XXXVII: The Keeper
"Intruder alert!!!" screeched the laughing voice from the top of the roof. Wemys and Davian looked up to see where there attacker was throwing boulders at them from. It wasn't hard to spot him.
It was impossible to tell whether he were a ferret, weasel, or stoat, as he was so completely covered in mud he looked like some sort of alien invader. The mud-thing was working with one of the strange wooden contraptions on the roof with one paw and cradling a bottle of wine with the other. He was wearing the remains of what had once been a nice jacket, now ripped, tattered, and extremely dirty.
"Harr harr harr!!" shouted the mud-thing, "Intruders will not be tolerated here at Castle Regner!! For I am Battletide, the greatest warrior to ever tide a battle!! Harr harr harr!!" He pulled a level on the wooden contraption and another boulder was catapulted out, this time flying nowhere near Davian and Wemys. The pair exchanged looks.
Battletide, apparently out of ammunition for his wooden trebuchet, threw his bottle down at the two of them. It came up completely short, hitting the ground and smashing into a thousand tiny pieces. Battletide merely laughed, however, as if it were nothing at all.
"I think this fellow is insane," Wemys whispered to Davian, "We should just keep moving."
"Don't even think about it, you mongrels!" shouted Battletide, laughing uproariously, "I am the keeper of Castle Regner, and thou shalt not pass! Rawr!!" He pulled the lever of his contraption again, but there weren't any boulders left, so nothing happened. "Just wait for me to go and retrieve ammunition!"
The mud-thing ran down a flight of stairs into the castle. "Davian, let's not stick around fer him to come back. I'm leavin'." Wemys began to hurry away from the castle and the strange keeper. Davian was about to follow the stoat, but suddenly, the gate began to open and somebeast he had known from a long time ago stepped out. It was Corzon, followed by Darkscale. Both were waving and yelling at him, and both were dressed in very nice-looking golden armor, with about a hundred weapons strapped to them. With nobeast else around, they had been allowed to raid the castle's armory.
"Davian!" Corzon shouted, "You izz back! Kalzmar zed you dead, yez!"
"You know those two?" Wemys exclaimed, "What's going on around here?" He suddenly gave a nervous glance backwards, as if Skrobb and his two lackeys would materialize right behind them.
"Corzon, Regner zed you dead!" Davian yelled back. He had thought Corzon was dead for a while now, and he didn't know what exactly to do now that he wasn't.
"What is going on?!" shrieked Battletide. The mud-thing was marching out of the castle, holding an armful of small stones. Clumps of mud flew off of him every step he took. As he got closer, Wemys noticed that his eyes were yellow and blood-shot. "Corporal Corzon, these intruders must be dealt with immediately!!"
"It izz okay, Mizter Ballantyne," Corzon replied, holding out a claw, "Thiz izz Davian. I know him, yez."
"I told you!" Battletide snapped, "I am not Ballantyne! That is another creature, who is not—DEATHBLAZE?!" The mud-thing had seemed to notice Wemys for perhaps the first time. The yellow eyes grew incredibly wide and the mouth fell ajar, revealing a set of teeth that seemed oddly clean. "I am terribly sorry for meeting you like this, Sir Deathblaze! I knew you would return soon enough! Terribly sorry! Um… Please, come inside! Sir Ballantyne should be out in a bit to see you!"
Battletide turned and ran back into the castle as fast as he could. Wemys was confused. What had the weird creature just called him? Well, at least he wasn't trying to shoot them with boulders any more…
"Um…" Darkscale muttered from the back, "Mizter Ballantyne izz weird. Very, very weird, yez."
"Very weird," Corzon agreed, "Now, come in, it izz very zhiny and interezting, yez, juzt like armor!" With one claw, he knocked on his golden breastplate, smiling.
The two lizards led Wemys and Davian inside. The interior of Castle Regner was even more trashed than the exterior. The main hall alone was a sea of trash, junk, and ruins. Smashed-up parts of chairs and desks lay haphazardly on the floors. A multitude of annihilated bottles of wine were mixed amongst them, making most of the floor impossible to walk on. There was one clean pathway in the center of the room, which was well-marked by Battletide's muddy paw prints. More ripped pieces of parchment fluttered about. Wemys looked at a few of them and gathered that they had once been a story. Other pieces of parchment had odd doodles and drawings on them, often depicting death and murder.
The walls were also stained with the same black paint, with the same two words written over and over: Castle Regner. A fancy portrait of Regner the Magnificent hung on one wall, and it seemed to be the only untouched thing in the entire room. It showed Regner standing proudly amongst a vast horde, his battle axe at the ready. Wemys looked at the painting and instantly his eyes were drawn to a stoat that was standing in the background. A stoat that had to have been his brother, Percival.
Battletide was not present. A fresh trail of muddy tracks led to a door on the left side of the hallway, but Corzon advised that they not go that way. Behind them, Darkscale shut and bolted the large front gate.
"Is there anybeast here besides you two an'… Battletide?" Wemys asked, still looking at the haunting painting where his brother lurked in the shadows.
"There were," Corzon explained, "Many, many. Levail and Zawdirge and Valla and Deathblaze. But all left, yez. They gone now, never gonna come back, they zay. Me and Darkzcale, we ztay here, yez, ztay here with Mizter Ballantyne."
"Where izz Kalzmar?" Davian asked.
"Dead," Corzon replied, completely emotionless, "Killed by longearz, yez."
Davian shrugged and said nothing more on the subject. Wemys was a little unnerved by the lizard's lack of caring for the dead, but said nothing.
Corzon led them to what had once been a mess hall. Almost every table had been smashed up, no doubt in order for Battletide to create his strange wooden contraptions on the roof of the castle. There was a tapestry in the center of the room, completely untouched, depicting Regner. Apparently, the weasel had once been pretty amazing stuff. Now, however, he was only in charge of twenty or so released slaves.
The four of them sat down at one of the few remaining benches. "So… Who's this Deathblaze fellow?" Wemys asked. He was pretty sure he already knew, however. For Battletide to get the two confused like that, there was only one creature in the world who could possibly be Deathblaze.
"He izz crazy stoat thing, lookz like you," Corzon explained, "Very mean and very angry, yez. He left, though. Then Levail and the rezt left, too."
Yes, that was a perfect description of Percival. Very mean and very angry.
---
Skrobb, Roth, and Glasseye had been tracking Davian and Wemys for a few days. Skrobb had just about had it with Roth and Glasseye's unceasing chatter, where they conversed on all sorts of topics, from Regner to Reiss to Schaeper's exploding head to the Long Patrol to whatever they felt needed to be talked about for a few hours. Skrobb occasionally shot in an annoyed comment, and often told them to shut up. But, of course, it never worked. The pair of lackeys gossiped more than two old haremaids.
Right now they were on the topic of names. "So, Glasseye," Roth began, "wot was yer name afore ya had that glass eye o' yers? I mean, ya couldn't have been born wit' that name, right?"
"Nah, I actually was," Glasseye replied, "Parents named me Glasseye, then when I was born, they gouged me eye out and put in this thing so the name would fit." He gave a small wink with his good eye to Roth.
"Cripes!" Roth exclaimed, "Yer parents musta been evil! The worst my mum an' dad did was make me eat my veggietables!"
"Yew idiot," Skrobb snapped, "He's jokin'. That ain't really wot happened." The rat rolled his eyes and muttered some thing to himself angrily.
"Yeah, he's right," said Glasseye, "I was really named Finkle, but I lost my eye ta some angry crow. Pecked it right out, he did. I didn't really wanna eyepatch, so I got this fancy glass eye, an' the rest is history."
"So," Roth started, "If I were ta get, say, a bunch o' scars on my face, everybeast would start callin' me Scarface?"
"I guess, but I think somebeast already has that name, though," Glasseye responded, shrugging a bit, "It jus' sounds kinda familiar. Musta been one of those creatures Telson talks 'bout in his stories, the ones that git their heads bitten off by snakes an' cut in half by giant scissors."
"'Ey, speakin' o' Telson," Roth continued, "Wot kinda name is that? Wot, is he the son of somebeast named Tel? That makes no sense."
"Ya know wot name really don't make any sense?" Glasseye asked, "Skrobb! I mean, that's a worse name than Finkle, I tell ya! Skrobb, how'd ya git stuck with such a lousy name?"
"Shut up," Skrobb snapped, "If yer gonna talk so much, at least leave me out o' the discussion."
"Wotever, then," replied Roth, "Well, I'm jus' glad I gotta normal name, like Roth. I jus' like the sound of it: Rooooooooooth."
Skrobb covered his ears with his paws and walked ahead of the pair, growling angrily at them. He was amazed that they hadn't blown their heads up, talking as much as they did. It was just an endless torrent of speech. They talked in the morning eating breakfast, they talked in the evening during dinner, they talked all the time in between, and they even talked in their sleep sometimes! It was driving Skrobb insane. All he wanted to do was go back to his home, away from all the annoying creatures of the world, and live his life in peaceful tranquility.
Skrobb stepped out of the forest they had been traversing and into a large field. There was no mistaking Wemys and Davian's tracks; it was as if they hadn't even made an attempt to cover them up (which they hadn't, actually). Skrobb looked down the field, watching where the tracks led, and then froze.
"Cripes, look at that castle!" Roth shouted from behind him.
---
The four of them- Wemys, Davian, Corzon, and Darkscale- all sat at the bench for about an hour. The lizards didn't talk a whole lot, especially considering they had been separated for over a season. Wemys occasionally asked a question, and Corzon would answer it, often times hardly understandable. Apparently, they were all waiting for Mister Ballantyne to show up. Wemys found that the name sounded very familiar. He had heard it before, but where…?
The door to the mess hall swung open, and the cleanest ferret Wemys had ever seen strolled in. He was the polar opposite of Battletide. There wasn't a single speck of dirt on him, and the drunken gait that the mud-thing had walked with was completely absent. The ferret was dressed in a dark blue coat that looked like it was made out of a very fine material. He used a cane, but as an element of his style, not as something to support himself with. He also wore a shiny, polished monocle, but behind the glass were two yellow, blood-shot eyes, which ruined the ferret's image.
"Hello, weary travelers," spoke the ferret, with a voice very similar to Battletide's, "My name is Ballantyne, the former head tactician for Lord Regner the Magnificent and now the master of his empty castle. Could I pleasure you with a drink? We have a very fine winery located in the basement, with some of the greatest drinks you will ever taste. Believe me… I know." Ballantyne eyed a shattered bottle by his footpaws.
"Where izz Battletide?" Davian asked quickly.
"Battletide had some business to attend to," Ballantyne replied, "It is unfortunate, but he will not be returning. Now, since none of you seem interested in a drink, would you please confide in me Sir Deathblaze's location? I require his audience."
"Deathblaze, or, if you call him by his real name, Percival, isn't here," Wemys announced, "The creature you thought was him is actually me, his brother. The name's Wemys."
Ballantyne froze, processing the information that had just been imparted to him. After getting over the initial 'Deathblaze is really named Percival?!' that was experienced by Regner when he first heard the news from Jeld back on the ship about a week prior, the ferret became depressed again. After Deathblaze, whom Ballantyne had always thought of as his friend, had left without any warning, the ferret had become a wreck. Regner was dead, Deathblaze was gone, and there was nothing left for poor little Ballantyne. The effects of his depression could be seen all throughout the castle, be it in the form of his torn-up story, his dark drawings, or his utter trashing of the entire fortress.
The former tactician suddenly slammed his cane down on a half-broken bottle of wine, shattering it into pieces. "That's… quite… a… shame…" he muttered. The ferret knew he was about to cry, and turned to leave the room.
"Regner told me he was dead, y'know," Wemys added. Ballantyne stopped in mid-turn and swiveled back to face the stoat.
"Regner said that?" the ferret exclaimed in a hushed whisper, "Lord Regner the Magnificent? He said that? I'm sorry, but Lord Regner is deceased. I was there myself when it happened. He was crushed by a gargantuan badger."
"No," Davian jutted in, "He izz alive, fighting the longearz at mountain plaze."
The monocle dropped out of Ballantyne's eye. So not all of his friends were gone! He could go back to Regner, be his tactician again, raise up another horde, and everything could be back to normal! Back to the way Ballantyne wanted it to be! Deathblaze would return, he would have to, and there wouldn't even be Golding to mess everything up like before! But, of course, there was no way they could be telling the truth. Lord Regner was dead.
But hope welled up inside Ballantyne all the same. He hadn't checked Regner's body, had he? No, he hadn't even seen it! He was in such a hurry to alert Deathblaze that he had just left Regner there! Ballantyne knew now that that had been a horrible mistake, but it really hadn't done any harm… had it? But… They had to be lying. It was just too good to be true.
"Lookit that!" shouted Darkscale suddenly. All eyes turned to see where the lizard was pointing, which was out one of the bashed in windows. Skrobb, Roth, and Glasseye were all bumbling towards the castle like some sort of circus crowd.
"Those are creatures sent by Regner to capture us," Wemys explained. Ballantyne looked at him skeptically. Why would Regner send creatures to capture Deathblaze's brother? Maybe he didn't know Wemys' familial connections?
"Then I'll just have to have a talk with these creatures, if what you say is true," the ferret replied, "Corzon, Darkscale, come with me. You two… stay here, until further notice. I don't suggest wandering off; you'll likely get lost."
---
Ah, great. More creatures straight from the loony bin.
Those were Skrobb's thoughts as Ballantyne and his two bodyguards walked out through the main gate. The rat had seen the writing on the walls of the castle, but since he, as well as his two lackeys, was illiterate, they made nothing out of it. "Be on yer guards," Skrobb snapped at his two companions, "These fellers look dangerous."
Roth and Glasseye exchanged glances, but drew their weapons nonetheless as the ferret approached them. Ballantyne stopped a good distance away from the trio, and then began to speak.
"Hello, travelers," he announced, "My name is Ballantyne. I have been informed that you three are here on orders of Lord Regner the Magnificent to capture two creatures, a stoat and a lizard much like the two behind me."
"Uhh… Yeah," Skrobb replied, "Regner's gonna be really mad if we don't bring 'em back alive. Do ya know where they are?"
Ballantyne suddenly became overjoyed. It was true! Regner really wasn't dead! This was a great day! All he had to do to was turn in Deathblaze's brother and a random lizard! "Of course I know where they are," he responded jubilantly, "Wait just one second!" He nearly skipped back into the castle.
"Is he always that weird?" Skrobb asked the two lizards that had been left behind. Both of them nodded.
---
Davian and Wemys had been watching from the window, although they could hear exactly what had been said. That was unfortunate, as Ballantyne walked into the mess soon after, brandishing what looked like a rather large crossbow.
"Please, I implore you," the ferret said soothingly, causing the two of them to spin around, "Don't move, and do as I say. It appears you were not fibbing about Lord Regner the Magnificent, and thusly, I am forced to turn you in to him. I will always be loyal to Lord Regner, as will Corzon and Darkscale. Please, do not try anything. Lord Regner wants you two alive, and it would be a shame to shoot you."
"You're going to betray us?" Wemys asked.
Ballantyne scoffed. "Betray you? I hardly even met you! The only reason I let you in to begin with was because I thought you were somebeast you obviously weren't! Now, come forward, slowly!" He motioned with the crossbow.
Wemys remembered how horrible of a shot Ballantyne had been when operating the odd contraption on the roof and suddenly got an idea. Without warning, he bolted to the left, where the nearest door was situated. Ballantyne let the arrow in his crossbow fly; it hit absolutely nothing.
The stoat ran, with Davian behind him. He didn't know this castle like Ballantyne most likely did, but he would have to try to escape. If they were brought back to Regner, it would only be a matter of time before they were killed leading a charge against the Long Patrol.
Wemys opened the door. He didn't realize that Ballantyne was already laughing, and he wouldn't have thought to stop if he had. But, as soon as the door opened, a giant painting fell through the doorway, knocking both Wemys and Davian to the ground.
Ballantyne yelled for the others outside to get in, then slowly walked towards the trapped pair, laughing. "I guess all the junk I piled up everywhere really did come in handy in the end… You two just got defeated by a portrait of your brother!"
Wemys pushed the painting off. He would have ran, but Ballantyne was very close now, and he had already reloaded his crossbow. The stoat looked down at the picture. Percival was there, standing proudly, although there was a scared look in his eye, as if he knew there was something out there to get him. Wemys didn't know it, but the something Percival was afraid of was himself.
Skrobb, Corzon, and the others all ran in, with Skrobb even chuckling. They had captured both of them, and alive, to boot! He didn't particularly care that Regner wouldn't be completely mad at him, but he was happy to know that he wouldn't have to be grouped with Roth and Glasseye any longer.
Corzon and Darkscale reluctantly heaved the two up. Ballantyne was right; they too were more loyal to Regner than they were to Davian, although they had some qualms about what they were doing.
Wemys closed his eyes as Skrobb tied his paws together. This was the end now.
Author's Note: As I said before, I love this chapter. It didn't have the dark, snide humor that "The Spy" did, but it does have probably the best instance of characterization in the entire fic and easily the most fitting allusion. If there's anybody out there, yes, Battletide and Ballantyne are the same character. Ballantyne just claimed the two were different because he didn't want Wemys and Davian (well, really just Wemys; it's quite obvious he doesn't care for the lizards) to have known that he had been so unkempt. One note you probably won't catch: Battletide is also the name of the ship Regner claimed he used to sail on when he infiltrated Conrad's squad posing as Abren. Coincidence:O
Now, the allusion. As I said before, Lord of the Flies is a parody of a story called Coral Island (the latter of which is written by a man named R.M. Ballantyne). One of the most common comparison scenes between the two is the scene with the boulders, one of which is in both stories. In Coral Island, the more civilized, optimistic story, the boulder becomes dislodged itself and falls towards the protagonists. In Lord of the Flies, a much darker, savage story, the boulders are being fired at the protagonists by a sadist named Roger, who uses a strange lever-contraption, much like "Battletide" did. Draw the conclusions yourself; I'm not going to go and reveal the significance of everything in my story.
There's only THREE more chapters after this. The next one is basically filler that sets everything up for the big climax, although there is nice characterization of Wemys (something you probably won't see a whole lot of earlier in the story). After that is the big climatic battle, and finally the Epilogue, which is short, sweet, and to the point.