Busted

Kyle unlocked the apartment door and was relieved that his father wasn't home yet. He flung his backpack on the kitchen counter and opened it up and pulled out the small detention slip. He, along with several of his classmates thought that they might not be missed if they took it upon themselves to have lunch off campus. But since the school didn't allow for students to leave for anything other than an excused absence, the vice principal was not amused when he caught the group coming back in. Detention slips were handed out to each student and had to be signed by a parent and returned within forty-eight hours.

Kyle sighed as he looked at the blank space that would hold his father's signature as soon as he got the courage to tell him of his indiscretion. Matt had been in a difficult mood since he and Gabby had parted ways. He hadn't said much about it, but Kyle knew their last discussion hadn't been a good one and not long after that Gabby had headed to Puerto Rico. It seemed as if their relationship and marriage seemed to be dissolving before his eyes. Her departure had seemed to leave a void that nothing had been able to fill. And since she was gone, Matt was taking his frustrations out on everyone around him as he so often did. Both Kyle and every member of the firehouse had been in his firing line. Kyle knew his father's heart was broken or perhaps still in the process of breaking and his lashing out helped him deal with what he couldn't control. But it made life somewhat difficult for those in his path.

And now Kyle had to tell him about his detention. As he sat at the table and looked at the slip he got an idea. He hopped up and went the desk where Matt kept the bills and other important papers and began to rifle through them until he found something with Matt's signature on it. He brought it over to the counter and grabbed his notebook and began to try and copy the signature. After several attempts he realized that he was a lousy forger. He threw the pen down on the counter just as his father stepped through the door.

"You home?" Matt called out.

Kyle was attempting to shove everything, into his book bag when Matt came into the kitchen. "Hey Dad," he said trying to act normal.

"Why didn't you answer me?"

"Sorry."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Just putting stuff back in my bag," Kyle smiled.

"What have you got there?" Matt asked as he stepped over and pulled out the papers that Kyle had been furiously trying to hide. "A detention slip and one of my contracting bids. Why do you have this?" He asked holding up the contract.

Kyle shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Matt questioned.

Kyle sighed and decided to admit defeat. "I was going to try and sign your name on the slip."

"Oh, you were?"

"It's just that you've been so mad all the time since Gabby left and I was kind of afraid you might freak out."

"So you thought you would lie?"

"I guess."

"No guessing about it son. That's exactly what you were doing. You screwed up and instead of owning up to it you decided to make it worse by trying to cover it up. But guess what?"

"What?"

"The school sends a text when you get detention. I already knew."

"Oh."

Matt ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not happy about this," he said as he tossed the papers down on the counter. "Making a mistake is one thing, but trying to cover it up with another one is even worse. Own up to it, accept your punishment and move on. Doing this is worse than the original mistake."

"Okay." Kyle said. "Sorry."

"Well, you're grounded for a week and you can help me with a job on Saturday instead of going Tyler's house."

"It was just a detention," Kyle argued.

"It was just a detention, but then it became a lie. And that's why it is a week and a Saturday job."

Kyle just stood and looked at his father seeming to contemplate his next move. He knew something needed to break in order to change Matt's emotional course and if it had to be him, then so be it. "I want my door back," Kyle stated, changing gears, speaking of his bedroom door that Matt had removed earlier that year when he had sneaked out in the middle of the night.

"I'm sure you do. And you'll get it back when I decide that you can be trusted. But this little action here," Matt said nodding towards the detention slip, "show's that you can't."

"It's been forever and I want it back."

"I know that you do, but you heard what I just said."

But Kyle wasn't ready to yield, he couldn't, not just yet. He crossed his arms and glared at his father and repeated his request yet again. "I want it back now."

Matt looked up at his son, his eyes confused with flecks of disbelief floating about. "I don't like your tone or your attitude. Kyle, this isn't a conversation. I've given you my answer, I'm sorry if you don't like it, but it's final."

"Of course it is. You never listen, you only bark orders!" Kyle yelled. "I'm sick of it. Everyone's sick of it!"

"Go to your room," Matt ordered pointing towards the bedrooms.

"NO! I want my door now! I want it back. Put it back!"

"I'm not telling you again. Drop it." Matt warned.

"NO!" Kyle continued to argue.

Matt couldn't believe Kyle was being so adamant and argumentative. He couldn't think of any other time when he had been so stubborn and defiant. Matt took a big breath and tried one last time. "Room. Now. I won't tolerate this disrespect."

But Kyle was all-in and refused to let his argument go. "NO! You are being such a—a," Kyle hesitated looking for the word he wanted. He tasted the word, rolled it around in his mouth before he let it loose. He knew he would be met with a fury he had never experienced, but the air was charged and he needed to clear it, for himself and for the guys at 51. So finally he let it go in all its glory. "You're being such an asshole," he spat.

The anger washed over Matt in a wave that finally crested and broke, leaving anger and frustration in its wake. And somewhere deep inside a switch flipped. It was if a seam had split open and all of his anger, fear, desperation and failings since Hallie's death came pouring out. He looked to his son whose face seemed to reflect the realization that they were about to tread in an unknown and uncomfortable territory.

Matt stared at Kyle and for a moment, they both seemed lost and unable to move. But as he adjusted his weight from one foot to the other in an effort to maintain some semblance of control, his hand brushed the remote control that he left absentmindedly on the edge of the counter the night before. His hand closed around it and he grabbed the boys arm and spun him around in one smooth and minimal effort before unleashing several bold and hard strokes, causing the air to crack with the noise of plastic being put to denim. But as suddenly as it started the battle ended. Matt dropped the remote and heard it clatter to the floor. He felt Kyle try and pull away from him but he held fast and pulled the boy towards him so that Kyle's back was against him and sat down on one of the chairs as Kyle began to struggle.

"Let me go!" Kyle choked out.

"No. I won't." Matt stated, trying to regain control of his emotions and remain strong. "I will not now, or ever, allow you to talk to me like that. Do you understand!?" Kyle shuddered as he tried to contain a sob. "Do you?"

"Was it my fault?" Kyle yelled out.

"For what? What just happened?"

"No," Kyle sniffed. "The reason Gabby left."

Matt loosened his grip on his son and drew in a big breath. "Listen to me. Your mother died, because she was a workaholic in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gabby left because she and I discovered that we had issues that we just couldn't find a way to compromise on and had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with you."

"Is she coming back?"

"I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't. But what I do know is that you have been off the rails for the last year and that ends now. Do you understand me? I'm in charge, not you. You have to follow the rules, you don't get to make them up as you go along."

"What was your dad like? What happened when you got into trouble?" Kyle asked, changing the subject as he tried to even out his breathing and push his tears away.

"Why are you asking about my dad?" Matt asked, puzzled by the question.

"You never talk about him—ever."

Matt released a big breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "He had his issues and a lot of my memories aren't good ones. If he said jump it was in your best interest to do so."

"Oh," Kyle replied.

"Yeah. Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too kiddo. But like I said, I will not allow you to speak to me like that. It is never to happen again. Am I clear?" He could feel Kyle's head nodding against his chest. "And if I hear language like that again I will employ the punishment that was used on me."

"By your dad?"

"No, my mother."

"What was it? Did she wash your mouth out with soap?"

"No. No nonfood products were ever used. She would put pepper on my tongue, usually red or cayenne. Sometimes it was hot sauce. Not fun, let me tell you that right now."

"I believe you. We're not supposed to eat Tide Pods, but kids used to be forced to eat soap."

"I think it was more like a taste than anything else. Now, I'm going to let you go and you are going to stand up and turn around and look at me. Understand?" Kyle once again nodded and Matt let him go.

Kyle did stand up and turned to face his father who still sitting on the chair . Matt softened his face as he looked at his son who was wiping away the remnants of tears. "Okay. Here's the plan. I'm going to sign your detention slip,while you go to your room and start your homework. Then in about an hour we'll start dinner. We will talk more then okay?"

"Okay," Kyle replied before he picked up his backpack and headed to his room. When he got there he shouted out, "I didn't even slam my door."

As he stood up Matt smiled as he shook his head back and forth. He wasn't sure how it had all happened, but it had and he hated that it had. He had lost control. Perhaps it needed to happen, maybe not. But Matt had to be sure that Kyle understood the consequences of his behavior, whether it be actions or verbal. He was afraid of losing his son to a world that seemed so eager to gobble him up, because his son had no fear of its teeth.

A few nights later he nursed a drink as he sat on a bar stool at Molly's relaying the entire saga to Kelly.

"He knew what he was doing." Kelly said.

"You think?" Matt asked.

"Hell yes. Dude, you've been nearly impossible to deal with the last couple of weeks. We all know why and have cut you some slack, but I must say that since Kyle pulled you down that cleansing path, you've been back to your old tolerable self."

"I know I don't always deal with things well and tend to bottle them up and direct my frustration at the wrong people."

"Yes you do." Kelly agreed. "Listen, when Kyle was little, when Hallie was still alive, I could tell when he was having some kind of crisis. It was like he was seeking validation—it would be at times when she was especially busy and dismissive. It was like he needed something palpable. And since he couldn't get it from her, he would push and pull until he got it from me."

"Why not from me?"

Kelly shrugged. "I don't know. I think maybe because he didn't want to disappoint you or that your time together was too precious. But I think he just did it to you a couple of days ago. Gabby left, he's feeling vulnerable and he just wants to make sure that you're still there for him no matter what. Her absence is going to affect him. He's going to miss her and there's going to be an adjustment period. Do you feel a little bit empowered though?"

Matt smiled, despite his efforts not to. "A little bit. I feel like I'm back in control. Even though I was the disciplinarian, I think Gabby somehow softened me when it came to Kyle. Pulled me back when I was ready to explode. I went with it, because I thought maybe it was for the better or perhaps it was because I didn't even it realize it. But looking back over the past year, I think the kid needs me to be a little bit unhinged.

"I mean I never wanted to be like my father. What happened—well it's not me, not how I envisioned myself as a father, not the parent I wanted to be."

"Maybe not but you were the father you needed to be at that moment. Besides you reacted and didn't overthink and that's exactly what he needed. Look, you know damn well what would have happened to either one of us if we had ever called our fathers that. He got off easy. He also gave you a new starting place. Yes, I think that he probably does need you to be a bit unhinged. He found some holes in the discipline and jumped right through them. He is just trying to see where he stands now that Gabby isn't around."

"She was good for him. Their relationship was beginning to cement. I thought we had our family. Have I totally screwed up my kid? I mean my relationship with Hallie was off and on and only seemed to be real at different times. I can't even really explain it, much less understand it myself so who knows how Kyle views it. And now this happens with Gabby."

"What has happened? Are you two done? Have you talked?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Yes. I don't know. We've texted, not much talking. How is Kyle ever going to grow up and have a normal relationship with a woman after my examples?"

"You didn't quite have a normal model to go by. Your parents weren't the pinnacle of normalcy. Besides your relationships have been much more normal than mine. I'm a terrible example.

"Look," Kelly continued, "you love him, he loves you. The rest can be figured out."

"I'll drink to that," Matt said raising his glass.

"As will I," Kelly replied following Matt's action.

"Hopefully things will calm down and be kind of normal." Matt said setting his drink down.

"They will be. It'll be boring and mundane." Kelly answered patting Matt on the back.

If Kelly had only knew how wrong he was, he and Matt would have just kept drinking.