Disclaimer: No, Lord of the Rings isn't mine. Sigh. Don't rub it in, ne?
Author's notes: So - here's Chapter 8! Sorry that I haven't been writing - what with work and Chinese New Year, I haven't had the time, and when I do, I'm usually tired enough that even thinking of opening MWord seems about as difficult as climbing Mt Everest... But yeah, I'm getting off my butt now to update, eh? I'm still going to be busy, but I'll work on chapter 11 when I have time.... chapter 9 and 10 are still unbetaed anyway.
Now, about chapter 7. Many of you commented that it seemed rather sudden, how Lady had lost her hope. The thing is, I was leading up to it from the end of chapter 6 already... it was obvious that Lady wasn't in the best of moods, and now you know why. ;) I know there are many other things coming that will not make sense if read on their own - but they will be explained in future chapters, you see. Really. But feel free to ask me questions and give feedback - I'm always happy to explain! :) At least I'll know if you have questions, that you're interested and have read my humble little fic, right?
So - more slow-moving, deep thoughts kind of stuff - bear with me! I'm working on getting some action ASAP!
Thanks to all who have read this far and are still here. I know I say this with each update, but I really am grateful. You don't know - I've been so worried that these new chapters would be terrible, that they'd drive away all you wonderful readers because I don't feel their quality is as good as the ones previously posted. I'd be glad if they were - but don't feel they are. Anyway, I hope this one continues to meet my readers' standards... please let me know if it doesn't! If you don't tell me I won't know there's anything wrong... or if I'm doing something right!
K - enjoy!
RK9.
Review responses:
JenCarpeDiem - I'm glad you liked the quotes! I periodically browse the web, looking for quotes - I collect them, you see. :) I'm always super-excited when I find one that I feel can match this story - I put it in straightaway if I can!
Alas, sleep isn't something I had much of while working for my aunt... but yeah, I eventually got used to it. And technically, I had the Chinese New Year holidays to catch up! :)Thanks for your review - I thought it was great! Don't worry - reviews don't have to be full of flowery praises and whatnot - just say what you thought of the fic, give concrit where needed, and maybe offer advice for improvement or just say you think the writer's doing fine, and should continue to do so! Basically - if you don't need to give concrit, then encourage as much as you can! We writer's need it!
Inspired Butterfly - Ooh, wow. I suspect you kept the review window open as you read - lol! Yes, I'm home now... might be going to work again, depending on whether my mum needs my help at home or not. Anyway...with Chinese New Year over, holidays end too... so back to the ol' grindstone. Thanks for the review!
BadWolf-Phoenix - LOL, well, haven't had any reviews challenging that statement so far! :) Hope I won't either... thanks for reviewing!
memory bleeds - Glad you noticed the double meaning! Haha - you might be the first to guess what will come next... ;)
Temeti - Leading up to when they find out they knew each other from before... hm. Sort of. ;) You're good at figuring what happens next, aren't you? I wonder if I'm making this all too cliched?
Empress Hellfire - Thanks for the review, and welcome to the Saga of the Wolf - and wow, that seems to be the most popular question everyone has. Tell you what - check out my profile poll, if you haven't already, and you'll find out if she turns back at the end of this fic, okay? ;) LOL - it's not set in stone, I could say now that she'll change back but I might change my mind later... but currently, I'm leaning towards changing her back. You'll see. :) Please keep reading! And thanks again!
Thanks also to Rushingriver, Black Wolf-Dog, fireboltcrazed, THE DEADLY ANGEL, Sincere , CRAZY little Dragon, Starset, sandcat, Yellow-Fluffy-Monster, Kaisaan, Ryle Culler, J. C. le Mysterieuse, and Dunedain Ranger of the North for their reviews too!
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Chapter 8
Over the next few days, I began working to recover my strength. Though Kelda's Stone of Sincerity had helped me to see my true problem and thus helped me regain the hope I had lost, it could not tell me how I had lost hope in the first place, nor could it replace my sapped physical strength, and so the healers prescribed rest, and plenty of it. Not yet strong enough to argue with them over that decision, I simply allowed them to do as they wished with me, figuring that resting might not actually be such a bad idea. The road ahead was apparently going to be a bumpy one, and I'd need my strength to get over the bumps that got in my way.
Through mutual agreement, the six of us who had been in the room with Kelda made a decision to keep to ourselves the events that had transpired there, partly because no one else truly needed to know, but mostly because no one would believe us anyway. All the Rohan healers knew was that I had somehow made a miraculous recovery, but was still physically weakened, and so they set about trying to help me overcome this problem with great enthusiasm and eagerness. I suspect they were just happy to actually find me down with a problem that they could actually cure, and so I received two full-body massages a day, brews of energy-replenishing herbal mixtures (most of which tasted only slightly better than goat's pee, in my humble opinion), and an unending litany of admonishments to "rest, rest, and keep resting". I complied, but whenever I got tired of all that "rest" I would quietly slip away from my rather suffocating but well-meaning caretakers and leave to seek out Aragorn near the watch-towers of the city, where the Ranger had almost-literally set up camp.
Once he was satisfied that I would be all right in the care of the healers without him, the Ranger had sought out a place near said towers, on the porch of one of the buildings nearby where he could keep an eye on the mountains: specifically the White Mountains, where the beacons of Amon Dîn stretched in a long row from Gondor, just waiting to be lit. I knew he was waiting for Gandalf's signal, the sign that meant that Gondor was calling for aid. Every day, he would go to that same porch all alone, and his gaze would turn south to where the white city lay, and then he would just wait, as patient as a spider waiting for dinner to fly into its web. Outwardly, all about him appeared calm, but I and those who knew and loved him could easily sense the inner tension that bound him, wrapped around him like a tangle of thorny vines. He worried for Gondor, I knew, and though I wasn't sure I understood completely why – though from Ethyliss I felt I had a pretty good idea - all that mattered to me was that the safety of that city was important to him, and so it was important to me as well.
Sometimes, Legolas and Gimli would join him there, or sometimes Merry, who had grown quieter, more subdued and serious with Pippin gone. Éowyn had gone once, but no more after, forced to stay in the hall in order to tend to matters that commanded her attention as the Lady of Rohan. And I – well, I could almost certainly be found there every day if not confined to the healing wing, stretched out at his side, supported and strengthened by his silent presence as we sat and gazed southwards together without speaking or moving any more than we absolutely had to. The healers protested at first, of course, but stopped after the first day when they realized that far from worsening, my strength and overall health seemed to improve with closer proximity to the Ranger. Whatever it was that had drawn me to Aragorn for the restoration of my hope, it now kept me bound to him even after Kelda's gift of Sincerity had helped me regain what I had lost, and I found that staying by his side actually helped me heal far faster and better than any of the remedies and cures that the healers tried to give me. I was markedly improved and much stronger with Aragorn near me at all times, and so by the second day they allowed me to return to sleep with my friends in our room and by the third, they were encouraging me to follow the Ranger wherever he went, as closely as a second shadow - not completely understanding why he made me better but knowing as healers not to question a cure that worked.
It was here, during the time we spent together, that I learned a little more about Gondor and Rohan, two lands that Aragorn had visited before as a younger man, though under a different name. Thorongil, he had called himself, 'Eagle of the Star', and he had served under Théoden's father Thengel and under the Steward Ecthelion II of Gondor. He told me of the Oath of Eorl, a promise sworn by Eorl on behalf of himself and his heirs that should Gondor ever be attacked, the Rohirrim would be bound to come to its aid under pain of falling into shadow and becoming an accursed people. This in turn, though Aragorn said no more about the subject, told me how strange and out of character it must have seemed to him when Théoden-King had almost turned against this oath of his forefather, when he'd seemed almost ready to forget the Oath of Eorl and ignore Gondor's cry for help. Because of that, Aragorn had his doubts regarding the King, I knew. He worried that when the time came and Gondor lit the beacons and called for Rohan's aid, that Théoden would truly ignore the call and leave Gondor to their fate. But I knew better. Théoden was a man of integrity and honor, a good man with a golden heart who would not betray the word of his ancestor. He would not simply leave a nation that was in need to their own devices, and he would not abandon allies or friends when they needed him and his men and all the strength that Rohan had to offer. And I was sure that Aragorn, deep in his heart, knew this too.
So, on the fourth or fifth day when the sudden blaze of urgent orange first appeared on the peak of the hill nearest to Edoras, we neither of us hesitated or stopped to think. Aragorn got slowly to his feet, staring at the flaming light as though in disbelief that the signal was finally here, and then he turned, dropped the bowl of stew that was supposed to have been his breakfast, and bolted for the Golden Hall. I sighed, looked regretfully at the wasted food and set off after him at a light clip, following him all the way down the path, up the steps, over the landing and into Meduseld, where he exploded into the main hall, slamming the doors open and crying out:
"The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit!"
Thudding to a halt before the King and his startled advisors, Aragorn panted, "Gondor calls for aid." His eyes flew up, filled with a conflicting mixture of expectation and uncertainty, and landed directly on the King.
Éowyn moved from her place by the fire to stand beside and slightly in front of her brother Éomer. Legolas' eyes narrowed slightly from where he and Gimli stood quietly by one of the great golden pillars that lined the hall. The room fell silent, and everyone watched and waited as the King nodded thoughtfully to Aragorn, his expression stoically unreadable as he seemed to reach some silent conclusion in his mind.
Our faith in the King was not proven wrong. Straightening a little, proud and tall, Théoden declared, "And Rohan will answer!" Looking towards Éomer, he commanded, "Muster the Rohirrim!"
The Third Marshal nodded to his King, clasped his sister's shoulder gently, and left. Aragorn's anxiety melted into a quick, barely-there look of immense relief and gratitude, and then he too straightened and moved to speak with the King. Rohan was preparing for war, and the King and he exchanged some brief yet emotion-charged words over the table before I saw both men clasping each other's shoulders in the age-old symbol of brotherhood and friendship, whatever had been between them now buried and forgotten like dust on the wind. The Stones around my neck reacted as always to my emotions and theirs, and the blue glow of Friendship was especially bright in response to them both. And yet my heart felt strangely conflicted between relief and fear, for soon those who were left of our group of friends, along with thousands of brave Rohirrim, would be riding off to war.
Legolas came to stand by me, and I looked up at the Elf and at Gimli, who stood flanking his friend. He seemed to understand my sigh, and he lowered his hand to ruffle my fur in a gesture that I had long since grown used to and loved well.
'It'll be all right,' the gentle touch said without words, and I nodded uncertainly, thinking of the fighting and pain that was surely soon to come.
Outside, a bell began to clang, calling for the sons of Eorl to gather together for battle and war… and an age-old promise that had been made from one great man to another long, long ago…
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"Forth rode the king, fear behind him,
fate before him. Fealty kept he;
oaths he had taken, all fulfilled them."
- Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien
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The courtyard of Edoras was soon filled with the thunder of many horses and men, all gathering together and preparing to ride at the King's command. Where only a few days before the city had been getting ready for celebration of life and victory, today they prepared to ride for war. I watched from the window of our room, perched on a chair with front paws on the sill, as the full muster of Edoras was called out, knowing that the King wanted all to ride out come noon to Dunharrow, a refuge of the Rohirrim hidden in the White Mountains and fortified against attack.
It wasn't just the men I was watching, but also the families who had come out to bid them farewell and safe riding. Women were weeping, holding husbands, sons and brothers close, eliciting promises that they would return when the war had ended, when the enemy had been defeated – promises the men themselves might not be able to keep, but for the women's sake, they made them anyway. I saw children watching: some in excitement, some in quiet acceptance and fearful sorrow – and they too, were being hugged and kissed, and I had no doubt they received the same promises of return that had so reassured the women, even if they too knew that such promises were futile…
I sighed. The gift of Sincerity, while having saved my life, was only a pain in my heart here, causing me to ache deep inside for these innocent souls. Although remaining safely here at home, the woman and children were nonetheless as equally affected by the war as the men who fought in it. While the men fought for the safety of themselves and their families, it was obvious to me that the women and children had their own battles to conquer here at home, waiting and hoping and praying for their loved ones to return home safely. Fathers, husbands, brothers, sons… even cousins and uncles and lovers. To have the courage to wait – I wasn't sure I could do that and not go completely stir-crazy, unable to do anything but stay put, care for the home and children, and hope that my loved ones would make it home in the end. That took a brand of courage that too often went unrecognized and unvalued, and I just…
Sighing, I turned from the window, ignoring the echoing sighs of the Stone. Sitting there and watching them wouldn't help matters any. The time for such musing was over – I had a decision to make.
Aragorn had been hesitant to allow me to follow everyone to Dunharrow, seeing as how I had yet to recover my full strength. He insisted on having Master Redwulf examine me again, and only when the healer had determined that I could probably make the journey to Dunharrow at least with little to no complications did he agree that I could go along, if I so wanted to. I wasn't completely recovered, but the part of me that was wolf had given me a hardiness that no half-Elven could ever hope to possess, and so the healer was pretty certain that I would be fine – especially if I stayed near Aragorn, and since the Ranger was a healer in his own right, Aragorn could then decide on his own if I was fit to join the men in battle later on.
My friend had sighed in resigned acceptance at the healer's words, then looked at me and told me that he would let me decide if I wanted to go with them or not. He wouldn't make me stay or go one way or the other… as far as Dunharrow at least, he would leave the decision completely up to me. This was all fine and good, and I'm sure he meant well, but I was rather torn. See… I wasn't completely certain that I really wanted to go. Now, there was no question that I would willingly follow my friends to the ends of the earth in the name of Friendship, but somehow, this time I was just reluctant to join in the fight. It would have been different, had I been a fierce warrior like Gimli, or a skilled fighter like Legolas, or even a great leader of Men, like Aragorn. I'd have actually been needed then, there wouldn't have been much of a choice. But I wasn't. So far, I was just someone tagging along, riding on the backdraft from my friends' wings. I wasn't a hero – they were. I was like a sidekick, swimming along in their wake. And I don't know when I had changed… but I wasn't as eager to fight as I had once been, and I felt that maybe I wanted to stay here, in Meduseld, safe…
…and alone. For even Éowyn and Merry were going: Éowyn following the tradition of the women of the court to farewell the men, and Merry as the newly named esquire of Rohan – therefore, both for the love of Théoden of Rohan, albeit in different forms and guises.
Noon was coming soon, and I was nowhere nearer to a decision of any kind. Anxious and uncertain, knowing that two paths lay before me and I either had to choose one to take or let it be chosen for me, I went outside of the hall, watching as Aragorn mounted Brego amidst the throng of Rohirrim. Ah, dang. Forget coming soon, noon was here. The men were turning their horses, and Théoden-King was already riding towards the main gates. I saw Gimli and Legolas on the faithful Arod, and the Lady Éowyn on her horse, Windfola, and even little Merry was bouncing energetically on a small hill-pony, a shaggy white-gray creature named Stybba. There, they were all going. Now was the time, to go or not to go?
Aragorn looked up and met my gaze. Holding that gray stare, I saw the question in his eyes as he turned Brego to face me for a moment. My heart was pounding, and I heard a sort of roaring in my ears as I stood there, unable to move, unable to decide, staring back wide-eyed at my friend… I couldn't decide, it was like my paws would start to jerk forward and move, but then they'd stop and stay still as fear and uncertainty kept them down and stationary. I had no idea… stay or go? Stay or go?
Just as far as Dunharrow… where another decision could then be made. After all, wouldn't Éowyn be returning to Edoras too?
With reluctant, cautious steps, each one uncertain and testing, I padded over to Brego's side, emboldened and slightly reassured by my friend's encouraging, understanding smile. As I had with Legolas, I knew what he was saying, though he used no words – and I had a pretty good idea that he could see right through me, too and knew exactly how torn I was about this.
"It'll be all right, Lady…"
And I nodded back, answering the only way I could, and together we followed the line of Rohirrim towards the gates of the city. The Stone of Sincerity still wept for those who would be left behind, but right now, I was still coming to terms with the idea that I wouldn't be one of them.
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Kudos, please drop a review! :)
RK9.