Eyes that see into Infinity
Chapter Thirty six
Part Three
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'Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I'm batshit crazy, having you on my mind? Do you think I'm helpless? My algebra gon' equal you every time. Do you think I'm calling? Do you think I'm calling out your name every night..?'
The radio was on. But it was quiet. As was everything else.
He was driving home from the airport, silently dwelling on how he left his own mother behind with her thoughts that could destroy any parent. He didn't want her to leave on those terms, not with his birthday coming up. All she ever did was love and celebrate him and he ruined it by pushing her aside with assembled hatred he always had for her. The visions are what he had to blame for most of the way he felt and was having a difficult time separating the ancient queen from the one who still wrecked any of his psychological motivation. His mother was a fanatical cruel queen and gypsy who burned in him an explosive ambition, a light involvement of Oedipus Complex and absolute hate for himself. Because who was he if not what his mother fostered in him or what his father told him he wouldn't be? Between both psychotic parents, they were the reason for his fits of rage, drunken binges and any damage done to himself. His emotions were always spiraling out of control and they produced suddenly and without warning. It sucked.
Traffic was surprisingly slight. Everything was smooth and pleasant excluding the ugly feelings going on inside of his head but all he had to do was look up at the pale moon as it hung low above the calm highway he drove down. And it was beautiful and he couldn't remain quiet or in thought much longer and called the one person he was reminded to call. The one person who could snap him back to certainty.
It always amazed him how quickly he answered his phone. "Alex?" His favorite human said and he couldn't help but feel electrified by the sound of his voice. He sounded sleepy like he had been resting just before.
"Hey, Phai. Did I wake you?"
"Not at all. I was wondering when I'd hear from you."
"What are you doing?" Alex was feeling tense as his glare lingered ahead at the indigo skyline.
"Reading the book you gave me. What's wrong?" Phai always knew. He leaned forward from his comfortable position on the couch.
"Had a long day. What about you? How was yours?" The blonde shifted more upright. He was getting fidgety wanting to steer any interest away from him.
"It was also very long. I'm home with Callista now. My dad bought me a car today. It's a Nissan and it's blue. It looks like me." He sounded happy about it and Alex couldn't help but feed him more excitement.
"Your birthday isn't up for another four months?"
"He was just getting sick of me asking to borrow his car all the time and I was getting sick of him saying no. We made a deal. Now I can drive you around."
"Already tired of my high maintenance truck?"
"I love your truck, not overly fond of your driving though."
Alex chuckled. "Okay, from now on, you can drive me around. I'd love that.
"By the way my dad went over to your house to hang out with your dad. Cute, right?"
That made Alex smile tremendously. "He's making friends, huh? Good for the both of them. About time."
"He's been over there for awhile, which means they're definitely drinking and probably talking about us. I'd say a little over three hours."
"I'm going to let that be a good sign. I remember when you didn't like me at first. Then things worked out."
"Can you blame me? There was this boy I never spoke to before, not once, with bold colored eyes, a blank lifeless look, who stared a lot. It scared me. Now I know why."
Alex was quiet again but not about anything Phai had said. The blue eyed man knew something more was wrong so he stepped outside and leaned over the barricade of the outdoor deck encased by the vast darkness of the meadow. "Alex, what's wrong? Conversation normally comes easy for you."
"I'm distracted and I don't know how to not be in my head."
"When you think too hard, it triggers your infinite sight. I can help with that but you have to keep talking to me. Deal?"
"Deal." He needed it, to hear Phai talk, in order to accept his own mental well being. Phai never held back. He'd tell anyone exactly what they needed to hear. He took their sanity seriously. In Alex's case, insanity.
"Is it about your mom? How did that go, your outing with her?"
"Everything was fine at dinner then she just had to open her fucking mouth." Alex answered ever so aggressively.
"Alex, relax." Phai commanded soothingly.
The blonde took a breath. "I'm calm."
"Good. What did she say?" Phai knew if Alex wasn't strapped down in a seat, he'd be pacing all over the place. All the women in his life had that affect on him. No one triggered his emotions more. It amazed him that his thoughts haven't driven him off the road yet.
"Well she said some things and I said worse things back." He sounded angry at himself. He was but he wasn't. But he was.
"You two always had a way of distributing words that seem damaging but they're not."
"I spoke my mind and told her everything I ever felt about her. There are just some things you don't say to me and she said them. She did it purposely, Phai, because she knew I'd feel this way after. Why am I mad at myself for something she needed and deserved to hear? I shouldn't feel bad for her. Why do I?"
"You do because she is your mother. It's complicated between you two."
"But it shouldn't be."
"But it is. You can't allow the things you can't control, control you. Alex, she truly loves you. It may seem a little obsessive but I have no doubt how much she does."
"How could she love me when she loves seeing me cry over her and submit to her?"
"It's not right but it's a validation that you still care. She's sad and hurt that you no longer need her love and affection."
"My mom has always coddled me and cradled me in a sack of fucking hate for myself and refuses to own up to any attachment issues."
"Alex, she taught you her heart and your father taught you his. Despite their flaws and what they went through, you can't be corrupted by the person who birthed you. It's okay if she shares her love and you need to be open to that warmth but you can also love her in ways that shake her unhappiness. Be her son and love her. Nothing more, nothing less."
Alex went silent again.
"Alex, say something." Not hearing anything from him was always Phai's greatest fear.
The blonde came back from his head. "You sound just like him, you know. Hephaistion. It amazes me still."
"I am him." Phai simply said.
The blonde exhaled sensitively. "Which means my mom is her. When I was younger, she might have been sleep walking, but she came to my room and stared at me with her sorceress eyes, like she was casting a spell on me or some other evil shit. She told me that my soul belonged to her. I thought it was a dream but then I remembered I don't dream because I don't sleep but I confronted her about it and she didn't remember anything about it. She told me it was all in my head."
"Your soul belongs to only you."
"Really?" Alex gleamed. "Because I thought it belonged to you."
Phai grinned cutely. "All that responsibility?"
Alex smiled also. "All of it."
"Are you afraid of her?"
"A woman who dances with the devil everyday? Enormously. I'm afraid for my abusive father but afraid of my loving mother. It doesn't make sense. She wants me to believe so bad that my dad is the bad one. Apparently he tried to leave me for dead when I was born because he didn't want me. According to my mom, he would leave me outside for the rodents to eat away at and if they weren't going to kill me, the neglect would soon enough."
"For awhile there, they were coming up with some pretty crazy stories trying to turn you against the other. Like when she said, he left you in the car when you were a newborn? Alex, he can't be that fucked up."
Alex snickered. "That was true. He left me in the blistering sun and that's why my hair is blonde. I was born a brunette."
Phai scoffed. "I don't believe it."
"It's true. The sun dyed my hair permanently. It starts dark at the roots but that's all the brunette I'm allowed to have."
"You should probably start looking for new parents because that's horrifying." He laughed.
"Laugh it up. My mom was pissed but also grateful because apparently she predicted before I was born that I would be a blonde head baby. It's what she wanted and it's what she got. I was created in someone else's image. How's that for fate?"
"Maybe you should go out there and stay with her for a little while. Just show up one day and surprise her. It will make her happy."
"I can't. Somehow she'd trick me into staying. I want to avoid that trap."
"You shouldn't avoid her. Not forever."
"I have to. You know how persuasive she is."
"But you're Alexander. You can be persuasive too."
Alex frowned. "People rarely call me that but you never call me that. I like it coming from you."
"Well then, are you coming back home tonight, Alexander?"
Alex felt the want in his tone. "Eventually." He steered toward an exit, going down a road he's never been down before. "I have something to do. Then I'll be home."
Phai sighed. "I've known you long enough to know that means 'no'." This was part of the responsibility of loving a man who had everything but nothing. He needed saving. Badly.
"Did you have plans for me?" Alex asked seductively hoping to make the situation lighter.
"My dad bought you a box of condoms for an early birthday present." Phai answered. "Yea, I definitely had plans for us."
Alex temporarily was unable to react. "You're being serious?"
Phai laughed at the embarrassed blonde. "Dead serious."
"I don't know how those things work."
Phai smiled at the dorky reply. "And I don't know how they feel."
"When would be an appropriate time to send the 'thank you' card?" The blonde joked.
"Probably after you use it."
"I am in love with your genius mind. It's a date then. Want to do it in your new car? With the new car smell?"
Phai smiled widely. "Try to be a little less ambitious."
"My truck?"
"How about you come home and we can see what comes naturally?"
"Give me an hour?" Alex asked sweetly.
Phai sighed suddenly in a more serious mood. "Alex, remember what I said about you being in your head. You can't wonder and you can't wander. You need to stay focused and you need to breathe everything out. If you have to pull over, do it. But if you don't look ahead, the sky will break and the streets will part and then everything becomes dangerous again."
Alex grew quiet once again. The sky was already broken and the streets were already parted. He also wandered with no idea where he was and didn't care to know. "I'll be alright. I'll call you back when I'm heading to you." It wasn't meant to be a lie but deep down, Phai knew. Alex wasn't going to be alright.
"Alex?"
"Yea?"
"Call me right back."
"I will. I promise."
Phai ended the call and set the phone down and stayed outside in the complete darkness, suddenly reserved. He wasn't coming home. Not tonight. It used to be much simpler when he didn't have him in his life. It used to be he'd have very little worries. Now he had to be scared for a man he didn't even completely have.
Alex pulled over to the side of an empty road and turned off the engine. as his heart began to hammer within his chest and the headache began to split down the center of his skull. It hit him. The rage of another vision which he felt already coming on, thus ending the call with Phai as fast as he did. Phai couldn't know.
He looked down at his lap where he just looked at the needle he was thinking of injecting in himself. He's never done it before so it was a battle whether he needed to do it to feel better and to take the pain away. Most importantly, to combat the projected images of horrible flashbacks. Of course he did his research and learned in the end, it was never worth it. All he had to do was look at how his dad turned out. He found the unused needle of impure heroin a couple of days ago in his dad's bathroom drawer buried under a giant Ziploc bag of all of his other medication. Phillip swore he gave up the abuse of drugs ten years ago and switched to smoking instead. Alex had been looking for something else and ended up spotting it, labeled and everything. The worse part about it, he took it so that his dad wouldn't be able to use it but here he was sitting in his truck, in the middle of the night, on a dark road, mentally preparing himself.
He didn't think he could do it but powered through everything holding him back and stuck the needle carefully in the largest vein at his forearm and injected the drug. His eyes were forced closed from the instant high and he relaxed back letting it flood his senses and flush his bloodstream. It skipped the pleasure and the 'feeling good' part and everything around tuned out and he inhaled a pained and weakened breath. Then drowsiness hit and he forgot his promise to call Phai back as he chilled back in the common twilight.
Macedonian Headquarters, India
Two elite guards remained with Leonnatus and Perdicas who awaited the two generals they assumed were dead at the main pathway right before the sleeping camp. Leonnatus stood with hints of impatient shifts while Perdicas sat lazily against the gate throwing rocks.
"They're over due. Cassander will move the army if they don't arrive by tomorrow morning. He's already gathered the men and accounted for all who will make it back. Roughly, thirty thousand. Cassander is right. We need to leave this place. Our losses grow more due to disease and only a few competent physicians left."
Leonnatus remained quiet and eager ignoring his friend.
"Are you hearing me?" Perdicas asked, throwing a small pebble at him to gain his attention. "Or do you choose to ignore me now?"
"I hear you Perdicas. " He began to pace nervously. "Cassander can do what he likes with the army. I'll stay here and die from disease."
"Then you're foolish, just like the king for bringing us here in the first place."
Leonnatus turned to him, offensively. "Don't say that."
"Say what?" Perdicas frowned at the outburst.
"Without Alexander's leadership, this empire would have fallen greatly to something worse. The men can't even function now without his direction. And the respect we pay him and our friends, who are out there now, trying to bring him back, is what? If you feel what all the other men feel about him, you can take your leave with them."
"I don't have any hate for Alexander. If that's what you're thinking?"
"Then why is everything out of your fucking mouth off putting?"
"I've always been loyal to him but even I can see that this is all madness."
"You fake loyalty because you would shit yourself if he did to you what he did to Philotas, Parmenion and Cleitus. They also claimed to be loyal but were only loyal to Phillip in the end. He only ever wanted to conquer. Not to bring himself or others to their knees. They pushed him to madness."
"This was bigger than him. Bigger than he had ever dreamed. But he brought this terror on us. And he did it to spite us. I understand your loyalty to him, I do. But we have to be levelheaded. We had everything. Why drag us to fight for more if not to punish us? You saw all the men he executed who refused to fight this last battle. You don't think he'd execute us, his loyal command staff for any disagreement with any decision he finalized? There were so many victories we could have won in easier attempts."
"Those men had it coming. They knew not to spat shit and throw dead crows at an outraged king. And what victories do you speak of? I remember when you all spoke of stealing victories in which he flatly refused."
"We could have reduced bloodshed."
"You already forgot the balance of the scales? I'd rather have an Alexander, than a Darius."
Perdicas was about to say something in regards to that but the two soldiers guarding the gateway lifted their steel and shields when they heard clatter approaching from the dark path.
Ptolemy appeared with a hand held high to let them know it was only him. He unwrapped the throw across his face and directed the horses he pulled behind him to come around. "He's out. Take him to my quarters." The drained general said to Leonnatus and Perdicas who were greatly relieved at his return back.
"You're only two days late." Perdicas hissed quietly as he quickly unfastened the sleeping general from the horse he rode in on. "It wasn't easy keeping quiet about your whereabouts. Cassander and the queen are growing intolerant with our answers."
"We were sidetracked. Careful with him."
Leonnatus guided his friend with aiding Hephaistion down. Perdicas lifted the general over his shoulder but before carrying him off, both of them stopped when they looked at the foiled up body on the second horse.
Ptolemy bowed his head lightly not addressing them directly while untying who they knew was the dead king but Ptolemy seemed out of it and they couldn't imagine he wanted to speak about it right now. They said nothing but Leonnatus stared with water in his eyes.
Ptolemy looked to him and they all had a default look of sorrow. "Leonnatus, go with Perdicas. It's for your own good."
"How did it happen?" Leonnatus rushed up to the body but Ptolemy gently drove him back, understanding his sorrow. "I'm telling you, you don't wish to see. We'll speak of it soon. Now go."
Perdicas pulled Leonnatus along with him and hastily carried Hephaistion to Ptolemy's tent.
The two aiding soldiers helped Ptolemy bring the king to the royal tent which remained guarded by two shield bearers despite the king's absence but it was still grand enough for any intruder to be fond of. Knowing Ptolemy and his clearance, the hoplite guards allowed him in but not after telling them not to speak a word of it. They brought the king through the vestibule and into his resting chamber. Ptolemy laid him down on the grand bed and commanded one to fetch the doctor on duty, which was Philip, Alexander's personal physician.
They quickly left and Ptolemy started digging around the king's dwellings looking for clothes to dress Alexander's body.
Philip after being sent for, arrived as quickly as possible and the curled haired general turned to him.
"King Alexander? You found him." The old man was stunned at the sight.
"He's found but that's the only good news of it."
"Dead?"
Ptolemy nodded barely. It took the physician long to respond, gloom overshadowing his heart. "And what of Hephaistion?"
"He's safe. He's resting. That's why I called you. I need you to look after him. You're the only one I want to tend to him. Understood?"
The physician nodded at the task.
Then Leonnatus and Perdicas came barging in appalled at the lifeless body as if it was some kind of trick of the sight. Perdicas was the first to look away and Leonnatus couldn't dare too.
"Help me dress him." Ptolemy quietly ordered. "It's a time to be strong. Loyal or not, Alexander would have treated our bodies with value."
The two saddened generals nodded and they began prepping a nice rich garb, but the doctor stopped them before they could dress the king. "Don't touch him. Not yet." Philip began scanning the king. "How long?"
"We're not sure. Days. Weeks. But your talent won't work here, Philip. There's nothing you can do for a dead man." Ptolemy answered hopelessly.
"Where was he found?" He encouraged on.
"At the bottom of a cascade, deep under, chained down by a boulder that weighed more than any man. It was a death sentence."
Philip took the kings limp hand and checked and felt for a pulse. "It's interesting."
"Speak?" Ptolemy now had hopeful eyes.
"No heartbeat. No pulse. No vibrancy of breath. Come close though. He's warm." The three generals curiously moved in. "This body should have decayed or shown sign of active decay." Phillip said rolling away the linen that covered the upper half of his body.
"What are you saying?" Leonnatus fervently asked rushing the doctor to answer.
"Didn't Aristotle teach you boys anything about the mortal body?"
"He taught us many things but what you're suggesting isn't possible." Perdicas stepped in. "He can't be alive."
"He's also not dead. Somewhere in between it seems. A purgatory of sorts. " The old man chuckled. "Remains stubborn even in the afterlife."
"Enlighten us." Ptolemy folded his arms strictly.
"Alexander always thought himself a god and no ordinary man. There is no decomposing because he still breaths."
"His heart has stopped, like you said."
"Paralysis." The old man put simply. "It seems that way but it is not. His mental faculties are active and oxygen he still receives. It isn't quite visible but his remains are being preserved."
Perdicas scoffed at the speculation. "Impossible. Maybe your old age is catching up to you."
"Mock all you want. Don't you believe in the gods? Quite frankly, this man here set the example of all impossible things. They're keeping him alive. His hair is still fine, there is no bleeding from the mouth or any other orifice giving off any toxic waste. You say he was under water for days but his skin is unpolluted. Alexander lives." Philip chuckled happily.
The others were still unconvinced however Ptolemy seemed believing but frustrated. "We need to be sure, you know this. To prove to the officers, especially Cassander and Craterus that the king lives looking the way he does won't smooth over kindly with them. That doesn't look like a king fit for a throne or who can rule anytime soon."
"Cassander has been very vocal about putting a time to his death, burn his corpse and move on with the army who have fought and paced and waited around for almost nineteen months. This started back when Alexander was comatose before he was taken by the enemy threat." Perdicas reminded.
"Do we not know what Alexander's plans were after he conquered this land? What was his next journey?" Philip acquired.
"He left that in the dark. He didn't want to scare the men off just yet with his mad aspirations. Why does that matter?" Perdicas asked snootily.
"It doesn't. But it does for those who won't stand to see Cassander rise to the throne in case Alexander doesn't waken."
"Alexander did make mention of Arabia back in Babylon." Leonnatus mentioned. "But he had been drinking really bad that night."
"Must have been rumored. He despised the desert campaigns even more so than us. Are there riches there? Green pastures? No. We barely lived for this battle. Ports for trade are already secured by Nearchus. This was going to be his last stop for a long time. But now, we go home." Ptolemy said and no one argued.
"Where's home? Babylon? Macedonia? Be careful what you answer. An unconscious body is still aware. May I suggest you allow the one who knows him best to decide what to do next?"
"His mother?" Perdicas frowned. "He hasn't heard from her in years and most likely has been long executed."
"You idiot, Hephaistion." Ptolemy hissed.
Perdicas scoffed heavily. "You really think he is in any way shape or form ready for such a large decision? We saw how he was back in the jungle, chasing hallucinations and irrepressibly putting himself through danger just to find Alexander."
"Indeed. And Alexander was found. Good luck to whatever you decide." Philip then left the men to ponder among themselves and went to go pay a visit to Hephaistion.
I am centered in the heart of those who have me held down by thick chains in which they grip close…and as tight as they can. These shackles are at my wrists and my ankles, connected, encircling my waist and my throat. Thorns are deep and ripping away at my skin. They're large as a lion's fang. I'm like this, in this powerless state, because I'm being handled and I must obey.
I am everything they want. I am there weapon. Everything they wish they could have. And they won't release me, no matter how much I keep my back turned. I'm always tangled, struggling away as they control me from moving toward my target. I am there puppet. And my body begins to give out under the black part of their souls.
You've met Barsine. She holds the line at my left wrist and my left ankle. You haven't met Bagoas. But he holds my other wrist, linked to my right ankle. Roxanne has me by the neck and my mother has me at the waist. I am their God.
Then an angel comes from the light that wasn't previously there and their dark shadows disappear under his. I have no heart. It's gone. But the hole in the middle compartment of my empty chest doesn't ache. I know it's missing but I sense it is somewhere safe…because the angel has my heart, in his hand, cupping the tender beating organ affectionately and carefully, only waiting to return it once the chains have shattered the overpowering love and obsession from those who don't own it, who never can.
That's what this has always been about in this reincarnated life of mine... finding the right time for Phai to repair it. To repair me.
His eyelids twitched at the dry desert breeze then two colored eyes gazed ahead at the newly risen sun. His whole body was weak and felt lifeless. He found himself slouched against the tire of his truck, covered in dirt. His face, his hair, clothes, all of him. He looked over at the bottle of alcohol in his hand that he didn't remember finishing and felt quickly sickened with the strong taste at the back of his throat. He hurled over as the distasteful vomit emptied from his stomach. That livened him a little bit.
What he did remember last, was haunting memories of his parents. King Phillip drunk and disgruntled, trying to rape his mother in front of him as a toddler. He tried defending her only to get tossed aside like a rag doll. The only thing that stopped something worse from happening was a basket of poisonous serpents accidentally spilling over during the struggle between king and queen, scaring the drunk man away. Phillip hated slithery creatures.
Alex wiped away the fresh puke and chucked the bottle far into the desert. Sloppy and muddled, the blonde haired man pulled his cramped and uncooperative legs to stand. He had left the door open to the truck and the key in the ignition all night which meant his battery was probably dead. With his motor skills lacking and suffering from a massive hangover he was quite composed for being stuck on the side of a road that ran endlessly down the center of desert floor. He turned the key trying to start it up but it failed every time so he just sat back thinking on what to do next. Then suddenly dread arose when he heard his phone ringing.
"Fuck." Alex frantically patted down his body, feeling anywhere for the annoying device. It wasn't on him and he began looking around for it anywhere else but couldn't find it. He would track it by sound but all senses were still lagging. He traced his steps and he ended up finding it under his dead car. He reached under and snatched the phone from the ground right as the ringer ended. It was surprisingly at a decent battery percentage and he saw all the missed calls from Phai. His father was used to him never coming home so it wasn't a concern of his and Phai? Well...he told Phai he'd call him back and didn't. Now he had to pretend everything was good.
He hurriedly called him back knowing exactly how he was going to answer.
"Where the fuck are you?" Phai was furious but mostly worried. He sat up from his bed. "You didn't fucking call me back!"
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm on my way now." Alex lied, shuffling through his mind about all the dumb shit he ever did, including lying to the one person he swore he could never lie to.
"Are you okay? Where are you?" Phai started quickly getting dressed. "Do I need to come get you?"
"The highway. I'm fine. I'll be home soon." He continued to lie.
Phai was just glad to know he was alive "What happened?"
Drugs. Impairment. Alcohol. He wasn't going to say that though. "I uh, fell asleep."
"You slept that long? Bullshit? Do you know what time it is?"
Alex looked at the time. It was already seven thirty in the morning and he was astounded at all the time he wasted doing literally nothing when he could have had a great time with Phai last night. "Give me forty five minutes. Did you eat? I didn't. I'm starving."
"Alex, you're acting weird and you sound out of breath."
"No really, I'm okay. I'll be home soon and we can go to the gym and grab some food after, okay?"
"Okay?" Phai didn't trust him.
Alex saw a car pulling over, luckily. "Hey, I'll see you shortly. Love you, bye." He hung up quick and hid any evidence of anything that might have given him away and walked toward the man who offered to help jump-start his car.
Macedonian Headquarters, India
Ptolemy was sitting on a divan at the end of the bed his friend occupied. He sat drinking from a chalice of wine while winding down for the night. Philip dressed and nurtured the sleeping general who was still passing a high fever but his wounds were going to heal as long as he heeded all instruction in caution of his injuries.
Philip approached the curled haired general. "He's lucky to be alive. And you did excellent getting him here. It couldn't have been easy."
"I was clueless as to what I was doing. I just knew I had to stop the bleeding or else he wouldn't be here. If he's living, it wasn't due to much, just his will alone."
"You brought him back and he is forever grateful for your partnership. If he didn't have you there, he would have given up and died along with the king. He's in good hands now. He'll be well soon. You also need rest. It's important, to heal."
Ptolemy turned to the doctor. "Heal from what? I have not one injury. I'd go as far to say, I was the one being looked after."
"From all things. Physical and mental. You mustn't blame yourself for any damages done to your friend or the king. You couldn't have prevented any of it. It doesn't make you weak. Alexander would have been proud of you, not disappointed. I'll leave you now. It's crucial Hephaistion rests as long as he is able. He won't be capable of fighting or handling any kind of overwhelming stress. In fact, he'd just be a burden. He's going to need to retrain his leg to be able to walk properly again. It will anger him but he should step down from the council until he's mentally sound."
Ptolemy only nodded. He understood. It wasn't going to be easy to convince Hephaistion that he wasn't well enough to be of any use as far as battle but he was diplomatically confident and could continue to oversee any international relations. That also required compassion, tactfulness, and discretion. The last couple of conversations they had together, Hephaistion showed none of the traits that used to set him apart from the rest of the men. All reason and logic was lost but perhaps it would be back with time.
"I'll come back in the morning when he awakes." Philip bowed and then left.
Ptolemy grunted and stood, stress-filled, strolling around the room, finishing the rest of the wine. He was nervous, about facing Cassander tomorrow, knowing the green eyed man all to well. Then there was Craterus who loved Alexander only second to Hephaistion who may or may not react actively. He was mostly concerned for Hephaistion and everything that would hit him once he wakes up. But he was sad for Alexander and what would happen once pronounced dead. If the world found out about his death, there would be a war on the claim of the sacred body.
He heard heavy coughing from the bed and it interrupted his reflection. Ptolemy then rushed over to the general who was now awake and stirring from night sweats. "Hephaistion, what can I do? How can I help?" He set aside his cup and seized the uneasy body lightly.
Hephaistion wiped his mouth once the cough died down. "I tried the water and my appetite refused it." His throat was scratchy and choked from days without proper nourishment.
Ptolemy expressed much relief, his shoulders lowering, that were tense seconds ago. "I'm happy it's nothing more. I'll send for Philip."
"No." Hephaistion weakly grabbed Ptolemy's wrist. "I'm alright."
"You're not." Ptolemy answered honestly and the very pale, red-eyed general challenged him by trying to remove himself from the bed.
"Alexander? Where is he? I need to see him." As much pain and trauma he knew Hephaistion had been through, there was not much that could keep him down if it involved the king.
"You can't walk, Hephaistion." Ptolemy warned him, keeping him from leaping out with two hands pressed at his shoulders. "I assure you, this excitement, it's a very bad idea considering your poor leg isn't up to it. Neither is the rest of your body. Hephaistion, I know you're anxious but you need to rest. Those are orders."
Hephaistion respected his friend enough to settle back down but he was mad about it. "Where is Alexander? Please, don't let them take him."
"He's in his tent. We haven't told anyone and he's being looked after and guarded by Leonnatus and Perdicas. I trust them. Even Perdicas."
"They can't take his body. It's mine to have." The blue eyes were growing emotional and Ptolemy squeezed Hephaistion's hand, trustingly.
"They won't. I won't allow it." The wounded general calmed once more and leaned up fully, Ptolemy helping him. "You're burning." Ptolemy left and brought him back a damp cold towel. "Here."
Hephaistion took it but did nothing with it. He just watched the water drip through his fingers that clutched at the rag strongly. The curled haired general sighed, retracting back the cloth and began rubbing down the non-willful mans face and neck from the sweat. Hephaistion allowed it because he wasn't going to pamper himself, he didn't care to. Blue eyes, now emotionless, looked at the thigh that had been wrapped which he could confidently assume was the leg that was rendered useless now.
Ptolemy noted his concern. "Philip truly believes you'll be able to walk again, just the way you used to."
"I'll have a limp."
"Yes. Better that than a complete removal of the leg."
"It wouldn't matter."
"I suppose you're right." Ptolemy shrugged and poured Hephaistion a cup of wine. "Here? Let's hope your appetite accepts it."
"Philip wouldn't approve." The blue eyed general seemed uninterested.
"Like you said, it wouldn't matter."
Hephaistion scoffed, took the chalice and drank from it. He instantly sent a look of absolute disgust but chugged it anyway until it was gone.
Ptolemy patted him on the back with a proud laugh. "Just like a champion."
"It's strong." Hephaistion complained, with the bad taste still at his tongue.
"It came straight from the royal tent. Alexander's special collection. Care for more?" The curled haired general urged because why not? They both deserved some down time after everything they've been through and survived.
The blue eyed general hesitated but eventually gave in. He nodded and Ptolemy poured them both another cup and chuckled when Hephaistion diluted it a bit down with water. They drank until they were tipsy and until the depression going back the last couple of months died down, just a little.
"It wasn't so long ago, everything was going perfectly for everyone but the enemy. We'd drink, party, fuck, fight and live to do it all another day. How did this happen? How the fuck did we end up here?" Ptolemy asked, lifting his cup for another sip.
"I can tell you exactly how we got here. Once upon a time we followed a very brilliant man across the world who was born straight from dysfunction. He was told the all powerful Zeus was his father by a gypsy woman who coddled him at such a young age up until it became deviant. He grew up with daddy issues and an overbearing mother that there became a fear of loss of love, and a complex sexual connection between them adding on a dislike for his actual father who hated his guts because he feared the lies of his late wife would become true. You have a boy born from an angry and ambitious king who told him that feelings were bad and a mother in love with him who was ruled by the emotional connection it brought. Then he becomes king and he evolves into his own cycle of developed unbalanced ambition. A fearless warrior, idolized by many, born to please, became a drunk which caused him to become severely troubled and many-sided. And the world fell in love with him. I fell in love with him." Hephaistion turned to Ptolemy and unexpectedly he began to giggle. Ptolemy looked at him strangely.
"That isn't funny Hephaistion."
"It is. We followed a warlord deeper and deeper away from home. That's how we got here and we questioned none of it."
"He changed the world."
"He changed, changing the world." Hephaistion quickly turned to somber. "We saw it emerge. He wasn't himself any longer. He became haunted by monsters he used to describe to me but all I did was tell him they were nothing to fear. But then they took him and it's my fault that they did. I shouldn't have told the bravest man in the world to ignore the beasts that ended up transforming him. He convinced so many that nothing could bring him down. He told us as long as he was untouchable, we were untouchable. He convinced us of that and now he's been defeated by our own weakness. I see it now for what it was. Alexander felt stuck and knew there was no turning back. Marching here, was a suicide mission. And I know it because I saw him charge at an enemy so close, he flung the spear and missed. Bucephalus protected him as long as he could, from a blade to the chest. I've never seen an animal so loyal to its human. It was as if he was in on whatever Alexander decided his fate was in that moment. Then Alexander was struck and he didn't get up. I've seen him get back up from worse and this time, he allowed his favorite stallion to die and then he allowed himself to die. He never wanted saving so he abandoned his men and friends he knew would abandon him. He once told me how he felt unfit in a world that was his. He was right. His days are over now. Always mighty and always winning up until we needed him the most."
Ptolemy looked over at the general who wore tender and insecure tears now. He didn't have his hair to hide behind anymore, and he was seen, like never before. "I should have never allowed you to drink."
"Because I'm becoming an emotional burden or because it could clash with my healing?" The general sniffled while looking away.
"Both." Ptolemy replied.
"I plan to fall into a drunken stupor. I will drink until I die."
Ptolemy looked and smiled at him. "You can't die."
"I can."
"You adding water to your wine every time, its going to take awhile for death to kick in."
"I have nothing left for me but time."
"You have hope."
"Look what hope brought, Ptolemy. Weren't we waiting for it? Isn't this what so many asked for? He finally answered their prayers. I dreamed of him before waking up just now. I dreamed that he was alive. I called him. His back was facing me and he was stranded in the middle of a deserted battlefield. Nothing was of color but his gold hair and it waved like lightning and it glowed like a million halos. Then he turned and he faced me, Ptolemy. He was covered in battle remains. He prevailed. I knew it was a dream when he smiled at me. He was the happiest I had ever seen him and that told me how dead he really was. Alexander never smiled on the battlefield. It was to dark of a place for someone so bright. It was the only place the dark could overthrow the light. And it did just that. It overthrew him."
"You're wrong."
"Which part?"
"All of it."
"I'm never wrong about Alexander."
"You're wrong, Hephaistion." Ptolemy looked at him. "It's not the last of him."
The browned haired general shook his head. "I know what you're trying to do."
"You will see him happy again."
"In the afterlife."
"In this life. He lives."
Hephaistion's face lit up in aroused emotion detecting that his friend was speaking truthfully. "What?"
Ptolemy raised his silver cup. "Long live Alexander. Long Live the King."
Woo! Di club is getting warmer, guess who is back up in your corner? Love to see the girl's dem winding up with dem, Dolce and dem, Gabbana! Can I hear you say, turn it up! Mr. DJ Mr. DJ Mr. DJ Mr. DJ! Tun it up! Mr. DJ Mr. DJ Mr. DJ Mr. DJ! Can I hear everybody say, Turn it up! When you hear this tune a play Turn it up! Turn it up Mr. DJ Turn it up! \
The reggae fused music jammed through the busy gym.
Alex was running on the treadmill, wearing black Puma sweats, a black tank and black sneakers. His hair was bundled in a sloppy bun and glittery sweat molested his robust neck and shoulders. He looked good and he knew it because girls were eye fucking him closely and guys were envious from a distance but the blonde kept his head forward taking the workout as seriously as he took what Phai had said to him earlier the morning before. About loving himself. It was bothering him because he didn't know how to. But working out everyday and staying fit was one way.
He jogged two more miles before turning off the machine. It slowed down and he wiped away the sweat at his neck with the rag draped over his shoulder. He went to reach for his water bottle from the slot but then there he was, strutting effortlessly through the gym door covered by his adorned fur coat, shiny gold breastplate, and leather battle skirt with boots and wrists shielded by gold armor and colorful jewels on every finger. He was so out of place but for some reason he fell right into place with the music and his thoughts.
Turn it up some more!Turn it up! Turn it up! Turn it up! Turn it up! Turn it up! Turn it up!Turn it up! Turn it up!Turn it up some more!
Alex scoffed and rolled his eyes at the dramatic entrance no one other than him could see. The only thing that was missing from the theatric king was his gold crown. If he wasn't just some annoying figment of his imagination, Alex would be as resentful as all other men were of him. With good reason. King Alexander was looking magnificent, strict and in control. Then the amazing prominent eyes, outlined in black ash, spotted the glaring Alex. He grinned powerfully gesturing the blonde to come to him. He removed his coat letting it drop to the floor, revealing his red cape made of luxurious silk that swayed and waved in a deliberate motion as he walked toward the pool couldn't believe how jealous of himself he was becoming. Alexander was that amazing. That glorious. That intimidating. And apparently not dead. He hated him.
The blonde wiped down his machine and followed the King. Phai was still doing his laps and Alexander came up to the end of the pool and Alex came up beside him and they both watched their prince tackle the water.
"I was enjoying the belief you weren't coming around anymore." Alex spoke first.
"A simple drowning can't stop me from breathing."
"A simple drowning can stop anyone from breathing. You're not above the elements."
"Yet, here I am. Alive. Long Live, me. Anyway, look at him." Alexander motioned toward Phai.
"In what way?" Alex deemed.
"Anyway you desire. Lust him, love him. To me, it's the same. I've lusted for him in horrific, bad ways and loved not one soul more. The way we used to make love would be frowned upon in this modern life. Our times were more barbaric and uncivilized. The only thing we had more than your world now was honor, dignity and meaning. By the gods, I miss the days Hephaistion was all my sexual rage. Modest for everyone else and immodest for me. He is a man and men know what men like. You couldn't handle the disgust in which he found pleasure."
Alex glared at the king who was watching the beautiful swimmer with tempted and haunting eyes. Alexander was becoming more and more real and more and more of a nuisance. "If you were real, I'd slap that arrogant and perverted smile off your fucking face."
The king smirked holding up his pointer to his own lips as to shush him. "Careful. You shouldn't talk to yourself that way. You must love me. Isn't that what Phai said? But you obviously don't love yourself because you would have said no to drugs. Didn't they teach you that in school?"
Alex looked defeated because he had no words for that amount of shit talk. "It was a one time thing."
"How did it feel? Good? And how did it make you feel after? Shitty? You knew you shouldn't have done it and you did. Then you lied to Phai. Good job."
"He's not going to ask about it." Alex felt bad and knew he would have to make up for it but he wasn't sure how to go about it. He could tell Phai the truth but he wasn't ready for Phai to hate him.
"He's not going to let it go. He may not know about the drugs but he does think something. Trust doesn't come easy for him, so don't go losing it."
Phai swam up to the edge of the pool where Alex was hanging around. He splashed water at his shoe because he was spacing out again. "Hey?"
Alex looked down at his wet foot and then turned to the grinning face of the perpetrator. Now he saw why the king was thinking what he was thinking. Phai looked good wet. "Hey."
"I have ten more then I'll be ready, okay?"
"I'll be here." Alex smiled discreetly. Phai smiled back and went back under the water. Then Alex began to circle the pool watching Alexander who circled the pool the opposite way like it was some stand off.
The king pointed to Phai. "Admire him and soak him up. All of him. The way his body merges with the fluid. The way he comes up slow for another rush of breath. You should be burning up. Your urges should be shuddering within. One of a kind he is and if you let him go, the pain you already suffer will harden into something far more insufferable. But I think I've already told you that before. It's not often one has me repeat myself."
"I didn't ask."
"I'm in your head. What I think, you think. What I feel, you feel. That's just the way it is. We are the same, don't forget it."
"I don't have Phai completely for that reason because I can't escape you."
"You can try by not hating who you are or what you think you are. Hephaistion wouldn't love me if I was a terrible person, Alex. If any of my men had any sense or good judgment at all, it was him. He was careful with who he shared his time and love with. Us. Only and always us. He would never try to change me."
"Believe me, I'm trying really fucking hard not to become a villainous piece of shit."
"Different times change in time, but different people in different times, stay the same. If I'm evil, you are."
"I am already a better version of you." The blonde challenged arrogantly.
"You are. But my days aren't over yet, Alex. You think this story is about you?" They once again came face to face. "It's about my prince. Be better for him. I'm not disagreeing with you, about the evil that is my birthright but I am no devil. Our beloved, our angel, didn't fall in love with the devil. He fell in love with a god. He deserves a god, a supreme that could love him wholly and protect him up until the last breath. Fuck and treat and spoil him in all the right ways. By the end of your life, he should have not a single doubt about who he is or who he fell in love with. I promise you, there are others worse than me, a band of men waiting in line in case we slip up."
Alex looked now to where the king looked and he saw another man swim up next to Phai who was just getting done his last lap. The blonde instantly tensed and Alexander chuckled like a menace. "How can you fight the real evil if you do not seize the one you swore to protect?"
"Who is that?" Alex reeked of insecurities.
"An enemy of mine. But relax." Alexander said putting a calming hand on Alex's shoulder. "Or don't. Jealousy has always been the ugliest form of us."
Phai pulled himself out of the water and the other swimmer hopped out after him. They both went to the bench where their belongings were, while friendly chatting.
"I'm surprised you remember me." Phai said as they both began drying their hair and bodies.
"How could I not? You kicked our asses. You almost ruined my reputation."
"What kind of reputation was that?" Phai squinted curiously.
The new stranger with brown distinct eyes chuckled attractively. "I always win."
Phai snickered doubtfully and began putting on his shirt. "There are many out there who think they always win at everything. There's always a dick sizing contest. It's all beef, all the time."
Darian smiled cockily. "You know a few, huh?"
"I do. An annoying amount."
"But have you ever met one who always did win?" Darian now put on his shirt and they both sat to put on their shoes.
Phai looked at Alex who was across the way. The blonde was glaring hard but probably not knowing it. "I do."
Darian also looked at the man who Phai seemed to be admiring strongly. "Oh yea?"
"Yea."
"Who is that?"
"That's Alex." Phai responded like he couldn't hide from being his biggest fan.
He looked at him as if he was the only guy in his world and Darian noticed. "Is he your swimming coach?" the new stranger with dark hair asked curiously and with a bit of hidden spite.
"No. God, no." Phai didn't register the jealousy because he was distracted. "Alex is afraid of water. You don't remember him because he wasn't at any of the practices or the games. He left the state for awhile and came back. But if he was in the game, your team would have been annihilated early."
"He's that good?"
"He's unnaturally good at everything." Phai bragged. "Except swimming."
"Is he good at making friends, because if looks can kill, I probably wouldn't be talking to you right now?"
"He's probably in his head. He always is." Phai shrugged it off. "He's not mean or a monster. He's just…Alex." Phai wanted to say so much more about the blonde across the way but he became tongue tied. Alex always did that to him. Alex did that to everybody. He even did it to himself.
There was so much more Phai wanted to be for me in order to tag me as his. It hurts me because I never knew what he felt about himself. In his own head, he wasn't good enough for me. In his head, he knew somehow he'd lose me. The irony was, I wasn't good enough for him. If anything, I'd lose him.
"Is he your partner? Boyfriend?" Darian bravely asked. "It's obvious he has the hots for you."
Phai smiled but there was sadness fused behind it. "He's a hard one to have. Even harder to keep." It was blunt and Darian glared at the man glaring at him. "No one has him. They think they do but they don't."
"If you don't have him it must mean you're available then?" Darian chuckled but it came off as more playful than flirtatious.
Phai looked beautifully at the guy who was low-key hitting on him. "No one has me."
"Good to know."
"It was good seeing you." Phai started to understand what was happening. It was his cue not to keep Alex waiting.
"You, too. Anytime you want to meet up, let me know." In a charming way, Darian gave Phai his number. "I come here a lot."
Phai nodded politely and took it. "I'll see you around then."
"Hope so." Darian left with a wink and Phai got the hint. He grabbed his duffel bag and walked up to Alex. The way men flirted with him was either forced aggression or unfriendly teasing. He wasn't used to the subtle fundamental way. Then there was Alex, and all he had to do was stare to get his attention. Just like how he was doing now but without the foulness.
He looked hurt, mad and restrained all at once and Phai knew why. "Alex, wipe that adorable look off your face." Everyone else would be terrified to approach Alex with that look, but not Phai. He poked fun at it.
"Men aren't that friendly to other men if they weren't interested in men. Just saying." Alex confirmed watching Darian leave out the doors with suspicious intent.
"He has a girlfriend, Alex."
"He gave you his number, Phai. He likes you."
"Maybe. We have swimming and football in common. That's it."
"What's his name?"
"Darian."
"That's a bad guy name. His intentions are bad."
Phai laughed. It was a bad guy name and he found it hilarious that Alex was worked up about it. "I love your angry face, Alex. It's so cute. Besides, he isn't even a friend. I know him through our opposing schools. Apollo played against Genesis. You showed up after. Also, you have no right to be jealous. You were ready a couple of days ago to give me up."
"Phai, you know why." Alex deeply frowned.
"I know. I'm sorry." The browned haired man sighed apologetically. He didn't mean to say that. "You ranted on about how I will find the best man in the world and that I'm only fit for someone grand. But you can't be mad at me when some guy does finally come around that I end up drawn to. It hasn't been anyone but you. If that's not going to be you, than who? "
Alex said nothing and Phai had a 'thought so' look and walked away.
The king slipped back up by Alex's side. "Do you want to know something?"
"What?" Alex angrily expressed.
"It doesn't matter what happens, Phai knows what he wants. You two will always come crawling back to each other. In this world, there are partners, there are lovers, and there are soul mates. Beyond the world and all else, there is you two, who have something more. Get him and keep him. Use your eyes to see."
The king was gone again and Alex followed Phai to the checkout counter. Phai signed out, then Alex did and they left the gym and walked to Phai's brand new car. Phai wasn't going to allow Alex to drive them anywhere anymore, not after what happened during the mysteries of last night and this morning combined.
Alex knew he was wrong by saying nothing so he tried to make it up to him. "You do realize how great at swimming you are? I was keeping time. You're fast on freestyle but you have an even faster backstroke. You might as well be an Olympian." He said opening his car door.
"I'm digging the compliment but I don't swim because it's a passion. I swim because you drown a lot. Someone has to save you." Phai grinned pulling out his keys and opening his door.
Alex frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You drown in your own self hate." Phai answered tossing his bag in the back.
"You hate that I have doubts? It's normal to have doubts." Alex tried to justify. "Why can't I have doubts about myself like all other normal people?"
"You're not all other people, Alex. And you're sure the fuck not normal." Alex could see now, why Phai was affected. Phai walked over to him. He snatched his bag from his hand. They weren't going anywhere just yet and Alex knew that when Phai came face to face with him. He was in trouble. "You can have doubts, that's not what I hate. I hate that you thought you could be replaced by some guy I had one small chat with. Do you not know who you are? Have you not seen yourself? Or felt your own energy? If I wanted to be taken by that guy or other basic men that come to me I would have been long gone but here I am waiting for you to come around. If I wasn't so scared of you losing yourself, I would have declared you mine, the second I laid eyes on you. I need you to stop telling yourself that you're the devil in shape of a man because the more you believe it, the more you'll lose out on and I don't want to lose you to some imaginary force tricking you into being something that you can fight. You're a fighter, right? Fight it." Alex didn't know what to say and just stared at him. Phai was looking at him back, waiting for something. Anything. They were so close they could have kissed but it wasn't about that. Not yet. Phai just wanted to know…"Why do you treat yourself so wrong?"
"I don't." Alex denied.
"You do."
"Phai, I don't."
"Alex, you do. You are the only person I know who can express confidence but not have any."
"I never said that I was the devil." Alex said ignoring the most recent question.
"You think it. If anyone can see what you're thinking, it's me and you think it all the time. You have these internal battles with yourself and I know what he is saying to you."
"Then you know he can be encouraging and then he turns back around with that arrogant cocked face grin and continues to fuck with my head, and his intentions are no longer pure, but demeaning."
"But he's not real. Alexander is you inside of your own head. If you feel frustrated, Alexander will frustrate you. If you feel sad, Alexander will hand you a chalice of alcohol. If you're happy, then he wouldn't be a problem. I know how real he feels. Through you, I can feel and see him, too. I saw him, in the beginning, when we were young boys playing at the pond and running through the field and he was innocent, kind, and gentle. He was the most incredible boy I had ever seen. Now, I see how he is and what he's changed into, and he's troubled, proud but he could be powerful. Then I see who he thinks he must be and he's feral and callous and angry. But all three versions of yourself, they're all sad and that's the first thing I see. Everyone else can't recognize it because you hide so well. He is you, telling you what you are. You can be all of these things and not hate yourself. I don't want you to be sad anymore."
Alex again said nothing to that because it was all true and Phai handed the duffel back to him. Alex took it but he was reluctant because this couldn't have been the end of the discussion. The blonde then watched Phai walk away from him and get in the car. Then Alex threw his bag in the back, got in the car and closed the door. They were quiet for a little while just watching people pass by in the lot. Phai didn't start the car just yet. He had his thinking face on. It looked a lot like he was pissed about something.
Alex was looking at him. It was wrong of him to have left him worried all night.
"Phai, I'm sorry. " Alex reached over and ran Phai's damp hair away from his face. He was in a mood and he could guess about what. "Everything that happened last night shouldn't have happened and I'm paying for it now. You're right to be mad at me."
"When you arrived home today, and I came by to grab you, you were a mess. You smelt like booze and mouthwash. You weren't acting right. I'm not mad, Alex. It just sucks that I couldn't help out more."
That really made Alex feel like shit and the blonde leaned back. He didn't deserve him. "Do you want to know what I was thinking this morning when I saw all of your missed calls?" Alex said and Phai looked at him. "When I called you back and heard you answer right away? I was thinking how dangerous it felt to feel the way I do for you. You want to know what Hephaistion's job is? Keeping Alexander safe from pain and keeping him sane from everything else. You've always been the only one he could gripe to. Not even on your worst day or night would you reveal yourself, not to anyone but him. If he wanted to fuck you over every dead body he's killed in battle, you'd allow it. You'd allow your hand in between his thighs and you'd rub him off until he came for you. Until he was no longer sad from all the men who died by his hand. Until his lust from the battle, dis-impassioned. Until he no longer had a hard on for war. Although innocent, isolated and modest, you, in my dreams, could be cunning and brash and vile when depraved by him and I could be inflamed when deprived of you. And to watch you take over and tame what no one else could, was beyond anything and everything extraordinary. People didn't hate Hephaistion. There was not a single person in that world who men desired more. I was king and even I felt like nothing next to you. You had control over the most powerful man in the known world. You made him feel stripped of everything. I will be feral and I will be ruthless because I am threatened by those who look at you in ways I don't approve because of intentions I can't change. I am sad, Phai. There is nothing I could give back to you that you have given me. But I'm not jealous. You haven't seen me jealous. I protect what's mine and my desire for you is stronger than any fire that consumes what it burns. Now imagine a jealous Alexander? There wouldn't be a fire. There would be a massacre and a king covered in an ocean of deserved blood shed. The thing is, the king never loved himself. He only loved you, like all men do."
Phai looked horrified. Not the "I can't believe you just said that," horror, but the literal terror at how much he wanted to fuck Alex for saying what he just said. Alex didn't read it that way. He just assumed he was in further trouble.
"Adjust your seat back. Open your legs."
Now Alex blinked at him in confusion. "What?"
"Adjust your seat back and spread your legs." Phai commanded once again. He looked annoyed but he was just abrasively desperate as he imagined Alex's tongue in his mouth.
"Why?"
"A loved man should love himself."
Alex was definitely in some kind of trouble. The good kind though. Maybe. He couldn't tell quite just yet. Phai whipped the seat belt away from him and shoved his hand down his joggers, feeling on himself. The blondes face paled at the sight of Phai stroking his own dick and was trying to figure out how they got there. But then he remembered that Alexander and Hephaistion were notorious for making love after any heated argument.
He did as he said and Phai climbed in his lap, facing him. Then the blue eyed man started to thrust his cock along Alex's thick muscular thigh through his sweats.
Alex moaned, provoked by the feeling it stirred in him. It didn't take long for his own dick to get hard. "Phai?"
"Don't talk."
"People can see us."
"Let them." He answered through rigid breathing.
Alex loved that answer and he kissed the man grinding the hell out of him in the small compacted car and it was hard and vicious and the whimpering from the man his mouth played against, vibrated down his tongue. Phai was extra horny and very vocal about it. With whimpers so sexy and unapologetic from the grind, Alex felt he had to step up his game. But Phai wouldn't let him. "You don't get to touch me."
It sounded like Phai was mad at him and Alex had to stay put suffering from no contact other than the mouth but just when he thought Phai was mad at him enough, the browned haired man pulled his lips away from his and left him hanging for more kisses. Then he tried working his own agonized cock and Phai grabbed his hand away holding it away and Alex growled in sexual confusion. "Phai, you're being petty."
Phai didn't respond, caught up in his own contentment. Of course it made it harder, watching and feeling Phai fuck his leg and Alex closed his eyes as the build up grew inside of himself.
Phai dry humped him until he came, then he swung his leg over and sat back in the seat using the steering wheel to position him. He fixed himself and Alex was looking particularly unsatisfied and disgruntled.
"I'm sorry." Phai apologized. "I just needed that. I'm better now." He leaned over and kissed the confused blonde lightly on the mouth. "We're going to do something for your birthday. You deserve to be celebrated."
Alex didn't argue. Phai knew what was best for him.
Hi Lysis! Great hearing from you! You have no idea how exciting that was to read your review :D
Thank you all for the reviews/PMs and special thanks to those who have supported the story since the beginning and still hanging on. - Stranger