Jack Hammer, the forepony of Ponyville's local construction company, finished checking over the list of materials and sighed. Maybe this time we'll actually get this stupid high rise built, he thought. For some reason every time they started construction on it something would happen and destroy whatever they'd managed to get built, be it a malfunctioning crane or a swarm of fun-crazed Pinkie Pies. But maybe this was the time everything'd go right.
"Hey there!"
Jack Hammer jumped and spun around, startled by the loud exclamation from behind him. The local human was giving him a look of polite curiosity while seemingly buzzing with barely contained energy.
"What are you doing?" Chris asked. "Oh, are you building a house? Oh, can I help? I love helping. I'm gonna help!" There was a blur of motion and the build site was consumed by a luminescent blue tornado. The piles of materials picked themselves off the ground and disappeared into the tornado. Then it vanished as Chris zipped out of it, skidded to a halt in front of Jack, spread his arms wide and went, "Ta-dah!"
Jack Hammer stared in shock at the newly erected building behind the human. It looked like a four story house. Or rather, it looked like four storeys from four different houses piled on top of one another. The bottom floor looked like any other Ponyville house, but the second looked like it would be more at home in Canterlot. The third floor looked like something out of steampunk science fiction, with walls of dark wood and brass, and metal pipes snaking through them. Topping it all off was a great dome, made of glass or crystal, with arcs of silver metal criss-crossing it.
"What do you think?" Chris asked. "I couldn't decide style to make it, so I made it all of them! Do you like it?" Jack's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but no sound came out. "You do love it," Chris cried. "Look you're speechless and everything! Mission accomplished!" The human punched the air, then floated up into the sky before vanishing in a flash of light. For a long moment everypony stared up at where Chris had disappeared. Then one of the workers trotted up to Jack.
"Boss," he said. "Do you have any idea what the hay just happened?"
Jack Hamer sighed and shook his head, feeling a headache coming on. "None at all."
"This is hopeless," Twilight said. "We haven't seen Chris in nearly an hour. And I still haven't figured out how to catch him when we do find him."
"Oh don't be such a grumpy-slumpy-pants Twilight," said Pinkie, still irrationally happy about everything. "I just know you'll think of something. Right Dash?"
"If you say so Pinkie," said Rainbow from above them. "Besides, if we're lucky Chris will end up on a sugar crash by the time we find him."
"Well I'm sure you'll think of something Twilight," said Chris from behind them.
"Yeah," Twilight sighed, before realising who had just spoken. In a blur of purple she whirled around, horn aglow. The magic fizzled out when she saw that Chris was standing there, quite serenely, eating cupcakes out of a paper bag.
"Hi guys," he said while Twilight sputtered. "I got some cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner. You guys want some? I don't know why but they taste sort of lack-lustre to me now. Maybe it's because of those super-ultra-amazing tasting cupcakes that I had earlier." Chris's smile turned dreamy as he stared into the middle distance. "Mmm… they were so tasty. So delectable. The best cupcakes in the world." He snapped back to reality, looked down at the bag and grinned. "Here, you guys can have these," he said, tossing the bag to Pinkie. "I'm going to go have the rest of those other cupcakes. Toodles!" And in a flash of light he was gone. Rainbow looked at Twilight. Twilight's brain was busy rebooting. Pinkie was busy devouring the cupcakes in the paper bag.
"Wait, WHAT!" Twilight shrieked. "Quickly, we have to get to the library."
"Alright," said Rainbow. "Let's move." As she went to fly off Twilight's magic surrounded her, pulling her to the ground.
"No time," said Twilight, pulling Pinkie over as well. "Hold on!"
Then in a flash of purple light they were gone too.
Teleporting was one of the weirdest sensations Rainbow Dash had ever experienced. It felt like she was moving over an impossible distance at an impossible speed, all the while remaining completely still. Then she slammed to a halt, stumbling as they reappeared in the middle of Twilight's library, and fought against the wave of combined dizziness and nausea.
"Twilight!" Spike yelled from over by the kitchen door. "Chris is in the kitchen. I tried to stop him but he stuck my feet to the floor." To prove his point he tugged at his legs, his feet refusing to leave contact with the floor. Everypony rushed past him, the door to the kitchen bursting open-
Just as Chris guzzled down the last cupcake.
"So yummy," he mumbled. Twilight's horn flashed and a beam of energy lanced out, spreading out into a bubble that surrounded Chris and lifted him up off the floor. "Hey no fair Twilight," the human cried, his voice sounding muffled.
"What the hay were you thinking Chris?!" Twilight shouted. "It's bad enough that you ate two of them, let alone the whole batch!"
"But they're so tasty," Chris whined. Twilight sighed in frustration, ploughing a hoof into her face.
"I'm going to put you downstairs," said Twilight, making an obvious effort to stay calm. "Then I'm going to write to Celestia and see if she has any advice. That is what is going to happen." With that the furious unicorn turned and stomped out of the kitchen, towing the floating bubble behind her.
"Right," Twilight sighed as the door to the basement swung shut. "I've locked Chris in the TV room. I've put an anti-teleport field around the room and an anti-spell field on the door so he shouldn't be able to get out. Now, Spike, take a letter."
"Would you mind unsticking me first?" Spike asked.
"Oh, yes, sorry." Twilight's horn glowed for a moment. "There you go Spike."
"Thanks Twilight." Spike quickly grabbed a scroll and a quill off a shelf and stood ready to take Twilight's letter.
"Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight began. "There's been something of a mishap in Ponyville, and-" Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash from downstairs. Her eye twitched and a couple of hairs in her mane pinged out of place. Nopony dared say anything for fear of setting her off.
"Pinkie," Twilight said sweetly. "Would you mind going and seeing what that was?"
Pinkie nodded, perhaps a tad nervous, and walked downstairs. Twilight stood perfectly still, awaiting Pinkie's report. She didn't have to wait long.
"Chris is gone," the party pony called. "And there's a big hole in the wall."
Twilight nodded slowly, processing that information. Rainbow Dash slowly backed away from the purple alicorn, just in case. Twilight took a deep breath, put a hoof to her chest, then breathed out and pushed it away, imagining her frustration going with it. She was always surprised by how well that trick worked.
"Alright then," Twilight said. "Let's go see what happened."
What had happened was that Twilight's spell on the door must have held. However, there being no spells on the walls, Chris had simply cut a perfect square next to the door and walked out.
"I have to admit," Twilight said, "I didn't see that coming."
"Hey Twilight," Rainbow said from over by Twilight's work table. "I think Chris left a note over here."
Twilight trotted over, levitating the note. Hey Twilight, it read. I'm sorry about the wall, but for some reason the door wouldn't open and I couldn't teleport out. You should probably get that checked out. Also I was thirsty so I drank one of your potions. I hope you don't mind. It was a pretty tasty potion though. It tasted like snozzberrries. Oh I just got a great idea for a prank. I'll catch up with you later. Love, Chris.
Sudden terror clutched at Twilight's chest as she caught sight of the empty vial sitting on the table. Or more specifically, when she caught sight of the potion's label.
Talent Enhancer Mk. 1
Rainbow too saw the label and paled noticeably. She swallowed, her throat feeling very dry all of a sudden, and said, "Twilight. This isn't… that talent enhancer, is it?"
"I'm afraid it is Rainbow," Twilight said. "This is really, really bad now. We need to let Celestia now ASAP, before Chris ends up doing something that he can't fix."
Princess Celestia, Co-ruler of Equestria, strode into the throne room for her day court, her enigmatic smile in place as she prepared to deal with the troubles, needs and petty griped of her little ponies. Already a small queue had formed before the throne, and even as she watched a couple more ponies came through the door. Celestia quickly bit back a sigh. It looked like it was going to be a long day. Everypony in the room was treated to a beaming smile as Celestia walked over to the throne and elegantly sat down.
PRRRRRRRP!
A pin drop could have been heard in the silence that followed. Many of the nobles waiting in line were in shock, and the less prudish ponies had their hooves clamped over their mouths, trying valiantly to contain their laughter. Celestia herself was sitting perfectly still on the throne, wondering what the horse apples had just happened. Had she really just let one rip during day court? It was at least six hundred years since that had last happened (and she hadn't had a burrito since). Hang on, did the throne get extra padding at some point? Everything clicked into place and Celestia sighed, her horn glowing as she pulled the large whoopee cushion out from under her. She was going to have words with Discord later on.
"PFFT-HAHAHAHA!"
Speaking of whom. Celestia looked up and was surprised to see, not Discord, but Chris floating near the ceiling, doubled over with laughter.
"Your – your face," he gasped, clutching his sides. Celestia blinked, not sure how to deal with this development. "Oh hey," Chris said, fighting back his laughter for a moment. "I didn't know there was solar wind forecast for today!" He roared with laughter at his own joke, pulling backflip with tears streaming down his face. For many ponies in the room this was the last straw and they collapsed in gales of laughter.
"Oh, you know what?" Chris asked, now hanging upside down. "That just gave me an idea for another prank. We should catch up later. Cheerio!"
And then he was gone. "What?" Celestia said, very intelligently. She was broken from her stun-lock by a wisp of green smoke floating in through the window and coalescing into a scroll. Out of instinct she took it in her magic and unravelled it, recognising Spike's writing.
Dear Princess Celestia, the letter read. We have a situation here in Ponyville. Through some accidental mix-up Chris managed to eat a large amount of super sugar. Celestia nodded to herself. From what she knew of super sugar Chris's behaviour was very much in line with what could be expected. To make matters worse he also drank my mark one talent enhancer potion, the one I wrote to you about a while ago. Naturally this presents a large problem as it will probably magnify Chris's already powerful magic. Celestia's eye twitched ever so slightly upon reading that. Once her heart had started beating again she read on. I was hoping that you would have some advice or be able to offer some help on getting him under control. Also if you do see Chris please do your best to contain him and send for me immediately. Always your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.
Celestia sighed and got up from the throne. "I apologise everypony," she said to the room at large. "It appears that there is a crisis which must be dealt with immediately. Captain I'll need every guard to-"
"TIA!" Luna yelled as she charged through the doors, looking both furious and terrified.
"Is everything alright Luna?" Celestia asked.
"No, dear sister, it is not. Some villainous cur hath turned the moon into cheese!"
"… I'm sorry?"
"The moon! The whole thing! Into cheese! Admittedly it is very good cheese but that is beside the point! We must find the one who is responsible and-" Luna's rant was cut off when Celestia thrust Twilight's letter at her. The Night Princess arched an eyebrow and unfurled the scroll, her eyes widening as she read. "Oh," she said, rolling the scroll back up. "That's… mildly terrifying actually."
Celestia nodded. "We should hurry to Ponyville. We'll be able to coordinate a proper strategy with Twilight better if we aren't relying on letters."
"Indeed sister. I shall make ready the chariots. We shall depart as soon as they are ready."
Yes, the talent enhancer is a direct reference to the Double Rainboom fanmade episode.
Also, moon cheese. Better than normal cheese because it comes from space.
Thank you to all you lot out there who continue to read my story. It really means a lot to me.