Nothing to intense in this chapter enjoy.
Ch. 36 Life is a Bitter Pill to Swallow
(FITZ)
"What happened?" Maya shrieks running over to me when Owen, Tris and I get to school Wednesday morning.
"Careful he has a cracked rib," Owen warns her and keeping her from hugging me.
"I'm okay it's a few bruises and cracked ribs, I'll be okay. My stepdad was hitting my mom last night and we got into it," I tell her.
"And he's never going back to his house, not alone anyway," Owen says.
"I'm glad you're okay," Maya says standing on her tiptoes to give me a soft kiss. "Well I was going to talk to you guys about something but I don't want to bother you with it now," Maya comments.
"Why what's wrong?" I ask taking her hand.
"No nothing's wrong it's just Clare's birthday is Saturday and she went through a lot of trouble for my birthday. She worked really hard to give me a really nice birthday party and an escape when our lives were a dark hell. And I know we're not living in that hell anymore, and I know she doesn't need an escape but I want her to have a nice birthday. I want her to have a nice party. Something relatively small, Christine said we could have it at our house but I need help planning and getting decorations and everything," Maya says.
"Of course we'll help just let us know what we can do," Owen says and I nod.
"Thanks I want to make it great for her and give her a sweet seventeen since she really didn't get a sweet sixteen. Tris help me plan decorations and food," Maya demands more than asks and takes Tristan's hand pulling him away down the hall.
"Thankfully I already have Clare's gift because I knew her birthday was coming up," Owen comments.
I smile and we walk to our lockers, I can barely even open mine and I'm regretting insisting I come to school. I voice this to Owen and he tells me I can leave anytime and reminds me the doctor said not to strain myself. In fact I don't even make it through first period, I leave the room and go to the nurse, she calls Owen's Mom who picks me up.
"You should go lay down on Owen's bed, I knew you shouldn't have gone to school," Iris says in a slightly scolding tone when we enter the house.
"Yeah I know, I'm going to take one of those pain pills and pass out," I reply going back to Owen's bedroom.
The pain medication knocks me right out, I sleep for a few hours and when I wake up I hear voices in the living room. Iris and my mom, I get up slowly and go out to the living room. Mom and Iris are sitting on the sofa, a stack of papers in front of them. If Mom has any bruises she's covered them. They stop talking when they notice me, Mom is giving me an apologetic look and Iris and look of concern and pity.
"What's going on?"
"I've relinquished guardianship to the Milligan's. After last night I had papers drawn up this morning and a judge signed them. Iris and Anthony have both signed them and they'll be filed tomorrow. You can't come to the house anymore Mark, Anthony and Owen can come get your stuff this weekend but you can't ever come back. Ed has threatened to kill you, more than threatened and I'm afraid he really will," Mom tells me through tears.
"What about you? Mom you have to get out of that house too, you have to get away from Ed or he'll kill you," I plead but in an angry voice as I sit next to her on the sofa.
"He'll kill me if I try to leave but I have to know that you're safe," Mom tells me cupping my face in her hand.
"Mom go to the police, they know what he did to me tell them he beats you," I beg worried that the next time I see my mom it will be at her funeral.
"I can't, Mark it's always been worse for you, even for Steve if I stay out of his way it will be ok…"
"Mom do you even hear yourself?" I exclaim with a rage in my voice that's been building for years.
"Mark you should go rest again," Iris says in a stern but caring voice.
"No I'm not going to go lay down again tell her to get out of the house!"
"Mark go lay down before you pass out and I have to call an ambulance, to take you back to the hospital," Iris says standing up and taking my arm.
"Iris she's going to die, he's going to kill her!"
"I know and we will do all we can to get her out and make sure she's safe," Iris tells me pulling me back into Owen's room. "The first step is to make sure that you're safe, I know men like Ed and he will kill you before he kills your mom. She needs to know that you're safe because if you aren't she won't have the strength to do anything but try and protect you," Iris informs me and I instantly think of Clare and Maya.
"But she's still in danger," I respond.
"I know but she's a battered wife Mark, she's going to make excuses and rationalize that she deserves it. I promise you that Anthony and I will use every resource we have to help your mom get out. I've already called Audra and they're coming to dinner tomorrow night. Ultimately it has to come from your mom to want to leave, she has to know that she deserves better. She has to know that and you can help but the most important thing to her right now is to know that you're safe. If you died it would kill her, she'd just give up but knowing you're out and fighting for her will give her strength. I've already talked to her about coming to dinner once a week and we will use that time to give her reason to get out."
"Yeah okay, we're going to get her out right? Away from Ed and Steve and that life?"
"Yes Mark we will do all we can. I'm going to make you something to eat and I'll send your mom back. Don't talk to her about leaving Ed it won't help. Talk to her about Maya, about your job, how you're doing at school," Iris says and I nod.
She leaves the room and I think about what to talk to Mom about. What I can tell her about my life to make her realize she has hope and she can have more. Mom comes in and we talk, I tell her a lot about me and Maya and Owen and Clare. She leaves when Iris brings me in lunch, kissing my forehead and telling me not to worry. I eat and spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about getting my mom away from Ed. Tris come home with Maya, she was worried about me but they also have homework. I find out from them that Clare wasn't in school. Maya sits with me for a bit before going to Tristan's room to do homework. Owen has hockey practice after school but comes home a little after five.
"Hey I heard about your mom, told you you'd never go back to that house. You're moving in permanently, we'll get your mom out too," Owen tells me coming into the room and setting his stuff down.
"Yeah hopefully before he kills her," I sigh as Owen sits on the bed to take off his shoes. "What'd I miss at school?"
"Nothing but Clare wasn't there," he replies and I can tell he's worried.
"Yeah I heard, you find out why?"
"I called her at lunch and she said she wasn't feeling well. I offered to come over but she said it was her period and she just needed to rest. I tried calling her again after school but she didn't answer," Owen tells me.
"Have you tried calling her since you got out of practice?"
"I was just about to," he says and we hear the doorbell ring and a minute later there's a knock on the bedroom door. We call to come in and Iris opens the door.
"Clare just showed up, she's in the living room with Maya and I've invited her to stay for dinner. I think she'll come back here in a moment but I'm going to run out and pick some things up," Iris tells us before closing the door again.
(CLARE)
SLAM the sound of the front door startle me. It's Tuesday night and Reese and I are in the bedroom doing homework. We're both on the bed since there is no desk in the room.
"Dad's home," Reese comments.
"Does he always slam the door so loud?" I inquire.
"He does when he's drunk, we should stay upstairs," Reese tells me.
He goes back to his homework and so do I. It's quiet for a little while and then we hear noises downstairs, not yelling but banging and loud muffled talking. We stay in the room until Robin calls us down for dinner.
"Just sit and eat, Dad's probably been drinking all afternoon," Reese advises as we walk downstairs.
I just nod and sit at the table; we eat in silence, very tense silence. I liked it better when Alex was gone for business, he's only been home two days and he's been drunk the whole time. Alex finishes eating first, pours himself another drink, sits on the sofa and turns on the TV. I don't feel very hungry and only eat a little, Reese scarfs down his whole plate and then gets up dropping his plate in the sink. It crashes in making a loud crash and a cup breaks, the sound of breaking glass gets Alex's attention.
"FUCKING MORON DON'T JUST TOSS YOUR DISH IN THE SINK LIKE THAT!" Alex yells standing up and crossing the room to where Reese is.
Reese tries to get away but Alex grabs his son by the arm and throws him into the counter. I strangle a shriek in my throat, getting up from the table I try to run to the stairs. Alex turns his attention to me; Alex takes two steps and puts his hand on my chest shoving me back into the table. Food spills, the table digs into my back and I sink back into the chair.
"SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" He yells and turns his attention back to Reese while Robin just sits there. Alex yells a couple more insults while he picks up a pan from the sink and hits Reese's arm as hard as he can. Reese just takes it and barely even makes a sound; I see the conviction in his eyes, conviction I know well, the conviction not to give them the satisfaction of making a painful noise. When Alex is done he takes another drink and sits back on the sofa. Robin goes back to eating and Reese gets up grabbing my hand and taking me upstairs.
Reese locks his door but when he closes it I see marks on the wall and the hinges. Marks where it looks like the door has been kicked in before and I know the locked door won't keep us safe. Reese sits on the bed and goes back to his homework.
"How bad is your arm?" I ask him.
"It's fine; it's not broken or anything. It'll just bruise, you okay?" He questions without looking at me.
"Yeah fine he just…reminded me of Glen," I admit realizing it myself.
"Your stepdad?" Reese asks and I nod. "He hit you too?"
"No not really, let's not talk about it," I reply and Reese shrugs.
I've already finished my homework so I start writing, I don't want to write about Glen or Jake so I write about Owen instead. The distraction works for a while, I'm happy thinking of Owen and Reese is just on the bed, I think doing homework. Then we hear Alex yelling again, he's yelling at Robin about something, he's angry but it's not loud enough that we can hear all the words. Almost more like loud gruff talking, it's still scary though and a lot of stuff is banging around again.
"We need to get out of here, he'll hit her and if he's not done he'll come for us," Reese tells me grabbing his coat and quickly putting on his shoes.
"What about your mom?" I question while putting on my shoes and grabbing my coat.
"He'll hit her and she'll take it, she'll take it out on us tomorrow so we should be gone. I've tried to help before it doesn't do any good. When Dad drinks he gets like this and you don't want to get in the way of his rage. Mom will be okay let's go," Reese says again with an austere tone.
Reese opens the window while I get my coat on; he climbs out using the drain pipe to get down. It doesn't look that safe to me but staying here isn't safe either. I follow Reese down, he helps me at the bottom and we leave quietly out the side gate. We walk a few blocks to an old house with peeling paint and loud music coming from inside. Reese knocks on the door and a guy answers, he looks to be about twenty. Reese introduces the guy as John and we go inside. There's a few other guys here all around the same age and drinking beer. They look at me and nod and go back to drinking beer, John offers me one and I shake my head. Reese gives me some water and we sit down and watch the bad movie with the guys. They're all pretty nice and we stay up until after two, mostly watching bad TV and the guys talking. John lets Reese and I stay over in the extra bedroom, which consists of a futon on the floor but it's a clean place to sleep.
"How do you know John?" I ask when we get into bed.
"He works with my mom, he's a cool guy let's me sleep here a lot when my dad's in one of his moods. I told you I got places to sleep when things suck at home," Reese replies.
"Doesn't anyone ever call the cops when your dad is like that?"
"Anyone ever call the cops when your stepdad was yelling at your house?" He asks and I shake my head. "People don't want to get involved or they don't want to think it's more than a fight, either way they don't mix in, don't want to call the cops. Let's not talk anymore," Reese says getting a condom from the table in the room and he hands me some water and one of the little pills that make me numb.
I lay there looking at the ceiling and the lights on it from outside. Reese is quick and when he's done tosses the condom and lies down again.
"Glen never hit, neither did Jake, not really not after the first few days. It wasn't about just being angry and drunk, actually Glen wasn't ever drunk. It was about pain, our pain and their pleasure. We got whipped and other things, very painful things when getting punished. Not at all like your dad but there was something in his anger that reminded me of Glen," I confess.
"He's always in a bad mood when he gets home from a trip, no idea why. We'll stay out of his way and he'll calm down, he's only like that when he drinks. And you don't ever have to see Glen again," Reese reminds me.
"I know I just wish he'd stay out of my head," I complain.
"Yeah well if you figure out that trick it a lot of people would like to hear about it," Reese comments. "When dad's like that just stay in the room and stick with me, I'll keep you safe. Get to sleep will you it's late," he yawns.
I close my eyes and fall asleep after a while. We sleep until after noon when my phone rings and it's Owen, he wants to know why I'm not in school. I tell him I'm not feeling well and it's cramps from my period so he won't come over so he says he'll see me tomorrow. John is gone when we get up but Reese gets us some food before we return to his house. We go in through the front door, the house is clean and his parents are appear to be gone. We go upstairs, I shower, we change and eat a little more. We have the house to ourselves for a few hours but when Reese hears his dad get home we leave through the backdoor.
"We can go back to John's and I know a couple other places we can go," Reese tells me when we start walking.
"Actually I want to see Maya, I'm sure I can stay the night there tonight. I'll see you at school tomorrow, if you go anyway," I comment.
Reese just shrugs and walks off in the other direction, it's a few blocks to Mr. Simpson's house. When I knock on the door no one is home but Owen's house is just a block and a half away so I walk there and ring the bell.
"Clare good to see you," Iris smiles when she opens the door.
"Clare?" I hear my sister's voice from inside and then see her face appear behind Iris.
"Hi I just went to Mr. Simpson's place to see you," I tell her as Iris lets me in.
"Is everything okay?" Maya questions.
"Yeah fine I just wanted to see you that's all," I reply.
"Maya and Tris are working on homework and Maya was going to stay for dinner you should stay as well. I'm just going to run and grab some things for dinner," Iris tells us and walks down the hall.
"How come you weren't in school today?" Maya questions.
"I wasn't feeling well did I miss anything?"
"Not much, but we did plan your birthday party, it'll be Saturday on your birthday at my house. I didn't think you'd want anything too big," Maya tells me. She spends a few minutes telling me about everyone she invited to the party. Iris leaves while we're talking and when Maya and Tris go back to doing their homework I go to Owen's room and know on the door. He opens it and smiles when he sees me, starts to hug me and then seems to decide not to as he sticks his hands in his pockets.
"Feeling better?" He asks.
"Yeah thanks," I smile and look at Fitz then my eyes go wide. "Fitz what happened?" I exclaim rushing to the bed and sitting down next to him.
"His stepdad, he's never going back to that house my parents are his guardians now," Owen informs me.
Fitz tells me the story, everything that happened last night and today, maybe there was something in the air last night considering how Alex and Fitz's stepdad were last night. Dinner is ready by the time Fitz is done and we all go out to the table. Anthony is home and we all eat at the table, after dinner Anthony and Tris take Maya home. They offer to take me home too but I tell them I can call Robin when I'm ready to go home. Owen helps his mom clean up so I go back with Fitz to the bedroom. He lies on the bed and I take off my shoes to lean next to him.
"What happened to your back?" Fitz asks lifting my shirt a little, "You have a nasty looking bruise."
"I fell into the table," I respond sitting on the bed.
"You fell into the table?" He questions in a dubious tone.
"Yes I fell into the table you can ask Reese," I reply sliding down a little.
"How did you fall into the table and hit your back?"
I bite my lip sliding down on the bed a little, "Reese's dad was yelling and angry and it reminded me of Glen."
"Clare tell me about Reese's house," Fitz demands.
"I've told you about Reese's house."
"Not much I mean really tell me about it. What's it like day to day, what are his parents like and Reese too," Fitz clarifies.
"It's fine, it's not like Mr. Simpson's house but they already knew her. Reese's family just isn't like Owen's or the way mine was. They aren't a very warm and togetherness sort of family but they aren't inhuman monsters like Glen and Jake either. Robin takes us to school just about every day and she's often tired when she gets home but she works hard. I have chores, normal ones like doing dishes and cleaning the washroom, they don't make clean the whole house by myself, they don't make me do my chores wearing next to nothing. They don't force me to give blow jobs or whip me or pour hot wax on me it's fine."
"What about Reese?"
"What about him? He's not a bad guy; his parents work a lot and have no time for him. He doesn't like school and he doesn't go to school because he doesn't see the point," I reply.
"Not what I asked, how does he treat you?"
"Good, he treats me well," I answer and then decide to change the subject. "Why did your mom get together with Ed? Why did she stay with him?"
"Because she was scared to be alone I think," Fitz answers. He starts telling me about the first time he met Ed and Steve and how they changed after his mom married Ed. Fitz keeps talking and I find myself getting tired, despite only having been awake for a few hours I'm quite exhausted and I fall asleep to Fitz talking.
(OWEN)
After helping mom clean up and telling her about Clare's party Saturday and the gift I got for Clare I go back to my room. When I open the door Fitz is on the bed with Clare and she's asleep.
"She fell asleep a few minutes ago, I'll sleep on the sofa tonight," Fitz whispers and I nod.
He carefully gets off the bed and goes out to the living room while I sit down at the desk to do homework. Clare's still asleep when I'm ready to go to bed, I leave the room to get ready for bed, Fitz is in the washroom and he tells me what they were talking about when she fell asleep. I let her have the bed and cover her with a blanket; I sleep on the floor but wake up when I hear Clare crying. I sit up and see her thrashing around in the dark so I sit on the bed and hold her, saying her name a few times until she wakes up with a gasp.
"It's okay you're safe I'm here," I tell her and she puts her head on my chest gripping onto me.
"I had a bad dream I'm okay, what time is it?" She asks.
"I'm not sure, I went to bed around midnight so later than that. What was your dream about?" I question.
"Glen," she says.
"Glen's in prison Clare he can't hurt you anymore, he'll never get near you again," I assure her.
"I know I was talking about him and he was on my mind I guess," she replies.
"When were you talking about him?"
"Reese's dad was yelling last night and it just reminded me a little of Glen. I was talking about it with Fitz, and Reese. I'm okay, I'm sorry I woke you I didn't mean to fall asleep here," she apologizes.
"It's okay Clare; you know you're safe here right?"
"Yeah, will you lie on the bed with me for a while?"
"Of course, you sure I won't make you nervous? I mean I don't want you to feel Glen or Jake," I comment but do so as I'm lying with her.
"I won't feel Glen or Jake, I never do. I know I'm safe with you," she says and I smile.
"Fitz said you guys were talking about your foster home earlier," I remark after a few minutes. I'm lying next to her and our bodies are touching but I don't have my arm around her or anything. I won't touch her at all unless she says it's okay.
"Yeah he wanted to hear about it so I told him, it's nothing like living with Glen and Jake," Clare responds.
"I believe you but how do they treat you? Do they treat you how you should be treated?" I question.
"Yes they treat me how I should be treated," Clare answers and we go silent again. "I wish my mom could be here Saturday for my birthday," Clare says in a sad voice. "I've been thinking about her more and more. Right after she died I thought about her all the time but then it just became about survival. I was even angry at her for a while, angry at her from not getting away from Glen the first time he hit her. I felt like she abandoned us in a way I guess, felt like she left us to take the abuse. Then it was just about survival, I needed to survive long enough to get Maya out of there and then it didn't matter what happened to me. But now that we're both out and okay I've been thinking about her, wishing she was here with us. I think about all the things she's going to miss from our lives. Not just my seventeenth birthday but my graduation and Maya's, Christmases, our weddings I wish she could be there, I miss her Owen," Clare cries turning over and putting her head against my chest.
"I know," I say putting my arm around her cautiously but she doesn't pull away so I tighten my arm around her. "She's here Clare, she's always with you. She loves you Clare and she's watching you always. She might not be around physically for all these things but she is here and I know she's really proud of you. Amazingly proud of you for surviving all you did, all you did to protect your sister and make sure she was as happy as she could possibly be in that hell you lived in. She's proud of you Clare and so am I. I'll be there Saturday, all your friends will be and I'll be there when you graduate."
"But you graduate a year before I do," she comments sniffling in some tears.
"Doesn't matter I'll be there when you graduate DeGrassi. Omar and Audra are coming to dinner tomorrow, they're coming to talk about Fitz and getting his mom away from his stepdad, but I'll ask him about your mom. I'll try and find out when they're going to be able to get her out of your backyard and giving her a proper funeral and burial," I tell her.
"Thanks Owen she deserves that, she wasn't a bad mom. I know I was angry at her but she loved us and she was scared, I didn't really understand until I was in it. She was in a hopeless situation and she was just trying to survive."
"Tell me about your mom," I prod after a few minutes of silence.
Clare starts talking about her mom, telling me stories of when she was little and I rub her back softly. She keeps talking, the more she talks the happier she sounds and she falls asleep in my arms. I fall asleep happy to be holding her and dream of always having her in my arms.
Next update won't be until Sunday February 22nd and that will likely start with Clare's birthday party.