---
Christine
---
I waited for Meg to come and get me like she did every morning but she was later than usual and I thought maybe I should make my way without her. Then I wondered if she could be ill but rapid knocking on my door disturbed that silent thought.
"Good morning," I smiled cheerily at her as I opened the door. She was flushed and out of breath and I instantly worried again. "Are you well?" I reached to feel her forehead and her cheek and she brushed off my hand impatiently.
"I'm fine, let's go," she dragged me from my room and I barely had time to lock the door before she was pulling me down the hall. We made it about five steps and then she noticed something on my hand that wasn't usually there. She stopped and pulled my hand under her nose to gape down at the engagement ring and I bit my lip to keep from grinning foolishly. It was an exquisite ring.
"He gave you your ring?" she squealed and I shushed her laughingly.
"It's still a secret for now."
We started walking again as she snorted, "It won't be for long if you go waving it around."
"I'm not planning to wave my hands around in front of everyone's face," I assured her.
"So no dancing for you today?" she gestured to my ladylike dress as opposed to her dancing tights.
I shrugged, "The managers did offer me the role of understudy. I'm hoping they realize I'm a better singer than dancer."
"I doubt Carlotta will be back today anyway."
"Really?" I was excited by that, her being absent made my life easier at the moment.
"She'll be too embarrassed that they found a replacement," she gave me a quick one armed hug as we walked, "And one that did so well too."
We made it to rehearsal right before they started and Meg went to stretch and warm up with the other dancers. I felt out of place and stood off to one side carefully folding my hands in front of me with one palm over the ring. Maybe I should have left it in my room but the thought of removing it galled me. I glanced around and Mme Giry was looking at me and I wondered if I should apologize to her about assuming I was now a singer but then she didn't need me to be a dancer; I was terrible compared to the other girls. I looked away from her and found Meg chatting with Julie. I hadn't really spoken to Julie much since the whole episode with Raoul and thinking of him made me look out into the audience. There were no patrons watching today but Piangi was sitting out there with the young man that followed him around and I wondered if I should stand out there when Monsieur Reyer came up to me.
"Good morning, Mademoiselle Daae," he bowed slightly and I nodded and smiled. "La Carlotta will not be attending today and I have been informed that you are now the understudy."
"I am," I replied firmly. I was okay with that role, surely the woman could not sing every night and I would get the chance to be on stage again at some point. I was also offered those secondary roles and she would not be able to stop me from singing then.
"Are you familiar with the music?" he held the score towards me and I glanced at the pages as he flipped through them quickly.
"I am," I nodded to emphasize even though I barely got a glance at the pages he ruffled.
"Very well," he took the music back and strode away. I was nervous by his abrupt demeanor. Did he not think I was good enough for the lead? I moved out to the audience area and sat near Piangi. He nodded graciously at me and then continued speaking to his assistant. I daydreamed and listened to the music and watched Meg warm up for almost an hour while the orchestra practiced parts of the music. The managers showed up and Mr. Reyer almost immediately called me to the stage. He announced the aria 'Think Of Me' and then held up his hands to proceed. I cleared my throat and wanted to ask for some warm up but didn't want to interrupt the flow of rehearsal or seem so unprepared in front of the managers so I nodded to begin and hoped that Erik was not in Box 5 today.
The song went well but when it came to the high notes at the end I stopped. It wasn't fair to push me that hard without any warm up and Mr. Reyer abruptly stopped the musicians.
"That was not the finish I was looking for. Is there a problem, Mlle Daae?"
"The notes are within my range," I assured him, "But I do not believe I should attempt it with so little warm up," I was trying to be subtle.
He bristled slightly, "La Carlotta has never complained of my methods." I wanted to mention that she had more experience and maybe it was why she screeched sometimes but held my tongue and bowed my head.
"Forgive me Monsieur, my singing instructor is very adamant about warm up so as not to strain my vocal chords."
"Give her some warm up, Reyer," Monsieur Firmin demanded from next to Piangi. Mr. Reyer got even stiffer and raised his hands again.
"Some arpeggios?" his voice and lips were tight and I hated that I'd made him angry. As I sang the scaling notes higher and higher I knew I would have to speak with him later when no one was around to try to clear this up. We tried the song again after roughly ten minutes of scales and when the ending came this time I hit the high notes with confidence. Mr. Reyer looked a little shocked and the managers stood to clap excitedly.
"Brava!" they exploded and even Piangi clapped for me. I curtsied demurely and waited to be told what to do. Mr. Reyer tapped his music stand and called out.
"Principal dancers for the opening ballet!"
Thus dismissed, I left the stage and Piangi approached me.
"You are marvelously talented, Mlle Daae."
"Thank you," I bowed my head as he raised my hand to his mouth for a kiss.
"I look forward to working with you," and he shasshayed his bulk around me and he and his assistant took to the stage as if he knew his part was next. Which it was. I watched the rest of rehearsals unfold from my seat in the front row. The managers asked me briefly if I'd had enough time to think on their offer and I told them I would accept it. They ran off to write it up and said they'd bring it at the end of rehearsal for me to read and sign. When everyone broke for lunch, Meg gestured for me but I waved her off for a second. Now was a perfect opportunity to speak with the conductor.
"Monsieur Reyer?" I started quietly and he turned proudly, his eyebrow raised, reminding me very much of my fiancé. "I feel we may have gotten off on a bad foot. I may not have the experience that La Carlotta does but it has been drilled into me that warming up the throat is tantamount to reaching the notes effortlessly. Otherwise you risk ruining your instrument. If you would prefer me to come to rehearsal early so we do not have to bore everyone with my scales..."
"Even your scales are not a bore," he was quick to interject. I smiled bashfully at his compliment.
"Thank you but I must stress my need for the extra warm up. Should I try to warm up before arriving? I thought with the musicians here ready to play...I thought..." I was getting flustered because I was assuming I would be granted privileges, like warming up with the orchestra, but he took pity on me.
"Forgive me, Mlle, I am so used to barking and everyone taking my orders, well everyone except for Carlotta," he smiled. "Now that I am aware you would like the warm up that she does not require I am happy to oblige. Will twenty minutes be enough?" He was being very polite and I wondered if me hitting every one of the high notes at the end of 'Think Of Me' is what now garnered me his respect.
"That will be perfect," I grinned. "Thank you."
As I turned to leave two of the violinists whispered to one another, "Did you see the ring?"
"See it? It practically blinded me."
"New girl thinks the De Changy name will carry her to fame..."
"I don't know, she is pretty good..."
"Carlotta will eat her alive..."
I kept my feet moving towards Meg because I couldn't think of what else to do. My French was still lacking a little but I was pretty sure that I understood what had been said. And the name De Changy was unmistakable. They must have read the paper and now with the ring on my finger....
Oh dear, Erik was not going to be happy...
---
Erik
---
Before I left the opera I wrote two separate, short letters to Mr. Lauzier and Mr. Renaux asking for an audience the night of Christine's planned dinners. They explained that she was my student and due to the fact that she had debuted, required my escort. I checked the wooden box for messages because Bernard would have written if he couldn't get the mirror by today, but then perhaps Mme Giry decided she no longer wished to work for me.
I grumbled to myself as I left the dark recesses of my opera to head to Nadir's. I felt like I was going there a lot more lately and I pondered that as the brougham jolted along. I had always been welcome but just never took up the opportunity to go. Of course, I needed him right now and that was why I was headed over. I felt bad for relying so heavily on his involvement. Was I not man enough to shoulder all the responsibility my new role at Christine's side garnered me? Or was it because I was not normal enough...
Besides any of my usual insecurities, Nadir did say he would help with my papers and I wanted to ask him about weddings and he needed to make the announcement soon and I wanted help finding out who Count Inninbalm was...
Too many things happening all at once. It was slightly disconcerting. Would I be able to keep everything together?
When I arrived I didn't bother to knock and force Berou to be in my presence so I just walked in and went looking for Nadir. He was in the back garden sitting in the morning sunlight with his eyes closed. I came up silently beside him.
"Sleeping, old man?" I startled him and he turned his disapproving gaze my way.
"Sneaking around, Erik?" I laughed and he gestured for me to sit with him. A smile slowly spread on his face, "I am guessing she said yes?"
I nodded and felt so light and happy, so carefree that I lifted off my mask and closed my eyes to feel the glorious sun upon my face. Soon winter was going to pounce on us with a vengeance but right now I sighed happily.
"She said yes," just saying it out loud made that familiar pressure build in my chest. "I love her so much Nadir." I furrowed my brow, "Is it normal to feel so...so overwhelmed and yet so sure...so protective and possessive and yet..." I trailed off thinking of my angel. Nadir laughed gently.
"Love is many things, Erik," he sighed himself and closed his eyes to take in the last of autumn's sun. "It is the greatest wonder in this world, the thing that men will die for, whether it is love of a country, a god or of a woman. It is powerful and yet gentle, simple and easy but beautiful and sad, sometimes also painful but so exquisite that once it touches you, you are never the same..."
I knew he was thinking of his family, long dead and so far away.
"You still love them even after all this time..." it was hard for me to speak of things I was only just learning about but I suddenly realized how meaningful it was to be sitting like any man, maskless in the open, in the sun, talking to the man I thought of as my father. I couldn't let this opportunity pass.
"Once you've given someone your heart, your very soul, it is impossible to take it back," his voice betrayed his pain though he kept his eyes closed. Perhaps they were filling with tears and he did not wish to cry in front of me.
"You still love your wife..." with Christine beside me I could understand how a woman controls a man's life so completely but if she was dead....
My throat clenched. I think I would die slowly and painfully day after day, shriveling up until nothing was left of me. Nadir was studying me now.
"Could you imagine giving your heart to another if Christine were to pass?" the thought destroyed me.
"No! Never!" I was apalled he would even say such a thing.
"And you think my wife meant any less to me?" his eyebrow curved upward in question. I breathed erratically and tried to sort the facts out.
"So everyone does feel this way? So frantic and yet mostly calm. So crazy that you think you've gone insane and yet so sure...Do you believe that some people find their perfect mate, a soul mate?" I searched his face for answers.
"I believe it." The answer was there in his sad eyes.
"Tell me about her," I suddenly wanted to hear about his wife and child. I wanted to know everything of his life before me. Everything he could tell me about love. He smiled a little but it wasn't entirely happy.
"What do you wish to hear? How I was bewitched by a girl with stormy grey eyes when I myself was practically a man? How I waited for her until she was sixteen, rejecting every woman my parents brought before me? How I pledged her my life against my father's wishes and my mother's tears? That I left my vast inheritance behind to work and toil and be with my beautiful bride? That our life together was wonderful but achingly short? Our child ill and eventually crippled?" tears finally brimmed in his eyes. "Everyone has pain in their life Erik. But there is always light. You only have to know where to look, and to recognize it when you find it."
We were silent for a few minutes until I spoke quietly, "I'm sorry for bringing up your pain. I have no right to..."
"Oh stop it," he waved his hand irritated. "You have every right to ask me questions. Do you even have any clue why I brought you home with me that day?"
Another thing we never spoke of. How is it that Nadir and I spoke of everything and yet spoke of nothing?
"I assumed you felt sorry for me," I twirled the mask between my fingers.
"Perhaps I did but it was because you had his hair, his build, her eyes..." I looked up confused.
"His..."
"Reza." The name hovered in the warm morning air around us, curling in my ears as if it longed to be cherished one last time and then it was swept away by a crisp blast of wind. I looked like his son? My mouth was open in shock but his eyes were closed again. "I've always loved you Erik and just never...was it truly misplaced love...you speak of feeling crazy...insane...I never really could tell if I was crazy or if I'd been blessed with another chance at happiness or even how to show you or tell you...and...and you were so withdrawn...I tried...and then I betrayed you in the worst way and...I wanted to be punished forever for it...mostly I thought I had finally slipped into insanity...I truly thought you were him for awhile...but none of that matters anymore..."
I had no idea what to say and after a brief pause he continued with more composure.
"Forgive me for ruining your peace. I always seem to do that to you. I am so very glad that Christine has accepted your proposal. I know you will be very happy together. I will have it announced by Wednesday. Your birth certificate is inside on my desk. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to be alone right now."
He seemed balanced on a knife blade, like he was holding in every emotion until I left him. I was in physical pain at the thought of leaving him like this and it was a revelation of sorts for me.
"You have always been my only father," I said quietly as I pushed the mask back in place.
"You are my son, Erik." His head was bowed and I absurdedly wanted to hold him close to me as I often did with Christine. Was that how children and parents acted? My mother never held me or told me she loved me but I stood over him, his declaration still ringing in my ears and wanted to hold his aging body next to mine with such intensity. I reached out and touched his shoulder, unsure as a young boy.
His vivid green eyes lifted and I could see that he thought his misplaced love for me would drive me away. I could see he was sad, hurting and alone. I never realized that other people could feel as alone as I did when they lived in the world and I could not.
"I...," I wanted to tell him I loved him too but it felt so strange. My grip on his shoulder tightened.
"Go Erik," he absolved me of doing or saying anything, "Will I see you both on Sunday?"
I nodded with a tight throat and he smiled.
"Good, now go before you get burned by the sun, I highly doubt you ever spend so much time in it. My weathered skin can take it." He sounded more like himself and I walked away slowly, obeying his commands like any good son would do. New and strange loving sensations floated through me and I wasn't sure if it was normal for a man to feel so much for another man. Was it okay because I saw him as my father or was it just perverse?
I found my new birth certificate on his desk and almost raced back out to him to demand he take it back.
The name written on the old yellowed paper was Erek Karan. It was a one hundred percent authentic birth certificate from Tehran in 1849, with my name over where the name Reza should be, which made me 32 and gave me a birthday of March 9. I held the paper to my nose and could detect the very faint chemical smell of the solvent required to dissolve ink from paper.
I left his home feeling such emotion that tears slipped my eyes for a few minutes in the confines of the brougham. He was wiping out the existence of his true son for me to be born in his place. I would make sure he never regretted it. I would ask Christine what a father needs from their child and whatever it was I would give it.
I composed myself by the time I reached the opera and Bernard was already waiting for me by the side entrance. He greeted me politely and said the mirror was around the back. He asked if I needed help moving and installing it and I nodded, keeping up the conversation by mentioning that we needed to meet soon to discuss the next house. I also brought up my new project on Nadir's estate and Bernard, ever ready to lend a hand, asked if I would need help with that one. I said I would let him know. As much as I wanted to build the entire house for Christine all by myself I knew it was a little overzealous of me.
We moved the mirror into the tunnel and Bernard glanced at the curtain covered entrance to one of the dorm rooms. He didn't say anything but I could see the questions in his eyes.
"Is that all then?" he asked politely.
"Yes, thank you for your aid and your swiftness in getting this to me." I gestured at the mirror and he nodded and then took his leave. He'd looked a little surprised at my appreciation and I wondered if I didn't often thank him? Or maybe he just thought me even stranger now than he already did? Unimportant, I suppose, as long as he continued to work for me.
I worked diligently for 5 straight hours, installing the special track and placing the mirror carefully upon it, as well as filing down the edges of the stone to ensure the mirror would not break when opened and closed frequently. I was so engrossed that I didn't even hear the key in the lock.
"Erik!" she sounded delighted to see me and I wiped the dust from my hands quickly on my pant legs as she flew into my arms.
"My love..." I greeted her and embraced her thoroughly. The morning with Nadir had somehow made me feel more vulnerable and more needy and I held her extra tight before I noticed her hair was not still braided as I had assumed. "What have you done to your hair?" To say I was displeased with the long straight sleek lines it created down her back would be understating things. Her curls were gone, as if they had never been, and I desperately mourned their passing.
"They ironed it to see what it would look like."
"Who is they?" my voice had heat to it, as if I would hunt 'they' down. "Is it..." please no, "Permanent?"
"No," she had the audacity to laugh and I growled as I drew her in, nose to nose.
"Good. I never want to see it like this again."
"Calm down, my heart," she patted my cheek and then pried herself from my arms. My lips twitched because part of me just kept falling deeper and deeper in love with her, and part of me wanted to demand that she never allow anyone to press her hair ever again, and part of me wanted to press her to the wall to devour her...
"It's marvelous, Erik," she was inspecting the edge. "You can't even tell it will open. How does it work?"
"The switch is on the other side," I kept my eyes from my gross reflection and on her. She turned to me with a small frown.
"Why not on both sides?"
"I don't want you getting lost in those tunnels."
She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, "If you would show me the way I wouldn't get lost."
"Can I not escort you every time?" I bantered back but then really did not want to fight with her. "Truthfully, I thought it might be safer with the chance of other people in your room that it only open from the other side. Imagine explaining why your mirror suddenly opened to a dark passageway if someone happened to randomly lean in the wrong place."
"True," she conceeded slowly looking at the mirror and then back at me. "So how often will you be entering through here?" My mouth opened but I did not get a chance to speak. "How will you know if I have company or if I am in a state of undress, or do you plan to barge in whenever you feel like it? And once you are here, how will you leave through this passage if it does not open from the inside?" Her curious golden eyes twinkled merrily at me.
"I plan to never leave," I vowed as I took her in my arms. She laughed for me and trailed her fingers into my hair.
"Maybe I will never let you leave..." I leaned down to kiss her but she pulled back just as my lips touched hers. "No distracting me, Erik. How will we use it?" she repeated and I sighed and spoke rapidly.
"The mirror is one way, from the tunnel you can see within. The curtain is hung so you can cover the entrance if you are not ready for my company or if you do not wish for my company. I thought this could be used as more of a dressing room for you and you could stay with me until I build us a proper house."
"I will never close the curtain." Her body squirmed against me delicately, "Now where were we..." she pulled me back down but as my hands trailed through her straight hair I felt like she was not my woman and I pulled away this time.
"What will cure this ailment?" I let her hair fall from my hands.
"Water," she quirked an eyebrow at me quizzically.
"Quickly get ready so we can go and I can throw you in the lake."
She giggled, "I'd rather have another bath with you." My eyes locked on her but hers stayed down and I detected a rosy blush blooming on her cheeks as she bit her lip. Well, that sounded delightful to me.
I left her room and moved through the shadows of the hall to the tunnel and then stood at the window to her room in my dark passageway. She was waiting for me, gazing into the mirror, trying to see past her reflection and I stared at her marveling for the thousandth time that she was mine. I pressed the mechanism and the mirror slid away.
Christine's eyes marveled at the wonder and then she grinned at me and held out her hand.
"Monsieur Phantom, are you my escort this evening?" she stepped through and I slid the curtain half closed and then allowed the mirror to close. We quickly moved through the tunnels aided by the light from my lantern. I refrained from throwing her in the lake and as we waited for the bathwater to heat we ate a small dinner and I found out how rehearsal had gone.
The hog was still absent and Christine mentioned her encounter with the conductor.
"He is jealous," I explained, "With Carlotta as lead, his music easily out shines her but with you as lead...now it will be different." She pushed me playfully as I left the kitchen to check the bath water.
"If you keep complimenting me I'm going to get a swelled head."
I muttered under my breath about giving her my swelled head but she heard nothing as she turned to clear the dishes. The water was ready for us and I tended the fire in my room, which cleverly also heats my bath water. I removed my jacket and hung it, looking at my large bed wondering if Christine would sleep with me again and let me love her again. I started to leave my room and suddenly Christine was in front of me in the doorway.
We bumped and she stumbled back a little and I reached to catch her as we both spoke.
"I was just coming to get you..."
"I was just coming to find you..."
We laughed and I could hardly believe that this was my new future, she was my future. I led her into the bath room and her eyes stayed down on the ground as her cheeks bled red. Oh, my innocent vixen...
I lifted her chin slowly, "Your blushes are so enticing..." I pulled her lips to mine and let my hands wander down her back.
"Mmmph..." she mewled into my kiss and I began undoing the back of her dress. Her hands wandered themselves, tracing my backside through my pants and then traveling to my vest and shirt to begin on the buttons. By the time our clothing was undone I was fully aroused and wanting her before I fixed the problem of her hair. I helped her slide out of her dress and she quickly pushed the layers off my shoulders. The corset hugged her waist tightly and I itched to just cut it off of her when her trembling hands tried to grasp the ties of my pants. My swollen cock jerked excitedly at the gentle touch of her hands and I took her wrists gently.
"Christine..." I breathed closing my eyes. She drove me to the edge without even trying...
"How do you undo them?" she whispered as her fingers fumbled and my body jerked as she touched me again. She paused and looked up at me while I floundered in my lust for her. "Do you like that?" she asked coyly, gently running her fingers over my imprisoned shaft.
I practically groaned for her and she giggled. I silenced her laughter with a searing kiss, bending myself over her to possess her with my tongue in her mouth and my hands splayed on her back. She made a noise and clutched at me, kissing me back so hard that our teeth rubbed as our tongues danced. My fingers were frantically trying to undo her corset and her nails were biting into my shoulders.
When the wall appeared for me to press her against, I realized I'd backed her into it. I wanted to forget the remainder of our clothing, lift her body around mine, release my hard desire and drop her upon it and thrust her mindlessly into the stone wall but I somehow found the control to let go and step back, breathing hard. Calm yourself Erik...later...give her time...
She stared at me, also breathing hard, and was she trembling where she leaned against the wall? It was hard for me to tell in my state...
"Take off your pants," her husky soft voice commanded and I stood still for a minute, our eyes burning into one another, before I complied. I stood naked before her, my attraction to her very evident as it reached up as high as it could and almost out towards her. Her eyes traveled down my body and back up and I growled very softly.
Her golden orbs fastened on my face and she began undoing her corset lacings where my attempts left off, she let it drop and stepped out of it daintily. Her fingers gathered handfuls of the delicate chemise and it was tossed aside with her other clothing. Her golden skin beckoned my touch and I ravenously raked my eyes over her curved figure before reaching to press our bodies together. She wound her arms around me with a sigh and we held each other tight.
I swallowed to try to speak normally, "It would be a shame to waste the bath water," I said softly, still wanting to fix the disaster her hair was in.
"It would," was all she said as she led me to the bath.