wind, the storm, and fire.

I am chaos atop a charging horse. I am order across a silver banner.

I feel irrational, unable to understand this pounding in my veins. I cannot explain this fickle state, the void is so close now that I could almost reach out and touch the heart of darkness.

I could salvage the pieces of my life if I could only just turn back, but that would be a lie. There is no going back. Whatever hopes might have been are long gone.

This cathedral made of earth stretches on for miles. The interior felt warm, safe from the elements, and the stone seemed to draw warmth from the heart of the mountain.

"And then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to make war against God."

The voice spoke in the darkness, echoing against the stone and reverberating in the air. Footsteps resound, the sharp sound of steel touching earth, slowly and methodically.

"This is the birthplace of the beast."

It is wrong what people say about death, it is not the choices that I have made that I dwell on. It is the choices I have not yet made, the path not yet taken that I think of.

The scream exploded across every surface, a terrible thing as the black beast of chaos rumbled and shook with each waking step. Behind him the priest preached, as priests do, about the end times.

In the center of these hallowed halls lies the altar.

The servant of fire is dead, that ember is long since swept away with the wind. But I am still her master, I am still the wielder of whatever flame might still answer me.

"So I will burn until my life is exhausted…"

In the end, that was my answer. Upon the altar my fate will be judged, as my father before him, and his father before him.

"…then I will become God."

I don't know who spoke those words.

I hold the Ark in my hands as I plunge into chaos.