The audience is a little confused. When was the last time someone beat their opponent in such an anticlimactic, yet glorious way? Iruka smiles to himself. His own go at the chunin exams was similarly confounding to the audience.
Now, there is the small matter of the next match. "And now, the next match!" announces Iruka, pushing the button for the computer.
"Make it people who are actually supposed to be fighting!" yells a spectator.
"Sasuke Uchiha VS The Cooties," says the computer.
Iruka is sure he didn't program the computer with this one. In fact, half of these matches were not of his design. Did Hayate do this to get back at him?
"What the Kishimoto is going on with the computer?!" demands Tsunade.
Iruka looks up at Hayate and sees the give away grin on his face. "The computer is becoming self-aware," says Iruka. Two can play at this prank. Hayate's smile falters.
"Sorry, wrong match," says the computer screen.
Hayate looks at Iruka making the ninja hand signal that means 'did you do that?'
'No,' Iruka signs back. 'I take it you didn't either?'
'Then who did?' asks Hayate, looking slightly terrified.
"I'm sorry," reads the computer screen. "Wrong fight. I meant: Hinata Hyuuga VS Neji Hyuuga."
"Didn't we already have this match last year?" yells Kiba voice.
"Ever heard of a rematch!" yells Naruto.
Hinata and Neji leap down into the arena.
"I will not go easy on you, Lady Hinata," says Neji.
"I will not go easy on you either, Neji niisan," replies Hinata with more confidence than Iruka has ever seen in her.
"Begin!" commands Iruka, stepping out of the two Hyuugas' way.
The two Hyuugas take mirroring gentle fist stances. Blue chakra manifests around Hinata's arms and takes the form of blue, stylized lions. "Twin Lionfists!" she says and charges at Neji.
He counters with Eight Trigrams Vacuum Palm, knocking Hinata over. "Why are you lion around?" he asks.
Hinata pulls herself to her feet and says, "Oh, do you need to vacuum here? I'll just get out of your way. I know you take your cleaning seriously."
"Seriously, though, the Hyuuga clan's traditions need some cleaning up and sorting through. The way the elders horde and protect tradition you'd think it was an endangered species."
"Oh, the traditions aren't the endangered species," says Hinata. "The branch house is. After all, it will vanish soon."
"Vanish like your stutter - or bowls of ramen in an eating contest between you and your father."
"Or like your dignity once I've wiped the arena floor clean with your hair!"
"If you had any of your own, you wouldn't need to use mine."
"Less is more: my hair is prettier than yours."
"Indeed it is," admits Neji. "You have won this battle: I admit defeat."
"Winner of the battle of wit: Hinata!" announces Iruka, glancing up at the section of the crowd composed of the entire Hyuuga clan. Hiashi is smiling and nodding in pride and satisfaction. It seems that Hiashi has been training his daughter in the secret Hyuuga art of outwitting your opponent with plays on words.
The two Hyuugas leave the arena.
"The next match better be an exciting one!" yells someone from the crowd.
The Randomization Computer changes from; "Neji Hyuuga VS Hinata Hyuuga" to "Princess Azula VS Cinder Fall."
There is a profound hush in the arena.
Then Hayate's voice rings out, "Who is controlling the computer?"
"I have no idea," says Iruka. "It is definitely acting on its own."
"Oh, sorry, I thought you knew what the next match would be," says the computer. "It's obviously Suigetsu VS Karin."
"The computer's alive!" screams someone in the audience.
"Don't be silly," says Iruka. "It's obviously someone's programming. Now could Suigetsu and Karin get down here for their match?"
The two Rain genin make their way into the arena as the computer screen changes to read "Suigetsu Hozuki VS Karin Uzumaki".
Once Suigetsu and Karin are in position Iruka announces, "Begin!"
"Um," says Suigetsu. "I ain't goin' easy on you, just cause you only began your formal training six months ago."
"And I won't go easy on you just because you lived half your life in a fishtank!" counters Karin.
"Less talking, more hitting each other!" jeers an audience member.
Karin and Suigetsu pull out kunai and start to trade blows like regular ninjas. Then Karin launches a few chakra chains at Suigetsu. Suigetsu simply turns to liquid and sloshes out of the way. Then Suigetsu points a finger at Karin and fires a bullet of water out of his finger. Karin uses her chains to deflect the bullet, but Suigetsu is already behind her, holding the Executioner's Blade to her neck.
"Dead," says Suigetsu.
Karin lets out a yelp and says, "I surrender!"
"The winner is Suigetsu!" announces Iruka. "There will be a five minute break while the finalists ready themselves for the final match!"
The audience erupts into applause and cheers.