Chapter 37
"How was your day?" Jake asked coming into the family room to find Sam with her feet propped up on the table while sitting on the couch and reading a book. "You know, if one of us did that, Mom would swat us."
"Yes, I know," Sam grinned. Jake chuckled.
"I met Jen for lunch," Sam answered his question.
"Did you have fun?" Jake asked, coming over to bend over her to kiss the top of her head.
"Yes I did," Sam shut her eyes and smiled softly at the touch of his lips.
"That's good," Jake straightened up and Sam sighed.
"How about you?" Sam asked him.
"Not a bad day," Jake told her. "We didn't lose any cows or calves."
"Good," Sam murmured.
"Do you still want to go out tonight?" Jake asked her.
"Don't you?" Sam looked up at him.
"I'm asking you," Jake reminded her.
"I'd like to," Sam answered. "I won't be able to go out for awhile in a month."
Jake nodded. "Then we go."
"Thank you, Jake," Sam smiled up at him.
Jake shook his head, embarrassed by the thanks.
"Oh stop it, Jake," Sam gave a laugh. "A wife can say thank you to her husband."
"I need a shower," Jake announced, taking a few steps away from her.
"I need you," Sam told him, serious.
"I need you too," Jake murmured.
"I love you," Sam whispered.
Jake looked surprised. "I love you, Brat."
The two of them looked at each other telling each other much with their eyes.
"What's going on, Sam?" Jake asked her.
"Later," Sam promised. "Go take your shower."
"You're sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Sam nodded with a soft smile.
Jake nodded and with another look at her, he headed for their room. Sam watched him until he disappeared and sighed. She adored him and loved him a lot.
"Hey Sammy," Quinn came through the family room.
"Jake's got dibs," Sam warned him with a laugh.
"I know he has dibs on you," Quinn laughed back at her. "As of tonight, I'll be a fiancé. You have just a few hours to leave him and come with me before I'm lost to you forever."
Sam burst out laughing.
"What makes you so sure Debi will say yes?" Sam asked.
"Of course she'll say yes," Quinn grinned. "Who wouldn't?"
Sam snorted and Quinn leaped over the couch to land next to her. Sam squealed.
"How come you can do that, but you trip over your hose?" Sam asked.
Quinn raised an eyebrow.
"Well when your hose is as lar…," he began before Sam clapped a hand over his mouth. Quinn laughed behind her hand.
"You're a nut, Quinn," Sam let go of his mouth and cupped his chin before she kissed him.
"I'm offended," Quinn stuck out his bottom lip.
Sam leaned in to bite it.
"Ow, Sammy," Quinn complained as he laughed. "If you want to taste my lips, just kiss me."
"I'm not allowed to kiss anyone but Jake," Sam pointed out with a laugh.
"Afraid you'll like another's kiss?" Quinn teased.
"Nope," Sam shook her head. "Jake's kisses are enough for me."
For some reason, the two of them thought of Bryan at the same time. They could see it in the others' eyes.
"I still love him Quinn," Sam assured him. "That won't ever change."
Quinn nodded slowly. "I've been thinking of him a lot lately."
"Me too," Sam leaned into Bryan's twin's chest and Quinn put his arm around her. "I think it's due to your birthdays coming up in a month and I'm due to have his child."
"Maybe," Quinn murmured. He cleared his throat and Sam wiped her eyes.
"Jakey's okay with all this?" Quinn whispered.
"All what?" Sam wondered. "My still loving Bryan? What choice does he have?"
Sam took a breath that almost sounded like a sob. Quinn tightened his arm on her.
"How can you turn off a love like that?" Sam whispered, the pain in her voice evident. "I'm having his child. I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. Then he was gone so quickly."
She did choke back a sob this time.
"Jake has been wonderful and I adore him," Sam still whispered. "I love him so much and he's just what I needed."
"Need," Sam corrected herself. "I will spend the rest of my life with Jake. I know that and so does he. So does Bryan and I think it's okay with Bryan. I feel a peace I haven't felt since losing him. Jake helped to heal me. I didn't want to live without your twin and if I hadn't been carrying his child, I might not have."
"I know," Quinn assured her. "I still feel like a piece of me is gone. I'm not sure that feeling will ever get better."
"A piece of you is missing," Sam told him. "A piece of me is missing. A big piece of this family is missing. That will never heal. To me, it's like a scab over a cut. It might grow over, but the wound and the scar is still there and will always be there."
Quinn put his other arm around her and the two of them sat thinking of Bryan. He could feel Sam's tears as they wet his shirt, but he didn't say anything right away.
"Very profound, Sammy," Quinn finally whispered. "I like that analogy. Both of us will carry the scars for the rest of our lives."
Sam nodded, wiping her eyes again.
"Though it doesn't mean we have to stop living," Quinn went on. "It took me awhile to realize that. Debi helped me."
"Just as Jake helped me," Sam told him.